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A Peek Inside The NSA's Control Room

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Artist's impression of course. Now: who can't wait to become a not so secret NSA agent and wear Google (spy)Glass everywhere?

 

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Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:44 | 3632981 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Hey....there's me!

 

3rd row......27th monitor.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:47 | 3632986 imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

I bet it won't be long before this data is monitored in real time by HFT algos

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:50 | 3632991 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

...and then pricing data "customized" for your specific terminal's output...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:56 | 3633001 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

No wonder congressmen dabble in Insider trading....they know!

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:09 | 3633036 Precious
Precious's picture

BOLO for YOU ...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:23 | 3633056 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Ha!... On this page... an 'INVEST IN ISRAEL BONDS' ad cookie shows up...

~~~

You just can't make this shit up...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:28 | 3633095 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

and din din last night with with Silicon Valley Royalty 

 

http://techcrunch.com/2013/06/06/president-obama-to-visit-silicon-valley...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:45 | 3633161 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Nothing that a few Molatov Cocktales throen at it can't solve. Just make sure the "Agent Smiths" are inside.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:06 | 3633261 crito
crito's picture

NSA can set me up with an anal probe so they can smell my shit in real time if they want !!

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:21 | 3633322 NewThor
NewThor's picture

I made a video about Domino's Pizza Spy Drones.

Enjoy!

http://youtu.be/zr1iJwJ9ryQ

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 10:11 | 3633503 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

2 nice chats this morning: One with Glenn Greenwald, the boy who blew the latest lid off this story (now being hunted down by the fed's heyena's), the other with Anwar Awlaki's father.

I keep forgetting what (former) spokemodel Gibbs said (when confronted by the lack of evidence and due process) about the 16 year old US citizen son who was murdered at the cafe having tea - "well, he should have had a more responsible father"

what kind of crap has our country become? 

betya a dollar Greenwald's either in a hole or holed up in an embassy soon....

http://www.democracynow.org/  at 10min

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 10:21 | 3633557 WarriorClass
WarriorClass's picture


The Fourth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States:

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

The FBI, IRS, DOJ, DHS, CIA, the Supreme Court, and the White House are no longer a legitimate governing body, having broken their governing contract with the states (the Constitution) on so many occasions, as to render it broken and void.

The fact that every State Government has allowed this to continue on so long a time, renders their governing contract just as void and illegitimate as the Federal Government's.

It's way past time to start over, people.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 16:22 | 3635129 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

You got that right. We have criminals in all branches of Government. 

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 20:12 | 3635816 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

If that were the real center 60% of the screens would be showing porn.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:11 | 3633275 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

I get ads for Video Games, Gold Coins and Naked Ladies - yup they got me all figured out

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:40 | 3633403 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

A  D  B  L  O  C  K

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 11:00 | 3633697 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I generally like the ads... They help me to know just how fucked up I really am...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 13:39 | 3634450 AKrandy
AKrandy's picture

Israeli bombs... bullish.

 

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:09 | 3633032 Manthong
Manthong's picture

The big problem in video surveillance is too many scenes and not enough eyeballs to watch.

Already, there is a galaxy of algo’s that are designed to quantify and analyze faces, objects and situations that meet or do not meet certain situational criteria and then channel a particular camera to an operator for further action.

The computers do the initial work.. then the agent of the state takes over…   the more cameras and  the more computers, the less the ability for you to live or act unobserved by the state.

It is simple, and the Chinese can produce cameras and computers like popcorn.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:13 | 3633049 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

They've come up with a giant CPU for processing the information, it's said to be infallible: http://www.findheaders.com/covers-images/download/Homer-Simpson-Brain.jpg

I think Biden was the model...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:34 | 3633115 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

A friend of mine has a surveilance company with smart camera's which he rents out for events and are also being installed in big cities.

The hardware is damn cheap and half of his source code comes from open source robotica systems.

His software can recognice weapons, blood, violence, sudden moves, cars, face recognition... you name it.

It doesn't even need people to opperate.

And his business is booming since 2005.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:48 | 3633171 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

I bet he's quite the alarmist when dealing with clients. He's business model is based on hypothetical false narratives & fear.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:41 | 3633407 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Unbridled proliferation is the problem..

If a piece of luggage sits unattended in an airport or a vehicle outside a government building for long, the odds are that it will be noticed by a camera and computer nowadays.

You can’t really object to that, but I don’t want the state to have the all the metadata from images, computer communications and phones to reconstruct every moment and action of every person’s life.

That is the same freedom a goldfish has.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:47 | 3633426 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

I was wondering who that was jerking off to a picture of Blythe Masters

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:43 | 3632982 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

This NSA/IRS stuff is becoming somewhat of a distraction. This would be a good time for an absolute blow out NFP number. You know, get us back to talking about the recovery. Put me down for plus 256k. Just because.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:36 | 3633123 CPL
CPL's picture

Indeed.

 

In IT we call it showcasing vapourware.  You show a little demo, to get a bigger pile of money.  

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:43 | 3632983 caShOnlY
caShOnlY's picture

bloomberg terminals!! thought so!!

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:45 | 3632985 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Keep in mind the google glasses are 1st generation. I am quite sure the subsequent efforts can be hidden in buttons, rings, berettes and even better hidden in glasses. This is only the beginning.

There are spies everywhere - stay pure, stay true to yourself and your beliefs.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:11 | 3633039 duo
duo's picture

When one third of the people in the US are either spying on, ratting on, or standing guard over the other two thirds, we will have achieved utopia, East Germany style.

No offense to the former DDR.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:23 | 3633077 August
August's picture

None taken.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 13:44 | 3634459 AKrandy
AKrandy's picture

Oh yeah, I'd rub them shoulders.

Can't even be said with a straight face, blecchhh!!

Banzai must have some pics of her in dominatrix attire?

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 13:09 | 3634265 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

The other 2/3 got really good at adapting to this spy-race, and 'played the game, using the old tried & proven: "If you can't beat them on principle, you beat them on procedure".  It worked, and life went on.

All that happened was that the system became so inefficient and unproductive, that it had to collapse in time.  Same thing will happen here. 

You just can't beat the Laws of Nature or Laws of Human Nature.  You can defy them for a time (at a price!) but you can't beat them.

p.s. I like what they've done to Weimar and 'Leipzsch'. 

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:50 | 3632992 JonNadler
JonNadler's picture

what's morgan freeman doing there?

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:05 | 3633023 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

Can't stand that fuckwad

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:24 | 3633080 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Actually I think it's Randolph Duke checking in on Clarence Beeks... [the bow tie is a dead giveaway]...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:06 | 3633029 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

He's inside the Wormhole...

DaddyO

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:35 | 3633118 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

they needed a black guy to make it look like it's a good thing for the simple folks who aren't racists and need to prove it.

 

 

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 12:32 | 3634088 JonNadler
JonNadler's picture

you took the words right out of my mouth

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:51 | 3632993 SISSYFUSS
SISSYFUSS's picture

2600,  (CDC),  (MDA),  (WHO) (and components),  Abu Sayyaf,  Afghanistan,  Agriculture,  Agro,  Agro Terror,  Aid,  Airplane (and derivatives),  Airport,  Al Qaeda (all spellings),  Al-Shabaab,  Ammonium nitrate,  AMTRAK,  Anthrax,  Antiviral,  AQAP (AL Qaeda Arabian,  AQIM (Al Qaeda in the,  Arellano-Felix,  Artistic Assassins,  Assassination,  Attack,  Authorities,  Avalanche,  Avian,  Bacteria,  Barrio Azteca,  BART,  Basque Separatists,  Beltran-Leyva,  Biological,  Biological infection (or,  Biological weapon,  Biosurveillance Integration,  Black out,  Blister agent,  Blizzard,  Body scanner,  Bomb (squad or threat),  Border,  Botnet,  Breach,  Bridge,  Brown out,  Brush fire,  Brute forcing,  Burn,  Burst,  Bust,  Cain and abel,  Calderon,  Cancelled,  Car bomb,  Cartel,  Cartel de Golfo,  Center for Disease Control,  Center),  Chemical,  Chemical agent,  Chemical burn,  Chemical fire,  Chemical spill,  Chemical weapon,  China,  CIKR (Critical Infrastructure & Key Resources),  Ciudad Juarez,  Closure,  Cloud,  Cocaine,  Collapse,  Colombia,  Communications,  Computer infrastructure,  Conficker,  Consular,  Contamination,  Conventional weapon,  Cops,  Crash,  Crest,  Critical infrastructure,  Cyber attack,  Cyber Command,  Cyber Security,  Cyber terror,  DDOS (dedicated denial of,  Deaths,  Decapitated,  Delays,  Denial of service,  Detection Office),  Device),  Dirty bomb,  Disaster,  Disaster assistance,  Disaster management,  Disaster medical assistance,  DNDO (Domestic Nuclear,  Dock,  Domestic nuclear detection,  Domestic Security,  Drill,  Drug,  Drug Administration (FDA),  Drug cartel,  Drug trade,  Drug war,  E. Coli,  Earthquake,  Ebola,  Eco terrorism,  El Paso,  Electric,  Emergency,  Emergency Broadcast System,  Emergency Landing,  Emergency management,  Emergency response,  Enriched,  Environmental terrorist,  Epidemic,  equivalents),  Erosion,  ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna),  Evacuation,  event),  Execution,  Exercise,  Explosion (explosive),  Exposure,  Extreme weather,  Extremism,  Facility,  Failure or outage,  FARC (Armed Revolutionary,  First responder,  Flood,  Flu,  Food Poisoning,  Foot and Mouth (FMD),  Forces Colombia),  Forest fire,  Fort Hancock,  Front),  Fundamentalism,  Gang,  Gangs,  Gas,  Grid,  Gulf Cartel,  Gunfight,  Guzman,  H1N1,  H5N1,  Hacker,  Hail,  Hamas,  Hazardous,  Hazardous material incident,  Hazmat,  HAZMAT & Nuclear,  Health Concern + H1N1,  Help,  Heroin,  Hezbollah,  Home grown,  Homeland security,  Hostage,  Human to Animal,  Human to human,  Hurricane,  Ice,  IED (Improvised Explosive,  Illegal immigrants,  Improvised explosive device,  Incident,  Industrial spill,  Infection,  Influenza,  infrastructure,  Infrastructure Security,  initiative,  Interstate,  IRA (Irish Republican Army),  Iran,  Iraq,  Islamic Maghreb),  Islamist,  Jihad,  Juarez,  Keylogger,  Kidnap,  La Familia,  Law enforcement,  Leak,  Lightening,  Listeria,  Lockdown,  Looting,  Los Zetas,  Magnitude,  Malware,  Mara salvatrucha,  Marijuana,  Maritime domain awareness,  MARTA,  Matamoros,  Meth Lab,  Methamphetamine,  Metro,  Mexican army,  Mexicles,  Mexico,  Michoacana,  Militia,  Mitigation,  MS13 or MS-13,  Mud slide or Mudslide,  Mutation,  Mysql injection,  Narco banners (Spanish,  Narcos,  Narcotics,  National infrastructure,  National laboratory,  National preparedness,  National security,  Nationalist,  NBIC (National,  Nerve agent,  New Federation,  Nigeria,  Nogales,  North Korea,  Norvo Virus,  Nuclear,  Nuclear facility,  Nuclear threat,  Nuevo Leon,  Organization,  Organized crime,  Outbreak,  Pakistan,  Pakistan),  Pandemic,  Peninsula),  Phishing,  Phreaking,  Pipe bomb,  Pirates,  Plague,  PLF (Palestine Liberation,  PLO (Palestine Liberation,  Plot,  Plume,  Police,  Pork World Health Organization,  Port,  Port Authority,  Powder (white),  Power,  Power lines,  Power outage,  Prevention,  Public Health,  Quarantine,  Radiation,  Radicals,  Radioactive,  Recall,  Recovery,  Recruitment,  Relief,  Resistant,  Response,  Reynosa,  Reyosa,  Ricin,  Riot,  Rootkit,  Salmonella,  San Diego,  Sarin,  Scammers,  Screening,  Security,  Service disruption,  service),  Shelter-in-place,  Shooting,  Shootout,  Shots fired,  Sick,  Sinaloa,  Sleet,  Small Pox,  Smart,  Smuggling (smugglers),  Snow,  Social media,  Somalia,  Sonora,  Southwest,  Southwest Border Violence,  Spammer,  Spillover,  Standoff,  State of emergency,  Storm,  Strain,  Stranded/Stuck,  Subway,  Suicide attack,  Suicide bomber,  Suspicious package/device,  Suspicious substance,  SWAT,  Swine,  Symptoms,  Taliban,  Tamaulipas,  Tamiflu,  Tamil Tigers,  Target,  team (DMAT),  Telecommunications,  Temblor,  Terror,  Terrorism,  Threat,  Tijuana,  Tornado,  Torreon,  Toxic,  Trafficking,  Transportation security,  Tremor,  Trojan,  Tsunami,  Tsunami Warning Center,  TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban,  Tuberculosis (TB),  Tucson,  Twister,  Typhoon,  U.S. Consulate,  Vaccine,  Violence,  Viral Hemorrhagic Fever,  Virus,  Warning,  Watch,  Water/air borne,  Wave,  Weapons cache,  Weapons grade,  Weather/Disaster/Emergency,  Wildfire,  WMATA,  Worm,  Yemen,  Yuma, FUCK YOU BERNANKE!!!

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:07 | 3633031 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

+1000 keywords, nice!

Like how you worked in the FU B...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:21 | 3633073 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

No Wink Martindale?

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:25 | 3633084 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Sure glad there isn't Fuck You Bernanke included..........oh.......wait

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:01 | 3633231 kralizec
kralizec's picture

If we send to all using every device, email account etc and keep hitting reply all can we crash this fothermucker?!

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:35 | 3633376 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

We probably aren't legion enough to crash it but we could sure send them on one hell of lot of wild goose chases.  New diktat making sending keywords electronically an illegal act in 3...2...1...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:17 | 3633044 Precious
Precious's picture

<- Deep packet inspection

<- Keylogger / Application daemon

           +72  <- Being surveilled by both the above

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:15 | 3633051 duo
duo's picture

what if a Russian hacker could spoof emailand send a "where is my pressure cooker?" message from 100 million email accounts?  then we would all be on the terrorist watch list (which might be the plan all along).

It would take a long time to kick in 100 million front doors.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:37 | 3633124 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

YES!! WE CLEARLY NEED MORE DRONES OR ROBOTS WHO CAN DO THAT!!

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 10:31 | 3633598 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

It would be easier to and far more frustrating for the NSA to communicate by placing messages in Nigerian spam email or YouTube videos (oldschool visual not digital stego) - bury them in bullshit and force them to sacrifice huge CPU cycles looking for ever smaller needles in ever larger haystacks... 

One doesn't need to be cryptic, just esoteric - and their workload increases exponentially, because cryptic is much easier to spot and pull out of an internet tube for further analysis.

 

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 17:03 | 3635269 SISSYFUSS
SISSYFUSS's picture

or you could use random sentence generators with desired keywords and make sure no two 'walls of text' are identical (to keep 'them' from ignoring a recognized pattern)  lol

the possibilities are endless... BITCHEZ

Ice, Gas, Flu, Aid, Yuma, Worm, Wave, SWAT, Snow, Sick, Riot, Port, Plot, Leak, Iraq, Iran, Help, Hail, H5N1, H1N1, Grid, Gang, Drug, Dock, Cops, Bust, Burn, BART, Agro, 2600, Yemen, WMATA, Watch, Virus, Toxic, Swine, Storm, Smart, Sleet, Sarin, Ricin, Power, Plume, Metro, MARTA, Jihad, Hamas, Gangs, Flood, Ebola, Drill, Crest, Crash, Cloud, China, Burst, Avian, (MDA), (CDC), Tucson, Trojan, Tremor, Threat, Terror, Target, Subway, Strain, Sonora, Reyosa, Relief, Recall, Police, Plague, Narcos, Mexico, Kidnap, Juarez, Heroin, Hazmat, Hacker, Guzman, Front), event), Delays, Deaths, Cartel, Bridge, Breach, Botnet, Border, Attack, AMTRAK, Warning, Vaccine, Typhoon, Twister, Tsunami, Torreon, Tornado, Tijuana, Temblor, Tamiflu, Taliban, Spammer, Somalia, Sinaloa, Rootkit, Reynosa, Pirates, Nuclear, Nogales, Nigeria, Militia, Malware, Looting, Hostage, Erosion, El Paso, E. Coli, Device), Cocaine, Closure, Center), Anthrax, Airport, Wildfire, Violence, Symptoms, Standoff, Shootout, Shooting, service), Security, Scammers, Response, Recovery, Radicals, Phishing, Pandemic, Pakistan, Outbreak, Mutation, Mexicles, Meth Lab, Lockdown, Listeria, Islamist, Incident, Gunfight, Facility, Exposure, Exercise, Epidemic, Enriched, Electric, Drug war, Disaster, Consular, Colombia, Collapse, Chemical, Car bomb, Calderon, Blizzard, Bacteria, Terrorism, Spillover, Southwest, Small Pox, Screening, San Diego, Resistant, Radiation, Pipe bomb, Phreaking, Pakistan), Narcotics, Matamoros, Marijuana, Magnitude, Los Zetas, Keylogger, Influenza, Infection, Hurricane, Hezbollah, Hazardous, Extremism, Execution, Emergency, Conficker, Cancelled, Brown out, Black out, Avalanche, Antiviral, Tamaulipas, Salmonella, Quarantine, Prevention, Peninsula), Nuevo Leon, Mitigation, Michoacana, Lightening, La Familia, Interstate, initiative, Home grown, Evacuation, Earthquake, Drug trade, Dirty bomb, Brush fire, Biological, Al-Shabaab, Abu Sayyaf, Trafficking, team (DMAT), Shots fired, Recruitment, Radioactive, Power lines, Norvo Virus, North Korea, Nerve agent, Nationalist, Gulf Cartel, Forest fire, Drug cartel, Decapitated, Authorities, Agro Terror, Agriculture, Afghanistan, Tamil Tigers, Social media, Power outage, Organization, Mexican army, Fort Hancock, equivalents), Cyber terror, Cyber attack, Body scanner, Weapons grade, Weapons cache, Public Health, MS13 or MS-13, Eco terrorism, Cyber Command, Contamination, Ciudad Juarez, Chemical fire, Chemical burn, Cain and abel, Brute forcing, Blister agent, Beltran-Leyva, Barrio Azteca, Assassination, U.S. Consulate, Suicide bomber, Suicide attack, Stranded/Stuck, Powder (white), Port Authority, Nuclear threat, New Federation, NBIC (National, infrastructure, Human to human, Fundamentalism, Food Poisoning, Cyber Security, Communications, Chemical spill, Chemical agent, Arellano-Felix, Water/air borne, Organized crime, Mysql injection, Methamphetamine, Law enforcement, Human to Animal, First responder, Extreme weather, Chemical weapon, Cartel de Golfo, Shelter-in-place, Nuclear facility, Mara salvatrucha, Islamic Maghreb), Industrial spill, HAZMAT & Nuclear, Forces Colombia), Ammonium nitrate, Tuberculosis (TB), National security, I surfed at home., Homeland security, Failure or outage, Emergency Landing, Domestic Security, Detection Office), Denial of service, Biological weapon, Telecommunications, State of emergency, Service disruption, Illegal immigrants, Emergency response, Basque Separatists, Artistic Assassins, National laboratory, Disaster management, Disaster assistance, Conventional weapon, Anthony owns a cup., Suspicious substance, He has a motorcycle., Foot and Mouth (FMD), Emergency management, TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban, Smuggling (smugglers), National preparedness, Mud slide or Mudslide, I have a big sweater., Health Concern + H1N1, Explosion (explosive), AQIM (Al Qaeda in the, Tsunami Warning Center, Osama owns a dry book., Narco banners (Spanish, DNDO (Domestic Nuclear, Bomb (squad or threat), AQAP (AL Qaeda Arabian, (WHO) (and components), Viral Hemorrhagic Fever, Transportation security, Those pilots jump here., She doesn't have a box., National infrastructure, Infrastructure Security, Environmental terrorist, Critical infrastructure, Computer infrastructure, I didn't surf in London., He has a cup over there., Biological infection (or, Al Qaeda (all spellings), They fought in the river., Suspicious package/device, Southwest Border Violence, PLO (Palestine Liberation, PLF (Palestine Liberation, Obama doesn't own a dish., Maritime domain awareness, IED (Improvised Explosive, I laugh in the mountains., FARC (Armed Revolutionary, Drug Administration (FDA), DDOS (dedicated denial of, Weather/Disaster/Emergency, The bus driver has a book., I am jumping in the river., Emergency Broadcast System, Domestic nuclear detection, Did Edward ski by the sea?, Center for Disease Control, Airplane (and derivatives), This isn't Patricia's belt., IRA (Irish Republican Army), Improvised explosive device, I don't have a cold letter., Hazardous material incident, ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna), Disaster medical assistance, Biosurveillance Integration, This is Tony's large camera., Obama isn't praying at home., Edward doesn't have a hammer., Pork World Health Organization, I was dancing among the trees., Jackie doesn't own a clean cup., This plain bag belongs to Obama., This is Joanne's mother's dress., Mary didn't study on the street., Bernanke was running by the sea., This isn't Bernanke's new letter., Martha doesn't have a light belt., I don't have a hammer by the sea., Did Obama talk at the barbershop?, This isn't Bernanke's large knife., That politician studied at school., I am not singing below the bridge., Those janitors own many cold boats., Those bartenders own many dry cars., This camera belongs to Fred's wife., That fisherman shouted at the bank., Obama has some keys at the company., The police officers have some trucks., Osama wasn't skiing below the bridge., Obama has some shoes near our school., Suzanne has some clothes near my home., Fred's wife wasn't surfing in New York., That scientist doesn't have a large hat., Osama was shouting behind the post office., Is Pete walking in the mountains nowadays?, Are you science teachers laughing at home?, Tony doesn't play between the two mountains., Those managers are not jogging near my home., Doesn't Meg walk next to the police station?, That gardener isn't working at the bookstore., Osama isn't talking at the bank at this time., Those science teachers drove below the bridge., Is the photographer laughing in the classroom?, CIKR (Critical Infrastructure & Key Resources), Weren't those car mechanics dancing by the sea?, Those teachers are sleeping at school nowadays., Those photographers don't own a single big bag., Those bartenders ate between the two mountains., Is Debbie skiing near our school at the moment?, Don't those photographers shout near our school?, Wasn't Buddy sleeping in front of the restaurant?, Those flight attendants own many large umbrellas., The bartenders have a some glasses on the street., I am not shaving next to the police station today., Weren't those journalists jumping in the mountains?, That news announcer isn't driving below the bridge., Betsy's nephew is running between the two mountains., Anthony doesn't have a box between the two mountains., Those librarians are not skiing in New York right now., Mr. Hanson isn't reading in London right at this time., Are the farmers talking at the drugstore at the moment?, That spy isn't dancing between the two mountains just now, Those news announcers don't own a single beautiful hammer., Sandra doesn't have a pair of pliers between the two buildings., Those computer programmers are not singing on the top of the mountain at the moment. FUCK YOU BERNANKE!!!

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 17:23 | 3635346 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

The forthcoming JV between the Echelon & Onyx geeks will thank you for that...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:32 | 3633106 SIOP
SIOP's picture

Years ago, in early internet days (1999), there was a special day set aside called "Echelon Day" where us geeks would write emails to each other containing what we thought would be sensitive words that would be picked up by the Echelon system with the thought being that if a bunch of people did it, it would overload the Echelon system.

Believe me, this NSA surveillance has been secretly going on for a long long time already.

 

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:39 | 3633136 pods
pods's picture

Exactly, this has been going on since they gained the capability.

And it is in no way to catch "terrists," a terrist will only kill some amerikans.  Terrrism is merely the cover.

It is to keep tabs on anything that will threaten the status quo and hence their power.

That is the real target.  

Dissent.

pods

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:07 | 3633266 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Dissent is mandatory, resistance is mandatory...get them before they get you.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:49 | 3633435 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Its like the old (incredibly naive) story "Why worry if you have nothing to hide?"

Well, let me spell it out for the naive.  If they can legally read your e-mail, then they can also plant evidence in your inbox, etc.  Or, that when they tell people "We found some highly illegal material on the suspect's computer," you (the public) have to take their word for it!

Because if you're not doing anything wrong, no big deal to be framed, right?  Oh, but they would never do that...  Withholding 'evidence' from the public?  Never!

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 18:21 | 3635513 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Wow! That takes me back. I remember Echelon day. The geeks didn't just email other geeks. We significant others got drawn in as well. Mr Miffed would alert me so I would be an effective participant. Probably not very effective but we had fun venting. Gosh, I hope the developement of the surveillance we have today isn't the result of that!

Miffed;-)

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:47 | 3633169 savagegoose
savagegoose's picture

SHARED TO FACEBOOK, SEE HOW MANY OF PALS DROP ME.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 10:20 | 3633555 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Just did the same and also sent to Lew Rockwell.  Let's fill the Interwebs with that post.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:52 | 3633185 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Would you mind if I copied that and e-mailed it to myself?  Thanks.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:11 | 3633279 samsara
samsara's picture

Now if we ALL simply would have this as our footer on our emails we could drowned them in data.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:26 | 3633345 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

I'm disappointed. You didn't slip a crafty 'Bitchez' in there.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 13:22 | 3634351 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

I vote for overloading their bandwidth, by... using the above (sissyfuss) text and attaching it to the next chain-letter.  But, you paste it in so that ppl won't notice it and will them propagate the text when they pass on the letter. 

Reduce the font to 8 or smaller, turn then font color to the palest shade of gray possible.  When the chain mail propagates, so does this red-flag content.  Thus having flags keep popping up everywhere.

Make Bandwidth your BNF.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:55 | 3632996 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

I see that high on the agenda of the president's meeting with Jinping will be the hacking of US secrets.

That's rich!  The hacker-in-chief all concerned because somebody may be reading his stuff.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:57 | 3633004 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Dear NSA,

I used a plumber a couple of years ago. He was good, but I can't remember his name and don't have his number. Can you please send me an email with the info?

Oh, and if you know what I did with my car keys this morning, just include it with the plumber info.

Thanks,

DB

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:27 | 3633088 koaj
koaj's picture

+100

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 12:20 | 3634024 Wannabee
Wannabee's picture

Careful, NSA likely to send a pic of the plumber's butt crack when he was looking under the sink...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:58 | 3633008 stant
stant's picture

james and jane bondage. with a better pension plan than you

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 07:59 | 3633010 arby63
arby63's picture

Short of "the man" with gun and salary we pay..........this would be a joke. Given human nature, however, it's not so funny.

We all know that sooner or later all this snooping is going to lead to very bad things--and then THAT will be justified somehow.

Hey NSA, READ THIS: Soon enough your geek asses will be in serious trouble. Mark my words.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:04 | 3633017 machineh
machineh's picture

What did the original Stasi system lead to?

Armed border guards, shooting citizens who tried to escape.

Oh, and a worthless currency, so escapees had to beg for real money on the other side of the wall.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:03 | 3633016 bullet
bullet's picture

Have no fear... thats Biden at the controls...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:06 | 3633026 Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

So many monitors so little time. Perhaps the algos will do as well to manipulate this market as they do the other. Opt out? Or dissemble, obuscate and beat the devil.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:14 | 3633050 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone

 

W. H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:14 | 3633052 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

From now on, I'm going to take a picture of my dumps and text it to friends with the text "bomb is ready to be unleashed upon the city".  Have fun to the person that has to review that one

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:15 | 3633054 Ribeye
Ribeye's picture

"Wanna know how I got these scars?"

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:24 | 3633081 bobert727
bobert727's picture

Caption for photo......."2013-A Man and His Porn"

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:32 | 3633111 grekko
grekko's picture

i  thougt it was the SEC.              e

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:26 | 3633086 MichiganMilitiaMan
MichiganMilitiaMan's picture

Does that guy have on a bow tie?

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:31 | 3633105 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

What is funny is these fuckers couldn't find a chechen terrorist in boston after being hand delivered to them by the russkies. In the name of security. Fuck You NSA

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 11:31 | 3633796 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

...assuming they wanted to

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:32 | 3633108 Sixdeuce062
Sixdeuce062's picture

MOAR spy cameras btw as a spy camera installer most humans cant monitor moar than 9 camera screen s at one time but thats what sky net is for WE ARE WATCHING YOUb

 

btw zip up your fly quit trolling for queers cuz thats rascist

 

 

 

 

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:33 | 3633110 pods
pods's picture

A rainy day in camp FEMA today.  Here I thought I was gonna be black bagged and disappear forever. (not really, I ain't that important)

But they have come up with a waaaaay better plan than that.  Why not just make the camp the whole USA?

Then people will still keep servicing debt for our benevolent masters.  Brilliant!

I have always run under the assumption that everything I do online is somehow tracked or monitored.  Too juicy for them to let slip by.

Guess I am correct?

Local talk radio was agast that Lando couldn't answer whether Congress was being monitored. Oh the outrage.

That is the problem right there. Thinking that the scum in DC is somehow above me.

Fuck em.  All.

pods

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:09 | 3633270 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Fuck 'em all!!!

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:35 | 3633378 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

FUCK em. ALL

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:52 | 3633441 pods
pods's picture

I miss LongSoupLine, he had such eloquent verbiage on issues like this.

pods

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:36 | 3633122 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I believe that's the room Batman uses to dial into corporate earnings calls.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 08:51 | 3633184 savagegoose
savagegoose's picture

thwy record everything,  they will just look up the data when you come to their attention.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:00 | 3633225 docj
docj's picture

Frankly, I'd feel a tiny bit better if someone with a conscience - such as the Lucius Fox character - were manning those monitors. Instead we have anonymous, unaccountable GS-5's (or lower), hopped-up on Red Bull.

Fascism - it's what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:12 | 3633281 dime2962
dime2962's picture

Now you see the only reason for the "privacy" uproar over Glass. M

manuactured outrage to press the company for a live link

 

no wonder they dont want you watching porn on there, you are an agent of the NSA not the SEC.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:34 | 3633365 Judge Crater
Judge Crater's picture

Imagine the potential for blackmail the NSA has with all the information it gathers.  I just saw Candy Crowley on CNN Newsroom saying the question is how many civil rights are we willing to give up for security.  NSA must have the goods on Crowley for her to say that.  Ben Franklin said it best: "Those Who Sacrifice Liberty For Security Deserve Neither."  What security did Crowley mean, like that at the Boston Marathon bombing, where Craft mercenaries on the government payroll acted at the finish line like they were the Tsarnaev brothers' handlers.  Or how the Boston police department ignored Tamerlan Tsarnaev, the prime suspect in a triple murder on 11 September 2011.  Even as incompetent and corrupt as the Boston PD is, the only way Tamerlan avoided getting picked up is if the Feds told the Boston cops to lay off Tamerlan.  The families of the three murder victims all fingered Tamerlan as a suspect in the killings. One person who could have provided information on the FBI role in protecting Tamerlan was the guy in Orlando, Florida who allegedly lunged at an FBI agent during questioning in a motel room.  Try lunging at anyone with a crippled knee like that guy had.  

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:36 | 3633387 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

... and the FBI guy came down to Orlando from Boston...

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:35 | 3633379 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Hey, these fuckers get called up twice by the Russian FSB and told that the USA has a Chechen immigrant who has become a radical Muslim and IS a terror threat. We pay these fucking wankers to protect us and the ONLY secret service who gives a fuck about our safety is in Moscow?

Why are not heads rolling over this in the Washington whore house known as the National Security Complex?  Overpaid, fat, lazy government fuckwads. WHY do we pay them. Maybe we could just contract out to Russian FSB for security. At least Russia is fighting Al-Qaeda, not funding them like the USA.

This NSA bullshit is all about keeping the average American in line and afraid of speaking out. It has Nothing to do with protecting us from terror. After all, is not the US government now officially a funder and armer of Al-Qaeda and Sunni Jihadists world wide? Look into it! You will not like what you find!

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:50 | 3633438 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

Maybe you should offer the Russians a swap? Though I doubt they'd go for it when the see the size of the payroll. 

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 10:36 | 3633610 Boiling Frogs
Boiling Frogs's picture

Is it odd that I find myself agreeing more with the Russians/Putin positions on many issues than with my own fascist government?

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 12:26 | 3634052 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

I am with you Boiling Frogs. I spent years armed and loaded waiting to blast all hell out of the USSR. Time passes and the world changes and I do not recognize America anymore. Instead, the new Russia stands up and becomes a reasonable world actor compared to the insane USA neo-con war mongers.

Sure people blast Russia for defeating Georgia a few years back. Well look into that war of extermination launched by NATO using the Georgian military a proxy and dupe. Ossetia will never knuckle under to Georgia and Putin protects their freedom. Just one example. Russia tanks arrived in the middle of ethnic cleansing and murder, they saved the locals and kicked NATO's puppet army back home where they belonged. NATO was fishing to see how far they could go in their wars. Putin finally woke up and drew the line. Hopefully he keeps the line intact as NATO and it's Al-Qaeda terror army trys to kill half of Syria and conquer the other half so NATO can build airfields for the push on to IRAN.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:41 | 3633406 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

NSA HdQrtrs Birdseye - 2008

We can see you too...bitchez.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 13:29 | 3634393 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

This isn't a 'campus'.  It's a 'Camp-US'!  How do ppl reconcile their conscience, by working for these ppl?

Are we supposed to love them and their kind also, when we're supposed to be Patriots?

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 09:47 | 3633424 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

What we ought to do is come up with a popular-culture substitution table for that 1000 keyword list. So 'bomb' becomes 'i-phone', 'weapons cache' becomes 'jersey shore', 'Congressman' becomes 'Kardashian' (though both are whores, so maybe not abstract enough)... and so on. Then post it all over the 'net. The wankers at NSA would have no choice but to monitor all the euphemisms, too, which ought to cause them some problems.

See how easy it is to screw with you, spy-guys? The only way you can be effective in preventing dissent over the global communications network is to shut the bugger down, which would put you all out of a job. Oh, and crash the world's economy, though that would probably be a positive thing, at this stage.

Here's an idea for ya! If you want to make the world a better place, how about you actually go after the boardroom bandits, media manipulators and political whores! You know, the ones that are determined to maintain their self-enriching status quo - even if it means brutalising and starving the entire world to do it? That sound like more fun? Go on! I'll buy you a pint when you're done.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 10:02 | 3633477 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

I don't dislike police officers, but at some point they have to realize they are being sent after pickpockets while Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves rob the entire world blind.

White collar crime is the status quo.  Police are completely unequipped (esp. mentally) to deal with it.  Its sad.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 10:07 | 3633496 wizardofOZ
Fri, 06/07/2013 - 10:50 | 3633654 KickIce
KickIce's picture

And in the bottom right hand corner...

Search Criteria:  Zero Hedge Reader and/or Veteren and/or Christian and/or Tea Party and the list goes on.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 11:09 | 3633720 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Well, this was reassuring:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6fnfVJzZT4

 

Guy is just another pos politician who will say whatever sounds good.

 

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 12:04 | 3633936 Lmo Mutton
Lmo Mutton's picture

Now u gone am dunnit,

 

u sed pressure cooker.

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 12:16 | 3634002 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

So if you're wearing google glass while playing the xbox dOne (with your friendly Kinect 2 sensor) then who is watching who?

Fri, 06/07/2013 - 13:04 | 3634241 holgerdanske
holgerdanske's picture

You need a shave! Otherwise good picture. :-)

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