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Trickle Down Works: UBS Joins Federal Reserve In Hiking Banker Salaries By 9%

Tyler Durden's picture




 

A week ago we reported that despite making 50% less money for the Treasury in the first quarter, the hedge fund formerly known as the Federal Reserve was generous enough to hike the salaries of its employees by a (true inflation indexed?) 11.7%. It appears the workers of the Fed's Markets Group are not the only ones who can barely make ends meet: next up - investment banks, and specifically UBS, which as Bloomberg just reported has hiked the salaries of its bankers by 9%.

And since banks always do compensation decisions in tandem, expect every other bank to hike wages appropriately to avoid "disgruntlement."

The good news - trickle down works.

The bad news - it is only working for those for whom trickle down has always worked (courtesy of the Cantillon Effect and the fact that Wall Street has owned the nation since the advent of the Fed), and for those who have zero urgent need of that marginal dollar increase.

But maybe, some time during QEternity^infinity, the same trickling will finally spill over into the broader economy and the much desired wage inflation will finally reach Main Street.

We wouldn't hold our breath.

 

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Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:40 | 3610917 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

fuck those mother fuckers. I haven’t gotten a raise in 5 years. Makes it hard for me to buy MOAR PMs

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:41 | 3610942 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

It's called LOOT, not salary.

 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:45 | 3610951 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

So is this an admission that inflation is running at 9%?  Anything above the inflation rate is theft considering the banks are insolvent.  So maybe I am reading this different.....

 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:50 | 3610968 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

No silly, this is an indication of the lack of supply of valuable investment bankers.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:53 | 3610971 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Regular people only buy assets that can't inflate with their incomes... you know food, fuel, etc. etc. ...

Bankers on the other hand buy a disproportionate amount of financial assets with their incomes that DO inflate... hence the need for them to receive more compensation lest they fall further and futher behind their peers...

See? it's just simple economics you dummies...

Heckuva job Bernanke!

 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:53 | 3610978 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

The stuff trickling down on me is fueling my gruntlement.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:03 | 3610998 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Is this deflation?

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:08 | 3611017 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

if the fed owns 75% of bonds, what percent of equities do they own at this point, directly or through dummy corporations?

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:17 | 3611055 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

You calling banksters dummies?

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 16:30 | 3611448 petolo
petolo's picture

Trickles and gushers of piss on those bottomfeeders.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:51 | 3610974 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

9%...JUUuust outpacing real inflation.....

...and the bonuses make up for the rest.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:17 | 3611052 YC2
YC2's picture

My annual increase, which was for tomorrow, was pushed back to October and will probably be around 3% on average.

 

My bonus, which is capped at 5% of salary (why bother?), was likely only half funded this year.

 

I am in the wrong line of business, providing goods, services and the like.  Whats sad is I like my job way more than when I was in straight finance, but being in industry is going to put me in the poorhouse.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 15:44 | 3611326 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

@Jumbo

 

If anybody can count, its a banker. If their getting 9% its because that is the true inflation rate. Really makes me angry sometimes. I'd be OK if it weren't for the lying and cheating and backstabbing and stealing and ...., well you get my point.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:59 | 3610987 prains
prains's picture

somebody let me know when there's a coup

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:03 | 3611002 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

"somebody let me know when there's a coup"

Dec. 23, 1913

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_Reserve_System

You're welcome.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:05 | 3611007 prains
prains's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ_gFyB6GnA

 

album: pick a bigger weapon

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:41 | 3610943 coltek
coltek's picture

Viagra man, Viagra. 

 

You can get it over the counter...........If you take two!

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:55 | 3610981 Aeternus
Aeternus's picture

Damn it must feel good to be a banksta.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deuC8GPr31A

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:02 | 3610996 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

"fuck those mother fuckers. I haven’t gotten a raise in 5 years. Makes it hard for me to buy MOAR PMs"

 

Don't complain... their ongoing price suppression of PM's is throwing you a very large and juicy bone...

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:14 | 3611049 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Actually, with paltry 2.3% GDP after printing trillions an channeling the cash through he banks, I call that a successful Trickle UP Policy!!!!
Winning!

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 16:10 | 3611401 Stuart
Stuart's picture

yep, these psychotically greedy MFs make a compelling argument to bring back the liberal use of ropes and trees.  

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:36 | 3610919 gold mans sack
gold mans sack's picture

F U Shalom!

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:20 | 3611065 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Someone must think you're anti-Jewish. At this point, they are missing the point.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:56 | 3611866 gold mans sack
gold mans sack's picture

I junked myself for not going further.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:37 | 3610920 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

QE WORKS!

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:56 | 3610982 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

It's the gift that never stops taking...

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:37 | 3610923 JJ McApe
JJ McApe's picture

:(

ugggh it is is futile....

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:38 | 3610926 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The hubris never stops. A 9% increase for doing and contributing nothing. If it wasn't for the Bernank your firm would be gone.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:45 | 3610956 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

If it wasn't for the taxpayer subsidy your firm would be gone.

Corrected it for you doc

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:02 | 3610997 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

I have more respect for drug dealers than these assholes. At least drug dealers are providing a product people want and not strutting around proclaiming to be doing gods work.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:39 | 3611138 semperfi
semperfi's picture

banksters launder the drug dealer's money - so now do you give some respect to them?

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:39 | 3610931 coltek
coltek's picture

Well......Hush my corns.......

 

Shocked! Truly SHOCKED!!!

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:44 | 3610953 kito
kito's picture

Have pity for them....its hard these days....the cost of private high school....a nanny....butler.....chauffeur......3 mortgages.....yacht upkeep.....private jet timeshare.......whoa to be them....

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:49 | 3610965 denverdolomte
denverdolomte's picture

Don't forget the inflated price of cocaine, higher cost of sex parties, I mean have you seen the price on tax payer expensed trips to Monaco lately? 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:00 | 3610989 optimator
optimator's picture

And heating and air conditioning that 13 bedroom home isn't cheap either.  But that large Home Office helps a bit.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:22 | 3611077 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Oh and the cost of villas on the Riviera, St Barth's and Aspen!

Are we gonna just sit idly by as Russian oligarchs snap up prime NYC real estate???

No! We gotta make our MeriKan banksters richer!

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:24 | 3611605 debtandtaxes
debtandtaxes's picture

and never forget the new trophy wife and 3 kids in addition to the 2 other wives and their kids Mr. Bankster hasta support! It's tough supporting 3 families with 3 households in the way they are accustomed! Poor fuckers...

How do they afford that new Tesla?

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:45 | 3610954 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

Fuck the Swiss- ever since they rolled over like bitches for the IRS.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:45 | 3610955 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

UBS Libor rigging, rogue trading, tax evading, LTCM investing, bailout taking...

 

she works hard for the money...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX7MbG6MiQs

 

 

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:47 | 3610958 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Life is good for the banksters and getting better. 

Load the youth down with school debt and give yourself 9% raises.

Perfom financial crimes, get bailed out, recieve bonuses and 9% raises.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:49 | 3610964 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

I'd like to give the whole banking system a Raze.........

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:49 | 3610966 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Tinkle down economics.  The bankers and politicians are pissing down our back and telling us it's raining.

Put your PM raincoat on!

Fri, 05/31/2013 - 09:04 | 3613157 PT
PT's picture

Colonel Klink re:  "Trickle down" and "tinkle down".  Just what I've been thinking, well not quite.  I was going to call it "Trickle ON" economics.  I sure can feel it trickling on me.

"Trickle down"???  What a fucking stupid phrase.  And people accept this?  "Oh, I'm only a very poor person, I can't expect more than a trickle on lil' old me".  WTF is wrong with this world?

How about, when people can afford to buy stuff, they buy stuff.  And the businesses supplying them, they don't go broke!  In fact, they get richer!  And the businesses expand.  Or people get the chance to exercise their inner greed, let's call it "entrenpreneurialship" for now ( I really should think of a better word but I'm in a hurry right now.  Like in some other post where I commented and left a dozen spelling / grammar mistakes ), and they build more businesses 'coz they want more stuff and swear they can do a better job than the other guy.  F&^#k "trickle down" economics.  It's about time we had something called "FLOOD UP" economics, - where rich people get richer because the poor people get richer and buy more stuff.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:52 | 3610977 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

You guys are bitching over a 9% raise???  You're getting god's work for cheap!

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:57 | 3610983 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

It's great to be an investment banker or a public employee.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:04 | 3611004 NotApplicable
Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:58 | 3610985 OpTwoMistic
OpTwoMistic's picture

I thought I felt someone in my pocket

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:59 | 3610988 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Thus proving once again: Crime DOES pay. (quite handsomely in fact)

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 13:59 | 3610990 muleskinner
muleskinner's picture

Trickle Down Economics originated:

a) during the Reagan Administration

b) in 1854, the cartoon used was a horse eating oats and the trickle down was at the other end.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:00 | 3610992 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

      According to the bankers we are in a deflationary trend, which means they should be taking pay cuts.

  Long "pitchforks and rope"...

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:11 | 3611031 OpTwoMistic
OpTwoMistic's picture

Long "pitchforks and rope"...   much too quick.

flesh eating disease

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:36 | 3611127 semperfi
semperfi's picture

life in federal prison with Bubba, and no lube

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:36 | 3611130 semperfi
semperfi's picture

life in federal prison with Bubba, and no lube

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:02 | 3610995 caimen garou
caimen garou's picture

the cost of hookers and blow must be going up, no inflation, eh bernake! asshole

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:26 | 3611030 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

The only sector of the economy that produces nothing of real fucking value is giving itself a raise.  Unless of course you think financial "products" of mass destruction have value.

Roll the motherfucking guillotines...

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 19:43 | 3612028 pigs-n-space
pigs-n-space's picture

Hell yes!

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:20 | 3611066 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

whats good for the Fed (and their subsidieries - TBTF) is good for the USA !

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:23 | 3611084 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Those superfluous HR people in the investment banks will be buzzing with the new tasks in hand, i.e. to coordinate meetings internally and with competitors about salary increases, while briefing the department heads about managing expectations.

These cross-bank HR meetings on salaries do exist by the way, in case you are skeptical

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 16:22 | 3611100 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"These cross-bank HR meetings on salaries do exist by the way, in case you are skeptical" - Yes, well, time, dates, locations, and names might be considerably more helpful...

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 17:30 | 3611625 debtandtaxes
debtandtaxes's picture

Think again if you doubt these exist! How else do you ensure obtaining the "best and brightest" talent unless you know the going pay rates at other firms.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 14:34 | 3611122 semperfi
semperfi's picture

Crime does pay.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 15:38 | 3611311 BattlegroundEur...
BattlegroundEurope2011's picture

All those guns in the world and not one is being used against these scum...yet.

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 16:51 | 3611513 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

The bankers create the problem, they fuck the American public and they get bailed out by the Jewish run Federal Reserve and as the American people suffer, these gangsters get a 9% bonus When is enough enough for these greedy Jewish bastards? When do we stand up and say we have had enough and make them pay for what they have done to America and our future?

Thu, 05/30/2013 - 18:11 | 3611737 pitz
pitz's picture

Why don't these fuckers just open their resume queues and start hiring people who apply and are qualified -- rather than giving in to these wage demands? 

They must receive thousands, if not millions of resumes per year. 

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