Trickle Down Works: UBS Joins Federal Reserve In Hiking Banker Salaries By 9%

Tyler Durden's picture

A week ago we reported that despite making 50% less money for the Treasury in the first quarter, the hedge fund formerly known as the Federal Reserve was generous enough to hike the salaries of its employees by a (true inflation indexed?) 11.7%. It appears the workers of the Fed's Markets Group are not the only ones who can barely make ends meet: next up - investment banks, and specifically UBS, which as Bloomberg just reported has hiked the salaries of its bankers by 9%.

And since banks always do compensation decisions in tandem, expect every other bank to hike wages appropriately to avoid "disgruntlement."

The good news - trickle down works.

The bad news - it is only working for those for whom trickle down has always worked (courtesy of the Cantillon Effect and the fact that Wall Street has owned the nation since the advent of the Fed), and for those who have zero urgent need of that marginal dollar increase.

But maybe, some time during QEternity^infinity, the same trickling will finally spill over into the broader economy and the much desired wage inflation will finally reach Main Street.

We wouldn't hold our breath.

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camaro68ss's picture

fuck those mother fuckers. I haven’t gotten a raise in 5 years. Makes it hard for me to buy MOAR PMs

King_of_simpletons's picture

It's called LOOT, not salary.


nope-1004's picture

So is this an admission that inflation is running at 9%?  Anything above the inflation rate is theft considering the banks are insolvent.  So maybe I am reading this different.....


NotApplicable's picture

No silly, this is an indication of the lack of supply of valuable investment bankers.

ZerOhead's picture

Regular people only buy assets that can't inflate with their incomes... you know food, fuel, etc. etc. ...

Bankers on the other hand buy a disproportionate amount of financial assets with their incomes that DO inflate... hence the need for them to receive more compensation lest they fall further and futher behind their peers...

See? it's just simple economics you dummies...

Heckuva job Bernanke!


Joe Davola's picture

The stuff trickling down on me is fueling my gruntlement.

jbvtme's picture

if the fed owns 75% of bonds, what percent of equities do they own at this point, directly or through dummy corporations?

Caviar Emptor's picture

You calling banksters dummies?

petolo's picture

Trickles and gushers of piss on those bottomfeeders.

Jumbotron's picture

9%...JUUuust outpacing real inflation.....

...and the bonuses make up for the rest.

YC2's picture

My annual increase, which was for tomorrow, was pushed back to October and will probably be around 3% on average.


My bonus, which is capped at 5% of salary (why bother?), was likely only half funded this year.


I am in the wrong line of business, providing goods, services and the like.  Whats sad is I like my job way more than when I was in straight finance, but being in industry is going to put me in the poorhouse.

Its_the_economy_stupid's picture



If anybody can count, its a banker. If their getting 9% its because that is the true inflation rate. Really makes me angry sometimes. I'd be OK if it weren't for the lying and cheating and backstabbing and stealing and ...., well you get my point.

prains's picture

somebody let me know when there's a coup

coltek's picture

Viagra man, Viagra. 


You can get it over the counter...........If you take two!

ZerOhead's picture

"fuck those mother fuckers. I haven’t gotten a raise in 5 years. Makes it hard for me to buy MOAR PMs"


Don't complain... their ongoing price suppression of PM's is throwing you a very large and juicy bone...

Caviar Emptor's picture

Actually, with paltry 2.3% GDP after printing trillions an channeling the cash through he banks, I call that a successful Trickle UP Policy!!!!

Stuart's picture

yep, these psychotically greedy MFs make a compelling argument to bring back the liberal use of ropes and trees.  

Go Tribe's picture

Someone must think you're anti-Jewish. At this point, they are missing the point.

gold mans sack's picture

I junked myself for not going further.

ZerOhead's picture

It's the gift that never stops taking...

JJ McApe's picture


ugggh it is is futile....

Dr. Engali's picture

The hubris never stops. A 9% increase for doing and contributing nothing. If it wasn't for the Bernank your firm would be gone.

Groundhog Day's picture

If it wasn't for the taxpayer subsidy your firm would be gone.

Corrected it for you doc

alien-IQ's picture

I have more respect for drug dealers than these assholes. At least drug dealers are providing a product people want and not strutting around proclaiming to be doing gods work.

semperfi's picture

banksters launder the drug dealer's money - so now do you give some respect to them?

coltek's picture

Well......Hush my corns.......


Shocked! Truly SHOCKED!!!

kito's picture

Have pity for them....its hard these days....the cost of private high school....a nanny....butler.....chauffeur......3 mortgages.....yacht upkeep.....private jet timeshare.......whoa to be them....

denverdolomte's picture

Don't forget the inflated price of cocaine, higher cost of sex parties, I mean have you seen the price on tax payer expensed trips to Monaco lately? 

optimator's picture

And heating and air conditioning that 13 bedroom home isn't cheap either.  But that large Home Office helps a bit.

Caviar Emptor's picture

Oh and the cost of villas on the Riviera, St Barth's and Aspen!

Are we gonna just sit idly by as Russian oligarchs snap up prime NYC real estate???

No! We gotta make our MeriKan banksters richer!

debtandtaxes's picture

and never forget the new trophy wife and 3 kids in addition to the 2 other wives and their kids Mr. Bankster hasta support! It's tough supporting 3 families with 3 households in the way they are accustomed! Poor fuckers...

How do they afford that new Tesla?

otto skorzeny's picture

Fuck the Swiss- ever since they rolled over like bitches for the IRS.

buzzsaw99's picture

UBS Libor rigging, rogue trading, tax evading, LTCM investing, bailout taking...


she works hard for the money...



yogibear's picture

Life is good for the banksters and getting better. 

Load the youth down with school debt and give yourself 9% raises.

Perfom financial crimes, get bailed out, recieve bonuses and 9% raises.

A Lunatic's picture

I'd like to give the whole banking system a Raze.........

Colonel Klink's picture

Tinkle down economics.  The bankers and politicians are pissing down our back and telling us it's raining.

Put your PM raincoat on!

PT's picture

Colonel Klink re:  "Trickle down" and "tinkle down".  Just what I've been thinking, well not quite.  I was going to call it "Trickle ON" economics.  I sure can feel it trickling on me.

"Trickle down"???  What a fucking stupid phrase.  And people accept this?  "Oh, I'm only a very poor person, I can't expect more than a trickle on lil' old me".  WTF is wrong with this world?

How about, when people can afford to buy stuff, they buy stuff.  And the businesses supplying them, they don't go broke!  In fact, they get richer!  And the businesses expand.  Or people get the chance to exercise their inner greed, let's call it "entrenpreneurialship" for now ( I really should think of a better word but I'm in a hurry right now.  Like in some other post where I commented and left a dozen spelling / grammar mistakes ), and they build more businesses 'coz they want more stuff and swear they can do a better job than the other guy.  F&^#k "trickle down" economics.  It's about time we had something called "FLOOD UP" economics, - where rich people get richer because the poor people get richer and buy more stuff.

Go Tribe's picture

You guys are bitching over a 9% raise???  You're getting god's work for cheap!

Seasmoke's picture

It's great to be an investment banker or a public employee.

OpTwoMistic's picture

I thought I felt someone in my pocket

alien-IQ's picture

Thus proving once again: Crime DOES pay. (quite handsomely in fact)

muleskinner's picture

Trickle Down Economics originated:

a) during the Reagan Administration

b) in 1854, the cartoon used was a horse eating oats and the trickle down was at the other end.

Yen Cross's picture

      According to the bankers we are in a deflationary trend, which means they should be taking pay cuts.

  Long "pitchforks and rope"...