Goldman's Anti-Taper Muppet-Baiting Presentation

Tyler Durden's picture

With stocks experiencing their best 3-day run in six months, Goldman Sachs is quick to prepare the "use the recent downdraft to build toward their strategic allocation to equities" meme. In 16 pages of bright-and-breezy charts and commentary, Goldman interprets the Fed's (dovish) commentary, explains the dovish implications to buy stocks and risky debt, and throws cold-water on the fears of China. It appears we have nothing to fear but fear itself (oh, and a global marketplace experiencing near-crisis-level volatility and deleveraging) because it's all Goldilocks from here - as good is great, bad is good, and no news is absolutely bullish. Contrast this bonds bad, stocks good perspective with Jeff Gundlach's dismissal of the great rotation meme earlier.


The Federal Reserve Dont Let It Be Misunderstood

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SpykerSpeed's picture

But I suppose gold and silver are safe, eh ZeroHedge?



LetThemEatRand's picture

They ain't going to zero.  Hedge accordingly.

Fredo Corleone's picture

"On a long enough timeline, the value of the U.S. dollar drops to zero."

LetThemEatRand's picture

I've been wrong before, and before, and before again.  But I think PMs are crashing for a very specific reason and I don't think the time line is very long for us knowing why.   Something is rotten in Denmark.

fonzannoon's picture

in 2008 we were all watching the cds on the financial as this was going on. This time around it's countries, not companies that are imploding, supposedly. I actually can't envision it playing out.

disabledvet's picture

sure ya' can. "imagine 100 million Angry Egyptians" and simply go from there.

W74's picture

Yes, but how will they be walking?

Meat Hammer's picture

I just read one of the best analogies yet that describes QE4EVA

It's like the bus on Speed. Slow down below 50mph and the bomb goes off. You know eventually you run out of gas, the bus drops below 50mph, and the bomb goes off. But you're not going to slow down the bus deliberately.

DeadFred's picture

Luckily when they come to confiscate your gold it won't be there for them. I was a witness to your boating accident, a very tragic event.  My sworn statement will be at least as valid as anything coming out of Holder's mouth.

fonzannoon's picture

I will just tell them what everyone else will tell them "I sold that shit at $1,200 and was lucky to get out!"

nmewn's picture

Good man.

Abiding by the laws of criminals & sociopaths is a suckers game.

Al Huxley's picture

On that not, could somebody ping GS or JPM and find out what time tonight's gold fuckathon starts?  I have some errands to do but I don't want to miss the show.

rocker's picture

Just don't forget to buy their U.S. Bank Equities. Afterall, they did put it last.  LMAO. Time for a Bass Ale. 

Al Huxley's picture

Shit, missed the opening act.  Well, at least it's a long show.

fonzannoon's picture

I don't know what is more fucked up. Their client recommendations to buy as much hot garbage high yield emerging market etc. shit as you can, or that they will be right.

Al Huxley's picture

Don't be mislead by their one-off 'right on gold' call.  They needed help to pry the gold out of GLD.  I think the general rule (other than gold) is still to fade whatever they tell their muppets.

Manipuflation's picture

So what are you saying exactly?

SpykerSpeed's picture

I'm a libertarian.  In fact, I'm an anarcho-capitalist.

But one thing I can't stand is bullshit investing advice.  And ZeroHedge pushes it like there's no tomorrow.  It makes more sense to be stacking cash than precious metals at this point.  Deflation will strike first, and only then will the hyperinflation happen.

vulcanraven's picture

What investment advice do you speak of?

Buying gold and silver is not an investment, it is insurance.

disabledvet's picture

"and unlike Tylers Durden he's left handed."

LetThemEatRand's picture

"Deflation will strike first, and only then will the hyperinflation happen."

Ben printed more money in the last few years than America incurred in total debt during its entire history -- to avoid deflation.  He bet the farm that deflation will not happen.  If it happens, no one knows what's next and it won't play out in an orderly fashion.

KickIce's picture

I think the deflation is planned, what better way to buy the world with imaginary money?   The inflation comes when the sociopaths start competing for anything real or when China dumps their US debt.

LetThemEatRand's picture

Very viable and likely theory.

KickIce's picture

Now we just need to figure out why Asia is dumping PMs.

e-recep's picture

gold to dow ratio is around 12.7.

i expect it to be close to 0.75 in a couple of years.

this ride is not for the faint hearted.

buzzsaw99's picture

I am really looking forward to Q2 2013 earnings reports for jpm (12th?) and gs (16th?). More loan loss reserves booked for bonuses? the squid must die.

rocker's picture

We can always count on you for news we can use. Nice.

Al Huxley's picture

Only one can survive at the end, or some corny tv-show slogan like that.  But first they've got a whole raft of weak sisters to cannibalize before the final death match.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"Goldman's Anti-Taper Muppet-Baiting Presentation"

And the exterminators are coming to our new home tomorrow to do some mice and ant baiting. I wonder if they work for Goldman as well. :)

FieldingMellish's picture

And down we go.... gold now @ $1187... silver $18.30.... 

disabledvet's picture

with Larry Kudlow (God bless 'im) telling me my money is only safe in the mattress. I WILL NOT SUBMIT! I BELIEVE IN MAKING MONEY TOO!

nmewn's picture

Cool ain't it?

For the patient, its the bargain of a lifetime ;-)

adr's picture

As with every Muppet fuckathon they will drive the price of anything the muppets hold to the point they capitulate. Muppets hoarding gold, drive the value down until the pain makes them sell, then buy all they held at discount prices.

The muppets will buy stocks or real estate, only to see them crater in value when interest rates skyrocket. The goal is always to get the muppet to hold the bag.

When the things they hold drop, they'll watch the gold they held a short time ago skyrocket.

The Muppets will cry and Blankfein will thank them for their generosity like the sociopath he is.

chump666's picture

American centric and European centric post empire f*cking bullsh*t.

Asia, China that is, is liquidating. Just look at the gold price.  Japan/China both are losing control of their markets, more so bonds (with China assisting Japan's volatility).  The world, Wall Street and yes Goldman will get in the neck.  The three way dance with death: Cronies, HFTs and central banks.

fonzannoon's picture

Chump are you telling me that China is liquidating physical gold?

Cause I am gonna lose my mind.

disabledvet's picture

China is liquidating gold. Venezuela is liquidating oil. Argentina is liquidating. Not even South Africa looks good here. You may do with mind whatever you not lose it though. I prefer forgetting myself.

chump666's picture

Argentina has been liquidating for months, hence USD bids, Brazil is scary.  If south America implodes gold will tank hard.  This is what happens when the world relied on China as a white knight.

chump666's picture

On a liquidity crunch, possible but not a certainty.  What I am saying is that China appears to be liquidating (all assets). The gold sell is too severe, and the USD has NOT shown to be hyper bid (gold selling).  I'm looking it at a deflationary trade from China (bank crisis/debt write-downs), I don't even think about US markets anymore.  I wouldn't short them on Fed still printing large into Wall Street.  So for me it;s all Asia.  They melt we melt.

Stay frosty though, gold will go bid on stock market chaos and war.

Al Huxley's picture

I'd need to see some evidence to believe China would sell gold and hold USTs.

fonzannoon's picture

Venezuela repatriated that gold just to cough it up? China has been stockpiling to diversify out of dollars only to hand that gold back to.....who is buying exactly?

chump666's picture

Who's buying and who is holding?  This is an astounding sell off. 

UST yields rise more, China will sell. 

fonzannoon's picture

What is the end game. Does China want UST's or Gold. I thought I had that one right. Figures.

chump666's picture

Maybe gold Fonz.   What a magnificent play that would be, liquidate gold, cause a panic, sell TON of USTs, then buy gold en masse on the lows.

Sure they are commies, but they got the Stratagems down pat.

wisehiney's picture

You guys have not figured out that all of these fucking commies are working together?

Manipuflation's picture

All of you PM trolls, I want you to know something and I want you to understand it well.  Even if gold and silver drop by 50% from current prices, I will still have doubled on the stack.  Remember, I sold a lot at the top in silver and I am not leveraged.  I will remember every single one of you.  What I am going to do to you in the future is going to hurt SO bad you will wish it was only a 12 inch BBC dildo up your ass because from what I have determined from reading this site for as long as I have is that most of you are hopelessly in debt and are nothing more than gamblers hoping to bail your ass out.  Your interest rates are rising.....


Fucking downvote me all you want but you know it is true.