Fact Or Fiction: Money Devalued As Price Of Money Skyrockets

Tyler Durden's picture

After fluctuating wildly this morning between $1 and $35, the price of money spiked to an unprecedented $90 a dollar in afternoon trading, plunging international financial markets into chaos.


Markets In Turmoil As Price Of Money Skyrockets To $90 A Dollar


Wall Street erupted into absolute pandemonium once the price of a dollar jumped past $50 - if this keeps up, I wouldn’t be surprised if the dollar reached $275 or higher by the closing bell,” said CNBC analyst Marvin Kanisch, noting that the price of 20 dollars had soared well over $1,000 amid frenzied trading before plummeting back down to a more reasonable $430, while the price of five dollars remained steady at $5.

“Everywhere you look, panicked investors are clamoring to exchange their dollars - which can only purchase about two cents apiece right now - for more stable dimes and quarters, which are trading at $18 and $32.25, respectively. And with the price of pennies falling below $140 an ounce, it’s easy to understand the sense of urgency. Bottom line: It’s a seller’s market.”

With the skyrocketing dollar-to-dollar exchange rate prompting Americans to hoard as much money as possible, President Obama is expected to address the nation later today about easing America’s dependence on domestic currency.


(Source: The Onion)

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slaughterer's picture

Huh? Tuesday humor?

TheTmfreak's picture

Just like PM, if you ain't got physical you ain't got shit.

kliguy38's picture

There will be that Force Majeure coming that rocks the once safe fiat FRN ponzi....but it will be their own trigger....."it will come out of nowhere"......and of course "No one could have seen it coming"

Manthong's picture

I do not understand..

For some strange reason the same, pre-owned, 25 year old watches as mine just keep going up in price.

James_Cole's picture

Can't we just replace CNN with the Onion already? Would be a great public service - 24/7 truth. 

THX 1178's picture

I wonder If those fellers down at the Onion realize that money actaully DOES have a price. Debt based money is a bitch. And it VERY SOON will be nothing to laugh about.

economics9698's picture

I am going to wait until a dollar is $25.

disabledvet's picture

i'm going to wait until my 1911 real copper penny is worth...25,000 dollars. and then maybe my F-150 pick up truck will be worth something as well.

Pladizow's picture

Not Far From Reality:

One Dollar = $16.60


A dollar is 371.25 grains of .9999 silver

1oz = 437.5 grains of .9999 silver

371.25 grains of .9999 silver = 0.85oz

0.85oz of .9999 silver = $16.60


The Navigator's picture

At my local coin shop, I'm paying $23 today for old Morgan silver Dollars - quite a premium based on your breakdown of numbers.

Still, sometimes (as evidenced in the story above) the price for (paper) dollars doesn't matter whereas the number of stacks does.

stacks, Stacks, STACKS!!!

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


1oz = 437.5 grains of .9999 silver

While not wanting to be nitpickingly pedantic, I must point out a common error.

1 avoirdupois ounce is 437.5 grains.

1 troy ounce is 480 grains.

371.25 grains is 0.773toz

@ $19.53 per toz,

0.773toz of .9999 silver is about $15.10.

It's just one of those things (like a barrel of oil being 42 gallons, not 55 gallons) that frequently confounds calculations.

To make matters more confusing, although a troy ounce is heavier than an avoirdupois ounce, a troy pound is lighter than an avoirdupois pound:

1 avoirdupois pound = 16 avoirdupois ounces

1 troy pound = 12 troy ounces

CPL's picture

DHS uncle stories...sigh...

Don't believe a thing on that website, there is nothing free about Canadian press, never has been.  It's right up there with Before it's news.  You want to know when something is happening you look at sales contracts.  All govie RPF's are public and thanks to NAFTA you can see them from the procurement websites for both Mexico and Canada.  Follow the unbacked bits of paper.

Or if you want to see the world in a snapshot.


Grows rice in a radioactive Japan, has a geniune knack for finding buried stuff and whoever the kind anon is he does it because he likes it.  Read about a month in and you'll get a better picture of the situation (we're all hosed, all social stratas)


fonestar's picture

The good stuff anyway... Rolex, Tudor, Omega, Breitling, etc...

francis_sawyer's picture

I have a watch made out of bitcoins... [I think Fred Flintstone does too]...

ATM's picture

Vacheron, Patek, Nardin, IWC....

Momma's gold president is a piece of shit. Hate that fucker. I wear an IWC every day and think I've had to adjust the time twice in 20 years. Not what I would consider high end but I could sell it for double what I paid for it in the mid 90s.

Cacete de Ouro's picture

I understand....but admittedly it only clicked halfway through article.
The scenario is hyper inflation in real time. The fiat in circulation cannot be printed quick enough so the existing currency (notes and coins) is worth a lot less, so trades at higher prices, since its worth a lot less. The notes are losing value quicker than the coins so their prices are rocketing more. Even cheap metals have more value than paper.

This velocity fall in value of a currency can happen this quickly, read about Weimar 1919 to 1923.

SafelyGraze's picture

does it sometimes seem like you are just being played, as if you are pitted against a chess champion or something?



Herd Redirection Committee's picture

They're not even that smart, IMO, they are just cunning and ruthless, which through their sheer audacity and doing things in plain sight, are able to fool about 90%+ of people.  Most people are naive, they want to be told the truth, and they will by default believe what you are telling them.

CynicLaureate's picture

The average voter is so dumbed down today that it doesn't take much genius to outplay them.

Trade promises of bread and circusses for votes, and keep sucking the people dry.

BanksterSlayer's picture

Jim Willie, on the coming declaration of Force Majeure by the gold cartel:


If the courts recognize and endorse the corrupt lower paper Gold price presented by the COMEX, then the big bankers can legally escape from catastrophic losses and slither like snakes into the forests of Paraguay. 


That is their goal, and they do not care if the public laughs at the process, or if the financial analysts harshly criticize them. 


They care about the legal escape route offered by Force Majeure, then establishment of a fascist police state.



kito's picture

oh for chrisssss sakes.....enough of this bullshit from jim willie............and king world news..............and every other fucking broken clock out there who knows the comex is just about to break.....just about........almost.....just..................its always coming.........they always know.............because some fucking unnamed bullion dealer in hong fucking kong told them so...........................im at my fucking breaking point...........and it ISNT COMING....ITS RIGHT HERE AND FUCKING NOW!!!!!!!!!

fonzannoon's picture

I think if you pay for a subscription you will get a better understanding of his viewpoint.

kito's picture

you pay for his subscription?

CPL's picture


fonzannoon's picture

Of course not I am still waiting for Morgan Stanley to collapse from 3 years ago. Supposedly 900 accountants are feverishly still working on preventing it.

I can't stand that guy.

kito's picture

ohhh yes!!! the brother of the dude whos fathers best friend was one of the higher ups at ms.............i sold my house and all my gold teeth just to short ms...........................still waiting.................

CPL's picture

Penny millionaire news letter titles might change but the content never does.

Translational Lift's picture

"No one could have seen it coming"

No one except the connected ones (chosen ones)...........


The paper dollar is currently fluctuating at market value.

The silver dollaris still ahead of the curve - ever since it went out of circulation in nineteen sixty fucking four.

Buy the real dollar, bitchez. 

CPL's picture

That Onion article just flew right over your head didn't it.  oh boy...


So if you aren't comfortable holding your silver, I can name about 100 people in here that will fist fight to be the first guy in line.  Make your offer.  We'll trade all the bits of paper for your worthless silver right now.


Can't figure out a transaction method, there are enough financial sharks in here to help with that.


Which dollar is real, bitch ? It sure as fuck isn't the paper one. All that gangagreen is rotting your head off. 

CPL's picture

So you got something to trade or not Mary?  If you don't play, get off the field.

It's pretty simple, I'm sure you can figure it out.  I give you dollars and you give me all your worthless silver .9999% pure please.  Easy as pie.  If that is too hard for you I can arrange some puppets illustrating the exchange of your need of bits of paper and my need for your silver.

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

They use silver in tomahawk and hellfire missiles.  And it can't be recycled or salvaged after use.

Are you telling me the world is going to use less tomahawk and cruise missiles going forward?

CPL's picture



"NetBraze 1205 has a low melting temperature with good flow properties. This filler metal is used to minimize the stress corrosion cracking of nickel or nickel based alloys. It is often used to braze stainless steel in food handling equipment. Because of its white hue it is sometimes used for stainless steel and silverware applications when color match is important. NetBraze 1205 contains 56% Silver"


Bit broader than that, but all electronic systems rely on a certain content of silver in the grade of the solder.  PS4's, Wii's, Dildoes that attach to ipods.  All of it.   The sterile nature of silver is necessary in all medical equipment that goes into people's bodies.  Lots of industrial applications because it's a clean, strong and conductive metal.

That's not a mistake btw, it's 23-28 bucks for half an ounce of silver in this specific product.  So that's about double of the market rate.


Read the lines over and over again, gangahead - silver is real, paper is not. Clarification of my reality included below.

I have to poop.

 Paper sucks, you Wall Street fucks! I'll see you vampires in the sun,
with my loaded silver gun.

Yer goin' down in flames,

from Lower Manhattan to the Thames. Your paper is I know not where,

I'd rather shit my underwear! 

For, be there bull,

or be there bear,

silver is the suit I wear!

(With gratitude, and apologies to Dr. Seuss.)


The only paper I own is the stuff I wipe my ass with. Market paper is worthless, because I cannot do a good job of wiping my ass with it. Gold was worth $28.00 an ounce when I was a kid. Silver was worth whatever was printed on the coin you spent. Any one think those days are coming back? All of the lying bum fucking aristocracy of the Age Of Paper Power can burn in their paper suits soonest. I won't even bother pissing on them to put out the flames.

I collect gold, silver, lead, copper, real dry powder, food, tools, diesel fuel, and other useful commodities. There is a community of folks all doing the same, so skill sets and extra eyes and hands can guard each others sixes, and "break on through to the other side, break on through to the other side, YEAH  "

HFT ain't good for me. 

Credit defaults far as the eye can see.


CDS's gonna make some messes. 

Boo hoo hoo as thieves confesses. 

TBTF gonna fall off a cliff - REAL NEAT.

Wall Street is a bunch of fucking dead meat.


Banks used to be so overleveraged bold.

Now, they're layin' bankrupt,dead and cold. Gonna be nothing but prepper people,

all the rest gonna be surprised fucked up Sheeple.

God bless this mess.

I must confess.

I'm a fucking poet,


and didn't even know it.



Pairadimes's picture

I must have a broken rib or something. It hurts too much to laugh.

Smiley's picture

And We The People are the punchline.

Silver Bully's picture

'every day is a joke.'

True, but when ZH reposts it, then it becomes a headline that might affect the algos. At least one can hope.

maxmad's picture

ZH has  become The Onion

tmosley's picture

So you're saying its all ogre?

Al Huxley's picture

The financial world has become The Onion.  The political world has been the Onion for many years.