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Humpday Humor: The Rise Of China's Counterfeit Condoms
Fake iPhones - who cares? Fake Gucci handbags - spread the wealth? But fake condoms is going too far. As China Daily reports, a underground workshop producing fake brand-name condoms was busted after police found clues on an online marketplace. Police confiscated more than 2 million bogus condoms labeled Jissbon, Durex and Contex. While a knock-off prophylactic is priced at 1 yuan (16 cents), it costs less than 0.2 yuan to produce.
In February, police noticed that prices of brand-name condoms were unreasonably low on one online store, and they bought some products (just to check we are sure). As Bloomberg adds, in April, public health authorities from Ghana impounded more than 1 million substandard condoms, many of them imported from China. “When we tested these condoms, we found that they are poor quality, can burst in the course of sexual activity, and have holes which expose the users to unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease."
The production of the fake condoms was so simple that the 50-square-meter workshop could produce 20,000 counterfeits a day.
Thirty-seven suspects were arrested, and more than 4.65 million fake condoms with an estimated value of 47.7 million yuan were seized in the joint operation.
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the article failed to mention that they were all size small
BULLISH
Good for us, more cheaper labor in the decades to come
Humpgate?
A BILLION Chinese using fake condoms. Who would have thought such a thing cound be true??
It explains how there are a billion Chinese.
"the article failed to mention that they were all size small"
If they were, and they were selling them in Africa it's no wonder that they were breaking.
Jissbon? What kind of confidence would even the real brand give you...?
Everything is fucked up beyond repair.
Everything.
could I please have the rat's penis sautee special?
Jissbon and Durianex engorged story have the interest muchso.
Gives with Jissbon sunglassery image having modness. On Durianex with surveyors have sexs on the Chineses People's Daily "per capita sexual partners as 19.3, while with the most gloomy sex ardour."
Wisdomary on "Chinese view on sex arouses introspection among Westerners."
Can truth exist upon this perplexively?
http://www.danwei.org/intellectual_property/jissbon_condoms_james_bond_a...
Chinese medicine explains why there are over a billion Chinese.
He's got the Midas Touch... But he touched it too much... He's 'GOLDSCHMEMBER'...
~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwB0ZJbwmpw
The easiest way to tell if a condom is real is to look at the serial number or company logo on it.
LOL
A leak here a leak there and pretty soon you're mistakened for a Catholic or a Mormon.
Well if someone's going to be a cheap fucker and buy counterfeit condoms, they can at least double bag it.
Where the rubber meets the road
but the scheme went off half cocked
when they stretched their luck too thin
Ah, ah, where rubber meeting roadside and deteriorate in withering stench.
Apparently most don't have to roll it down that far. I see the serial number/logo every time. ;o)
me 2
fake or not, why can't the chinese build anything that actually works?? it's not rocket science to build a rubber tube that works?? everything they build is built to last less than a minute, the purchase to failure cycle is now measure in nano's. <golf clap>
Here I was thinking that I was just STRONG LIKE BULL.
Oh well. <strokes ego>
pods
It is all about building things at the lowest possible price. It does not matter that it works. As long as the buyer thinks it might work and gets a good price.
But, like a Chinese bearing, it has to fit...
Sagacity of Confucius recommend the bearinggrease applyment judiciously.
Planned obsolescence, taken to the extreme.
I've never heard of anyone returning a defective used condom. The Chinese probably didn't see much downside risk as a result.
I have a stick glue that was made in Japan. I bought this more than 15 years ago. And I can still use this.
I had six stick glues that were made in China. All of them became unusable in less than six months.
Stick glue... It's such a simple thing. But I guess the Chinese culture is all about making money now, and it shows.
US corporations using cheap Chinese labour for maximum profits - has more to do with amrkn "culture" than chinese. . .
Funny, I suspect that machine you are using was built to work for more than a minute. Guess where it's made?
The broad brush doesn't work.
Chineses do the buildment with provided US citizen 'american' specificationality to accord diligently.
That's all the time I need...so I guess perfectly planned efficiency
little wonder why there's over a billion of them....
Only + 2 for this?
This is Golden. Beat me to it.
Demonrat condoms?
In reality, this is bullish for China. They have a population problem (aging) created by the abortion loving and euthanizing globalists. Once the Chinese overthrow their gubmint, for the benefit of the people, it will be good to have a next generation...non?
Jissbon. Ya' just couldn't make that one up! ;-)
They bought out Comegood Inc. last quarter!
I hope Marc Faber is not buying counterfeit Jissbon rubbers when he goes to Bang-Cock.
should be Jizzban
Jizzbomb, cuz they burst.
I only read this article because I was hoping the CEO's name would be Wang or Dong.
It was Mr. Long who first reported a problem
but the company said it was his fault
Wang Hai lawyer has Jissbon in his eyes:
http://www.globaltimes.cn/business/comment/2011-04/629424.html
Hello my name is monsieur Jizz Good.
I would have gone with Jizzblock, but that's just me.
Also, I'm pretty sure the condoms in the picture were meant for the export market...unless it's one of those trick photography angles or something.
"Man who scrimp on cheap condom deserve 18 years of expensive mistake."
Neoconfucious
.
Jissbon shortening of named originality. Initial nomenclaturizement being Jiss In Lotus Blossom Blooming On Nighttime Propitiously Gives The Containment.
Shorted name the necessity to fit in label with traditional Chinese citizenism packaging thumbnail sized famously.
It's a little known fact that the entire 2pm hour CNBC crew are the byproduct of a CNBC holiday party that used these.
Look it up.
That's a wrap
Fake Condom Ring - Busted!
You'd think the story would get more coverage if only for the headline potential
Everything gets coveraged when the fake condom ring busts.
They should've named these Brokejans.
.
...or Mongolian Preventory Barrier Much The Dangdang.
"The Great Three Inch Leap Forward."
"Raincoat for Clouds and Rain Blobbing-up Jade Gate."
"Inchworm Latex Wonton".
Our whole life is fake.
.
If we knew the truth - it would/could all be different.
.
Work, buy,
Consume, die.
Fuggit.
Sponsored by the Catholic Church and Fundamentalist Christian groups in the USA who for years have put out the lies that condoms have "micro-pores" that allow AIDs through? Btw, abstinence does. not. work.[1]
Can't. Make. This. Shit. Up.
[1]The United States’ teen birth rate is nearly eight times higher than that of the Netherlands’, over five times higher than France’s, and over four times higher than Germany’s. (Fig. 3) [1,3,4]... Limited data is available for STI rates in Europe. However, data from the Netherlands found that rates of reported incidence are considerably higher in the United States.[6,7] Further, comparisons of prevalence (the proportion of a given population which is infected) find that the Chlamydia prevalence among young adults in the United States is twice that among young adults in the Netherlands.[8,9] [source]
Nearly half of the 19 million new STDs each year are among young people aged 15–24 years [CDC]
Note: that's reported, as in the % that actually are responsible enough to test & get clean. The actual rates are much higher ~ up to 20% of young adults in the USA with some form of STD. If you junk, well, go you for promoting sexual disease. I know why you all go to Thailand, much cleaner...
America needs moar children contributing moar money to moar 401k, so that I can buy a Harley and a Jet table saw and retire on time.
- Male "professional", age 37
This condom problem has actually been the news in Ghana since shortly after the contagious case of queerness died out in the press. The current Minister of Health is pro-condom, but the religious institutions (regardless of faith) tend to fall somewhere between sinful and stoning vs hanging when it comes to gays. Too many contradictions... The primary political driver right now in Ghana is keeping the National Health Insurance scheme solvent (i.e. minimize costs by reducing the spread of disease), so unless the fundamentalists can cough up some big bucks their influence is reduced vis-a-vis the World Bank. But right down the road in neighboring countries the religious institutions and missionaries freely ply their trade without the competing influences of economic development/enlightenment.
http://www.modernghana.com/news/458551/1/red-alert-fake-chinese-condoms-hit-ghanaian-market.html
The Food and Drugs Authority (FDA) on Monday alerted the public that it had seized a large consignment of poor quality and substandard Be Safe condoms imported from China.
The packaging of the product has no manufacturer's name and address but only an inscription - Manufactured in P.R.C.
The FDA in a press handout copied to the GNA said seven batches of the Be Safe condoms failed to meet quality standards when tested at the FDA's Medical Devices Laboratories.
The condoms were found to contain visible holes and burst easily under pressure and thus can easily break during sex.
It said users were at risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases including HIV/AIDS and having unwanted pregnancies and that the poor quality Be Safe condoms were also smaller-than-normal size and not adequately lubricated.
The failed condoms have the following batch numbers: CQ20124734, CQ20124735, CQ20124739, CQ20124751, CQ20124753, CQ20124761 and CQ20124791.
It however said that there has always been quality and good BE SAFE condoms on the market but cautioned the general public against the use of the above mentioned batches of Be Safe Condoms.
It appealed to any facility having stocks of the affected batches of Be Safe to hand them over to the nearest office of FDA for safe disposal.
'The FDA assures the public of continued vigilance in its enforcement activity to promote public health and safety and appealed to the general public to provide information on individuals suspected of endangering public health and safety through any of the following contacts: 0244337235, 0208204968, 0244571563 or 0246809509'.
Good data, although you can just use [source] and link, I will read them. Paragraph intro is fine.
No-one seems to have noticed, but Mali went live btw. [Grep my comments, it was about Frenchies and war, using Beau Travail videos, naughty me, a few days ago now]. UN peacekeeper general "dead of a heart attack" in Mali, Nigeria announced closed borders + military campaign to the NW and announced a major military campaign. [20 mins ago BBC]
Thanks for the heads up, was reading rss headlines instead of articles last few days. Looks like they started mobilizing late last week after the meeting with the security chiefs - it's going to be messy. Not sure if this helps outside interests or pre-empts them - time will tell.
.
up to 20% of young adults in the USA with some form of STD
Damn near everyone has some form of HPV.
The HPV rates are ~30-50%, they're not included.
Let's just say, I'd think twice about sleeping around in America. Poisonous cocktail of ignorance, lack of ability to afford testing and depressing nihilism with a dash of ultra-conservative G-O-D thrown in for the hypocrisy angle (why is it always the fervent anti's who end up with their paws in the forbidden honey-pot?). And you wonder why some backward Muslim males think like they do? Top tip: they're not hipsters, they don't "get" ironic, and they take the TV / advertising literally.
Sex sells, but not always what you think it's selling.
You're doing it wrong.
I absolutely wouldn't sleep around in urban America.
But I cut the cord awhile ago and don't think about sex much -- if it happens, fine, if not, big deal.
they're not hipsters
That's for sure. Hipsters install entertainment as the centerpiece of their existence. Sex and music have their place, but neither is anything to obsess over, imho.
(Having said that, +1 for the ska, I used to play in a ska band and penned this one myself https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmRZdzZ1_VM )
Either you just snarked me badly, or outed yourself badly. Careful, I know what you did to my father.
Lol. Your Ni-Ti loop is acting up, Aurora.
You really don't want me to go there. I've done those tests. I've done harder tests. I've even been tested to destruction. I view your usage of that moniker as a weakness, not a hat-tip to a shared realm. I think your view of humanity is crude, intellectually and psychologically vapid, weak and useless. It is defeatism dressed up as special snowflake land, because you've never tried anything challenging, and love attaching to a label that defines you.
I am not your friend in this.
People react badly when you break them in reverse, when they think they're testing you.
<I'M A YELLOW AND I LIKE MANUAL WORK>
<I'M A GREEN AND I'M CREATIVE>
<I'M A BLUE AND I'M GOOD AT STRATEGY AND PLANNING>
<I'M A RED AND I'M PASSIONATE AND EMPATHETIC ABOUT PEOPLE>
<I'M A WHITE AND I DESIGN THE RULES OF THE GAME>
<I'M A BLACK AND I ENFORCE OUR SOCIETY>
<I'M CTHULHU AND I'M HERE TO EAT YOU ALL, YOU PATHETIC CHILD-LIKE SUB-HUMANS>
Of course I know you've done all that. Otherwise my comment would've appeared random as hell. I'm a textbook INFJ, and only the immature ones are defeatist (or, more likely, they're INFP hipsters who call themselves INFJs just to claim "rarity" for whatever reason -- I pegged you for a J, though).
I'd say please go there and prove my point again, but now your primary shadow Ne is acting up. The response won't be genuine. Go focus on your senses for a bit and come back later.
No, you misunderstand "testing to destruction".
I think I did 7 years. You can get it in real wars (usually civil or global, i.e. total war) or through specific environmental conditions. It's a form of attempting to use pain, fear, stress, loss, grief, hope, total environmental control and social exclusion and so on to break a personality and to measure your impact.
And yes, I know you do it for the fun / hunt.
If you do it to an aware subject, you will not get the outcome or data you desire, nor will you "make them free". The human subject plays back, and might even play Go.
"You've heard of animals chewing off a leg to escape a trap? There's an animal kind of trick. A human would remain in the trap, endure the pain, feigning death that he might kill the trapper and remove a threat to his kind."
Still love you all though. And that's the point.
Funny you should link to the man who said, "Never compromise. Not even in the face of armageddon."
I'm a creative person. If war comes, I'll die before I destroy. Sounds like you compromised. Or would you like to be less vague now?
If not, adieu.
No, you missed the point entirely and the metaphor. I apologize if you're Asperger's bent, I should have made myself clearer.
You should never compromise in the face of your humanity. And, look back up through the thread, you'll see hints to where people are attempting to remove said humanity. That way genocide comes. But it's ok you didn't get it. There's an empathetic bond you're missing - go look at some cat pictures and try to transfer it to a human.
You need to read some decent philosophy before engaging again. (Oh, but I did like the usage of the French 'farewell for all time' as opposed to 'goodbye', that was cute, as if I can't read it fluently or haven't seen it a thousand times before).
Off to watch someone cut the heart out of their enemy and eat in front of a camera, as that's what the "test to destruction" that succeeds leads to. And yes, sweety, they do know it, that's why they do it, it's entertainment. Rabbit Holes are much darker than you can imagine, even with watching humans kill humans in real time. It's not about the death, it's about the corruption of ideals. That's what the test is about - be it financial, love, anger whatever: it's to make you betray your own ideology.
That's the fun they get out of it. I'm here to stop some of the fun, or at least show the Exits > (and no, I'm not a Christian, it's nothing to do with that Religion).
At some point, you should consider your self-proclaimed "protector" personality, and wonder if you can take the world. Adieu doesn't cut it, mon ami. If you can grokk that, you might learn something. As I said: I'm not your friend, and you'll probably burn out before you even get close to my world. I don't live out of a textbook, Mr INFJ or whatever you want to hide behind. Lions, Tigers and Bears. Adieu.
p.s.
Loving the fact that "being less vague" made him run like a rabbit. His test was mild, and he failed very badly. Weak, weak, weak. Oh, and fuck you, I didn't compromise at all, ever, over 7 years, even at the end, so fuck you. 100-1 he can't answer this. And you bother me with this rubbish? (Meta-comment ~ really? Come on now. Pathetic.)
First off, you edit your comments furiously. It is difficult to keep up. I hope I've allowed you enough time to finalize yourself before I post this response, and I do appreciate that extra effort you exert for me, friend or not.
Second off (I hate when people just leave it at "first" and don't at least give a "second"):
You should never compromise in the face of your humanity
That's not what Rorschach said in the quote. He said "armageddon," and for a reason. If he meant "humanity," he wouldn't look down and whisper, "no," now, would he? Where's the humanity in that? Do you consider whores sub-human? I'd expect you to grok a simple comic book before we go delving into philosophy. You are substituting your own message for the author's message, which is fine, but it doesn't fool me.
Thirdly,
There's an empathetic bond you're missing/you should consider your self-proclaimed "protector" personality, and wonder if you can take the world/Mr INFJ or whatever you want to hide behind
You think that because I do not empathize with you at the present moment, I must not be capable of empathy. I'm an F, not a T. Present me with a story and there is a good chance I will empathize with it, knowing that there's a chance you'd reject my empathy. But maybe not. All I have to go on right now is standoffishness and "I did 7 years" (in...what? And I'm still not sure how this relates to Myers-Briggs).
I can't hide behind the INFJ type any more than I can hide behind being a male. And yes, I'm protective, but only a fool would try to "take the world" and that isn't my mission anyway. I'm a creator. I may try to create the world or some subset of it, but that's entirely different from what you've postulated.
And, finally,
and no, I'm not a Christian
Me neither.
Rule #1: the heavier the edits, the drunker the post. Positively unable to type at that point and by the sheer volume of units, shouldn't have been able to think either. Arguably I wasn't, as it's a cluttered mess, but that's the ZH drinking challenge. But I got the part where you threatened me with extinction, that's never going to end well.
You've missed the lesson of Rorschach: he's self-aware that he's a monster, and he's self-aware to know that he cannot lie in the face of the compromise put forward at the end of the comic, because his entire Being is shaped by a radical vision of 'Truth' and Absolute Morality, and he's being used by the Author as one facet of Humanity that cannot survive in their Universe (Veidt's plan is literally: "The End Justifies The Means" - it's Sophocles, and Alan Moore is well read enough to know it, and it was a run-on joke regarding my "I know what you did to my father" comment, but there we go, when drunk you forget to add the tells. When drunk I forget most of you think linearly or ->> arrow of time, or read left to right not Up/Down Right/Left or whatever dualistic system you're comfortable in you do ~ English, so Left > Right on the 2D plane. Think 4D sometime, it's more efficient!).
Oh, and the actual Rorschach line I was referring to, is (since I linked the film, not the comic strip): "Suddenly you discovered humanity... convenient. If you'd cared from the start, non of this would have happened. Of course you must protect Veidt's new utopia. What's one more body amongst foundations? Well, what are you waiting for? Do it... DO IT!"
He chose not to sacrifice his view of Being in the face of the self-aware knowledge he would be killed. Getting the reference tie-ins yet? Hint - compare & contrast him to our Radical Freedom Fighter in Syria eating a heart, which is why I suggested that he passed the "Test to Destruction" (that really should have made your hackles rise, if it didn't, then I'm going to have to be a lot more sober, tone it down and will probably get spanked for explaining, since it's way past your pay grade). As for the rest, again, you've missed the point, so I'll not bother unpacking it further, but make it simple:
You define yourself by labels, and picture yourself as a Cog Within A Clock-Work Model. A 2n if you will. You like being a rare cog in said model, but there we go, that's vanity and Ego speaking.
I do not. The organic is much more messy, and can easily slip and slide through that model. Might even get past 16 archetypes, or combine them or be able to dance through on a whim. A Doors to Perception moment if you will.
Rhizomatic.
Come back if you want me to explain some of the rest. I'll go slower, I promise. You might not like the answers, and I'll probably get censured from saying too much at this point, but hey. That's why I referenced Rorschach. This culture of only using coded nods and winks is very boring to me, this snobbery of using heuristic tests to grade upwards does nothing to raise the entire group.
p.s. Yes, of course I'm flattered by the INFJ listing, and of course I test that way. I'm also self-aware enough to be able to test to any result you want, that's the joke, because allegedly only psychopaths / sociopaths can do that. I can assure you I am neither of those two options.
You also missed the entire joke that I was using Watchmen references towards you, because that's how you self-define. I even laid it on thick with the death of the Comedian and Jimi playing "All along the Watchtower". Oh well, I hope someone was laughing, you might want to note the lyrics of Jimi's song and get the further joke. I know I did, I often take the piss out of myself (drunk reference, groan).
I've addressed very little of your metaphorical talk for a few reasons. Firstly, because you can always claim that you meant something entirely different, even if I do assess it as you mean it. And that's exactly what I expect you to do. There's no value in that, so I stopped clicking on your links after "you're locked in here with me," because...
Secondly, your snark (which makes up the entirety of your posts) is for you, not me. None of this is really about me, so even a correct response doesn't matter, if a correct response exists at all.
Thirdly, there is very distinct reason for the study of fields like philosophy. People study those subjects so that they can approximate through rigor what everyone else already understands non-verbally and acts on intuitively by age 10 at the latest. Then they call their approximations "intellectual." I've had people spell out elaborate theories to describe behavior, only to give it back to them in a couple of sentences, generally with the sentiment along the lines of, "I already just know/do that without having to think through the entire process first. And so does everyone else but you."
But just for shits, yes, I do get the Rorschach thing. I've also drawn comparisons to Batman. I have to actively research "meanings" (or whatever meaning exists in entertainment) on the fly because I place little value on amusements to begin with. You want to get my hackles up, talk about ZIRP, not cheap treats from the pissant media. I don't own any comic books (on a recommendation, I borrowed The Watchmen as a teenager in the previous decade and remember little of it), or a TV, nor do I expose myself much to film or the media in general. I will certainly concede that I am not as intimately familiar with entertainment as you are. But I really don't give a shit about The Watchmen or Jimi Hendrix, and what they might mean to you in one drunken moment, Rory.
Naturally you think that because you've examined something that I haven't, it must be above my pay grade. And I can point to things I've studied thoroughly that you haven't and call it above your pay grade, and we can dance round and round that stage all day long. That'll grandly accomplish nothing.
As for my ego, I know it's huge. And I make sure to keep it generally aligned with producing physical goods of value so that at least other people benefit from its pursuits. Nothing to give a shit about.
Goodnight, Rory.
INFJs are conscientious and value-driven. They seek meaning in relationships, ideas, and events, with an eye toward better understanding themselves and others. Using their intuitive skills, they develop a clear and confident vision, which they then set out to execute, aiming to better the lives of others. Like their INTJ counterparts, INFJs regard problems as opportunities to design and implement creative solutions.
If you dismiss philosophy, and can't even be bothered to click the links where the meta-content is, you're not a INFJ. Poseur. The entire point is to take what's being said, and combine it with the meta-content then form the mosaic of the actual meaning. Like crosswords, but more fun, and it doesn't rely on cultural knowledge, that's why you get the links & can use simple search tools to explain it for you if you need it. It's the opposite of being a hipster, it's not exclusionary, it's deliberately inclusive.
And no, the snark isn't the entirety of my posts, you're like a vapid Disney Princess looking into the pond and only seeing her glorious reflection. M E T A. I'll be explicit, since your intuition is lacking: snark is the price you pay to the gallery for posting, otherwise you get canned (far beyond ZH here in all deadly seriousness).
If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. - B Wilder. (And if you missed his name is an actual joke, then you're not paying attention).
p.s. Rory? How cute. "All philosophy is what I intuited by the age of 10": translation - I've never read any, nor met a philosopher in my paltry tiny little life.
Why bother even reading ZH, since you can intuit the world so brilliantly?
Answer: masturbation.
Sentence: being eaten by a VC angel of death while thinking your reflection is perfect.
tl;dr
Philosophy teaches critical thinking and logic, but better yet, it teaches you higher-order thinking. I can't remember who said it, but something-something "empathy is derived from the ability to understand the Other's position." You dismiss that, and therefore you're not a INFJ.
Here's some rope, there's the petard, get climbing.
(And the real put down, which you missed: you think so boringly 2D. Please let me never meet you. ZZzzzz)
Why empathize when I can just be other people? Empathy is the masturbation here. Having a non-local thought or experience is the real deal.
And if I'm boring you so badly, why do you continue to answer?
To be fair, "VC angel of death" was damn funny. +1
Ahh, now that is interesting; the boring was just a lure. I always thought that being that explicit would get you into more trouble than my metaphor networks.
And I have loved thee, ocean! And my joy
Of youthful sports was on thy breast to be
Borne, like thy bubbles, onward: from a boy
I wanton'd with thy breakers-they to me
Were a delight; and if the freshening sea
Made them a terror-'twas a pleasing fear,
For I was as it were a child of thee,
And trusted to thy billows far and near,
And laid my hand upon thy mane - as I do here.
My boring is genuine.
And if you're still around on this thread, I just read the Dollar-Yen thread.
It was jam packed with synchronicities. I haven't seen that many in one spot in a long time. I'd fallen outta the habit of looking for them.
Thanks.
I'm a gamma ray burst and I care not what is in my path.
SpaceWeather is your friend.
Another bubble popped by the Feds. The Bernank better inject some more liquidity.
Meanwhile in India the standard condom is too large for most men.
http://www.condom-sizes.org/condom-sizes/condoms-too-big-for-indian-men
Fuck you!
But not you.
"I am wanting to be finding the sizes of the condoms that are doing the fitting of the normal sizes of the penises of the average Indian mans. You are being the very silly peoples to be doing the selling of the bigs instead."
Bad Marketing...
Should be sold as "relaxed fit" for comfort, like Levi's.
You can see how sensitive Indians are about the topic.
Marketing strategy - call the smallest size condom available (Chinese & Indian) XXXL and go up from there. Me personally, I'm an XXXXXXXL.
Chinese condom sizes:
R, XR, XXR...
ROR!
Ah, ah, for tarpaulin coverings protection the Chinese Citizenism Hancock Building contruction project requirings size XMR (Xtra Mastodonic Rarge).
Made me laugh.
Hoping you wouldn't let this one go.
be making me ho ho all the way to the Ganges, so I can be happily drowning myself.
Not so sure I would have taken the bait on that one. But, since we're on the subject: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finger_cot
I don't use condoms, so this isn't relevant to me.
Vanessa Kensington: Well, did you use protection?
Austin Powers: Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.
Vanessa Kensington: You know I meant 'did you use a condom'?
Austin Powers: No. Only sailors use condoms, baby.
Vanessa Kensington: Not in the 90's, Austin.
Austin Powers: Well they should, those filthy beggars. They go from port to port.
http://www.anyclip.com/movies/austin-powers-international-man-of-mystery/fighting-with-vanessa/#!quotes/
they forgot to consifscate the "Long Dong's"- brand...
POW!!!!!!
$1.67/condom?
no, comes with egg roll. you want brown rice?
$1.67 pricings inclusory of buffet deliciously.
come with happy ending
HAPPY ENDING!!
Nothing to do with FED on this one. Just plain shitty farmers figured out how make look-alikes.
Those people are very creative but completely lack any business ethic.
Bengazi Balloons...
"Just when you think you're safe."
God, does this mean that there are going to be dozens of little AnAnonymouses running around China soon, blobbing-up all the poisoned baby formula in sight?
Make me laugh!
Sometimes I wish I could draw cartoons...
When was the last reported siting of AnAnon?
You and Stoogings tag team on him was something I found very therapeutic.
I always love a stooging - anannomys - akak sandwich. Frankly, I can't get enough.
Typical US 'american' citizen eternal nature. Superior lunchtimes eatment with house special Shanghai Kitten Crispy at JKC* famously.
*Just Killed Cat, Chinese citizenism fastfood chain of repute the greatness.
@ Stooging - welcome. I thought you would never get here.
@ akak - you will ALWAYS. Get a gratuitous up arrow from me when you use the phrase "blobbing up" in a post. Always.
Made me laugh!
US 'american' middle-king-class semantical blobbing-up eternal nature is the mattering thing, very much something. Since 4 July,1776.
Alas,alas, three erect inches alas, just have to bear with it.
I stopped reading at blobbing-up. There's your up arrow. Thank you very much.
You ungateful plicks. One Chinese company tlying to fix demoglaphic ploblem and evelybody complain. World gone clazy.
Don't be so hard on the Chinese. Like their dinguses mimic those mini helium tanks in the pic. They can get by with a peanut shell and a rubber band.
Said hard on....
Youve been waiting patiently to unleash this list haven't you?
Way too much free time.......
Go Navy
Dikipedia?
163) Blob up into Jissbon
Time for a joke.
Dwarf goes into pharmacy and asks for the biggest condom. Pharmacist tells him that the biggest condom is four feet long and that it will take a week to be ordered in.
Dwarf returns a week later and pays for condom. He proceeds to unwrap it and then slides it over his head all the way down to his ankles.
Dwarf asks in muffled voice, "how do I look?"
Pharmacist answers, "well you look like a big prick"
Dwarf replies in muffled tone, "that's good,....I'm sick and tired of being called a little cunt".
My apologies if I have offended anyone with a 35 year old joke.
Lemme check.
You can't use the c word,
but you can spy and harass.
It's actually a Catholic conspiracy.
Epic.
I played that for my English mom, who was more Catholic than the Pope and she almost pissed herself she was laughing so hard.
10 child policy
So condoms are like dollars....
...both are elastic. Both are in large supply. But dollar still operates under extreme pressure.
They have condoms called JizzBomb? Awesome!
Old song:
'Grandfather sells cheap prophalactics,
He punctures the head with a pin.
Grandmother gets rich from abortions,
My God how the money rolls in.'
Japan condoms are top notch... but they are so small I have to cut the end off them to make 'em fit!!
Now I'm off to read Wolf's article about "the Hollowing Out of Chinese Manufacturing".
I sense a trend here.
That will put some Lead in your pencil
The ballad of Barnacle Bill and the Fair Maiden
Destined for the US, probably causes cancer and death to the users.
Penny wise, 18 years of child support foolish
You still don't get Obamacare
On another humorous note, here is an Irish Poem about the Seattle Dribbler, R. Swanson, who decided to dribble a soccer ball from Washington to Brazil:
Swanson Song
A Seattle man liked to dribble.
Can't figure out why, but won't quibble.
But he had some bad luck
And got hit by a truck. . .
A highway is no place to fribble!
Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter
(PS: YES, there is such a word as "fribble" and it has been around for close to 400 years!!!)
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fribble
True history; during the lend lease program with Russia during wwII the russians asked for condoms. knowing they would be needed, and wanting to goose the U.S. they asked for the condoms to be 16 inches long. The U.S. manufacturers filled the order as specified. The condoms were made and placed in packages clearly marked in cyrillic... size- SMALL.
I came here for the comments. But the question that no one is asking: what kind of sex were the public health authorities from Ghana having?
"When we tested these condoms..."
What kind of sex were they having??? OH, I have been drinking and I just wrote an Irish Poem for that! But this one is naughty, so read it at your own risk if you are delicate.
Anti-Phylactics???
There once was a maiden from Ghana,
Who had sex in a seaside cabana.
The condom, from China,
Burst in her vagina.
She found herself knocked-up manana.
Squeeky Fromm, Risque Girl Reporter
Even good condoms are a terrible choice for birth control and a joke when it comes to disease prevention. 10% of couples who use them as their sole source of birth control experience a pregnancy each year. A woman can get pregnant only a few days a month yet you can get a STD the first time you have unprotected sex. Want to prevent getting an STD? Don't have sex with someone you're not married to.
There are even special condoms for WOMEN!
http://www.thefrisky.com/2009-05-21/rapex-anti-rape-condoms-turn-your-vag-into-a-penis-fly-trap/
Has dozens of sharp plastic teeth that embed themselves in the penis of any man foolish enough to rape a Rapex wearing woman.
Sort of like a roach motel for penises. You check in but can't check out. The ZIRP of condoms.
They saw demographic trends and took matters into their own hands (and other extremities)
ps. The Whole Society Is A Criminal Enterprise
boosting Chinese 'citizenism' is the mattering reasoned to 'use' better condoms for more roadside action!
- AnAnonacondom