Fact Or Fiction: Booming Tear Gas Industry Continues To Lead Global Economic Recovery

Tyler Durden's picture

"The market for tear gas just keeps growing and growing... We can only hope that more people demand tear gas and the recovery will be here sooner than we thought," said an analyst.

(Starts at 0:19)



Source: The Onion

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francis_sawyer's picture

'The Onion' on Tear Gas bitchez!... Now THAT's funny!

GenXer's picture

Who are the biggest companies that supply riot gear and tear gas? With coming civil unrest it is not a stupid investment play.

francis_sawyer's picture

"Wonderbread" [for the riot gear]... Hope that helps...

malikai's picture

Wait, how is the tear gas market competing with the prison markets?


Stoploss's picture

Call Direxion, were gonna need 3X leverage on the long play, use GASM as the ticker.

For the short play with the same leverage, use OSHT as the ticker.

Headbanger's picture

Reminds me of the bad old days of Agent Orange boosting the value of Dow Chemical and Monsanto.


And lets not forget that great old saying back then from DuPont:  "Better Living Through Chemistry"

JohnG's picture



I'll be damned. 

For a few grand you can buy, online, the same or better gear than cops use.  All of it. 

Even body armor for your dog.

Project Mayhem Proceed.

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

It's so funny I'm cryin' -- or maybe that's the tear gas -- or The Onion(s).  

Dunno for sure...

Real Estate Geek's picture

I hear that cans of wasp insecticide can be squirted under the face shields on riot gear.

Boondocker's picture

Its been a good play since 2009...

Unpopular Truth's picture

this may be off topic, but why are you calling everyone else bitchez? Do you need professional help top resolve any issues? Whether you do or don't, I must say this distracts from your opinions which I otherwise agree with!

prains's picture

you may prefer Glitchez!

<---Tyler, only trying to help out

if being nondenominisexually correct is your thing, plus it will help keep the ZH five O off your whiskey tango foxtrot

don't even go to the cheesepoop meme, it'll just cause cramping


just think of Glitchez as Bitchez but with a kick stand and trainers til you get warmed up and have your first bloody nose, Franc will oblige but not until he's perfected his Ciabatta helmet with chin straps

PT's picture

Unpopular Truth asks, "... why are you calling everyone else bitchez?"  :

Are you new here?

Yes, I don't know either.  And it looks like we won't find out in a hurry.  But I do believe that the correct terminology is, "Gold Bitchez", give or take a bit of punctuation and font manipulation.  ( At one stage it got reeeaalllllyyy tedious. ) Maybe we need a ZH anthropologist to study these things and report to us lesser mortals. 

e-recep's picture

shut up, bitch and keep stacking.

SpykerSpeed's picture

Why do people upvote retarded comments like this?

noless's picture

Its this sites version of "first post" it hails from when gold was in an unstoppable climb. Haven't seen a sincere "gold bitchez!" In a while, but i'd put money on its eventual return.

1800 cut a bunch of people down.

I still want a thread crawler that goes through the archives and finds the first "wow this place has really gone to shit" post, I'm guessing it resides somewhere in the first few months.

Sorry if you don't agree, but everyone loves to feel involved.

noless's picture

Oh sorry, did you mean the mentality or the context?

Because honestly, tear gas is most definitely a growth industry, even if this is satire.

YHC-FTSE's picture

Jesus. It figures a that a US manufacturer of teargas would fly the Israeli flag at their factory in Jamestown. The bastards don't even try to hide it.

krispkritter's picture

Yeah, match made in heaven.


And while this may be an Onion headline for now, wait until this Zimmerman thing breaks loose. Do a search on 'zimmerman riot preparedness'.

XitSam's picture

I did that search and all that came up was AR-15 and shotgun links.

Having experienced both tear gas (Army basic gas chamber) and horseradish, tear gas is nothing compared to horseradish.

Jackagain's picture

Yeah...Israel uses tear gas while the Palestinians use Russian made surface to surface missiles and bus bombs....

YHC-FTSE's picture

Er, I think you may have conveniently left out, cluster bombs, JDam air strikes, artillery, tanks, gunships, APCs, etc - you know, all the shit the Israelis used to conduct the longest military occupation in modern history with the added spice of Mossad.

Colonel Klink's picture

You forgot nucular (sic) weapons. 

You know those peace keeping devices without which are benign. /sarc

Monedas's picture

If the Palestinians had nuclear weapons .... they would have used them by now .... duh ?  Don't give me this crap that my Jews are as heathen as the Muslims .... ruthless and righteous .... yes indeed .... but cruel and mean .... no way !

francis_sawyer's picture

Somebody tell Danny Kelvin that the 'Texans' picked up Ed Reed in the offseason...

El Oregonian's picture

Or,... sounds like a gov't contract in CRYME being committed.

noless's picture

Only for your citizenismisms.

CharliePrince's picture

makes ya wanna cry

kill switch's picture



The trillion dollar question is what is really going on with metals?  No one is selling, everyone is buying, drying up supplies and sending premiums through the roof. I will tell you and make it as clear as I can. I will detail for you the exact reasons behind the scenes from the board room strategies to the public market.
We are witnessing a grand chess game being played out right before us.

From V, Steve Quayle.com:

Recap the last two weeks and what have we heard? Precious metals beat down, China economic numbers and dollar regaining it’s strength and fools rallying in stocks all based on parlor tricks, no volume, insider trading, FED manipulations, and contracting growth. If this were a soap opera it would be called “The Dumb & The Reckless”.

The trillion dollar question is what is really going on with metals? I mean no one is selling, everyone is buying, drying up supplies and sending premiums through the roof. I will tell you and make it as clear as I can. I will detail for you the exact reasons behind the scenes from the board room strategies to the public market. We are witnessing a grand chess game being played out right before us.

One thing you all have to understand in the game of slights called the markets Is this. That confidence is everything and suppressing the price of precious metals is imperative to having an image of monetary credibility. Look at the biggest players in the gold market is the Central Banks and the Bullion banks. It is a very dubious and interesting relationship, a Frick to a Frack a Ying to a Wang. Central Banks are not required by the IMF to disclose the Gold Holdings ( of which they have very few) and Bullion Banks are not required to disclose allocations of Gold they have out for loan (except to each other). Now do you see this as a problem? I do. If this is not another empirical evidence of a rigged casino then my friend you have not been paying attention.

The way this Central Bank (CB) and Bullion Bank (BB)relationship works is this: a BB will ask a CB for gold. They will hammer out the details amongst themselves in terms of loan length, amount, rate etc.. Then the BB will take it and loan it out to the market until eventually the CB gets it’s gold back. This happens hundreds of times a week. Recently though what has occurred is that you have had a culmination of a few things.

1. Continued cracking of the financial markets
2. BOJ out stimulating the FED 3:1
3. Continued failures in the corpse that is the EU
4.UK financial issues and contractions

So what should the troubled central banks do? Simple, like I said, the most important thing in this world of smoke and mirrors is having the appearance of financial or monetary credibility. You short metals, pump fear of Chinese economic meltdown and viola the lost sheep come corralling back in to the US Dollar pen.

Something has changed though. Since precious metals have been shorted and every managed money fund (Hedge Fund) has bought the trick, the Bullion banks have fulfilled their shorts contracts for June….Now their contracts for August going forward is guess what? LONG!!! Long on Precious Metals.

The four largest of this cabal are Net long 26,000 plus contracts on gold and the same can be said for silver. Why now? Simple their risk exposure has been mitigated.  I have told many of you that you can only ignore market principles of for so long before they come back and haunt you. With the physical supplies drying up the bullion banks are in a consensus, there never was a time in history of modern banking that their risks have been this LOW!!! There is no over abundance of supply like it was in the 80?s and 90?s to create massive volatility. They have with the last shorting de-risked their trading books and are NOW HUNGRY TO BUY and GO LONG!!!! They are expecting the prices to rise and given the fact they suckered the Hedge Funds the move in Gold and Silver is going to be EXPLOSIVE especially when fund manager gets a rude awakening and dashes to close their positions.

The market these days is rife with instability and volatility with exchanges trying to keep up appearances of confidence while going through the motions. This is the NORM now not the EXCEPTION. This is the number one reason the world is waking up to the fact that ownership in precious metals make sense. Look it took the Japanese market 21 days to dump 26% it took gold almost two years to drop a similar percentage!!!!! Welcome to my world equity traders and brokers!!! There is NO CONFORMATION BIAS HERE!!!

The world is waking up to the fact that the US, Japan, UK and EU is nothing but a bunch of has-beans.   The old guard whose wares and services are no longer needed. To them Gold and Silver ownership is a way to protect themselves from the inevitable failings of a system that has run amok for the last few decades. We are witnessing before our eyes the very destruction of the equity and bond markets of the Quagmire Quartet (US,UK, JP, EU). This will end badly for many especially those that still don’t understand the larger agenda and the difference between the paper and physical markets.

What is quickly lost, in this case is quickly gained.

francis_sawyer's picture

"The world is waking up to the fact that the US, Japan, UK and EU is nothing but a bunch of has-beans"


"Has BEANS"?... That's news to me... I always thought we were a 'BANANA REPUBLIC' [& 'yes' we have no bananas]...

NotApplicable's picture

That's a typo. Should've been "has-no-beans."

El Oregonian's picture

..Nor a Republic... anymore... Totalitarian, next up.

Colonel Klink's picture

Think he meant to say has-beanies.  They're just missing the propeller.

Yen Cross's picture

      Got, "NAT GAS?" 

   I'm still laughing over that "Bread Helmut" comment you made yesterday francis. That was classic!

buzzsaw99's picture

Central Banks are not required by the IMF...

Stopped reading right there. Wordy, pointless, clueless.

kill switch's picture

Lets hear your informed analysis....much more than clueless I suppose,,,,Start talking buzzsaw99 BTY What does that indicate about you???

Your avatar is one ugly son of a bitch Arnoald SSSSS

Stopped reading right there,,,so your challenged with long post and books??? That may have more to challenge you intellect and you cash out??? Sad on you.

noless's picture

I fucking wish i could be buying right now. I don't discount some huge down, but honestly, for the electronic trader, this shit is prime for profit.

I'm still in the 700fr isn't unreasonable camp, but if i actually had the money i wouldn't mind chips at the table right now..

6 month: anyone trading gold(without significant cash on hand) is so fucking hammered that they can't keep their doors open, delivery shortfall without (even online retailers) playing. To the general public it looks like foolishness, and overreach. Some survive.

The end point is can the average fuck afford a gram without fucking up his households solvency, it drifts back to wages, the only "jobs recovery" Is in do nothing nepotistic office work, that feeds service industry.

How in the fuck does the food get to the city? Can we honestly live in a system where the only reason why all of us aren't starving is because of a slave population, often times on par intellect wise with those who govern?

But the roads must roll right?

I love when i hear that the poverty line is five times what i could conceivably make in a year.