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Russia Captures US Embassy Worker In Act Of CIA Recruitment; CIA's "Dropbox" Gmail Address Revealed

Tyler Durden's picture


Following the just concluded recent visit by John Kerry to Russia, one may have been left with the impression that the tensions of the Cold War are dead and buried. Just the opposite it appears. In what may be a well-timed and orchestrated announcement, moments ago Russia announced that it had caught an American, Ryan Fogle, a third-secretary at the US Embassy in Moscow, "red-handed" as he tried to recruit a Russian intelligence officer to work for the CIA. There goes any leverage the US may have had in attempting to persuade Russia to relent on the joint-Western push to "liberate" Syria. Just as Russia, run by a former KGB spy, had intended all along, and just another slap in the face of the US department of state, which lately can't seem to find its way out of a scandal-ridden (and redacted) paper bag to save its life. But perhaps most amusing is that in the attached letter given to the recruitment prospect, the CIA give out the email address to be used to indicate interest in working for Langley as follows: How the times have changed.

Finally we wonder just how the CIA will recruit when the ECB finally bans €500 bills, allegedly used to facilitate "money laundering." Apparently spy recruitment is one of the bullish cases for the reddish banknote.

From Reuters:

The announcement came at an awkward time, just days after a visit by U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry during which Washington and Moscow agreed to try to bring the warring sides in Syria together for an international peace conference.


The Federal Security Service said Ryan Fogle, a third secretary at the U.S. Embassy in Moscow, had been detained overnight carrying "special technical equipment", a disguise, a large sum of money and instructions for recruiting his target.


The Russian Foreign Ministry said it had summoned U.S. Ambassador Michael McFaul over the case and a Russian television station published photographs which it said showed Fogle being detained, apparently wearing a blond wig.


A successor of the Soviet-era KGB, the FSB said Fogle worked for the Central Intelligence Agency and that he had been handed over to embassy officials at some point after his detention.


Diplomats accused of espionage are usually expelled or withdrawn.


"On the night of May 13-14, a staff employee of the CIA, Ryan Christopher Fogle ... was detained by counter-espionage organs of the Russian FSB while attempting to recruit an employee of one of the Russian special services," the FSB said.


"Recently American intelligence has made multiple attempts to recruit employees of Russian law enforcement organs and special agencies, which have been detected and monitored by Russian FSB counterintelligence," it said in a statement.

Pictures of the agent's capture via RT:

CIA agent trying to recruit Russian intelligence officer detained in Moscow (FSB)

Ryan C Fogle, 3d secretary of US embassy, was detained in Moscow by the Russian counterintelligence agency (FSB)

Disguise allegedly used by Ryan Fogle (FSB)

Ryan Fogle inside FSB office (FSB)

Ryan Fogle’s pass to the US embassy (FSB)

Ryan Fogle’s diplomatic pass (FSB)

The handy European bills (each amounting to just under $700) used for recruitment.

And below is the letter that contained the printed instructions for the Russian citizen being recruited.

Expect a prompt retaliation by the US, which now has to expose yet another cell of Russian spies operating in the US just to save face.


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Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:11 | 3559938 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

A dimestore wig? Seriously?

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:23 | 3560006 Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

This is so fucking awesome. LOL

"Atlas Moskva", RFID shield thingy, wigs. LOL

P.S. Send gay porn to

Gmail - monitored by CIA, thanks CIA for confirming. :-)

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:25 | 3560014 Spider
Spider's picture

Shoutout to GMAIL - its now officially CIA Approved!  Think this can inspire a gmail advertising campaign? 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:25 | 3560023 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



The CIA has gone straight downhill since sequestration.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:30 | 3560043 Freddie
Freddie's picture

LOL!  His smile in his photo ID's set off my gaydar a bit.  Maybe it is our gay muslim leader's CIA gay brigade of half wits.   F these people! 

Hope he watched plenty of Queer Guy on CIA TV for decorating tips for his new room at the gulag.

Damn - it is hard not to admire the Russians for exposing these evil morons.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:39 | 3560098 Triggernometry
Triggernometry's picture

Carrying a SOG Flash II and a rite in the rain note pad, but a shitty flashlight and even shittier pen, I won't even comment on the wigs and glasses.  Wtf, CIA, thought you guys had all the great gear?

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:41 | 3560106 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

The sequester led to the firing of Rocky & Bullwinkle... It's been shitsville ever since...

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:47 | 3560141 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture


Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:51 | 3560160 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Has anyone try to email yet????

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:52 | 3560173 Momauguin Joe
Momauguin Joe's picture

Why don't you google it, and let us know what you come up with.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:56 | 3560182 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

This is the post-election “flexibility” Obama mentioned to Putin.  I hope Fogle learns to be "flexible" with his new bunkmates, “Little” Ivan and “White Power” Vladdy.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:21 | 3560307 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

What's the FSB recruitment email address??

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:34 | 3560370 imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

"Fogled" = to be caught commiting espionage in the most obvious fashion

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:43 | 3560433 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

All the good gear and props have gone to DHS.  CIA is left with discount store espionage tools.

I enjoy seeing my tax dollars hard at work.  $100,000 -> $1,000,000?  Wowza!

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:47 | 3560453 espirit
espirit's picture

aka "Jamie Bonds".

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:54 | 3560490 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

After this major setback for the CIA, their new email was updated to

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:14 | 3560574 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

I told him he should have keep the "Groucho Marx" nose and glasses...

But NOOO....

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:47 | 3560457 55 men
55 men's picture

So if i sign 3 people up and they all sign 3 people....sounds like an pyramid scheme

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:11 | 3560564 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

I'm sure you could get Icahn and a bunch of ex-Herbalife execs to run a better operation.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 13:27 | 3561226 Blano
Blano's picture

Or a current Herbalife shill like MDB.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 14:06 | 3561480 Triggernometry
Triggernometry's picture

+1000, Imaginalis, I'll be using it from now on.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:31 | 3560356 TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

100k to sign up, 1M to talk, more for real info.

not a bad gig, where do I sign up?


Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:37 | 3560389 Tortfeasor
Tortfeasor's picture

Who knew the CIA and recently deposed Nigerian Kings used the same letter drafting style?

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:09 | 3560842 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

“You are either with us (CIA/Mossad/MI6/Illuminati),
or you are with the terrorists (patriots/nationalists/truth seekers)” -GWB

The only thing they are trying to keep safe are themselves from us.
Ever since the Zionists did 911, they have been scrambling around, killing potential whistle-blowers, and spying on ANYONE that might pose a threat to their power, and running more false flags to try and take our guns. (Boston, Sandy Hook, Aurora)

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:15 | 3560580 Archduke
Archduke's picture

that's not really the point.
consider it an insurance retainer.

100K is significant enough to be noticed,
thereby hooking you in for future leverage.

1M to switch sides and risk your neck out directly.
100K to become uncle Sam's bitch on demand.

For the really crafty the recruiter will track the 100K
and see if the recruit does a decent job of hiding the
funds, the operations therefore providing even more

if on the other hand the funds are deposited in obvious
accounts. and yet seem to pass local checks without
being red flagged and attracting domestic heat, it would
mean that the recruit has the blessing of the other side
and is a double agent.

add as many layers of double-think indirection as your
head will allow, repeat, lather, and rinse.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:32 | 3560358 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Why didn't the Russians take advantage of the opportunity to place a double agent?

Maybe they were so insulted by the shitty effort on the CIA's part that they figured, we'll never get any useful information out of these dopes. LOL.

Or is there another agenda at work? Opportunities to establish a double agent don't come along every day, the Russians must have had a reason to blow this one up.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:40 | 3560407 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"Why didn't the Russians take advantage of the opportunity to place a double agent?"

Because they already know all they need to know about the papertiger that is the US. hujel

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:16 | 3560586 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Too funny..., and sad.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 13:40 | 3561317 Jack Napier
Jack Napier's picture

Double agents became obsolete once it was discovered that all USG Windoze machines use the default administrator password.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:22 | 3560612 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

Maybe they're ahead of the curve, in that department...

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:25 | 3560619 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Blowing it up makes them look like they're noble defenders against the the shady, dishonest subterfuge of the US. Well played.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 13:55 | 3561412 sushi
sushi's picture

I just bought a new Mac Pro and sent them the reciept. Should hear back in a week. For $1,000,000 I can provide them with an unbelievable amount of information.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:57 | 3560190 fuu
fuu's picture

I went as far as checking anagrams and zerohedge account names.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:11 | 3560260 TheMeatTrapper
TheMeatTrapper's picture

I should send an email indicating that they have been chosen to receive USD $1,000,000 but first they must remit a small processing fee to the United Bank of Nigeria in order to redeem their funds. 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:48 | 3560770 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

News headline, 5/15: Spygate escalates.  DOJ investigates Zerohedge as front for Russia's FSB spy agency.

Their mission was to destabilize the US, by demoralizing the public against own government.  Three Tyler Durden personae arrested.  Ring operated via offshore servers in Switzerland and Bulgaria.  More charges pending.

AG Eric Holder denies false-flag 'retaliation' to FSB spygate, saying that "We've had ZH under investigations for some time, as their site has very detrimental effects on our monetary and fiscal policies, and acts as a de facto enemy-of-the-state."  WH Carney deflects issue, saying it is a DOJ matter.  Nobel Laureate in Economics, Dr. Paul Krugman, says that he is 'relieved' that this has come to a head and that the Fed's sound and innovative fiscal policies can keep the economy moving forward.

ZH site shut down in US.  Many ZH bloggers say they are surprised and shocked.  Said one blogger: "I'm shocked. Shocked, I say!"

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 13:15 | 3561168 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Wrong, ZH is operated by the BIS. The server itself is hosted in Zurich (hence ZH).

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:50 | 3560164 Sofa King
Sofa King's picture

Dude, you forgot to mention the Compass. I almost pissed myself.  A compass, really!!!

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:59 | 3560202 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

CIA uses google mail but doesn't trust google maps.

Would have been classic if instead of a map book on table there were printed sheets from google maps.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:05 | 3560234 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

How 'bout the glasses?  JFC.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:44 | 3560439 Momauguin Joe
Momauguin Joe's picture

How about the three envelopes of freshly printed Euro fiatski notes? Looks like 500 Euro x 100 notes x 3 envelopes = 150,000 Euro's, carried around by one phaggy smiling dufus agent with a boy scout compass and Beastie Boyz wigs.  This story is smelling more and more like bullshit to me...

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:15 | 3560579 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

+1 for Sabotage ref.  This is the best thread ever.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:34 | 3560667 Shitters_Full
Shitters_Full's picture

I knew MCA couldn't be dead!  He's working for the CIA now.  I hope they didn't nab Big Bunny.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 13:29 | 3561244 Blano
Blano's picture

Finest article commentary I've seen in a while on here.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:41 | 3560706 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

For those unfamiliar, the Beastie Boys video that clairvoyantly lampoons Fogle:

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:52 | 3560754 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

my vote for BEST. VIDEO. EVER.

seen the kiddies remake?   another classic.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 14:03 | 3561465 sushi
sushi's picture

Maybe Fogle was just recruited by the FSB and they provided him with the wig, glasses and map. When he accepted the Euro notes the FSB realized Fogle was either A) Stupid B) duplicitous C) stupid and duplicitous or D) Just your average middle class American and so they threw him back into the pond.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:41 | 3560412 Doctor of Reality
Doctor of Reality's picture

Google IS CIA.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:20 | 3560270 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Ryan Fogle must be the son of Emmet Fitz-Hume.

Russian Interregator #1: Why are you here? 
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Why am I here? Why are you here? Why is anybody here? I think it was Jean-Paul Sartre who once said... how do you spell Sartre? 
[soldier slaps him
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Owww... and let that be a lesson to you. 

Spies Like Us (1:13)

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:23 | 3560318 drdolittle
drdolittle's picture

Too many ups to count!

WTF is he using a compass for? No GPS? Too stupid to remember the street names?


Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:24 | 3560321 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

I buy all my spy stuff at the same store he does....Ebay:


I'll never pay FULL price b/c...


I'm a Cheap Bastard.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:56 | 3560186 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You're confusing the CIA with MI6.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 14:05 | 3561479 sushi
sushi's picture

If he was MI6 he would have locked himself inside a duffle bag and self asphixiated. Gives new meaning to the term "Dead Drop."

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:41 | 3560705 Blano
Blano's picture

This HAS to be a diversion.  

Please God let this be a diversion or we are even more screwed than I thought.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:46 | 3561027 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

Money is spent on hookers and blow, not gear

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:43 | 3560112 Badabing
Badabing's picture

you can buy a Testarossa for 50 bucks on Cregslist if you respond to

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:54 | 3560180 XitSam
XitSam's picture

I think the wigs were his personal items. He's a cross-dresser.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:00 | 3560203 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture



.....his photo ID's set off my gaydar a bit.....

GAYDAR. Short for Gay-Radar. The ability to tell when someone near you is homosexual, even if they have given no obvious indications of being so. This is an ability usually possesed by homosexuals and their fag-hags. 
It's like Spiderman and his Spider sense. He can just "feel" when there is danger nearby. Gaydar allows you to "feel" when there is gayness nearby.


I didn't know what that meant - no problem, Urban Dictionary to the rescue.


Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:26 | 3560331 UGrev
UGrev's picture

if you said "Always" possessed, then you'd have something there. However, it is "Usually" which means "most typical" and not exclusive of heterosexuals. Just playin DA here. 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:21 | 3560603 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture



Yeah ...... justa kiddn around, Urban Dictionary is a blast - check out cum dumpster.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:27 | 3560338 drdolittle
drdolittle's picture

Freddie seems a little phobic too.

Remember that preacher that cured himself of homosexuality then denounced homosexuals only to be caught again.

That guy was a homophobe too.

The way I look at it that's more bitches for me. Be as gay as you want, I'll screw your sister.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:00 | 3560511 Freddie
Freddie's picture

My guess is you are so desparate that you would screw your own sister.  When I was a bit younger, I almost had to beat the women off with a stick.  No joke.  I once had to leave a bar because six girls would have had a cat fight.  LOL!  

My guess through most of your life you just would beat off because most women find you repulsive.  

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:21 | 3560893 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

Totally Freddy! totaly dude! I can tell you totaly reek of class! You strike me as more th Ariel castro type that lkeeps your woman tied up in your bunker and preach to her about the end times and give her purity lashings for her own good.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 15:52 | 3561948 drdolittle
drdolittle's picture

Do you like movies about gladiators?

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 19:38 | 3562699 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture



I once had to leave a bar because six girls would have had a cat fight.

Your cover has been blown …. ROFL, nobody here who is legitimate would make that kind of statement ……..


Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:55 | 3560493 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Oh Yeah - Urban Dictionary is the definitive source of knowledge.   Just like Soros Snopes.  What a tard.  The dude smiles just a little too much in his photos.  

He was a poor choice for what he was supposedly trying to do.  I once knew a guy years ago that got iced in the third world who must have been agency.   It had all the markings of it.  He was very low key and could blend into the wall paper.   My guess is he probably did not blend into the wallpaer well enough.  I doubt he would have smile like this in ID photos. 

He did attract women too as I did or do.  I doubt Mr. Boil does.  I also do something about it while Mr. Boil probably could not even get it up with Anna Chapman. 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:35 | 3560669 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture


I don't know why people bash snopes. I occasionally check there when family sends me these crazy emails that just topically don't pass any sort of smell check. Is everything perfectly true? No, probably not. It is however a useful resource.



Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:54 | 3560767 Agstacker
Agstacker's picture

Snopes, the bastion of truth on the internets...

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:28 | 3560641 horseman
horseman's picture

Hahaha!  When I saw that photo I didn't think he was gay but immediately started shaking my head thinking real agents look serious and hard, this looked like a college kid who finally took a trip without his parents.


Tue, 05/14/2013 - 13:31 | 3561253 Blano
Blano's picture

Flounder, only skinnier.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:33 | 3560061 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

First, Obama has to pick his pants up off the floor.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:35 | 3560072 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

Don't you mean Cia-castration?

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:36 | 3560076 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

are we sure that was not kerry's jockey....

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:59 | 3560200 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

Sequestra-castration.  No money, no, balls, no competency

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:16 | 3560289 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

Don't be so hard on the guy. He was just trying to win minds and hearts the good 'ole fashion CIA know, like the Spy who came in from the cold way.....

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:03 | 3560816 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

No Hushmail? OK, the password is a bitch to remember, I'll give them that... ;)

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:10 | 3560844 HedgeHammer
HedgeHammer's picture

Seriously this guy is supposed to be a CIA operative sent to recruit Russians my ass look at this CHILD in the pictures and ask yourselves does the CIA send untrained and unseasoned personnel for this type of very sensitive work. I say no friggin way something else is going on with Kerry's visit in which something was promised to the Russians from the US perhaps. This is a set up all the way something else is going on here.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 13:03 | 3561107 easterner
easterner's picture

"Approved and Protected by CIA of USA!".

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:49 | 3560157 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

Apparently he's been shopping here ...or maybe it's just part of the CIA's corporate gift basket.


Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:06 | 3560832 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

A bag of folded tinfoil for $20.00?  Does it at least come with instructions for making a fancy hat?

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:32 | 3560949 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

If you pay that much for the bag, you won't have much need for the hat...

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:33 | 3560661 Yamaha
Yamaha's picture

Time to call in Dennis Rodman.....

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:31 | 3560943 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

He's only missing the decoder ring - can't see that in the pics...

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 14:43 | 3561642 Mid-Ocean
Mid-Ocean's picture

He carries that up his ass. How else would he escape from prison?

It's a footnote on page 159 in the CIA handbook.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:27 | 3560010 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Well, the rates they pay ($1M a year? +$100K to start? Fuck yeah!) they need low cost disguises, sheepdog.

p.s. Have a couple of buddies, of "significant means", who've said "a million ain't what it used to be"...guess this proves it's so!

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:40 | 3560101 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

The CIA is BYOD now.  (Bring Your Own Disguise).  Two scenarios here:

1) Times are so tough, and the state of our security so addled by ineptitude that we send this smiling ass clown screaming "Look at me!  I'm CIA" into Putin's lair with a wad of cash in his pocket and a sophomoric appreciation of danger.  He now is in danger of losing his life if that hasn't happened already.

2) The story is bullshit.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:42 | 3560110 Freddie
Freddie's picture

They cannot afford a decent disguise due to Sequestration.  What clowns.  Use a Gmail acccount.  LOL! 

Maybe they should offer the Russians 1,000 shares of Google stock to defect plus 100 free trades from eTrade.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:43 | 3560114 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

My kneejerk is to say the story is bullshit. But then I remember khakhis and black shirt guy standing around in Boston and Cowboy hat wearing guy just sitting waiting for his cue....and I think maybe everything we do has just gotten so sloppy and apathetic. Even espionage.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:13 | 3560263 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Yes, and sunglasses guy laying in the sun very comfortably on top of denuded bone guy who is somehow still conscious despite losing 25% of his blood instantly.  Oh yeah and all those amputations, what were there at one point, 30?

The hell with "cloak and dagger", this is "thrift shop Members Only jacket and butterknife" stuff and it's a straight-to-video hollywood production.

What's next, James Bond drinking faux margaritas at the local TGIFriday's with his Mazda in the parking lot - handicapped-tagged, but of course.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:50 | 3560478 Doctor of Reality
Doctor of Reality's picture

I'd be laughing a heck of a lot harder right now if the truths in your post didn't mean our world is in DEEP SHIT! 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:52 | 3560752 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

You should wash down the red pill, it hasn't quite hit your stomach yet.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:00 | 3560801 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture


I'm going to pop some spies
Only got 20 rubles in my pocket
I, I, I'm hunting
Looking for promotion
This is fuckin awesome.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:36 | 3560385 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

I know a retired CIA employee who worked there in the 60s and 70s. He would tell some hilarious stories, the central theme of which were how comically amateurish the agency could be. So this is nothing new.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:56 | 3560494 Doctor of Reality
Doctor of Reality's picture

If so, then maybe all the books and blockbuster movies gave us the IMPRESSION that our world was well managed, and that our respective governments had their citizen's best interests at heart? But when one looks behind the curtain and sees how inept they really are... maybe we conspiracy theorists are wrong? 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:01 | 3560518 Mike in GA
Mike in GA's picture

I hope this is merely some staged event by Vlad to embarass us rather than us embarassing ourselves.

I cannot imagine that a 21st century spy would use 19th century props including a friggin letter in which all details of 'the offer' are recorded.

If this is true, then we are in even worse shape than I thought, and I had no high hopes for my grandkids future country.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 14:44 | 3561649 Mid-Ocean
Mid-Ocean's picture

99% of people are faking their jobs. Why would the CIA be any different?

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 14:44 | 3561650 Mid-Ocean
Mid-Ocean's picture

99% of people are faking their jobs. Why would the CIA be any different?

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:07 | 3560244 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

I think they stole the plot from this:

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:45 | 3560448 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

+100 In fact he looks like those two guys in the desert wearing Izod pastels. 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:18 | 3560297 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture



Or perhaps the real spooks were tired of this wannabe from Foggy Bottom at the mission, so they set him up with their "spy gear" and told him to run this simple op.


Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:42 | 3560423 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

The majority of recent Directors are dumb empty suit bureaucrats from DC. There is no one left that isn't from Foggy Bottom. Brennan is running the place now. What a joke.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:13 | 3560568 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

3) To paraphrase Tyler(s): "Tranny gets monkeyhammered" ..

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:45 | 3560026 Freddie
Freddie's picture

LOL!  F the CIA!  F their Operation Mockingbird aka TV and Hollywood!  F their Kenyan-Indonesian muslim puppet!  He is CIA too.

You losers here watch TV and Hollywood's shit then you support The Matrix. 

The dude looks like a surfer with the wig.  "Whoa dude-comrade where is the waves in Moscow?"    What a joke.   Ass clown.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:05 | 3560239 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Has anyone else noticed that Hollywood thinks that even the janitors at Langley are uber hacker/ninjas? And this guy is on the front lines. Pretty funny stuff. These guys are just lazy office workers who will rat you out when the time comes (see the IRS) but in real espionage are a bunch of clowns.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:08 | 3560245 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

"You losers here watch TV and Hollywood's shit then you support The Matrix."


Judging by your reference to "The Matrix" it appears that you too are one of us losers. 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:09 | 3560548 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

The Matrix, Queer Eye etc.

For someone who hates Hollywood and is the font of all evil, he sure knows about a lot of it.

Maybe it comes standard issue with Gaydar or he hangs at Perez Hiltons site.

He really does need a new schtick.*


* Yiddish word, but Freddie knew that too. His dad was probably a Hollywood producer.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:37 | 3560974 Freddie
Freddie's picture

LOL!  I stopped watching their shit (O Tv and O Hollywood) years ago.  Dad made me turn it off cause we had to go to temple in Hollywood Hills. 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:11 | 3560562 pods
pods's picture

I think that can go in the irony hall of fame.


Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:49 | 3560467 rustymason
rustymason's picture

Steady, Freddie, we're losing you, you're breaking up.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:46 | 3560719 Blano
Blano's picture

"We can rebuild him."

Figure that one out, kids.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:58 | 3560788 pods
pods's picture

Bigger, faster, stronger................

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:08 | 3560836 Blano
Blano's picture

Well done.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:59 | 3561088 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Oscar Goldman?

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:28 | 3560033 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Anna Chapman, please come back. All is forgiven.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:47 | 3560724 Blano
Blano's picture

I tried not to laugh too much as I scrolled down.  You sent me over the edge.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:44 | 3560122 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

McLovin got pinched!

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:26 | 3560334 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Your friends? 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:06 | 3560539 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Yeah! Me and my friend Evan sent him out to get beer for the party and next thing you know, Bam! He is in custody in Russia.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:44 | 3560432 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

This is such an epic embarrassment it almost seemd like a goddamned plant. The US, the cradle of corruption is shooting themselves in the foot, knee, abdomen domestically and internationally.


This fuckin ryan a fogle guy looks to have been the guy who bought my boyhood "hugo the man of a thousand faces" from the garage sale my mom had when I was 11 ( I'm 38 now). IF he had used the fu manchu moustache and eyepatch he probably would have been OK. ROFL!


OF all the piles of dog shit the US has stepped in this may in fact be the most hilarious..

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:27 | 3560922 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

OMG - thanks for the boyhood reference!  I totally forgot about that thing.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 13:17 | 3561176 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


This fuckin ryan a fogle guy looks to have been the guy who bought my boyhood "hugo the man of a thousand faces" from the garage sale my mom had when I was 11 ( I'm 38 now).

Hey, give the guy a little credit. That was Johnson Smith's top-of-the-line spy disguise kit he was caught with. I didn't see the exhaust pipe whistle in the photo, so apparently the Russians didn't do a cavity search.

OF all the piles of dog shit the US has stepped in this may in fact be the most hilarious..

That was fake dog poo that was stepped in (ordered at the same time as the spy kit).

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 11:49 | 3560730 Koba
Koba's picture

THERE IS NO WAY that an English speaker wrote this.  At least one word uses British spelling and the rest of the letter is filled with the typical educated Russian-trying-write-English-isms.  

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:06 | 3560829 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

The article or my response? I was born and raised in Alberta, graduated from university in Alberta.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 13:38 | 3561302 Blano
Blano's picture

I'd say the article, eh?

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 22:15 | 3563194 BigInJapan
BigInJapan's picture

Dude was rocking the compass, too!

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:11 | 3559940 vmromk
vmromk's picture

Have a fun time in the GULAG, ASSHOLE.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:43 | 3560115 augustusgloop
augustusgloop's picture

and PS, that fuckwit jamie dimon sold us all your gold.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:16 | 3559945 FubarNation
FubarNation's picture

I would want to be disguised wearing that shirt as well.  Yuck!!!


A fucking boyscout compass?  Really?

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:13 | 3559948 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Putin & Co. knew about this guy for months, probably.  Just choosing their time to expose him so as to extract maximum pain and leverage.  Russians play chess.  We play checker, apparently.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:15 | 3559960 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

We eat the checkers.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:34 | 3560062 i-dog
i-dog's picture

LOL ... woof, woof!

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:28 | 3560034 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

They released a document with claiming a large $ amt and recurring payments... now every new wanna-be two-bit asset is going to be asking for at least as much... That's just cruel. 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:02 | 3560222 therover
therover's picture

Yup. As Denzel says in Training Day:

 'The shits CHESS, not checkers'.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:23 | 3560317 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Right;  and the way the game is played we should arrest one of theirs shortly - although with this adminstration, no telling.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:48 | 3560462 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Eric Holder will get right on it.






Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:44 | 3560440 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

Go team USA! 

Russians plays chess ... US plays tiddlywinks. It's just that much more of a challenge to flip the chess pieces into the little cup. 

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:14 | 3559953 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Dumbass probably tried to bribe with FRNs instead of gold.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:18 | 3559982 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Now that Cyprus is closed, where would a Russian put $100k of ill gotten booty???

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 10:00 | 3560210 fuu
fuu's picture

JPM, GS, or DB would be more than happy to help with that.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:15 | 3559956 Platinum_Investor
Platinum_Investor's picture

Wow James Bond type stuff.  First scandal breaks that US has been spying on Associated Press for two months.  Now they are caught recruiting for the CIA.  Wow!  I am starting to laugh at this president he is pretty bad and I am not even Amrerican.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:21 | 3559998 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Don't be ashamed that you are not American.  Feel free to show up on US soil and we'll give you free stuff.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:40 | 3560986 Freddie
Freddie's picture

This shit is all a smokescreen.   Obama is trying to distract from the real scandal - Benghazi.  Stevens was CIA and the "consulate" was a CIA safehouse.

These other scandals are designed to distract the sheep from Benghazi.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:15 | 3559958 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Low level, rogue employee, acting on his own.....

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:19 | 3559987 knukles
knukles's picture

Same thing as the IRS and Benghazi

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:22 | 3560005 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Kevin Henry's 3rd cousin on his mother's step-grandfather's half-brother's side.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:36 | 3560078 espirit
espirit's picture

Let's cut to the chase of O's plausible deniability and say:

"I Didn't Know".

The most uninformed Potus will be his history.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:43 | 3560116 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

You stupid good lookings... I'm much too important to be captured...

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:39 | 3560093 Scro
Scro's picture

Damn it, everybody has moved past Fast and Furious. I'm still trying to figure that one out.

This Admin is full of dip$hits and retards, what a joke.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 13:40 | 3561316 Blano
Blano's picture

Cincinnati, Moscow, what's the difference.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 09:16 | 3559963 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

We don't have embassies, we have CIA branch offices.

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