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Mario Draghi Press Conference - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture




 

With the ECB's rate cut decision already wreaking havoc on logic and common sense everywhere, pushing the EUR much higher, and the USd and JPY lower, one can't wait just what non-standard measures Mario Draghi will come up with next to send the EUR to record highs, providing a boon to German IMports. Wait, but the GDP calculation said that net imports are... oh, nevermind. Perhaps Not so super Mario will announce a free Forex trading account for every unemployed European, with half functionality allowing only purchases of EUR, not sales. Look for that, and for further confirmation from the former Goldmanite that the bailout mechanism at the heart of Europe's "sustainability", the OMT, still does not exist and never will, as it is simply impossible to actually agree on a legal term sheet which will govern it.

  • *DRAGHI: WEAK LOAN DEMAND REFLECTS STATE OF ECONOMY, CREDIT RISK
  • *DRAGHI: CREDIT CONDITIONS FOR SMALL, MEDIUM-SIZED FIRMS TIGHT
  • *DRAGHI SAYS ESSENTIAL TO REDUCE FRAGMENTATION FOR TRANSMISSION
  • *DRAGHI: ESSENTIAL TO IMPROVE BANKS' RESILIENCE FOR TRANSMISSION

 

 

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Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:31 | 3521758 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

whoremaster

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:33 | 3521762 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

He's a rock star!

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:50 | 3521802 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

** DRAGHI: 'ECB ALSO ATE UP WITH THE DUMBASS'.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:37 | 3521766 unwashedmass
unwashedmass's picture

free money forever for the banks.......the beatings will continue until morale improves. 

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:37 | 3521767 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

money for free for the next 324 years.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:09 | 3521846 monkeyshine
monkeyshine's picture

You see the insanity. Free money forever, but "credit conditions remain tight for small and medium sized businesses". Who the hell are these CBs printing money for? I guess they think (or want us to believe) that if they print enough eventually the credit markets for smaller businesses will loosen. Do Keynesians believe in trickle down credit?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:39 | 3521769 Skin666
Skin666's picture

Lying fucking cunt

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:39 | 3521771 B2u
B2u's picture

I clicked on the link and found the Comedy Central.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:42 | 3521775 Tinky
Tinky's picture

I will say that his English is superior to my Italian.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:44 | 3521785 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

His English is great, the accent tho...

"Weak balance... shits!"

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:43 | 3521779 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I  just threw a tomato at my monitor. Take that Draghi!

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:43 | 3521782 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

I think ill skip listening to that clown show this am.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:45 | 3521787 B2u
B2u's picture

BULLETIN:  The governing council has agreed on the menu for dinner.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:46 | 3521791 HD
HD's picture

Seven billion people on the planet and a handful of bankers get to fuck them all over at will.  Nice work if you can get it.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:54 | 3521811 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Exactly.  If you see trillions of paper promises and cannot figure out what the real collateral is, it is probably you.  Fraud is the status quo, possession and a dependable tribe will be the law for the foreseeable future.  Fuck the paper-pushers, there is no real value in their labor anyway.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:47 | 3521795 Uncle Zuzu
Uncle Zuzu's picture

"I am going to marry-o to my disastrous policy, even if I have to draghi yo kicking and screaming".

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:49 | 3521799 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    Draghi says the same shit every time. I wouldn't be surprised if the markets sell off after this Kabuki Theatre is digested.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:51 | 3521804 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

"selloff"? You and your finance mumbo jumbo Yen. Always throwing around words none of us ever heard of to show off.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:01 | 3521837 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     look at these jobs #'s Fonz.  Every one of them was revised shittier.

   Continuing Jobless Claims     3,019K     3,028K     3,007K    
05:30       USD             Initial Jobless Claims     324K     345K     342K    
05:30       USD             Nonfarm Productivity (QoQ)       0.7%     1.2%     -1.7%    
05:30       USD             Trade Balance     -38.8B     -42.0B     -43.6B    
05:30       USD             Unit Labor Costs (QoQ)       0.5%     0.7%     4.4%    

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:06 | 3521848 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I give you so much credit for always continuing to analyze. I have abandoned fundamentals and technicals and am pretty much in paralysis from here until something breaks.

Where has Orly been?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:09 | 3521856 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   I haven't heard from her. I'm sure she's just taking a break and focusing on her trading. I just shorted aud/jpy @ 100.61 for a quick 60 pips. The aussie dollar is going in the shitter soon IMHO.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:13 | 3521874 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

let me guess...shitty NFP tomorrow = risk off equals UST's bid = strong dollar?

 

(should equal Moar QE and weak dollar and PM's bid but that ain't happening)

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:20 | 3521905 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    If the number is bad tomorrow I would expect the dollar to sell off. Weak economic news has been dollar negative. But who knows?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:21 | 3521915 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Oh believe me USD selloff makes sense. Which is why I am guessing it won't.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:11 | 3521866 Impoverished Ps...
Impoverished Psychologist's picture

I am abandoning everything, I'm going to go on Storage Hunters - that's where the money is.

 

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:15 | 3521882 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   Those guys are brutal! I've watched that show. They jack the bids up on each other over complete shit lots of magazines and old moldy clothes. I'm surprised they don't have a SWAT team following them around while they're bidding on stuff...

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:04 | 3521842 HD
HD's picture

What Yen said is true Fonz, I looked it up.  A "sell-off" is when the market goes...get ready for this - Down. 

Crazy, I know - but apparently it used to happen all the time. Who knew?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:07 | 3521849 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I bet now that you stated that Wiki is changing the definition to "a buying opportunity".

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:12 | 3521861 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     I had to crack out the 'Websters Dictionary' for that one fellas.  ;-)

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:04 | 3521839 MythicalFish
Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:49 | 3521801 eri
eri's picture

What a Draghi

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:52 | 3521809 B2u
B2u's picture

Help the banks?  How about helping the economy and unemployed workers?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:53 | 3521813 B2u
B2u's picture

What the hell does this mean?

ESSENTIAL TO IMPROVE BANKS' RESILIENCE FOR TRANSMISSION

 

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:03 | 3521840 Racer
Racer's picture

..... of higher bonersus to banksters

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:55 | 3521818 piliage
piliage's picture

YIPPIE! 25 basis points! The EURO is SAVED!!! All hail the ECB!

I'm sure that'll fix everything and those 27% unemployed in Spain are now dancing in the streets.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:13 | 3521871 youngman
youngman's picture
"and those 27% unemployed in Spain are now dancing in the streets."

they are .....and you are supposed to put a tip in the hat

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:01 | 3521836 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

That S&H on the EUR$ hourly chart has to go. :)

U.S. trade balance & Claims should tip the scales.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:04 | 3521843 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

Latest:

ECB NOT IN THE BUSINESS OF CLEANING BANKS' BALANCE SHITS (YES)
ECB NOT IN THE BUSINESS OF BUYING GOV'T BONDS

Game over.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 11:37 | 3522602 piliage
piliage's picture

No. They are in the business of buying their 450,000 EUR mortgaged chinchilla ranches, worthless Spanish apartments, and overvalued loans as 'collateral'.

 

 

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:05 | 3521844 Uncle Zuzu
Uncle Zuzu's picture

*DRAGHI SAYS ESSENTIAL TO REDUCE FRAGMENTATION FOR TRANSMISSION

I wonder if the two guys on Car Talk would agree.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:07 | 3521850 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

So Draghi thinks he will bounce the Germans into Banking Union ? Amusing. The Verfassungsgericht might well nix that idea. It would have been better to have stayed with the D-Mark and let countries that could earn D-Marks through exporting to Germany could effectively link to the D-Mark and the Germans would have to invest more in Eurozone production facilities outside Germany.

This mess cannot be solved. Each European country has a different financial system with different focus and widely deviant tax systems and pension systems. The Capital Markets are so different. Collapse is the only option and China and the Us will have to lump it. Noone is going to take a lead, they are all reactive.

There has to be a Default to set the dominoes in freefall. There is no way people can take another decade of this train wreck

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:08 | 3521853 Racer
Racer's picture

Negative interest rates? You mean I would have to pay to risk the banks stealing my money if I put it in a bank??!!!!!!!!!

Bank of Mattress is a far far far safer option!

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:09 | 3521857 OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

A guy who truely deserves the moniker.  "Dick-head"

If it worked the first time, surely more will work better.   Yeah 'Dick-head'?  You think so?  or should we change your moniker to 'Ass-hole' because all you can do is 'shit talk' the economy into the toilet for the up coming great turd flush.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:19 | 3521891 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

Until they give up on trying to:

a) protect crony theft and fraud

b) create one centrally planned Europe dominated by bankers

They will never be able to fix the problems BECAUSE a) and b) are CAUSING THE F'n PROBLEMS.

My suggestion is to give it up, prosecute fraud and theft vigorously and let the market do its thing. Millions of people working in a free market environment will easily figure out what one organization trying to protect fraud and centralized power has no chance of accomplishing.

... and obviously the same goes doubly for the U.S. Failure to do what is right makes it look as if the whole collapse has been planned by the centralized power toads.... jsut say'in.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:32 | 3521962 q99x2
q99x2's picture

They should be in prison. Somebody call the cops.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:34 | 3521964 Lebensphilosoph
Lebensphilosoph's picture

Would someone please throw a shoe at this jaundiced kiddy-diddler.

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