Humpday Humor: The Rise Of China's Counterfeit Condoms

Tyler Durden's picture

Fake iPhones - who cares? Fake Gucci handbags - spread the wealth? But fake condoms is going too far. As China Daily reports, a underground workshop producing fake brand-name condoms was busted after police found clues on an online marketplace. Police confiscated more than 2 million bogus condoms labeled Jissbon, Durex and Contex. While a knock-off prophylactic is priced at 1 yuan (16 cents), it costs less than 0.2 yuan to produce.

In February, police noticed that prices of brand-name condoms were unreasonably low on one online store, and they bought some products (just to check we are sure). As Bloomberg adds, in April, public health authorities from Ghana impounded more than 1 million substandard condoms, many of them imported from China. “When we tested these condoms, we found that they are poor quality, can burst in the course of sexual activity, and have holes which expose the users to unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease."

The production of the fake condoms was so simple that the 50-square-meter workshop could produce 20,000 counterfeits a day.

Thirty-seven suspects were arrested, and more than 4.65 million fake condoms with an estimated value of 47.7 million yuan were seized in the joint operation.

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alphamentalist's picture

the article failed to mention that they were all size small

rajat_bhatia's picture

Good for us, more cheaper labor in the decades to come

metastar's picture

A BILLION Chinese using fake condoms. Who would have thought such a thing cound be true??

SilverIsKing's picture

It explains how there are a billion Chinese.

FEDbuster's picture

"the article failed to mention that they were all size small"

If they were, and they were selling them in Africa it's no wonder that they were breaking.

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Jissbon?  What kind of confidence would even the real brand give you...?

knukles's picture

Everything is fucked up beyond repair.

could I please have the rat's penis sautee special?

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Jissbon and Durianex engorged story have the interest muchso.

Gives with Jissbon sunglassery image having modness. On Durianex with surveyors have sexs on the Chineses People's Daily "per capita sexual partners as 19.3, while with the most gloomy sex ardour."

Wisdomary on "Chinese view on sex arouses introspection among Westerners."

Can truth exist upon this perplexively?

malikai's picture

Chinese medicine explains why there are over a billion Chinese.

francis_sawyer's picture

He's got the Midas Touch... But he touched it too much... He's 'GOLDSCHMEMBER'...


RafterManFMJ's picture

The easiest way to tell if a condom is real is to look at the serial number or company logo on it.

The Big Ching-aso's picture

A leak here a leak there and pretty soon you're mistakened for a Catholic or a Mormon.

FEDbuster's picture

Well if someone's going to be a cheap fucker and buy counterfeit condoms, they can at least double bag it.

DaveyJones's picture

Where the rubber meets the road

but the scheme went off half cocked

when they stretched their luck too thin

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Ah, ah, where rubber meeting roadside and deteriorate in withering stench.

Colonel Klink's picture

Apparently most don't have to roll it down that far.  I see the serial number/logo every time. ;o)

prains's picture

fake or not, why can't the chinese build anything that actually works?? it's not rocket science to build a rubber tube that works?? everything they build is built to last less than a minute, the purchase to failure cycle is now measure in nano's. <golf clap>

pods's picture

Here I was thinking that I was just STRONG LIKE BULL.

Oh well.  <strokes ego>


Freddie's picture

It is all about building things at the lowest possible price.   It does not matter that it works.  As long as the buyer thinks it might work and gets a good price.

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

But, like a Chinese bearing, it has to fit...

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Sagacity of Confucius recommend the bearinggrease applyment judiciously.

freewolf7's picture

Planned obsolescence, taken to the extreme.

The Big Ching-aso's picture

I've never heard of anyone returning a defective used condom.  The Chinese probably didn't see much downside risk as a result.

Mine Is Bigger's picture

I have a stick glue that was made in Japan.  I bought this more than 15 years ago.  And I can still use this.

I had six stick glues that were made in China.  All of them became unusable in less than six months.

Stick glue...  It's such a simple thing. But I guess the Chinese culture is all about making money now, and it shows.

Cathartes Aura's picture

US corporations using cheap Chinese labour for maximum profits - has more to do with amrkn "culture" than chinese. . .

malikai's picture

Funny, I suspect that machine you are using was built to work for more than a minute. Guess where it's made?

The broad brush doesn't work.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Chineses do the buildment with provided US citizen 'american' specificationality to accord diligently.

The_Dude's picture

everything they build is built to last less than a minute

That's all the time I I guess perfectly planned efficiency

Stuart's picture

little wonder why there's over a billion of them....

IndyPat's picture

Only + 2 for this?

This is Golden. Beat me to it.

killallthefiat's picture

In reality, this is bullish for China.  They have a population problem (aging) created by the abortion loving and euthanizing globalists.  Once the Chinese overthrow their gubmint, for the benefit of the people, it will be good to have a next generation...non?

Overfed's picture

Jissbon. Ya' just couldn't make that one up! ;-)

bania's picture

They bought out Comegood Inc. last quarter!

Freddie's picture

I hope Marc Faber is not buying counterfeit Jissbon rubbers when he goes to Bang-Cock.

McMolotov's picture

I only read this article because I was hoping the CEO's name would be Wang or Dong.

DaveyJones's picture

It was Mr. Long who first reported a problem

but the company said it was his fault

LeisureSmith's picture

Hello my name is monsieur Jizz Good.

Agent P's picture

I would have gone with Jizzblock, but that's just me.

Also, I'm pretty sure the condoms in the picture were meant for the export market...unless it's one of those trick photography angles or something.

The Big Ching-aso's picture

"Man who scrimp on cheap condom deserve 18 years of expensive mistake."



TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Jissbon. Ya' just couldn't make that one up!

Jissbon shortening of named originality. Initial nomenclaturizement being Jiss In Lotus Blossom Blooming On Nighttime Propitiously Gives The Containment.

Shorted name the necessity to fit in label with traditional Chinese citizenism packaging thumbnail sized famously.

fonzannoon's picture

It's a little known fact that the entire 2pm hour CNBC crew are the byproduct of a CNBC holiday party that used these.

Look it up.