This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Friendly Reminder: CNBC Viewership Plunges To Eight Year Lows

Tyler Durden's picture


Update: we decided it may be an opportune time to remind readers of this particular fact... not opinion, not propaganda, not insinuation. Fact, which apparently has forced a once informative medium, and now purely propaganda infomercial, to stoop so low to be in need of trolling websites to generate incremental eyeballs.

* * *

By now it is well known that the ubiquity of central planning (not to mention the persistent threat of HFT flash crashes as exhibited by yesterday's twitter-driven #Hash crash) in capital "markets", has made trading stocks in a rigged casino a sucker's game - one that retail investors have decided to shun, and nearly 5 years after Lehman have still to come back in any size to the stock market.

One of the main, unintended consequences of this development to prop up markets at all costs, even if it means removing all logic and reliance on fundamental data, has been the complete evaporation of interest in any finance-related media, forcing the bulk of financial outlets to rely on such cheap gimmicks as slideshows, pictures of kittens, trolling and generally hiring liberal arts majors straight out of school to copy and paste articles while paying them minimum wage, and providing absolutely no insight (and then wondering why the Series ZZ preferred investors will never get their money back, let alone the A round).

However, nowhere is this more obvious than in the relentless imploding viewership of once financial media titan, CNBC, which lately has become a sad, one-sided caricature of its once informative self, whose only agenda is to get the most marginal Joe Sixpack to dump his hard-earned cash into 100x P/E stocks, and where according to data from Nielsen Media Research, the total and demographic (25-54) viewership during the prime time segment (9:30am - 5:00 pm) just tumbled to 216K and 40K - the lowest recorded viewership since mid 2005 and sliding.

So why the relentless collapse in CNBC viewers, which in turns leads to plunging ad revenues (aside from our observations from last summer on just this topic) and which has forced the station to even resort to muppets as a cheap ratings-boosting gimmick? Perhaps it has something to do with outbursts like this, where 13 minutes into the clip, one Jim Cramer tells the camera point blank when discussing daily market gyrations, and with absolutely no remorse, that "i want everyone to play that game at home by recognizing that fraud is part of the equation and the government cannot stop it."

That's right: on one hand CNBC's most overcaffeinated anchor admits that the market is nothing but uncontrollable fraud, and on the other he beckons viewers and listeners, usually with the assistance of assorted bovine sounds, to "buy, buy, buy."

Perhaps the greater fool is truly dead, or simply the embedded hypocrisy of the CNBC stock "infomercial" is so transparent that nobody really cares what the Comcast subsidiary's paid entertainers have to say any more.


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:31 | 3540448 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then you punch them in the face.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:36 | 3540466 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

Who is interested in watching official State propaganda?  How is CNBC different than North Korea's media? 



Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:43 | 3540490 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Maybe if one or two take it in the ass live on air..


Will that help?


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:47 | 3540499 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

Virgin airways is introducing see through tops...maybe CNBC should do the same?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:54 | 3540522 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

that's about virgin trains, but i would commend virgin atlantic for pushing see-through tops, as frankly, their planes are incredibly ordinary


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:00 | 3540529 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Sadly, Bloomberg TV is actually worse if that is possible. Between the pompous Bowtied buffoon or the high pitched nasally Emily Westworld Chang  BBG has devolved into a facebook/Apple/ and whatever is the stock of the day infomercial when it isn't laying the foundations for the tiny perfect Mayor's eventual run for the Oval office. 


But at least it's free to watch online  but then you get what you pay for.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:01 | 3540556 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

it's free to watch online.

so are the stock and FX recommendations made by goldman sachs.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:39 | 3540680 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



Ironically, looking at the above-chart, it appears that CNBC would benefit from another market crash...



Wed, 05/08/2013 - 11:10 | 3541163 fourchan
fourchan's picture

hft's killing the retail guy will do that to viewing.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:05 | 3540572 philipat
philipat's picture

So what about a ZH Cable Channel to tell the truth?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:10 | 3540592 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Would be great to see, but it would have to be a subscriber model - you're not going to get any advertisers by telling the truth.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:14 | 3540609 new game
new game's picture

half of the viewership is banks lobbies; da-really, like fuck this in the ass.

hey joe-blow-KERNEL BRAIN - FUCK OFF...

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:16 | 3540615 Manthong
Manthong's picture

if i f'd with the "market" anymore, i would short google..

idiots just blew their brand to pieces

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:16 | 3540613 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

GBTV is looking to add talent...

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:18 | 3540619 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Capital idea my friend!  Who cares if the drop-dead ZHTV money-honeys understand what they are reading or not in those golden cheerleading outfits....

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:31 | 3540657 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

i love zh as much as the next guy, and certainly spend my share of spare time on this site, but with all due respect, zh is just as biased as cnbc, but just the opposite direction.

one should never get all his/her news from one source.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 13:51 | 3541835 ShankyS
ShankyS's picture

Only if they bring back Marla!


Still looking for the app. 

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:55 | 3540523 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

CNBS = Joseph Goebbels wet dream!

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:55 | 3540530 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture the numbers include

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:42 | 3540707 max2205
max2205's picture

ZH Financial news network....nice ring to it

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:01 | 3540550 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Why not? It definitely boosts sales.

As a young tad I worked a beach bar and the owner tried having the waitresses wear sheer tops (no bra).

Sales went up about 40% and stayed there. The tips almost doubled. Any waitress grumbling ceased.

 Ta-tas are a winner.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 11:54 | 3541355 scraping_by
scraping_by's picture

Stews are wage-earners; every dollar increase goes to the bosses.

Now, if there was a wage-differential, a skin bonus, then we might be talking...

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 13:34 | 3541687 Diet Coke and F...
Diet Coke and Floozies's picture


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:47 | 3540500 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

Becky Quick does what ever Buffett maybe. 

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:52 | 3540515 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Are you suggesting that Becky would strap on?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:56 | 3540534 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture






Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:04 | 3540570 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Follow the FED. Inflate.....the cleavage

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 11:32 | 3541264 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

Sara Eisen would . . . and did


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:39 | 3540691 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Becky Quickie and the rest are impressed by big money. Rather than being objective and hard-hitting CNBS has become pump channel 1 and Balloonberg is pump channel 2.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:00 | 3540547 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

Show your tit's Mandy.... More Cowbell...

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 11:12 | 3541174 fourchan
fourchan's picture

oh that stupid accent.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:04 | 3540571 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Becky Quike getting oral cream pies from all the guests in the morning, ratings would go to infinity and beyond.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:10 | 3540595 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Bukkake Becky

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 10:25 | 3540922 Dealer
Dealer's picture

Bartiromo has a great set of DSL!

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:13 | 3540605 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

While opening a can of soup with those teeth of hers...

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 12:46 | 3541558 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

OOooooo!  Good idea!  Do we get to pick?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 14:16 | 3541959 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Maybe one of the Tylers (the one in Miami?) can get a ZH spot and go tete-a-tete with Cramer?

Monetary & Fiscal OCTAGON, baby!  In the Blue-pill corner we have... and in the Red-pill corner we have...

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:49 | 3540508 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

It's insufferable.  Both CNBC and Bloomberg Radio have become informercials for stocks.  Absolutely 0 value.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:56 | 3540533 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

cnbc were continuously blabbering about "great value" and "undervalued equities" back in 2008-2009 - ie, it's always sell-side, never actually taking an objective side at bull vs bear

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:00 | 3540537 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

who is this cnbs and bloomberg that everyone talks about? I must check my TV's channel block status...

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:00 | 3540546 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

it's a little known fact that cnbc were formerly known as "amazing discoveries" and used to run on late night TVs in the 80'es.

tar? ink? rust? iodine? didi7 gets rid of them all!

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:58 | 3540540 Cdad
Cdad's picture

According to The BlowHorn[CNBC], it's all Tyler Durden's fault.  

Wild swinging round house punches, catching nothing but air.  If anyone was on still on the fence regarding The BlowHorn, Joe Kernan made all things abundantly clear this morning. 

Way to go COMCAST!  Way to ship shape that dying network...that you...errrrr....bought.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 10:13 | 3540881 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Coming up with the name BlowHorn was genius Cdad. Thx...

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 13:55 | 3541844 ShankyS
ShankyS's picture

I believe the term is "Digital Dickweeds" LOL. 

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:42 | 3540709 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Quite sickening.  Your brain can only take so much of the BS before you start to look new or information which looks be factual.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 14:20 | 3541975 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

"It's insufferable.  Both CNBC and Bloomberg Radio have become informercials for stocks.  Absolutely 0 value."

Actually, as an engineer (good with numbers, right?), all you have to do is "Follow the money trail".

"If it pays, it stays.  If it don't, it won't".  You can quote me on that.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 17:37 | 3542650 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

So, is there an ETF for dilithium crystal futures?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:02 | 3540558 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

Or there's Comedy Central.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 10:07 | 3540839 oddball
oddball's picture

Not so funny is the fact most drones get their dose of propaganda from that network.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 11:20 | 3541214 Shevva
Shevva's picture

Na Waldens pushing tech stock at least charlie had a real job.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:24 | 3540642 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

How is CNBC different than North Korea's media? 

CNBC has the freedom to fuck the people of this country by way of incessant propaganda. North Korean media is coerced into fucking the people of their country with misinformation.

Ultimately people get fucked one way or the other.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 11:01 | 3541112 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

maybe CNBS will need a bailout of their own and the fed will come to the rescue, since debt = money

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:36 | 3540471 HeliBen
HeliBen's picture

Sure this post has nothing to do with this morning's buyfest punctuated by the Tyler is an idiot jab on CNBC. BUY BUY BUY!!!

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:38 | 3540472 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Then you punch them in the face.


If it's your first gotta fight.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:52 | 3540517 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

You'd think with Dow 15k, more people would watch them than watch porn.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:58 | 3540539 Alpo for Granny
Alpo for Granny's picture


FUCK YOU CNBC! You asshats giggle and mock and laugh at us physical gold and silver buyers when your bullion bank cronies crush the price. You point at the April 2013 metals charts and say "told you so" and ignore the completely fake stock, bond, and housing markets. You lie with every breath you can muster for your corporate masters and it is totally transparent as evidenced by the above chart. Yeah...well go ahead and try to BTFD on your viewership now assholes.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:20 | 3540632 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

If some other channel just had a blank screen with stock tickers running across the bottom with no commentary it would have a larger viewership than cnbc. Someone should jump on that.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:30 | 3540656 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

If they had cartoons playing above the tickers it would become a most watched channel.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 10:21 | 3540906 pods
pods's picture

They couldn't show Wile E Coyote go off the cliff.

Everyone would question why he falls but the "markets" do not.


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 11:05 | 3541137 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

if they allowed those unemployed 25-40 or whatever bracket to have a split screen where one side was CNBS and the other was call of duty then ratings would go thru the roof

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:59 | 3540543 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I'm very happy that no one watches these blowhard bullshit artist fluffers for Wall St criminals!

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:41 | 3540704 Clayton Bigsby
Clayton Bigsby's picture

I'd be very interested to see the above charted against the S&P....

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 10:35 | 3540988 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Could not happen to a more MARXIST network.They have ZERO creds w/anyone in the know.Evidently folks are sick of the LibTardation Stations.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:34 | 3540457 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Never has a network more needed a guy like Mark Haines than CNBC does now.  I loved that salty bastard blowing up people's "beautiful story" business models.

Joe Kernen might be the guy you have a beer with but he comes off as a lightweight too often.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:41 | 3540474 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Mark Haines was okay but I remember this clearly.

 - I changed the clip. Wrong clip before sorry.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:10 | 3540588 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture




I think Haines was tapping into the fact Gold was not a front burner concern for J6PK, possibly giving Shiff the opportunity to explain why it is or could be.


May he rest in peace. 

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:13 | 3540607 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I am not going to trample on the guy because he certainly can't defend himself now, and may he rest in peace. But I will leave it at, If you are right I would have hoped he could have went about it better.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:01 | 3540553 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

If he was buying the beer I might have a beer with him, then steal his girlfriend.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 10:17 | 3540893 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

You're going to steal Andrew Ross Sorkin?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 12:50 | 3541582 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!  Taterboy with a three-run Tater....out of the park onto Waveland Avenue...

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 10:22 | 3540910 Henry Hub
Henry Hub's picture

***Joe Kernen might be the guy you have a beer with***


Kernen is relentless at pushing the corporate message, a pure propagandist. And I wouldn't have a beer with some guy who pimps his kid to sell a book!

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:34 | 3540458 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

The last phase of the bubble is when even its proponents realize it's a bubble even as they shill it to the end

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:43 | 3540489 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

Dr Benway .... the sign of a true ponzi.  The 'true believers' will defend them even to the moment the command to 'fire' is given to the firing squad.


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:58 | 3540538 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

nah, it's when people get on it because "they can't afford to miss it". they never realize it was a bubble until it's imploding.

unless it's gold, of course. then suddenly the entire media become experts. it's almost as if there's some sort of agenda.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:33 | 3540462 machineh
machineh's picture

They could gain 10,000 viewers by making Liesman wear a paper bag over his ugly mug.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 10:51 | 3540504 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

I was thinking more like a dildo super-glued to the forehead

- the financial guru unicorn

or better yet one on each side of his bald head - they would wobble and flop around as he moved that bowling ball shaped head. 

- the financial satan


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:01 | 3540552 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



I'd like to see Andrew Ross Sorkin and Maria Bartiromo host a two hour discussion with panelists Antal Feteke, John Williams, Peter Schiff, and Reggie Middleton.  I'd prolly go to the studio for that melee.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 10:14 | 3540882 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

Better a tight plastic bag. 

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:34 | 3540463 FormerTurbineGuy
FormerTurbineGuy's picture

If they had any brains, they would sell this unprofitable Boat-Anchor to Glenn Beck's the Blaze and rename it the Blaze Financial and make it 24/7 that would rock Bloomberg's world. Now that team would get-r-done and make a real network out of it. Keep the Money-Honey and Santelli, as far as the rest of them to coin the Donald, "Your Fired!".........

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 12:55 | 3541601 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Cripes.  The Glenn Beck Financial Network? 

"Buy from Goldline.  OBAMA's A COMMIE AND EATS THE FOUNDERS' LIVERS FOR BREAKFAST AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!  Did I mention Goldline? - They're a sponsor."  


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:35 | 3540464 22winmag
22winmag's picture

If CNBC and other corporate mouthpieces were presented on paper at least you could wipe your ass with it.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:35 | 3540465 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

Wow, CNBS is losing viewership almost as fast as the Republican party is losing participants.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:44 | 3540492 HD
HD's picture

If the GOP doesn't stop the online sales tax they might as well get DNC donkey "tramp stamp" tattoos and be done with it.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:03 | 3540507 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

Look closely, that tramp stamp tat has been on so long it's already starting to blur.  Ever since they agreed to give stuff away for 'free' and promote enormous government only to prolong self-serving careers.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:10 | 3540590 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

pro bailout republicans are not republicans

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:21 | 3540612 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

Indeed.  And therein lies a very painful problem:  the Republican Party is flush with non-Republicans.  Meanwhile, true Constitutional warriors like Gary Johnson and Ron Paul are torpedoed by the Leviathan.  

'The centre cannot hold...'

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:32 | 3540658 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

The dems and reps already have tramp stamps on their backs that are eerily similar: an eye in a pyramid and a dollar sign inside a penatgram above Alfred E Neuman saying "Who Me?"

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 12:57 | 3541613 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

...makes a good target for the Banksters they bend over for after the pull-out...

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:36 | 3540468 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture


Keep up the good work. Kernan dissing you is a sign of major progress.

Time is on your side

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:42 | 3540485 machineh
machineh's picture

Tyler probably paid for that plug.

His dream is for CNBC to sponsor 'two minutes of hate for Zero Hedge' every day!

Whack us again, Joe ... harder!

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:55 | 3540526 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

It's actually possible. CNBC whored themselves out and let Fox news steamroll them with ad's on their own channel.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:45 | 3540496 HD
HD's picture

What did Joe have to say? 

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:53 | 3540520 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

Nothing. Gratuitous hate.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:20 | 3540629 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I didn't hear it but I'll bet it went something like this:  If you listen to the doom-and-gloom idiots on ZeroHedge you would have missed this entire rally since the March 2009 lows.

Am I close?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:50 | 3540742 Dr. Venkman
Dr. Venkman's picture

Kernan acted like he did not really know who Tyler Durden/ZH was. Who's that guy, from that movie, that is now a bunch of guys? Nice try. Sorkin was pretty much like -- please don't poke the bear across the picnic table.


(Yes I watch in the AM for the releases, have done so for a decade, and enjoy, apparently, being part of a very small club)

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:35 | 3540469 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Marginal viewers want to see a train wreck market, not a bunch of smug fuck snake oil salesmen all smiling and happy.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:36 | 3540470 Diablo
Diablo's picture

Saw the ZH mention earlier.

Hey joe kernen, youre an ignorant fucking dolt.


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:07 | 3540582 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

kernan and the msm are dinosaurs

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:39 | 3540475 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Seriously, how could anyone, even if you are completely illiterate pass time watching an impish clown like Cramer? He is such a jackoff, a complete train wreck of a human being. At least a few of the women have decent hooters like Drury and Carbrera. And that crew of jerkoffs that is on early in the mornings is really pathetic. Some middle aged smartass named kernan, a punk yuppie and of course the financial retard Squickey pumping the Buffett meme. Not a critical thought amongst them, like Hey Warren aren't you really just a crony capitalist?

The amount of bankster semen that's gets swallowed to keep this station on the air is incredible.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:50 | 3540509 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

the financial retard Squickey pumping the Buffett meme.


That thar is eight funny words.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:08 | 3540583 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture


That last sentence does not go with morning coffee AT ALL.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:18 | 3540622 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



good for the skin though.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 13:42 | 3541791 Temporalist
Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:39 | 3540476 lotusblue
lotusblue's picture

No reason for violence.

Most recently we see misinformation,outright lies,superfulous fluff,non business reporting,self-serving guests and,the list goes on and on.

CNBC has long foregone reporting business and news.Self destruction is in offing.

Bloomberg is shifting same direction also.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:41 | 3540573 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

And Bloomberg, the mayor, is a cunt, pumping millions into politial causes in ripe states (gun control etc in Colorado).  The network is probably ahead of CNBC in direction seeing as he probably has a strategy to undo any remaining freedoms he feels get in the way of 'what is best'.  Can't wait til he runs for President...and he'll take the fools in NY for 93% of the vote.   Can we finally admit that New York is for assholes.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:39 | 3540478 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

The money honeys are all dried up.  No wonder the bees are all dieing

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:40 | 3540482 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

I like the hot asian anchors on the international segment that airs at night.  Also, the blonde from Australia who anchors the Australian show.  Need more of that and less of the clowns.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:48 | 3540503 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

that oz blonde who hosts the oz show is an empty bottle head..probaby cleans her teeth with something shoved up her rear :)

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:41 | 3540483 HD
HD's picture

We ZHers may not be able to stop the money printers, the lies, the endless manipulation or the theft directly - but we sure as hell can turn off CNBC and not visit the propaganda website.

For those who can't help themselves from watching the CNBC train wreck, at least make sure your cable box is on another channel when your TV is off.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:42 | 3540486 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Since we know that there are CNBC producers and/or behind-the-scenes hacks following ZH, I'm curious to see if they will post some anonymous rationalization or just sit quietly in the fetal position and tweak their resumes.  And I wonder further if they ever contemplate the fact that they are willing contributors to a propaganda war that has sentenced the country and the world to a protracted, worsening depression and, ultimately, the full brunt of bankruptcy.

What say you?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:59 | 3540542 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

Not to mention tryannical debt slavery and death, ala Hunger Games.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 13:01 | 3541638 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

I'd pay to see that....(in FRN's)...

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:44 | 3540493 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Lots of people no longer have 401Ks or stocks to worry about, so why watch?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:14 | 3540608 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



Yeah, but they do have the NINJ requirement to flip a house.


Oh, wait.  HGTV has it covered.


won't See Ya Later CNBS!

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:47 | 3540501 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



Wow, this is one sentence:

One of the main, unintended consequences of this development to prop up markets at all costs, even if it means removing all logic and reliance on fundamental data, has been the complete evaporation of interest in any finance-related media, forcing the bulk of financial outlets to rely on such cheap gimmicks as slideshows, pictures of kittens, trolling and generally hiring liberal arts majors straight out of school to copy and paste articles while paying them minimum wage, and providing absolutely no insight (and then wondering why the Series ZZ preferred investors will never get their money back, let alone the A round).

FWIW Zerohedge: you are the new finance-related media, and God Bless You TOO!!

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:51 | 3540510 vinoverde
vinoverde's picture

It could be that most of their anchors that were saying or asking anything interesting have died (Haynes) left (Insana) or been moved on out (Ratigan).

The article makes a weak case, the graphic is not explained, and what Cramer says is true, he is not saying the market as a whole is a fraud, which is the article's tone. It is impossibly costly to remover all fraud, yes.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:52 | 3540518 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture


Are you insana??????

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:51 | 3540512 Brokenarrow
Brokenarrow's picture

Got a serious hangover.....damn.

Maria, the queen bingo caller, of cnbc has a husband that owns and runs an etf company. How objective is she? His former job was running a penny stock hedge fund that blew up after it was discovered that his positions were all marked for purposes of generating that 20% fee.

cnbc is toats. One more event on wall st., and they wont be able to give away stock free. And cnbc will cease to exist.

I try to figure out who is their biggest, most lying pumper. I think it's a toss up between Kernan, Bartaromo, and Sue "Chubby Cheeks" Herrara.

I NEVER watch their show, even with the sound off. And, don't think for a second you get financial news faster from them then the internet. Twitter is the game now.

Of course, all the cnbc rats got rich helping wall st rob the publc.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:11 | 3540594 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

Well put! I will feel a little remorse when Santelli gets let go but I'm sure he'll land on his feet.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:52 | 3540513 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I hope CNBC play the on air dispute between Carl Icahn and the JCP dickhead for an hour today while they try to figure out what else to talk about.

Tyler I hope you leave this as the top article from here on out.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:57 | 3540535 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

I'm waiting for Carl to whip it out with a tape measure and challenge a measuring contest.  I'll be watching Becky's expression since she likes the smell of old money.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:54 | 3540524 MilwaukeeMark
MilwaukeeMark's picture

How dare you try to impose reality on people. Think of it like MTV for gen Y, Comedy Channel for college students getting their politics, or Jerry Springer for the trailer folk to understand interpersonal relationships.
The Muppet investors deserve their own network. It's their right to be just as misinformed as everyone else.
I think somewhere in the constitution it even says this.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:55 | 3540528 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

I wouldn't watch either, but the knob on the turret tuner snapped off back during the dot-com crisis.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:56 | 3540531 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

what's a tv?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 08:59 | 3540541 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

CNBwho again??

Don't watch CNNobody either.

Hey, I know! maybe J6P is waking up... took long enough.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:00 | 3540549 Keynesian Mess
Keynesian Mess's picture

We Canadians are a little luckier with BNN. They try to achieve a little more balance although it's sometimes hard to find guests that have a realistic point of view. The guest pool is swimming with shills, but Berman is excellent, Sprott and Shiller guests are good, and once in a while we'll be treated to Rosenberg.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:06 | 3540577 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

LOL you are right just look at how Canadian equity markets have underperformed the rest of the world - they must be objective

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:03 | 3540560 TwoJacks
TwoJacks's picture

CNBC should be rooting for financial turmoil.  Look how viewership rose during the '08 crisis

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:06 | 3540578 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

If we're reading charts does this mean we are 3 years from said turmoil??  Aye Gawd, I don't think I can palate the thought..

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:03 | 3540562 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

CNBC anchoerettes are more over the hill than this fakeass 'rally' they're humping 24/7.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 11:12 | 3540564 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Television is incredibly odd to me.

When you can see immediately whether or not people are lying, the entire shadow show takes on a ghoulish and surreal air. People often mistake it for lizards or psychosis; it's just the effect of not realizing you're watching actors and being told it's real. Take the test. If you get 18+, you're on the right track. If you get lower than 10, for your own safety, don't watch TV.

Oh, and this isn't a conspiracy theory, it's a well known fact:

In a bizarre television and spatial anomaly on CNN this morning, the blanket coverage of two true-crime stories led two news anchors to conduct an odd "satellite" interview from the very same parking lot, background traffic and all.-[source May 7th 2013]


Admittedly, they've gotten a lot better at it than the Gulf war days were the faking was amateurish (remember homeboy, he's the talent there). With green screen technology (e.g. Stargate Studios) the sky's the limit.


People weren't lying to you in the 1970's, although they didn't win.

If you need a quick and dirty test to see if you're really bonkers, they exist. No need for lizards, just take the test to reassure yourself. Then permanently switch off your TV, and do take note the internet is full of the same traps.

Dubbed the “Policy Violation Checker” in the patent filed May 2, the system would identify “problematic phrases” in documents like emails or other online documents run on Google’s Drive like presentations. But it’s not limited here. Google envisions the program being run through mobile devices, televisions, set-top boxes or other processors. [source]


There's currently two versions of this thread? One has 300 odd comments, this one has only 60 odd. How very very strange.


[edit ~ regarding the word "fake" over that CNN broadcast from the Gulf war. I'm not claiming it wasn't made in country, but the point is the attitude of the anchorman. He clearly does not believe in anything he's saying, and he clearly is self-aware of it and contemptuous of his intended audience (it's also rather sad to see his own internalization of self-loathing expressing itself as arrogance and snapping at "minions" to enforce the hierarchy, but there we go). It's got to the point where even your own (admittedly left wing) fictional series dissect your own "real" media. [see here]. Tip: All the media does it]

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 13:54 | 3541843 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

13, paid too much attention to the wrong part of the face.  very revealing test to discover one's cogdis, indeed.   

figured out Charlie Chaplin test right away, but that's cuz i was diggin the music.    can't wait to play that track WICKED LOUD with a massive subwoofer.

the ears must have it :)

one back at ya, (and a clue to the rest who wants to score high on the test)


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:04 | 3540565 JP McManus
JP McManus's picture

I only watch to see what kind of slop they're trying to feed J6P.  Months (or weeks) ago it was, "QE is NOT the reason for this rally." And today ol' BQ comes out with "How to pick stocks in a QE4eva world."  WTF?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:04 | 3540567 horot
horot's picture

Meh, who gives a rat's ass about CNBC. FARTiromo is a big turn off anyway.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:05 | 3540574 Shevva
Shevva's picture

They love you in Singapore.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:05 | 3540575 muleskinner
muleskinner's picture

When I first saw a Cramer fiasco on CNBC, I asked myself, "Who is this clown?", but that was probably 15 years ago and I stopped watching CNBC probably 6 years ago or more now, but it was great to see Maria jump the shark everyday at market close.


Now and then I see a clip on the web, but for the most part, I never watch it anymore.  A CEO that I know spent 75 grand to make a guest appearance on CNBC, probably around 1994. 


The CNBC of old was a better channel with the likes of Gerry Spence and other programs that were less financially oriented in content.  There used to be more there.  I suppose they could go back to the old programming model and might gain more viewers.


Easy to ignore CNBC nowadays.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:08 | 3540584 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Come on Maria, flash em just one time. That'll get your ratings up.

It's either that or paying the next winners on Dancing With The Stars to show up and tell everyone they never would have won if they didn't buy stocks.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:12 | 3540599 CcalSD
CcalSD's picture

We forget the fact that CNBC now has direct compeition from FOX Business... I'd watch it if CrapWarner carried it.

Muppets 4 life

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:21 | 3540633 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

Fox is evil, more evil I think than the other MSM dreck, you want the BS Bankster is it.

Though, Lori Rothman is truly hot.   


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:13 | 3540603 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

Do we think that maybe ZH has something to do with the CNBS viewership cliff dive?

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:13 | 3540604 digalert
digalert's picture

I found ZH because of CNBS. It was early 2009, Obama had been recently appointed ruler, people were desperate for financial information after the crash. The economy was not getting better. Obama was not a savior, never will be. I realized CNBC was lying. I never looked back. F*ck you Comcast, CNBC and your endless propaganda.


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:18 | 3540620 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Fuck me, I've forgotten exactly how I first found ZH.  We should have a thread for that sometime....although it is a bit campfire-y. 

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 13:46 | 3541809 Ljoot
Ljoot's picture

Dennis Kneale, when he was still on FNN CNBC, clued me in on Zerohedge. THANKS DENNIS!!!


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:14 | 3540610 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

I seriously can't handle watching five minutes of the propaganda anymore. I'll turn it on to see the ticker but will mute it every time invariably because of the bs show that it has become.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:16 | 3540616 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

There should be an app for this...'CNBC CrateRatings'

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:17 | 3540618 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

TV is for suckers and zombies who watch instead of act. TV is the great pacifier...for babies of all ages.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:18 | 3540621 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

Bloomberg is just as bad. They have to dye the JAP hair blonde, but we still know she is a Jew from the ridiculously dark eyebrows.

Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:22 | 3540636 observer007
observer007's picture
Visualized: How Syria was cut off the internet



Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:22 | 3540637 bonzo112358
bonzo112358's picture

I used to watch CNBC in the morning but now I enjoy reruns of Married With Children on TBS.  Even they understand banking better than the hosts do.


Wed, 05/08/2013 - 09:23 | 3540638 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

In 2009 (check the charts), Amanda Drury wore a shiny blue ruffled top that received criticism for its plunging neckline, and lent itself to visible proof of the ongoing fabric shortage. CNBC responded by replacing her plunging necklines with plunging ratings...

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!