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Blast To The Future: December 31, 2013 Market Summary

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Tuesday, December 31 (Bloomturd) - U.S. stocks rose, with the Standard & Poor's 500 Index recovering from earlier losses, after data showed consumer confidence rose to the highest level since 1929 and home prices jumped the most in recorded history.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average rallied 0.8% to 23,115.69 at 4 p.m. in New York. Trading volume on the NYSE was light, with total shares traded falling to the lowest level since the exchange was temporarily closed for World War I.

"At the end of the day, there is just too much negativity out there. People are concerned about falling earnings estimates, Europe, and what happens when the Fed begins to taper, but prices just keep going up," said chief investment strategist Jim Stallsem. "When prices go up, the market rises. It's as simple as that."

The market has rallied every trading session since the exchanges decided to close on days not named Tuesday earlier this year. As of today's session, stocks have closed up 51 Tuesdays/trading days in a row. Veteran floor trader Art Smashin questions whether the one-trading-day week is constructive. "Well, let's just say I'm burning through a lot more ice cubes these days".

Prominent strategist Shaggy Yusuf Cohen pointed to comments by Fed Chairman Dick Dickyanke in his recent testimony to congress. In response to whether the Fed has any tools left now that its balance sheet is above $5 trillion and it owns every outstanding Treasury issue, the chairman replied "Fuck it. I mean, we can just buy houses and shit directly. It's like, that's the whole point anyway, right?"

Most investors interpret his comments as confirmation that the "Dickyanke Put" is firmly in place and are beginning to extrapolate this year's gains based on the number of Tuesdays in 2014. Market technician Laszlo Shrill, for example, points out that his redesigned Tuesday Ruler points to a 171% gain for stocks in calendar 2014.

 

(h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer)

 

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Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:07 | 3606009 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

In other news, Becky blew Warren on the air and no one noticed, including Warren.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:13 | 3606028 beaker
beaker's picture

VERY GOOD, RAND!!!

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:13 | 3606034 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I'm here all week.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:47 | 3606152 Crisismode
Crisismode's picture

In other news:

 

The destruction of Iran by American and Israeli forces was met with sleepy yawns by Russia and China.

The World Economy now consists of 1500 families owning 99.9% of the worlds wealth, while the rest of Earth's population are slowing starving to death.

Massive food riots across all major metropolitan areas across the globe have been met with massive military intervention with live ammunition used on crowds daily, resulting in tens of thousands of native populations dying each hour.

Dancing With The Stars has reached massive Global eyeball connections with nightly views in excess of 4 Billion viewers across the world.

 

 

 

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:52 | 3606170 prains
prains's picture

Jamie Dimon is President of the Various States of Detroitification and prefers to wear an open bathrobe when addressing the nation.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:57 | 3606185 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Talk about a flash crash.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:04 | 3606214 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

An esteemed member of high finance.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:12 | 3606234 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

And talk about a club in which I don't want to be a member.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:27 | 3606263 ShortTheUS
ShortTheUS's picture

"(Bloomturd)"

 

That's NOT his name...

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:37 | 3606275 erg
erg's picture

Blast To The Future: Heart Paddles

Or some nitroglycerin to cure it or failing that - may the good Lord take a shining to ya and blow you up real good. SCTV

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:11 | 3606351 akak
akak's picture

Dec. 31, 2013: "In other news, COMEX eligible gold inventories are up 11% today, to 24 ounces, after the CME raised margins on gold futures for the 45th time this year, to 1350%.  The chairman of the CME assured the public that "the precious metals markets remain fully transparent and liquid" after it was quietly announced that the current average estimated delay on contract deliveries has risen to 47 years."

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 02:08 | 3606485 Pareto
Pareto's picture

+100.....after it was quietly announced that the current average estimated delay on contract deliveries has risen to 47 years."

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 05:32 | 3606589 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

In other news, world leaders were briefly concerned when Dr. Evil threatened to destroy the planet unless he was given "One Hundred Trillion Dollars," but the crisis was defused when Ben Bernanke stepped up to a mic and said, "No problem ... I've got this covered."

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 08:32 | 3606887 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

22 years from December 31st, aliens on a planet 22 light years away wonder why Earth suddenly went dark.

Riots ensue on the streets of ZelMac demanding that "Being Paul Krugman" (a reality show with a similar format to The Truman Show) is off the air.

 

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:38 | 3606637 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

I like the lone down vote and did not realize until now that Dimon follows ZH.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 08:30 | 3606896 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

Ditto for Becky

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 10:35 | 3607352 prains
prains's picture

you nailed it ned>LOL

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:41 | 3606393 Quantum Nucleonics
Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Oh please!!!  Our Dear Leader can't even decide whether or not to fire off a few cruise missiles at Syria.  He waited till the last moment when he thought it would cost him politically to go into Libya.  He even had to get a permission slip from Valerie Jarrett to whack Bin Laden.  You guys think he's going to bomb Iran?  Not a chance.

Iran for all practical purposes is a nuclear state now.  They can go to 90% on the U235 enrichment whenever they want, and they are almost certainly covertly making Pu239 in their now functioning reactor.  Israel's window of opportunity to attack Iran has passed.  Iran has a working bomb design from the Khan group, and probably has testing data from NK.  Iran should be regarded as a nuclear power.  Well see what the next president does about it.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:38 | 3606456 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Let's hope the next Wall Street bankers puppet, sorry US President, does absolute zero about Iran

he should take a long hard look at the US Govts books, determine he's stone cold broke, that war is too costly to finance despite the village idiot of global economics, Paul Krugman, saying war is wizzo for the economy

then he should sit down with his Foreign Policy advisors and the biggest global terrorist organisation in the world, the CIA, and have a long hard look at the US's diabolical foreign policies that have failed miserably seemingly forvever meddling in other nations affairs

once the penny drops he's too bankrupt to go to war and too stupìd to effect any changes abroad he can concentrate on his main task, balancing a budget by cutting the vandal of the US economy, the US Govt, down to size

Eat humble pie for a change Mr Bwankers Puppet, would make a change from delusional out-of-control-ego that's the usual CV for US Presidents

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 04:56 | 3606569 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

The war-mongering propaganda seems to do much better on sites without up and down voting.

It is surprising in no way whatsoever.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 07:02 | 3606666 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

"Iran has a working bomb design from the Khan group, and probably has testing data from NK.  Iran should be regarded as a nuclear power.  Well see what the next president does about it."

~~~

Oh well, then we'll need the 'extended' timeline:

December 31, 2294: Iran celebrates the 1,000 year anniversary of not invading anyone since Kublai Khans death in 1294...

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:14 | 3606039 eigenvalue
eigenvalue's picture

In other news, gold barely closed at $10 per ounce and silver rallied by 1 cent from yesterday's $-90.01 closing at $-90 per ounce.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:16 | 3606047 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

BTFD

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:19 | 3606058 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

eigen just made me laugh that insane laugh.

"The aussie dollar was sold hard again as commodity currencies once again were thrown out. Great whites could be seen projectile vomiting surfers off the great barrier reef in dusgust".

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:36 | 3606120 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

That surfer is wafer thin.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:47 | 3606156 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

Fuck you Dickyanke!

 

 

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:50 | 3606163 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Garcon, get Monsieur Dickyanke a bucket.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 05:34 | 3606591 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

The losses were barely felt in the "developed" countries as all the physical gold in the world had gravitated to India and China.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:43 | 3606140 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Becky Quickie is impressed with all that money. No wonder Warren doubles up on  Viagra before he interviews with her.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:26 | 3606377 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

before looking forward to her providing dick-yanke

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:10 | 3606010 WayBehind
WayBehind's picture

Hell yeah bitches! To the mooooon! Perhaps it was written as entertainment piece but the author is not far from truth. Thats the only sad part ...

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:08 | 3606014 Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

I can't believe President Biden would appoint Dickyanke to run the Fed.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:18 | 3606054 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Someone dropped a Benny in his drink before the appointment.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:07 | 3606188 Dick Buttkiss
Dick Buttkiss's picture

That would be President Biden My Time, he being the perfect stooge to be hustled onto the stage just before the shit finally hits the fan.

Think Josh Brolin fading back, back, back in Oliver Stone's "W", only without a glove. 

And then comes . . . Shitler!

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:08 | 3606015 orez65
orez65's picture

"... Ruler points to a 171% gain for stocks in calendar 2014."

Ruler also points that McDonald's super value happy meal is expected to hold its price in 2014 at $199.99. 

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:51 | 3606305 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Thank God for that; I was afraid they might cost more than one 1964 silver quarter. But, no fear.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:31 | 3606447 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I love the hundred dollar menu.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:09 | 3606018 AssFire
AssFire's picture

Submitted by Onion Tyler no doubt.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:18 | 3606056 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

You mean TD's <sarc> twin, Dyler Turden?

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:36 | 3606115 SpiceMustFlow
SpiceMustFlow's picture

hahaha fuckin nice one

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:04 | 3606335 akak
akak's picture

Actually, that would be Dyden Turdler.

 

(Not to be confused with Biden le Turd.)

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:27 | 3606443 Dealyer Turdin
Dealyer Turdin's picture

Dropping Vowels like Towelz.

 

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:10 | 3606021 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

The NY Times reached out to Paul Krugman for comment but his response was "Baitin!!!"

"Fuck it. I mean, we can just buy houses and shit directly. It's like, that's the whole point anyway, right?"

Tyler is getting mad. It's about time.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:11 | 3606022 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Only 171%? Why do you have to be so pessimistic ?

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:13 | 3606035 Billy Shears
Billy Shears's picture

S/b M"art" Crashin.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:23 | 3606069 cnmcdee
cnmcdee's picture

OMFuck that is soo funny.. !!

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:23 | 3606072 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

"Dow Jones Industrial Average" ... what is the actual output of industries these days compared to the past?

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:29 | 3606444 Dealyer Turdin
Dealyer Turdin's picture

Radioactive Waste has gone up a LOT.

 

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:24 | 3606075 Atomizer
Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:25 | 3606077 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

The truth is even stranger than Tyler's fiction.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:28 | 3606089 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Pulp Club.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:06 | 3606341 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Fictional Fight

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:31 | 3606098 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

We are honestly crazy at this point to hope that markets somehow allow reality to shine through. The only way they can do that is to commit mass suicide. Since that ain't happening, just sit back and watch everyone go crazy on here as the Orwellian nightmare makes all of us reach our breaking point. Personally, I am holding out until Kito loses his shit. That is my goal.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:40 | 3606113 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'm holding out until I'm here posting by myself while at the same time the HFT robots are trading the one single publicly traded share of stock back and forth since every company has bought them all back with a share buy back program. I project the S&P will be trading around 5,000 and the ten year will have a - 10% yield.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:40 | 3606129 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

It's funny you say that Doc. You may be the last man standing. Ask Centerline about "The Long walk". I think you may be the winner. Although the prize ain't so great.

To be honest with you, I think the guys that bailed off here when ZH invoked their policy pussed out. It was a convenient reason to leave. I hope they change their minds and come back on here. God forbid someone new wanders on here like I did, they won't get the same education I was able to. That is a damn shame.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:44 | 3606144 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

Wow. Synchronicity at its finest.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:50 | 3606155 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

you said it 1C3.

Wow

"“That's the day's business. Thinking. Thinking and isolation, because it doesn't matter if you pass the time of day with someone or not; in the end, you're alone. He seemed to have put in as many miles in his brain as he had with his feet. The thoughts kept coming and there was no way to deny them.”"

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:53 | 3606175 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

When a handful of ZH'ers disappeared a couple weeks ago, I re-read The Long Walk because that was exactly what I was thinking at the time. People buying their tickets, voluntarily or otherwise. Then I found your convo with Centerline but it was about 6 hours after the fact so I didn't say anything.

There's something about that passage where Ray just falls down laughing, at the crowd watching him, just rolling around about to get his ticket and for a moment he just doesn't give a shit. It's all too damned fucking funny, beyond belief. Then McVries is all like, dude get the fuck up or you'll die.

This world is gonna need more McVries-es.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:59 | 3606196 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Yes it certainly is.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:10 | 3606231 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

I tend to liken "pods" to the McVries type. Sensible man, that pods.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:44 | 3606289 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Y'all have a link to 'The Long Walk' that you're talking about?  Sounds interesting.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:48 | 3606159 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I hear you. There have been a lot of people who left that newcomers could learn a lot from. It's too bad they chose to leave, but it certainly understandable. This crap can drag on you. There has been another think I've noticed , and that is the diversity of ideas. I noticed that most liberals have left, and even though I can never agree with their philosophy,reading their posts at least helped me understand where they were coming from. I don't think living in an echo chamber is always what's best for the dissemination of information.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:51 | 3606167 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I'm here for you, man.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:03 | 3606195 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

There is, of course, no escape. How would it be? Trapped forever with a raging madman at your throat until time itself came to a stop?

~Captain Kirk

The Alternative Factor.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:03 | 3606213 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Icahn!!!!!!!!

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:52 | 3606169 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Yup. That is why LTER is such a badass. He sticks around and takes everyone on one by one. He does it with humor too. I am a big fan.

whoa fuck I had not seen LTER's response when I wrote this. Crazy.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:59 | 3606193 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

You're sync'ed in tonight, Fonz.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:06 | 3606223 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

It seems like we all are.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:06 | 3606217 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

"whoa fuck I had not seen LTER's response when I wrote this. Crazy."

I have an Engali algo.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:18 | 3606248 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

+ 1 Thanks for the chuckle. You're on a roll tonight.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:08 | 3606226 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Yeah where's orly? She finally got the gold call correct (although nobody called that April 500 ton paper ambush that I know of).

I still thought she'd come back here and rip my ass. ;)

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:12 | 3606235 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

My guess is Orly went fuckin nuts trading currencies. I have no idea how Yen Cross does it. I spent the first part of the year arguing with Truthinsunshine that the market may rally. He called me crazy. I believe he is several times more intelligent than I am. So I am convinced he went nuts too.

Hedgeless Horseman upsets me. He has his farm and what seems like complete self sustanability going for him. He should have stuck around.

Kito got gold right too, after he convinced me that QE3 would never happen.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:22 | 3606257 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Horseman surprised me. I thought he would be here to the end. I learned quite a bit from truthinsunshine. I was disappointed in seeing him go too.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:32 | 3606632 Esso
Esso's picture

Hedgeless_horseman's last post:

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-05-13/arabian-man-arrested-detroit-airport-owning-pressure-cooker#comment-3557059

Aaaaaaaad he's gone... A real man's man. No whining around, just stood by his principles and took the high road out.

There's only been a handful of souls on the InnerWebz I've encountered since 1998 that I would have liked to have met in person. He was one of them.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 17:05 | 3608553 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Wow, I didn't know that.

This place will die quickly if this Orwellian type policy is put into place.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:22 | 3606258 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Yeah, I like those guys too. That's a loss for ZH.

QE3? It has never stopped, and had little to do with gold falling. These markets are wrecked and devoid of any integrity they ever had.

Yes, I'm completely nuts too fonz...and will probably go to my grave clutching some gold and silver coins.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:51 | 3606306 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

Dumb question, but how do you know these guys are gone-gone?

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:08 | 3606349 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

I don't know why they left, or if they might come back. 

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:41 | 3606394 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

Just looked at a website that shows web traffic and ZH is down 25% in May from last month...

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:58 | 3606410 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

Conversely, JGB 10-year yield just took off. 0.96% now, after approaching 0.90% following lunch.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:22 | 3606436 virgule
virgule's picture

Perhaps they are not gone - just reading the ZH posting and skipping the comments?

As registered reader from the early days, I have to admit the comments often sound like a broken LP record. It's not a proper forum for real debates by constructive human participants. So I just fall back on the ZH postings - only. If anyone knows of a place / format on the web where real DISCUSSIONS take place, I'm interested.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 02:20 | 3606492 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

We don't all just go away.   I read almost everything but am sparing in the comments.  Too much drivel in some cases.  I guess I'm just in a light-hearted mood this evening and needed the humor.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 05:30 | 3606587 groundedkiwi
groundedkiwi's picture

Disappeared, or maybe Guantanamo? Patriot acted off the planet maybe. How would anyone know under this Fascism

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:40 | 3606641 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

You just never know. One day, a guy comes up behind you and puts a silenced .22 in the back of your head.

Hold on, there is a knock at the door.

 

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:34 | 3606449 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Unless the commentators stated they were bailing because of the policy, I wouldn't assume they have bailed. Orly can go months without a comment and then she pops back up. Same with MsCreant. I know my commenting is inversely correlated to how busy I am with family, business and just life in general.

I would guess that the policy was instituted to counter legal threats probably originating in Europe. I really can't see any of the posters mentioned above leaving because of it. 

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:48 | 3606464 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Just checked out the above commentators and they still seem to have active accounts:

http://www.zerohedge.com/search/user

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 07:13 | 3606692 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

all the people that have left, a little Galtist?  by the way where is John?

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:52 | 3606172 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I was always under the impression that when we don't need to come to ZH anymore, one of two things will have happened:

1) Reset works, global monetary system rebuilt, endless oil-based growth is abandoned, and a free press thrives again. TDs go on a long vacation.

2) 1984, so nothing really matters at all, even if it is the truth.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:26 | 3606376 walküre
walküre's picture

Maybe they were bailicided? I yelled at a cop today for ticketing me. He looked scared and it felt good. Still a free man tonight. Cops are Weimerica's brown shirts. Their night of the long knives will come. Cops need to decide who their friends really are.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:32 | 3606448 Money Squid
Money Squid's picture

I have not been around that long but I need to take brakes from time to time as trying to make sense of a whacked out financial system designed to ruin you gets old. What change in policy?

You can search all the way back to some of the earliest articles and comments and follow them up through now. Its a wealth information and some pretty funny shit too.

I guess after a few years you have read it all in one fashion or another. I feel that I got my education and made my preparations.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:48 | 3606644 BigJim
BigJim's picture

I hear you.

There's still lots to learn, but most of it is highly technical and getting one's head around it would (probably) take weeks of serious effort for the layman, and I'm not sure that effort is worth it. Even as it is, most mainstream economists go into shock if I start discussing free-market monetary systems with them. Describing (and understanding) JP Morgan's abstruse Whale trade wouldn't get me any further with them, or the public whom I sporadically attempt to educate.

And reading the same shit day-after-day is depressing. Graham Summers' perpetual 'it's-all-going-to-end-in-30-seconds' missives, the 'news' that the SEC has hired another bankster, or the banks have hired another SEC 'regulator', that Obamabush has signed away another tranche of our liberties - how much more of this do I need to read? I understand, now; the system is corroding away before our eyes, but seems to perpetually re-coalesce in some even uglier form, over and over again. The Borg is amazingly resilient.

We all need a break from this stuff occasionally. Getting too stuck in it threatens one's mental health.

But where else are we going to come to when we need another dose of reality? When we find ourselves start nodding assent to The Borg's endless stream of bullshit? I tried listening to the BBC the other day and had touble retaining my lunch.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 08:13 | 3606837 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

"We all need a break from this stuff occasionally. Getting too stuck in it threatens one's mental health."

 

Yes and Yes.  +1

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:21 | 3606621 new game
new game's picture

it wasn't free - you paid the price...

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:47 | 3606141 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

You can walk all the way to Florida, Garraty.

Because I'm not convinced that you have a death wish.

(Edit: I had not read your comment ^ when I posted this. I swear.)

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:05 | 3606216 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Welcome to the Bone Machine , my ZH blogspot.com friend..

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:38 | 3606390 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Nice!

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:26 | 3606084 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

Bust out the Armand de Brignac!

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:41 | 3606087 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

It's so contrieved it has become poisonously enervating.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:27 | 3606264 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

It's scary really. Has me planning on pulling the plug and going Galt.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:25 | 3606373 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Apparently I've even lost the will to spell check ("contrived").

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 22:31 | 3606099 Money 4 Nothing
Money 4 Nothing's picture

While looking outside the NYSE windows at a frozen tundra which hasn't seen the sun in 5 months. The algos don't care. You can vacate the floor and they will keep trading forever.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:24 | 3606261 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

"consumer confidence up" tits up, ballsup!
Happy Mondays song Your Unbelievable comes to mind.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:34 | 3606271 Surging Chaos
Surging Chaos's picture

In other news:

Chairman Bernanke has announced QE5. With the bursting of the student loan bubble, the Fed will add to its already massive $5 trillion balance sheet by purchasing student loan debt in order to stimulate the economy. With an estimated $200 billion worth of student loans in default, the Fed will be purchasing $40 billion of student loan debt per month. Talk of a student loan bailout was temporarily on the table, but rather than have the taxpayer foot the bill directly, they'll be footing it indirectly through the inflation tax.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:34 | 3606272 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Taking it down a notch, it's been cathartic to read the various posts of many here (including the Tylers) who seem somewhat defeated by the continuing ramp in everything that should crash.  I've personally lost quite a bit of money "betting" (the only word for it these days) on a crash.  But crash it will.  Everyone including the proverbial shoeshine boy is saying that stocks can't crash because they won't let it happen.  It could be a few weeks or a few months, but it will happen.  If I'm wrong (again), then I'll just hunker down with my booze and my bullion and wait and STFU.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:43 | 3606286 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

LTER you may want to consider that these markets can crash up. Look at crude. Look at yields. We are not there yet but they may start screaming inflation. In the absence of banks going bust we may nominally go higher even as the "stronger dollar" buys less and less.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:53 | 3606310 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Sadly this works if approaching infinity is not a problem, but it most certainly is in implementation. You can add 0s or slash 0s to just about anything to maintain a temporary equilibrium, but the debt just aint goin away.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:57 | 3606322 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Agreed, but no one seems to know what the infinite debt will do to markets.  Very smart people are getting it wrong so far, but I'm thinking they will be right eventually.   Then again, Einstein told us what crazy people do.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:58 | 3606311 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Very possible outcome.  Which is why I'm (perhaps too heavily) hedged in metals, some dollars, and a few long positions in blues.  But mostly I think we're on the precipice. 

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:48 | 3606300 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

+Beer.

Even the strong-willed get butterflies in the tummy when shit goes parabolic on multiple fronts.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:02 | 3606333 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I've been fighting the Fed, and the butterflies own my ass.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:24 | 3606623 drdolittle
drdolittle's picture

Keep getting my ass handed to me too. Still, what're you gonna do, go long at the top? I've cut most of my positions (stock wise) and have begun using longer dated options. It'll be highly convex when it does blow. Til then, I'll keep giving money to the squid in what I know is a rigged market. Smart huh?

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:09 | 3606352 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

+1 Skateboarder

Words to stay strong by.

If you do what everyone else does, you'll get what everyone else gets.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:49 | 3606301 denverdolomte
denverdolomte's picture

I've felt the same way about things, the irrationality of everything that is happening, things that defy phyisics with our banks, corps, .gov, wars you name it, the ignorance that runs rampant across this country, the lies, the slight of hands, battles of the ages, sexes, and etc, and being a newer generation type person getting a late start to planning ahead, I am taking this next round of market propping to prepare myself much better for the day SHTF. 

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:53 | 3606315 J in Vegas
J in Vegas's picture

And that is why I am betting long. Have been since 1/6/2012. Trying to time the shorting, and the almost constant burns, "face ripping off" got the best of me. So I started my long position 1/6/12, and added 4/3/12, 7/3/12, 8/2/12, 10/17/12, 12/7/12, and 3/4/13. All oil/nat gas trust, pays a dividend each month, about 6~7%. I had gone long as ZH had made BOLD predictions that an IRAN attack was about to happen, which of course didn't. I was looking for a quick boost in brent/Wti. But I have kept the position, adding to it every few months as the dividend money rolls in. Oil will never go to zero, and as Ben Bernutsac continues to print 85B a month, oil will continue its upward climb until everthing falls apart again. When, who knows????

J in Vegas

 

 

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:01 | 3606329 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I like your oil/NG play, and obviously you've won on the long equities front.  I'm generally wrong in my predictions so I'll just say kudos on the long equities.  Buy me a scotch some time because your longs were my shorts.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:11 | 3606355 Impotent_Smurf
Impotent_Smurf's picture

When it happens the shorts won't get paid.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:21 | 3606371 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

I've been waiting for the crash for five years but no longer have any skin in the game. I have learned tons along the way over the past few years from this site and I agree with you it will crash at some point - almost every ramp defies logic.

My mellowed out retired father does have some skin in the game. About a year ago he moved some capital out of his safe investments (bonds, etc.) because of interest rates and into the casino. Right now he is very worried and considering pulling everything. Why do I think his opinion is important aside from the fact he's my dad? For a number of years he was a bookie and semi-professional gambler - he knows when to walk away from the table. The fact that he is spooked makes me think it is coming sooner rather than later.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:21 | 3606434 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

It could be a few weeks or a few months, but it will happen.

We dig our foxholes deep.......and we wait.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:47 | 3606463 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

+1 for patience.

I'm in for the long haul, too.

As long as it takes.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:32 | 3606631 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Not me.

I am going to invent Cloned Bees to visit the Cloned Plants so we can survive.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:51 | 3606308 monopoly
monopoly's picture

LMAO Great!

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:54 | 3606317 FleaMarketPete
FleaMarketPete's picture

"At the end of the day, there is just too much negativity out there."

If you've been alive for more than 5 years, you might have heard this before. Next up on CNBC, Jimmy Cayne declares BSC is valued over $100/share.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:57 | 3606321 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

I shorted the ES on a price order today; got filled at 1660, basis Sept. I suppose I"ll get what's coming to me; whatever that is. 1660 is starting to look like overhead resistance to me; but then, I'm not really into mass hysteria and the madness of crowds. Be interesting to see how it works out. Put in a zero loss stop on my June Silver contract bought at $21.00 on a price order; mis-reported here as a Sept. Contract. Sorry. So, whatever that does, I don't care.

Tue, 05/28/2013 - 23:59 | 3606326 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Didn't something bad happen after all that happy meals stocks stuff in 1929? I'll have to try to remember to look that up; getting older all the time.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 00:57 | 3606408 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Tuesday, December 31 (Bloomturd)  Worth logging in just to plus that.  

 

"chief investment strategist Jim Stallsem"

 

I'll wager a few folks might miss that one.  Nicely done.LMAO

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:14 | 3606425 Pareto
Pareto's picture

"Fuck it. I mean, we can just buy houses and shit directly. It's like, that's the whole point anyway, right?"......+100000

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:28 | 3606441 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Great Coast to Coast am tonight. Discusses how Obama is physically signing laws to have corporations kill us and how Putin has threatened WWIII if Monsanto continues to kill all the honey bees.

Which leads me to conclude that Nations have begun to target Corporate CEOs as critical targets in a physical war.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:28 | 3606625 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Mr Prezident, we have bad news. There was a box to check at Monsanto called the Bee Test, to see if bees would visit and help pollinate any GMO plant before it was mass-produced and planted."

"And?"

"Well, it appears the page containing the test block was left off all tests going back all these years."

"Is that why every single plant looks exactly alike when I am campaigning in flovover country?"

"Yes, a side effect. There are no variations in GMO plants. They are exact clones. Anyway, we only have 2 years to fix this or we are all dead."

"Get me a burger."

"Yessir."

 

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:44 | 3606461 mt paul
mt paul's picture

3 years with no bees

humans starve...

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:20 | 3606616 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Bzzzzz Bzzzzz

"345rs, here is another GMO plant. We must look for a real God-Made plant to visit."

"OK, 3876TR, but my wings are about to fall off."

Bzzzzz Bzzzz

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:31 | 3606629 new game
new game's picture

darwin in charge, with the mothers helping hand.

short humans...

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 08:24 | 3606873 DaddyO
Wed, 05/29/2013 - 02:34 | 3606498 smacker
smacker's picture

Fed Chairman Dick Dickyanke heard to say under his breath:

              "To Infinity And Beyond. Keep stacking .....Treasuries"

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 03:22 | 3606519 Bear
Bear's picture

IRS chief visited the White House 118 times in 2010 - 2011. That's about 1 in every 5 working days. I guess he should have visited when Obama was there, because Obama only found out about IRS abuses from the news media a few weeks ago. Morons ... that what they take us for

Maybe we could get Holder to investigate it.

I know this is off topic, but when I read this I couldn't slow the amazement ... that's why I'm here to share with you the funniest story of a lifetime

118 visits to the WH and not once did they discuss what the IRS was doing. 

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:17 | 3606614 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Now, now, don't be too hard on the young lad in the oval orifice,

He only works 2 hours/day.

He golfs A LOT.

He is always on travel, campaigning for the UN head slot.

I have been there. It is pretty big and you can get lost. There are lots of Guards who shoo you away from most areas.

He has to have quality time with Reggie.

Most likely he has no idea who is in the white house on any given day.

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 07:02 | 3606665 MyBrothersKeeper
MyBrothersKeeper's picture

And at least 2 of those trips were for Easter Egg Rolls......and who knows how many times he went just to practice his rolling

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 04:09 | 3606549 Awakened Sheeple
Awakened Sheeple's picture

It would be awesome if I had someone to share this with in my neck of the woods. Reminds me of when Kevin Henry's Linkdin account was exposed on ZH and I was on the couch watching coverage of the hurricane. Picture me cackling, damn near in tears.

I did get to inform someone tonight of how our ponzi Social Security system actually works. One mind at a time, I guess...

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 04:59 | 3606570 observer007
observer007's picture

Debt Slaves: Brake The Matrix!

 

Central Banks turn all of us into debt slaves:

http://homment.com/debt-slaves

Wed, 05/29/2013 - 06:20 | 3606617 egoist
egoist's picture
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!