Saturday Humor: What Happens When Batman Shows Up On An Earnings Call

Tyler Durden's picture

What is the only thing better than a possible Einhorn (impersonator) sighting at a Herbalife conference call? Why Bruce Wayne from Wayne Enterprises, exhausted from recent skirmishes with Bane and the Joker, asking the CEO of Archer Ltd if he can invest in "some technology he is developing." We can only hope Batman were to show up on an earnings call of one of the companies, all of them financial of course, that truly need his attention.

All of the below really happened, and can be heard at 35'50" into the Archer Ltd. Q1 conference call.

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NotApplicable's picture

It's teh gotdamn Batman!

Money Squid's picture

I guess Bang Da Ho was too busy to call in....exhausted from, well ..... you know

nasa's picture

I thought those free Obama phones had a " this is broke ass calling from a free phone, do you accept call?" warnings.

Long-John-Silver's picture

This government needs the ability to track and monitor it's citizens. Obamaphones provide that ability when a citizen can't afford to pay for his or her own tracking device.

Rentier's picture

That's good stuff lol

slaughterer's picture

Lloyd Blankfeind, CEO of Goldman Smucks:

Hello, Joker.  We can hear you.

Joker: Hi there.  This is the Joker.  I was wondering given your trading technology, whether you could let me run the algos on your trading desk during the next Obama TV appearance.

Lloyd Blankfeind, CEO of Goldman Smucks:

I think you will fidn that we run the algos just fine during Obama TV appearances.

Joker: No, you do not understand.  What I want to do is not run the algos just fine during Obama' speech.  You see, ever since Batman resurfaced with his Archer Ltd. partnership, I need to strengthen my strategic alliances among organizations who I would expect could be sympathetic to my cause.  I have picked Goldman Smucks as my first partner.  Also, you have to realize that you guys owe me a favor after I lost all that money on all of those shitty Stolper recommendationa. 

Inthemix96's picture

Fucking brilliant!!

Bruce Wayne        hehehehe.

Motorhead's picture

Aw, shucks, I was hoping it was Dick "Oy Vey" Bove'.

Atomizer's picture

Owners of AK-47/AR-15 are to blame



JOYFUL's picture

First of all.... Bruce Wayne and his sidekick "robin" were never really comfortable with being out n about sans costume...

that tells you all you need to know about that [un-dynamic] duo... which more or less relied upon a connection with the obviously corrupt police commisioner in order to activate what was pretty much a private vendetta thing against free enterprisin competitors who hadn't paid off downtown...

this whole crony capitalist conspiracy woulda bin blown wide open by the real deal duo long ago...

Steve Roper(muck-rakin journo) and Mike Nomad(gear jammer...muscle... badguy gadfly)were the cause celebre of the Sunday Comix for a generation now busy with dyin off... but back in the (pre Scorese)day everything you needed to know about the wider world could be found in an installement of the pipe-smoker and his brushcut buddy...

and before the gender-bending pharaseutical conglomerates  spewed out their atrazine and agent orange style chemical cocktails into our air\water\soils  and their complicit media co-conspirators conducted their paralllel culture war campaigns to poison minds as well as bodies...

those two dudes ran the voodoo down and had enuff time to get tight wit da ladies too! nO costumes... nO rubbers.. nO problem.... they knocked down the villains and knocked up the fillies... no metrOsexuals... no phOny fiat...

it was the best of times...

Six Days On The Road~Dave Dudley

...Man... we gotta get back to where we once belonged!



MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

I love that the jackass running the call tries to act as if he didn't just see a tomato go whizzing past his head.  <lmao>

prains's picture

man i was really hoping the next caller was Jason Bourne

caimen garou's picture

it don't get much better than this, a call in from the great pumpkin would have been intresting!

jumblies's picture

I wonder if the next caller was going to ask why Charlene left him?

(google "jason donovan neighbours" if you're at a loss)

Catullus's picture

Fuck. Why can't that happen on any call I listen to? It's the longest two weeks every quarter.

long-shorty's picture

"... I shall thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavor."

Agent P's picture

Fredrik Halvorsen:  "Bertrand, can you move on to the next caller, please?"

Operator:  "Sure. We will now take a question from Jason Donovan with John Funds. Please go ahead."

Unidentified Participant:  "Hi, this is Jason Donovan with John Funds. I was wondering if you'd like to invest some money in John Funds, you know, to bail dudes out of jail who got busted by cops posing as hookers?"


GMadScientist's picture

Fredrik Halvorsen:  "Bertrand, can you move on to the next caller, please?"

Operator:  "Sure. We will now take a question from a Mr. Richards. Reed, are you there on the line?"

Unidentified Participant:  "Yes, I'm specifically interested in any business you can throw our way; we're a small research team with 4 principals with experience in aviation, surveillance, and tactical combat. Does your medical cover the invisible, flammable, and/or ugly?"

StychoKiller's picture

Meself is wonderin' if they can throw some luv Spidey's direction...

Mi Naem's picture

Good News = Great Prank; Friggin' hilarious! 

Bad News = Now we'll need a security clearance to get on the quarterly conference calls.