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IMF Demands $18 For Hard Copy Admission That It Is An Idiot

Tyler Durden's picture




 

As we reported earlier today, in somewhat surprising news, the IMF admitted that not only is it an idiot (this was public knowledge) but also a liar (curious, as no "serious people" do this in polite company and certainly not publicly).

Subsequently, it released the full 51 page report. Those who are inclined to read the IMF's admission that all our allegations about the international agency's credibility, competence and corruption (which, as it implicitly admits, was also using taxpayer funds from around the world to preserve the way of life for a few parasitic and unelected European technocratic dictators). But perhaps the funniest is that the "world's bailout organization" (at least in the days before the New Normal) is actually charging $18.00 for every hard copy of the report in which it admits it was morally (if not financially, at least not yet) bankrupt.

So wasting hundreds of billions in taxpayer funds to preserve a broken monetary model and the wealth of a few good bankers is acceptable, but when it comes to attaching a stamp to a letter, the IMF is suddenly prudent and responsible?

Just when one thinks the IMF can't shock any more, they go ahead and fully redeem themselves.

Full report for which we will not charge one penny - pdf link.

 

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Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:22 | 3628128 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

Can I pay in Gold?  NEIN!

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:28 | 3628147 Jack's Digestib...
Jack's Digestible Ideas's picture

You see, they had to jack up the price, due to paper's increasing scarcity thanks to the Bernak and company.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:32 | 3628159 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Times is tough.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:41 | 3628184 cdntrader
cdntrader's picture

Sounds like paying a licence for open source!

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:21 | 3628294 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

Is that the same thing as paying $18.00 for a billion $ Zimbabwe note that is worth 1.00USD? You do it for posterity, not as a financial investment...

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:57 | 3628383 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Amazing what kind of stupidity one can get away with when there isn't a legal body on the planet with jurisdiction over you.

Full immunity, Bitchez!

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:57 | 3628384 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Amazing what kind of stupidity one can get away with when there isn't a legal body on the planet with jurisdiction over you.

Full immunity, Bitchez!

Thu, 06/06/2013 - 00:27 | 3628726 Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

Posterity is just around the corner.

Thu, 06/06/2013 - 09:36 | 3629387 InvestmentMind
InvestmentMind's picture

It wasn't the paper cost .... It was the ink.

Can't find ink in Greece or when writing about it.

 

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:30 | 3628152 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

Cant I just print the PDF or does the CIA get to occupy my house after that?

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 23:47 | 3628636 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

not sure.  possibly.  just don't mention the weather (especially snow, sleet, hail or "lightening").  see page 20 and following:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/82701103/Analyst-Desktop-Binder-REDACTED

and these are our rulers?  really?

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:33 | 3628165 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

It comes with a picture of the maid blowing DSK.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:01 | 3628243 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Why, it reminds me of a railroad bridge over the Mississippi River in the Twin Cities where as a lad I would climb around the primitive 'safety features' at night and out onto the girders and catwalk under the rail platform...eventually reaching these limestone pillars with cement caps in the middle of the river.

There, in this little-known and hard to reach spot, was a small circle of white-out.  Under it, also written in white-out, were the immortal words:

10 CENTS A JUMP

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:15 | 3628282 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

IMF LOGO

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:33 | 3628318 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  ;,;  Bearded clam

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:45 | 3628350 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

CLUB IMF

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:50 | 3628355 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

When you look at the abyss, the abitch also looks at you.  Nietzsche (paraphrasing).

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 23:52 | 3628660 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

mf global.  international mf.  eye of the beholder.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:40 | 3628482 chump666
chump666's picture

hahahahahahahahahahaahahah

 

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 23:23 | 3628594 not applicable
not applicable's picture

Yikes! Ghastly image.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:18 | 3628436 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

Can I pay in Gold?  NEIN!

It would be interesting to see if they accepted Greek government bonds as payment.

At par value, of course.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:22 | 3628130 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

May I use bailout money to buy a copy?  

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:22 | 3628134 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

$18? Does it come with a frame? 

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:28 | 3628146 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Over changing keeps it out of the hands of the riff raff. NO FRAME for you!

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:36 | 3628171 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Bollocks.  Would look great hanging up next to my tax rebate.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:54 | 3628374 Colonel Klink
Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:44 | 3628496 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Lol, brilliant!

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:34 | 3628167 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Still waiting on a reach around so I can leave a tip, please and thank you...

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:55 | 3628375 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

You're not getting a reach around, and you've already been given the tip.  The shaft comes next!

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:25 | 3628136 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

Recognising your own stupidity has a price.

By this measure, they're not even expensive...

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:30 | 3628138 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Cheap bastards...the US Labor Department wanted over a million to reveal its anonymous email accounts on a FOI...lol.

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/2013/06/ap-secret-email-addresses/65870/

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:26 | 3628139 knukles
knukles's picture

Idiot test:  Who pays the $18 for a copy?

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:28 | 3628307 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

Idiot test:  Who pays the $18 for a copy?

The IMF is fishing for greater fools.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:33 | 3628317 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Employees, even.

Thu, 06/06/2013 - 02:29 | 3628875 zhandax
zhandax's picture

The IMF is fishing for greater fools

Their client list perhaps?

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:50 | 3628514 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

I would just so I could have the pleasure of posting it immediately on PirateBay.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:26 | 3628140 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

You guys are morons.  Ask for a subsidy...

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:27 | 3628141 FLUSA.com
FLUSA.com's picture

can the pages be ripped out and reedeemed as currency?

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:28 | 3628145 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Why $18, what's wrong with $20?  I know, I know - they acted responsibly since they did not want to make an outrageous profit.  What saints they are......

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:28 | 3628148 SILVERGEDDON
SILVERGEDDON's picture

I diots

M otherfuckers

F uckheads

Don't even need the free report to figger thet there idiot part out about them there folks.

Stupid is as stupid does. 

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:29 | 3628149 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I will buy two copies if Christine Lagarde admits that he is a man.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:34 | 3628168 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I'll go four!...do I hear five?

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:42 | 3628185 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Hey Christine -- do you want to make $36 the hard way (inflation takes its toll once again)?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EqIsyTKYIk

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:49 | 3628202 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:30 | 3628311 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

I'll buy ten copies if Christine Lagarde admits that he's Angelo Mozilo.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:40 | 3628333 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Even the Matrix runs out of new characters after a while.  Good call.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:31 | 3628157 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

It's expensive being stupid.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:33 | 3628319 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

It's expensive being stupid.

Yes. Unfortunately, not nearly expensive enough, though.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:31 | 3628466 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

TheFourthStooge-ing-isms have been worth a lot of laughs to me.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:32 | 3628160 surf0766
surf0766's picture

From the world. Please shove that report up your asses!

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:33 | 3628161 mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

I have a Spiderman towel and 50% of my bank account that is frozen in Cyprus.  I'm good right?

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:33 | 3628162 Withdrawn Sanction
Withdrawn Sanction's picture

A year and 2 months after the SBA period under study ended.  Way to get right on that, IMF'rs.

It is very pretty in full color and nicely typset however.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:35 | 3628169 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

No inflation...

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:39 | 3628175 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Here comes BTFD!  ABE Kuroda, Tag teaming global bond markets!    Fucking leeches<

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:44 | 3628190 chump666
chump666's picture

Yen,

Did you note that the April sell off (US markets) was HFTs position adjustments, with shorts on top.  Got a little messy, but this market is NOT short till Asia blows up, Europe sinks and America (Wall Street) implodes (in that order).

JP Morgan selling illiquid assets (gold) smells like liquidity problems.

 

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:53 | 3628218 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     The April sell off was repositioning. Chump yer 10x smarter then those clones.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:43 | 3628491 chump666
chump666's picture

and i only got a bottle of bourbon (premium I must add) to show for it...

good luck with your FX trades.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:39 | 3628176 chump666
chump666's picture

F*ck the IMF. 

Disgusting bunch of sick looking turds.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:40 | 3628181 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Cock Suckers!

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:48 | 3628197 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Fuck you IMF you Cock Suckers!   There, I took two independent and obviously true comments and combined them into one.   The hard copy of my post is available for $18.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:44 | 3628349 chump666
chump666's picture

:)

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:46 | 3628192 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

International Mother Fuckers

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:02 | 3628248 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Tried to read the report......however, the Introduction took me back to my firebase.....and late night sprays of anti-intruder fire...

..taking my M-1 and setting it on auto and just doing a 65-70 degree sweep, trigger buried.....the smoke....the recoil...

 

..it's what I want to do to the douchebag who wrote this....and the scum that "approved it"....

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:49 | 3628200 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I'll tell them they're idiots for free.
Have them call me at 1-800-Fuck-You

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:49 | 3628203 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

The IMF is taking their money printing concept a little far with this one.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:12 | 3628278 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  IMF leaders admit they got sums wrong over Greece - Business News - Business - The Independent

   Tyler's got this hours ago. I just wanted to reiterate.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:46 | 3628338 newengland
newengland's picture

Dear Yen.

Print media is a village. The smart watch the smart. That's how it is. Citizen journalists are excellent when selective.

Always a good thing when corporatists are defied by those they think to be servile.

Life is a team effort. It is most important for traders to be most ruthless at this time. Facts are most important, regardless of politics.

:-)

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:42 | 3628339 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

They also called the crash years ahead of time -- seriously.    There is one coming, and readers of ZH will be prepared assuming they didn't lose it all shorting the market (I'm guilty of some early shorting, but I didn't go crazy).   I remember the crash coming in a few months like it was yesterday.  

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:46 | 3628354 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   I sense a connection.

 

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:50 | 3628206 The Proletariat
The Proletariat's picture

Perfectly written Headline...

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:54 | 3628209 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

"68. Nonetheless, there are possible lessons to be learned".

 

Even when they're admitting that they are twats, they still sound like twats!

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:51 | 3628210 diogeneslaertius
diogeneslaertius's picture

a winrar is zerohedge

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:10 | 3628223 newengland
newengland's picture

Only $18? Worth  twice the price to nail their coffin, and their vampire unregulated otc derivatives equal to more than global gdp.

Eejits, they are. Mere bureaucrats.

Former IMF head jerk DSK, leading candidate for the French Presidency has been found out to be a money whore like his wife, and the subject of police inquiry in France for sexual deviancy, and corruption.

Lagarde his replacement is the Marie Antoinette of her time, recently in court for old criminal allegations, fraud.

The Bilderberg Group meeting in London at the moment including Bernanke, and other banksters and corporatists sprinkled with a few chosen political type puppets have met their match.

China defies their solar panel trade war.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

That is you, Peter Mandelson paedophile, 'global consultant' for the Bilderberg Group,  New Labour no labour liar, pet of Russian oligarchs; no friend to Russia, not any nation, simply filling your arse and pocket for the Rothschild Zionist failures.

One child is every child, and David Patreus disgraces the Armed Forces by being a guest of the Rothschild/Rockefeller Nazionists at their marketing meeting of the Bilderberg Grouup.

Be afraid, Nazionists. Very afraid.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 20:55 | 3628228 geotrader
geotrader's picture

The International Monetary Fund (IMF) is an organization of 188 countries, working to foster global monetary cooperation, secure financial stability, facilitate international trade, promote high employment and sustainable economic growth, and reduce poverty around the world.

</sarc>

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:19 | 3628284 newengland
newengland's picture

Another globalist sham; the old feudalists, re-branded for modern warfare, and stealing the majority's money and labor.

While they systematically target state children's homes to be used for their perverted buggering of boys, eg Epstein in the U.S., assisting the House of Windsor, and Brussels EU perversions. All well documented, but not punished enough as the globalists own Wall St., Washington, and every other Western capital whose politicians are compromised by dirty deeds filmed by the Nazionist 'security forces'.

Mossad, CIA, Al-CIAda, Mi6 in the West.

Others in the rest.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:04 | 3628257 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

They should have just said there was only 1 copy and for safe keeping, it was in the basement offices of the Greek Finance Ministry.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:24 | 3628290 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Read it. Trash. Fucking Pixie Magic bleaching of the reality of the situation. It would take a psychopath to take this seriously.

No mention of the crash in medical health care via drug costs and debts to major Big Pharma companies, and the total inability of anyone in power to either a) structure contracts to allow "austerity provisions" or b) to switch to generics or even c) work out if breaking said contracts would be cheaper in penalty payments to get generics while people died:

Public sector wages and pensions were cut through elimination of 13th and 14th monthly payments, but with safeguards intended to protect the most vulnerable. Measures implemented in 2010–11 included cuts in public sector salaries, bonuses, and allowances, and steps to reduce health care spending on drugs.

This is a bit of an under-statement, people died you souless fools. Nice document: IMF LEVEL  - NO FUCKING STATS OR NUMBERS. Might want to look into (waaaay back when I mentioned it, and the Guardian picked it up) the actual effects. Health care in Greece at the moment is not pretty. And these fucking pigmies can't even plan for it.

Oh, and:

Privatization outcomes were disappointing. The authorities signaled a strong commitment to privatization in mid-2011 with parliamentary approval of a privatization and real estate development strategy. However, despite little progress having been made to date, the fourth review made extremely optimistic assumptions about privatization with envisaged receipts rising to €50 billion compared to about €10 billion in the original program. Such receipts became less important for debt sustainability from the fifth review once PSI was in prospect, plus equity prices had by that stage come down sharply. In the fifth review, much lower projections for
privatization receipts were made and in general the DSA was cast with more conservative assumptions.

And:

Actions were not taken to adjust private sector wages. While the program cut wages and bonuses in the public sector, there were no direct attempts to lower private sector wages. The EC took the view that forcing reductions in private wages, for example, through abolition of bonuses, was not critical: industry did not consider labor cost to be excessive and in any case exports were unlikely to be wage sensitive. Instead focus was on increasing the scope for wage bargaining at the firm level. The Fund agreed with the emphasis on bringing down public sector wages, noting the strong demonstration effect that this would have for the private sector.

Oh, wait. Not enough ME goons buying the public property. I'm sorry. Excuse me if I missed something here, but the bailout was E120 billion. How the fuck is selling off E50 billion of taxable / resources going to put a dent in that motherfucker? Apart from, you know, prevent anyone ever paying off said E120 billion loan? Oh, wait: where do you think the private sector (SME - non-Corporate) cash was coming from? And you think not reducing private wages was a mistake? How are you going to force multi-nationals to lower private wages? What the HOLY FUCK do you think the multinationals did once the rot set in? They fucking downsized, of course, and got the fuck out of dodge. The SMEs couldn't, so they're fucked.

 

And your own paper can't even put this really obvious fact into print. You know, because it was. So. Damn. Unexpected.

 

Rule #1. When we watch Lions take gazelles, no-one cares, because the Lion is one motherfucking majestic beast. This is like watching cockroaches eat a dead burger.

 

Fuck it. If you see any of these fools on the street, you should invoke your homo sapiens right to spit on them. They're playing Dolly-Make-Up rather than mature politics, all of them, so fuck it. It's as if you trusted the world to a bunch of middle ability managers who can run (just) a print out, but not reality. Total Joke. Time for change. The World is being run by bureaucrats - and the CCCP knows where that one went.

 

Hint: Next time you need toilet paper, you might just have to pay the IMF $18 to get something to wipe your ass with.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:30 | 3628312 newengland
newengland's picture

So very good of you to read the detail and comment with a good heart. One for all. All for one.

The world is a contest of ideas, but it is usually the case that power brokers only do the right thing after exhausting all other options, and fearful that their failures will burn them and their families.

Interesting that old man Paul Volcker ex-Fed Governor is daring to speak publically and criticise his successors. I guess he has grandchildren, and doesn't want to be blamed for ruining them. Not that his un-Federal no-Reserve Bored cared about ruining the world, for its corporatist agenda, brought to the USA in 1913, and the USA has seen endless war since then, made by the Nazionists, Vatican, Monarchy, worldwide.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:27 | 3628457 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Interesting posts.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:52 | 3628366 newengland
newengland's picture

The IMF have a faultless record: wrong mostly in their predictions and actions, given  the outcome of their actions.

The old men of the BIS are aware. Their problem is to contain the conflagration before it burns them, and theirs.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 21:56 | 3628378 criticalreason
criticalreason's picture

maybe they just trying to raise capitol for the next bailout?

 

u have to wonder if the same mistakes wud have been made had it been a non-european in charge? or someone with basic number skills?

 

I wonder if they have used the same mulitpliers on cyprus?

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:20 | 3628440 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

+5 to Tyler for the headline alone.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:36 | 3628469 Escapedgoat
Escapedgoat's picture

".................  Greece was to stay in the euro area and anestimated 20-30 percent competitiveness gap would be addressed through wageadjustment and productivity gains."

 

 

To be honest about it, I only saw the Title and the first page. Having experienced personally the "SUCCESS STORY", I counted the 51 pages, and thought, if i tore each page in half and used it??...................................nahh. FAR TOO EXPENSIVE  as a commodity in the Cloackroom (UK definition).

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:40 | 3628484 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

IMF - "It's Mine Fuckoff" - the true despicables...

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:46 | 3628502 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Es/DOW retrace. ( BTFD) before the massive October drop.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 22:47 | 3628505 LongBallsShortBrains
LongBallsShortBrains's picture

An ounce of silver and a latte, or an IMF report ?

Make it a mocha.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 23:15 | 3628578 pasmurf
pasmurf's picture

and how many European Countries' leaders voted for the IMF's growthsterity? Harvard educated Greek PM Samaras for one, and the lot of 'em.

Wed, 06/05/2013 - 23:33 | 3628610 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

Just another way for organization to discourage people from looking deeper... put up a paywall.

Thu, 06/06/2013 - 00:39 | 3628752 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Hard copy".

Shit, I'll give 'em a "hard copy"!

Thu, 06/06/2013 - 01:55 | 3628857 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

How nice it would be if the price we had to pay for stupidity was only $18.

Unfortunately the price of their stupidity will be paid for  in perpetuity unless the system totally blows up.

Thu, 06/06/2013 - 06:41 | 3629046 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Sure.  I'll take one.  Bill it to MO POMO.

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