As Egypt Re-Coups And Cairo Violence Escalates, The US Secretary Of State Is...

Tyler Durden's picture


As the escalation in violence between members of the pro-Mursi Muslim Brotherhood and the military-backed victors of this week's coup gets worse with at least 6 dead now according to Al Arabiya, the US Secretary of State is busy...

a) Getting debriefed and preparing for a diplomatic statement

b) In the air between point A and point B promoting US domestic and foreign interests abroad

c) Informing Warren Buffett about the aphrodisiac benefits of ketchup

d) Spending a (second consecutive) exhausting afternoon on his sailboat.

And the correct answer is... D

From the Weekly Standard

John Kerry, whose State Department office denied he had been out on his boat until picture proof emerged, is back out there today. A CBS producer catches him aboard Isabel:


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Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:05 | 3724376 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Shit I went with C.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:10 | 3724390 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

See, I went with shit (d) and got it right.

John Kerry walks into a bar...

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:15 | 3724404 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Now now Ouinounou.... now now....

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:21 | 3724422 malikai
malikai's picture

John Kerry walks into a bar..

..everyone in the bar leaves.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:25 | 3724437 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

thank god this douche bag is on his boat and not involved in any critical thinking that could foch this up even worse.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:30 | 3724459 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Those boats are still floating... So obvioulsy Lerch isn't a 'stacker'...

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:00 | 3724567 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

why is the main sail reefed in a two knot breeze?  fake pussy in his swift boat.  maybe if he threw some of those purple hearts to leeward he could make some real headway...

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:07 | 3724615 Pool Shark
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And to add insult to injury; he tried to stiff his state on half a million in taxes on said yacht:


Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:14 | 3724639 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Silly Tyler, everyone knows that the answer is ALWAYS C, unless D is "All of the above."

I think Kerry's gonna wish his boat was a little swifter.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:24 | 3724686 DollarMenu
DollarMenu's picture

Looks like that trip to Tel Aviv went against them.

Posted pics a bit of tit for tat?

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 17:01 | 3724804 ACP
ACP's picture

Another quick observation:

1) CEO of BP goes yachting during crisis ----------------------> MSM goes apeshit.

2) John Kerry goes yachting during crisis ----------------------> MSM does everything it can to suppress this information.


Fri, 07/05/2013 - 18:28 | 3725050 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

My own word cloud:

Kerry-buffoon-moron-assclown-Biden-idiot-jerkoff-retard-bonehead-cretin-dimwit-dork-dumb ass-dunce-fool-ignoramus-imbecile-kook-shithead-nincompoop-nitwit-pinhead-simpleton-stupid-brain dead-kick me-liar-douche

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 18:42 | 3725096 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Ahhh! The propaganda media. Where understanding what they're ignoring is as important as understanding what they are concentrating on.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 21:17 | 3725478 Taku
Taku's picture

Totally disgusting.

"State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki issued a statement Wednesday saying “any report or tweet that he was on a boat is completely inaccurate.” "


Sat, 07/06/2013 - 05:19 | 3725993 Kobe Beef
Kobe Beef's picture

Anybody know yet where Hillary and The TOTUS were during Benghazi?

I share your disgust. All lies, all the time.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:37 | 3724674 Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

Kerry chilling on his boat is better than having Hayzaboon Hillary at the helm. Were she still running the State Dept some unfortunate American might get whacked accidentally-on-purpose and then she'd have another fall and hit her head and suffer amnesia forcing her spokeswoman to dream up some implausible BS story.  The MSM, true to form, would fail to report any of it except Andrew Ross Sorkin who would try and blame the whole debacle on Edward Snowden.


Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:18 | 3724650 darteaus
darteaus's picture

He's running the motor, and he doesn't want the wind to move the boom so he doesn't get knocked overboard.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:56 | 3724579 TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

How long before Moshey accidentally drowns in 2 inches of water, with 2 self inflicted bullet holes in the back of his head?

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:32 | 3724464 ACP
ACP's picture

Speaking of douche bags, here's Kerry the douche bag carrying one of his douche bags on his way to his yacht, his horse face all the while having an "oh shit, I've been busted" expression.


Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:39 | 3724498 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Where's a Typhoon when you need one?

Sat, 07/06/2013 - 08:00 | 3726060 Jumbotron
Sat, 07/06/2013 - 08:43 | 3726117 Jake88
Jake88's picture

Please. None of these douche bags do any thinking. They just say and do what they are told.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:25 | 3724438 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

e) chewing on grass in a pasture, swishing his tail at flies.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:56 | 3724580 zuuma
zuuma's picture

... and completely unaware when a poop comes along.

The tail just goes up, etc ,etc...


back to chewing, swatting flies.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:04 | 3724611 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

The both of you are insulting the noble quadruped.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:53 | 3724784 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

And ungulates generally.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:00 | 3724599 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

If his name was Incitatus he might just be in the Senate... being fed oats mixed with gold flakes (and ketchup).

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:33 | 3724470 ISEEIT
ISEEIT's picture

And once their gone all the commies walk in and it's party time!


Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:29 | 3724664 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

John Kerry and Sarah Jessica Parker are sitting at a bar, giggling and playfully slapping at each other. Bartender looks over at them at says "Hey you two, quit horsing around!"


John Kerry at the presser on Egypt is asked "Are you keeping up with the situation Mr. Kerry?"  He replies, "Of course, of course!"


After just 10 minutes at the Egypt presser, Mr. Kerry asks an aide to explain his leaving early and walks off.  The aide says "I hope you excuse his early departure, he was a bit horse..."

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 17:02 | 3724808 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


John Kerry and Sarah Jessica Parker are sitting at a bar, giggling and playfully slapping at each other. Bartender looks over at them at says "Hey you two, quit horsing around!"

Good Scrotie McBoogerballs reference. +1

John Kerry at the presser on Egypt is asked "Are you keeping up with the situation Mr. Kerry?"  He replies, "Of course, of course!"


After just 10 minutes at the Egypt presser, Mr. Kerry asks an aide to explain his leaving early and walks off.  The aide says "I hope you excuse his early departure, he was a bit horse..."

...caused by a poorly fitting horse bit.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 18:26 | 3725043 discopimp
discopimp's picture

Reproting for work sirs - after again guessinG the right answer for what a pysho would do yet again!!!>.. I was done jerking off in a corner and will know join the boys for the fitght - "...gotza hair on my nutz"... my thought about this article:

Lying right to the face of the American Public - Even when liars don't have to lie they still lie, lying for them is a normal as breathing.  



as you can see brosing far to long...who wants to be my FEMA bunk mate?

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Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:17 | 3724411 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Undoubtably he has a cell phone with Uncle Warren's number programmed in.  They say anything goes with ketchup - or is that castsup - so I assume that means sailing too.



Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:19 | 3724420 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Casting from a ketch. Yup, it all makes 57 kinds of sense.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:41 | 3724514 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Seriously, if john Fucking Kerry was dead would it make any difference?

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:57 | 3724553 sgorem
sgorem's picture

+1..."if J.F.K. were dead, would it make any difference?".....more than likely it would make alot of people crack open the champagne, no? cheers.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:21 | 3724667 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

It would if you were a thirsty horse fly...

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 17:11 | 3724832 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

One less small eyed, fuckheaded, horse faced Herman Munster in the world would likely yield some small net benefit.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:55 | 3724574 DosZap
DosZap's picture

I loved it, Morsi gone, BIG O calls an EMERGENCY meeting, he say's oh hell!!!, da bra hood is in deep caca(Just lost a Sharia state!).Well least we still got Lybia for da bras.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:00 | 3724596 Cindy_Dies_In_T...
Cindy_Dies_In_The_End's picture

Of Course D, that dude keeps going " off the reservation " and saying all kinds of freaky things Valerie Jarrett has to walk back. You guys know how ridiculously um methodic Obama is. He has to ponder all of this for several weeks...

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:08 | 3724620 monoloco
monoloco's picture

We'll be better off if he stays on that boat and keeps our nose out of middle east affairs.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:24 | 3724683 Boondocker
Boondocker's picture

Bracing for Theresa with a strap on?

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 21:50 | 3725592 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Nero (Kerry) fiddled (went 'yachting') while Rome (Cairo) burned (burned).

Teresa (pronounced 'THEREZA') prolly reminded him of what happened to Senator John Heinz (an unfortunate plane accident), so he figured he was safer on his little boat, instead of flying around and talking 'diplomatically' (Fred Gwynne was no diplomat, but at least Herman Munster spoke up once in a while!).


What do 35 million Egyptians have that Kerry (or most American males) don't?

The BALLS to overthrow a bankster-installed DICTATOR IN THEIR OWN NATION! Not that Soetoro is a 'dick-tater' or anything...

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 22:08 | 3725633 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

I would have guessed E.) Scouring YouTube looking for the reason behind the re-revolt in Egypt.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:06 | 3724377 RacerX
RacerX's picture

Ah all is right in the world.

Steady as she goes Captain Kerry.

PS: Oops, I cheated.. already knew the answer.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:14 | 3724393 Rusticus
Rusticus's picture

Not to worry. The State Department is set on autopilot.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:22 | 3724424 RacerX
RacerX's picture

I am imagining the "Grey Poupon" ad, except in this case it would be "please pass the Heinz ketchup"

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:34 | 3724474 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

What difference does it make?

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:53 | 3724571 sgorem
sgorem's picture

the State Department wrote the script for this whole act. they planned, set in motion, and know the final act. all bought and paid for with fiat 2 infinity. that's where we find ourselves in todays soap opera.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 16:18 | 3724654 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

You've obviously never spent any time around government employees, it seems.

Like the rest of their "work" I'm sure the script was written by a friendly neighborhood think-tank.

TPTB aren't stupid enough to have to rely upon clueless facade polishers to do real work.

Fri, 07/05/2013 - 15:06 | 3724379 ALANBEEKMAN

I'm speechless....

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