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Forecasting Today's Closing Print
In a world in which everything is scientific and algorithmic, here is today's calculation-based, and thus 100% accurate, prediction of where the S&P will close.
h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer
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Did'nt we have a 300 point drop the last time the FOMC minutes were released? Im looking forward to 2pm!
What about M^2 + more M^2 = Higher Au
No, you forgot to subtract SM, smoke and mirrors.
Got to have a little dip here and there in the carnival ride, or else it's just boring and people get off.
What better time than 100% complacent market to rip em off a little bit? Gotta generate a bit of yield somehow.
1670-1675 only because I expect Bullard to be a little bit of a turd today.
=1,700?
New all time highs, yaaay!!!
it's in the bag :roll:
But who will buy those bonds and keep the sorvereign ponzi-government going? this the 50-80 trillion dollar question.
"but, but, but, you're black??"
Never underestimate the ignorance of the sheeple. My baby boomer parents still think Gov't bonds are the safest asset you can own. Unable to comprehend the notion of currency devaluation, and price/yield inverse relationship.
Where is that "investing for dummy's sheeple" book whne you need it??
Sorry, the fact is that the majority of those baby-boomers who are fortunate to actually have investment capital already have allocated/purchased all the bonds they feel comfortable with. The other fact is that 52% of the population has no "skin" in this corrupt bullshit game to begin with, they just "swipe that EBT". The 900 lb gorilla here is the unfunded liabilities, period. The puppets/criminals in D.C. continue to wage useless wars and enrich themselves, yet the liabilities continues to grow, exponentially. That which cannot be sustained, won't be. Hedge accordingly, personally I am long sharecropping...
We will through the conversion of our 401ks and IRAs.
I see! I see! said the blind man to his deaf seeing eye dog at the busy intersection...
52% of the population does nothing but "swipe that EBT", they have no fucking idea what a 401k or IRA is. Good fucking luck with that logic.
Thank you Tyler.
Fuck you Bernanke.
But, but - similar to street garbage collection and the holiday Monday we just had - will this now be pushed out to Wednesday this week?
Bernanke and Krugman are POMOs.
I *heart* POMO.
-The JP Morgue & Muppet Master Lloyd.
Unfortunately, the tornado doodle in the margin was cut off.
Apparently, someone who is left-handed cracked the secret code.
This Tyler is either writing left handed or s/he has the handwriting of an adolescent with possible HNS.
here's my close: "mmmmm. Grapes of Wrath. My favorite."...pause...."i hear there in season."....pause, chewing sound...talking with mouth full..."yeah they're pretty good." ideally with slobbering girl vs hoight toighty boy as casting. set: basically a balsa wood table and a couple of rickety chairs...two people who "really don't get each other." sex...let along conversation...not looking good. by all means for those wishing to complete this scene...and movie...
Funny you should mention that. I just started Grapes last night. Haven't read it in 35 years or so. Tom Joad just now talkin' to the preacher under the willow tree. This following a string of other great novels from our time: Lord of the Flies, The Stranger, Lady Chatterley's Lover....I think my disposition has become more 'escapist' since obimmer took over, because all the hope & change talk had no substance - none - and yet so many seemed to grasp at it like it was messiah time. Can't freakin' believe it, now, 5 years on and folks are just now starting to get the picture of what an incompetent lout he is and how terrible the Fed can be - all in the name of 'saving' us. Right. I'd sooner be saved by a Papua cannibal. This can not possibly end well - and end it will; on our collective necks.
After decades of typing, my handwriting looks like that too.
Ditto. Mom told me I should've been a doctor.
OT: Evil doer Schumer caught on a hot mike during an Amnesty bill markup vote asking, "Do OUR Republicans have a pass on this one?"
http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-TV/2013/05/20/Hot-Mic-Catches-Schumer...
Oh sure, the whole 'dem/rep' 2 team nonsense is just sports teams for the ultra dumb...all completely fake.
Amateur, Goldman's crystal ball can see much further
Already futures have wiped out all of yesterdays tiny drop, and then some! YIPEE! Land of make-believe and free candy RULEZ!
Q.E.(D)
I've been quite profitable with this fat Tuesday observation by ZH.
Until the day they decide it's a great time for shearing all the 'sure thingers' and reverse it.
We need a Black Swan Tuesday, one where the market ends flat, or (gasp) down 0.1%.
Fool me, I thought all the Green Shoots propaganda was about electric cars and solar panels. Now I realize it's all about closing green on the S&P 500.
So simple even a 3 year old figured it out.
Just in time! A new word - "Taper" - for everyone to pivot off of reality on.
Will Bernanke "Taper"? Egads! What does it mean?! What will happen?! Will he!?!?
They may as well look at the color and consistency of his stool or observe the level of his bilious humour.
More fucking insanity, more blah-blah, more perception management with a malange of histrionic verbiage and hand-wringing.
And we're off! Up 1% by day's end?
Buy SPY and retire in July.
Tables open....$50 on red, bitchez!!!
Your equation is wrong. The "Tuesday" should be "Monday".
All wrong! That is a power function. It ought to be exponential!
When the bears start to trade Tuesday's ramp for a short term profit it's game over for that one. There will be no one to squeeze.
mark this... pomo^infinity = a new constant taught in 7th grade math.
Gotta start 'em young!
And anyone homeschooled will require a red cirle badge...