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Fire Shuts Down Labor Department Headquarters
Will this be the first instance in history of too many fired leading to an actual fire? Let the jokes begin.
An overnight fire at the Labor Department's headquarters has shut the building down for most employees.
Spokesman Carl Fillichio says the agency's monthly employment report will be released as scheduled Friday. Department employees and members of the news media involved in the release of the report will be allowed in the building as usual.
But all other Labor employees who were scheduled to work in the building will receive administrative leave.
Fillichio did not immediately have information on what caused the fire at the Frances Perkins building or how extensive the damage was. The building on Constitution Ave. opened in 1975.
Well, there go all the "on paper" jobs saved or created during the "recovery."
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"Reichstagsbrand"
Houston airport....is this the best we can do for homegrown terrorists?
He was a mental health worker who just had a bad day, a real terrorist woundn't have shot a couple in the air before checking out.
to bad they fired the entire fire brigade...
The random number generator is in another building so putting out the report...no problemo.
They had already "leaked" the report to the politicians and bankstas for some Thursday front running so it was no problem to get someone to email the copy this morning.
It doesn't really concern them...
IT'S THE LABOR DEPARTMENT!!! SO THAT MEANS THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT THE CHINESE!!
“Toast”.. like the actual economy.
All those paper job's up in smoke..
the printer just couldn't handle all the lies anymore...
The portal to hell that they've been using for directions was leaky?
Non-Farm Payrole 451
My house is out of the ordinary
That's right, don't want to hurt nobody
Some things sure can sweep me off my feet
Burning down the house
No visible means of support and you have not seen nothin yet
Everything's stuck together
I don't know what you expect staring into the TV set
Fighting fire with fire
BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE
Fire!
Liar, liar, pants on fire
Speaking of liars, Paul Krugman recently stated that this fire will definitely push aggregate demand. He said this while smashing windows out of the building while the fire burned.
If 'liar, liar, pants on fire' were true, D.C. would be a world record conflagration putting past fires on history to shame......
All data lost, from now on all employment and unemployment figues will have to be estimated.
I was thinking "go long" municipal toilet paper. (Just what the bejesus could burn at the Labor department?)
Comic Books, the Communist Manifesto, Propaganda booklets, Screwed up Labor Reports ..... certainly not a cause for alarm. They could raize the building, and only the people that "work" there, and passerby's would even notice.
I hope they didn't lose any important documents.
/rolls eyes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfXC9T8hzlY
As if on cue: http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/02/fire-insurance-is-worthless/
What do you mean "as if"?
Krugman is the magical "Keynes 8-ball".
"Fire is your friend! Just think of the economic stimulative effects that burning a house or business can have."
Krugman.....what a genius.
Fire Insurance Is Worthless!After all, there’s no evidence that it prevents fires.
Fire rated products prevent fires.....fire insurance covers you from the damage when they fail.
Now point the barrel at your head then click the safety off....yeah like that....you're doing good.
AND!!! And in some places they put a fire so FROM THE ASHES GREEN GRASS CAN GROW!!!
THIS IS SO GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY THAT OBAMA MUST BE DOING HIS LITTLE GORILLA DANCE RIGHT NOW!!!
Krugman was caught in his office trying to pull one out at the thought of the GDP addition we'll get from the fire repairs.......
I EVEN HEARD THERE WAS A FIRE IN FORT KNOX AND ALL THE GOLD BURNED AWAY!!!
our gold certificates... all gone...
*sniff*
Yep; they got the gold mine, we got the shaft.
Expect a good nfp number.
Of course, the cabal has set the expectations in the basement to fool the sheep one more time.
The numbers are smokin, hot......
YEP!!!
THEY JUST HIRED 10 BUMS THAT WHERE SLEEPING IN FRONT OF THE BUILDING TO PUT THE FIRE OUT!!!!!
UNEMPLOYMENT NUMBERS MINUS 10 BITCHEZ!!!!!!
wounder what evidence was distroyed
Obamas bith certificate! lol!! This way he will never again have to produce it and they will except the one with the social from the guy from Conneticut.
Birth, labor numbers, oh, I get it now...
And if that doesn't shut em up he's got 5 more...
All different.
Bitch certificate, bitchez!
We dont need no water let the motherfucker burn. Burn motherfucker. Burn.
An Act of God.
Do you really think Lloyd did it? They won't insure for that you know...
There is no insurance against The SqwidTM. Counterparty risk is over the top.
Well, there go all the "on paper" jobs saved or created during the "recovery."
What recovery is this man referring too, the one that requires 85 billion in Monetized debt every month?
When I hear the term "Saved or Created" that indicates an inability to quantify anything. In other words, a lie!
And we are suckers for even attmeping to track the so called story.
Zombie Nation.
The only place where there is less labor going on than in the Post Office.
or the Party Palace (the White House).
A brilliant strategy by the technocrats....fire scrubs evidence quicker than a shredder. Kudos to our gubmint masters !
that and the f-disk guy in the black suit, runnign around too all servers/stations hitting f-disk
They better have used union arsonists or there will be hell to pay!
And the devil doesn't take a credit card or fiat.
So they set fire to the building before some really bad jobs numbers were due out? Must be desperate!
they need some time to rewrite the script so it turn out as good new anyway...
I bet the Seasonal-Adjustomatic Machine over heated this time.
Convenient.
Planes dropping out the sky, fires everywhere, freak snow weather, can you say end times and bible at the same time?
lock it down! and where the hell is that swat team that I orderd to do a office to office sweep!
shelter in place
Failing that, get out yer scissors! Leeeeerrrroooooooyyyy Jenkins!
Krugman would be proud. Instead of breaking windows we are burning buildings, bullish for job creation.
The Gov stole money from the citizens to pay for that building. It burned down and they will steal more money to assess, plan, and build. Krugman is pissing himself with excitement.
The pre NFP Gold and Silver smack-down right on schedule, fuckers.
And the post NFP shank, down we go!
Silver: Up, down, trying to get that feeling again.
We will go insane if we track these little moves too closely.
LL Cool J - Going Back To Cali - YouTube I don't think so! The 0riginal "Biggie Smalls" How do you perps listen to this Shite?
Some serious 808 work in the LL cover.
Must.Destroy.Evidence.
Remind me again, just what does the Labor Department do? I mean, exactly what good do they do?
They save 100's of people billions of bux...
Whatever it is, "labor" won't be part of it.
"Labor Employees" - does not compute, does it combust?
I apologise in advance... but LOL!
We are sorry, Mr. Senator, but those records you asked for in your investigation of fraudulent Labor Department data manipulation were apparently destroyed in a fire back in 2013....
- Congressional Record, May 2017
Uparrow for humorous implication--a senator with scruples!!! LOL!
Will this be the U.S. Reichstag?
Stay tuned...
Numbers and revisions are super hot. That's why!
upcoming statistics was so bad they decided to delay reporting it
Trim Tabs is interesting. Biderman says after the governments collapse into bankruptcy the online business will lead us to a period of prosperity.
But what is really interesting about his presentation is that he finally unabashedly reveals the darkest secret of all--his telephone pole.
Huge upward revision!!?? See, I told you the Seasonal-Adjustomatic Machine over heated this time!
Just cooking the books........
Smells like overcooked books...
Those books have been toast long before the fire.
They call it jewish lightning for a reason.
Linkin Park - In The End - YouTube Chair Satans theme song! I will never let up on that little Krugmanite BITCH!
NFP - No Fire Protection
This is Really bad report... The burning is very much like the grey backpack being black.. Propaganda Propaganda... This my folks is the only report that could come out because the FED backed themselves in the coner. YOU CANNOT TRUST THESE NUMBERS. MASSACHUSETTS HAS TURNED OVER THERE UNEMPLOYMENT CALCULATIONS TO BLS.. The revised the -8000 to -40000 for the year. Now the fire and I am the wing nut...
Thank God it wasn't in NY, it would have collapsed under its own weight..
Steel skyscrapers seem to to fine elsewhere.
No mas pantelones!
OBAMA: YOU DIDN'T PUT FIRE TO THAT BUILDING ALL BY YOURSELF!!! SOMEBODY ELSE HELPED YOU!!! the secret service for example....
It's Keynesian Kristal Nacht and Reichstag Fire Labor Statistics Jubilee .... the truth goes up in smoke .... and out the window ! Damn, woke up with a woody .... and feel like a Thai girl McMuffin breakfast face wrap !
It was a drill. Craft was on hand to coordinate.
It gets even better: http://www.v3.co.uk/v3-uk/news/2265506/chinese-hackers-hijack-us-governm...?
Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to visit the Department of Labor's website. Holy Shit!
Everyone loves a long weekend.
Unemployment is at 7.5%!!! Obumernomics works!
Layoff the bankstas worker bees @JPM, BOA, etc... and everyone go to Wally World for the 30 hr jobs. Don't worry, OCare will take care of you!
Jump for joy, light off fire crackers, OH SH@T the building caught on fire!!!
Maybe the Bernank has taken to moving printing presses into firehouses?
They are running way past warranty
I wonder what kind of "Intangible" adjustment this fire will allow to be added to Q2 GDP.
Extrapolating the "Broken window" theory dictates that a .5 bump to Q2 GDP should be the minimum we see as a result of having to hire all of those new, temporary part-time analysts to manually re-create the fdocument that were lost in the DoL archives.
This will allow them to claim "plaudsible deniability" since the internal memos that documented the orchestration that is the farce of this labor market are now irrevocably lost to the dust, er, ash bin.
No problem, Goldman had duplicates of the jobs stats.
To much bullshit around, must of been using it to heat the place.
The dried manure of animals has been used as fuel throughout history. Dried manure (usually known as dung) of cows was, and still is, an important fuel source in countries such as India, while camel dung may be used in treeless regions such as deserts. On the Oregon Trail, pioneering families collected large quantities of "buffalo chips" in lieu of scarce firewood. It has been used for many purposes, in cooking fires and to combat the colddesert nights.
wiki
They shut down the Department of Labor and nobody noticed.
This is the defining comment of the thread.