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CNBC Viewership Collapse Continues; Cramer, Kudlow Audience At Record Lows

Tyler Durden's picture


What can be said here that we haven't said countless times before? If the braintrust behind Comcast's acquisition of the CNBC package deal, not to mention assorted increasingly more desperate CNBC producers, had hoped that an artificial "wealth effect" created under a central planning world would lead to greater viewership, more retail stock market participation, and better advertising terms (not to mention revenues), they were wrong. Very, very wrong.

The Nielsen rating of CNBC's business day audience:

Adding insult to the injury that is laughable total business day viewership back to only 2005 levels (and back to 1994 levels, when the bulk of today's traders weren't even born, in the demo) despite countless promo dollars, endless schmoozathons with the 0.01%ers, and trillions in dollars spent on bailing out fake and artificial markets and thus the TV channels covering them, were the following data points from Nielsen Media:

  • Squawk Box had its lowest rated month since August 2005. Seemingly not even Joe Kernen's caustic wit, impeccable sarcasm, conspicuous coiffe and wry humor (if only in his own mind) and ARS' access journalistic "skills" are enough to unsink this particular Titanic
  • Squawk on the Street had its lowest rated quarter and second lowest rated month ever
  • Kudlow Report had its lowest ever rated month and quarter ever. Not even King Dollar can save Larry
  • Mad Money had its lowest ever rated month and quarter ever. Sorry Jim: maybe stick to your hedge fund. Oh wait

The biggest irony, of course, is that to regain the lost viewership, CNBC needs precisely the kind of Bernanke-free volatility and real, unmanipulated markets that it itself preaches against every single day.

Oh well: it's been fun.


Thanks to observent readers, we just learned that none other than the abovementioned Larry Kudlow, alongside Deutsche's Joe LaVorgna, best known for such empirical studies as Groundhog Phil vs. Joe LaVorgna, and Joe LaVorgna vs Randomness, And Randomness Wins, decided to counter our argument (first noted here in December 2010) that the American New Normal is a part-time one, something which even the USA Today admitted yesterday.

We will let readers watch the clip below, which concluded with CNBC inviting Zero Hedge to participate on CNBC. While we appreciate the offer, the last thing we intend to do is i) to boost assorted Comcast TV properties' record low ratings, and ii) suffer Mr. Kudlow the same fate as that experienced by his predecessor Dennis Kneale who also invited Zero Hedge on his laughable excuse for a show in 2009, only to be sacked a few months later.

Finally, unlike various slideshow-heavy, Preferred Round ZZ financial tabloids, we have no use for CNBC or appearances thereon.


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Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:05 | 3732259 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

The ultimate goal is "negative viewership"...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:05 | 3732261 prains
prains's picture

American Zero

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:06 | 3732266 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I'm thinking with that kind of 'talent' they should go the AL GORE or OPRAH route & start their own network...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:16 | 3732283 knukles
knukles's picture

Hey, to correct the problem, they announced the other day that they were going to "TINKER" with the prime time lineup... by offering Reality Shows...


maniacal laughter
Oh, fuck me....


One's gonna be called "Buy the Fucking Dip" (about selling the mentally handicapped into slavery)
Another "They'll Never Go Down"  ( I'm not even going to try to comment)
A third is "It's Different This Time" (About transvestites)

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:18 | 3732305 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

"to regain the lost viewership, CNBC needs precisely the kind of Bernanke-free volatility and real, unmanipulated markets that it itself preaches against every single day"

Well, that might happen after the 10 - 15 years of war and strife that are sure to break out when this thing crashes.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:28 | 3732316 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I haven't watched that channel in a couple of years... But if Mandy Drury would come on topless ~ I'd watch... I'd even watch a topless Becky "bee stings" [just for a few seconds] until the toast popped up if the timing happened to be coincidental [as long as she wasn't on Warren's jock, that is... cause that would gross me out]...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:33 | 3732360 ACP
ACP's picture

Or their newest Stock Bunny Seema.

Maybe they should take a look at all the unbelievably stupid zero-substance 'news' they have every day.

"The traders says we're down 300 points because there are more sellers than buyers." Genius.

"Sell in May? Do we sell in May? Everybody says sell in May! Better sell in May!" NOT.

And of course, the ever-idiotic "INSTANT ANALYSIS" of whatever metrics happen to be out that day.

Even the sheepiest of sheep can start seeing through that.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:50 | 3732435 fonestar
fonestar's picture

More and more gen Y =< millennials are just finding the cost of basic cable could be better spent elsewhere (see public internet).

Or at the very least, $100 might get you fucked hard rather than fucked softly while enduring Maria's whispers.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:01 | 3732475 malikai
malikai's picture

The hedge fund of tomorrow:

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:05 | 3732501 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

I like Joe Kiernan....erudite....inciteful...and least relative to a steaming pile of horseshit

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:15 | 3732546 akak
akak's picture

At least the horseshit could be useful in fertilizing my garden ---- whereas Joe would just be one more unnecessary and potentially destructive worm.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:34 | 3732598 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Here's an idea CNBC:  Cramer lives inside a cardboard box in The Bowery or "somewhere in Detroit" for a week. He could short cigarettes and go long Night Train.  Who wouldn't flip him a quarter?  We would definitely tune in for that.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:47 | 3732630 BC6
BC6's picture

I scrolled to the comments to give some green to a "Fuck You Cramer" post and one didn't exist!



Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:58 | 3732653 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Instead of broadcasting from the NYSE, the should move to Scores.  Just set up a table next to the platform with the brass poles.  Easy access to Wall St. insiders (they are all there anyway). 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 23:17 | 3733098 Lore
Lore's picture

It would do my heart good to see Cramer panhandling someday. I'm ashamed to say that I listened to that SOB once, and the memory still burns.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 00:17 | 3733218 markmotive
markmotive's picture

Peak MSM?

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 08:30 | 3733589 Kiwi Pete
Kiwi Pete's picture

Here's the link to the Cramer "Bear Stearns is fine" video from 3/11/08 - the day before they went bust. It's blocked in NZ but you guys might be able to view it. Commedy Gold

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:36 | 3732602 philipat
philipat's picture

Hopefully, that also means we will soon be rid of faux economist LIESman and all his PC BS spin on the numbers.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:47 | 3732628 Dick Buttkiss
Dick Buttkiss's picture

Kudlow juth neeth to start drinking again, and the trooth will come out.

Workths for me.

The state can kith my ath.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:50 | 3732636 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

I gotta stick up for Steve Liesman, he is sorta cute, and I would love to rub his bald head and knead his belly fat.  Mark Zandi on the other hand is a smarmy looking fellow and not cute at all.

So I will continue to watch CNBC and fantasize about Steve naked and available for my naughty advances.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:32 | 3732595 pods
pods's picture

Wow, i give credit to everyone that can stomach that shit. I got about halfway through that video and that is all I could take. 
Smarmy moneychangers do that to me.

Must be nice to live off the skim.


Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:45 | 3732621 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Did you make it to the 1:30 mark?

"Larry, ZeroHedge, unfortunately, is really bad at reporting facts."
-- Joe Lavorgna

Now that's comedy gold.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:58 | 3732652 pods
pods's picture

Then the pompous ass went on to NOT refute the numbers and take a shot at TD.  Basically only believe the numbers when they are good.  

No wonder these people live in gated communities, they would get their pearly white teeth kicked in too much if they lived in the real world.



Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:10 | 3732683 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

pods, nay to worry, as of now the video is "not available".

I'm thinkin' that the laughter got above 103 dB and the pain threshold was triggered.

- Ned

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 23:06 | 3733064 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

We will all have the last laugh motherfuckers

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 22:24 | 3732915 greyghost
greyghost's picture

so does anyone really think that fox business is any better? i switched years ago and now don't watch either. both just talk shit...endlessly.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:31 | 3732363 flacon
flacon's picture

America is becoming down right scary:


Obama Supporters Sign Petition to Repeal the BILL OF RIGHTS



Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:51 | 3732443 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Paging... Lauren Lyster to the set, please.  I could watch her read Archie comics (with the sound off, of course).

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:58 | 3732465 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

ahhh........those legs..............

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:00 | 3732482 resurger
resurger's picture


Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:45 | 3732622 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

My apologies to Flacon.. my reply wasn't meant for your post.  Your link is a 'must see to believe.'  We're fucked. 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:08 | 3732512 Ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is bliss's picture

I'd pay conmcast for moar if she did her interviews tastefully naked. 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:19 | 3732553 Death By Cold S...
Death By Cold Steel Report's picture

This country is gone as of its current state. 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:41 | 3732610 Better_late_tha...
Better_late_than_never's picture

ZH'er at 3:35 in that video.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:53 | 3732451 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Ever notice how virtually every expert they have seems to be cheesepope?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:59 | 3732476 akak
akak's picture

You know, I am still puzzled by these constant references to "cheesepopes".

Where the Hell did that word come from, and what does it mean already?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:13 | 3732536 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

mixed league softball team...


Now we return you back to your regularly scheduled jiewing...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:15 | 3732545 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

I am under the impression it's a random softball team name from years ago but is being used as shorthand for jews under the new and improved TOS.

Back in the day we had a flag football team named Well Hung Jury and Sausage In A Box.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:50 | 3732633 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Come on now... Why would it EVER... POSSIBLY... be incumbent on people to use 'shorthand' when talking about jews?...


That's just another one of those silly 'Conspiracy Theories'...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:04 | 3732667 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

My intramural hoop team in college was called the Cunning Runts. We played the Natalie Wood Swim Club.

True story.


Tue, 07/09/2013 - 00:05 | 3733201 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Watch out for "The Floating Air Biscuits!"

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:04 | 3732668 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

we always just went with DeezNuts....

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 22:54 | 3733019 Midas
Midas's picture

I know of an ultimate frisbee team called "the felcher snatchers."   I thought it was too much.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:52 | 3732644 CH1
CH1's picture

You know, I am still puzzled by these constant references to "cheesepopes".

Tyler won't let them say Jew anymore, so this is how they continue with their obsession.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:02 | 3732662 akak
akak's picture

Thanks for the clarification.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 22:20 | 3732901 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

You can 'BLAME' the conclave of the 'Luciferian Anti-Defamation League' [in Switzerland] on that one...


Who ~ Like ALL the 'Legislative ANTI-SHORTSELLERS OF BANK STOCKS'... Put the final stamp on how the future would unfold...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:21 | 3732313 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Tinker?  80% of all BlowHorn staff needs to be that they have expended whatever credibility any of them had by centering all commentary, in all hours, around central banker speak as a proxy for investing.  The entire network is in shambles.  Way to go COMCAST!  Way to take all those dead canary personalities as is...and do nothing to turn the ship.

Seriously, how long can Closing Bell continue...when most of the commentary there is literally "buy on the dip mentality" or "where else ya gonna put your money?"  Talk about programming that is in dismal shape.

Sell COMCAST shares until further notice...or somebody in management grows a pair.  

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:46 | 3732420 max2205
max2205's picture

Liesman was the last straw for me....

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:19 | 3732550 akak
akak's picture

And a fat, bald, particularly stupid straw at that.

You know, if CBNC ever decides to replace LIESman, I hear that Jon Nadler is still unemployed ....

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:03 | 3732657 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Somebody tell me if I'm wrong here.  I saw the video as it aired and it certainly looked like the conclusion drawn on the Crappy Kudlow Show was the EXACT conclusion that was drawn in the ZH article that was pilloried so vigorously.   We are getting crappy jobs -- period.

As for the other "personalities" in the CNBC lineup, I find fault with them all to some degree or another.  I do have the station on while working and will turn up the volume for Santelli, even if he seems to waffle now and then on his stances.   Where is his former outrage?  Maybe he sees the writing on the wall, just as Dylan Ratigan did.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 23:05 | 3733061 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Where is his former outrage? You guys keep forgetting about the NSA recordings and how they can use them.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:47 | 3732626 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Who wants to watch a network about day-trading when even the dullest knife in the drawer now knows the Quants, Algos and HFT shops rule the intra-day (and the illegally-well-connected have the data LONG before they do)?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:23 | 3732315 spine001
spine001's picture

CNBC ratings. Can you imagine the viewership that a ZH channel that gathered truth tellers and financial experts having real discussions about the economy worldwide? I'd be glued. And, if it had the opportunity of live comments by the viewers and buttons for approval or dissaproval of the comments being made by the talking heads. WOW, I am dreaming now.

I am so frustrated with hearing BS on TV that I contacted an old classmate of mine who is now a director at TURNER and gave him the idea to add a place on the screen of all talking shows where people could upvote or downvote speakers as they present arguments.

Will we see this in our lifetiime? i don't know but it definitively is technologicaly very feasible today and cheap to implement.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:31 | 3732358 The Master
The Master's picture

I hit the refresh button for ZH like a crack fiend as it is.  I think a ZH Channel might kill me but bring it on!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:58 | 3732466 fonestar
fonestar's picture

According to the regular five posters (using ten login names each) on, Zerohedge is "not a credible news source".

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:55 | 3732646 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Right........ Zerohedge is an INCREDIBLE news source..

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 07:05 | 3733496 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

there are too many honest people - that is CNBC's main problem - as long as the crimes of .gov and wall street and international banks are glossed over, as long as presenting a true picture of the Fed and money and debt creation are not #1 on any so called finance network- those of us who have ethics will not watch..crimes gone un reported and a DOJ/SEC coopted is the #1 issue and it's is never a topic of the MSM.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:38 | 3732394 resurger
resurger's picture

Like BloomBerg or CNBC you need your comments to be approved before they actually get posted, WHAT A FUCKING BULLSHIT!


Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:08 | 3732513 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

NO WONDER I'm not getting my comments published!! Now I know why...I guess they didn't like my recommendation for Mandy to wear a thong.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:26 | 3732335 Fredo Corleone
Fredo Corleone's picture

Ah, yes. The trouble with CNBC's ratings...Comcast, alas - where, oh where do they go from here ?

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here ?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don't much care where –" said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.
"– so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation.

- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland."

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:37 | 3732385 Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

cnBS --- I just had to let it go.


JOHN LENNON Watching the Wheels

People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I'm o.k. well they look at me kind of strange
Surely you're not happy now you no longer play the game

People say I'm lazy dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall
Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go

Ah, people asking questions lost in confusion
Well I tell them there's no problem, only solutions
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry
I'm just sitting here doing time

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:45 | 3732397 Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

a personal favorite


The Limerick King

Kernan's an arrogant ass

Elite, condescending & crass

A puppet, a shill

He's high on blue pill

A moron in need of some class

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:14 | 3732541 rocker
rocker's picture

Did you ever see his narcissistic biography done for the CNBC World Commercial ? 

 Joe Kernen can’t stand his own words so much he looks like he is that constipated from being a boy toy for TPTB.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:14 | 3732696 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

The bottom for the whole network was when Kernan brought his daughter on to pimp "her" new book.  She was saccharin sweet to an extreme.  Obviously preened and prompted by some media guru for public appearance.  It was embarrassing.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:27 | 3732736 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

Obama will bail them out, but they have to hit the wall first.


Mon, 07/08/2013 - 23:52 | 3733177 hairball48
hairball48's picture


Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:15 | 3732296 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

We're off the lows..., not.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:38 | 3732374 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

The old stuff just goes over the falls, never to return, whether called own network no matter. In the real world it's called "The Beach". Not so bad if you dig shorebirds. The smart people just got over 14 hrs of raw daily show about the nothing which is worth observing in solitude but not in your ear by the like of vain egomaniacs, having failed to earn a living biochemists who then failed to earn a porsche at stockbrokering so now  is a genie us. You can only  laugh 'till you puke so much before the nerve plays dead and it's like somemeds on drip.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:45 | 3732404 Freddie
Freddie's picture

TV and Hollywood is for retards who enjoy being sheep and serving O and The Matrix.  If you watch it - you support this shit.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:23 | 3732724 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Are you saying everything is shit on the internet as well, Freddie?  All media sources have value if one is discerning.  I'd say that anyone who dismisses an entire industry because of some admittedly very bad elements is short-sighted, narrow-minded, and just as much a retard.

So, there ya have it.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 00:10 | 3733208 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I score that round as going to Rocky!

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 01:09 | 3733275 Bringin It
Bringin It's picture

Leaving the tin-foil hat aside for the moment, TV is passive viewing.  People sit, vege and get indoctrinated by specialists in the field.  They are helplessly outgunned.

Web surfing is much more pro-active. There are a bazillion different links, which are really different, unlike the 130 cable channels with nothing really on most of them, many of them copies, etc. 

Forces are trying to make the Web the same, but for now, we're not there.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 20:32 | 3735760 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

I think we get two completely different sets of channels, dude.

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 02:37 | 3747695 Bringin It
Bringin It's picture

I stopped getting any channels of the MSM a long time ago.
But, open up Rocky. What are you channeling?

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 09:35 | 3733743 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Rocky - do you have a reading comprehension issue?  I said TV and Hollywood.  Where did I say internet?  If it is a web site from the scum from TV and Hollywood - it is the same crap. 

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 20:34 | 3735764 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Comprehension is not a problem here, Freddie.  I was using the internet as an example of "media" that is fraught with its own set of problems.   "TV" is what you make of it.  It's a broad field.

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 02:44 | 3747703 Bringin It
Bringin It's picture

- "TV" is what you make of it.  It's a broad field.

For what it's worth, I disagree.   On both points.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:16 | 3732297 lordbyroniv
lordbyroniv's picture

I was never any good at the rigged carnival games.  Damn car people!!!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:17 | 3732301 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

CNBC and CNN have become tragedy television only. When a plane crashes, a brown person bombs a marathon or the Dow drops 500; I'm tuning in. Otherwise, it just a bunch of empty-headed puppets jabbering on and I ignore them both.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:24 | 3732319 Renfield
Renfield's picture

I don't even tune in for those anymore. Sick of hearing the wrong people get blamed and watching the gov propaganda peeps turn to their tattered and over-used "Never Waste A Crisis" playbook.

Then again, I hate the MSM with the fire of a thousand suns, so I might be a tad bit biased. Your mileage may vary.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:31 | 3732359 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Erin Burnett got "promoted" from CNBS to CNN... Nuff said...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:57 | 3732651 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

That's like being promoted from shit shoveler to honey dipper.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 08:42 | 3733611 jayman21
jayman21's picture

Cannot forget the hero narrative.....if I had a nickel

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:22 | 3732317 ejmoosa
ejmoosa's picture

They beat expectations!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:25 | 3732329 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Brian Roberts does have pointy ears, have you noticed?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:26 | 3732339 lordbyroniv
lordbyroniv's picture



who here likes big titties!?!?!?!?!?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:28 | 3732345 resurger
resurger's picture

Amen to that FS

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:36 | 3732379 HaroldWang
HaroldWang's picture

Kudlow talking about ZH right now with LaVorgne. Ol Joe is trashing ZH saying they're terrible at getting facts straight.

See what happens when you talk about CNBC, ZH, they bring out the Big Guns! LOL!!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:45 | 3732416 Tyler Durden
Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:50 | 3732438 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

Tyler- larry said he wanted you on the show.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:10 | 3732524 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

why would TD stoop so low to show up on there?? that would only help their ratings....F those Fers.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:24 | 3732552 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture
Phil: I'm a god — I'm not the God, I don't think.

Rita: Because you survived a car wreck?
Phil: I didn't just survive a wreck; I wasn't just blown up yesterday. I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted and burned.
Rita: Oh really?
Phil: [nods] Every morning I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender: I am an immortal.
Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:27 | 3732738 Prometheus418
Prometheus418's picture


Not much is really private these days, and even though I'm smarter than the average bear, I have no doubt that 10-15% of the readers of this site can rip through my flimsy veil and expose most aspects of my life in short order- or maybe not.  There are a few red herrings here and there that muddy the water, once I checked.  (Though if you can, I would appreciate some discretion.)

Not so much with TD or the TDs.  I'll admit, I haven't spent much time on the question, as I respect his/thier privacy, but identification certainly isn't as easy as a quick google search.  

I see no reason for the Durden(s) to tip his/their hand.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:51 | 3732440 Richard III
Richard III's picture

Bloody good retort, TD.


Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:55 | 3732455 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

could someone please post the video when it becomes available.........TIA

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:46 | 3732625 ultimate warrior
ultimate warrior's picture

Tyler just burns CNBC and is like no big deal. LOL!

What is even better is that CNBC just gave free advertising for this site and will likely lose even more viewers in the near future. 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:06 | 3732505 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Yeah Tyler, get your facts straight like Cramer does. Bear Stearns is a screaming buy buy buy

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:57 | 3732462 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Good ol' Tefal Joey. What a douche.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:00 | 3732481 akak
akak's picture

Someone let me know when little Joey Lasagna finally enters puberty.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:48 | 3732428 LiquidityandLunacy
LiquidityandLunacy's picture

hows rt doing?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:50 | 3732432 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

Followed by government subsidy. When you are as pro-government and Obama as all the NBC channels you deserve some graft.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:53 | 3732449 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

See that ZeroHedge just got a Shout Out from the ASSHOLE FUCKERS...kudlow and joey lov.....



Mon, 07/08/2013 - 22:47 | 3732991 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

The crazy things is that for REAL journalism, there cannot conceivably be a more opportune time to be a financial reporter.  There have been more scandals and frauds perpetrated in the last 5 years than in my life combined. There should be a "financial OJ" story or "financial trial of the century" every month at least.

But alas, their function is not to investigate or even to educate the unwashed.

It is to indoctrinate.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 01:09 | 3733274 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

I'm as happy as anyone seeing this fucker go down.

But admit it bitchez......if they had Hooters babes in bikinis giving the blow by blow of the markets and whatnot, you'd watch.

Maybe with the volume muted.

But you would watch.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 01:28 | 3733296 grgy
grgy's picture

CNBC = ZIRP - zero interest rated programing

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:05 | 3732262 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

here's to hoping some of those wall street banker cheerleading fuckers follow ZH...


Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:36 | 3732381 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

i dont wanna here no excuses...

just sign it....

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:09 | 3732272 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

cnbc aka parade of maggots

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:23 | 3732321 FightingtheFed
FightingtheFed's picture

The phony Kudlow speaks of "Free Market Capitalism" every night but winces every time some one mentions that the FED might should pull back..


They are very sickening to me.. All a bunch of liars.. All with skin in the game. All loving the FED.

No one could ever dream of a better method of running the economy but turning everything over to the FED.

Along with the CNBC pundits these FED people give me the creeps.. They speak like damn Aliens...

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 09:56 | 3733785 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

Exactly, they are Communists (Fascists, Socialists, whatever ism you care to list) posing as 'Free Market' Capitalists and proponents of Democracy. Like I keep saying, 'The STATUS-QUO' has GOT-TO-GO. These Elite BOOTLICKERS are the dregs of society and need to be dealt with swiftly and surgically....

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:28 | 3732348 akak
akak's picture

At least honest maggots only eat diseased tissue, rather than the entire host.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:44 | 3732412 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture


C Nothing But Crap

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:10 | 3732275 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

Couldn't have happened to a nicer group of folks.....

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:11 | 3732277 XRAYD
XRAYD's picture

Are Becky and Erin still around?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:18 | 3732306 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Good question.

Can we still say bimbos?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:45 | 3732413 knukles
knukles's picture

Yes.  "Bimbo" would be more bigoted than racist.
Racist applies only to one's race.
Bigot considers the full panoply of anything you might not like not limited to race but includes color, creed, sex, sexual orientation, economic status, religion, mentality, opinion, values, looks, style, whatever... ... anything your little heart desires... y'all  get the idea.


Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:58 | 3732467 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Bimbo!...its PC Approved and good for ya!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:17 | 3732706 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

and Bimbo Eruptions can be handled only by the very best!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:22 | 3732318 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

Erin married and got impregnated by some assfuck Citibank exec- surprised?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:35 | 3732377 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Sorry ~ But I gotta say right here, right now, that... FUCK RICK SANTELLI TOO...


It would have been different if all his 'controlled countermeasure' bullshit had CHANGED things in the last 5-10 years... BUT IT HASN'T... Why?... Because he's the same fucking talking head collecting a paycheck as the rest of them...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:03 | 3732488 Ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is bliss's picture

If Rick Santelli is bullshitting the masses then he deserves an academy award. I don't believe Rick Santelli can create real change, but neither can the President, the Congress, or the Senate, or any other entity or person paid to govern this great nation. I like Rick's are you fucking crazy approach to the obvious metaphoric liesman. Unlike the people we elected, Rick Santelli was not commissioned to govern this nation for the betterment of its citizens. He does (IMHO) opine to the truth as far as anyone can and continue to be on governmentally controlled CNBC. I give Rick a pass...on the garrote. 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:33 | 3732593 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

He collects a paycheck...


ANYONE... Under the present architecture of the illusory 'PAPER' world that we live in that COLLECTS A PAYCECK... is... a DE FACTO supporter of that system... I have no doubt that Santelli realizes this himself [but then, if so, why does he show up to work every morning]?...

The bottom line is rather simple... END THE FED... But when that happens ~ we're back in the Dark Ages within weeks... So you either 'support the status quo'... or you don't... If you collect a paycheck... You support the status quo...

It's as simple as that...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:43 | 3732617 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Rick Santelli's job is to get you all riled up. If, at a certain point, things actually get close to serious, he is the guy they march out to calm you down.

If you think otherwise you are deluded.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:54 | 3732640 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I'm pretty much sure that's what I just said...


NOBODY wants to 'get serious' fonz... [& despite all the bullshit francis_sawyer rhetoric ~ I'm scared as shit of that scenario myself]... I WILL say that I'm willing to confront it 'STEP BY STEP & 'HEAD ON' if it comes, though]...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:02 | 3732663 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I'm pretty sure that's what I have always said regarding Santelli Francis.

People get pissed off. They want to believe he is some abberration,

It's tough man. How far does this thing go? I admit, Snowden was my hero. Yet now I am starting to think, unless he comes clean on 9/11 or something as noteworthy, he is just a plant. Doc Engali thinks Zh is some sort of plant. Maybe it is.

It's getting close to being time to let it go Francis. are you here to preach? Because some of us are converted, some of us think we are, and some of us are here for entertainment only.

Have a beer, sit down. Norm should be here any minute.



Mon, 07/08/2013 - 22:26 | 3732927 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I'm not here to PREACH... This site is UP... I post my shit...


You should remember that francis_sawyer was VERY EARLY in putting up question marks about Snowden [& not jumping to onclusions]...

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 01:48 | 3733323 Notarocketscientist
Notarocketscientist's picture

ZH could be tolerated by the same people behind the NSA spying because just like Santelli, it gives the pissed off people an outlet to rant.

I have trolled some of the idiots on this site inviting them to put their guns where there mouths are instead of sitting in their basements fondling their ammo.  

Of course they would rather plunk away at their keyboards that take any sort of action.  They don't have to take up arms - what about organizing a protest?

Nadda.  They sit there jerking off to ZHers who feed their biases and pat themselves on the back because they feel like they are taking action against the diseased world.

But what are they accomplishing? What is ZH accomplishing?  Is anything changing?  Nope. 

All we have is a virtual revolution going on in here.  All we have is hundreds of thousands of people venting their anger through a key board.

If Snowden is for real why is nobody on the streets pissed off as hell?  Nah.  We go to ZH - we watch NFL triple headers.

NUTHING is gonna change.  NOTHING.




Tue, 07/09/2013 - 01:41 | 3733313 Notarocketscientist
Notarocketscientist's picture

Good cop > Bad cop. 

When Rick gets onto cnBS (can someone design a logo for them using that casing) and takes a shit on Dimon or Blankfein then

1.  I will respect him

2. he will be fired and will join this guy in pergatory

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 23:39 | 3733159 SoCalBusted
SoCalBusted's picture

Might watch if they brough Jeff Macke back

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 01:29 | 3733298 Notarocketscientist
Notarocketscientist's picture

Yes FUCK Santelli.

If you can find a single rant where he rips the banks who are sucking on the tax payer teat to stay in business then I will bow down to you.

Never!   He has and will never turn on the hand that feeds him.  He will turn on Bernanke - he will turn on little old ladies - he will turn on every BUT THE BANKS.

The minute he did that he would be TOAST. 

You do NOT criticize this group of people.  They want to remain in the shadows.  

Santelli is just another loud mouthed minion.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:46 | 3732422 knukles
knukles's picture

Ah, Erin's "Childern of the Pooper" story for an interview with Oprah.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:19 | 3732711 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

and here I thought it was Sublime's model for the "Wrong Way"

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 23:06 | 3733052 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

"Erin married and got impregnated by some assfuck Citibank exec"


well, at least that explains why he was known as & had the reputation of... an 'ASSFUCK'...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:56 | 3732458 Richard III
Richard III's picture

So long as Uncle Warren continues to be down for breakfast, Rebecca Quick shall remain on the Comcast payroll.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:12 | 3732280 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Well, what the fuck did those idiots expect? People are tried of the blatant lies, deception, establishment & smoke blown up their asses.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:15 | 3732290 akak
akak's picture

And yet they continue to vote.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:52 | 3732437 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Fuckin a freak show.

Is Kristin Davis really running against Elliot Spitzer for comptroller, the madam who supplied Spitzer with his whores? All they need is a Weiner between them.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:59 | 3732479 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Nathan's Famous. Hold the onion.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 20:55 | 3732647 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Steve Martin... Hold the Onion...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:04 | 3732666 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Fuckin a freak show.

It's almost like another Florida compressed into a city.  ;)

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:17 | 3732705 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Well, from my perspective (being a Native Floridian) we once had a real opportunity to cut off the NE cancer at the Pasco County line...then with the Cross Florida Barge Canal, mine it, stand our posts and shoot the swimming hordes trying to come up from Fort Lauderdale and Sarasota.

But it was not to be ;-)

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:22 | 3732720 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

and I recently learned that "weird cracka' " is an ethnic slur.  Who knew? ;-)  - Ned

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 21:46 | 3732780 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Creepy ass cracka"

Its not that we don't like visitors, its that they come down here and stay (present company would be excepted).

They come down here with some pretty weird shit, like every dog should be on a leash, apparently so they can turn their cats loose in the dead of night to put footprints all over everyones vehicles and jump though any open window they find to piss on the steering wheel, console & seat. 

And we now find, we should be licensed and permitted for every fucking thing we do. From fishing, to hunting, to boating, to driving a car. Its not like we can't drive or know where the fuck we're going, they obviously do not (blue haired idiots, left blinker on, turning right, from the middle lane).

How we were able to sustain ourselves (before the swarm) without a quarter cent tax proposal on every ballot since 1970 is a complete mystery to me ;-)

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 22:07 | 3732860 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

but I never have seen (and hope never to see) your fundament, so how could I know if it were creepy or not ;-)

And yes, the creeping taxing is annoying.  Rhode Island just finished a bridge South of here and the leddislaterz got all hung up on a $0.10 toll.  Of course, it is the existence of the toll that is the go/no-go point.  They can make their adjustments in the future.  Poor RI, sometimes they get things right, like light taxes on boat maintenance, after learning otherwise.  Mostly not.

- Ned

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:12 | 3732282 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

What a shame.  LOL!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:13 | 3732284 B2u
B2u's picture

Will Bernanke bailout CNBS?  er...CNBC

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:15 | 3732291 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   That explains why CNBS brought their London correspondent back to the states. She is one of the few CNBS news reps. I like. I hope they put their U.S. crew on permanent (sebbatical) vacation.

 * Excluding the CNBS London corresponent, and Santelli.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:24 | 3732324 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Honestly, dude...if your BlowHorn hopes are pinned to Kelly Evans taking the reigns and righting the ship, you are one sorry bastard.  Never trust a woman who laughs at EVERYTHING equally.  

Just another chick chosen for her looks. 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:46 | 3732409 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     It has nothing to do with looks CDAD, (she has fish lips). CNBS is last on my list of financial priorites.

 At least she has the capacity to raise her eyebrows when fed bullshit. CNBS is nothing more THAN a morning (BS) monitor for me.

 You seem to have a good biographical knowledge of her? (I didn't even know her name)

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 19:48 | 3732430 knukles
knukles's picture

Is she the American skinny one who was sooo ever arrogant to Russ Whateverhisnameis in London?
Seen more meat on an Ethiopian.

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