SACked: Cohen Considers Closing

Tyler Durden's picture

It appears that the noose is tightening and the wobbly-chair that Steve Cohen is standing on is getting wobblier... As Bloomberg reports, after five years under investigation for insider trading Steve Cohen is considering a 'deal' with prosecutors that would shut his $15 billion fund to outside investors and (as we noted this morning) shift a family (friends and employees) office.


The deferred prosecution is intriguing as "when a company enters into a DPA with the government, or an NPA for that matter, it almost always must acknowledge wrongdoing..." and the clock is ticking with the statute of limitations up at the end of July.

And as so often happens, what we said this morning, turned out to be spot on: "All of which simply means that Cohen will merely convert into a "friend, employees and family" office: at last check just the employees had billions of their own cash invested in the hedge fund."

In other words, while implicitly admitting guilt for trading on illegal information for decades, the government will be generous enough to leave Stevie his ill-gotten $8+billion, which like Soros, will be the sole source of cash in the former hedge fund titan's ongoing attempts to corner assorted "expertly networked" markets. You know, with "information arbitrage"...

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Godisanhftbot's picture



I don't think he means phone.

King_of_simpletons's picture

This is in anticipation of jail time with the other criminals, no ?

Zero Govt's picture

when the Govt prosecutes you you know you must be doing something right ...righter than the crooks behind Govt that use it to nobble competition

another company looks like being shuttered by Govt regulators, meanwhile on Wall Street all the banking gambling bums are propped up and playing on 

let's hear it for capitalism chaps, it just doesn'¡t get better than this, well blow me if New York banking isn't rammed with State-aid socilaists!!

Freddie's picture

Cohen, Corzine and banksters need to be hanging from lamp posts.

Zero Govt's picture

ditto the rest of New York

BTW Corzine was just the fall guy for JPM ..we couldn't have Walll Street Golden Balls(up) be first to hang now could we

obviously there's a US Ivy League pecking order. Being a Democrat, socialist and the No.1 top economic advisor to President Bumma like Corzine does not rank higher than the by day walking and talking like a capitalist Jamie D who by night nips down to the State-aid candy store for taxpayer handouts for his gambling losses 

Hard1's picture

Brilliant!  The penalty for using inside information to make a fortune is to limit your activities to managing your fortune.

centerline's picture

He is really getting it rough too compared to the likes of others.  Must have really pissed off the wrong person.


Dr Benway's picture

Harsh deterrence indeed. This will surely discourage others from making the market an even fouler cesspool than it already is.

FL_Conservative's picture

Exactly!  What a deal!  Where do I sign up?

thismarketisrigged's picture

i hope he loses all his ilegally earned money.


sadly he will not lose anything

rum_runner's picture

Commit a felony, pay a fine, change business model, go home, sleep on big pile of cash.  <yawn>  Nothing to see here.  

ziggy59's picture

Its almost like the inmates running the asylum...

IamtheREALmario's picture

Change inmates to criminal psychopaths and I think you have it.

knukles's picture


Much worse than a psycho

Disenchanted's picture

from that link:




These vapid apologetics draw Maria Bartiromo’s stammering, nodding approval: As you said earlier, stupidity does not mean criminality.


Bethany: Greed and venality do not make a criminal case.

There are two remarkable items about Bethany’s performance. First, note the air of confidence she exudes when in fact (as will become clear) she has essentially no idea of what she is talking about (hence the expression “a journalistic understanding”). Second, note that Bethany is apparently unaware that the man she is debating on-air, Professor William K. Black, knows a lot about what she is talking about. In fact, he is perhaps the nation’s foremost expert on precisely the issue she and Maria are trying to spin to Goldman’s behalf: the federal prosecution of white collar crime at financial institutions.


Professor Black continues like a gentle professor with two weak students: Critical area here…. First, I’m the type of person that was involved in training the FBI agents, the assistant US attorneys, serving as the expert witness in these successful prosecutions where we had a 90% successful rate. Um, clearly people are not understanding fraud mechanisms. In accounting control fraud, the firm – loses – money. Indeed that is one of the defining elements because the way you maximize it is by making bad loans. And Goldman did make liar’s loans, it did it through subsidiaries, and Goldman purchased loans that it knew to be fraudulent, and it packaged them and sold them as if they were good loans. This belief that this is the first virgin crisis in which fraud was not driving it is amazing. Nobody believes it about the savings and loan debacle. No one believes it about the Enron era fraud. And given what you’ve seen in the last three weeks, how can you believe it out of the current…”

Bethany appears to panic slightly then, unable to respond substantively to a single one of Black’s arguments, simply locks into a repetitive, droning regurgitation of the talking points she just delivered a moment earlier (which amplifies my suspicion that some Goldman PR flack gave them to her to memorize). Behold Bethany McLean’s verbatim analysis of legal culpability in the greatest financial collapse of our lifetime (so far):


Maria, I think there was a hue and a cry and a lot of political pressure to bring charges in this case. And I think that if they could have, they would have. And I don’t think that any of our interests are served… I think it’s just as dangerous to bring a case that shouldn’t be made as to not bring a case that should be made. Neither one helps with the integrity of the financial system. I agree – peoples’ behavior during this crisis was unethical, it was abhorrent, it was every word you can come up with for ‘wrong.’ But if you are going to bring a case against Goldman Sachs you have to bring a case against every single other Wall Street firm as well as every mortgage originator as well as every home owner who lied on his or her mortgage application. You cannot single out one firm and say we are going to charge Goldman and we’re not bringing charges against everybody else. That’s wrong.

Maria Bartiromo: That’s a great point.

 William Black (like a professor exasperated with dull students he can no longer humor): No, it’s not a great point. It’s a terrible point. You’ve got to start with somebody. Your first prosecution is always your first prosecution. And you can always say where there’s been an epidemic of fraud…”


Enabling and furthering 'God's Work' can be daunting for some of the useful idiots, shills and shiksa presstitutes dotting the modern landscape.

CharliePrince's picture

political donation= freedom from hassles

Common_Cents22's picture

just raise a few hundred grand of other peoples money and you can literally rip off over a billion from MF global account holders and get away with it, like Corzine.

kragsquest's picture

OK, Steve.  Cough up all the money to the government, liquidate all assets, name names, accomplises and let us know where the bodies are buried, then we may show some lenience....

disabledvet's picture

if your modus vivendi is to trade on inside info...and that's what you're agreeing to admit to vis a vis the Feds (and if this actually happens great job Feds) then obviously you will be as pecuniary as possible in naming names. something tells me though..."once a's open the floodgates" as well. definitely want to avoid the Big House that's fer sure if your SAC et al. if your the Fed's though...that's exactly where you want your mark. story still will be interesting to see the details as "God" closes in on "mo' money."

ParkAveFlasher's picture

I'm totally getting my own fund.

1) Con people into depositing funds.

2) Tell them it pays out in x years, with penalty for early withdrawal.

3) Use part of the funds to bribe officials and local justice.

4) Hide remaining funds in private accounts.

5) Head for the hills after x-1 years, hire lawyer, pay 1% fine.  DONE.

ziggy59's picture

...uh, no hills in the Hamptons, except Shinnecock Hills

IamtheREALmario's picture

The money is not worth the negative Karma.

besnook's picture

you play the risk karma will be paid back in your next life as a beaten stray dog.

ziggy59's picture

Hmm...wonder if the Further Lane EH real estate deal was pushed through quickly for a reason...

How come when drug dealers, pimps, and other illegally claimed wealth gets confiscated, and when crimes done by wall street bangers and policos, nada...fucking nothing?

IamtheREALmario's picture

I am not sure how Stevie Cohen going from a fund that accepts outside money to one that caters to familiy and friends changes the fact that he is most likely the slimiest of the slime ... slime even regards him as slime. I say prosecute him to the max! Take away every single asset that he and the family and friends have accumulated through his illegal and unethical acts and then send him to Guantanemo to get buggered over and over again by Arabs (although they woul probably consider his "pork" too unclean to touch)... making sure that the key to his cage gets lost in the process.

SmittyinLA's picture

If there's a statute of limitations the game is to run out the clock, say agree to anything, then stall. 

b_thunder's picture

SAC:  too big to shut down.  $15B liquidation would neutralize the Fed's entire week's POMO firepower!


besnook's picture

crime pays, as long as it is well organized within a system of criminals including the criminal crime fighters. the mafia is jealous and upset they did not take that territory first.

optimator's picture

If I ever get in trouble with the law I'll have to remember  DEFERRED PROSECUTION.

Zero Govt's picture

try being a Democrat and top "go to" economic advisor to the White House like Corzine and you can upgrade your immunity package to NEVER PROSECUTED

Lmo Mutton's picture

Do you get to keep all 4 legs or are you a stray with just 3 legs?

I weighing the odds in my BS model.

q99x2's picture

House him with Madoff at the penitentiary for the criminally insane. Re-distribute his stolen wealth. Oops there goes another waterbug. Movin movin movin. Keep them doggies rollin...

kragsquest's picture

Who wants to bet we see a variation on the theme of the Samuel Israel solution?  

kchrisc's picture

Based on what I have learned here at Zerohedge, sounds like Cohen's only crime was not insider trading with Goldman or JPM and didn't pay them their "share."


newengland's picture

Cohen is typical of most of the world. His problem is that he lived and lied in the U.S. where there is accountability, sometimes, not always.

Billions of U.S. taxpayer money gone missing in the Middle East and Israel and Europe. Enjoy your world, thieves.

MachineMan's picture

Will he have to return his newly aquired artwork, or will that be grandfathered into the deal?

newengland's picture

Another example of the BIS losing its grip.

Jail this bastid or ruin him financially.

Confidence in the system is paramount.

And stop whining, traders. You have nothing without some oversight. You only complain when you lose. Like Mad-off with the money, and whining about penalties. MF Global: sharks feeding off each other.

willmont's picture

And pbs start shopping the SAC book for unwind squeezes in 3, 2, 1....

dunce's picture

Big sale at Organizing for obama, get your prosecution deferred at discounted prices for a limited time only. Terms up in 2016.