FaceBook Changes "Privacy" Features Once More

Tyler Durden's picture


and for anyone unsure - because the lines between reality and surreality are ever-blurring - this is humor (h/t @JoshZumbrun).

* * *

What isn't, however, humor is the following updated statement from the company, just released:


Odd, because a few days ago, Zuckerberg said this:

  • Zuckerberg: "Facebook is not and has never been part of any program to give the US or any other government direct access to our servers."

And unless we are very wrong, there is a bit of a difference between "never been part of any NSA program" and "not proactively giving data to the NSA." ... So, only unproactively?


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Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:33 | 3647056 fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

Fuck you NSA!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:36 | 3647068 koaj
koaj's picture

I would upvote you but that would ensure my early arrival at re education camp.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:42 | 3647104 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

FFF: Fuck Face Fuck!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:48 | 3647141 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Ah, The 3 F Rule .....


If it Floats, Flies or Fucks ..... Rent It !

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:51 | 3647156 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture


Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:00 | 3647181 Obchelli
Obchelli's picture


The Alan Parsons Project- Eye in the Sky



"...That's how it goes 

Cause part of me knows what you're thinkin' 

Don't say words you're gonna regret 

Don't let the fire rush to your head ..."


"...I am the eye in the sky

Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don't need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind, I can read your mind


Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:12 | 3647258 quintago
quintago's picture

Yeah, after this revelation I think the face recognition feature makes me more comfortable. I don't even have fB but I've told everyone I know not to keep me off that shit.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:44 | 3647407 MillionDollarBogus_
MillionDollarBogus_'s picture

"...Baltimore Gas & Electric (BGE, now Constellation Energy) provided NSA with 65 to 75 megawatt-hours at Ft. Meade in 2007, and expected that an increase of 10 to 15 megawatt-hours would be needed later that year. In 2011, NSA at Ft. Meade was Maryland's largest consumer of power. In 2007, as BGE's largest customer, NSA bought as much electricity as Annapolis, the capital city of Maryland..."


Would be interesting to know how much NSA's electricity usage spiked upward, after the Guardian released the Snowden story.  Their data center server hard drives must be working overtime........ 



Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:12 | 3647789 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

Didn't know that MDB had it in him (adding something useful to a conversation). Or am I thinking of someone else?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:16 | 3647804 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

I know most here believe the end comes with collapse and/or war (as do I) but at least call your CONgressman and senators to voice your disapproval. Any resistance may buy us a little more time to prepare. I called two today and got someone within 5 minutes. That's just sad. Jam those lines and mock the NSA while you're waiting.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:30 | 3647867 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

The Onion and reality in the USA continue their convergence...

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:17 | 3647813 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

You're thinking of milliondollarbonus.

That being said, he/she posts in a satire voice of someone through the status quo so his posts are one of my favorites whenever I I get a chance to read.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:18 | 3647818 ALANBEEKMAN

No, his handle should be 'Million Down Votes'


Wed, 06/12/2013 - 07:48 | 3649524 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Million Dollar Bogus_ != Million Dollar Bonus

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:30 | 3647868 koan
koan's picture

And a few groups are spamming trigger words/phrases and other tells throughout the phone system and internet in an effort to saturate.

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 07:46 | 3649518 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"It's almost a feeling you can touch in the air.

You look all around you but nobody's there.

It's been a long time since you've been aware

That someone is watching you (He's gonna get you!)"

--  Alan Parsons, "I, Robot" album

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:18 | 3647819 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

funny how people think these companies are "giving" all their data to nsa; seems no one mentions their ability to simply record everything...sick and twisted.

sure they give out data, but the .gov just pipes it all through them first.

fuck those piece of shit dirt-bag motherfuckers; hfhujemnuismsmenhhh <CARRIER LOST>

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 06:27 | 3649417 Pseudonymous
Pseudonymous's picture

Let's clear this up.

And unless we are very wrong, there is a bit of a difference between "never been part of any NSA program" and "not proactively giving data to the NSA." ... So, only unproactively?

Yes, "reactively"... to a secret order or a directive, which might well encompass all current and, heck, even future data (if not, they could simply reissue an order every day). The US government has simply brought in an indefinite indictment against the world.

But the more important difference between these two quotes:

Zuckerberg: "Facebook is not and has never been part of any program to give the US or any other government direct access to our servers."



is the one between "to give the US or any other government" and "DON'T WORK DIRECTLY W/NSA". In fact, the first statement contradicts the whole leaked story, while the second, official one, I would argue, carefully maneuvers around the important details, but tacitly admits that the story is true.

Indeed, the original Washington Post article (an earlier version of which is also quoted in the article here on ZH) states:

In exchange for immunity from lawsuits, companies such as Yahoo and AOL are obliged to accept a “directive” from the attorney general and the director of national intelligence to open their servers to the FBI’s Data Intercept Technology Unit, which handles liaison to U.S. companies from the NSA.

So Facebook could more candidly say something like this:


Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:52 | 3647160 glenlloyd
glenlloyd's picture

Does anyone even use face plant anymore?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:55 | 3647170 LostAtSea
LostAtSea's picture

Yes, and everyone should use a false facebook account full of fictional wild tales of life. Lead the fuckers through a maze of empty dead ends.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:57 | 3647178 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

who knew Rockwell was so ahead of his time? - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YvAYIJSSZY

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 22:23 | 3648892 Renegade Though...
Renegade Thought Crimes's picture

At first I thought you were referring to Lew Rockwell. Oh well.

But, spin back to 1982 and you have "Electric Eye" by Judas Priest:

You think you've private lives
Think nothing of the kind.
There is no true escape
I'm watching all the time.

Etc. etc.


Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:00 | 3647203 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

I was at a social gathering last year.  Buffet type event.  I am seated next to this person for dinner and we strike up conversation.  They told me they were an investigator and had access to the back end of Facebook.  Didn't matter what privacy setting you had, they could connect and see all of your stuff.  This person told me not to post too much info on the site which I don't anyway.  At the time I was thinking that this person is embellishing their job.  Not anymore.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:11 | 3647256 Sid James
Sid James's picture

Did his lapel badge say Zuckerberg?

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:11 | 3647778 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

i've never been on facebook, can't imagine why any sane human would.  get rid of your cell, your credit card...let them work to find you.  

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:34 | 3647880 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

No cell fone or credit cards [since 2006]... No Facebook, ever...


I'm sure they... Or even half the 'Satoshi' sychophants on this blog could still pin me down with not much effort, but I don't give a flying fuck...

I figure...

Yeah ~ I'll be serving fries to your kids on the way to their ski trips... But at least I won't be unoriginal...

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:12 | 3647512 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

@ LostAtSea


Inciteful suggestion.


Berkeley Breathed approved profile:


Weight: 36lbs.
Height: 2'11".
Pants size: I don't wear any pants.
Sexual Preference: Svelte buoyant water fowl.


(not a link to fb)

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:41 | 3647891 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

I miss Opus so much.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:19 | 3647826 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

about a third of their users are fake.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:24 | 3647842 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

... Never Directly.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:58 | 3647184 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Of course, Suckerberg isn't saying anything about "indirect" access to FB's servers now is he.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:14 | 3647268 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

Just deleted my facebook account....feels weird not having the account eventhough i rarely used it

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:40 | 3647387 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

You're a better man than me, Groundhog!

I couldn't do it.  I COULDN'T DO IT.  Wrote "F-U" in the field that said 'Why Leaving' and everything... and I coudn't bring myself to do it.  I am a wet noodle.  Looking for a pep-talk!!!

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:58 | 3647471 BoNeSxxx
BoNeSxxx's picture

Go for the mini delete and just remove the actual photos of yourself and any actual personal data... I am in the same camp. I want to delete but it's great for keeping tabs on my offspring.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:12 | 3647534 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture


it's great for keeping tabs on my offspring.


The NSA agrees.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:39 | 3647887 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Hey Crockett!... I UPVOTED YOU!... This calls for a musical celebration!...



Tue, 06/11/2013 - 18:20 | 3648039 BoNeSxxx
BoNeSxxx's picture

Yea I saw that one coming and almost threw the edit in there myself.

+1 from Bones too.

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 07:55 | 3649538 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

On Topic... "Fingerprint File"

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:10 | 3647775 I did it by Occident
I did it by Occident's picture

you do know that they never are actually deleted, FB will always have them in their giant archive.   But on another note, go ahead have an FB account, just don't post much of anything on it.  Or just post nonsense like everyone else does.  Hell, just keep it for appearances.  Pretty soon they'll be looking askance at anyone without a FB account asking you why you "aren't with the program yet?"



Tue, 06/11/2013 - 19:41 | 3648378 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

That information once it's up there is never going away.   Well, short of a large EMP burst over geographically disbursed data centers and that one place in Utah that is archiving everything.

(now there's an idea) 


Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:43 | 3647897 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture


Looking for a pep-talk!!!

Several years ago, I removed everyone from my "Friends" list that I didn't talk to on a regular basis -- which was all but ~30 people.

Soon thereafter, I realized I already talk to everyone on my list in real life and didn't "need" F_B anymore. Easy as pie.

MySpace was a lot easier for me because I got censored off of it right after Murdoch bought them circa '05. x_X

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:25 | 3647848 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

do you think your posts on ZH are not reviewed??

Wed, 06/12/2013 - 04:42 | 3649351 Bringin It
Bringin It's picture

Re. fB acount deleted - Nice, but know that it never really goes away.

In fact, most likely, it will continue to get embelished behind the scenes [that is the scene visible to you] by others via inference.

Still, better to cut them off asap.


Tue, 06/11/2013 - 15:18 | 3647281 bonzo112358
bonzo112358's picture


A nice glass of warm milk, a little nap and a total frontal lobotomy will re-educate you.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 17:30 | 3647865 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Your reservation is already made, regardless of a up arrow or down arrow.  besides, its the least you could do considering the patriotism Snowden showed.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 19:20 | 3648312 btb2010
btb2010's picture

PDF USArmy-InternmentResettlement.pdf      3,681KB


MILITARY POLICE SUPPORT TO RESETTLEMENT OPERATIONS 10-40. Resettlement operations typically include controlling civilian movement and providing relief to human suffering. These operations may be performed as domestic civil support operations (due to natural or man-made disasters), stability operations (due to noncombatant evacuation operations, humanitarian- assistance operations), or DC operations (due to combat operations). The authority to approve resettlement such operations within U.S. territories is at the Secretary of Defense level and may require a special exception to Title 18, USC (Posse Comitatus Act). The Posse Comitatus Act prohibits the U.S. military from enforcing civilian laws within the United States or its territories without specific authorization. The U.S. Constitution and other federal, state, and local laws may directly and significantly affect operations in the U.S. and its territories if the enforcement of civilian laws are required according to Title 10, USC. U.S. military forces conducting law enforcement functions in such cases require an authorization through a congressional act (for example, Title 10 USC, Sections 331 through 334 [Insurrection Statues]) or a constitutional authorization (for example the President invoking his executive authority under Article 2 of the Constitution). U.S. Army National Guard Soldiers operating in a nonfederal status are not restricted by the Posse Comitatus Act. (See Title 32, USC, and JP 3-28.)

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 20:20 | 3648519 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

hi-diddly-ho neighbor! too late for you


Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:37 | 3647072 prains
prains's picture

you know its gone plum loco when you have to preface all your jokes now

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:55 | 3647169 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

A "tongue-in-cheek" emoticon would be appropriate these days.

Tue, 06/11/2013 - 14:51 | 3647153 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

yeah, nice statement Mr. Z... truthful but not the whole truth so it's terribly misleading.

Facebook was CREATED with the government for the governments use.  They're not participating in a program... it IS the program.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!