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Thursday Humor: Hockey Porn

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 06/27/2013 17:06 -0400

For some, especially Bruins fans, it appears hockey is better than porn, but only until you lose the Cup... According to the people at pornhub.com, when the game ended around 11 p.m. ET, something funny happened. The people in Chicago were busy celebrating their second Stanley Cup in four years, so traffic stayed down. But in Boston? Obviously, it skyrocketed from people looking for a... relief.

(h/t Jim Bianco)

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Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:10 | 3700953 Motorhead

Bitches, bitchez!

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:13 | 3700962 TruthInSunshine

What'dya think of the woman in the red dress?

Nice, huh?

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:18 | 3700983 I Am Not a Copp...

The Digital Pimp hard at work...

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:26 | 3701013 AlaricBalth

That chart looks like a stick save...

STICK SAVE: A save made with the goaltender's stick. On stick saves, the goaltender should not keep a tight grip on the stick, instead allowing the shot's momentum to push the stick back into the skates/pads, cushioning the blow.

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:27 | 3701019 krispkritter

Now that the CFTC has made the headlines on Corzine(however briefly), I fully expect their chart will look the same...

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 21:55 | 3701977 Lore

IPCC climate scientists, take note.

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:18 | 3700985 SilverIsKing

Boston Strong...Boston Long

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:27 | 3701021 francis_sawyer

I thought they all putted from the rough...

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 19:21 | 3701093 knukles

Dude.
That's Nazi without her teeth!

^{OK honey, open wide just be a big squirt of tasty KY
_{manic laughter}}

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:21 | 3700994 prains

she's a dyke I know I know

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7tvfdSjRE4

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:31 | 3701036 pods

Best hockey movie ever!

"Machine took my quarter!"

A friend of the family was actually one of the guys who was beaten by the Hansons.

pods

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:51 | 3701111 knukles

Man, I'd almost forgot Hanson.
Legend they played live at the 17th annual California pimple fest in Los Banos last year.

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 21:24 | 3701836 prains

met them at a golf tournament a couple of years back, some honest straight up dudes, who like to drink and joke like any good hockey playin dudes

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:21 | 3700997 SeverinSlade

They decided to play with a different kind of stick.

Fri, 06/28/2013 - 08:34 | 3702898 StychoKiller

The Internet is for...

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:11 | 3700957 Dr. Engali

Now that's anal-ysis you won't find at any other financial site.

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:16 | 3700971 debtor of last ...

Touch me doc. You're the eye on top of the inversed pyramid.

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:12 | 3700960 Rainman

Hat Tip Jim researches some truly obscure shit.

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:18 | 3700979 McMolotov

So does the SEC.*

_{*midget tranny pr0n}

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:51 | 3701086 knukles

He must be long gold, too

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:14 | 3700966 Dewey Cheatum Howe

We know who was polishing what type of stick where.

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:24 | 3701009 RacerX

Slapshot?

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:28 | 3701029 RacerX

or, "Oh boy was that a good game. Now I've gotta go wax my stick."

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:26 | 3701016 Being Free

He shoots! He scores!

or do I have that backwards?

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:27 | 3701020 Major Major Major

I wonder what the chart looks like at 11:07 for the boston red hands. My guess is that the traffic would be back down again.

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:50 | 3701105 EclecticParrot

That would allow for both a two-minute minor AND a 5-minute major.

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:28 | 3701028 disabledvet

six fingers or five...

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:42 | 3701069 knukles

"The Five Fingers of Eve"
"A Fist Full of Dolls"
"I Wanna Be Spartacus"
"The Longest Arm"
"From Here to My Elbow"
"For Whom My Balls Troll"
"Casaboinkah"

_{^{and all with that same messed up music}}

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:30 | 3701032 Shevva

When your teams been fucked over it better to try and get the upper hand.

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:32 | 3701037 Taint Boil

PornHub.com … never heard of that one .... ahem. <wife walks in> oh nothing, honey just on ZeroHedge – why?

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:37 | 3701048 NotApplicable

Don't worry, it's run by the NSA, so your secret's safe...

for now.

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:55 | 3701068 Rainman

Mrs. Rainman and other such interlopers are forbidden to enter the RainMan Cave without proper authorization. Of course, this stokes curiosity that they cannot restrain..... consequently, I have accepted this ruling as another BIG FAIL .

Thu, 06/27/2013 - 17:40 | 3701062 Flakmeister