Stocks Soar On Egypt Coup News, Ongoing Portugal Crisis

Tyler Durden's picture

One has to laugh. Following overnight news of an ongoing collapse in the Portuguese government and an epic surge in Portuguese bond yields, not to mention the ongoing military coup in Egypt, the S&P just hit highs as trading volume disappears and the BTFD algos take over. All we need now is news of a meteor headed straight for Manhattan for the ES to be halted limit up.


Update: The melt up on no volume insanity continues:

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CPL's picture

Party hats for everyone!!


Something is happening in Dubai...they are broke again.  And Saudi nationals are sabre rattling against the king again.

Renewable Life's picture

Ya because a civil war on the Suez Canal is totally stabilizing for the region!! If you think Syria is complicated, wait until this shit hits the fan!!!

Bullish today though, buy you little rat bastards, buy!

flacon's picture

These expletive markets! Piece of $hit!

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Seventh seal broken! Riders of the apocalypse unleashed! STOCK MARKET HITS RECORD HIGHS!

kralizec's picture

War boner!  Woo hoo!

Wait, how will this date look in the morning?


Muppet of the Universe's picture

Sometimes, when I read ZH, I like to pretend that I know what I'm talking about and I let the random liquid shit in my head plop out of my head and onto this page.

Muppet of the Universe's picture

Oh SHIT!  You too?1?  Well damn man keep reading below b/c tha liquidity of this fine grit bullshit only gets more and more runny.

fockewulf190's picture

And they want me to sell my phyzz and "get back in the market before it's too late!". Fuck that. Not interested in playing in a rigged casino filled with financial vampires searching for muppets to feed on.

TruthInSunshine's picture

Total and complete manipulation through every indirect (and some may dare claim direct) tool, lever and channel they have at their disposal influencing the equity markets are LITERALLY ALL the Fed & BOJ have at this point to keep the holograms that are the U.S. & Japanese economies believable (even if only to a shrinking % of sheeple).

Ben Bernanke spent the last 4+ years building a perfectly massive equity (and bond) bubble on the pillars of a 'round the clock debt printing/check kiting sweatshop, and he'll be damned if his "Virtuous Circle" macroeconomic policy is revealed as the ponzi & pure alchemy that it is prior to his graceful exit, if he can help it.

Kevin Henry's still pitching, but Ben made the call to the bullpen and it looks like there's some activity goin' on down there, in case he needs insurance.

g'kar's picture this economy so shallow and holographic they have to do this crap? Is this all about maintaining Obama's presidency or is it more than that? I'm baffled.

BandGap's picture

It's a cage match - Sunnis, Shia, Hezbullah, Al Queda, Coptics, dogs, cats, gerbils and ferrets.

Let's get it on!

tenpanhandle's picture

Don't forget the homosexuals; they're allied with the goebbles, I mean gerbils.

DormRoom's picture

Same up days on horrible news occured during the Financial crisis because Algos were buying to cover shorts, but once shorts stops were covered the markets hit new lows a few days later. Repeat.  Volatility spreads widening would indicate this shift.

hugovanderbubble's picture

SELL 100%

and short till eternity


CPL's picture

Go look at the Dutch bank balance sheets.  Equally screwed along with all the Nordic regions as well.


Man... it's mess that they'll never dig out of in a 1000 years.

JFKFC's picture

FAZ is a financial sector 3x inverse ETF.
Go long on the inevitable.

flacon's picture

I recommended FAZ to my brother this past weekend. Just watch that decay though - sideways action is bad for FAZ. 

CPL's picture

Don't put a nickle in the market.  I am so serious about this.  Do not perform any cash and carry trades for the next four months, it's asking for trouble.  Bear or Bull, it doesn't matter, just stay out of it and pretend it doesn't exist.


5 years I've watched people play chicken and lose hard everytime.  Best way to play this 'rally' is not to play.  Walk away from the table.

jvetter713's picture

Never ever go long FAZ.  Short FAS.  Decay on these is insane.  Short the inverse of the inverse.

CPL's picture

Iceland, Finland, Greenland, Norway, Sweden, Denmark.  The balance sheets are really awful.  

Otherwise positive exports in the area.  Some great hockey players, amazing metal bands (Russia as well), Linux (it's free as in beer), Minecraft (Mojang) and some of weirdest movies I've ever seen.  Individually the area excels at cool things for people.  Corporate offerings, they suck horribly.  Government spends far more than it'll ever bring in for half a century.

It's an area of the world that lives on credit...and they still have parliamentary systems tied to royal blood lines.  It's a mess that is waiting to implode with a single missed shipment of vodka and beer.

Cull Morgan's picture

According to IMF, here's the net government debt as % of GDP:

Norway -166
Finland -51
Sweden -18
Denmark +8
Canada +35
Germany +57
US +108
Japan +134
Greece +155

Who's living on credit and is a mess waiting to implode?

JeremyWS's picture

Yeah but a meteor is truly bullish, think of all the damaged windows, Krugmans wet dream....

I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

Thought that when I saw Man of Steel and how fucked up Metropolis was after the battle with Zod.   How bullish for the economy that would be!

101 years and counting's picture

its July 3.  cant have a down day before the 4th.  after the 4th.....


just look at chart.  spx is still rolling over.  lower lows and lower highs intact on the daily, weekly and monthly.

slaughterer's picture

Love this market.  

Mordenkainen's picture

I could hear you guffaw when you typed "market."

prains's picture

Don't know anyone who has laid down a nickle for a stock in 3 years

kralizec's picture

I only stocks barbarous relics, lead, arms, food, water...booze...

Seasmoke's picture

It's all Gold !!!

Silverhog's picture

Stocks will soar on a rescued kitten. 

khakuda's picture

Let's add higher interest rates, surging oil, falling mortgage apps, etc...

But, hey, it's a the BIGGEST POMO day of the month crammed into a half day...GENIUS!

Or maybe a certain squid got the employment report a couple days early...

Ness.'s picture

"I want a hamburger, no a cheeseburger.  I want a hotdog.  I want a milkshake..."  

Happy Independence Day USSA.  PPT, take me away!!!



kralizec's picture

"You'll get nothing and like it!!!"

Colonel Klink's picture

Where's my 15k rally hat?

gjp's picture

Was there ever any doubt?

Temporalist's picture

And in much moar better news about the rescued economies of Euro:

Analysis: Portugal, Greece risk reawakening euro zone beast

"A teetering Portuguese government has underlined the threat that the euro zone debt crisis, in hibernation for almost a year, may be about to reawaken.  

From Greece to Cyprus, Slovenia to Spain and Italy, and now most pressingly Portugal, where the finance and foreign ministers resigned in the space of two days, a host of problems is stirring after 10 months of relative calm imposed by the European Central Bank."


Portugal president calls crisis talks as government teeters

"Portugal's president summoned main political parties for crisis talks over the government's future with markets reeling on fears that a snap election could derail Lisbon's exit from an international bailout."

Clowns on Acid's picture

Hey it's only Portugal,'s only Egypt,'s only Greece. it's only Cyprus.... it's only.... feckin' printing !!

hugovanderbubble's picture




Are both in default

thismarketisrigged's picture

''All we need now is news of a meteor headed straight for Manhattan for the ES to be halted limit up''


cried of laughter from this line, because its so true

Quinvarius's picture

Must close over 15k for the holiday.

Divine Wind's picture



The New Norm: Bloodshed = Stock Bullishness.

This is really one eff'd up world we have here.

breakyoself's picture

Why don't they ever speak of POMO?