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Japan Resorts To Teenage Girls In Short Skirts To Get Their Stocks Up

Tyler Durden's picture




 

While the full court press propaganda express in Japan's media that 'Abenomics' is working may be flagging a little in the face of the recent 20% collapse in equity prices, there appears no limit to how low they will stoop. It is not the first time you girls have been used to promote the benefits of buying Japanese bonds (as we discussed here), but, as The Telegraph reports, a four-member band of 16-year-old Japanese girls will be raising (and lowering we suppose) the length of their skirts based on the Nikkei 255. The band - Machikado Keiki Japan, which roughly translates as "street corner economic conditions", debut single - Abeno Mix (seriously!) - has karaoke references to quantitative easing and construction bonds.

 

 

 

Via The Telegraph...

To get an idea of how Japan's prime minister, Shinzo Abe, is faring in his quest to lift his country out of two decades of stagnation, look no further than the skirts of the girl group Machikado Keiki Japan.

 

The band, whose name translates roughly as "street corner economic conditions", became a bellwether for the health of the world's third biggest economy earlier this year when they promised to shorten their skirts every time the country's stock market made significant gains.

 

The four-member group's novel economic indicator has raised a few eyebrows – not least because one of the members is a 16-year-old schoolgirl – but there is no faulting their interest in the fortunes of the Nikkei 225 stock index.

 

 

Their debut single, Abeno Mix – complete with unlikely singalong references to quantitative easing and construction bonds – takes its cue from Abenomics, an ambitious programme of fiscal stimulus, monetary easing and structural reforms that its chief architect believes will lift Japan out of 20 years of deflationary purgatory.

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Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:26 | 3656073 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

hhmmmm....how much are they? I would buy them..

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:28 | 3656084 Major Major Major
Major Major Major's picture

You can't buy them!  They are only interested in the size of your JGB holdings.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:30 | 3656094 economics9698
economics9698's picture
"Japan Resorts To Teenage Girls In Short Skirts To Get Their ....... Up"

Sorry, I apologize, just could not help myself. 

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:32 | 3656105 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Lets blow the fuckin top of the NIKKEI and show some NIPPON NIPPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:58 | 3656245 Raynja
Raynja's picture

i've heard of freedom fighters, i take it these are freedom fuckers.

i was pissed about the t-shirts, until i realized they said 15,000, and then i realized the momo chasers are right. abe just isn't ambitious enough.

and lastly, i wasn't sure who was going to play axis and who was going to play allies this time around, this has led me to believe china will be the ones defending civilization.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:08 | 3656293 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Hmmmm.

No blonds or redheads.  I'm calling the affirmative action poe-lice.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:14 | 3656316 killallthefiat
killallthefiat's picture

Man, I don't want to sound racist and all, but those them there Japs is fugly

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:50 | 3656451 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Found my new desktop background

 

Thanks Tyler.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 21:38 | 3656810 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

Somebody needs to explain the printing press to the pop tarts.   Stick a couple of more zeros on the currency and they'll be walking around with their skirts up on 20 ft poles.

Fri, 06/14/2013 - 04:53 | 3657452 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

welcome to dystopia

 

 

 

seriously, didnt they have a great culture at one point?

is this what too much radiation gets you?

Fri, 06/14/2013 - 05:26 | 3657461 Popo
Popo's picture

When Japan crashes and burns, the entire female population of Japan will be pulling their skirts *down* as a regular form of employment.

 

Fri, 06/14/2013 - 15:40 | 3659203 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Down?  Why wouldn't you just lift the skirt?

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 21:00 | 3656697 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Oh stop.  They are cute but they are children!  Sick. 

What is weird is they have not had the unAsian plastic surgery.  I think William Banzi posted some pictures of young women in South Korea (?) beauty contest where they all had plastic surgey that de-Asianizes them.  They all looked alike. Really weird.  I think it was SK.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 23:03 | 3657049 BigInJapan
BigInJapan's picture

Completely sickening. What's worse is at 3:00, I totally expected those girls to transform into a giant deflation battling robot firing Yen from it's nipples and taking a Hero pose on the roof of the bank of Japan.

 

So uninspired...

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:17 | 3656323 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

The one on the left looks like the Japanese school girl assassin from Kill Bill.

I can be nice to you or I can be very very mean.  Now buy stocks.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:33 | 3656109 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

The reactor was leaking more than they thought...

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:01 | 3656251 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

There's other things leaking after viewing..I mean reading the article..

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 21:26 | 3656767 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

they may rename it the Bukkake 255

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:32 | 3656112 Rahm
Rahm's picture

I predict >1,000 comment thread

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:35 | 3656130 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Tyler must need the extra ad views this month.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:35 | 3656103 alphamentalist
alphamentalist's picture

"You can't buy them!  They are only interested in the size of your JGB holdings."

its not the size but the convexity that matters?

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:41 | 3656159 Major Major Major
Major Major Major's picture

That's just what people with less than ¥600,000,000 in paper say.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:07 | 3656285 Timmay
Timmay's picture

Alooooot of repressed dirty old men in Japan......

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 20:05 | 3656494 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Kinda wondering about ZH as well.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:14 | 3656313 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Well I'll be damned; it really is for the children!

Fri, 06/14/2013 - 02:17 | 3657366 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Yep, just like the Tokyo trains.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:40 | 3656412 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

dochi de mo kawaii ko nai

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:41 | 3656420 Blano
Blano's picture

JGB holdings, is that what kids call it nowadays??

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:43 | 3656166 Scro
Scro's picture

A couple of them look cross-eyed.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:14 | 3656317 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

Fukked too hard by tiny dicks, I suppose.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:39 | 3656404 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

"Twins, Basil. Twins....!?!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZhQpyr2FBw

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:04 | 3656266 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

Since when did cheap sex sell?

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 20:46 | 3656645 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I would love to see a video with Kyle Bass to see his reaction.  I think he has a wife and kids and is a fairly conservative guy.  I think he would also find this ssad and offensive.

Maybe the vermin at CNBC can try this.   Get all the old bags on CNBC in mini skirts. 

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 21:05 | 3656707 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

They are cute girls. I get dibs on the one on the far left

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 21:27 | 3656768 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Since when did cheap sex sell?"

Since about 20,000 BC, give or take.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:16 | 3656322 Clayton Bigsby
Clayton Bigsby's picture

Go Nikkei go!!!!

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:44 | 3656429 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

Miko just loves my BIG JBonds.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:28 | 3656081 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Clearly a sign of the End Times.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:32 | 3656107 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

MOAR 'CameRtoes" bitchez!

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:06 | 3656281 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

I hate myself for laughing at that repeatedly.

Fri, 06/14/2013 - 22:00 | 3660097 artless
artless's picture

ditto.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:17 | 3656327 Clayton Bigsby
Clayton Bigsby's picture

Saracious lemark!

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:18 | 3656329 Clayton Bigsby
Clayton Bigsby's picture

Pelvelt!

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 19:14 | 3656307 Raynja
Raynja's picture

when i saw the wsj federator game i was sure that was top ticking the markets.

and this might video as well have been produced in Japan in June of 1937.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:32 | 3656083 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Fuk mi, fuk yu, fuk wong, fuk us, and fuk em!  I can name every member of the band.

I love their number 1 hit, bukkake!  Kinda sounda like Bernanke and along the same theme.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:28 | 3656085 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

What the hell is wrong with them? It's like they came out of the West Virginia mountains. Bunch of old perverts.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 20:03 | 3656489 sunnyside
sunnyside's picture

As a proud Mountaineer I take umbrage to your remark.  Show me one piece of evidence that these young ladies are related.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:29 | 3656091 alphamentalist
alphamentalist's picture

upon viewing the bait I think i'll stay short.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:40 | 3656153 alphamentalist
alphamentalist's picture

downarrowed? and i thought ZH was free of pederasts.

Thu, 06/13/2013 - 18:30 | 3656098 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Does anyone care how they sound?

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