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Stocks Soar On Egypt Coup News, Ongoing Portugal Crisis

Tyler Durden's picture




 

One has to laugh. Following overnight news of an ongoing collapse in the Portuguese government and an epic surge in Portuguese bond yields, not to mention the ongoing military coup in Egypt, the S&P just hit highs as trading volume disappears and the BTFD algos take over. All we need now is news of a meteor headed straight for Manhattan for the ES to be halted limit up.

 

Update: The melt up on no volume insanity continues:

 

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Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:06 | 3718227 CPL
CPL's picture

Party hats for everyone!!

 

Something is happening in Dubai...they are broke again.  And Saudi nationals are sabre rattling against the king again.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:08 | 3718256 Renewable Life
Renewable Life's picture

Ya because a civil war on the Suez Canal is totally stabilizing for the region!! If you think Syria is complicated, wait until this shit hits the fan!!!

Bullish today though, buy you little rat bastards, buy!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:11 | 3718275 flacon
flacon's picture

These expletive markets! Piece of $hit!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:30 | 3718381 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Seventh seal broken! Riders of the apocalypse unleashed! STOCK MARKET HITS RECORD HIGHS!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:44 | 3718453 kralizec
kralizec's picture

War boner!  Woo hoo!

Wait, how will this date look in the morning?

Doh!

Thu, 07/04/2013 - 05:58 | 3720745 Muppet of the U...
Muppet of the Universe's picture

Sometimes, when I read ZH, I like to pretend that I know what I'm talking about and I let the random liquid shit in my head plop out of my head and onto this page.

Thu, 07/04/2013 - 06:00 | 3720748 Muppet of the U...
Muppet of the Universe's picture

Oh SHIT!  You too?1?  Well damn man keep reading below b/c tha liquidity of this fine grit bullshit only gets more and more runny.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:37 | 3718414 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

And they want me to sell my phyzz and "get back in the market before it's too late!". Fuck that. Not interested in playing in a rigged casino filled with financial vampires searching for muppets to feed on.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:45 | 3718467 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

ShTFP

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:29 | 3718313 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Total and complete manipulation through every indirect (and some may dare claim direct) tool, lever and channel they have at their disposal influencing the equity markets are LITERALLY ALL the Fed & BOJ have at this point to keep the holograms that are the U.S. & Japanese economies believable (even if only to a shrinking % of sheeple).

Ben Bernanke spent the last 4+ years building a perfectly massive equity (and bond) bubble on the pillars of a 'round the clock debt printing/check kiting sweatshop, and he'll be damned if his "Virtuous Circle" macroeconomic policy is revealed as the ponzi & pure alchemy that it is prior to his graceful exit, if he can help it.

Kevin Henry's still pitching, but Ben made the call to the bullpen and it looks like there's some activity goin' on down there, in case he needs insurance.

   
Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:10 | 3718591 g'kar
g'kar's picture

Amazing.....is this economy so shallow and holographic they have to do this crap? Is this all about maintaining Obama's presidency or is it more than that? I'm baffled.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:21 | 3718332 BandGap
BandGap's picture

It's a cage match - Sunnis, Shia, Hezbullah, Al Queda, Coptics, dogs, cats, gerbils and ferrets.

Let's get it on!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:55 | 3718517 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Don't forget the Feral Hogs!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:18 | 3718636 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Don't forget the homosexuals; they're allied with the goebbles, I mean gerbils.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:35 | 3718399 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

Same up days on horrible news occured during the Financial crisis because Algos were buying to cover shorts, but once shorts stops were covered the markets hit new lows a few days later. Repeat.  Volatility spreads widening would indicate this shift.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:05 | 3718231 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

SELL 100%

and short till eternity

COMMERZBANK IS IN DEFAULT

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:07 | 3718243 CPL
CPL's picture

Go look at the Dutch bank balance sheets.  Equally screwed along with all the Nordic regions as well.

 

Man... it's mess that they'll never dig out of in a 1000 years.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:10 | 3718268 Rubicon
Rubicon's picture

Nordic...?

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:13 | 3718281 flacon
Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:20 | 3718323 JFKFC
JFKFC's picture

FAZ is a financial sector 3x inverse ETF.
Go long on the inevitable.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:40 | 3718440 flacon
flacon's picture

I recommended FAZ to my brother this past weekend. Just watch that decay though - sideways action is bad for FAZ. 

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:53 | 3718507 CPL
CPL's picture

Don't put a nickle in the market.  I am so serious about this.  Do not perform any cash and carry trades for the next four months, it's asking for trouble.  Bear or Bull, it doesn't matter, just stay out of it and pretend it doesn't exist.

 

5 years I've watched people play chicken and lose hard everytime.  Best way to play this 'rally' is not to play.  Walk away from the table.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:27 | 3718681 jvetter713
jvetter713's picture

Never ever go long FAZ.  Short FAS.  Decay on these is insane.  Short the inverse of the inverse.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:51 | 3718489 CPL
CPL's picture

Iceland, Finland, Greenland, Norway, Sweden, Denmark.  The balance sheets are really awful.  

Otherwise positive exports in the area.  Some great hockey players, amazing metal bands (Russia as well), Linux (it's free as in beer), Minecraft (Mojang) and some of weirdest movies I've ever seen.  Individually the area excels at cool things for people.  Corporate offerings, they suck horribly.  Government spends far more than it'll ever bring in for half a century.

It's an area of the world that lives on credit...and they still have parliamentary systems tied to royal blood lines.  It's a mess that is waiting to implode with a single missed shipment of vodka and beer.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 15:11 | 3719186 Cull Morgan
Cull Morgan's picture

According to IMF, here's the net government debt as % of GDP:

Norway -166
Finland -51
Sweden -18
Denmark +8
Canada +35
Germany +57
US +108
Japan +134
Greece +155

Who's living on credit and is a mess waiting to implode?

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:06 | 3718236 JeremyWS
JeremyWS's picture

Yeah but a meteor is truly bullish, think of all the damaged windows, Krugmans wet dream....

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:19 | 3718317 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

Thought that when I saw Man of Steel and how fucked up Metropolis was after the battle with Zod.   How bullish for the economy that would be!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:06 | 3718237 digitlman
Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:07 | 3718238 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

its July 3.  cant have a down day before the 4th.  after the 4th.....

 

just look at chart.  spx is still rolling over.  lower lows and lower highs intact on the daily, weekly and monthly.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:08 | 3718247 CPL
CPL's picture

Operation Blackjack.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:07 | 3718241 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Love this market.  

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:11 | 3718270 Mordenkainen
Mordenkainen's picture

I could hear you guffaw when you typed "market."

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:25 | 3718349 prains
prains's picture

Don't know anyone who has laid down a nickle for a stock in 3 years

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:25 | 3718670 kralizec
kralizec's picture

I only stocks barbarous relics, lead, arms, food, water...booze...

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:07 | 3718246 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

It's all Gold !!!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:08 | 3718250 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

Stocks will soar on a rescued kitten. 

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:15 | 3718251 khakuda
khakuda's picture

Let's add higher interest rates, surging oil, falling mortgage apps, etc...

But, hey, it's a the BIGGEST POMO day of the month crammed into a half day...GENIUS!

Or maybe a certain squid got the employment report a couple days early...

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:08 | 3718255 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

ES TARGET 1500-1535

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:09 | 3718260 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

"I want a hamburger, no a cheeseburger.  I want a hotdog.  I want a milkshake..."  

Happy Independence Day USSA.  PPT, take me away!!!

 

 

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:23 | 3718659 kralizec
kralizec's picture

"You'll get nothing and like it!!!"

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:09 | 3718264 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Where's my 15k rally hat?

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:10 | 3718266 nomorebuyins
nomorebuyins's picture

Good times.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:10 | 3718267 gjp
gjp's picture

Was there ever any doubt?

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:12 | 3718276 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

And in much moar better news about the rescued economies of Euro:

Analysis: Portugal, Greece risk reawakening euro zone beast

"A teetering Portuguese government has underlined the threat that the euro zone debt crisis, in hibernation for almost a year, may be about to reawaken.  

From Greece to Cyprus, Slovenia to Spain and Italy, and now most pressingly Portugal, where the finance and foreign ministers resigned in the space of two days, a host of problems is stirring after 10 months of relative calm imposed by the European Central Bank."

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/07/03/us-eu-crisis-return-analysis-i...

 

Portugal president calls crisis talks as government teeters

"Portugal's president summoned main political parties for crisis talks over the government's future with markets reeling on fears that a snap election could derail Lisbon's exit from an international bailout."

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/07/03/us-portugal-crisis-idUSBRE9620...

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:13 | 3718282 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Hey it's only Portugal, ...it's only Egypt,....it's only Greece. it's only Cyprus.... it's only.... feckin' printing !!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:15 | 3718292 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

Commerzbank

Generali 

 

Are both in default

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:17 | 3718305 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

''All we need now is news of a meteor headed straight for Manhattan for the ES to be halted limit up''

 

cried of laughter from this line, because its so true

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:17 | 3718307 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Must close over 15k for the holiday.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:17 | 3718308 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

The New Norm: Bloodshed = Stock Bullishness.

This is really one eff'd up world we have here.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:20 | 3718321 breakyoself
breakyoself's picture

Why don't they ever speak of POMO?

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:21 | 3718329 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

Clearly, the masses have finally learned to buy when there is blood (dog blood even) in the streets.

 

Fuck the Hawthorne PD BTW.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:24 | 3718340 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

But what of the George Zimmerman trial?

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:57 | 3718531 EhKnowKneeMass
EhKnowKneeMass's picture

Don't know much about the George Zimmerman trial, but I can certainly share a few things about the George Costanza trial. It was a festivus miracle.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:26 | 3718356 HowardBeale
HowardBeale's picture

Looks like they doubled the slope of the buy-algo ramp today, due to the shortened hours.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:27 | 3718366 TrumpXVI
TrumpXVI's picture

It's Tuesday!!!

 

Oh wait; IT'S WEDNESDAY!!!!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:29 | 3718376 dcohen
dcohen's picture

Bernankes manipulation money, the more he expands, the better the tools to manipulate

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:29 | 3718378 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Who wouldn't be excited about an Obama-backed Islamofacist regime going under?

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:30 | 3718380 shankster
shankster's picture

This could have been avoided if only the Egyptians had Obama-Care.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:33 | 3718392 dcohen
dcohen's picture

Obama and Dempsey tried to bribe the egyptian military yesterday, it didnt work.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:34 | 3718391 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

The spice will flow! (oil).

More Abram's tanks and F-16's to be sold!

Higher bond rates mean recovering economies!

Who needs jobs!?!?  Credit bitchez!  Debt!  QE to the moon!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:33 | 3718395 ekm
ekm's picture

If you buy a security to sell it to a greater fool, if there are no greater fools left, then you are the greater fool

Seth Klarman

 

 

Prepare for collapse. Anyday, now, any freaking day.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:36 | 3718409 HowardBeale
HowardBeale's picture

The coup is apparently a given; thus, I wonder how the loss to the IMF on its Egypt loans plays into Nicole Foss' inevitable capital destruction and deflation theme, as well as Denninger's reverse leverage trend...

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:39 | 3718433 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

"picture me chilling on the 4th of July

but  if you heard i was celebrating that's aworld wide lie......"

 

independence day in a police state....truly american.........

FUCK ALL BANKERS AND THE BITCH ASS POLITICIANS THEY OWN AND GOVERNMENTS THEY CONTROL...

kiss my mother fucking ass NSa, CIa, FBi.....

bomb, kill, fuck O'bama, kill bernanke....

now mine away you fucking cocksuckers..............

  

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:41 | 3718446 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

I'd stop right at kiss my ass.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:48 | 3718480 HowardBeale
HowardBeale's picture

Just to make you feel a little better: Imagine that a group of immigrants (living in the U.S.) who have dead (murdered by Obama) family members in...pick the country, decide that for the next 60 days they are going to walk into a random branch (or headquarters) of one of the five big Bankster theives and detonate themselves (suicide bomber)...

Frankly, I am surprised it hasn't already happened, as it would surely do at least as much damage as Bin Laden.

Feel better?

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:26 | 3718673 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

I'd stop before replying to this comment....oops!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:42 | 3718448 HowardBeale
HowardBeale's picture

Who are those brave men running in front of those bulldozers to pick up those pennies?

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:43 | 3718450 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Booooooyaaaahhhhh!

 

Lets Partee!!

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 12:54 | 3718510 HowardBeale
HowardBeale's picture

Has anyone seen my 10-year yield? It was lying around down here somewhere--just awhile ago.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:18 | 3718635 starman
starman's picture

ladies and gents the markets are on autopilot 

enjoy the ride

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:20 | 3718643 dcohen
dcohen's picture

Chuck Hagel is in contact with the Egyptian army, trying to do his bullshit

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:20 | 3718644 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

Well, it appears that if the Bad News gets large enough it becomes Good News........and I was just getting used to bad news being just that.....

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:24 | 3718653 pnfteixeira
pnfteixeira's picture

Stay tune, and watch VIX... we have a golden cross MA 50 days with MA 200 days... the last time that happens was in 2011, see the charts

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:23 | 3718662 Praetorian Guard
Praetorian Guard's picture

Saxo Bank informing customers that Portugese govt will fall within 48 hours...

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:25 | 3718668 pnfteixeira
pnfteixeira's picture

I not so sure about that...

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:31 | 3718701 Praetorian Guard
Praetorian Guard's picture

So Saxo is wrong? Why would they issue the warning?

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 18:41 | 3719783 pnfteixeira
pnfteixeira's picture

I live in Lisbon, Portugal and this is a scenario that can happen. But today the Paulo Portas Minister that resigns yesterday, has ALL of the CDS party against him, because of his action. All nows that Paulo Portas Minister put all the portugueses in a worst situation that we are today.

This weekend is the key for this situation. Because the CDS party they want to nomenee a new leader to CDS party and keep in the governmet with Mr. Passos Coelho, the Prime Minister from PSD party.

The atual leader of the CDS party is Paulo Portas.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:26 | 3718677 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

Disappointed I let myself be fooled by today's crap-fest -- I should know by now in low-volume pre-holiday sessions, price action takes precendence over any early tech indicators.  The simple explanation (one of many, I suppose):  everyone wanting to sell based on the "uncertainty" premium did so yesterday and found their "holding" level, so with the dumpers out today and no net new buyers, there was a vacuum, so it was easy for the algos to ramp, either 'cause they found more net shorts early, or simply to prop up their current positions.  While the news wasn't encouraging, it wasn't quite a doomsday scenario so, with good ADP those wanting to play Friday's NFP may have stepped in for the last 40 points or so, even with the ISM data, as the monthy algo play on NFP seems to be the top betters' table.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 13:43 | 3718774 BurningBetty
BurningBetty's picture

Bernanke, Abe and Draghi to banks:

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, KEEP THOSE MARKETS UP!!!"

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 14:44 | 3719064 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Stocks did not "soar" today. The S&P closed one point higher than yesterday. The market price charts are very weak. I maintain my short position in the S&P from 1607.

Wed, 07/03/2013 - 16:11 | 3719392 macambaman
macambaman's picture

No worries, selling can resume on Monday.

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