The Truth About Wall Street Analysts & Why You Need Independence

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by Lance Roberts of Street Talk Live blog,

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ebworthen's picture

There are millions too many Mom's and Pop's (my Mom included) taking it in the shorts from their financial "advisors".

But, they trust the Nightly News with Brian Williams to tell them the truth too so...

Dr Benway's picture

Even an 'independent' stock picker will on average not perform better than a monkey in picking stocks, yet will charge fees. This is proven fact, yet somehow people find it impossible to accept, insisting on paying fees.

How could ancient civilizations spend so much of their output on things that did not add the value they purported? Imagine all the output spent on temples for the witchpriests, sacrifices for the witchdoctors, lavish upkeep for supposedly godly royals?

But today we have a similarly sized dead weight from the financial sector, with teareaders and bubble inflaters. Most of financial services is just that; picking stocks or lending for non-productive purposes, both enterprises with zero added value, yet comprising a third of the economy. These are our godly royals.

NotApplicable's picture

This article was written in 1983, or so... right?

What a fucking waste of effort.

Walt D.'s picture

"I got better information from the cab driver on the ride to the airport." - Nassin Tabeb, after a meeting with Wall Street analysts.

maskone909's picture

Can anyone confirm that france banned shipments of gold and silver via mail?

ebworthen's picture

I can't, but do you mean leaving the country or coming in or both?

Bullish for boxes labeled "lead fishing weights".

Bing translate says:  "pesées de plomb"

maskone909's picture

I believe both. I read it from a poorly written article here

Lead fishing weights LOL :)

thisandthat's picture




"L'insertion de billets de banque, de pièces et de métaux précieux est interdite dans les envois postaux, y compris dans les envois à valeur déclarée, les envois recommandés et les envois faisant l'objet de formalités attestant leur dépôt et leur distribution."

"The insertion of banknotes, coins and precious metals is forbidden in postal shipments, including shipments with declared value, registered mail and shipments subject to formalities intended to certify the posting and delivery thereof."

This seems highly in violation of the principle of free circulation of people, goods and capitals within the EU, btw, so probably won't stand a chance when challenged in EU courts.

XitSam's picture

What are these things call "Wall Street Analysts"? Do they have something to do with stacking?

Seasmoke's picture

I don't think the 45YO cops and firemen who retired are baby boomers. What are they called ?

I need Another Beer's picture

B Williams says " Heroes, warriors, smartest generation, care givers , etc...

I call'em 'Lucky shits"

Walt D.'s picture

The Millionaire next door.


I need Another Beer's picture

This explains propaganda. This explains stupid money. This explains "There's a sucker born every minute" is a phrase often credited to P. T. Barnum (1810–1891) Wiki. This explains lite beer !!


Someone puleeeze!! bring me some rot gut !!

disabledvet's picture

so first off "if the Baby Boomers have done nothing" (financially speaking of course...basically gone long Treasuries as they've aged) "they're sitting on a windfall right now." depending on their lifestyle, how things went with the kids, college, taxes, hospital name it...if they were able to "stand fast" and do nothing (did they need a financial advisor to do that did they? absolutely not) at all they've really done well. THAT is the most important lesson about the "the media" and "your money." THE MEDIA WILL NEVER TELL YOU THAT DOING NOTHING WITH IT IS A GOOD THING. but in fact...more often than is a GREAT thing. there will be a change at some point...perhaps soon, perhaps far.'re money might become really the 70's. i'm not a boomer but an obviously cynical Gen-X'er who really doesn't believe anything anyone says. Am i concerned about Social Security like BK is here? of course. i don't want Wall Street running that thing. do i want Obamacare to actually work so that i can start getting some actual health insurance for the first time in forever? absolutely. i've had Government health insurance "managed by the private sector." i will tell you for a fact it doesn't get any better. so sure..."divining intentions" is one thing. but speaking from experience is a whole 'nother thing entirely. THAT'S where the dialogue starts...not with "watch out...those people have an agenda." of course...this advice is given free of charge as well...i have no problem saying that either. probably why i'm not getting paid to write this stuff. but i do love all the billions trading against my mere..."far from it." God these people hate so. So much so the LOVE to announce their "massive intentions." But leaving aside how small their banks have become...where are these once proud Nations...indeed entire Continents now? At the behest and behold of some "dude on the internet"??!!

Yen Cross's picture

     The truth about "Wall Street Analysts", is that they bend over for counterparty offerings with irregular-regularity.

Strider52's picture

I know a financial planner, she's nearly broke, but still hanging on with borrowed money. After I went all-in in gold at $722/oz, I kept telling everyone to buy phys. Nobody listened. Then, when gold started breaking out big time, the financial planner had only one thing to say: "BUY GOLD". As soon as SHE said it, many of my friends bought phys. One gal bought a kilo brick. She's now my roommate. And she has trouble with boats, too.

MedicalQuack's picture

In doing my healthcare blog in the area of Health IT, I have had a couple analysts reach out to me when they got stumped as what was going on with the company went beyond the trading algorithms.  One was the big deal with Allscripts and to me, being a former programmer I knew exactly what happened when they had that terrible first quarter, they didn't have enough time to merge two different systems with a company they purchased.  As a geek you read between the lines a bit and the company had a CEO who was a rich figurehead and with no tech background that tried to project sales, etc. with software that was not done.  When the shares died and shereholders wanted where else to go.  But at any rate the analysts could not figure this out and again being in that field it was so obvious. 

I agree an independnt is much better to go with but caution with all for sure.  In the 5 yerars of my blog too I've been kicked out a bit out here, one by a hedge fund who hired some amateur reputation restore company to fix what folks found on Google...pretty funny story actually...but when the big money guys fall to getting sucked in with tech it is worth talking about now and then.

The best one though is Google, bit conglomerate that identified me as not being "machine name compliant" other words their machine learning technology took my last name of Duck and it translated out to me being a real fowl:)  I had to appeal to the big conglomerate and gee they told me I was right in my dispute..I was compliant...(grin)...I used my real name but again when the machines make errors like this one it is funny and makes you wonder if in the future if you have children if it will be a suggestion to choose machine compliant names:)

And again when the analytsts get stumped...well not too often that geeks have their day explaining math code and models:)  Remember Dimon does't understand them at all and look at the money he makes. 


Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Look, here's the truth (in almost all positions in society at this point): if you're working there, you've been selected because you respond in a certain way and won't rock the boat.

Filtering System > Education > Selects for Obedience > Trained > Emergent System that Selects for it's own Actors. This isn't rocket science.

"I'm sure you believe everything you say, but if you believed something different, you wouldn't be sitting where you're sitting".

Now (and naughty naughty of me here: you want it, there's a price, maybe my freedom is their freedom? What a twist), if you're part of a homo sapien system (be it a Society, a Corporation, a Nation, a Monarchy or a Sport's Team) you're selected to perform a role. How well you can internalize, modify, live with, exploit or otherwise negotiate emotionally with said role is your personal Odyssey. This is why America has such high stats of mental / emotional illness - your propaganda tells you explicitly that this isn't the case, that you're all special snowflakes and individuals and nothing exterior shapes you and your minds break through cognitive dissonance. The Chinese are much better at this than you. This is also why certain taboo techniques (blackmail, secret information, sexual deviancy, pedophilia, snuff, blood oaths, whatever) are used to bond you to the higher roles - it's used as a Fear / Threat model to prevent breakdown leading to the "Virtuous Sainthood" response (which would break the Game somewhat).

You can always find God, as long as you swear to silence and become a Monk, of course (watch the tweets out of the Vatican damping down the Pope's cries at the moment, and the less said about the children, the better). And, sorry Rand fans, but entrepreneur is one of the roles: you're still the canines. An extremely noble profession (more a Wolfhound than a Beagle), if you're not a cheating bastard (might want to look up the differences between Edison and Brunel someday - hint: Edison was a complete cunt), but a canine none-the-less.

Luckily, I'm a dog lover, not a cat lover.


There are those among you who can think beyond this, and create roles or are doing other things who are the exciting ones (and in many cases, crushing those who don't play by the rules. HAI! Yep, they tend to squish anyone pushing for a non-hierarchal version of the game, if you've not noticed).


None of this is important: if you want to win, identify the role, know the outputs said role expects and game them or embrace them or be happy with them or use them until you grow past them. It's not hard. Mostly it's Sociopaths who realize this, but there's no inherent reason that you have to be (it's just more common given their internal mind-set). Now, should it be this way? Maybe not. I get told off / shunned for playing the role of the psychopathic monkey icon. The white whale who swam alone singing to itself a genocidal song. The one true Cassandra singing of what-will-come. Memento incarnate. And so and so forth.

None of that is true, of course, but there's a point to it (and an internal cost, you'll never feel it, that's the point): You don't want my role to be necessary. Tick and Tock, both end. (And both fear the shock of the new, but both think they'll win - and neither get Spinoza). Engines and TVs, ceasing to work. Electrical bonds, forgetting their roles. Entropy in a spam-can. QM M.A.D. (The Universe is beige - if you like humor, that was the color of the 1970's).


You now possess the technology and genetic knowledge (close, probably 5 years) to massively upgrade the homo sapien cognitive experience (it's a U curve, so don't worry if you're smart - it'll merely boost the ones who aren't. And that includes the money makers, they're mostly only 10-20% higher than the commonality, that's why they get off on ruling over the hierarchy so badly. It's a psycho-sexual thing, something you'll notice that's massively crippled in the American model, it's by design - monotheistic religions are good at it, a free culture needed it more ingrained. So no tits on TeeVee). First one to start doing it properly will make billions.


Worrying about the Stock Market at this point in the Game is rather missing the point. It's going to crash, probably 2-3 months if no-one does anything, probably Feb 2014 if extraordinary measures are put in place. The worst thing that can happen now is that you all turtle up and refuse to move / grow or give into bloodbaths (And yes watchers, this is the irony).






Meh. Ron Paul is a bit old school. Oh, and one last riddle: if the Christian Religious ones are looking for the second coming, but everyone's been drinking the blood / eating the flesh, it's kinda the point that it's not a single dude this time. Basic Theology Logic 101. Just sayin'. But no, the Rapture is for retards. Srsly. Braaaaaains.

1C3-N1N3's picture

You must have a serial junker. That was a good post.

It meshes well with Celine's Second Law, the pre-selection of worker output that occurs in hierarchical humanity.


massively upgrade the homo sapien cognitive experience

I hope this happens -- looking forward to it. My shitty brain doesn't consistently (for lack of academically correct terms) tune into synchronicities and non-local...information(?)...nearly as well as I'd like it to. Tonight it's switched off. =/

tip e. canoe's picture

aurora's best posts are those with a couple pluses and one minus.

this one right here was epic and completely over the heads of most here unfortunately.

Aurora Ex Machina's picture

There's already nootropics, electrical stimulation, dietary information and the like that can easily do this, without having to tinker with embryos. As stated, it's a U curve, so the middle benefits most. Outliers don't really get a better deal, but there you go.

Correct diet has been shown through at least four solid peer reviewed studies to reduce youth prisoner violence by up to 40%; Computer Games have never been scientifically proven to increase aggression (in fact, there's slight evidence for the contrary). Which one do you see your paid up Company Congress Man trumpeting to be changed?



p.s. Hail Eris! Someone gets my jokes! (Although I can source all these - Discordia is fun n all, but there's more than one strand to a lyre)

1C3-N1N3's picture

If you're still hanging around, AEM, a couple things here...

First, will whoever stole Brother Reverend Magoun's pornography please return it. (So??)

Secondly, I was holding out for artilectual-style cyborg implants (preferably the ones with the patch that disables nerd-rage!)

Thirdly, I had entirely the wrongest impression of you at first. I do click on your links now. A note: you linked to Bjork's "Crystalline" in our previous exchange. Are you able to play a musical instrument?

I ask because there's something about playing another musician's work, note for note, (especially with instrumentals, although sometimes it's damn near impossible!) one begins to, imho, literally assume the brainwaves (again, for lack of academically correct terminology) of the artist. Even more so if one studies the artist's stage mannerisms. They think about a helluva lot more than music. It's weird. I'm not me when I do that.

Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Implants are already being tested (do a search - if CNN has it, I'm allowed to tell you; the hidden realm is a bit further ahead).

I'm not allowed to sing, for good reason.


It has nothing to do with music, per se.  

"We will sing the world". They create the world together by dancing and singing. As they do so, the earth forms and takes shape.

It's all the music of the Spheres. Memories of Whiteness; find it, read it, Grokk it.



Oh, my friend, we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts, the dreams are still the same



I will not bend; thus, I'm a bit of an outcast.

1C3-N1N3's picture

Really hope you stick around to read this, but I'm a slow fucker sometimes.

Implants are already being tested

I whole-heartedly wish them well. I want in on this, because I am dissatisfied with my current rate of learning. Would love to hear more and will research this on my own. Thank you.

music, per se

Sincerely, I am dumb as a brick, but I will tell you this: I listened to their WAV sample and that ain't no 52 hz. I clocked that (first by ear, then verified with my own pitch-generation software) at ~512 hz (a wonderful number btw -- run a sine/sawtooth/square wave at 512 and compare for yourself), it's a perfect octave above scientific-pitch "middle-C" which is 256 hz (scientific-pitch differentiates all octaves by powers of 2 based on the C tone).

In the womb, I kicked my mother in time to the beat of external music. I know music and I know tonality. I say that whale is singing exactly one octave above scientific middle-C at 512 hz. And if that conflicts with the article, then fine.

If you're referencing the whale's solitude, then coincidentally, welcome to the fucking club. Not trying to be a dick here, I do like you and sincerely believe that for the most part you are well above my paygrade. (And I've actually been dying to ask out of curiosity: what the hell are you?) But the only "those were the days" moments I can personally recall were school days: when I was too much of a quarterback for the honor roll kids, too much of an honor roll kid for the punk rockers, and too much of a punk rocker for the other quarterbacks. So, sveikas, fellow weirdo. Yes, there is a broader scope in play, but I haven't known it.

As to your third link, please correct me if I've misinterpreted, but my initial reaction is: no. No, no, no, NO! Emotions are your friend. They are fuel. You put that fuel into a "good" (define that as you see fit) purpose, and they will carry you well. I look no farther than the Tylers for evidence of that. They're fucking passionate.

To rely 100% on left-brained logic is to rob oneself of half one's brainpower. Logic merely verifies (or disqualifies) what the intuitive hemisphere knows (or doesn't know) automatically. Those who abandon the right hemisphere have succumbed to a sort of l'appel du vide (original, and I daresay I've encrypted just as much human history in those notes as anyone else has by other means). Remember where love originates. Remember where identity originates, even if you take a lot of cognitive vacations (best term I could devise here, for departure from one's own mind). The problem I run into with trying to find "objective" answers is that, as Robert Anton Wilson said, any model of the universe that you construct that excludes you, and your personal biases, is an incomplete model. Goddess help us if that results in a slight change in initial conditions for the model. Consider me in the Steve Pavlina camp to some degree there.

Look, I honestly think I'm out-gunned here, so please fire at will because I want to improve, but don't give up on me just yet.

As a last note, if teh netz must be destroyed, we (or at least I) can rest assured ZHer's and others will pop up on private networks after the fact. Networks > Hierarchies.

Aurora Ex Machina's picture

It'd be unwise to view me as anything but an extremely silly and malevolent sprite, I'm no Indian with a spot on her forehead.

Third link was a bit lazy of me, so apologies (let's just say I was incapacitated at the time), relies on knowing the film. The counter-point / outcome is this. Unity of both, without existential excess or exclusion. Balance, if you will.


p.s. Algos are fully able to strip data from YouTube links; at the very least Title, subject, duration etc. They're very proud of their language reading abilities - the next stage is meta-content.

1C3-N1N3's picture

Even a simple bard like me knows his sprites (and blitter objects). I was thinking something closer to fallen-angel territory.

[No need to apologize, I've watched very few films. I'm more of a Nobuo Uematsu type, in practice.]

WillBest's picture

What do you need an analyst for, the stock market is about emotion.  Somebody looking at numbers isn't going to tell you anything. 

MachineMan's picture

I don't need an analyst, I have Creamer.

MrBoompi's picture

Find one of Goldman's muppets and do the opposite of what they're told.

Pike Bishop's picture

If this is news to somebody at this point, they don't likely have enough money left to do anything about it.

Colonel Klink's picture

There's a reason why they call them brokers, because after they're done with you, you're broker.

Vooter's picture

Why aren't these people being gassed? How else are we going to clean up this mess?