What's Wrong With This Picture?

Tyler Durden's picture

There is something very wrong with this Bloomberg article screengrab.

Now, there are four distinct possibilities here:

  1. This is the quality of headline "reporting" we can expect out of Bloomberg now that the "client surveillance" function has been turned off.
  2. Bloomberg is cutting costs and is letting algos write headlines. And not just any algos, but those that have a 4 hours delay to real-time prices.
  3. Bloomberg's editors are evaluating greener pastures, and instead of actually checking facts - not like fact-checked news are even relevant any more: after all CNN gets its breaking stories from Twitter - are making sure their slideshows of grumpy cats on bicycles targeting the "rest of us" media, are in pristine condition to bag that next Series XYZ preferred round-funded job.
  4. Pure dumb propaganda.

Whatever the case, the outcome is about as laughable as the US "capital markets"

h/t Mark

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cdntrader's picture

Old habit... That's all.

King_of_simpletons's picture

Keep those positive la-la land headlines for the masses. Those idiots have short term memories and are dyslexic anyway.

knukles's picture

But they're telling the Troof

Stocks did climb for the week before falling later on.

Some of you guys make it sound like they're trying to mislead us or sumptin'.

Pinto Currency's picture


The Bloomberg 'naughty press' items have been a nice counterbalance to the Eric Holder spying on the press scandal.

Fredo Corleone's picture

"Have a problem with robots writing copy for Bloomberg ? Talk to my ombudsman, pal."


AR15AU's picture

It just says they "climbed"...  so they climbed down...

This just in's picture

It's all mossing the big bit of good news, that chocolate rations have been increased again to 20 grams per week.

Pinto Currency's picture


As long as the press is naughty, then spying on the press by Obama msut not be that bad.

Thank goodness for Nanny Bloomberg, says Holder.

Jumbotron's picture



doomandbloom's picture

It just means its going up....by first going down...

Robsabi's picture

Thanks for my daily chuckle!

ZerOhead's picture

Back in the old days they used to write the articles first and then the editors would come up with a catchy headline after...

These days however they can't afford to take those kinds of chances.

Sucks when someone doesn't read the memo...

jbvtme's picture

i read this tripe to learn what they want me to think. 

logicalman's picture

You have to read the propaganda so you know what TPTB want you to think.

Then do your own research and compare.

It's the only way to know how far out of whack the bastards are.


lasvegaspersona's picture

better dyslexic than less dickic...

Skateboarder's picture

The stock market doesn't matter anymore. They could've put 'lorem ipsum..." and people would call it fact.

HelluvaEngineer's picture

Many of these articles are written by programs.  They take white house talking points and reformat it.  There was an article recently about Chinese news agencies replacing their reporters with robots.

Croesus's picture

Precisely illustrates why you can't believe the MSM when they say the PM bull is done. 


Jdog's picture

scams can't keep up with their lies anymore, they lie so much, they can't even tell whats reality!

fonzannoon's picture

it does not matter anyway. it's over from here. right about now everyone is deciding it's probably prudent to take gains. should be fun to watch.

auric1234's picture

Or maybe we see another short squeeze.

Anything can happen in the rigged casino. It really just depends on which button the Fed desk presses.


Cangaroo.TNT's picture

Okay, I'm an avid reader of your comments.  They tend to be brief yet insightful.  However, I know you recently said you were going to start drinking and reading ZH on the weekends again.  So, I have to ask, are those statements an accurate reflection of your reasoned opinion, or just the booze talking?

fonzannoon's picture

me? I think the fed got overwhelmed last week. i think people take gains only to realize no one want to buy from them here. I think it gets nasty.

Tom Green Swedish's picture

I fired Bloomberg a long time ago.  Sometimes I check their world market data although I'm sure I can find a replacement for it. Crap company, crap reporting crap tv, crap computer manipulation terminal and even worse Mayor.  Pops and Cigarettes for everyone.  

Motorhead's picture

That mayor of NYC is such a fucking putz.  Yeah, he's rich, but what a retard.

dunce's picture

A prosperous fool is a grievous burden. Bloomberg, Buffet, Gates, Soros and more

auric1234's picture

I'm so sorry, now you can't eat any more pizza. The allowance for critical thinkers has been supressed by the central nurturing committee.


Dealyer Turdin's picture

Yesterday I was by 3 girls, with four large pizzas, it's one of the manifestations of doom.  If you rock from side to side carrying your box of pizza, you should not be allowed to eat it.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I much prefer CNBC (or as Mrs Cog likes to say "State TV) for all my propaganda. There is nothing quite like a CNBC enema to refresh a tired mind and a sore butt.

Skateboarder's picture

Candied News and Bollocks Company?

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Heavy on the Bollocks please. Hold the "news" whatever that is these days. I thought it was more along the lines of reprinting press releases and 'information' hand jobs.....er......handouts.

ebworthen's picture

It's for people who only read headlines, and algos.

They probably hooked at least a 100,000 to place buys on their ETrade over the weekend.

Greyhat's picture

But what does a text interpreting algo do with inconsistent information like this? Throw a bitcoin or prefer the headline? :)

UP Forester's picture

The algos are so fast, they bought the dip and sold the rip before the digital ink was dry....

Agent P's picture

I'm going with the headline.  If it's not true, they can't print it in the headline.  It's state law.

LetThemEatRand's picture

Probably a simple explanation.  It was written earlier in the day before the market tanked.  They added the correct text after the market closed but forgot to change the headline.

Skateboarder's picture

Appreciate your giving the benefit of doubt, but I don't think anyone read this article, including the author. That's the only way this is possible.

LetThemEatRand's picture

I'm the first guy to line up behind a legitimate conspiracy theory, but the market was up most of the day and the headline/this article was written by some guy who wanted to go home early on a Friday.  When he/she wrote the headline, the market was up.   

Skateboarder's picture

I can buy that. I design electronics and software and still make an ocassional [harmless] mistake once in a while. It takes a real dumbass to get the headline wrong though.


Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

Except the first line in the article reminds us that this is the first back-to-back weekly losses for the S&P since September.

gatorengineer's picture

this isnt the first time this has happened its fairly regular with yahoo.......

nmewn's picture

5.  Pro-Second Amendment terrrist hacks into Bloomberg & unleashes stupid virus.