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What Bloomberg Tells Us About The Whereabouts Of The NY Fed's Traders And Analysts

Tyler Durden's picture


Thanks to the handy Bloomberg surveillance tools, we know that there are 287 current members of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York with access to a terminal. As of this moment an unimpressive 10% of them (29 to be exact) are signaling green (or active) with Kevin Henry still 'grey' (or untracked), although somewhat expectedly, the bulk of the active NY Fed employees are traders in some capacity. While some in the media would suggest this is somehow critical insights that the Bloomberg reporters can use to completely understand what is going on in the world, we question the usefulness of knowing whether Bill Dudley is logged in. With only 10% online - is that a buy, sell, or hold signal for Goldman or JPM? More importantly, perhaps, we would lose the ability to track the whereabouts of such 'real' Bloomberg users as Fukky Tantang, Diane Beaver, and Ludger Poos.

We wonder how many of the green (or red) NY Fed traders below will promptly "go gray" upon seeing their names in print?




Top 25 Bloomberg Names Ever... (via wallstreetjackass)


No, really. From Kikuko Takenoshita's LinkedIn Page:

And more...


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Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:10 | 3555779 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Future unemployment roll call...   okay, okay, just trying to be optimistic...

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:14 | 3555787 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Prediction : the #9 gal named Diane Beaver will always be employed.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:19 | 3555801 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

How many of the above banksters will end up hanging from lamp posts?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:31 | 3555843 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

What..., no Semore Bottoms?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:34 | 3555856 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Bang Dae Ho!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:40 | 3555873 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Wow... I've never seen a terrorist list so out in the open.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:03 | 3556396 nugjuice
nugjuice's picture

Garth brownsword did it for me. I actually lol'd

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:31 | 3556276 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

I don't get it. Bang what?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:35 | 3555860 Stackers
Stackers's picture

So is the NYFed paying $20,000 for each and every one of those terminals ?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:43 | 3555879 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Lt Frank Drebin: Nice beaver!

Jane: [producing a stuffed beaver] Thank you. I just had it stuffed.


ok,childish but very funny :)

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:24 | 3555964 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Yes, but it's ok, they just print the money for the fees.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:41 | 3556531 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

Anyone proud of being a Senior Ethics Specialist at the Rectal Reserve System needs a very severe degree of cognitive dissonance to blind themselves of the total irony of the situation.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:42 | 3555872 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Ufuk Tuna's also at a nexus of juvenile linked in page views, or so I've heard.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:47 | 3555890 MythicalFish
MythicalFish's picture

Hahaha. Hammer Dong is OTT.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:35 | 3555845 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



TD can tell how well (poorly) my portfolio and garden are doing by my time logged in to ZH.  BTW, Sacrilege, what is up with the relationships/contacts functionality?   Does it do anything?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:52 | 3556353 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

What about Bang Dae Ho?

Samsung Securities? Circa 2011.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:20 | 3555817 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Unless of course she gets hitched Ross Smellie and hyphenates her name.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:54 | 3555908 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

They could name their child Ufuk....

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:27 | 3555978 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

That is some funny shit

Ufuk Smellie-Beaver

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:54 | 3555909 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Diane Beaver???  That's Ben Bernanke's pseudonym.


Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:08 | 3555792 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Zerohedgers makes Bloomberg handles/callsigns look amateurish.

Oh, those are their real names...never mind.


Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:23 | 3555825 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

Don't you fucking say that about Kevin Henry!  He saved the global financial system 25 Fridays ago.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:51 | 3555898 MythicalFish
MythicalFish's picture

Kevin Henry, Senior Trader slash Analyst. Sounds like the prop desk of a Ukrainian utility/German Landesbank/Petrobras.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:36 | 3555861 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

LOL, Tyler Durden, 'Pro Troll'

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:07 | 3555781 rajat_bhatia
rajat_bhatia's picture

BLOOMBERG Surveillance. What a Freudian show name !

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:53 | 3555823 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I want to know what ever happened to Bang Dae Ho? Has he gone AHOLE?





Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:08 | 3555782 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

just proves they care only about markets and not real people at all

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:05 | 3555933 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:10 | 3555785 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Only need to levitate into the close.  Log in by noon and buy, buy, buy.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:11 | 3555788 nicoacademia
nicoacademia's picture

mostly trader/analyst online ready for the POMO.


god is must be good to be on the FED's payroll.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:23 | 3555824 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

There is no POMO today.  It is short party time--temporarily  

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:12 | 3555790 Cdad
Cdad's picture

We laugh, but this "market" is so contrived, it won't surprise me if, in the days or weeks ahead, we learn that the lemming "buy signal" is related to whether or not Edward Tittman is logged in...and the "sell signal" that of a green Andrew Shafter.

It would make about as much sense as anything else regarding our dead markets.



Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:16 | 3555806 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

A very simple binary language ("logged in" and "logged out") that can very easily encode complex and multi-layered messages, especially with the added dimension of time.

Next step is line-of-sight, building to building messages, open office window means "1" and closed office window means "0". 

If you have the will to cheat, and hey, the penalty is a slap on the wrist, why not, I suppose?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:12 | 3555791 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture



Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:13 | 3555794 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

where are the PPT guys?  that would be a help

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:13 | 3555796 kaa1016
kaa1016's picture

How is CHETAN DIKSHIT only number 6? I think there are a whole lot of CHETAN DIKSHIT's trading these markets everyday.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:16 | 3555805 Slope of Hope
Slope of Hope's picture

Just a rough observation on my part, but it appears the propensity to stand up for Bloomberg on CNBC is directly correlated with the thickness of their New York accent.  Extra points if they worked for the squid.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:19 | 3555814 Being Free
Being Free's picture

Samantha Smith  Federal Reserve Bank New York - Rotational Analyst

"Rotational Analyst"???  I have a few ideas of what this might be...

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:24 | 3555826 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

Pole dancing?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:37 | 3556297 Conax
Conax's picture

Pivot goil at the coiclejoik

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:19 | 3555815 muleskinner
muleskinner's picture

You know how they lie all of the time


Hire Magal Security Systems to spy on the spies.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:20 | 3555816 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Nice list of available ZH monikers.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:22 | 3555821 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

do we already have the algos programmed to the FED BBG users logged in?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:23 | 3555822 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

And Bang Dae Ho!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:26 | 3555831 ZeroPower
ZeroPower's picture

My favorite still is Anil Bangar. Real person, too.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:26 | 3555834 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Naomi Swallows and Ginger Seaman, your kidding right?


Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:28 | 3555835 maneco
maneco's picture

At $20'000 per annum for the Bloomberg terminal subscription that works out to a $5'740'000 bill for the FRBNY! Oh I forgot they can just print that!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:15 | 3556213 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Each terminal came with a free box of hollow points for the Federal Reserve Police force. Bloomberg's Integrated Control Systems package deal.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:28 | 3555838 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

If Ludger Poos in Diane's Beaver it would be a Fukky Tantang.

Gustavo Cunto LOL.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:31 | 3555844 GraveyardSpiral
GraveyardSpiral's picture

Well, if the little RED dot, to the left of their names, signifies anything it must be that those are the highest paid!!!!!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:32 | 3555848 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

Completely lost my shit at "Ufuk Tuna". Thanks for the Monday morning lulz, Tylers!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:35 | 3555859 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

I find the information that Bloomberg terminals allow you to create troll accounts hilarious, and oh-so-human. The fact they're all 13 yr old male humor is somewhat of a tell though. Oh, wait. They're real? The lizard men from Mars are here, and they're immature as hell.

This is a fun resource to run many of the names through (won't work on Asian honorifics I think). Some need sponsoring, so there's plenty of room for some mischief. Cunto needs a definition, for one.


This unusual and interesting name comes from an English nickname for someone who habitually wore blue clothes or for someone with blue eyes. The derivation for both is from the Old French "bleuet", a diminutive of "bleu", blue, which in Middle English became "bluet", meaning blue wollen cloth, or "bleut", the cornflower. It was a common practice to create a surname from a nickname in medieval England.

Those sporting such surnames as "Cretin" and "Moron" might be saddened by their heritage.


On a serious note, there is serious research into the "last name effect" and how "How your last name will doom your descendants centuries from now" [WP].


As they say, if it looks like and duck and it walks like a duck...

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:38 | 3555864 ImReady
ImReady's picture

Ellen Golay? Does it get any better than this?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:41 | 3555874 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Mike Hunt and Hugh G Rection aren't on the list.  What happened?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:45 | 3555884 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



I think Jack Knaouff is still a lawyer in Denver.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:46 | 3555888 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

.... Lets take a vote,  who wants to see that list on the Front page of the New York Times / pictures on the back page.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:27 | 3555982 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

Sadly, Dick Fitzwell and Pat McGroin are missing as well.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:35 | 3556291 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

And where's Dick Woodboner and Penny Scunt?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:42 | 3555877 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture



#58  Joseph Lopez - ETHICS ANALYST   ????????????


Is this a joke?

For Whom?


Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:50 | 3555895 old naughty
old naughty's picture

Carolina Fuck (last on list)...

For whom, indeed.



Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:47 | 3555889 Hannibal
Hannibal's picture

Exposing the fraudsters Names, Faces and Addresses is a good start!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:48 | 3555892 frenchie
frenchie's picture

fabienne cretin sounds nice :p

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:53 | 3555906 Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

You have closed my evening with a cathartic laugh, Ludger Poos indeed.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:54 | 3555907 gunsmoke011
gunsmoke011's picture

I think it is safe to rule out selling from your list of FED activity possibilities.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:54 | 3555912 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

Holy shit -  pissing myself.  Thanks for the Monday morning laugh.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:04 | 3555921 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Reinhold Wanka





Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:08 | 3555938 F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

Auntie Zeituni

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:09 | 3555939 Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

With names like those, they must have gone through a hell in schools.  That could be what turned them into what they are today.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:20 | 3555957 fuu
fuu's picture

Everyone needs a 21. WING MAN.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:33 | 3556011 SubjectivObject
SubjectivObject's picture

Mammals On Top

Civilization Spurned

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Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:00 | 3556151 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

Great resource to have for the future call on those who destroyed our country...

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:19 | 3556233 Solarman
Solarman's picture

If you have Linkedin, it is hilarious of the real people with these names pop up.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:46 | 3556337 chancee
chancee's picture

Look at this Fed trader's resume... used to work in institutional sales at Countrywide:

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:54 | 3556362 watmann
watmann's picture

This in paert is why GS and JPM have perfect trading records for the quarter. Lets see the SEC or congress take action. 

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 13:25 | 3556744 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

My first thought whenever I see "news" like this is what is Really going on that "They" want to distract you from noticing.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 13:29 | 3556766 Yen Cross
Mon, 05/13/2013 - 16:38 | 3557793 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

All the names right there!!!

Unbelievable they expose themselves in this careless fashion?

The necklace list!

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!