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Will JPMorgan's "Enron" Be The End Of Blythe Masters?

Tyler Durden's picture


One year after the infamous Jamie Dimon "tempest in a teapot" fiasco, which promptly turned out to be the biggest TBTF prop-trading desk debacle in history, things were going well for JPMorgan.

On one hand, the chairman of the TBAC (and thus US Treasury advisor and policy administrator), and former LTCM trader, Matt Zames, was just recently promoted to the sole second in command post at the biggest US bank (and 2nd biggest in the world) by assets, and first in line to take over from Jamie Dimon. On the other hand, one of Mary Jo White's former co-workers, and a JPM defense attorney from Debevoise just became head of the SEC's enforcement division, in theory guaranteeing that the US government would never do more than slap the wrist of JPM in perpetuity.

And then, when everything seemed like smooth sailing ahead, the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) showed up on March 13, the day before Carl Levin's committee released its latest report on JPM's prop trading blunder, and according to the NYT, alleged that JPM in the past several years, quietly became nothing short than the next Enron.

Government investigators have found that JPMorgan Chase devised “manipulative schemes” that transformed “money-losing power plants into powerful profit centers,” and that one of its most senior executives gave “false and misleading statements” under oath. The findings appear in a confidential government document, reviewed by The New York Times, that was sent to the bank in March, warning of a potential crackdown by the regulator of the nation’s energy markets.

Another "tempest in a teapot"... Or is JPM reprising the role of the most hated company from the early 2000s, Enron, now that absolutely everyone's attention is focused on its purportedly criminal activity, potentially a problematic development? It very well might be.

The JPMorgan case arose, according to the document, after the bank’s 2008 takeover of Bear Stearns gave the bank the rights to sell electricity from power plants in California and Michigan. It was a losing business that relied on “inefficient” and outdated technology, or as JPMorgan called it, “an unprofitable asset.”

Funny: another "case" that has arisen, so far at mostly in the tinfoil hat periphery of the blogosphere is that JPM also inherited some massive precious metal shorts when it was handed over Bears Stearns on a Fed-subsidized silver platter, and it is the legacy of these short positions that has encouraged various JPM employees, such as Blythe Masters for example, to not only do everything in their power to push the price of gold and silver lower, but to align directly with the Fed, which wants nothing more than to destroy every single last believer in real, not paper-based, "quality-collateral."

For now, however, let's get back to what was previously conspiracy theory, and is now fact:

Under “pressure to generate large profits,” the agency’s investigators said, traders in Houston devised a workaround. Adopting eight different “schemes” between September 2010 and June 2011, the traders offered the energy at prices “calculated to falsely appear attractive” to state energy authorities. The effort prompted authorities in California and Michigan to dole out about $83 million in “excessive” payments to JPMorgan, the investigators said. The behavior had “harmful effects” on the markets, according to the document.

Uh-oh. Sounds suspiciously close to what a certain Houston firm, once upon a time called Enron (advised by none other than one Paul Krugman) was doing to the California electricity market. And where the FERC and legacy ENRON instances arise, sparks are sure to fly.

But what is worst for JPM, and its brilliant (abovementioned) employee, often times credited with creating the Credit Default Swap product and market (simply an instrument to trade credit with negligible upfront collateral and thus allow equity option-like speculation in the credit realm), is that FERC may be seeking to throw the book at none other than Blythe Masters.

In the energy market investigation, the enforcement staff of the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, or FERC, intends to recommend that the agency pursue an action against JPMorgan over its trading in California and Michigan electric markets. 


The 70-page document also took aim at a top bank executive, Blythe Masters.

Blythe did a bad, bad thing. So bad she lied about it under oath 

The regulatory document cites her supposed “knowledge and approval of schemes” carried out by a group of energy traders in Houston. The agency’s investigators claimed that Ms. Masters had “falsely” denied under oath her awareness of the problems and said that JPMorgan had made “scores of false and misleading statements and material omissions” to authorities, the document shows.

Oops. And it's only downhill from here, because what follows, are the two scariest words a banker can hear in the context of a potential enforcement decision: "individually liable"

For now, according to the document, the enforcement officials plan to recommend that the commission hold the traders and Ms. Masters “individually liable.” While Ms. Masters was “less involved in the day-to-day decisions,” investigators nonetheless noted that she received PowerPoint presentations and e-mails outlining the energy trading strategies.

And some more scary words: "systematic cover-up"

The bank, investigators said, then “planned and executed a systematic cover-up” of documents that exposed the strategy, including profit and loss statements.


In the March document, the government investigators also complained about what they said was obstruction by Ms. Masters. After the state authorities began to object to the strategy, Ms. Masters “personally participated in JPMorgan’s efforts to block” the state authorities “from understanding the reasons behind JPMorgan’s bidding schemes,” the document said.


The investigators also referenced an April 2011 e-mail in which Ms. Masters ordered a “rewrite” of an internal document that raised questions about whether the bank had run afoul of the law. The new wording stated that “JPMorgan does not believe that it violated FERC’s policies.”

Looks like the FERC disagreed. But how could it? It was only a year ago that Blythe was on CNBC promising that not only she, but JPMorgan would and could never do anything wrong in the commodities, or any other, arena. Who can possibly forget her unforgettable platitude: "What is commonly out there is that JPMorgan is manipulating the metals market. It's not part of our business model. it would be wrong and we don't do it."

But... if she fabricated data, blocked regulatory investigations, and lied under oath could she possibly also have... lied to CNBC? No... that is unpossible.

So what happens next?

Well, JPM can hope that its guy at the SEC, Andrew Ceresney, who happens to be in charge of the porn-addicted agency's "enforcement" division, has just enough clout to make that other regulator, the FERC forget all about its inquiry, and its factually-justified allegations.

Or, failing that, and should justice finally prevail in this banana republic for one of the TBTF banks, what may just happen is that Blythe may end up in prison. Minimum security, of course, and for a very brief period of time, with all of her (allegedly) ill-gotten and accumulated wealth waiting for her upon reentry into society. And that's fine.

But what we hope for is that there is at least a brief period of time when Blythe's finger is not be on the gold "sell" button. Not because we want to be deprived of the opportunity to buy physical gold and silver at far cheaper than fair value prices (which, by the way, are meaningless when expressed in dying fiat), but because we are simply curious how high gold may go should JPM's commodity queen finally be put away temporarily... or permanently.

Even for a total banana republic, this does not seem like such a far-fetched request.


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Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:40 | 3525481 jepicza
jepicza's picture

Hmm, she's cute? What's the problem?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:49 | 3525495 Rubicon
Rubicon's picture

Just tell us Tyler...

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:56 | 3525511 Manthong
Manthong's picture

jep.. you are probably a cool dude, but keep in mind that the best looking hooker with the clap is likely not a good thing for anybody.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:00 | 3525523 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

Fly-Blown Masters.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:11 | 3525529 Manthong
Manthong's picture

maybe Blythe chaffed me up there..?

or is that the pro-gonorrhea contingent speaking up?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:25 | 3525546 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

WmBanzai7 has got some tantalizing crime ["allegedly"] porn material.

I find his visuals are so powerful as to be dangerous to subsequent original thought.

...and don't forget Eric Holder. He certainly isn't staying up late trying to make a case (more likely a Chicago wish list).

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:32 | 3525557 Manthong
Manthong's picture

no good reference to "black mandarin" outside of a silly suit on google.

thinking about the current power structure, is there something to be concerned about? 

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:51 | 3525580 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

The gold bug's Lorena Bobbitt.

I hate her.

However, it would be very tough to get a unanimous verdicked from a jury of clueless grannies whose financial acumen is embodied by their joy playing slot machines.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:01 | 3525593 Manthong
Manthong's picture

hmm. that is an interesting perspective..

but likely, in her mind she is just going with the flow..  a rewarding flow.. and she has not a concern of the how the flow is drowning the little people that are not on her radar and nowhere in her scope.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:09 | 3525601 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

She has spent her professional life (in part, apparently) trying to keep those "little people" down.

She is presently failing.

China and India "little people"? How 20th Century of you...

She will burn like a witch if the real deciders wish it. Period.

[Period? actually likely not, she's 44 and going off the radar and the rag [uncalled for generally, but this particular "BM" deserves it].

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:16 | 3525608 Manthong
Manthong's picture


they might give her up.

like Demi Moore in Margin Call.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:23 | 3525612 Manthong
Manthong's picture

and to the moron that feels the personal need to be negative at me ..  FU and your progeny

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:25 | 3525622 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

[Whispered] "It's her, man. It's her!"

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 06:30 | 3525745 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture





Baby did a bad, bad thing......



Fri, 05/03/2013 - 06:58 | 3525782 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Oh, come on. Shit gets serious and you know she is heading home to escape the prosecution. I mean it's not like the UK has an extradition treaty with the US. OK, well at least JPM still runs the SEC. Blythe will have no troubles. She might get a $1000 fine for being a bad bad girl. Yes, I've gotten cynical. But that's the way it is when you live in a banana republic that forgot that it doesn't produce bananas. So, what does that make the US? Something like a hamburger republic?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:04 | 3525791 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

If it fits into JPM's policies to throw her under the bus, they won't hesitate a second ...

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:26 | 3525825 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture





Two second head start.


......and go!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:48 | 3525879 bernorange
bernorange's picture

Burn the witch!  She turned me into a newt!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:53 | 3525885 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

I thought, you got better!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:15 | 3525948 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Fire up the electric chair one more time.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:58 | 3526227 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Fire up the electric chair one more time.

...affectionately known as Ol' Sparky.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:00 | 3526882 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture

Blythe will be hung out.

Just like in the 1930s when FDR said that the 1929 crash and subsequent depresson was caused by "a few bad apples" requiring new regulation (hell, it wasn't the Fed), Blythe will be fingered, Eric "fast and furious" Holder will propose new reglations, and everyone will go home happy that they've caught the perp in silver and gold manipulation.


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:20 | 3527021 strannick
strannick's picture



Meanwhile the CFTC's Inspector Clouseaus like Bart Chilton enable gold and silver manipulation by never closing their bullshit investigation. 

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:53 | 3527198 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

For God's sake, someone throw a pie!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:20 | 3525963 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

She's lighter than very small rocks!


$83M!!?? So what, she'll be fined 50 bucks? Non-event this will be.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:46 | 3527165 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

And when she's wearing her brass bra, her left boob is noticeably colder than her right boob.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:48 | 3527175 jharry
jharry's picture

I agree.  It's much ado about nothing.  When they jail Santa Claus, they might fine Blythe Masters.


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:25 | 3525623 philipat
philipat's picture


"That would be wrong and we don't do it"

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:41 | 3525625 Manthong
Manthong's picture

if it's you, foxy..

maybe we get it on? !!

oops.. you are going to have to accommodate  wife Hilga in the arrangements. 

and star dude.. if I had her as a pronounced enemy, I would feel enormous new energy.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:42 | 3527148 fonestar
fonestar's picture

When this pile of shit blows up there will be no more bubbles to blow for the Wicked Bitch of the West.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 05:56 | 3525726 Lets_Eat_Ben
Lets_Eat_Ben's picture

Ferc her up! Ferc'ing Blythe!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:28 | 3525844 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

In Blythe we Thrust

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:11 | 3525609 Dealyer Turdin
Dealyer Turdin's picture

Less then a week and it's already broken...
A little over two weeks ago I was looking on looking for a good cheep vibr and I found this one. It was a great price and all the reviews were pretty positive about this product.About a week ago I received this vibr

I was very excited because it's my first. It worked great but to day I dropped it it wasn't a large drop maybe 6 inches most likely less...


Due diligence jus sayn

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:54 | 3526188 prains
prains's picture

jiggle it

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:26 | 3527339 prains
prains's picture

come on! maybe the battery is stuck and not making contact

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:35 | 3527114 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

The reviews were great, and the comments?  Priceless!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:51 | 3525496 MythicalFish
MythicalFish's picture

Don't be fooled by looks.


She's a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, Gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:57 | 3525518 Georgiabelle
Georgiabelle's picture

She keeps her Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
'Let them eat cake' she says
Just like Marie Antoinette


Off with her head.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:09 | 3525607 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

I can picture Blythe sitting behind her desk, violently stabbing a voodoo doll over and over, screeching with rage everytime the small paper copy of Tyler Durden's ZH avatar falls off the doll's head.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:45 | 3525983 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

If Tyler is the face of her voodoo doll, then Max Keiser is the bulls eye on her dart board.  Max has been telling ugly truths about Masters and her master, Dimon, for years.  I look forward to Max's show tomorrow, perhaps he will touch on this subject and the appropriate punishment.  Max was at his best this past week talking about the banksters, at ICAP, who rig interest rate swaps:

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:19 | 3527012 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

OJ got away with it, for a time.  Blythe will get away with her evil and manipulative ways, for a time.  But there will be public disgrace at some point.  The damage inflicted and the narcissism runs deep.  Nature will realign her and bring her back to center, which in her world is a complete fall from grace.

She deserves zero respect.


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:39 | 3527133 dryam
dryam's picture

I don't use this term very often, but when I see her face or come across her name the only word that comes to mind is "Cunt".

Sat, 05/04/2013 - 00:30 | 3529559 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

now now.  nothing wrong with cunt.  with b. masters on the other hand ....

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:08 | 3525532 q99x2
q99x2's picture

They photo-shopped the horns off her head.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:40 | 3525567 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Fuck you Blythe and the horse you rode in under!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:29 | 3526066 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

Or to put the words in a different order....


Blythe you rode in and fuck the horse under you!


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:51 | 3525582 Me_Myself_and_I
Me_Myself_and_I's picture

what.. Ann Coulter kick you out?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:07 | 3525604 Dealyer Turdin
Fri, 05/03/2013 - 04:47 | 3525686 B2u
B2u's picture

Jaime Dimon's afternoon delight.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 06:09 | 3525730 silvermail
silvermail's picture

Through the work of Blythe, we now have two indexes GSR. One GSR “by spot price on gold and silver” – is 61 and the second GSR “by physical price on gold and silver” – is 51. LOL!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:42 | 3526104 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

One of my LCS's is now actually posting the later on the board.

Strange days.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 09:28 | 3526368 H E D G E H O G
H E D G E H O G's picture

martha stewart has just sent ms. masters her latest paperback, " The Do's and Don'ts of Incarceration".

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 14:22 | 3527808 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Don't forget Martha's Appetizer & Entertaining Bible.

"How to Gracefully Eat PooNanny With the Extra Bonus of Hidden Appetizers in the Folds of Thighs"

Then there's her prison craft book on "Homemade Female Prophylactics".

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:28 | 3527067 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"Hmm, she's cute? What's the problem?"

Yup, in a Nancy Pelosi kinda way.....

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:00 | 3527233 Jon Bong Jovi
Jon Bong Jovi's picture

She's a lot cuter with my load over her face. Preferably in her eye and hair for good measure. 

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:19 | 3527295 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

If Blythe is in trouble, I would expect even more desperate PM short raids to be executed.  If I were a silverbug, I would be genuinely scared of this crazy shit she is going to pull when udner threat. Put this woman under legal threat and watch hyper-violent reaction she will perform at the JPM commodity division.  The +/- 3% swing today in silver is just the start.    The crazy black witch will be getting her flying monkeys out and whipping them into an even more rabid frenzy.  

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:40 | 3525482 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

She does have a cuntish look about her!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:06 | 3525534 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

She does have a cunningish look about her!


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:28 | 3525536 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

My bet is that she's bait and deflection.

Same role as Scooter Libby from the Bush years.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 09:01 | 3526245 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


My bet is that she's bait and deflection.

Same role as Scooter Libby from the Bush years.

You don't suppose her real name is Irving Lewis Masters, do you?

That would be too damned weird.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:05 | 3527251 Captain Willard
Captain Willard's picture


The obvious pattern developing here is that Jamie Dimon throws underlings to the wolves to protect himself.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:56 | 3525588 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Just like Pelosi, Boxer, Feinstein or Clinton.

Evil women do exist... and Blythe is one of them.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:17 | 3525951 Lebensphilosoph
Lebensphilosoph's picture

As opposed to ... good women? Where do I find one of those?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:30 | 3527081 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I found mine at church.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:55 | 3526196 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Evil women do exist... and Blythe is one of them.

Shoulda listened to Spooky Tooth:

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:43 | 3525486 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

It will take a mob of enraged citizens hanging the heads of J.P. Morgue and burning their buildings and branches down to bring any change.

A few phone calls from the other banksters at Walls Fargone, Citi(gang), and Bunk of Amerika to Eric Holder will end any prosecution of their fraud and legerdemain.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:57 | 3525591 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Yep. The Just Us department won't do anything.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:38 | 3525863 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Eric Holder - deer in the headlights

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:58 | 3526231 Arrowflinger
Arrowflinger's picture

Nope. Holder is a blind mole who avoids daylight.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:45 | 3525489 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

She is truly a despicable human being. Anything bad that happens to her is not nearly enough for the harm she has caused for millions of people around the world.


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:00 | 3525595 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

We'd have to read some ancient Spanish inquisition-era books, improved by modern technology to keep her alive for years on end to give her what she deserves. Alongside her, there could be Bernanke, Geithner, Dimon and so many others I forget their names. After a few years of torture, we could finally cut their heads off, put them on pikes and plant the pikes on the White House lawn.

Then, and only then, will justice have been served.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:49 | 3525645 akak
akak's picture

I still like my original idea for punishing the sociopathic criminal oligarchs: lower them naked into a smooth, featureless vat filled with three inches of concentrated sulfuric acid, and broadcast worldwide, on both radio and television, their agonized screams and futile pleas for mercy as they ever so slowly dissolve, from the feet up, and descend into the acid.

For Blythe, it would be especially appropriate if they line her vat with gold.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:38 | 3525862 new game
new game's picture

and you are just trying to be nice...

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:39 | 3526079 web bot
web bot's picture

Now come on Mr. Akak.... tell us what you really think!!!  :)

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:58 | 3526223 prains
prains's picture

i thought you were more of an "oven roast" kinda guy

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 09:10 | 3526280 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Send her to the International Space Station, sit her on a toilet that empties into the vacuum of space, flush, and post onto youtube the video of her shitting herself inside out into orbit.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:26 | 3527053 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Eh, no need for suffereng.  It won't undo what they have done.

No, I'd rather just have them executed en masse, and have their heads put on pikes, and line all the roads from New Your toWashington with them.  Every three meters.

Sat, 05/04/2013 - 17:43 | 3530546 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

tmosley - ordinarily I am in complete agreement with your posts, but in this case I strongly disagree. There is a great need for exquisite and prolonged suffering on the part of Masters, Dimon et al in equal measure to the suffering that they have caused in the lives of others. A eye for an eye is just about right.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:46 | 3525490 luckylongshot
luckylongshot's picture

One less financial terrorist

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:47 | 3525494 joego1
joego1's picture

When I first looked at her pic I thought it was Tina Fey.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:56 | 3525512 MythicalFish
MythicalFish's picture

Upcoming project: The Muppets...Again!

Seriously, dude, that was spot on!!!


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 04:27 | 3525675 potlatch
potlatch's picture

if you are saying that Ms masters looks like Tina Fey, I am sure Ms. Masters would want to correct you: Tina Fey looks like her. 


There are certain protocols of class we must respect sir, please.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:51 | 3525501 Xando
Xando's picture

So they're going to throw Blythe to the wolves, eh? Not too surprising. Let's see if she survives. With any luck she'll manage to go down and take a bunch with her.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:53 | 3525505 BadKiTTy
BadKiTTy's picture

....must .....not ......make 'going down' ....joke......

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:07 | 3525535 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

It will be worth her while take a fall for the team.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:57 | 3525635 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

The timing is interesting.  Right after the metals smash, when JPM is about to run out of COMEX gold, they finally come out with this?  The Feds had many years to take her down.  Have they finally gotten serious about prosecuting major players, or do the puppetmasters need a plausible single scapegoat for the imminent demise of the entire Western financial system?  Is JPM going about to become the "bad bank", i.e. the derivatives black hole everyone can toss their crap into?  Or perhaps Blythe has pissed of TPTB by taking delivery of metals with her personal account after manipulating them downward?  Even if this is a bit of a witch hunt I won't feel sorry for her... Burn her!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:42 | 3525866 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

This is the continuing twitch that will be the excuse for why JPM will be taken down, along with the CME. The purpose is to confiscate OUR wealth, not to punish JPM. By destroying JPM / CME, the oligarchs will have effectively killed much trading and will keep all the money from the accounts, because the world will be in shock. Quickly thereafter, other  major banks will fail as the cascade becomes unstoppable. The collapse of the economy is near, I believe...  The vaults were emptied in order to protect that gold from ending up in anyone else's hands... it went to the oligarchs. And I bet, with the derivatives book as an excuse, most of our money also went to the oligarchs already.  There is a lot of trading that is routed through the JPM house, and a lot of assets are parked there. Kind of like registered gold, but registered assets for trades.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 14:48 | 3527909 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Cyprus anyone? Afterall wasn't that the blueprint?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 04:38 | 3525680 WAMO556
WAMO556's picture

Nah, she'll suicide herself by shooting herself in the back of the head three times!!!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:52 | 3525502 BadKiTTy
BadKiTTy's picture

If by "book" you mean - 'nothing at all will happen apart from a bit of bluff and bluster with the hope that everyone will get bored/forget'. Then I agree.  

I have lost faith that the system is now capable of justice.  

Last 5 years for me = BIG wake up call! 

I really wonder what I was thinking about all those years before - asleep I guess.  


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 09:14 | 3526295 KickIce
KickIce's picture

It'll be the usual comic book, where all you can do is laugh (otherwise you getsick) at the justice being meted out.  She's next in line after Corzine to get prosecuted.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:35 | 3527378 thelibcentury
thelibcentury's picture

Are you sure it was a book?

Are you sure it wasn't...nothing?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:52 | 3525503 Georgiabelle
Georgiabelle's picture

I'm not holding my breath. Everyone at JPM appears to be teflon coated. 

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:53 | 3525504 gorillaonyourback
gorillaonyourback's picture

The grim reaper comes a calling for her or nothiing ever happens

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:54 | 3525506 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

Still here Blythe. 

Thank you for creating the chance to be a part of the biggest wealth transfer in history.

Oh a few Timber Wolf 9999 waiting to be picked up tomorrow from the local dealer at £25.00... MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:58 | 3525520 colin
colin's picture

25quid , that is sweet! i will see mine for noting less than 500 quid each.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:39 | 3525524 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

Only in new quids I hope!

Edit: Looking forward to the day we change back to a hard backed currency!


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:54 | 3525507 Ham-bone
Ham-bone's picture

Real good and well, but I just want my two dollars!  Two dollars!!!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 01:54 | 3525508 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Take the Cunt Down !!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:01 | 3525521 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Come on you know they never do anything to the real criminals. If her name was Marthe Stewart then we might see some action, otherwise some palms get greased and this quietly goes away just like libor and countess other crimes.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:01 | 3525525 lewy14
lewy14's picture

Game of Thrones stuff. Thankfully well above my pay grade.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:02 | 3525528 sitenine
sitenine's picture

I'm skeptical. I still don't think DOJ is in any mood to  allow it. Systemic risk hasn't gone anywhere, has it? Or maybe they see the writing on the wall for JPM? I heard somewhere (ZH) that JPM was running out of gold. I honestly don't know. This will be entertaining to watch though, of that I am certain.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:05 | 3525530 Xando
Xando's picture

She is the head of Global Commodities for JPM. Is it odd that they've seen their store of physical gold sharply drop, to be followed by her head on the block?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:10 | 3525538 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

Didn't she invent the Credit Default Cum-Swap?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:08 | 3525800 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



I looked straight into it's that bad?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:44 | 3525871 new game
new game's picture

what did/do you see?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:00 | 3525889 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



It was like a million souls all screaming out at once.......and then.......nothing.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 09:10 | 3526282 Hayek FA
Hayek FA's picture

A tree, a white tree in a courtyard of stone and it was dead.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 09:15 | 3526304 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Lucky you didn't turn to stone.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:34 | 3525560 Frastric
Frastric's picture

It comes down to this; which of Goldman Sachs or JPM has lobbied the most and has the most amount of insiders in the US government?

If Goldman has the advantage then this could be their scheme to destroy JPM, using the US government to actually -- SHOCK! -- prosecute banksters (JPM ones), and then when JPM collapses (possibly Enron-style) Goldman swoops in to pick up the remains of the carcass like it has always done.

Considering how the banksters are thieving, lying, cut-throat bastards to the people, then they must surely be the same to each other as there is no honour amongst thieves. And we know Goldman wants world domination and JPM would be one of its biggest rivals.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:46 | 3525575 RebelDevil
RebelDevil's picture

Great post, but I am skeptical.
Ever since the gold and silver smash, I've been thinking Jamie Dimon and Lloyd Blankfiend have been golfing with each other, laughing their asses off and having fun like good ol' pals.

Goldman says short gold, JPM sells shit loads of futures. Collusion?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:14 | 3525946 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

GS and JPM don't get to decide the outcome... it's clear so far, JPM is going down, not to be sold to GS, but to steal a tremendous amount of wealth.


And i suspect the phrase "there's no honor among thieves" relates only to the lower castes... at the very top, everyone is a soldier or victim, they're playing a role in a strategy, they're not mere thieves.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:37 | 3525562 Conax
Conax's picture

I feel a lot of good, honest hate here, and I'm really enjoying it.  This shrew invented the credit default swaps which I understand are gambler's hedges for and against everything on earth so emormous in scope they could blow up in chain reaction clear to TEOTWAWKI.  She is central to the Big Plot.

Maybe they'll fine her, ( the boys would re-imburse) but I think she knows too much to ever get prosecuted and jailed. 


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:45 | 3525574 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

If I were in her shoes, I'd probably keep the hair dryer and the toaster away from the bathtub for a few months.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:45 | 3525573 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Is that other redhead cunt Rebecca, Uprick Murdochs taliswoman at the former Sun ToiletNewspaper who gave a thumbs up for dead kiddy phone taps amongst other taps And whose hubby Charlie tosspot Brooks rides on weekends with David calmdowndear Cameron in fucking jail yet?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:49 | 3525576 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

"Banker"? "Lie"?

Naw, c''re puttin' me on.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:50 | 3525579 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

That bitch needs to have the Nanking treatment for what she has done over the years.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 09:19 | 3526319 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Death by a thousand slices, or rape by the entire Japanese armed forces?

Or both?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:52 | 3525583 Manthong
Manthong's picture

ok.. but Jamie says it's why he is richer than us..

and that is a good thing, right?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:54 | 3525585 Me_Myself_and_I
Me_Myself_and_I's picture

I saw people at Wells Fargo reconfigure the process by which checks were processed in order to cause more checks to bounce and thereby rake in millions in additional bounced check fees.

The bank eventually settled for hundreds of millions of dollars on the lawsuits.

Not one of the people who architected the grand scheme was fired, demoted, etc.  Management, their reports, and those underneath them are still there, despite adverse effects on shareholders and customers.


And that was in business & retail division, not investment banking.  For a bank that's considered to be the Boy Scout of the industry.


For JPM, this is by no means a stretch.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:58 | 3525894 Kiwi Pete
Kiwi Pete's picture

Just like 9/11. How many got demoted or fired for that fuck-up?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:50 | 3526158 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

You presume it was a fuck up...

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 02:58 | 3525592 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

I propose that we release immediately All Gitmo prisoners and replace them with the Entire US CONgress in order to kickstart the PROGRAMME. Watching those bastards bent over in chains is just the starting tonic we need. Root out the confessions which will come quickly and commence with the hangings.
Do you think we should operate a No Fly Zone prior too?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:02 | 3525597 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

The worst they did to rating agencies that caused tens of millions to lose their jobs and trillions to be lost... a fine... and a small one at that... no one in prison... and they are still in fucking business!

S&P, Moody's and Morgan Stanley paid USD 75mln each to settle crisis-era suits

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:07 | 3525605 Aquarius
Aquarius's picture

"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand
our banking and monetary system, for if they did,
I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning."
-- Henry Ford
(1863-1947) Founder of Ford Motor Company

"The wages of the average American worker, after inflation and taxes, have decreased 17% since 1973, the only Western industrial nation to so suffer."
-- Martin Gross
Source: "The Tax Racket: Government Extortion From A to Z" 

"Our federal tax system is, in short, utterly impossible,
utterly unjust and completely counterproductive,
[it] reeks with injustice and is fundamentally un-American...
it has earned a rebellion and it's time we rebelled."
-- Ronald Reagan
(1911-2004) 40th US President
Source: May 1983, Williamsburg, VA 

Ho hum

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:18 | 3525613 KashNCarry
KashNCarry's picture

Blythe being blithe. She dares someone to pry her cold dead finger off the sell button...Patsy?  No Blythe!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:41 | 3525636 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

Patsy?  No Blythe! No Patsy (Cline)



Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:33 | 3525628 mt paul
mt paul's picture

she would look good

dressed in seal skin ..

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:13 | 3525813 i-dog
i-dog's picture

... then set loose in Newfoundland for the seal hunters to club her senseless. Mmmmmm....

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:44 | 3525639 Dr.Vannostrand
Dr.Vannostrand's picture

IF this starts to go anywhere, I'm going to venture to guess there
will be a distraction. Crisis actors...unite!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 05:27 | 3525681 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Non-farm payrolls.

Coinciding with that number, and on a Friday?

Not looking good for justice.

However, fate is another matter. Fate is in the hands of the rest of the appropriately self-interested world including China, India, Russia and the rest of the gold-buying remainder of the planet.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 05:01 | 3525690 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

H2N9, delivered by black swan.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 04:05 | 3525641 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 03:45 | 3525643 Mr. Hudson
Mr. Hudson's picture

: "But what we hope for is that there is at least a brief period of time when Blythe's finger is not be on the gold "sell" button...because we are simply curious how high gold may go should JPM's commodity queen finally be put away temporarily... or permanently."

So, the real purpose of this article is to give the wounded gold bugs some hope. Who cares what the price gold will climb to, since none of us will ever sell it? Not only will we never sell our precious family members, we all need to start giving a lot more love and attention to our gold; just as I have been doing. I talk to it and read it bedtime stories. I also caress it, and call out to each of my gold bars by name. I had some of my gold bars call me “Daddy!” My heart then melted…like gold.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 04:29 | 3525655 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Wounded gold bugs?

Real-world contributions for the good of humanity stolen vs financial and political bullshit thievery resulting in misery for middle-class first worlders and starvation for third worlders.

You just don't fucking get it, do you, man?"

-PVT Taylor, Platoon


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 05:33 | 3525715 auric1234
auric1234's picture

Would you be wounded if something you want to buy goes down in price?

Imagine you wanted to buy some food and suddenly the price of food collapses spectacularly. Everyone is talking about the lower food price.

Would you be wounded about it, or would you celebrate?


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 09:30 | 3526385 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Mr. Hudson, spouting a non sequiturd, said:

So, the real purpose of this article is to give the wounded gold bugs some hope.

Made me laugh.

Not only will we never sell our precious family members, we all need to start giving a lot more love and attention to our gold; just as I have been doing. I talk to it and read it bedtime stories. I also caress it, and call out to each of my gold bars by name. I had some of my gold bars call me “Daddy!” My heart then melted…like gold.

This guy has a weird anti-gold boner. Must be a sock puppet of Squiggy Fromm. Next thing you know, he'll be posting lamericks praising Blythe Masters.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 11:53 | 3527195 Mr. Hudson
Mr. Hudson's picture

My dear sir,

The gold bug virus has caused some to become bitter and has destroyed their ability to laugh at a joke. In other words, you need to lighten up, dude! (I'm pro-gold, btw).

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 06:06 | 3525654 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Yup - it's all in the name folks.


Blythe = Blithe =Showing a casual and cheerful indifference considered to be callous or improper.

Looking forward to seeing her, once she get disbarred,  doing a gig and getting all "callous & improper" on ouch!  

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 04:10 | 3525660 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

C'mon Blythe... who names their kid BLYTHE for fuck sakes???. Were you raised on a factory farm by the Rockefuckers?

Does your vagina still work at your age Blythe? Do your tits hang loose like the balls on a moose?

You sick excuse for a human being. You wretched cunt virus. You are the female version of a "mercy fuck".

Good luck with the rest of your life... what's left of it.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 04:16 | 3525664 akak
akak's picture

Her vagine hang like sleave of wizard.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 04:23 | 3525669 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

She is like my seester, she is tight like a man's anus.


Fri, 05/03/2013 - 05:33 | 3525716 captcorona
captcorona's picture

Say what you want about Blythe Masters ethics, but I'd hit that like an Empiral StormTrooper hits a tree on Endor!

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:13 | 3525940 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



"Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss."


You hit that and you'll get hit with one hell of a bill.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 07:41 | 3525867 YHC-FTSE
YHC-FTSE's picture

Many mistook her labia for balls. Hence her rise at JPM.

As others have posted, doubtful that she will go to jail. Knows too much as head of commodities,  and it'd be far cheaper to hire some "cleaners" than lawyers to defend her if it ever got as far as a trial. Less publicity too.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 04:17 | 3525666 Catullus
Catullus's picture

What exactly were the "schemes" that FERC is alleging?

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 08:51 | 3526161 Vooter
Vooter's picture

We're going to make them up as we go along, which is EXACTLY what these vermin deserve. Enjoy!

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