The 50 Fattest Nations

Tyler Durden's picture

On the day after celebrating its independence and with likely half the nation suffering from over-consumption, we thought it appropriate to 'celebrate' another #winning rank by the US. At an average of 181.27lbs (gender-weighted!), Bloomberg finds that the US is the 'heaviest' nation on earth.



Bloomberg ranked countries based on the weight of an average adult, which is the gender ratio-weighted aggregate of male and female adults.


Weights were calculated by adapting the standard BMI formula: BMI = (weight in pounds / (height in inches x height in inches)) x 703. BMI is an index of weight-to-height used to classify underweight, overweight and obese adults. Average adult BMI data were collected from the World Health Organization.

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Al Huxley's picture

Fuck, finally back on top for something.

ZerOhead's picture

More bad news for Americans...   (if they could actually read)


It is bad for your blood pressure, knocks years off your life and is a strain on your heart. Now scientists have discovered that gaining weight lowers your intelligence.

ACP's picture

Dude, Tyler, gotta highlight the other ones too!

Highest passive (welfare) earners: San Francisco-Oakland-Fremont, CA

Heaviest women: Egypt, 172 lbs (WTF???)

Most Senior Workers: Wash DC (a la Nancy Pelosi - can't can't stop stealin' when the stealin's good!)

Highest Pay for Tech Jobs: Wash DC - (WTF2???)

economics9698's picture

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life."

Obese-Redneck's picture

Go to any famous chain restaraunt today, see the parking lot full of giant shiny 6000cc turbo supercharged diesel phallis wagons, not a spot of mud on them mind you, then watch the patrons waddle in and out and drive 300 yards back home. Country folk can't even walk a country mile anymore.

Taffy Lewis's picture

My favorite move by some of my neighbors is to angle their vehicle when they're coming home and parking in the driveway; they're too fucking fat and lazy to walk the 30 feet from vehicle to mail box, so they run up over the curb so that they can get their mail on the way in. A couple of weeks ago, one guy went too close, knocking the mail box sideways and scraping the side of his truck.

And then there's the neighbors that have small yards like mine who use riding mowers.

U.S.A, U.S.A, U.S.A.

GeezerGeek's picture

You have neighbors who cut their own grass? Why are they being so cruel to all those Mexican landscapers? It's like taking the food out of their mouths.

Something like this actually happened to me, in fact. Retired and a victim of ZIRP, I was outside pushing my lawnmower one day and a truck from a landscaping company drives by and stops. The driver askes if there's any yard work I need done (yes, he had an accent, but so does my Chinese wife). I said no, I do my own yard work, since I need the exercise and would alternatively have to pay someone else to do it and pay for membership in a gym to get exercise. Smiling, the driver simply said I was interfering with his ability to earn an income (my words, not his) and drove off. My final thought was that at least he wasn't lining up for a handout and was willing to work for his money. 

malek's picture

He played the guilt card.
He did so because he learned from experience it works surprisingly often. (And you likely live on the Left Coast, where that is especially true.)

firestarter_916's picture

Actually, they don't line up anymore for handouts, it's wired to their bank accounts then sent back to their home country. They get paid cash at these jobs while also signing up for govt benfits. Immigrants are excellent at this. I'm seeing the Russians getting wise to this as well, sending their kids to Amerika to make money under the table, get student loans to live on and get govt benefits to send home or spend on their Beamers.  The Boston B0mbers did it...and we're too fat and stupid to see us being robbed blind.

Doowleb's picture

We have a public school behind our house.

Every school day there are many cars lined up to drop their kids off. Many are neighbours who live less than half a block away. We see the school bus pick up kids at the end of their lane. The lane is 100 yards long but the parents drive the lane and the kids wait for the bus in the car.

These kids won't be able to tie their own shoes when the mature.

Georgiabelle's picture

Depending on where you live, this might have more to do with safety than with laziness or over-indulgence. We live in a dangerous world and many moms would rather drive their kids to school or to the bus stop than risk that admittedly one-in-a-??? chance of assault or abduction.  I drove my kids to the bus stop because it was around a corner and down a curvy hill and, hence, out of my sightline, not because I thought it was too far to walk. When my son hit 6 feet tall in the 8th grade I started letting him walk with a friend. I drove my daughter through middle school. I always enjoyed my morning taxi duties and found that for some unknown reason the kids were more willing to share info about school, their friends, and their lives in that setting. I can't speak for other "helicopter" moms, but my kids went off to out of state colleges, have good jobs in distant cities, and can definitely tie their own shoes, so I guess they weren't too damaged by my hovering. YMMV.

Carl Spackler's picture

Americans are not fat, we are "Rubenesque."

Al Huxley's picture

Works out well for our modern society though, as being dumber makes all the shit that's on TV a LOT easier to deal with.  How the fuck else are you supposed to sit through, DWTS, The Bachelorette, American Idol, ....

ZerOhead's picture

Point very well taken...

knukles's picture

Or maybe watching the TV makes one dumber....

ThirdWorldDude's picture

You gotta be dumb to stare at the dumb(o)-box which makes you dumber which leads to staring at it even more...

It's a circle jerk sponsored by Uncle Sugar and paid for by your hard-earned fiat. What was that saying again about good intentions leading straight to hell?




Reminded me of an old rhetorical question:

Are people naturally that stupid or have they been training hard?

CH1's picture

Are people naturally that stupid or have they been training hard?

Training. That's what government schools are for.

BLOTTO's picture


Fat Free


Ironic, that the fattest nation on the planet has the most failed (*and a few cases good) diet plans, foods and fads...but to no effect...


Wall-E movie spaceship

Never One Roach's picture

Yeah, they are Huge Money Makers, these diet schemes. I notice even Dr Oz now hypes various weight loss methods, formulas and potions/pills.


I know, I know, they all have "thyroid problems" right? Or need a growth hormone shot?


How about trying cutting back to only 4 Krispy Kreems a day and a small Double Moccha Frappe instead of 3?

OutLookingIn's picture

Sure fire lose weight exercise.

If practised daily is;


thisandthat's picture

But it's bullish for the economy (think about it in terms of energy reserves...)

ChanceIs's picture
Is bad for the the body and bad for the soul
Bad for the heart, bad for the mind,
Bad for the deaf, and bad for the blind

Makes some men crazy and then they act like fools
Makes some men crazy, and then they start to drool

Unscrupulous operators could confuse
Could exploit and deceive
Conditional reflex theories and changing probabilities
It's a crass and raucous crackass place
It's a plague upon the the human race
It's a terrible illness, it's a terrible case
And it's usually permanent when it takes place

It's a teenage nervous breakdown
It's a teenage nervous breakdown
Little Feat circa 1977    Query for the board (and SOTUS Chief Justice John Roberts):  Under ObamaCare hasn't one's body effectively become public property?  So getting fat is a little like defacing buses, train stations, etc with "graffiti."  Don't I, as an individual and taxpayer, have a say over how you maintain your body?  Isn't it a little like a condo association - where if you paint your condo pink when the rules say only white is allowed you can get sued in civil court?  So according to our namesake, can't we have our children snoop on these "waistline challenged" fellow citizens, report them to the "fat police," seize their persons, and send them to weight reduction camp for a month or so - for the good of the commune, the collective.  You know - "we are the Borg, resistence is futile."

max2205's picture

All part of the plan to reduce future burden on welfare and soc sec payouts...long coffins

GeezerGeek's picture

I know what you meant by 'long coffins', but in this case, perhaps 'long wide coffins' would be more appropriate.

Never One Roach's picture

Charts make my Brain hurt, Tyler.

Is there a audio version?

Dingleberry's picture

We would probably win first place for tattoos also. 

stocktivity's picture

Pretty soon the ones without tattoos will stick out and look cool....unless they're one of the over weights.

Bastiat's picture

Obesity creates more tattoo surface.

AGuy's picture

lets all chant:

USA #1! USA #1!

Sorry could not resist.


benjamin_1114's picture

181.5, that's it? I eat a McDonald's 4 times a year. Stopped there on my way to my parents so my kids could play in their shitty, dirty, disgusting play land for 15-20 minutes. What a bunch of fat disgusting fucks were there. Want to fix the fat problem in America? Tax fast food, soda, everything with high fructose corn syrup (my old man farms corn/soybeans and is fine getting rid of ethanol/ high fructose corn syrup even though it destroys prices) and cigarettes. Legalize pot, it's better for you than alcohol.

Ballin D's picture

I agree with everything you said except this: 

>"Want to fix the fat problem in America? Tax fast food, soda, everything with high fructose corn syrup "

Lets be honest, social controls at the federal level have never worked as intended. The obesity problem is very likely related to our intervention... outlawing risk based health insurance (heffers paying the same as me), govt meddling in agriculture based on lobbyist and corporate interests, and generally babying adults at every turn. If you dont give people the responsibility to own their own lives they will act like children. We've all had overbearing bosses that have ruined teams trying to control every action. It never works.

ZerOhead's picture

He ain't heavy... he's my brother... and cousin... and sister...

McMolotov's picture

Don't leave out the children.

Any time I'm in my kids' school, I take note of how many enormous children there are. It's frightening. Kids were never that size when I was younger, and I'm not old by any means (mid 30s). The parents are enormous, too — men and women in their 30s and 40s limping because they're so heavy that they've already wrecked their knees.

We think health care is expensive now, but just wait a decade or two. It'll be off the charts.

Whatta's picture

I'm 55...but looking back through old grade school class photos is very telling.

Almost every kid back then was thin as a piece of bacon. And teachers as well. No sodas or candy allowed in school. No fast food joints around, no HFCS.....just a bunch of gangly kids that ran at recess, road bikes, etc.


Parrotile's picture

Cycle or walk to school: NO School Buses.

If you're cycling, you HAD to learn the Road Rules - 'cause you're the one who will be injured in any collision - your fault or not.

So, from the start we had a good grasp of basic road safety. Maybe you have "rights", but you better believe you had a whole more responsibilities too - which made fro a "safety first" mindset. Add in the fact that you WILL be stopped if you are riding a bike at night with poor or absent lights (and your Parents WILL be fined), so people learnt responsible behaviour in a very practical way.

Seven years secondary education, school on the intersection of a pair of busy roads (one a major highway, one a busy feeder road). NO "School Zones" so everyone learns to WAIT.

For a school of 450 pupils, in those seven years we NEVER had a SINGLE fatality. Only THREE significant accidents (broken arms / legs ) in that time.


Scro's picture

America #1 hell ya

ZerOhead's picture

#1 with a burrito...

HelluvaEngineer's picture

..coming again to save the motherfuckin' day yeah


HelluvaEngineer's picture

It's the GMO.  It's the damn corn syrup in all the EBT-class foods.  But most importantly, it the total lack of vitamins and minerals in all of our foods, which compel us to eat salty crap to convince our bodies that we are getting basic nutrients.

Al Huxley's picture

Might also be all those 32 oz sodas and 3/4 lb burgers, double cheese, double bacon, extra large fries,....  You know, I remember a time when, if Type 2 diabetes even existed, nobody had ever heard of it.

Turin Turambar's picture

Al, it's not the burgers. It's the amylopectin A in wheat. It's got a ridiculously high glycemic index which results in a blood sugar spike followed by insulin surge and then lots of storage as belly fat. This is in addition to the production of AGEs, exorphins, plus everybody's favorite immunologic trigger - glutin. Worst of all, the wheat is ubiquitous, especially in processed foods.

Al Huxley's picture

Yeah, as I said below, I agree with the general thesis of the book, that the new strains of wheat contribute to the problem, coupled with the fact that it's in everything.  But I'd say it's pretty undeniable that the average caloric intake now is a LOT higher than it used to be (and the quality of those calories is a lot worse - low complexity sugars, processed fats, etc.) than even 30 years ago.  Wheat's changed a lot in 100 years, but the modern hybrids have been around since the 50's and 60's or earlier, and the bulk of the weight problems have developed over the past 25 years.

Scro's picture

It's not how much you eat, it's what you eat. I'm down 32lbs from dec 7th 2012 (10 to go). I generally follow Dr. McDougall (vegetarian). I tried to eat some Mexican food and it made me sick for 3 days.

Y'all will have to take up the slack.

bornlastnight's picture

Down 32 lbs?  Lucky you.  I went on a two week diet once but all I lost was 14 days.

Socratic Dog's picture

500 fucking opinions on what the problem is.  All probably wrong.

My money is on it being the carbs.  Cut the starches and sugars out.  Get most of your calories from fat.  It works, well, it did for me.  And the studies are in now to prove it.  Not that they should be needed, this was common knowledge until about 50 years ago.

Look up some of Gary Taubes' writings, he presents a convincing case.

Fucking government, and dieticians, and doctors, tell us the opposite, carbs should be the basis of our diets.  Any good ZH'er should know that automatically means it's wrong.


MachoMan's picture

Do you even lift, bro?

(carbs are good for some people)

malek's picture

Yours probably wrong too.

Eating lots of sugary stuff all my life. And drinking mostly apple juice when I was a kid (fruit sugars!), sodas when I grew up (in a country where they don't use HFCS).
Was told by my grandparents I will get diabetes. As no one in my family had that except one grandmother at old age, I silently laugh at it.

Now living in the US for a number of years, drinking HFCS stuff. No difference to beet sugared sodas that I can detect in my weight, propensity to gain weight, or otherwise.
My BMI never was over 25 in my life.

Since I turned 35 I need to consciously watch a bit how much I eat, which mainly means don't eat anything until I am really hungry (light stomach growling).
I'm still getting my energy mostly from carbs.

Al Huxley's picture

Yes, true.  But it's also because it's really fucking hard to eat 3000 calories worth of vegetables, but a burger fries and a milkshake will give you that and you won't even notice it until 20 minutes later.  Also true about the body adapting to whatever it's being fed.  When I'm eating better, I find the fatty stuff makes me feel like shit, but if I eat it for a few days, it becomes the norm.  Our bodies are amazingly adaptable that way....

thisandthat's picture

Oh, you all - just shut up and eat your hot dog(s)...

Scro's picture

I have a small salad at dinner. Most of the time I eat red beans and rice covered in hot sauce or a baked potato with lentil chili on top. Taste great and very filling.

I lost weight because I want to stay out of the health care system as long as I can. It's also easier to hike, ride my motorcycle ect w/o the weight.