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What Bloomberg Tells Us About The Whereabouts Of The NY Fed's Traders And Analysts

Tyler Durden's picture





 

Thanks to the handy Bloomberg surveillance tools, we know that there are 287 current members of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York with access to a terminal. As of this moment an unimpressive 10% of them (29 to be exact) are signaling green (or active) with Kevin Henry still 'grey' (or untracked), although somewhat expectedly, the bulk of the active NY Fed employees are traders in some capacity. While some in the media would suggest this is somehow critical insights that the Bloomberg reporters can use to completely understand what is going on in the world, we question the usefulness of knowing whether Bill Dudley is logged in. With only 10% online - is that a buy, sell, or hold signal for Goldman or JPM? More importantly, perhaps, we would lose the ability to track the whereabouts of such 'real' Bloomberg users as Fukky Tantang, Diane Beaver, and Ludger Poos.

We wonder how many of the green (or red) NY Fed traders below will promptly "go gray" upon seeing their names in print?

 

 

 

Top 25 Bloomberg Names Ever... (via wallstreetjackass)

1. KIKUKO TAKENOSHITA
2. MATTHEW WANK
3. CHRISTOPHER FISTER
4. GUSTAVO CUNTO
5. ROSEMARY NOBBE
6. CHETAN DIKSHIT
7. DARIO DIKLIC
8. EDWARD TITTMAN
9. DIANE BEAVER
10. DAVID MORON
11. FABIENNE CRETIN
12. DONNA BUMGARDNER
13. GERHARD SPANKA
14. GINGER SEAMAN
15. KAREN ARSOLA
16. LUDGER POOS
17. ANDREW SHAFTER
18. FUKKY TANTANG
19. WAN KIM
20. ALEXANDRA SUKMAWATI
21. WING MAN
22. DOROTHY CHUNDA
23. DIK BLEWITT
24. JOHN KOKKINIAS
25. ROSS SMELLIE

No, really. From Kikuko Takenoshita's LinkedIn Page:

And more...

 


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Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:10 | Link to Comment LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Future unemployment roll call...   okay, okay, just trying to be optimistic...

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:14 | Link to Comment Rainman
Rainman's picture

Prediction : the #9 gal named Diane Beaver will always be employed.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:19 | Link to Comment fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

How many of the above banksters will end up hanging from lamp posts?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:31 | Link to Comment gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

What..., no Semore Bottoms?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:34 | Link to Comment StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Bang Dae Ho!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:40 | Link to Comment The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Wow... I've never seen a terrorist list so out in the open.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:03 | Link to Comment nugjuice
nugjuice's picture

Garth brownsword did it for me. I actually lol'd

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:31 | Link to Comment Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

I don't get it. Bang what?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:35 | Link to Comment Stackers
Stackers's picture

So is the NYFed paying $20,000 for each and every one of those terminals ?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:43 | Link to Comment Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Lt Frank Drebin: Nice beaver!

Jane: [producing a stuffed beaver] Thank you. I just had it stuffed.

 

ok,childish but very funny :)

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:24 | Link to Comment tmosley
tmosley's picture

Yes, but it's ok, they just print the money for the fees.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 12:41 | Link to Comment Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

Anyone proud of being a Senior Ethics Specialist at the Rectal Reserve System needs a very severe degree of cognitive dissonance to blind themselves of the total irony of the situation.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:42 | Link to Comment Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Ufuk Tuna's also at a nexus of juvenile linked in page views, or so I've heard.

http://de.linkedin.com/pub/ufuk-tuna/42/727/597?trk=pub-pbmap

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:47 | Link to Comment MythicalFish
MythicalFish's picture

Hahaha. Hammer Dong is OTT.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:35 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

TD can tell how well (poorly) my portfolio and garden are doing by my time logged in to ZH.  BTW, Sacrilege, what is up with the relationships/contacts functionality?   Does it do anything?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:52 | Link to Comment Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

What about Bang Dae Ho?

Samsung Securities? Circa 2011.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:20 | Link to Comment IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Unless of course she gets hitched Ross Smellie and hyphenates her name.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:54 | Link to Comment TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

They could name their child Ufuk....

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:27 | Link to Comment Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

That is some funny shit

Ufuk Smellie-Beaver

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:54 | Link to Comment Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Diane Beaver???  That's Ben Bernanke's pseudonym.

 

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:08 | Link to Comment Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Zerohedgers makes Bloomberg handles/callsigns look amateurish.

Oh, those are their real names...never mind.

 

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:23 | Link to Comment Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

Don't you fucking say that about Kevin Henry!  He saved the global financial system 25 Fridays ago.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:51 | Link to Comment MythicalFish
MythicalFish's picture

Kevin Henry, Senior Trader slash Analyst. Sounds like the prop desk of a Ukrainian utility/German Landesbank/Petrobras.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:36 | Link to Comment SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

LOL, Tyler Durden, 'Pro Troll'

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:07 | Link to Comment rajat_bhatia
rajat_bhatia's picture

BLOOMBERG Surveillance. What a Freudian show name !

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:53 | Link to Comment williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I want to know what ever happened to Bang Dae Ho? Has he gone AHOLE?

 

BIG SODA

 

.
NAME TAGS

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:08 | Link to Comment buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

just proves they care only about markets and not real people at all

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:05 | Link to Comment williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

NAME TAGS 2

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:10 | Link to Comment insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Only need to levitate into the close.  Log in by noon and buy, buy, buy.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:11 | Link to Comment nicoacademia
nicoacademia's picture

mostly trader/analyst online ready for the POMO.

 

god is must be good to be on the FED's payroll.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:23 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

There is no POMO today.  It is short party time--temporarily  

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:12 | Link to Comment Cdad
Cdad's picture

We laugh, but this "market" is so contrived, it won't surprise me if, in the days or weeks ahead, we learn that the lemming "buy signal" is related to whether or not Edward Tittman is logged in...and the "sell signal" that of a green Andrew Shafter.

It would make about as much sense as anything else regarding our dead markets.

 

 

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:16 | Link to Comment ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

A very simple binary language ("logged in" and "logged out") that can very easily encode complex and multi-layered messages, especially with the added dimension of time.

Next step is line-of-sight, building to building messages, open office window means "1" and closed office window means "0". 

If you have the will to cheat, and hey, the penalty is a slap on the wrist, why not, I suppose?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:12 | Link to Comment Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

ANDREW SHAFTER

Irony

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:13 | Link to Comment the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

where are the PPT guys?  that would be a help

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:13 | Link to Comment kaa1016
kaa1016's picture

How is CHETAN DIKSHIT only number 6? I think there are a whole lot of CHETAN DIKSHIT's trading these markets everyday.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:16 | Link to Comment Slope of Hope
Slope of Hope's picture

Just a rough observation on my part, but it appears the propensity to stand up for Bloomberg on CNBC is directly correlated with the thickness of their New York accent.  Extra points if they worked for the squid.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:19 | Link to Comment Being Free
Being Free's picture

Samantha Smith  Federal Reserve Bank New York - Rotational Analyst

"Rotational Analyst"???  I have a few ideas of what this might be...

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:24 | Link to Comment Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

Pole dancing?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:37 | Link to Comment Conax
Conax's picture

Pivot goil at the coiclejoik

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:19 | Link to Comment muleskinner
muleskinner's picture

You know how they lie all of the time

 

Hire Magal Security Systems to spy on the spies.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:20 | Link to Comment mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Nice list of available ZH monikers.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:22 | Link to Comment PontifexMaximus
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do we already have the algos programmed to the FED BBG users logged in?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:23 | Link to Comment Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

And Bang Dae Ho!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:26 | Link to Comment ZeroPower
ZeroPower's picture

My favorite still is Anil Bangar. Real person, too.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:26 | Link to Comment the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Naomi Swallows and Ginger Seaman, your kidding right?

 

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:28 | Link to Comment maneco
maneco's picture

At $20'000 per annum for the Bloomberg terminal subscription that works out to a $5'740'000 bill for the FRBNY! Oh I forgot they can just print that!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:15 | Link to Comment DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Each terminal came with a free box of hollow points for the Federal Reserve Police force. Bloomberg's Integrated Control Systems package deal.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:28 | Link to Comment jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

If Ludger Poos in Diane's Beaver it would be a Fukky Tantang.

Gustavo Cunto LOL.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:31 | Link to Comment GraveyardSpiral
GraveyardSpiral's picture

Well, if the little RED dot, to the left of their names, signifies anything it must be that those are the highest paid!!!!!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:32 | Link to Comment 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

Completely lost my shit at "Ufuk Tuna". Thanks for the Monday morning lulz, Tylers!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:35 | Link to Comment Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

I find the information that Bloomberg terminals allow you to create troll accounts hilarious, and oh-so-human. The fact they're all 13 yr old male humor is somewhat of a tell though. Oh, wait. They're real? The lizard men from Mars are here, and they're immature as hell.

This is a fun resource to run many of the names through (won't work on Asian honorifics I think). Some need sponsoring, so there's plenty of room for some mischief. Cunto needs a definition, for one.

Blewitt

This unusual and interesting name comes from an English nickname for someone who habitually wore blue clothes or for someone with blue eyes. The derivation for both is from the Old French "bleuet", a diminutive of "bleu", blue, which in Middle English became "bluet", meaning blue wollen cloth, or "bleut", the cornflower. It was a common practice to create a surname from a nickname in medieval England.

Those sporting such surnames as "Cretin" and "Moron" might be saddened by their heritage.

 

On a serious note, there is serious research into the "last name effect" and how "How your last name will doom your descendants centuries from now" [WP].

 

As they say, if it looks like and duck and it walks like a duck...

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:38 | Link to Comment ImReady
ImReady's picture

Ellen Golay? Does it get any better than this?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:41 | Link to Comment orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Mike Hunt and Hugh G Rection aren't on the list.  What happened?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:45 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

I think Jack Knaouff is still a lawyer in Denver.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:46 | Link to Comment El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

.... Lets take a vote,  who wants to see that list on the Front page of the New York Times / pictures on the back page.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:27 | Link to Comment Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

Sadly, Dick Fitzwell and Pat McGroin are missing as well.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:35 | Link to Comment Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

And where's Dick Woodboner and Penny Scunt?

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:42 | Link to Comment Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

#58  Joseph Lopez - ETHICS ANALYST   ????????????

 

Is this a joke?

For Whom?

 

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:50 | Link to Comment old naughty
old naughty's picture

Carolina Fuck (last on list)...

For whom, indeed.

Funny.

 

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:47 | Link to Comment Hannibal
Hannibal's picture

Exposing the fraudsters Names, Faces and Addresses is a good start!

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:48 | Link to Comment frenchie
frenchie's picture

fabienne cretin sounds nice :p

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:53 | Link to Comment Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

You have closed my evening with a cathartic laugh, Ludger Poos indeed.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:54 | Link to Comment gunsmoke011
gunsmoke011's picture

I think it is safe to rule out selling from your list of FED activity possibilities.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 09:54 | Link to Comment I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

Holy shit -  pissing myself.  Thanks for the Monday morning laugh.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:04 | Link to Comment Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Reinhold Wanka

 

 

 

 

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:08 | Link to Comment F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

Auntie Zeituni

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:09 | Link to Comment Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

With names like those, they must have gone through a hell in schools.  That could be what turned them into what they are today.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:20 | Link to Comment fuu
fuu's picture

Everyone needs a 21. WING MAN.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 10:33 | Link to Comment SubjectivObject
SubjectivObject's picture

Mammals On Top

Civilization Spurned

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Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:00 | Link to Comment LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

Great resource to have for the future call on those who destroyed our country...

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:19 | Link to Comment Solarman
Solarman's picture

If you have Linkedin, it is hilarious of the real people with these names pop up.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:46 | Link to Comment chancee
chancee's picture

Look at this Fed trader's resume... used to work in institutional sales at Countrywide:  http://www.yatedo.com/p/John+Falcone/normal/43ed28f04605d888ac56a86d4194...

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 11:54 | Link to Comment watmann
watmann's picture

This in paert is why GS and JPM have perfect trading records for the quarter. Lets see the SEC or congress take action. 

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 13:25 | Link to Comment roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

My first thought whenever I see "news" like this is what is Really going on that "They" want to distract you from noticing.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 13:29 | Link to Comment Yen Cross
Mon, 05/13/2013 - 16:38 | Link to Comment helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

All the names right there!!!

Unbelievable they expose themselves in this careless fashion?

The necklace list!

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!