After months of legislating soda sizes and steak rarenesses it seems the food police have finally met their match. As The Daily Currant "reports", in protest over the proposed soda ban in NY, the owners of Collegno's Pizzeria in Brooklyn refused to serve Mayor Michael Bloomberg a second slice of pizza during an informal lunch meeting. Ripped from the scripts of Seinfeld, or Pulp Fiction, or, appropriately enough, The Onion, when Bloomberg requested the second slice, the owner retorted, "I'm sorry sir, we can't do that. You've reached your personal slice limit." The exchange quickly escalated with the Mayor dropping f-bombs and the restaurant's owner climaxing with, "there's nothing I can do; maybe you could go to several restaurants and get one slice at each. At least that way you're walking. You know, burning calories." A fuming Bloomberg left the pizzeria and finished his meeting (and more pizza) at a rival restaurant.
"Hey, could I get another pepperoni over here?" Bloomberg asked owner Antonio Benito.
"I'm sorry sir," he replied, "we can't do that. You've reached your personal slice limit."
Mayor Bloomberg, not accustomed to being challenged, assumed that the owner was joking.
"OK, that's funny," he remarked, "because of the soda thing ... No come on. I'm not kidding. I haven't eaten all morning, just send over another pepperoni."
"I'm sorry sir. We're serious," Benito insisted. "We've decided that eating more than one piece isn't healthy for you, and so we're forbidding you from doing it."
"Look jackass," Bloomberg retorted, his anger boiling, "I fucking skipped breakfast this morning just so I could eat four slices of your pizza. Don't be a schmuck, just get back to the kitchen and bring out some fucking pizza, okay."
"I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do," the owner repeated. "Maybe you could go to several restaurants and get one slice at each. At least that way you're walking. You know, burning calories."
Witnesses say a fuming Bloomberg and a bemused Liu did indeed walk down the street to a rival pizzeria , ordered another slice and finished their meeting.
P.S. since there may be some confusion about The Daily Currant's "Onionesque" qualities, we should probably suggest that there is a "modest" element of satire to this piece. Which of course means there is a substantial amount of implicit truth.
No more slices for you!
NEXT!
LOL
Speaking of Nanny-B, how long until buys a billion of these to track the unruly citizens of NY?
Fly-sized DRONE:
http://www.csmonitor.com/Science/2013/0502/Flight-of-the-RoboBee-Tiny-ho...
Next time I'm in NY I will make a point of visiting this restaurant.
Yep- Antonio is my new hero- how's THEM balls taste, Mike?
Really smart move, that pizza place is going to be an iconic place soon. THat move is worth millions in advertising dollars. Good job Mr.
Yep. All those kids going to college to get a job in Marketing, this is how Marketing is done. Take note.
Next time there needs to be video. It would go viral & within 24 hours the restaurant would be overwelmed with new business.
"Hey Motherfucker. I skipped breakfast and lunch. Now give me that fucking 36 oz coke before you end up in a fresh barrel of mortar." - Tony Sopranostein
How many times will he be stopped and frisked in the near future? Inquiring minds are wondering. Somebody report back in a month or two whether he's still looking feisty or if he looks like he's been through too many cavity searches. I will be curious to see.
The stop & frisk thing is much more sinister than many think. The cops trick the young black & hispanic kids into pulling out their little bags of weed (usually) and then because of the way the pot decrim laws are written there it becomes a criminal offense. And just like that - poof - no student loans for you plus a criminal record that bars employment most of the time. Too bad the pizzeria owner didn't spill a pot of boiling coffee on the facist prick.
No student loans? Isn't that a reward, not a punishment?
Snopes says false: http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/bloombergpizza.asp
Still funny though.
Regardless, I'll take that kind of a pizza party over a tea party anyday
LOL Keep it current people....
Maybe the "No Pizza for YOU!!" story is fiction, but there are over 30 gun manufacturers that are refusing to sell any of their weapons to any government agency located in New York. So, "No Barrett 50 BMGs for YOU, Mayor Fuckface!!" is the truth.
A thing of beauty, if true..
Now , if they could only do that effectively to the state legislature…
They have, now the number of gun companies refusing to sell to .gov agencies in anti-gun states is 140 and growing. Here is a list and their policy statements (btw Barrett is number 1 on the list):
http://www.thepoliceloophole.com/
Ronnie Barrett's (a true defender of the Second Amendment) statement: http://barrett.net/news/11
imo.. those who share customer status understand
so, what...the police have to start using the hollow points dhs just bought because no manufactures will deal with them?
They already have hollowpoints in their guns.
Read Ronnie Barrett's statement referenced above. Paraphrasing, if citizens can't have our guns, neither can anti-Second Amendment governments.
May Bloomberg drown in a vat of high fructose corn syrup, after being waterboarded with diet Coke.
A tea party had been the starting point of what later will become the USA.
So far, nothing came out of any pizza party, except some dirty walls...
QED
There actually is a Pizza Party. They were listed at the Ma. Primary. There are quite a few obscure parties, but anyone designated as a member of one of these parties could not vote. I sat there for 13 hrs for 170 voters. Piss poor turn out.
Snopes can go fuck itself.
Sorry, not true. It's on Snopes that they cannot go fuck themselves.
But you can go fuck yourself in the mouth, commie.
Ironically, you are fucking yourself in your mouth by uparrowing youself. Do you have self-confidence issues?
All this acrimony and harsh rhetoric is harshing my buzzzzzzz
Snopes!?! Now that's effing funny! I didn't think anyone still "Checked with Snopes" on anything... The Mikkelson's are a pair of idiot nobody's. Barbara and Gregg Mikkelson have absolutely NO investigative experience. Snopes! Hahahahahaha....
Snopes... Yet another pair of jews chromosomed with an unfettering desire, [amateur in this case], to bring truth to the world...
~~~
As for Bloomberg... Sarc or no sarc, it's pretty much a slam dunk that a jew like him would not take kindly to Nazi's [pizza or otherwise]... Jews hate Nazi's [except ~ of course, when they get to play the role of Nazi themselves... At that point it becomes a national pastime]...
Soros' pager just went off...
Snopes seems a little biased to me.
Snopes is shit
Goodluck with that, as my bets are on them not being around in a year or so.
Be it health "violations," non-renewal of business "permit," drug raid, kiddie porn raid, etc. they will probably be gone by this time next year. hujel
He should have slapped mayor fuckface Bloomberg in the face with a pizza slice!
Assault Pizza
This has got to stop for the sake of the children.
No one needs more than one slice.
High capacity semi-automatc pepperoni. Outlawed in NY. 7 slices per pizza maximum.
You don't need more than 7 slices to kill your hunger.
When I'm on a diet I cut my pizza into just 2 slices.
What a hero. See how long the health dept takes to harass him into submission.
If this is true...
this guy's a national hero!
And we need to proclaim him so!
Fuck you, BloomTurd!
You know what they say about good fiction like 1984. You can't make this shit up.
If they actually set Statist hounds onto his business to try and fuck him up that would turn on Bloomcunt. It would go viray and get on the MSM.
He would be a national hero folks are waiting for this kind of thing.
I hope some cock-sucking sycophant decides to do it to impress the Boss.
Well worth it to tell a limo fascist dictator to shove it up his ass.
I wish the damn ammo manufacturers that are supplying DHS would eat at Collegno's!
Pubic hairs were found on his big gulps and his anchovies smelt like Janet Reno's knickers !
Hey Benito , I gotta letter here for you from the US Treasury.
I used to go to a place that advertised One for One Pizza in Montreal. Your order one, you only got one. It was an original concept I must say. It has long been closed. Guess they moved to New York.
I Live in Ottawa, and I can tell you the 1 for 1 chain is alive in wwell on the Quebec side, there are at lest 4 franchises that I know of near Ottawa. Cheers!
" Get used to it" ...Bloomburg the half-pint...
Loved it!
Maybe post a sign stating: "We reserve the right to refuse service to politicians."