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It Is 3 Times Easier To Get Into Harvard Than To Become A Goldman Summer Intern

Tyler Durden's picture




 

While the acceptance ratio at Harvard, the lowest of any university, is 5.9%, Goldman Sachs has just topped it for 'exclusivity'. As Gary Cohn explains in this brief Bloomberg clip, the firm hired 350 summer 'intern' analysts in its investment-banking division from a pool of more than 17,000 applicants - an acceptance ratio of 2%. It seems the firm has no problem attracting 'talent' but it remains in second place for most 'difficult' job to attain... behind flight attendant at Delta Airlines.

 

 

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Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:51 | 3611664 falak pema
falak pema's picture

talk about career planning for baby boomers :

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142412788732468220457851366348544992...

Paetraeus and the MIC connection allows a private equity firm first insight into "developing countries".

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:58 | 3611692 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Did you say "flight attendant"?  Check out this flight attendant dress-alike that works at JPM, skip ahead to 2:20.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vctUIynaISA

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:13 | 3611742 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Harvard = 70% Yid, 20% minority, 5% gay and 5% Republican white male.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:18 | 3611758 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Hard to get into Goldman?

    Not if you are Bangladeshi.

 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:38 | 3611807 economics9698
economics9698's picture

"Hard to get into Goldman?

    Not if you are Bangladeshi."

A sighed contract with Lucifer works.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 19:11 | 3611907 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Yup.  Beelzebub runs the HR Department at Goldman.  Check our soul at the door.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 19:44 | 3612030 flacon
flacon's picture

I used to work for Merrill Lynch. It wasn't such a big deal. About 10% of my coworkers were WASP, the other 90% were Some sort of Asian or Jewish. 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:52 | 3611856 They trynna cat...
They trynna catch me ridin dirty's picture

Gotta love the fact that the people who founded Harvard (white Christian males) are now the least welcome in it.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 19:33 | 3611989 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

The coat of arms says 'Veritas' 

Latin meaning truth

Harvard has transformed it to Truth, depends on the desired outcome. 

 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 21:23 | 3612328 InanimateCarbonRod
InanimateCarbonRod's picture

Veritas Macht Frei.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:51 | 3611665 MiltonFriedmans...
MiltonFriedmansNightmare's picture

I want to work at the Glodman Sachs...
What a fucked up world we live in.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:52 | 3611673 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I've often thought about becoming a golf club...

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 23:17 | 3612607 Agent P
Agent P's picture

"I gotta go to college...I gotta."

"Oh Danny, this isn't Russia...is this Russia? This isn't Russia, is it?"

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:52 | 3611674 SolidSnake961
SolidSnake961's picture

17000 noobs

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:03 | 3611706 Cobra
Cobra's picture

And a multiple of rookie mistakes, just waiting to be had...

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 19:12 | 3611910 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

did i hear kids twice? what a fucking arrogant shill he is!

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:53 | 3611675 prains
prains's picture

well if crime pays what do you expect . fucking change it

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:46 | 3611839 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

we got interns into deals. get it ?

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:56 | 3611686 molecool
molecool's picture

Nah you guys don't get it - from the 17,000 who applied probably only 500 were qualified. Thanks to a complete breakdown of the U.S. educational system basic math skills are a rare commodity these days ;-)

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:51 | 3611850 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

Recommendations from someone who could matter as in the old days.

But an intern these days is also an intelligence asset,
so it is rather easy to get an intern placed accordingly.

Sh.. I`m talking the book, time to retire...

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 19:09 | 3611900 Ballin D
Ballin D's picture

They dont give a shit if youre good at math. Theyre looking for good looking girls, guys they want to hang out with, boss' kids, and a few workhorses.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 23:38 | 3612652 pitz
pitz's picture

There is nothing wrong with the applicant pool.  All 17,000 were likely qualified.  But the simple 'math' of it is that only an extremely small portion are going to be called in for interviews.  Probably not based on merit, but some other set of criteria.

Fri, 05/31/2013 - 03:16 | 3612815 molecool
molecool's picture

I was being facecious mate - I'm sure everyone applied was great in math ;-)

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:57 | 3611690 Legolas
Legolas's picture

I think the reason why it's so hard to get a summer internship is because so few candidates look like they're 10 or 11 years old.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:57 | 3611691 Stanley Lord
Stanley Lord's picture

Oh please stop, this is something I can find at Business Insider, my brother in laws niece was hired at GS for the summer, she is dumb as a box of rocks, but she looks great in heels. True.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:57 | 3611721 Cobra
Cobra's picture

+1. Hired the hottest 300 chicks. I watched the video... "We have no shortage of 'talent' laying, ummmm, applying for this position."

EDIT: 285 hot chicks and 15 motivated young coke dealers... Totally covering these ever increasing expenses.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:33 | 3611789 falak pema
falak pema's picture

as long as she kicks her heels up and stays dumb when the rock hits her box she'll be fine in the sach of goldman's cove. The rocks of that tribe will be cueing to get a second bite  at bottoms up.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:58 | 3611695 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Many are called, few are chosen.  God works in mysterious ways. It is said.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:23 | 3611769 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

What does god have to do with it, Kirk?

  The Lloyd works in mysterious ways...

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:59 | 3611697 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Just sell your soul to the Devil directly. 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:00 | 3611699 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Um, "Ok". Astronaut, anyone?

Btw - Harvard has several sections of preferred places, so that's hardly surprising:

Harvard’s acceptance rate for legacies has hovered around 30 percent—more than four times the regular admission rate—in recent admissions cycles, Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid William R. Fitzsimmons ’67 told The Crimson in an interview this week. [Source 2011]

 

You give big, your kid gets in. Hardly exclusive. (Oxford / Cambridge / Sorbonne, however...)

 

 

For the record: GS interns might be fairly exclusive, but it's no 0.1%, that's for sure. Dorsia, anyone?

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:14 | 3611747 Thisson
Thisson's picture

Only 20% of Harvard students are accepted on the basis of merit.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 22:53 | 3612559 TNTARG
TNTARG's picture

The deep, shitty hollow of the Ivy League, mandatory path to Wall Street corruption's Inferno:

 

Warren, Obama, and Harvard's Culture of Corruption

http://www.americanthinker.com/2012/05/warren_obama_and_harvards_culture...

"

For Third-raters Who Want to Get Into Harvard, It Helps To Have Parents With $10 million to Grease the Skids"

http://www.forbes.com/sites/eamonnfingleton/2012/11/30/do-the-ivy-league...

http://www.theamericanconservative.com/articles/the-myth-of-american-mer...

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:02 | 3611702 The Abstraction...
The Abstraction of Justice's picture

Only the most corrupt degenerates get into Goldman Sachs.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:04 | 3611712 SolidSnake961
SolidSnake961's picture

correction: promosing young smart guys and sexy girls that eventually become pricks after the internship

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:05 | 3611713 nasa
nasa's picture

How much cash stolen was from the parents of the 350? 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:09 | 3611730 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

How much soul stolen was from the parents of the 350?

 

FTFY.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:09 | 3611725 FleaMarketPete
FleaMarketPete's picture

The kids that got GS offers at my school were definitely not the brightest but did look like A&F models and the GS recruiters looked like NJ strippers.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:10 | 3611731 semperfi
semperfi's picture

well, you have to be trained how to be a good criminal before you go into practice

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:11 | 3611735 Cobra
Cobra's picture

Spot the condescending 'know-it-all' on this thread.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:33 | 3611788 Two Feet Studs Up
Two Feet Studs Up's picture

How many of these "exclusive" class of people go on to fuck over the world?

Maybe this guy could speak to the new interns:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVlNZ3SIPbo&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:45 | 3611834 vegas
vegas's picture

 


If my kid did either I'd beat the hell out of him for being an idiot.

 

 

http://vegasxau.blogspot.com

 

 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:51 | 3611849 nbsharma
nbsharma's picture

Now that this banking propaganda is back, one really has to wonder how short our memories are.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:53 | 3611860 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

my nephew's wife's sister works full time at GS as some kind of gold analyst, whatever that is.  She nice looking too.  I think they just let her get married and have a baby even. 

 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 19:10 | 3611904 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Does the baby look like a young Lloyd, or a Mini Me?

 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 19:26 | 3611961 reTARD
reTARD's picture

The Cheesepopes are just protecting their territories:

American Medical Association, American Dental Association, state bars, American Bankers Association, academics, political think tanks, etc.

... all serve to "protect the public" by limiting the number of doctors, dentists, lawyers (the ones who can charge the big buxs), bankers/banks (the ones who can never get into trouble with "the law"), etc. allowed and to the right proportions of Cheesepopes to Goy.

... there by protecting their jobs/livelihoods and creating artificial shortages of the above professions.

Fri, 05/31/2013 - 11:59 | 3613795 monad
monad's picture

The Guilds

Gub squeezes the guild in the name of the proles, guild squeezes the proles and kicks 1% to the gub, who then kicks 1% down to the grateful proles.

Bwahahaha

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 20:16 | 3612139 pitz
pitz's picture

They shouldn't be paying their employees so much (and robbing the shareholders) if that many qualified people are lined up to be a part of their business. 

Why is it the free market for us not in the banking system, but som sort of oligarchy for those who are employed by these outfits?  Why does Goldman hate its shareholders so much? 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 20:58 | 3612248 optimator
optimator's picture

If I were younger I'd work for Goldie for nothing - as a janitor.  Selected items from the trash would make me rich quick.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 21:31 | 3612345 InanimateCarbonRod
InanimateCarbonRod's picture

Daddy has lots of $$ with firm. Check.

Had my BM last year.  Check.

Morally bankrupt.  Check.

Sociopathic tendencies well hidden thanks to years of country club associations. Check.

Likes the Benjis.  Check.

 

Hey look at me I'm an intern!

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 21:31 | 3612346 InanimateCarbonRod
InanimateCarbonRod's picture

Daddy has lots of $$ with firm. Check.

Had my BM last year.  Check.

Morally bankrupt.  Check.

Sociopathic tendencies well hidden thanks to years of country club associations. Check.

Likes the Benjis.  Check.

 

Hey look at me I'm an intern!

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 22:15 | 3612438 TNTARG
TNTARG's picture

Amazing such a quantity of applicants to become serious mother fuckers. It must be the result of Harvard's teaching.

Fri, 05/31/2013 - 02:21 | 3612800 401K of Dooom
401K of Dooom's picture

Oh?  That guy would be voting for Sen. Ted Kennedy, Barney Fwank and all of the other reprobate Democrats in the Commonwealth (I.E. independent nation) of Massachusetts.  That and he would be complaining about the white, racist rednecks in the other parts of the country.  Oh and kissing the shoes of the Ivy-League graduates.  Just one more thing, this guy had no idea or was complicit in the real-estate bubble for the P.I.G.S.!!!

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