This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Humpday Humor: The Rise Of China's Counterfeit Condoms

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Fake iPhones - who cares? Fake Gucci handbags - spread the wealth? But fake condoms is going too far. As China Daily reports, a underground workshop producing fake brand-name condoms was busted after police found clues on an online marketplace. Police confiscated more than 2 million bogus condoms labeled Jissbon, Durex and Contex. While a knock-off prophylactic is priced at 1 yuan (16 cents), it costs less than 0.2 yuan to produce.

In February, police noticed that prices of brand-name condoms were unreasonably low on one online store, and they bought some products (just to check we are sure). As Bloomberg adds, in April, public health authorities from Ghana impounded more than 1 million substandard condoms, many of them imported from China. “When we tested these condoms, we found that they are poor quality, can burst in the course of sexual activity, and have holes which expose the users to unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease."

The production of the fake condoms was so simple that the 50-square-meter workshop could produce 20,000 counterfeits a day.

Thirty-seven suspects were arrested, and more than 4.65 million fake condoms with an estimated value of 47.7 million yuan were seized in the joint operation.

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:47 | 3566124 alphamentalist
alphamentalist's picture

the article failed to mention that they were all size small

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:49 | 3566130 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

BULLISH

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:59 | 3566184 rajat_bhatia
rajat_bhatia's picture

Good for us, more cheaper labor in the decades to come

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:13 | 3566241 Element
Element's picture

Humpgate?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:23 | 3566283 metastar
metastar's picture

A BILLION Chinese using fake condoms. Who would have thought such a thing cound be true??

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:28 | 3566311 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

It explains how there are a billion Chinese.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:20 | 3566498 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

"the article failed to mention that they were all size small"

If they were, and they were selling them in Africa it's no wonder that they were breaking.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:25 | 3566513 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Jissbon?  What kind of confidence would even the real brand give you...?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:25 | 3566757 knukles
knukles's picture

Everything is fucked up beyond repair.
Everything.

could I please have the rat's penis sautee special?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:06 | 3567267 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Jissbon and Durianex engorged story have the interest muchso.

Gives with Jissbon sunglassery image having modness. On Durianex with surveyors have sexs on the Chineses People's Daily "per capita sexual partners as 19.3, while with the most gloomy sex ardour."

Wisdomary on "Chinese view on sex arouses introspection among Westerners."

Can truth exist upon this perplexively?

http://www.danwei.org/intellectual_property/jissbon_condoms_james_bond_a...

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:21 | 3566499 malikai
malikai's picture

Chinese medicine explains why there are over a billion Chinese.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:29 | 3566312 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

He's got the Midas Touch... But he touched it too much... He's 'GOLDSCHMEMBER'...

~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwB0ZJbwmpw

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:18 | 3566264 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

The easiest way to tell if a condom is real is to look at the serial number or company logo on it.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:24 | 3566286 pods
pods's picture

LOL

 

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:43 | 3566377 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

A leak here a leak there and pretty soon you're mistakened for a Catholic or a Mormon.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:30 | 3567338 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Well if someone's going to be a cheap fucker and buy counterfeit condoms, they can at least double bag it.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:42 | 3566373 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Where the rubber meets the road

but the scheme went off half cocked

when they stretched their luck too thin

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:57 | 3566626 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Ah, ah, where rubber meeting roadside and deteriorate in withering stench.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:31 | 3566536 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Apparently most don't have to roll it down that far.  I see the serial number/logo every time. ;o)

Thu, 05/16/2013 - 00:35 | 3567946 hunglow
hunglow's picture

me 2

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:55 | 3566162 prains
prains's picture

fake or not, why can't the chinese build anything that actually works?? it's not rocket science to build a rubber tube that works?? everything they build is built to last less than a minute, the purchase to failure cycle is now measure in nano's. <golf clap>

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:57 | 3566178 pods
pods's picture

Here I was thinking that I was just STRONG LIKE BULL.

Oh well.  <strokes ego>

pods

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:58 | 3566179 Freddie
Freddie's picture

It is all about building things at the lowest possible price.   It does not matter that it works.  As long as the buyer thinks it might work and gets a good price.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:45 | 3566886 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

But, like a Chinese bearing, it has to fit...

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:14 | 3567291 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Sagacity of Confucius recommend the bearinggrease applyment judiciously.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:06 | 3566211 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

Planned obsolescence, taken to the extreme.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:02 | 3566403 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

I've never heard of anyone returning a defective used condom.  The Chinese probably didn't see much downside risk as a result.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:18 | 3566491 Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

I have a stick glue that was made in Japan.  I bought this more than 15 years ago.  And I can still use this.

I had six stick glues that were made in China.  All of them became unusable in less than six months.

Stick glue...  It's such a simple thing. But I guess the Chinese culture is all about making money now, and it shows.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:48 | 3566894 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

US corporations using cheap Chinese labour for maximum profits - has more to do with amrkn "culture" than chinese. . .

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:23 | 3566506 malikai
malikai's picture

Funny, I suspect that machine you are using was built to work for more than a minute. Guess where it's made?

The broad brush doesn't work.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:00 | 3566637 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Chineses do the buildment with provided US citizen 'american' specificationality to accord diligently.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 21:52 | 3567560 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

everything they build is built to last less than a minute

That's all the time I need...so I guess perfectly planned efficiency

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:12 | 3566237 Stuart
Stuart's picture

little wonder why there's over a billion of them....

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:21 | 3566271 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Only + 2 for this?

This is Golden. Beat me to it.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:03 | 3566447 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Demonrat condoms?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:57 | 3566939 killallthefiat
killallthefiat's picture

In reality, this is bullish for China.  They have a population problem (aging) created by the abortion loving and euthanizing globalists.  Once the Chinese overthrow their gubmint, for the benefit of the people, it will be good to have a next generation...non?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:48 | 3566126 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Jissbon. Ya' just couldn't make that one up! ;-)

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:54 | 3566156 bania
bania's picture

They bought out Comegood Inc. last quarter!

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:55 | 3566168 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I hope Marc Faber is not buying counterfeit Jissbon rubbers when he goes to Bang-Cock.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:31 | 3566332 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

should be Jizzban

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:11 | 3566690 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

Jizzbomb, cuz they burst.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:59 | 3566183 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

I only read this article because I was hoping the CEO's name would be Wang or Dong.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:57 | 3566409 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

It was Mr. Long who first reported a problem

but the company said it was his fault

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:55 | 3567402 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Wang Hai lawyer has Jissbon in his eyes:

http://www.globaltimes.cn/business/comment/2011-04/629424.html

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:04 | 3566205 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

Hello my name is monsieur Jizz Good.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:37 | 3566315 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I would have gone with Jizzblock, but that's just me.

Also, I'm pretty sure the condoms in the picture were meant for the export market...unless it's one of those trick photography angles or something.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:56 | 3566427 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

"Man who scrimp on cheap condom deserve 18 years of expensive mistake."

Neoconfucious

 

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:10 | 3566680 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

Jissbon. Ya' just couldn't make that one up!

Jissbon shortening of named originality. Initial nomenclaturizement being Jiss In Lotus Blossom Blooming On Nighttime Propitiously Gives The Containment.

Shorted name the necessity to fit in label with traditional Chinese citizenism packaging thumbnail sized famously.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:49 | 3566131 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

It's a little known fact that the entire 2pm hour CNBC crew are the byproduct of a CNBC holiday party that used these.

Look it up.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:49 | 3566134 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

That's a wrap

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:21 | 3566275 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

 Fake Condom Ring - Busted!

 

You'd think the story would get more coverage if only for the headline potential

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:45 | 3566324 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Everything gets coveraged when the fake condom ring busts.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:59 | 3566433 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

They should've named these Brokejans.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:13 | 3566704 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

They should've named these Brokejans.

...or Mongolian Preventory Barrier Much The Dangdang.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:20 | 3566719 akak
akak's picture

"The Great Three Inch Leap Forward."

"Raincoat for Clouds and Rain Blobbing-up Jade Gate."

"Inchworm Latex Wonton".

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:50 | 3566140 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Our whole life is fake.

.

If we knew the truth - it would/could all be different.

.

Work, buy,

Consume, die.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:09 | 3566149 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Fuggit.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:06 | 3566146 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Sponsored by the Catholic Church and Fundamentalist Christian groups in the USA who for years have put out the lies that condoms have "micro-pores" that allow AIDs through? Btw, abstinence does. not. work.[1]

 

 

Can't. Make. This. Shit. Up.

 

 

[1]The United States’ teen birth rate is nearly eight times higher than that of the Netherlands’, over five times higher than France’s, and over four times higher than Germany’s. (Fig. 3) [1,3,4]... Limited data is available for STI rates in Europe. However, data from the Netherlands found that rates of reported incidence are considerably higher in the United States.[6,7] Further, comparisons of prevalence (the proportion of a given population which is infected) find that the Chlamydia prevalence among young adults in the United States is twice that among young adults in the Netherlands.[8,9] [source]

Nearly half of the 19 million new STDs each year are among young people aged 15–24 years [CDC]

 

Note: that's reported, as in the % that actually are responsible enough to test & get clean. The actual rates are much higher ~ up to 20% of young adults in the USA with some form of STD. If you junk, well, go you for promoting sexual disease. I know why you all go to Thailand, much cleaner...

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:12 | 3566236 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

America needs moar children contributing moar money to moar 401k, so that I can buy a Harley and a Jet table saw and retire on time.

- Male "professional", age 37

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:31 | 3566317 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

This condom problem has actually been the news in Ghana since shortly after the contagious case of queerness died out in the press.  The current Minister of Health is pro-condom, but the religious institutions (regardless of faith) tend to fall somewhere between sinful and stoning vs hanging when it comes to gays.  Too many contradictions...  The primary political driver right now in Ghana is keeping the National Health Insurance scheme solvent (i.e. minimize costs by reducing the spread of disease), so unless the fundamentalists can cough up some big bucks their influence is reduced vis-a-vis the World Bank.  But right down the road in neighboring countries the religious institutions and missionaries freely ply their trade without the competing influences of economic development/enlightenment. 

http://www.modernghana.com/news/458551/1/red-alert-fake-chinese-condoms-hit-ghanaian-market.html

 

The Food and Drugs Authority (FDA) on Monday alerted the public that it had seized a large consignment of poor quality and substandard Be Safe condoms imported from China.

The packaging of the product has no manufacturer's name and address but only an inscription - Manufactured in P.R.C.

The FDA in a press handout copied to the GNA said seven batches of the Be Safe condoms failed to meet quality standards when tested at the FDA's Medical Devices Laboratories.

The condoms were found to contain visible holes and burst easily under pressure and thus can easily break during sex.

It said users were at risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases including HIV/AIDS and having unwanted pregnancies and that the poor quality Be Safe condoms were also smaller-than-normal size and not adequately lubricated.

The failed condoms have the following batch numbers: CQ20124734, CQ20124735, CQ20124739, CQ20124751, CQ20124753, CQ20124761 and CQ20124791.

It however said that there has always been quality and good BE SAFE condoms on the market but cautioned the general public against the use of the above mentioned batches of Be Safe Condoms.

It appealed to any facility having stocks of the affected batches of Be Safe to hand them over to the nearest office of FDA for safe disposal.

'The FDA assures the public of continued vigilance in its enforcement activity to promote public health and safety and appealed to the general public to provide information on individuals suspected of endangering public health and safety through any of the following contacts: 0244337235, 0208204968, 0244571563 or 0246809509'.

  

 

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:45 | 3566375 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Good data, although you can just use [source] and link, I will read them. Paragraph intro is fine.

 

No-one seems to have noticed, but Mali went live btw. [Grep my comments, it was about Frenchies and war, using Beau Travail videos, naughty me, a few days ago now]. UN peacekeeper general "dead of a heart attack" in Mali, Nigeria announced closed borders + military campaign to the NW and announced a major military campaign. [20 mins ago BBC]

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 21:00 | 3567426 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Thanks for the heads up, was reading rss headlines instead of articles last few days.  Looks like they started mobilizing late last week after the meeting with the security chiefs - it's going to be messy.  Not sure if this helps outside interests or pre-empts them - time will tell.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:14 | 3566476 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

.

up to 20% of young adults in the USA with some form of STD

Damn near everyone has some form of HPV.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:38 | 3566541 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

The HPV rates are ~30-50%, they're not included.

 

Let's just say, I'd think twice about sleeping around in America. Poisonous cocktail of ignorance, lack of ability to afford testing and depressing nihilism with a dash of ultra-conservative G-O-D thrown in for the hypocrisy angle (why is it always the fervent anti's who end up with their paws in the forbidden honey-pot?). And you wonder why some backward Muslim males think like they do? Top tip: they're not hipsters, they don't "get" ironic, and they take the TV / advertising literally.

Sex sells, but not always what you think it's selling.

 

You're doing it wrong.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:49 | 3566586 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

I absolutely wouldn't sleep around in urban America.

But I cut the cord awhile ago and don't think about sex much -- if it happens, fine, if not, big deal.

they're not hipsters

That's for sure. Hipsters install entertainment as the centerpiece of their existence. Sex and music have their place, but neither is anything to obsess over, imho.

(Having said that, +1 for the ska, I used to play in a ska band and penned this one myself https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmRZdzZ1_VM )

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:43 | 3566876 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Either you just snarked me badly, or outed yourself badly. Careful, I know what you did to my father.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 19:31 | 3567107 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

Lol. Your Ni-Ti loop is acting up, Aurora.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:07 | 3567215 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

You really don't want me to go there. I've done those tests. I've done harder tests. I've even been tested to destruction. I view your usage of that moniker as a weakness, not a hat-tip to a shared realm. I think your view of humanity is crude, intellectually and psychologically vapid, weak and useless. It is defeatism dressed up as special snowflake land, because you've never tried anything challenging, and love attaching to a label that defines you.

 

I am not your friend in this.

 

People react badly when you break them in reverse, when they think they're testing you.

 

<I'M A YELLOW AND I LIKE MANUAL WORK>

<I'M A GREEN AND I'M CREATIVE>

<I'M A BLUE AND I'M GOOD AT STRATEGY AND PLANNING>

<I'M A RED AND I'M PASSIONATE AND EMPATHETIC ABOUT PEOPLE>

<I'M A WHITE AND I DESIGN THE RULES OF THE GAME>

<I'M A BLACK AND I ENFORCE OUR SOCIETY>

 

 

<I'M CTHULHU AND I'M HERE TO EAT YOU ALL, YOU PATHETIC CHILD-LIKE SUB-HUMANS>

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:30 | 3567311 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

Of course I know you've done all that. Otherwise my comment would've appeared random as hell. I'm a textbook INFJ, and only the immature ones are defeatist (or, more likely, they're INFP hipsters who call themselves INFJs just to claim "rarity" for whatever reason -- I pegged you for a J, though).

I'd say please go there and prove my point again, but now your primary shadow Ne is acting up. The response won't be genuine. Go focus on your senses for a bit and come back later.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 21:03 | 3567356 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

No, you misunderstand "testing to destruction".

I think I did 7 years. You can get it in real wars (usually civil or global, i.e. total war) or through specific environmental conditions. It's a form of attempting to use pain, fear, stress, loss, grief, hope, total environmental control and social exclusion and so on to break a personality and to measure your impact.

And yes, I know you do it for the fun / hunt.

 

If you do it to an aware subject, you will not get the outcome or data you desire, nor will you "make them free". The human subject plays back, and might even play Go.

"You've heard of animals chewing off a leg to escape a trap? There's an animal kind of trick. A human would remain in the trap, endure the pain, feigning death that he might kill the trapper and remove a threat to his kind."

 

Still love you all though. And that's the point.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 21:04 | 3567438 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

Funny you should link to the man who said, "Never compromise. Not even in the face of armageddon."

I'm a creative person. If war comes, I'll die before I destroy. Sounds like you compromised. Or would you like to be less vague now?

If not, adieu.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 22:19 | 3567472 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

No, you missed the point entirely and the metaphor. I apologize if you're Asperger's bent, I should have made myself clearer.

 

You should never compromise in the face of your humanity. And, look back up through the thread, you'll see hints to where people are attempting to remove said humanity. That way genocide comes. But it's ok you didn't get it. There's an empathetic bond you're missing - go look at some cat pictures and try to transfer it to a human.

 

You need to read some decent philosophy before engaging again. (Oh, but I did like the usage of the French 'farewell for all time' as opposed to 'goodbye', that was cute, as if I can't read it fluently or haven't seen it a thousand times before).

 

Off to watch someone cut the heart out of their enemy and eat in front of a camera, as that's what the "test to destruction" that succeeds leads to. And yes, sweety, they do know it, that's why they do it, it's entertainment. Rabbit Holes are much darker than you can imagine, even with watching humans kill humans in real time. It's not about the death, it's about the corruption of ideals. That's what the test is about - be it financial, love, anger whatever: it's to make you betray your own ideology.

That's the fun they get out of it. I'm here to stop some of the fun, or at least show the Exits > (and no, I'm not a Christian, it's nothing to do with that Religion).

 

At some point, you should consider your self-proclaimed "protector" personality, and wonder if you can take the world. Adieu doesn't cut it, mon ami. If you can grokk that, you might learn something. As I said: I'm not your friend, and you'll probably burn out before you even get close to my world. I don't live out of a textbook, Mr INFJ or whatever you want to hide behind. Lions, Tigers and Bears. Adieu.

 

 

p.s.

 

Loving the fact that "being less vague" made him run like a rabbit. His test was mild, and he failed very badly. Weak, weak, weak. Oh, and fuck you, I didn't compromise at all, ever, over 7 years, even at the end, so fuck you. 100-1 he can't answer this. And you bother me with this rubbish? (Meta-comment ~ really? Come on now. Pathetic.)

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 22:57 | 3567743 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

First off, you edit your comments furiously. It is difficult to keep up. I hope I've allowed you enough time to finalize yourself before I post this response, and I do appreciate that extra effort you exert for me, friend or not.

Second off (I hate when people just leave it at "first" and don't at least give a "second"):

You should never compromise in the face of your humanity

That's not what Rorschach said in the quote. He said "armageddon," and for a reason. If he meant "humanity," he wouldn't look down and whisper, "no," now, would he? Where's the humanity in that? Do you consider whores sub-human? I'd expect you to grok a simple comic book before we go delving into philosophy. You are substituting your own message for the author's message, which is fine, but it doesn't fool me.

Thirdly,

There's an empathetic bond you're missing/you should consider your self-proclaimed "protector" personality, and wonder if you can take the world/Mr INFJ or whatever you want to hide behind

You think that because I do not empathize with you at the present moment, I must not be capable of empathy. I'm an F, not a T. Present me with a story and there is a good chance I will empathize with it, knowing that there's a chance you'd reject my empathy. But maybe not. All I have to go on right now is standoffishness and "I did 7 years" (in...what? And I'm still not sure how this relates to Myers-Briggs).

I can't hide behind the INFJ type any more than I can hide behind being a male. And yes, I'm protective, but only a fool would try to "take the world" and that isn't my mission anyway. I'm a creator. I may try to create the world or some subset of it, but that's entirely different from what you've postulated.

And, finally,

and no, I'm not a Christian

Me neither.

Thu, 05/16/2013 - 18:11 | 3570741 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Rule #1: the heavier the edits, the drunker the post. Positively unable to type at that point and by the sheer volume of units, shouldn't have been able to think either. Arguably I wasn't, as it's a cluttered mess, but that's the ZH drinking challenge. But I got the part where you threatened me with extinction, that's never going to end well.

You've missed the lesson of Rorschach: he's self-aware that he's a monster, and he's self-aware to know that he cannot lie in the face of the compromise put forward at the end of the comic, because his entire Being is shaped by a radical vision of 'Truth' and Absolute Morality, and he's being used by the Author as one facet of Humanity that cannot survive in their Universe (Veidt's plan is literally: "The End Justifies The Means" - it's Sophocles, and Alan Moore is well read enough to know it, and it was a run-on joke regarding my "I know what you did to my father" comment, but there we go, when drunk you forget to add the tells. When drunk I forget most of you think linearly or ->> arrow of time, or read left to right not Up/Down Right/Left or whatever dualistic system you're comfortable in you do ~ English, so Left > Right on the 2D plane. Think 4D sometime, it's more efficient!).

Oh, and the actual Rorschach line I was referring to, is (since I linked the film, not the comic strip): "Suddenly you discovered humanity... convenient. If you'd cared from the start, non of this would have happened. Of course you must protect Veidt's new utopia. What's one more body amongst foundations? Well, what are you waiting for? Do it... DO IT!"

He chose not to sacrifice his view of Being in the face of the self-aware knowledge he would be killed. Getting the reference tie-ins yet? Hint - compare & contrast him to our Radical Freedom Fighter in Syria eating a heart, which is why I suggested that he passed the "Test to Destruction" (that really should have made your hackles rise, if it didn't, then I'm going to have to be a lot more sober, tone it down and will probably get spanked for explaining, since it's way past your pay grade). As for the rest, again, you've missed the point, so I'll not bother unpacking it further, but make it simple:

 

You define yourself by labels, and picture yourself as a Cog Within A Clock-Work Model. A 2n if you will. You like being a rare cog in said model, but there we go, that's vanity and Ego speaking.

I do not. The organic is much more messy, and can easily slip and slide through that model. Might even get past 16 archetypes, or combine them or be able to dance through on a whim. A Doors to Perception moment if you will.

Rhizomatic.

 

 

Come back if you want me to explain some of the rest. I'll go slower, I promise. You might not like the answers, and I'll probably get censured from saying too much at this point, but hey. That's why I referenced Rorschach. This culture of only using coded nods and winks is very boring to me, this snobbery of using heuristic tests to grade upwards does nothing to raise the entire group.

 

 

p.s. Yes, of course I'm flattered by the INFJ listing, and of course I test that way. I'm also self-aware enough to be able to test to any result you want, that's the joke, because allegedly only psychopaths / sociopaths can do that. I can assure you I am neither of those two options.

 

You also missed the entire joke that I was using Watchmen references towards you, because that's how you self-define. I even laid it on thick with the death of the Comedian and Jimi playing "All along the Watchtower". Oh well, I hope someone was laughing, you might want to note the lyrics of Jimi's song and get the further joke. I know I did, I often take the piss out of myself (drunk reference, groan).

Thu, 05/16/2013 - 22:35 | 3571584 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

I've addressed very little of your metaphorical talk for a few reasons. Firstly, because you can always claim that you meant something entirely different, even if I do assess it as you mean it. And that's exactly what I expect you to do. There's no value in that, so I stopped clicking on your links after "you're locked in here with me," because...

Secondly, your snark (which makes up the entirety of your posts) is for you, not me. None of this is really about me, so even a correct response doesn't matter, if a correct response exists at all.

Thirdly, there is very distinct reason for the study of fields like philosophy. People study those subjects so that they can approximate through rigor what everyone else already understands non-verbally and acts on intuitively by age 10 at the latest. Then they call their approximations "intellectual." I've had people spell out elaborate theories to describe behavior, only to give it back to them in a couple of sentences, generally with the sentiment along the lines of, "I already just know/do that without having to think through the entire process first. And so does everyone else but you."

But just for shits, yes, I do get the Rorschach thing. I've also drawn comparisons to Batman. I have to actively research "meanings" (or whatever meaning exists in entertainment) on the fly because I place little value on amusements to begin with. You want to get my hackles up, talk about ZIRP, not cheap treats from the pissant media. I don't own any comic books (on a recommendation, I borrowed The Watchmen as a teenager in the previous decade and remember little of it), or a TV, nor do I expose myself much to film or the media in general. I will certainly concede that I am not as intimately familiar with entertainment as you are. But I really don't give a shit about The Watchmen or Jimi Hendrix, and what they might mean to you in one drunken moment, Rory.

Naturally you think that because you've examined something that I haven't, it must be above my pay grade. And I can point to things I've studied thoroughly that you haven't and call it above your pay grade, and we can dance round and round that stage all day long. That'll grandly accomplish nothing.

As for my ego, I know it's huge. And I make sure to keep it generally aligned with producing physical goods of value so that at least other people benefit from its pursuits. Nothing to give a shit about.

Goodnight, Rory.

Fri, 05/17/2013 - 00:45 | 3571860 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

INFJs are conscientious and value-driven. They seek meaning in relationships, ideas, and events, with an eye toward better understanding themselves and others. Using their intuitive skills, they develop a clear and confident vision, which they then set out to execute, aiming to better the lives of others. Like their INTJ counterparts, INFJs regard problems as opportunities to design and implement creative solutions.

 

If you dismiss philosophy, and can't even be bothered to click the links where the meta-content is, you're not a INFJ. Poseur. The entire point is to take what's being said, and combine it with the meta-content then form the mosaic of the actual meaning. Like crosswords, but more fun, and it doesn't rely on cultural knowledge, that's why you get the links & can use simple search tools to explain it for you if you need it. It's the opposite of being a hipster, it's not exclusionary, it's deliberately inclusive.

And no, the snark isn't the entirety of my posts, you're like a vapid Disney Princess looking into the pond and only seeing her glorious reflection. M E T A. I'll be explicit, since your intuition is lacking: snark is the price you pay to the gallery for posting, otherwise you get canned (far beyond ZH here in all deadly seriousness).

 

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. - B Wilder. (And if you missed his name is an actual joke, then you're not paying attention).

 

p.s. Rory? How cute. "All philosophy is what I intuited by the age of 10": translation - I've never read any, nor met a philosopher in my paltry tiny little life.

Why bother even reading ZH, since you can intuit the world so brilliantly?

Answer: masturbation.

Sentence: being eaten by a VC angel of death while thinking your reflection is perfect.

 

tl;dr

 

Philosophy teaches critical thinking and logic, but better yet, it teaches you higher-order thinking. I can't remember who said it, but something-something "empathy is derived from the ability to understand the Other's position." You dismiss that, and therefore you're not a INFJ.

 

Here's some rope, there's the petard, get climbing.

 

(And the real put down, which you missed: you think so boringly 2D. Please let me never meet you. ZZzzzz)

Fri, 05/17/2013 - 11:05 | 3572958 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

Why empathize when I can just be other people? Empathy is the masturbation here. Having a non-local thought or experience is the real deal.

And if I'm boring you so badly, why do you continue to answer?

To be fair, "VC angel of death" was damn funny. +1

Sat, 05/18/2013 - 11:44 | 3575785 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Ahh, now that is interesting; the boring was just a lure. I always thought that being that explicit would get you into more trouble than my metaphor networks.

And I have loved thee, ocean! And my joy
Of youthful sports was on thy breast to be
Borne, like thy bubbles, onward: from a boy
I wanton'd with thy breakers-they to me
Were a delight; and if the freshening sea
Made them a terror-'twas a pleasing fear,
For I was as it were a child of thee,
And trusted to thy billows far and near,
And laid my hand upon thy mane - as I do here.

Mon, 05/20/2013 - 02:12 | 3579490 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

My boring is genuine.

And if you're still around on this thread, I just read the Dollar-Yen thread.

It was jam packed with synchronicities. I haven't seen that many in one spot in a long time. I'd fallen outta the habit of looking for them.

Thanks.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:25 | 3567324 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

I'm a gamma ray burst and I care not what is in my path.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:42 | 3567372 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

SpaceWeather is your friend.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:54 | 3566159 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Another bubble popped by the Feds. The Bernank better inject some more liquidity.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:57 | 3566175 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Meanwhile in India the standard condom is too large for most men.

 

http://www.condom-sizes.org/condom-sizes/condoms-too-big-for-indian-men

 

 

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:01 | 3566193 rajat_bhatia
rajat_bhatia's picture

Fuck you! 

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:09 | 3566207 akak
akak's picture

But not you.

"I am wanting to be finding the sizes of the condoms that are doing the fitting of the normal sizes of the penises of the average Indian mans.  You are being the very silly peoples to be doing the selling of the bigs instead."

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:15 | 3566257 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Bad Marketing...

Should be sold as "relaxed fit" for comfort, like Levi's.

You can see how sensitive Indians are about the topic.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:44 | 3566378 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Marketing strategy - call the smallest size condom available (Chinese & Indian) XXXL and go up from there. Me personally, I'm an XXXXXXXL.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:50 | 3566407 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Chinese condom sizes:

R, XR, XXR...

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:17 | 3566720 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

ROR!

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:24 | 3566759 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Ah, ah, for tarpaulin coverings protection the Chinese Citizenism Hancock Building contruction project requirings size XMR (Xtra Mastodonic Rarge).

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:25 | 3566292 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Made me laugh.

Hoping you wouldn't let this one go.

Thu, 05/16/2013 - 21:58 | 3571453 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

be making me ho ho all the way to the Ganges, so I can be happily drowning myself.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:35 | 3566344 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Not so sure I would have taken the bait on that one. But, since we're on the subject: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finger_cot

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:57 | 3566177 AustrianJim
AustrianJim's picture

I don't use condoms, so this isn't relevant to me.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:11 | 3566234 Major Major Major
Major Major Major's picture

Vanessa Kensington: Well, did you use protection?

Austin Powers: Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.

Vanessa Kensington: You know I meant 'did you use a condom'?

Austin Powers: No. Only sailors use condoms, baby.

Vanessa Kensington: Not in the 90's, Austin.

Austin Powers: Well they should, those filthy beggars. They go from port to port.

 

http://www.anyclip.com/movies/austin-powers-international-man-of-mystery/fighting-with-vanessa/#!quotes/

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:59 | 3566180 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

they forgot to consifscate the "Long Dong's"- brand...

POW!!!!!!

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:01 | 3566181 fuu
fuu's picture

$1.67/condom?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:15 | 3566258 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

no, comes with egg roll.  you want brown rice?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:40 | 3566866 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

$1.67 pricings inclusory of buffet deliciously.

Thu, 05/16/2013 - 21:54 | 3571441 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

come with happy ending

HAPPY ENDING!!

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 15:59 | 3566182 omi
omi's picture

Nothing to do with FED on this one. Just plain shitty farmers figured out how make look-alikes.

Those people are very creative but completely lack any business ethic.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:01 | 3566187 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Bengazi Balloons...

"Just when you think you're safe."

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:03 | 3566201 akak
akak's picture

God, does this mean that there are going to be dozens of little AnAnonymouses running around China soon, blobbing-up all the poisoned baby formula in sight?

Make me laugh!

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:07 | 3566217 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Sometimes I wish I could draw cartoons...

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:29 | 3566314 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

When was the last reported siting of AnAnon?

You and Stoogings tag team on him was something I found very therapeutic.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:53 | 3566417 General Decline
General Decline's picture

I always love a stooging - anannomys - akak sandwich. Frankly, I can't get enough.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:30 | 3566803 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Typical US 'american' citizen eternal nature. Superior lunchtimes eatment with house special Shanghai Kitten Crispy at JKC* famously.

 

*Just Killed Cat, Chinese citizenism fastfood chain of repute the greatness.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 19:53 | 3567207 General Decline
General Decline's picture

@ Stooging - welcome. I thought you would never get here.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:50 | 3566408 General Decline
General Decline's picture

@ akak - you will ALWAYS. Get a gratuitous up arrow from me when you use the phrase "blobbing up" in a post. Always.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:01 | 3566431 akak
akak's picture

Made me laugh!

US 'american' middle-king-class semantical blobbing-up eternal nature is the mattering thing, very much something.  Since 4 July,1776.

Alas,alas, three erect inches alas, just have to bear with it.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:59 | 3566632 General Decline
General Decline's picture

I stopped reading at blobbing-up. There's your up arrow. Thank you very much.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:07 | 3566214 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

You ungateful plicks. One Chinese company tlying to fix demoglaphic ploblem and evelybody complain. World gone clazy.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:07 | 3566218 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Don't be so hard on the Chinese. Like their dinguses mimic those mini helium tanks in the pic. They can get by with a peanut shell and a rubber band.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:29 | 3566319 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Said hard on....

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:11 | 3566222 Killer the Buzzard
Killer the Buzzard's picture
1) Cover your stump before you hump 2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker 3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie 4) When in doubt, shroud you spout 5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner 6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong 7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it 8) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey 9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter 10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize 11) She won't get sick if you wrap your dick 12) If you go into heat, package your meat 13) While you're undressing Venus, dress up your penis 14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse 15) Especially in December, gift wrap your member 16) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker 17) Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool 18) The right selection, is to protect your erection 19) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil 20) A crank with armor, will never harm her 21) If you really love her, wear a cover 22) Don't make a mistake, cover your snake 23) Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener 24) If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket 25) No glove, no love 26) If you think she'll sigh, cover old one eye 27) Even If she's eager, protect her beaver 28) No one likes a horse's ass, protect yourself at climax 29) Shield her from the hunt until you shoot her in the cunt 30) Avoid a frown, contain your clown 31) Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam 32) Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed 33) Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink 34) The weasel you must surround before you please her on the ground 35) Cloak the joker before you poke her 36) Encase that torch before you paint her porch 37) Cape your throbber before you bob her 38) After detection, sheath your erection 39) Before you penetrate, hide your magistrate 40) Don't surprise her, plug your Geyser 41) Cover that lumber before you pump her 42) Protect her wrinkle before you sprinkle 43) She won't bristle if you wrap your whistle 44) House your noodle, then release your strudel 45) Put your dog in the pound and make her yelp like a hound 46) Shelter your jerky, then nab that turkey 47) Cage that snake, then shake and bake 48) Cover your peter, it will be much neater 49) Coat that Labrador, then allow him to explore 50) It's always funky to cage your monkey 51) It won't be funny with a coatless dummy 52) It won't be fun with an unwrapped thumb 53) It's not much money to catch your honey 54) Don't be a fool, cover your tool 55) Hood that match, then scratch that thatch 56) Stitch that switch, then itch her niche 57) Wrap that tool to catch the drool 58) It ain't no jibe to protect her hive 59) Contain that sputum before you use him 60) Restrain your log, then plow her bog 61) Glove your pecker before you check her 62) Coat that slimmer before you prime her 63) Condomize then womanize 64) Cover old pete, then grind her meat 65) Guard your peter before you meet her 66) Check your list before you tryst 67) Wrap your bate before you mate 68) Can your worm before you squirm 69) Cover your pipe you dumb ass wipe 70) Contain your lizard, then tickle her gizzard 71) Bag the mole, then do her hole 72) Cuff your carrot before you share it 73) Jail your number, then call the plumber 74) Cover your vein, then drive her insane 75) Wrap that pickle, then slip her a tickle 76) Protect your dink, then fluff her mink 77) Restrain your lantern, then stick it in her cavern 78) Hide ole harry, then take her cherry 79) Wrap that spout, then bore her out 80) Conceal your train, don't cause her pain 81) Guard your bridge, then do her ridge 82) Shroud your trout, then make her shout 83) To make her squat like a turkey, cover your Jerky 84) Box your blister, then poke her in the whiskers 85) Wrap your spout to catch the trout 86) Plug your funnel, then enter the tunnel 87) Cover your steamer before you ream her 88) Protect that fish, then dip it in the dish 89) Contain that bass for a swim in her glass 90) Be sure to wear it to feed her ferret 91) Clothe the boner before you hone her 92) Got no protection? Can't use your erection! 93) Cork your pump or you don't hump 94) No unwrapped stags get between her legs 95) Dress that erection to make a deflection 96) Contain that shanker before you spank her 97) Cap that seeder before you breed her 98) Stop the stream before you cream 99) Secure that ladder, then drain your bladder 100) Protect your screw to catch that glue 101) Package your meat for a real neat treat 102) Holster your gun, then shooting's more fun 103) Canvas that trailer before you nail her 104) Garage the tractor, then attack her 105) Net that grass hopper before you pop her 106) Sock that wanger before you bang her 107) Pen that rooster, she'll be much looser 108) Trim your hardwood, then do her real good 109) Garnish your oak, then give her a poke 110) Pouch your associate, then go fornicate 111) Smother your affiliate before you ejaculate 112) Confine your fascinate before it regurgitates 113) Catch that goat before it bloats 114) Ensnare that barbarian, then do her abdomen 115) Restrain your hammer, then wam bam her 116) Prune that stalk, then make her squawk 117) Wrap that rod, then please her bod 118) Sheath that knife, she ain't your wife 119) House that bottle, then mash her throttle 120) Sash that hash, then thrash that gash 121) Cover your diddle, then fiddle her middle 122) Can your knob, then throb her swab 123) Contain old Doug, then clean her rug 124) Cover your limb before you swim 125) Retain your bailer, then impail her 126) Rope your dope, then make some soap 127) Net your salamander, then make salad in her 128) Cap your flapper, then sniff her snapper 129) Wrap that Steed, then trample her weeds 130) Hat that chef, then scramble her cleft 131) Cover your stone before you bone 132) House your hose, then curl her toes 133) Saddle your penis, then straddle her mean ass 134) Blanket your twitch, then hump that bitch 135) Shield your rocks, then pound her box 136) Cover old sly, then do her dry 137) Wrap your rail, then fill her pail 138) Glove your chimney before you come in me 139) If your nude, tube your dude 140) Cloak your hitter, then go split her 141) Wrap your nipper before you dip her 142) Can your spam, then bam that ma'am 143) Corral your ram, then slice her ham 144) Sheath your sliver, then jab her liver 145) Twist your wick, then stick that prick 146) Cover old Bart, then dart her tart 147) Shed old spot, then do her slot 148) Drawer your pip, then split her lips 149) Contain that leach, then mash her peach 150) Bag your elm, then take the helm 151) Constrain your gem to catch the flem 152) Catch that head cheese, or I won't spread these 153) Constrain that agate you ain't no faggot 154) Survey your land, then plant her stand 155) Before you drive her, protect that diver 156) Sack that slimy smelt, then tan her beaver pelt 157) Wrap that stiffer, then let him sniff her 158) Cover you post, then slice her roast 159) Blanket old juicy, then plug old loosey 160) Balloon your baboon, the moon tune her poon 161) Contain that viper before you pipe her 162) Wrap your whopper, then go bop her
Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:17 | 3566263 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Youve been waiting patiently to unleash this list haven't you?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:23 | 3566284 Zen Bernanke
Zen Bernanke's picture

Way too much free time.......

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:27 | 3566304 monad
monad's picture

Go Navy

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:25 | 3566297 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

Dikipedia?

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:32 | 3566818 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

163) Blob up into Jissbon

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:13 | 3566244 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Time for a joke.
Dwarf goes into pharmacy and asks for the biggest condom. Pharmacist tells him that the biggest condom is four feet long and that it will take a week to be ordered in.

Dwarf returns a week later and pays for condom. He proceeds to unwrap it and then slides it over his head all the way down to his ankles.

Dwarf asks in muffled voice, "how do I look?"

Pharmacist answers, "well you look like a big prick"

Dwarf replies in muffled tone, "that's good,....I'm sick and tired of being called a little cunt".

My apologies if I have offended anyone with a 35 year old joke.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:01 | 3566379 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

Lemme check.
You can't use the c word,
but you can spy and harass.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:14 | 3566252 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

It's actually a Catholic conspiracy.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:30 | 3566322 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Epic.

I played that for my English mom, who was more Catholic than the Pope and she almost pissed herself she was laughing so hard.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:15 | 3566482 Seahorse
Seahorse's picture

10 child policy

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:15 | 3566254 DutchR
DutchR's picture

So condoms are like dollars....

 

 

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:35 | 3566345 Joe Sixpack
Joe Sixpack's picture

...both are elastic. Both are in large supply. But dollar still operates under extreme pressure.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:19 | 3566265 Clayton Bigsby
Clayton Bigsby's picture

They have condoms called JizzBomb? Awesome!

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:30 | 3566323 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Old song:

'Grandfather sells cheap prophalactics,

He punctures the head with a pin.

Grandmother gets rich from abortions,

My God how the money rolls in.'

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:32 | 3566335 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Japan condoms are top notch... but they are so small I have to cut the end off them to make 'em fit!!

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:40 | 3566368 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Now I'm off to read Wolf's article about "the Hollowing Out of Chinese Manufacturing".

 

I sense a trend here.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 16:43 | 3566376 mike.k
mike.k's picture

That will put some Lead in your pencil

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:01 | 3566444 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

Destined for the US, probably causes cancer and death to the users.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:23 | 3566508 azengrcat
azengrcat's picture

Penny wise, 18 years of child support foolish

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:47 | 3566581 monad
monad's picture

You still don't get Obamacare

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 17:52 | 3566578 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

On another humorous note, here is an Irish Poem about the Seattle Dribbler, R. Swanson, who decided to dribble a soccer ball from Washington to Brazil:

Swanson Song

A Seattle man liked to dribble.

Can't figure out why, but won't quibble.

But he had some bad luck

And got hit by a truck. . .

A highway is no place to fribble!

 

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

(PS: YES, there is such a word as "fribble" and it has been around for close to 400 years!!!)

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fribble

 

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 18:34 | 3566830 forwardho
forwardho's picture

True history; during the lend lease program with Russia during wwII the russians asked for condoms. knowing they would be needed, and wanting to goose the U.S. they asked for the condoms to be 16 inches long. The U.S. manufacturers filled the order as specified. The condoms were made and placed in packages clearly marked in cyrillic... size- SMALL.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 19:13 | 3567035 reTARD
reTARD's picture

I came here for the comments. But the question that no one is asking: what kind of sex were the public health authorities from Ghana having?

"When we tested these condoms..."

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 19:42 | 3567154 SqueekyFromm
SqueekyFromm's picture

What kind of sex were they having??? OH, I have been drinking and I just wrote an Irish Poem for that! But this one is naughty, so read it at your own risk if you are delicate.

Anti-Phylactics???

There once was a maiden from Ghana,

Who had sex in a seaside cabana.

The condom, from China,

Burst in her vagina.

She found herself knocked-up manana.

 

Squeeky Fromm, Risque Girl Reporter

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 20:55 | 3567403 Blue Dog
Blue Dog's picture

Even good condoms are a terrible choice for birth control and a joke when it comes to disease prevention. 10% of couples who use them as their sole source of birth control experience a pregnancy each year. A woman can get pregnant only a few days a month yet you can get a STD the first time you have unprotected sex. Want to prevent getting an STD? Don't have sex with someone you're not married to.

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 21:05 | 3567446 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

There are even special condoms for WOMEN!

 

http://www.thefrisky.com/2009-05-21/rapex-anti-rape-condoms-turn-your-vag-into-a-penis-fly-trap/

 

Has dozens of sharp plastic teeth that embed themselves in the penis of any man foolish enough to rape a Rapex wearing woman.

Sort of like a roach motel for penises.    You check in but can't check out.   The ZIRP of condoms. 

Wed, 05/15/2013 - 21:57 | 3567573 W T F II
W T F II's picture

They saw demographic trends and took matters into their own hands (and other extremities)

ps. The Whole Society Is A Criminal Enterprise

Thu, 05/16/2013 - 21:46 | 3571425 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

boosting Chinese 'citizenism' is the mattering reasoned to 'use' better condoms for more roadside action!
- AnAnonacondom

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!