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FaceBook Changes "Privacy" Features Once More

Tyler Durden's picture




 

and for anyone unsure - because the lines between reality and surreality are ever-blurring - this is humor (h/t @JoshZumbrun).

* * *

What isn't, however, humor is the following updated statement from the company, just released:

  • FACEBOOK: DON'T WORK DIRECTLY W/NSA TO PROACTIVELY GIVE DATA
  • FACEBOOK: CO. GIVES MINIMUM AMOUNT OF INFO FROM GOVT. REQUESTS

Odd, because a few days ago, Zuckerberg said this:

  • Zuckerberg: "Facebook is not and has never been part of any program to give the US or any other government direct access to our servers."

And unless we are very wrong, there is a bit of a difference between "never been part of any NSA program" and "not proactively giving data to the NSA." ... So, only unproactively?

 

 

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Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:33 | 3647056 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

Fuck you NSA!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:36 | 3647068 koaj
koaj's picture

I would upvote you but that would ensure my early arrival at re education camp.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:42 | 3647104 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

FFF: Fuck Face Fuck!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:48 | 3647141 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Ah, The 3 F Rule .....

 

If it Floats, Flies or Fucks ..... Rent It !

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:51 | 3647156 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

FACEBOOK: DON'T WORK DIRECTLY W/NSA TO PROACTIVELY GIVE DATA; HOWEVER WE WILL WORK DIRECTLY W/NSA IN A REACTIVE MEASURE WHEN TOLD TO DO SO.  HAPPY POSTING BITCHEZ!!!!!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:00 | 3647181 Obchelli
Obchelli's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNiie_zmSr8

The Alan Parsons Project- Eye in the Sky

 

Timeless:

"...That's how it goes 

Cause part of me knows what you're thinkin' 

Don't say words you're gonna regret 

Don't let the fire rush to your head ..."

 

"...I am the eye in the sky

Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don't need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind, I can read your mind

..."

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:12 | 3647258 quintago
quintago's picture

Yeah, after this revelation I think the face recognition feature makes me more comfortable. I don't even have fB but I've told everyone I know not to keep me off that shit.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:44 | 3647407 MillionDollarBogus_
MillionDollarBogus_'s picture

"...Baltimore Gas & Electric (BGE, now Constellation Energy) provided NSA with 65 to 75 megawatt-hours at Ft. Meade in 2007, and expected that an increase of 10 to 15 megawatt-hours would be needed later that year. In 2011, NSA at Ft. Meade was Maryland's largest consumer of power. In 2007, as BGE's largest customer, NSA bought as much electricity as Annapolis, the capital city of Maryland..."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Security_Agency

Would be interesting to know how much NSA's electricity usage spiked upward, after the Guardian released the Snowden story.  Their data center server hard drives must be working overtime........ 

 

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:12 | 3647789 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

Didn't know that MDB had it in him (adding something useful to a conversation). Or am I thinking of someone else?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:16 | 3647804 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

I know most here believe the end comes with collapse and/or war (as do I) but at least call your CONgressman and senators to voice your disapproval. Any resistance may buy us a little more time to prepare. I called two today and got someone within 5 minutes. That's just sad. Jam those lines and mock the NSA while you're waiting.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:30 | 3647867 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

The Onion and reality in the USA continue their convergence...

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:17 | 3647813 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

You're thinking of milliondollarbonus.

That being said, he/she posts in a satire voice of someone through the status quo so his posts are one of my favorites whenever I I get a chance to read.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:18 | 3647818 ALANBEEKMAN
ALANBEEKMAN's picture

No, his handle should be 'Million Down Votes'

/8O)

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 07:48 | 3649524 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Million Dollar Bogus_ != Million Dollar Bonus

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:30 | 3647868 koan
koan's picture

And a few groups are spamming trigger words/phrases and other tells throughout the phone system and internet in an effort to saturate.

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 07:46 | 3649518 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"It's almost a feeling you can touch in the air.

You look all around you but nobody's there.

It's been a long time since you've been aware

That someone is watching you (He's gonna get you!)"

--  Alan Parsons, "I, Robot" album

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:18 | 3647819 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

funny how people think these companies are "giving" all their data to nsa; seems no one mentions their ability to simply record everything...sick and twisted.

sure they give out data, but the .gov just pipes it all through them first.

fuck those piece of shit dirt-bag motherfuckers; hfhujemnuismsmenhhh <CARRIER LOST>

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 06:27 | 3649417 Pseudonymous
Pseudonymous's picture

Let's clear this up.

And unless we are very wrong, there is a bit of a difference between "never been part of any NSA program" and "not proactively giving data to the NSA." ... So, only unproactively?

Yes, "reactively"... to a secret order or a directive, which might well encompass all current and, heck, even future data (if not, they could simply reissue an order every day). The US government has simply brought in an indefinite indictment against the world.

But the more important difference between these two quotes:

Zuckerberg: "Facebook is not and has never been part of any program to give the US or any other government direct access to our servers."

and

FACEBOOK: DON'T WORK DIRECTLY W/NSA TO PROACTIVELY GIVE DATA

is the one between "to give the US or any other government" and "DON'T WORK DIRECTLY W/NSA". In fact, the first statement contradicts the whole leaked story, while the second, official one, I would argue, carefully maneuvers around the important details, but tacitly admits that the story is true.

Indeed, the original Washington Post article (an earlier version of which is also quoted in the article here on ZH) states:

In exchange for immunity from lawsuits, companies such as Yahoo and AOL are obliged to accept a “directive” from the attorney general and the director of national intelligence to open their servers to the FBI’s Data Intercept Technology Unit, which handles liaison to U.S. companies from the NSA.

So Facebook could more candidly say something like this:

"FACEBOOK WORKS WITH THE FBI TO GIVE ANY DATA THEY REQUEST, ALTHOUGH THEY DON'T ALLOW US TO DISCLOSE WHETHER OR NOT THAT MEANS ALL OUR DATA"

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:52 | 3647160 glenlloyd
glenlloyd's picture

Does anyone even use face plant anymore?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:55 | 3647170 LostAtSea
LostAtSea's picture

Yes, and everyone should use a false facebook account full of fictional wild tales of life. Lead the fuckers through a maze of empty dead ends.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:57 | 3647178 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

who knew Rockwell was so ahead of his time? - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YvAYIJSSZY

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 22:23 | 3648892 Renegade Though...
Renegade Thought Crimes's picture

At first I thought you were referring to Lew Rockwell. Oh well.

But, spin back to 1982 and you have "Electric Eye" by Judas Priest:

You think you've private lives
Think nothing of the kind.
There is no true escape
I'm watching all the time.

Etc. etc.

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:00 | 3647203 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

I was at a social gathering last year.  Buffet type event.  I am seated next to this person for dinner and we strike up conversation.  They told me they were an investigator and had access to the back end of Facebook.  Didn't matter what privacy setting you had, they could connect and see all of your stuff.  This person told me not to post too much info on the site which I don't anyway.  At the time I was thinking that this person is embellishing their job.  Not anymore.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:11 | 3647256 Sid James
Sid James's picture

Did his lapel badge say Zuckerberg?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:11 | 3647778 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

i've never been on facebook, can't imagine why any sane human would.  get rid of your cell, your credit card...let them work to find you.  

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:34 | 3647880 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

No cell fone or credit cards [since 2006]... No Facebook, ever...

~~~

I'm sure they... Or even half the 'Satoshi' sychophants on this blog could still pin me down with not much effort, but I don't give a flying fuck...

I figure...

Yeah ~ I'll be serving fries to your kids on the way to their ski trips... But at least I won't be unoriginal...

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:12 | 3647512 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

@ LostAtSea

 

Inciteful suggestion.

 

Berkeley Breathed approved profile:

 

Weight: 36lbs.
Height: 2'11".
Pants size: I don't wear any pants.
Sexual Preference: Svelte buoyant water fowl.

 

(not a link to fb)

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:41 | 3647891 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

I miss Opus so much.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:19 | 3647826 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

about a third of their users are fake.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:24 | 3647842 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

... Never Directly.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:58 | 3647184 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Of course, Suckerberg isn't saying anything about "indirect" access to FB's servers now is he.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:14 | 3647268 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

Just deleted my facebook account....feels weird not having the account eventhough i rarely used it

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:40 | 3647387 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

You're a better man than me, Groundhog!

I couldn't do it.  I COULDN'T DO IT.  Wrote "F-U" in the field that said 'Why Leaving' and everything... and I coudn't bring myself to do it.  I am a wet noodle.  Looking for a pep-talk!!!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:58 | 3647471 BoNeSxxx
BoNeSxxx's picture

Go for the mini delete and just remove the actual photos of yourself and any actual personal data... I am in the same camp. I want to delete but it's great for keeping tabs on my offspring.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:12 | 3647534 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

 

it's great for keeping tabs on my offspring.

 

The NSA agrees.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:39 | 3647887 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Hey Crockett!... I UPVOTED YOU!... This calls for a musical celebration!...

~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdIpoE2LEps

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 18:20 | 3648039 BoNeSxxx
BoNeSxxx's picture

Yea I saw that one coming and almost threw the edit in there myself.

+1 from Bones too.

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 07:55 | 3649538 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

On Topic... "Fingerprint File"

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:10 | 3647775 I did it by Occident
I did it by Occident's picture

you do know that they never are actually deleted, FB will always have them in their giant archive.   But on another note, go ahead have an FB account, just don't post much of anything on it.  Or just post nonsense like everyone else does.  Hell, just keep it for appearances.  Pretty soon they'll be looking askance at anyone without a FB account asking you why you "aren't with the program yet?"

 

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 19:41 | 3648378 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

That information once it's up there is never going away.   Well, short of a large EMP burst over geographically disbursed data centers and that one place in Utah that is archiving everything.

(now there's an idea) 

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:43 | 3647897 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

.

Looking for a pep-talk!!!

Several years ago, I removed everyone from my "Friends" list that I didn't talk to on a regular basis -- which was all but ~30 people.

Soon thereafter, I realized I already talk to everyone on my list in real life and didn't "need" F_B anymore. Easy as pie.

MySpace was a lot easier for me because I got censored off of it right after Murdoch bought them circa '05. x_X

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:25 | 3647848 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

do you think your posts on ZH are not reviewed??

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 04:42 | 3649351 Bringin It
Bringin It's picture

Re. fB acount deleted - Nice, but know that it never really goes away.

In fact, most likely, it will continue to get embelished behind the scenes [that is the scene visible to you] by others via inference.

Still, better to cut them off asap.

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:18 | 3647281 bonzo112358
bonzo112358's picture

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csas5rAa0J0

A nice glass of warm milk, a little nap and a total frontal lobotomy will re-educate you.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:30 | 3647865 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Your reservation is already made, regardless of a up arrow or down arrow.  besides, its the least you could do considering the patriotism Snowden showed.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 19:20 | 3648312 btb2010
btb2010's picture

PDF USArmy-InternmentResettlement.pdf      3,681KB

 

MILITARY POLICE SUPPORT TO RESETTLEMENT OPERATIONS 10-40. Resettlement operations typically include controlling civilian movement and providing relief to human suffering. These operations may be performed as domestic civil support operations (due to natural or man-made disasters), stability operations (due to noncombatant evacuation operations, humanitarian- assistance operations), or DC operations (due to combat operations). The authority to approve resettlement such operations within U.S. territories is at the Secretary of Defense level and may require a special exception to Title 18, USC (Posse Comitatus Act). The Posse Comitatus Act prohibits the U.S. military from enforcing civilian laws within the United States or its territories without specific authorization. The U.S. Constitution and other federal, state, and local laws may directly and significantly affect operations in the U.S. and its territories if the enforcement of civilian laws are required according to Title 10, USC. U.S. military forces conducting law enforcement functions in such cases require an authorization through a congressional act (for example, Title 10 USC, Sections 331 through 334 [Insurrection Statues]) or a constitutional authorization (for example the President invoking his executive authority under Article 2 of the Constitution). U.S. Army National Guard Soldiers operating in a nonfederal status are not restricted by the Posse Comitatus Act. (See Title 32, USC, and JP 3-28.)

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 20:20 | 3648519 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

hi-diddly-ho neighbor! too late for you

http://simpsonitos.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/reneducation.jpg

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:37 | 3647072 prains
prains's picture

you know its gone plum loco when you have to preface all your jokes now

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:55 | 3647169 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

A "tongue-in-cheek" emoticon would be appropriate these days.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:51 | 3647153 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

yeah, nice statement Mr. Z... truthful but not the whole truth so it's terribly misleading.

Facebook was CREATED with the government for the governments use.  They're not participating in a program... it IS the program.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:04 | 3647219 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Your complaint is logged and duly noted citizen.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:54 | 3647449 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Why does IE keep bombing out when viewing ZH pages?  I've got 3 computers I use to come here and every damned one of them is bombing out randomly on ZH pages.  Not all the time.  Just enough to be REALLY annoying.  On the main page, in the articles, posting a reply- doesn't seem to matter.  Just random "IE has encountered a problem and needs to close"

Been happening the last month or so.  It can't just be me (can it?).

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:25 | 3647847 Henry Hub
Henry Hub's picture

It's an NSA bug. They'll have it fixed shortly.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:26 | 3647852 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

2013.
Still using IE.

C'mon man, upgrade to Firefox. Much more secure, and much more privacy friendly.

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 14:28 | 3650897 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

Or try Pale Moon browser, the optimized Firefox for WinOS at www.palemoon.org and SRWare Iron: "the browser of the future - based on the free Sourcecode "Chromium" - without any problems at privacy and security" http://www.srware.net/en/software_srware_iron.php

you may find the portable versions (NO install needed) of the many browsers as well!  Look at portableapps.com or portableappz blogspot...

 

MSIE is a legacy of the past :-D

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:28 | 3647861 Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture

Agree with Blue. The whole problem is that you're using Internet Exploder.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 19:56 | 3648434 Matt
Matt's picture

Have you considered not using IE? At the very least, having a second browser as a backup is probably a good idea.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 20:19 | 3648516 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

why the hell are you using IE which lets in backdoors galore instead of firefox?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 23:38 | 3649114 KnightTakesKing
KnightTakesKing's picture

Are you nuts? Safari, Firefox or Chrome. You won't miss Internet Exploder. 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:42 | 3647400 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

So, just to be clear. We are not friends, right?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:36 | 3647066 PSEUDOLOGOI
PSEUDOLOGOI's picture

Ooops... Someone commented out the line of code that suppressed " and the NSA" text on the public facing website?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:36 | 3647067 No Euros please...
No Euros please we&#039;re British's picture

Fuck you Facebook!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:37 | 3647074 knukles
knukles's picture

What is this Facebook thing everybody keeps referring to?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:48 | 3647138 BlackChicken
BlackChicken's picture

Silly...

It is a magical place where one goes to share every conceivable detail of the human experience with lots of strangers that we call friends. You win the game of Facebook by having the most of these friends.

It is also a place where our information is given for free to a higher power to keep us 100% safe, all of the time; this is the payment made to compensate for the wonderful experience.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:29 | 3647334 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

what about Xing, Linkedin, ASW etc? Similar thing I assume.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:58 | 3647470 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

fucking linkedin

dammit

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:09 | 3647207 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I suggest you ask Cartman....he knows everything.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQIIT6cfr5s

 

and for your full viewing pleasure:

 

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s14e04-you-have-0-friends

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:47 | 3647135 Renewable Life
Renewable Life's picture

Seriously, If your on fucking facebook, you want to be spy'd on, read the GD fine print and corporate quarterly report on that company, and explain to me how they make money, WITHOUT selling, mining, spying and invading its users privacy!

Get fucking real!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:36 | 3647070 longwind
longwind's picture

+1 only NSA, Stasi, KGB, M5 and my mother. Kids don't need to know everything!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:37 | 3647071 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

the only people I know who actively use facebook are gigantic liberal establishment dong sucking douches who can't yell loud enough how great this country is while begging for more protection.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:38 | 3647083 knukles
knukles's picture

Come to think of it, if they're older than 40, that kinda fits....

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:39 | 3647084 prains
prains's picture

well actually its used more by 14 yr old kids so why the NSA needs to know what hormone laced teenagers are up to is still a mystery

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:35 | 3647368 machineh
machineh's picture

Some of them take dirty pictures, so it helps keep the Gulag full.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:29 | 3647596 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

No mystery at all: It helps to determine which puerile activities are to be made retroactively illegal 4 years from now; once the kids can be tried as adults.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:53 | 3647164 IdiocracyIsAlre...
IdiocracyIsAlreadyHere's picture

From your reply you sound like the typical Facebook user.  Childish name calling and of course firm belief in the false Left/Right narrative.  How many likes did you get?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:05 | 3647221 JohnG
JohnG's picture

 

 

That's no way to talk about my wife, her children, my son, ect !

I'll get you :)

 

And fuck off NSA!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:38 | 3647075 replaceme
replaceme's picture

On a postitve note, my android  phone now seems 10x smarter than Apple's Suri.  I just pick it up and talk now - Android? Where are my keys?  By the coffee pot, Replace... Thanks, Android.   Who was I going to call, Android?  It's your dad's birthday, I've already sent a card.  You're welcome.

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:40 | 3647090 knukles
knukles's picture

I've got one of them really old hemorrhoid phones.  It don't do nuthin' but sit there, connected to the wall ....

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:37 | 3647076 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Fuck Obama

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:40 | 3647093 prains
prains's picture

It's the people who sign his (real) cheque that need your derision

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:38 | 3647078 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

I enjoy 100% privacy with respect to Facebook by having nothing to do with it.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:38 | 3647079 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

I'd be surprised if anyone on facebook would give a shit.  They're broadcasting all their info anyway.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:43 | 3647109 knukles
knukles's picture

Dat be da Troof!
But a bunch of them I know still get upsets about it, like "Well I didn't friend Obie or Mooch!" so they shouldn't be reading my...
You get the picture.

Plus, most of the uber-liberals I know think it's OK

Just you hypocritical fuckers wait until a Republican is back in power and you'll be screaming bloody murder... over the exact same thing...
So may people have no concept of principles before personalities

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:39 | 3647086 irie1029
irie1029's picture

ROFLMAO

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:39 | 3647087 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I forget who created farcebook...the CIA, the NSA, or some dorky kid in college?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:32 | 3647355 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

In-Q-Tel

CIA's vulture capitalist branch

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:39 | 3647089 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

This is how you can download a facebook profile. If you wanted, for example, to delete your profile. Download your whole profile history first.
Then delete.

Its pretty simple, Download your profile, it takes 10 minutes, then sends a link by email. Click the link, save a zip file with full directories, including photos; then you can delete your FB profile.

Note Delete and Inactivate are 2 different things

http://m.facebook.com/help/131112897028467/

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:43 | 3647110 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Once on the Internet, always on the Internet.  The delete button does the same thing as the "close door" elevator button - makes you feel better while actually doing fuckall.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:51 | 3647146 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

10 minutes to download a profile?  Jeeze, NSA downloads and indexes the whole damn site in much less time than that.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:55 | 3647455 BlackChicken
BlackChicken's picture

Sure they do; they have the best gear our grandchildren can buy.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:40 | 3647091 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

The people that are Insider trading with classified infomation is classified.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:40 | 3647092 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Well at least the NSA could make themselves fucking useful and order their pizza during the drive time.

Go fuck yourself federal big brother, you're not responsible for me beyond those duties assigned by the Constitution.  An you can't even do that with any credibility, such as coining our own currency.  GFY you cunts!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:40 | 3647095 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

I'd like to modestly encroach my foot up someone's ass.

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:44 | 3647114 Satan
Satan's picture

So just the big toe then?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:48 | 3647908 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

It always starts with the camel's nose.  Eventually the he's standing in the tent with you.

Can we ever say camel now without tripping the computers?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:41 | 3647101 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Facebook was invented by the NSA!  Duh.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:42 | 3647103 dariomilano
dariomilano's picture

superLOL  BANANA republic style!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:46 | 3647122 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

FACE FUCKBOOK!!!!!!

i did that on purpose....

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:45 | 3647123 Rick Blaine
Rick Blaine's picture

LOL

Beauty, eh.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:47 | 3647137 DutchR
Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:00 | 3647201 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

The ZH servers have gone on vacation to Varna...party time.....

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:56 | 3647175 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

FB privacy policy should read as follows: You have none.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:58 | 3647185 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

people are smart

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:00 | 3647199 q99x2
q99x2's picture

You would have to be crazy to use social media after the NSA which is no longer a United States organization is found to save everyhing written, or mentioned or even spoken until such time that it needs to disappear you.

Ya Let me be the first to sign up for that service.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:01 | 3647204 Shevva
Shevva's picture

If the NSA does all the work, ie simply logon to the srevers and download the info. think wayback machine.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:01 | 3647205 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

I noticed that the NSA is a default member of my "Friends" list.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:01 | 3647208 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

< I had a FB account once but now regret it

< I never had a FB account because told you so

 

 

I'm hoping I get junked to hell, I really do.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:10 | 3647249 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

microsoft is worse. they can and do hack any computer with their software installed.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:40 | 3647389 seek
seek's picture

This is sadly true. I've actually watched MS PCs that are set to "do not automatic update" download and install updates.

The only way to keep your computer secure is to have it offline. I have a dedicated "cold" PC with network card removed for this very purpose.

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 20:07 | 3648470 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

http://www.linuxmint.com/release.php?id=18

Editions for Linux Mint 13 "Maya"

easy to use: KDE (64-bit)

smaller memory footprint, faster to run: Xfce (64-bit)

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 01:38 | 3649260 seek
seek's picture

I've been running slackware as my primary OS for over 10 years. (As it happens XFCE is my prefered WM)

Unfortunately I sometimes have to maintain Windows for others.

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 23:50 | 3653005 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

yes, I feel your pain. One of my upcoming projects is to get a USB-bootable puppy-linux so my mother who insists windows xp is the safest and best thing ever yet can't get things to really run anymore due to all the virus scanners she needs to run to stop herself from running every virus possible... ah, you get the deal. She won't like it because "it looks different" but it will run. What she's left with isn't running much at all anymore.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:40 | 3647884 Henry Hub
Henry Hub's picture

***microsoft is worse***

This the real elephant in the room. The NSA through Micro$oft very probably has back door rootkits installed that they have complete access to in every computer with a Micro$oft operating system.

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 05:01 | 3649363 Bringin It
Bringin It's picture

Yes and No.

Yes - MS OS is not secure.

No - There are bigger elephants hiding in the room.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:35 | 3647607 trader1
trader1's picture

i use facebook to spread "propaganda" to a bunch of american friends...

sorry!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 20:05 | 3648461 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

you'll find soon enough you'll hit a filter ratio and your posts will be stopped first by a captcha with a warning then full-stop.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:10 | 3647251 koaj
koaj's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jv__AsyX_nU

 

man calls NSA looking for lost gmail password

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:16 | 3647275 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

quote: ...they can't help me get my g-mail password apparently so they really are fucking useless.

LMAO!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:18 | 3647279 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    Boy those statements make me feel all warm and fuzzy. I can't wait until Zukerturd offers me a free day at the spa(showers) for signing up with "Face Plant". I guess having a NSA fiber trunk attached to "Face Plant" servers isn't working out too well with their business model.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:22 | 3647310 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

zuck will buy fb back for about three fiddy some day. again, people are smart.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:44 | 3647899 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    This is for you buzz.

  3 fiddy - YouTube

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:20 | 3647291 tuttisaluti
tuttisaluti's picture

Can we have our cloud storage bei the NSA. How much per year? How many gb are included?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:21 | 3647292 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

If the NSA takes the info before it ever hits Facebook's servers then they are not letting the NSA access their servers. The fact that they take the data before hand means facebook does not have to be proactive, because basically it is out of their hands. Zuck doesn't own the internet lines. What info Facebook gives up allows them to match the facebook posts with the User info. Since most people are open with their identiies on Facebook then it would only be the ones misrepresenting their identities that should actually have an issue with facebook, and if it's fake then whats the deal anyways?

 

The problem is the NSA accessing all the data before it even makes it way to the Facebook servers. So don't blame Zuck even though I hate Facebook with a passion.

FYI-I am just assuming that this is how it all works.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:02 | 3647491 Jim B
Jim B's picture

Zuck is just an an Obama Butt boy anyway!

Obama and Facebook in Warm Embrace

http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/04/21/obama-and-facebook-in-warm-embr...

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:23 | 3647311 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

there is a reason why i closed my facebook acount and got rid of my smart phone for a dumb one on prepaid card !!!!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:23 | 3647313 crzyhun
crzyhun's picture

"History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Administration is always right.” GO 1984

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:24 | 3647319 max2205
max2205's picture

59Vote down!-1Fuck you NSA!replyTue, 06/11/2013 - 14:36 | 3647068new koajVote up!31Vote down!-2I would upvote you but that would ensure my early arrival at re education camp.replyTue, 06/11/2013 - 14:42 | 3647104new PladizowVote up!10Vote down!-1FFF: Fuck Face Fuck!replyTue, 06/11/2013 - 14:48 | 3647141new StackersVote up!7Vote down!-1Ah, The 3 F Rule ..... If it Floats, Flies or Fucks ..... Rent It !replyTue, 06/11/2013 - 14:51 | 3647156new Dr. Richard HeadVote up!5Vote down!0FACEBOOK: DON'T WORK DIRECTLY W/NSA TO PROACTIVELY GIVE DATA; HOWEVER WE WILL WORK DIRECTLY W/NSA IN A REACTIVE MEASURE WHEN TOLD TO DO SO.  HAPPY POSTING BITCHEZ!!!!!replyTue, 06/11/2013 - 15:00 | 3647181new ObchelliVote up!4Vote down!0http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNiie_zmSr8The Alan Parsons Project- Eye in the Sky Timeless:"...That's how it goes Cause part of me knows what you're thinkin' Don't say words you're gonna regret Don't let the fire rush to your head ..." "...I am the eye in the skyLooking at youI can read your mindI am the maker of rulesDealing with foolsI can cheat you blindAnd I don't need to see any moreTo know thatI can read your mind, I can read your mind..."replyTue, 06/11/2013 - 15:12 | 3647258new quintagoVote up!0Vote down!0Yeah, after this revelation I think the face recognition feature makes me more comfortable. I don't even have fB but I've told everyone I know not to keep me off that shit.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:55 | 3647454 The Thunder Child
The Thunder Child's picture

Dafuq did I just read?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:56 | 3647705 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Probably a feed from a Face Book page discussing these revelations.

 

Luckily algos don't feel yet, the stupid it burns.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 21:24 | 3648693 Blano
Blano's picture

Monedas on acid.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:00 | 3647483 moonman
moonman's picture

Med's time

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 18:51 | 3648188 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

#1 ensure your copy/paste buffer is reading from a file/program that actually uses the right carriage-return/line-feed needed for the text-box for a reply

#2 don't merge all the reading-list you've got of replies into one file and then paste it, thanks.

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:32 | 3647352 rustymason
rustymason's picture

It is a waste of time to parse the words of liars.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:53 | 3647423 Duke Dog
Duke Dog's picture

Exactly! I was at the gym a few minutes ago and saw one of the Faux bitches asking one idiot about Clapper's lies to Congress and they were talking about Carney, Obama, and Clapper. I immediately thought, why would anyone give one fvck about what one liar said about what another liar said about a third liar's statements - total waste of time for anyone that truly gives a shit, but it makes for a good circus.

Then, I quickly flipped over to Judge Judy to follow where most of the student loan money is going - ie.. cell phones, bail bonds, used car downpayments, drugs etc...

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:37 | 3647377 imbrbing
imbrbing's picture

Not once have I heard from these companies, "we never give data under any circumstances as it viloates the constitution".

We hear twisted plays on words like we wont catch on.

     We don't "proactivly give it", (why if re-activly is working just fine)

     They do not "hack in" to get it. (they dont have to, they have indirect free access)

     They don't have "direct access" (what about indirect access? I dont have to have "direct access" to your PC to get the data off it.)

NONE of which denies ever giving the data over. They really think we are that dumb. Well I have to admint though, if the

american people in gerneral are that dumb, we deserve to have microphones and cameras up our asses.

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:55 | 3647452 robnume
robnume's picture

FUCKERBERG is a lying POS. I have NEVER used social media nor did I see that movie which, I hear, lionizes this guy. He's a known right wing nut who hangs with John McCain and god knows who the hell else. Next thing you know he'll be arguing aver what the definition of "is" is.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:11 | 3647499 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Odd, because a few days ago, Zuckerberg said this

I'm guessing between then and now, Zuckerboy was reminded that the NSA is watching him too. Lucky for him, ,(and so unlike for Mr. Snowdon), they're happy to forgive and correct Mark's mistakes....for now.

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:07 | 3647516 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Direct Access to Servers = Sex

I never had "Direct Access to Servers" with that [ ...]

GIVES MINIMUM AMOUNT OF INFO FROM GOVT. REQUESTS = Bl-w job 

( Translation : I only got a MINIMUM AMOUNT OF INFO FROM [ ...])

 

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:21 | 3647524 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

"Good prose (doublethink?) is like a window pane",...when the window (sucker`burgler) glaze're, knows when to mull(ion) hypocrisy with a faceless edifice'd-efface, using but a 'capricious, red queen's twist'd kaleidoscope'"    

a, 'Famous Orwellian Coda'

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:11 | 3647530 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

FUCKERBERG

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:58 | 3647717 resurger
resurger's picture

Fuck berg

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:01 | 3647730 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

facebook and google are probably seeded by NSA.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:04 | 3647748 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

I've been telling people this for years... 

DO NOT USE FACEBOOK!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:07 | 3647760 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Face Palm.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:33 | 3647879 Montecarlo
Montecarlo's picture

SO... it's not the STOCK. It's the FLOW stupid. Translated means you don't need access to a server when the router simply replicates the traffic flowing across. Why negotiate with thousands of companies when you just have to corrupt one?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:42 | 3647894 steelrules
steelrules's picture

Worth watching again especially now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCmk7lBJB3M

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:51 | 3647920 Dead Canary
Dead Canary's picture

Yea baby! Just deleted my Face Plant fucking account.

FIGHT THE POWER.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:53 | 3647929 Buttertooth
Buttertooth's picture

oh no your mean the shit I post on facebook is being viewed by other people

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:57 | 3647941 Buttertooth
Buttertooth's picture

99 percent of you have nothing they would be interested in.  this site has gone full retard exclamation point as i cant use any punctuation feel free to nitpick pussies

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!