• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Humpday Humor: The Rise Of China's Counterfeit Condoms

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Fake iPhones - who cares? Fake Gucci handbags - spread the wealth? But fake condoms is going too far. As China Daily reports, a underground workshop producing fake brand-name condoms was busted after police found clues on an online marketplace. Police confiscated more than 2 million bogus condoms labeled Jissbon, Durex and Contex. While a knock-off prophylactic is priced at 1 yuan (16 cents), it costs less than 0.2 yuan to produce.

In February, police noticed that prices of brand-name condoms were unreasonably low on one online store, and they bought some products (just to check we are sure). As Bloomberg adds, in April, public health authorities from Ghana impounded more than 1 million substandard condoms, many of them imported from China. “When we tested these condoms, we found that they are poor quality, can burst in the course of sexual activity, and have holes which expose the users to unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease."

The production of the fake condoms was so simple that the 50-square-meter workshop could produce 20,000 counterfeits a day.

Thirty-seven suspects were arrested, and more than 4.65 million fake condoms with an estimated value of 47.7 million yuan were seized in the joint operation.

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Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:47 | 3566124 alphamentalist
alphamentalist's picture

the article failed to mention that they were all size small

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:49 | 3566130 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

BULLISH

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:59 | 3566184 rajat_bhatia
rajat_bhatia's picture

Good for us, more cheaper labor in the decades to come

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:13 | 3566241 Element
Element's picture

Humpgate?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:23 | 3566283 metastar
metastar's picture

A BILLION Chinese using fake condoms. Who would have thought such a thing cound be true??

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:28 | 3566311 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

It explains how there are a billion Chinese.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:20 | 3566498 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

"the article failed to mention that they were all size small"

If they were, and they were selling them in Africa it's no wonder that they were breaking.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:25 | 3566513 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Jissbon?  What kind of confidence would even the real brand give you...?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:25 | 3566757 knukles
knukles's picture

Everything is fucked up beyond repair.
Everything.

could I please have the rat's penis sautee special?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:06 | 3567267 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Jissbon and Durianex engorged story have the interest muchso.

Gives with Jissbon sunglassery image having modness. On Durianex with surveyors have sexs on the Chineses People's Daily "per capita sexual partners as 19.3, while with the most gloomy sex ardour."

Wisdomary on "Chinese view on sex arouses introspection among Westerners."

Can truth exist upon this perplexively?

http://www.danwei.org/intellectual_property/jissbon_condoms_james_bond_a...

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:21 | 3566499 malikai
malikai's picture

Chinese medicine explains why there are over a billion Chinese.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:29 | 3566312 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

He's got the Midas Touch... But he touched it too much... He's 'GOLDSCHMEMBER'...

~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwB0ZJbwmpw

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:18 | 3566264 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

The easiest way to tell if a condom is real is to look at the serial number or company logo on it.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:24 | 3566286 pods
pods's picture

LOL

 

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:43 | 3566377 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

A leak here a leak there and pretty soon you're mistakened for a Catholic or a Mormon.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:30 | 3567338 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Well if someone's going to be a cheap fucker and buy counterfeit condoms, they can at least double bag it.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:42 | 3566373 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Where the rubber meets the road

but the scheme went off half cocked

when they stretched their luck too thin

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:57 | 3566626 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Ah, ah, where rubber meeting roadside and deteriorate in withering stench.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:31 | 3566536 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Apparently most don't have to roll it down that far.  I see the serial number/logo every time. ;o)

Thu, 05/16/2013 - 00:35 | 3567946 hunglow
hunglow's picture

me 2

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:55 | 3566162 prains
prains's picture

fake or not, why can't the chinese build anything that actually works?? it's not rocket science to build a rubber tube that works?? everything they build is built to last less than a minute, the purchase to failure cycle is now measure in nano's. <golf clap>

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:57 | 3566178 pods
pods's picture

Here I was thinking that I was just STRONG LIKE BULL.

Oh well.  <strokes ego>

pods

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:58 | 3566179 Freddie
Freddie's picture

It is all about building things at the lowest possible price.   It does not matter that it works.  As long as the buyer thinks it might work and gets a good price.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:45 | 3566886 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

But, like a Chinese bearing, it has to fit...

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:14 | 3567291 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Sagacity of Confucius recommend the bearinggrease applyment judiciously.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:06 | 3566211 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

Planned obsolescence, taken to the extreme.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:02 | 3566403 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

I've never heard of anyone returning a defective used condom.  The Chinese probably didn't see much downside risk as a result.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:18 | 3566491 Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

I have a stick glue that was made in Japan.  I bought this more than 15 years ago.  And I can still use this.

I had six stick glues that were made in China.  All of them became unusable in less than six months.

Stick glue...  It's such a simple thing. But I guess the Chinese culture is all about making money now, and it shows.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:48 | 3566894 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

US corporations using cheap Chinese labour for maximum profits - has more to do with amrkn "culture" than chinese. . .

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:23 | 3566506 malikai
malikai's picture

Funny, I suspect that machine you are using was built to work for more than a minute. Guess where it's made?

The broad brush doesn't work.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:00 | 3566637 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Chineses do the buildment with provided US citizen 'american' specificationality to accord diligently.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 21:52 | 3567560 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

everything they build is built to last less than a minute

That's all the time I need...so I guess perfectly planned efficiency

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:12 | 3566237 Stuart
Stuart's picture

little wonder why there's over a billion of them....

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:21 | 3566271 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Only + 2 for this?

This is Golden. Beat me to it.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:03 | 3566447 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Demonrat condoms?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:57 | 3566939 killallthefiat
killallthefiat's picture

In reality, this is bullish for China.  They have a population problem (aging) created by the abortion loving and euthanizing globalists.  Once the Chinese overthrow their gubmint, for the benefit of the people, it will be good to have a next generation...non?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:48 | 3566126 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Jissbon. Ya' just couldn't make that one up! ;-)

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:54 | 3566156 bania
bania's picture

They bought out Comegood Inc. last quarter!

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:55 | 3566168 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I hope Marc Faber is not buying counterfeit Jissbon rubbers when he goes to Bang-Cock.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:31 | 3566332 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

should be Jizzban

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:11 | 3566690 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

Jizzbomb, cuz they burst.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:59 | 3566183 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

I only read this article because I was hoping the CEO's name would be Wang or Dong.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:57 | 3566409 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

It was Mr. Long who first reported a problem

but the company said it was his fault

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:55 | 3567402 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Wang Hai lawyer has Jissbon in his eyes:

http://www.globaltimes.cn/business/comment/2011-04/629424.html

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:04 | 3566205 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

Hello my name is monsieur Jizz Good.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:37 | 3566315 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I would have gone with Jizzblock, but that's just me.

Also, I'm pretty sure the condoms in the picture were meant for the export market...unless it's one of those trick photography angles or something.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:56 | 3566427 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

"Man who scrimp on cheap condom deserve 18 years of expensive mistake."

Neoconfucious

 

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:10 | 3566680 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

Jissbon. Ya' just couldn't make that one up!

Jissbon shortening of named originality. Initial nomenclaturizement being Jiss In Lotus Blossom Blooming On Nighttime Propitiously Gives The Containment.

Shorted name the necessity to fit in label with traditional Chinese citizenism packaging thumbnail sized famously.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:49 | 3566131 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

It's a little known fact that the entire 2pm hour CNBC crew are the byproduct of a CNBC holiday party that used these.

Look it up.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:49 | 3566134 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

That's a wrap

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