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Tyler Durden's picture

Show me the mo' money





BN 11:25 *OBAMA ASKS BUSH TO NOTIFY CONGRESS OF INTENT TO SEEK TARP FUNDS

speaks for itself

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Mad-Cave Blueprints Procured





Well, it isn't apartment 14A/B in 740 Park, but Bernie's $7 million Guantanamo will make most studio and one bedroom NY dwellers green with unponziated envy.

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Citi Lives the Telecom Dream as Nortel is About to Wake





It is good to see that even as the good men leaving the yellow van carrying a straight jacket (specifically outfitted with a bro/manzier for obvious purposes) are climbing up the arduous 59 stor

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Dead Men Walking in South Beach





In what is the greatest annual boondoggle in the hedge fund community, the JP Morgan South Beach Conference, this year held February 2-4 in the Loews Hotel, one should be able to spot some very good leading trends of the credit markets for this year.

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Mad-Cave Blueprints Procured





Well, it isn't apartment 14A/B in 740 Park, but Bernie's $7 million Guantanamo will make most studio and one bedroom NY dwellers green with unponziated envy.

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Friday Night Rumor: MGM Selling Mirage to Penn Natl





After losing his shirt, bifocals, and the backup tire of his Jeep Cherokee by assuming that Ford and GM are actually competitive in the global car market, Kirk Kerkorian is allegedly selling one of his prize jewels on the LV strip: the MGM Mirage.

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Dead Men Walking in South Beach





In what is the greatest annual boondoggle in the hedge fund community, the JP Morgan South Beach Conference, this year held February 2-4 in the Loews Hotel, one should be able to spot some very good leading trends of the credit markets for this year.

 
Tyler Durden's picture

A Good Start...





...Is 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean...

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Bernie Forced To Find More Creative Ways to Launder Assets





BN 12:09 *BERNARD MADOFF STAYS FREE, MAGISTRATE JUDGE RULES
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*MADOFF IS CHARGED WITH SECURITIES FRAUD IN $50 BLN PONZI SCHEME
*MADOFF HAS BEEN UNDER HOUSE ARREST, GUARD, ELECTRONIC MONITOR
*MADOFF'S ATTORNEY SAID TRANSFER WAS AN `INNOCENT' MISTAKE'
*FEDERAL PROSECUTORS SAID BERNARD MADOFF IGNORED COURT RULING

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Timmmmmmmaaaayyyyyy.... reincarnated





Yep folks, the man, the myth, the my-mom-does-my laundry womanizer may be gone (only temporarily - you can't get rid of Tim Sykes... something about weeds or cockroaches), but his spirit lives on. Just click here: http://www.greenwichtime.com/ci_11421481

 
Tyler Durden's picture

S&P Pretending Like Its Opinion Still Matters





One can say many things about the ratings agencies, one could be bribed and even say one good thing, but recently S&P has decided to get really proactive to have some ammo ahead of the inevitable congressional hearings (Moody's has Buffet in its back pocket so smooth sailing over there).

 
Tyler Durden's picture

UBS in Serious Need of Editorializing





In what might be a blatant example of investment banking schizophrenia, or merely a good-ole "talking up the book", two of UBS key "strategists", Larry Hathaway and David Bianco, in the span of 1 business day, manage to come out with two essentially contradictory reports.

 
Tyler Durden's picture

I Am The Retarded Plebs' Smirking Revenge





Just as our funny-speaking cousins 3 hours east of us (via Concorde; probably more like 15 hours if using one of American Airlines' retrofitted B-707 with almost two wings and a fully operational engine, and that includes the 8 hour unairconditioned tarmac wait at JFK and Heathrow) thought that the Waxman witch trials would be confined to the likes of Jim

 
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