Obama Comments On IRS Witch-Hunt Scandal - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The irony that the 'no taxation without representation' nation's Prime Minister David Cameron is on stage with President Obama amid the IRS-Gate scandal is not lost on us... We are sure the President will distance himself at pace from the witch-hunt - though it could get awkward on stage with the British PM looking on.

 

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Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:16 | 3556221 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Quick send David Cameron a bust of Winston Churchill to present to the president. That would be awkward.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:25 | 3556254 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

how funny would that be...."ahem, i think you lost this...."

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:50 | 3556340 The Thunder Child
The Thunder Child's picture

I never understood why being late made such an impact on my working career. I used to show up late for work in my younger years by 15 min on occasion 30 min and it always angered my employers and on a few occasion resulted in my dismissal. I always made the time up at the end of the day and pointed this out to my employers that no time or productivity was missed but it never helped my position. As my career progressed I found myself in management roles with people under me who showed that same trait.

I suddenly then realized what it was about being late that has such a huge impact on the perception or impression that others precieve of you:

IF I CAN'T TRUST YOU TO BE ON TIME THEN HOW IN THE F*CK CAN I TRUST YOU WITH ANYTHING ELSE!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:50 | 3556347 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Interesting observation.  As a manager, I do care more about what time people come in in the morning than when they leave.

Regardless, it's more about productivity than the number of hours for me but there is somewhat of a negative perception of those who are chronically late to work.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:02 | 3556375 Precious
Precious's picture

Biden got demoted.  Cameron took over the job of looking attentively stupid for Obama.

Listen to this Excuser-in-Chief.  What a fucking worm.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:05 | 3556398 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Just a bunch of white guys getting all wee wee'd up cause we audited them.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:11 | 3556424 robochess
robochess's picture

just a bunch of white guys??? now we have superDORK commenting.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 06:13 | 3559528 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Sorry amigo.....forgot the /SARC.

 

 

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:12 | 3556429 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

It looks like a love fest with David "Yes I'm Gay" Cameron looking all bugged eyed in love with The Commander In Chief of what was formerly known as the American Empire.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 14:24 | 3557098 Precious
Precious's picture

Obama and Cameron are having discussions about the USA joining the EU.  

Goal is the EUSA by 2016, aka, The Atlantic Rimjob.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 20:47 | 3558740 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Oceania uber alles!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 15:48 | 3557480 liquid bullion
liquid bullion's picture

AMEN GZG!  buncha racist peckerwoods gettin mad cuh dey feelin da hurt now! knoe wut im sayin!!  dey idnt kurr wen we was gettin the lashes!

YEA i voted fur OBAMA! AND WHEAT!?!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:11 | 3556422 PacOps
PacOps's picture

A little military service would have instilled the importance of your being on time.  Just sayin'.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:25 | 3556255 Jekyll_n_Hyde_Island
Jekyll_n_Hyde_Island's picture

+1 for humor and effective snark.  ^^ Awesome.  Nice to know someone else noticed that the Admin. gave back an incredibly important historical artifact that represented the gratitude and understanding of the sacrifice of over 100,000 American lives -- because of unsubstantiated rumors that someone in the Obama lineage was a slave at some time to one of the imperialists.

 

  Now watch this joker talk about unity and espouse logorrhea composed by some evil postmodern brilliant gen Y'er speach write.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:06 | 3556407 Precious
Precious's picture

Proof of the pandemic.  Cameron and Obama both have diarreah of the mouth today.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:42 | 3556318 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Why would anyone watch this sniveling cocksucker obama lie? Oh....wait.... the IRS is on the other line

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:03 | 3556389 Precious
Precious's picture

Live from the White House, it's "the Worm"!  He CAN speak without a teleprompter, but only when he's lying.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:02 | 3556391 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

Mr. President, only you can give cross border authority (CBA) to save Americans during this 7+ hour fight, why was this request denied?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:36 | 3556509 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

I was sleeping and Valerie Jarrett knows better than to wake Reggie and I up.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:21 | 3556225 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Ummmmm.....there is always an IRS witch hunt going on. It is called an audit and with the IRS you are legally considered guilty until you prove yourself innocent. That is the law.

This usually means that you "settle" with the IRS regardless of your innocence. It would cost more to fight them than just to settle and pay them off to go away. Remember that each IRS auditing agent must justify his or her existence with "found" money. Their superiors monitor the amount of additional tax money they "collect".

<This is called highway robbery where I come from.>

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:28 | 3556269 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Where do you come from, man? Where I live, the highway robbers would be seriously outraged about that statement.  ;-)

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:29 | 3556270 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

If only we could get public school teachers to operate like IRS agents.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:37 | 3556295 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

"Agent Jones, the randomly selected audits just kicked out the name C. Dissonance but I'm having a devil of a time finding him. Could you pull up his data for me?"

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:45 | 3556329 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"Do you want the publically available data, the private financial data as compiled by the various banks, brokers, credit card companies and other financial reporting agencies or the really good stuff from the NSA/CIA/DOD?" - Agent Jones 

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 15:36 | 3557438 Kayman
Kayman's picture

CD:

And the Tax department operates in the same way all other Government Departments operate; cost is no object. They will spend millions chasing a few hundred thousand, regardless of whether they are right or not. Once some auditor writes a number on a piece of paper, it is as if God, herself, wrote it. They just don't fucking care about other people's lives.

I am enjoying doing less and less, though. Fuck all the parasites.

K

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:21 | 3556238 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Tyler, that "Don't Tax Me Bro" button is rayciss, jus sayin' u know...

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:22 | 3556246 robochess
robochess's picture

that isn't racist, you dork.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:35 | 3556292 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Dork?  Das rayciss.

Ban him!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:01 | 3556376 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

As a card carrying member of the Organization of Dorks, Oddballs and Rubes (ODOR), I find the aforementioned epithet offensive and hereby request all reference to said term be stricken from the record. In addition all members of this community who have used such demeaning terms should be subject to enrollment in a sensitivity training course at the earliest date possible. Thank you!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:25 | 3556257 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

How about "Don't drone me Taxbro"?  ;-)

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:22 | 3556239 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Just Stop working and then the IRS no longer has any power.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:23 | 3556247 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Unless you don't have health insurance.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 13:46 | 3556872 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

ZERO income meets the means test in O'Bamabotcare for having no insurance....for now.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:24 | 3556253 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

A lot of folks are doing that already (not working). Needs to be more than 14% I guess.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:36 | 3556285 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible times. It's 9%.

 

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.

 

COSTELLO: You just said 9%.

ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed.

 

COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.

 

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that's 9%...

 

COSTELLO: Wait a minute. Is it 9% or 16%?

ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work.

 

COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

 

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!

 ABBOTT: No, you miss my point.

 

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work, can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.

 

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

 

COSTELLO: But they are ALL out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work stopped looking. They gave up. And, if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

 

COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles, that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

 

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how you get to 9%. Otherwise it would be 16%. You don't want to read about 16% unemployment do ya?

 

COSTELLO: That would be frightening.

ABBOTT: Absolutely.

 

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means they're two ways to bring down the unemployment number?ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

 

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

 

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

 

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to just stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an economist.

 

COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said!!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:54 | 3556364 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

Obama's other SS numbers are counted as unemployed or out of work?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:59 | 3556380 DutchR
DutchR's picture

Yes.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 14:23 | 3557102 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

Krisp, 

Classic!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:31 | 3556497 irie1029
irie1029's picture

That was great!  

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 15:04 | 3557307 Shevva
Shevva's picture

What's a Gov employee? unemplyed or not looking for work.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:27 | 3556262 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

WTF. WHy is Cameron there?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:46 | 3556335 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Prop

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:18 | 3556452 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

They needed to show that someone somewhere out there still loves Obama.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:47 | 3556557 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Yep - and Bo is at the vet.

Hey, am I the only one who just realized that the dog's name comes from the president's initials? What a fucking egomaniac.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 13:55 | 3556918 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Should have named the dog BS for Barry Soetoro, nice double entendre too.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:46 | 3556551 DosZap
DosZap's picture

WTF. WHy is Cameron there?

 So O can have less time to get hit with a ton of hardballs,about IRS Gate,and Benghazzi Gate,and WHY no official condemnation of either.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 14:51 | 3557252 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

Obama likes what Cameron Lewinski has to offer

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:50 | 3556568 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Because two cunts are better than one.

Or was it you can kill two birds with one stone?

I cant remember....

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:27 | 3556263 grunk
grunk's picture

Did the IRS target Turbo Timmy?

 

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