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JP Morgan Has Zero Trading Losses In The First Quarter
Earlier it was Bank of America reporting a perfect trading quarter, with profitability on 60 out of 60 trading days, and now it is JPMorgan's turn. Moments ago, Jamie Dimon's firm filed a 10-Q in which, among other things, it announced than in the quarter ended March 31, it was profitable on 63 out of 63 trading days and had one day in which it gained more than $200 million, or said simply another case of trading perfection unmatched anywhere in the known universe except perhaps by sellers of newsletters on Twitter. It was not immediately clear why JPM got a freebie of three extra profitable trading days in the quarter compared to BofA, although we suspect Jamie Dimon's presidential cufflinks may have something to do with it. What is clear is that the probability of one firm trading without error for an entire quarter, let alone two (and soon more as other banks file their 10-Qs) is slim to quite slim. Although not nearly as slim as whoever the hot chick is on Dancing with the Stars this season, which we are confident is the only thing the bulk of the population cares about. For everyone else, there's E(rror free)-trade.
Going further back in time, we find that JPM had a winning trading accuracy of:
- 84.3% in 2012
- 89.6% in 2011
- 95.0% in 2010
- 83.9% in 2009
This compares to Bank of America's:
- 97.6% in 2012
- 85.6% in 2011
- 90.0% in 2010
- 88.0% in 2009
Or, since 2009, BAC's winning trade hit rate is somehow even better than that of JPM, at 90.8% compared to 88.9% for the firm that is in charge of Tri-Party repo. The chances of this occurring, considering the traders at Bank of America (including those from Merrill) are the butt of every joke on Wall Street and certainly far inferior to the traders from a firm which until the London Whale assumed it had an unlimited balance sheet, are also slim to quite slim.
Perhaps related to all of the above, and for those curious if the recent reports of regulatory action against Blythe Masters will lead to anything, this is what the firm had to say about its ongoing legal entanglement with FERC:
FERC Matters. The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (the “FERC”) is investigating the Firm’s bidding practices in certain organized power markets. In March 2013, the Firm received a Wells-type notice that the FERC staff intends to recommend that the Commission bring a possible enforcement action against J.P. Morgan Ventures Energy Corp. (“JPMVEC”), JPMorgan Chase & Co. and certain Firm personnel relating to alleged violations of FERC rules and the rules of certain independent system operators. Additionally, in November 2012, the FERC issued an Order suspending JPMVEC’s market-based rate authority for six months commencing on April 1, 2013, based on its finding that statements concerning discovery obligations made in submissions related to the FERC investigation violated FERC rules regarding misleading information.
The first to figure out what a "Wells-type" notice is (a Wells notice that is not really a Wells notice if one has presidential cufflinks perhaps?) gets a tour of the JPMorgan gold vault. As for anyone harboring any hope that Blythe Masters may spend even a minute in prison, your chance of seeing the JPM gold vault first hand is equally high.
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They are excellent at what they do.
Enron used to be good like this, whatever happened to them, did they change name to JPM
wow, these guys are almost as good as DC politicians are at investing and trading.
Like shooting fish in a fucking barrel.
Got a hunch they are skinning one hell of a lot of muppets ...er, pension funds...alive.
That's why Jamie has more money than you. He even told you so.
This shit needs to end.
Fine.
I made a video for ZEROHEDGE
Dow 15000 Now. Dow 20000 Soon. Who can fight the beast?
http://youtu.be/qSPnipe3reU
How long before we see ads in the wee hours of the morning imploring us to buy JP Morgan's six CD set, "Learn to trade the Jamie Dimon way".
If not that, maybe we'll get links in ZH posts redirecting us to work from home processing JPM's successful trades. We'll read how someone's mother's sisters cousin made X dollars by using the Jamie Dimon trading system.
'A Wells-type notice' doesn't disrupt the algorithms, I guess.
I watched it and liked it. I'm pleased to see you are from TX.
Enjoyed the video - perhaps on your next one, you could slow down the pace of the images. I wanted to read the captions on each one. Had trouble listening and looking at same time, but that could be my special issue.
NewThor said:
+1
Good job.
I was sort of expecting it to end with a musical outro using this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bjx0VtIl7Ns
When you get free money from the FED. How could you not make money?
That's about as surprising as a hooker with crabs.
That's why they all shave the kitty these days, it keeps the crabs in the ocean.
And don't forget Madoff! He had an unmatched winning streak. We jsut need to follow around uncle Warren and everything should be good.
they also used to create subsidiaries, loan them money, then list that as assets on their books. I wish I coud be that successful. I think the only thing Enron and JP have not done is kidnap girls and lead them around the backyard in dog collars, but I can't be sure
At this point, they are all just rubbing our noses in it.
The sec would be at your door if you hit 100%. But not the ultimate insiders. This shit is fucked up man
And here was I believing that Prop Trading had been banned. Perhaps they meant "Hedging client positions". According to Blythe "We don't take diectional positions. It would be wrong and we don't do it".
Spooky, its as if all trading is now done by computer, human error removed................... that's ridiculas!!
Insider trading makes you a genius.
Well, when you're the one who's running the Three-card Monte game, you damned well better know which card is the queen.
Is this clean P&L, Tyler? If not and it includes market making P&L, you would expect to be profitable well over 90% of the time, especially for a diversified IB.
Of course this relates (mostly) to their market-making activities, discretionary plays a very small role (a la CIO office...). Not hard to be constantly profitable when youre buying on the bid and selling on the offer, especially in which case for illiquid assets YOU dictate what they are exactly. A shame that readers outside the industry won't understand this.
Moregaine: Guaranteed to prevent trading loss on 63 out of 60 days..
Buying the bid means: I name the price, then I pay it.
Selling at ask: I sell for the asking price. I do not sell at the price you are bidding = aka market value.
What you are saying is they fill the orders, they manipulate the market, and they take the best 'deals' for themself, right?
Yeah that was my interpretation. Which makes this the whole article seem shrill.
The irony is that the more you force IBs to shed prop risk (ala Volcker), the more you would expect to see daily revenues approach 100% positive.
That's weird cause Jamie told me that being a genuis is what makes you an insider trader
They know how to eat the face off a muppett, no doubt...
These guys are the biggest crooks to ever walk the Earth.
Close. That honor goes to none other than Ben Bernanke...with Abe/Koroda trying to move up and take that title from him.
As always, thank you Ben Bernanke for this wasteland you have made for us, for destroying return on our savings, and for helping DC and giant crony capitalistic companies break the back of the true employers in this country...small business. Oh...and hell of a job there...destroying the purchasing power of your currency, too.
Let's indict/citizen arrest him and prosecute him in Jackson Hole, cowboy style. Yee-haw!!!
Do it and lets all see how quickly you get Dzhokhar-ed™
So what? Better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
I totally agree with you as long as you ensure that you actually die. Being tortured and eventually suicided by the feds isn't the way I want to go out.
"biggest" is just a term inflated by the inordinate growth in M2
The Squid for the Trifecta?
You are kidding, right? Goldman will be profitable on 65 out of 63 trading days.
Huh? That's not right...there is two extra days in there...impossible...you'd have to create th...oh wait...sorry...they're doing Gods work...laws of time and physics do not apply here...
My apologies.
Well isn't it based on what you intended to do?
"I meant to lose money today." or "We lost money in that stock so we lowered our risk."
May I ask the tinfoilhatquestion: why doesn't their advised clients have a result close to their's, close, such as +/- 5%?
Who do you think is on the other side of their trades?
Your retirement fund.
B"H! Ghost from space! It is time Alan. Last we spoke I was first and you were last. Now I am the last of my kind of our species, we evolve en mass in 2052. 40 years, oh the dimensional parralels!
I have tools ready for quantum computing King of Israel. Since your first, the Son eagerly awaits meeting you. And dont be sad for not recognizing your Son at first. I chose to evolve and that choice requires pain.
I have the plan to show you and I need a board advisor/chairman for our company. But first we have some private matters to attend to such as restoring your honor and splendor. No servant of such caliber deserved the humiliation you suffered.
You await my coronation but my coronation will wait 9 months. This is your coronation good Sir. I'm on my way, see you VERY soon. jrines@ragingdebate.com . 603-953-3388 :/)
"To be or not to be , that question is irrelevant" some things just ARE
I am
I AM also. "to be or not to be" socratic logic 2*2 fractals + 1 (random variable set) = 5th dimension . Oh boy is the world going to be so happy!
I take Muppets for 800, Alex.
That reminds me of the old joke; a Wall Street worker takes his little boy to town to see the lower end of Manhattan Island; and he points out the NY Yacht Harbour, telling his son, and that's where the brokers keep their yachts, son"; and the little boy asks, where do the customers keep their yachts, Daddy?. This question has never been satisfactorily answered.
I'll answer that SAT 80" . The client yachts are in the 4th dimension where infinite dreams are made.
Hedging!
Rigged.
Not so hard, really, that 63 for 63 record...if you are simply buying and selling equities between yourself and your offshore self. No probs.
Way to go, Wall Street! You have destroyed your own industry. For all you folks still clinging to your cubicles at JPM or BAC...good luck with that.
Cdad: I, like many, am a huge fan of yours. If only you could tell us when it all finally falls apart.
I'm shocked, SHOCKED I tell you!!
Reminds me of that twilight zone episode, where the man ends up in hell and never loses in poker. We're already in hell.... I just wish I was at least that man.
You dont realize how close to the truth you are. This "place" we're operating in is a dream, a script. The 4th dimension is what people think of heaven. It is myriads superior to our 3d existence but all dreams turn to "shit" eventually. This 3d is real from all physics measurements but our twist is we (mankind) get to stop WW3 and digitize the necessary conflict into global competitive games. And one HE/"LL of a party afterward!
will somebody kill a fucking banker already!!!!!!!!
What good is killing the banker when what you really need an EMP to kill the algo?
Which one(s) deserve it Kaiser? Justice is a double-edged sword. Live by the sword, die by the sword..
now i understand why they give all the children trophies........no one ever loses any more
It's like Lake Woebegone, where "all the children are above average".
I must say that I do find it amazing that the TBTF banks only win 90% of the time. 99+% wouldn't have surprised me the least.
They have to leave SOME leeway for failure - or else ALL the 'muppets' will think the game is rigged and NOBODY will play...
63-63 or 60-60......JPM is clearly the harder working corporation
of course they better go 100% each quarter, as it will take only 1 day , to wipe out all those winning days
Hillary Clinton, is not impressed
the HFTs with any losses recorded are in another "subsidiary" warehouse in Jersey....SHHhhhh...!!
FERC matters.
There's a few Irish posters on this board who will immediately get this one.
FERC that s#!t...!!
'oly feck!
When you win every day, you get to make shitty puns in all manner of places.
Watch out for it; although you have to consider the humor level is often that of a 13 yr old horny boy. The old boys sigh and roll their eyes, and open up their Socrates, while the spooks run number ciphers in the crossword puzzle in the Times.
The internet has rather exacerbated this issue, although it does allow for a useful labeling of "conspiracy theory" if you see something you shouldn't. You probably don't want to imagine what happens when algos get their teeth into it.
SHODAN is free to play with, I'd imagine the hidden war is somewhat more exciting; or perhaps it isn't, and the non-plugged in are lagging as far behind as the people who still believe that reciting the Oath of Allegiance every morning at school defines their society. HB Gary did get owned so very, very, very badly, even if his research was correct in V&ing those pranksters. Sad days when the FBI locks them away, and doesn't just employ them like what used to happen guvna.
When you drive your best to suicide, you've admitted the Empire is broken. I'm fairly sure there's a classical lesson where the victors of an Empire spared the lives of the most brilliant of their enemies and used them to good measure. Must have been in Ancient Greece or Rome, methinks. Rome stealing all the decent Greek ideas comes to mind, sounds a bit like China.
Nothing exists in a vacuum, despite what the narrative tells you.
why dont they announce, that they are winning 110% of trades?
with their leverage, such IS possible
I'm making a note to myself to never go fishing with a Bankster.
They would probably bring along a fish in a bucket and just start beating it with a club.
You should go fishing with a bankster...Just bring a big burlap bag to fit over the banker, and weights to fill it and a rope...then it will be fun....
Funny, was pondering the use of "living" chum while fishing for great whites.
Madoff never lost either.
Corzine was brilliant making $1.6 B disappear.
What difference does it make?
LOL! That's just wrong. On so many levels.
Goes along with their ZERO morals....FUCK YOU JPM, BAC, GS and the rest of those fuckers!
You put your finger on it there. Born of the 80's, an entire socioeconomic class of people that has no sense of right or wrong, duty, compassion...just the almighty pursuit of dollars going into their own pockets. Souless, you might say.
Go Wall Street...and be sure to build those walls high around your gated communities.
It's amazing they never think what kind of impression this makes. Wouldn't it be better to publish something a little more "toned down"?. I guess they really don't care what anyone thinks; or maybe they're just sure no one does.
They are confused doing circles lost in the darkness and require being led out of the wilderness.
If I was allowed to naked short a market in which I held major positions, if I knew what the Federal Reserve was going to do, and I was able to frontrun all trades using HFT algorythms, I could have done very well too.
Don't forget you get to do it with free money too.
Not taking losses is a big problem for JPM, as we all know. Whale trade.
While most Americans are struggling hard to overcome the hardships of the recession, the profits of national banks continue to rise. JP Morgan is among those cashing-in ... and it's a contract to process food stamp payments that's helping it on its way.
http://homment.com/jpm-foodstamps
Who said centrally-planned [financial] economies were a thing of the past?
Forwards!
Al Capone never had a loss either...until he did.
Undertakers make a "killing", and they always end up on top.
I'm still waiting on Goldman to get investigated in their shenanigans in the power market.
We can complain and sarc about it all we want... nothing is ever going to change.
We need to band together and phyically remove these people... that's the only way.
There's always this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmSSVt7Mfkk
The sad irony is that Hollywood is so tied up with CopyRight law and lack of decent ideas, they're remaking it. Given the lack of current satire, it's going to suck balls. And probably won't even unleash robots on Detroit which is ZZzzz.
But who needs Satire when the reality is immune to it?
if u can't beat them join them. JPM is trading near my estimate of the stocks intrinsic value and they just increased their dividend from .3 to .38/ share. Get your shares today.
you are of the cocksucking variety
Obama transparency.
Playing a game of waterfall in the paper (gold) market against the longs must have been a blowout day
.
That's it?
I've have no trading losses for over 5 months
And unlike them I can guarantee no trading losses through the end of the year
Suck it JPM
BAC... JPM...
So, who's the sucker that lost?
Haven't you been paying attention? Nobody loses. Everyone gets a trophy. Welcome to your brave new progressive world, where everything is sunshine, lollypops, and unicorns. Until it isn't.
Forward, bitchezz!
wtf... then where's my trophy.
Got gold?
From Harvey Organ today......
Over at the comex gold is departing as investors are frightened to death of a confiscation similar to what happened at MFGlobal or Refco. Tonight, the Comex registered or dealer gold rests at 1.858 million oz or 57.16 tonnes. The total of all gold at the comex rose just above 8 million oz at 8.001 million oz.
Also at the comex, we saw another customer withdrawal of gold from JPMorgan to the tune of 57,863.091 oz. They now have only 137,377.04 oz left in its customer account.
This just proves that Wall Street is a casino, and that the big banks are the House. And as every bettor knows, over any extended period of time, the House always wins.
Hot damn! That is one helluva record, i better drop a whole bundle of all the excess cash i got lying around on that little venture. or even better just copy their stragedy, i mean, with them kinda predictions how could i lose?
"Whale-uva job, Jamie" is the new "heckuva job, Brownie".
Amerika!
Fuck yeah!
It is good to be king. Or JPM , or Goldman.
So for every winner at this trading game, there is a loser. WTF would be stupid enough to play against those odds?
That sounds like a confession.
I've been playing the "trading game" on horse-racing/sports betting using Betfair since 2000. I've made far more than the average wage in that time, although diminishing to a point where I'm wondering if it's worth continuing. Over that time I've had numerous attempts at the JPM type of trading game. I've been burnt everytime, and sometimes badly! So yeah, you could say it's a confession of sorts.
I sure hope - for your health - that none of you take this stuff to heart any more.
I stopped really caring somewhere around 500 S&P points ago.
Americans have a different set of core values, and not listed among them are any serious issues. A story about an NHL game received over 30 comments within 20 minutes last night on our local paper's web site, while a story on health issues stemming from our area's pollution received four comments in the first three hours.
There you go. Why kill yourself over this shit? Accept it, and move on.
Glad to know there are the clairvoyant among us (you) with the capacity to make such awe-inspiring generalizations. (In case you don't understand adult-speak, that translates to 'since you don't know jack about people's values, why don't you just return to the fetal position in the corner'). But thanks for playing.
No generalizations, dipshit. I don't know jack about people's values, as you say. Do you even examine those around you and your surroundings?
It sounds like I touched a nerve with you. So, did your favorite team lose last night?
I don't consider this to be a game, so I don't think I'm playing anything - but you, that is.
There aren't five people perusing this site that have the same set of values, yet you find it within yourself to come to the conclusion that Americans have a different set of core values, and not listed among them are any serious issues
Enlighten us as to what your basis is for that? Take your time..
You know absolutely nothing about my core values or the next person's, never mind that of an entire nation. I was just pointing out that inarguable truth. If you meant something else, then perhaps try a refresher course in English as a second language.
Fine, fucknuts. Have it your way.
Tomorrow, on your way to work, bring up this story, then bring up a story about your favorite sports team (or local, if you are not a fan of any) and see what replies you get on both.
I know what I'd get if I did it. Deer-in-headlights looks about the former, and fanatical, lengthy replies about the latter.
it is a global set of values..men in bars should ot talk about religion, politics or women..
i bet there is a group of people who do give a shit about the issue you raised..maybe the paper isn't a good forum for them..kind of makes you wonder if something as "modern" as a social networking site might get a better response..god forbid its twitter though..always reminds me of seagulls shitting everywhere
@ Tsar-
Hey peterbreath, you got to insult everyone you don't agree with, or is it just a bad habit? You've been here almost 2 years and you haven't gleened any hope that some of us are slowly awakening to the truth?
As far as your idea to bring up to a stranger or aquaintance comments about sports or financial mayhem without them being a friend, they're going to think you're nuts. Not many have the hobby of hanging around financial blogs and studying about it, but that's not the way to break the ice with anyone new.
"Americans have a different set of core values, and not listed among them are any serious issues"
Maybe he meant the average American. Would you disagree with that?
If that's what he meant, that's what he should have said.
Reminds me of the excelent results the Russian commisars got when they stood for election.
The real question: What idiots are transacting with these morons at a 100% win rate. Market makers are owed money over time, but 100% is effing absurd. Corporate America needs to get its effing act together and start doing some due dilligence on these transactions. Its not that hard to learn about basic options pricing and derivatives. I know most S&P 500 corporate guys get a hard on from being clients (aka sliced muppets) of these banks, but come on. Enough is enough. Either know what the hell you are trading or get out.
Even the bookies at my local racetrack lose 20-30% of the time, or they are smart enough to make that claim.
I would at least show a down day or two just to keep the Feds off my back.....OH WAIT.....
correct! and just to get to the actual scale of the gifts from the Fed (the banks don't trade much with each other..it's a straight fiat transfer to rebuild bank "reserves")
8 banks make an average of (say) 75m per day for 60(or 63) days a quarter..
that's 8 x 75m x 63 = 36 billion per quarter or 144 billion per year...see how easy it is to print fiat and pass it to your buddies?
banks are sooooo great though..since they will lend to anyone that can afford to pay a 2% p.a. credit spread plus 1% insurance charges on their mortgage portfolios..no work for them, no need for credit ratings or skilled lending assesments..or god forbid..fairness to clients..
mortgage portfolio x 3% p.a. x 8 trillion...= a free lunch to banks of the odd 240 billion or so..
then we can start on car loans..commercial mortgages...etc etc...great business..killing ghe economy one knife cut at a time..
ponders..if the Fed wanted to bring down credit spreads for retail and corporate borrowers..why didn't it just tell the banks not to charge a spread..it could give them a profit by letting them scale their bets with the fed to give them fiat reserves..bleh
OK Tyler: "A Wells notice is a letter that the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) sends to people or firms when it is planning to bring an enforcement action against them. The notice indicates that the SEC staff has determined it may bring a civil action against a person or firm, and provides the person or firm with the opportunity to provide information as to why the enforcement action should not be brought."
A wells-like notice therefore is a letter the SEC provides when it has no intention in hell of actually bringing an enforcement action, but wants to give the appearance of doing so. It also gives attorneys and banksters the opportunity to laugh.
I want the tour!
won't take long...and in fact...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nVk25ZvTkU
Why wouldn't they win every day? You think they haven't had meetings about this with the Fed? That's the game they put into motion with QE4ever. The Fed takes their shit MBS, and they receive cash in exchange for said shit MBS. That money isn't going into capital reserves or dividends (probably a lot is going to bonuses though) - the vast majority of this newly printed cash is going directly to the prop desk (which should be illegal, but that's another story). These banks know damn well what 'coordinated action' means - it means that between $45B and $85B is going DIRECTLY into the equity market via HFT and dark pools.
The "Flash Crash" three years ago was the "Last Straw" for the billionaire boys club... From that point on the club could not afford free markets, people get the wrong idea when there is Volatility. Rigged markets are the only way to restore confidence and ensure "order" in the system. All the TBTF are in on the game, pretty outgragous that they don't take a loss now and then just for appearances... Everybody knows they are rigging the markets and nobody cares?
It's easy to be this successful when you keep pushing the markets higher.
What would be interesting is to know the value of JPMs and BAMLs long position still stuck in the market that they won't be able to get out in time.
Someone has figured out how high this beast has to go to be able to make a hasty exit.
Remember what happened to the person on his 31st trade after 30 consecutive positive ones?
oh not only is the FED Wink Wink (taxpayer backed printing) funding the High Frequency frontrunning but making the Food STAMP program worth up to 500m for Jamie..... Now we get operations from Long Term Capital Wink Wink I have loved Jamie since Smith Barnie days ( you remember Solomon and Warren days?) Nice guys and did great things for the country Wink WinK Cramer and CNBS tell us so...
The fed is doing what the congress won't do because they couldn't pass the legislation and or they'd get kicked out. This place stinks
Direct connections to the Fed's money window & one of its Directors - "that's why I'm richer than you" Glorious fascism. And we thought we beat Mussolini...
it was a beautiful day in the mountains today....
In a casino, the house always wins and in all the electronic exchanges, the too big to fail banksters are the operators. Armed with funds from the FED and using High Frequency Trading softwares and Derivatives, they move the markets exactly where they want it to cause maximum losses to the traders and the hedge funds.
Even if they do make a loss, their budies, the central bankers and politicians are there to transfer their losses to the taxpayers so that they have a 100% success record in transfering wealth to their coffers from rest of the world.
http://www.marketoracle.co.uk/Article40231.html
This will end badly.
For us.
Who knew customer facilitation could be so personally rewarding. And to think some TBTFs complained about the Dodd-Frank bill they wrote themselves !
In my former haunting grounds, the then-junta had a daily mouthpiece rag called "The New Light". Since there was never any real news to report, the front page headlines tended towards unintentional amusement, such as the Senior General cutting the ribbon on a new chicken farm, the official announcement of yet another two-lane paved road, or a warning that the populace should "oppose those relying on external elements, acting as stooges, holding negative views" and to "crush all internal and external elements as the common foe". These slogans were called "The People's Desire", and billboards repeating them were posted all over the country.
My favorite headline, however, would come on days when a nation of similar stature somewhere in the world would celebrate its National Day. On such days---when the government's command of English or lack thereof was most apparent---the headline would invariably be, "Senior General Felicitates the Leader of Country X". It always sounded a bit untoward verging on downright nasty.
All that being said, to felicitate sounds more proper than JPM's facilitation.
Complaints without a solution won't get us anywhere. I encourage everyone to do as I did by passing along this story to the SEC. If they get enough complaints, it just might have a 0.0001% chance of making a difference. It takes less than 5 minutes...
https://denebleo.sec.gov/TCRExternal/index.xhtml
Well if anyone needed any proof that you are the mark and they are the house, this is surely it for any misbelievers that this 'market' is completely rigged. The odds of you being fleeced are now totally guaranteed ALL of the time.