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A Look Inside Stevie Cohen's New York Duplex: The Most "Expensive" Apartment In Manhattan

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Think the $90 million sale of the penthouse duplex at the still unfinished One57 to an undisclosed buyer is a milestone for New York real estate? Then you haven't looked at the asking price for Steve Cohen's duplex on the 51st story of the Bloomberg building aka One Beacon Court. At $115 million, if sold, this will represent the most expensive New york real estate transaction in history.

Naturally, nobody can blame Stevie for taking some cash out: after paying $150 million for a Picasso, $60 million for an East Hampton estate and $616 million to settle a SEC civil suit, the hedge funder who redefined the term "information arbitrage" and whose SAC Capital is converting to a "friend and family" run office may suddenly be facing a liquidity crunch.

Alas, Stevie may have a problem getting top dollar for his midtown real estate.  As Observer reported some time ago,

With no outdoor space, three blocks between the building and the park and nowhere near the name recognition of 15 Central Park West, can Mr. Cohen’s 51st-story duplex do it? (Even if it can’t, he only paid $24 million for the apartment back in 2005, so he’ll come out ahead either way.)

 

Then again, “there are exceptionally good views” from One Beacon Court, said Ms. Del Nunzio, “and the finishes”—interiors by Charles Gwathmey, natch—”are very good” (which we’re sure the contractors will appreciate as they rip them out and leave them for dead at the curb).

Stevie isn't the only one scrambling to cash out at the peak of the latest cheap credit-fuelled housing bubble:

The city is positively booming with would-be record-setters. Martin Zweig wants $125 million for his triplex at the Pierre (a co-op, so at least Mr. Cohen will have the shady Eastern European oligarch market all to himself), Steven Klar wants $100 million for his CitySpire penthouse (which, at 8,000 square feet, is looking a bit shabby in comparison) and Leroy Schecter wants $85 million for his 15 Central Park West spread (down from $95 million).

Still, for those curious what over one tenth of a billion would get them, here is the inside of the vaunted apartment via Gwathmey-Siegel.

Here is interior decorator Gwathmey-Siegel explained their mandate:

The mandate was to accommodate a family with four children’s bedrooms and sitting room, two working offices, master bedroom suite, living/dining, gallery space, kitchen/breakfast space with connecting sitting room, with both a sense of privacy and loft-like volumetric expansiveness, while simultaneously allowing the installation of a major modern art collection.

 

The goal, through both the material palette of white Venetian integral plaster, stainless steel, maple floor, and white lacquer cabinets and the sculptural spatial articulation would both engage and counterpoint the spectacular 360° panoramic views of the city and beyond with a sense of serenity within a unique oasis environment.

It is unclear is the waist-sized Excedrin "bottle" in the bedroom was part of the "mandate"

More here

 

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Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:40 | 3730647 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Oy vey, bitchez!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:44 | 3730662 MagicHandPuppet
MagicHandPuppet's picture

shanda for the goyim!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:47 | 3730681 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Nice, now I know how the cheesepopes spend all my hardworking money that they siphoned.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:48 | 3730690 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

No faux-leopard skin chairs?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:58 | 3730722 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

fully functional lair...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:59 | 3730730 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

"lair" ... lmao

I don't see an egg-laying chamber here, I call BS.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:01 | 3730734 malikai
malikai's picture

Elite -> TMZ in two posts!

Congrats.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:25 | 3730815 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

One KABOOM away from going back to 20 mil

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:59 | 3730907 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Not a problem... If the market tanks, he'll take out a $7 billion dollar insurance policy on it, then hire his 'friends' to fly some remote controlled airplanes into it, blame it on a few lap dancing afficianados wearing towels on their heads, & collect on the insurance money [that was underwritten by another 'friend'], who then took a government bailout [when his company went kaput], with printed money by 'more friends', & hang the bill on the taxpayers...

~~~

Piece of babka!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:14 | 3730954 g speed
g speed's picture

You couldn't pay me to live in that operating room--- looks like a place you would get a liver transplan. Ain't a tree or blade of grass or wild flower anywhere--fucking obsene.  

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:21 | 3730990 pods
pods's picture

The ultimate Little Man-man cave.  Everyone will know you really made it.  You can be above them all in all your glory.

You can tell everyone how desirable the place is, and of course money is no object, you just like nice things.

Gag.  

pods

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:24 | 3731002 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Stevie Cohen deserves EVERY green arrow I gave to each one o' yuz above.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:27 | 3731015 Stackers
Stackers's picture

So that's what one soul will buy you these days, uh.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:37 | 3731047 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

if we have learned anything from events of the past decades, it is that real estate is the best place to park your wealth

in the unlikely event that a psyop drone crashes into your dwelling and freefalls the thing, you are covered by insurance and visits from the totus and a national day of rededication to build it back

meanwhile, all the gold in your basement just melts and gets hauled away, to be infinitely rehypothecated

real estate in supertall building: 1

gold in the basement: 0

ps buy bonds

 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:49 | 3731086 knukles
knukles's picture

Noveau Riche Hideous to point of ugly, ostentatious, lacking soul and character.
Jesus....
And all for that money?
A prison cell has more character.
Ooops...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:41 | 3731235 phyuckyiu
phyuckyiu's picture

Lots of Khazarians trying to leave the burning building at the same time. Did the fleas find a new dog?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:46 | 3731254 phyuckyiu
phyuckyiu's picture

INB4 Las Vegas Dave in 3 2 1...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 16:39 | 3731834 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

this is a place where i would feel comfortable walking my 130lb malamute without a pooper scooper...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:50 | 3731265 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

"When I show them round my house to my bed
I had it made like a mountain range
With a snow-white pillow for my big fat head"

Peter Gabriel, Big Time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBAl9cchQac

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:33 | 3731032 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

I like how the sun is shining in all the pictures.  NYC must be a great place to live, shame I live so far away... /s

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:40 | 3731059 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

BTW, Steve Cohen, I have a better view out my window than you do.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:35 | 3731041 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

It's the latest in interior decorating trends - "cheesepope chic"

Water-carrier real estate agent who's skimming 10%: "(beaming with the paid-for enthusiasm of someone who's massively overcompensated for never having done a single day's work in his life) I want you to develop the decor around this (points to soulless cheesepope Steve Cohen)"

Interior decorator: "(Recoiling in horror for a moment, then recovering) Ah, eh, well, err, um, uh, yes, sir, of course sir - assistants, we're going to make this place unsuitable for human habitation!"

Soulless cheesepope par excellence Steve Cohen: "(first viewing his newly decorated lair) I love it! What inspiration this designer had!"

Real estate agent: "I told the decorator to imagine purgatory, sir"

Multibillionaire Cohen: "Putz! Shoulda told him to look at my soul! Anyway, ya did good, goychick, here's a nickel I found outside"

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:52 | 3731091 knukles
knukles's picture

I got it!

Decorated in the Style of Late 1990's First Class Airport Lounge!

I knew I knew the style!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:07 | 3731134 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

I thought the same thing.  It is sterile, free of emotion or life.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:29 | 3730827 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

Poor Fwankie Sawyer, ZH resident Jew hater.

The site would not be the same without your literary vomit.

 

 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:51 | 3730880 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

divine queef- zh's new resident whiny cunt.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:00 | 3730919 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

those farts evidently don't stink...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:53 | 3731097 knukles
knukles's picture

You talkin' about me?
I'm the only one fartin' in the room.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:45 | 3731250 phyuckyiu
phyuckyiu's picture

Ahhhh yes, Divine Queefs, our new resident Hasbara Troll.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:40 | 3731061 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

Divine wind just broke wind...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:46 | 3731078 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

Divine wind doesn't recognize cannibalism when he see it..

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:45 | 3731071 Boy
Boy's picture

Screw you.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 07:36 | 3733534 monkeyboy
monkeyboy's picture

A shitload of money sure as hell can't buy you taste.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:51 | 3730702 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

ok, look johnny..say ur prayers take ur vitiamins and always remember...crime dosent pay....

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:16 | 3730793 Sylvia Plath
Sylvia Plath's picture

Got to love the statue, i'm rich bitchz!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:44 | 3730866 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

and the 4 meter plasma screen with the Cremaster cycle on endless loop....

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:47 | 3730685 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Kosher.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:54 | 3730703 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

From the Interwebz

“Irina Plotnikov cannot marry the man she loves, Shmuel Cohen, even though she is Jewish according to halakha (Jewish religious law). A rabbinic court in Jerusalem ruled recently that even though Plotnikov is Jewish, she is not eligible to marry a Cohen since her father is not Jewish.

“According to Jewish tradition, people with the surname Cohen are descendants of the priests that served in the Temple in Jerusalem 2,000 years ago…Plotnikov immigrated to Israel from the former Soviet Union in 1992. Last summer she met Cohen, a retired career army man, and they fell in love…"

 

Cohen is a Jewish name, even more so an "aristocratic jewish" name, this guy is untouchable. Is anybody in any doubt who really runs America(and much of the world) ?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:00 | 3730733 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Silly me, I thought "Cohen" was Irish.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:04 | 3730750 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

Yeah, Black-Irish.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:54 | 3731099 knukles
knukles's picture

No, that's O'Bama

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:33 | 3730838 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

He changed his name to Cohen from O'Brien on the boat over....he wanted to fit in in the New Country.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:12 | 3730952 Freddie
Freddie's picture

John Kerry Kohn duped a lot of micks in Masshole into thinking he was an Irish Catholic Kennedy wannabe.

John Kerry walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:19 | 3730984 g speed
g speed's picture

thats the greates joke since the "take my wife--please" joke--it will be an all time classic --it slays me.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:35 | 3731040 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

But his initials are JFK!  What will I learn next! (again, sarcasm)

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:11 | 3731351 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

F = Fuckin'...

not Fitzgerald

 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 15:08 | 3731553 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

That's pronounced "Co'Han".

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:05 | 3730758 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

All the place needs are some PORCELAIN FOUNTAINS & MAABUL CAALUMS...

~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Phgh-MUlBGE

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:56 | 3731103 knukles
knukles's picture

Neo-Miami style, 1980

 

I knew you'd like that, francis

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:53 | 3731270 phyuckyiu
phyuckyiu's picture

I was kind of hoping he could afford the 50 ft. statue of Moloch over in Bohemian Grove for his pad, but I guess Bob Weir said he wants to pray it regularly so they can't move it.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:48 | 3731083 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

If Cohen really is his name, it's sufficient proof in the Jewish community that he's a descendant of the Cohanim, the patrilineal priest clas descended from Aaron.

I assumed this was obvious, but I forget there are non-Jews around here (*chuckle*).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kohanic_disqualifications

Notice that usury and financial rape are not on the list...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mitzvah_of_sanctifying_the_Kohen

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:03 | 3730747 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

For that kind of coin, I thought it would be nice

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:47 | 3730875 Catfish
Catfish's picture

Indeed, it doesn't even have a bar.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:50 | 3730884 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Agreed.  Looks like a renovated office with a bed or two thrown in.  No matter how high above the city these people desire to live, they are still locked in their cage - 50th floor, 100th floor, doesn't matter.  Still a rat cage.

 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:41 | 3731062 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

           " WHAT  A  DUMP "

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:23 | 3731188 NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

A castle in the sky, one mile high

Built to shelter the rich and greedy

Rows of eyes, disguised as windows

Looking down on the poor and the needy

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:29 | 3731422 FEDbuster
Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:33 | 3731215 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Since we are trending "tribal", I'll say instead of shopping at a furniture store, he hit Craigslist for office cleanout "curb alerts".

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:49 | 3730881 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Perfect lair for a criminal mastermind. Dr. Evil would be jealous.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:28 | 3731017 overbet
overbet's picture

The cleaning bill for that place is beyond the average persons reach.

Who is in the pic on the bedroom wall?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 16:29 | 3731813 mt paul
mt paul's picture

ya....

he doesn't have 

a moose friendly outhouse...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:40 | 3730648 Capitalist
Capitalist's picture

Stevie C is dumping his fiat for hard assets faster than the SEC can serve a Wells notice... wonder why?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:40 | 3730649 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

No Stannah Stairlift? Fuck that, it aint worth $115m.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:41 | 3730651 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

Nice views.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:33 | 3730837 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

One would have a perfect view when Operation Blackjack is executed.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:57 | 3731293 phyuckyiu
phyuckyiu's picture

Hey Divine Queefs, the sacrifice to Moloch ritual is at 5 pm, please be patient, you'll have your chance soon.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:44 | 3730656 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Where's the Etruscan vase so I can put out my stogie?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:43 | 3730657 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Hey Stevie, a table set for 12? You fuckin' wish.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:43 | 3730659 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

Any shots of the custom gefilte fish tank?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:54 | 3730667 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

It's gonna cost another $115 million to get that smell out of the carpets... Does Gwathmey-Siegel Kaufman have a service for that?...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:01 | 3730738 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Nothing a little bacon frying on the stove won't cover up.... Oh wait.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:46 | 3731077 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Whats fantastic about FS comment is the interior decorators name actually is...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:46 | 3730660 Mercury
Mercury's picture

At $115 million, if sold, this will represent the most expensive New york real estate transaction in history.

 

...which is weird because it looks remarkably like the Apple store in Edison, New Jersey.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:37 | 3730851 Babaloo
Babaloo's picture

I think he meant the most expensive "residential" real estate transaction in NY.

 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:50 | 3730665 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Crime - the most-effective business model in USA today.  Millions of cases  of mortgage fraud and not one bankster went to jail.  The rest of America pays tribute to the fraudsters of New York city so they can afford their $100 million apartments. Honest New Yorkers get stop-and-frisk from fascist Bloomberg.   Ain't America great?

Behind every great fortune lies a great crime.

Honore de Balzac

 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:38 | 3731049 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

de Balzac was spot on.

I have yet to read the financial history of a billionaire and not be left with serious questions about its origins.

Carlos Slim, Bill Gates, (insert name here) Rothschild, etc.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:45 | 3730668 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Get that Gay Swede on it. He will sell it for 200 million.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:46 | 3730674 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Needs window coverings.

Also- who's that guy with the big head standing in the corner in the first pic? 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:52 | 3730708 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Blowup doll so he can fuck (people?) whenever he wants.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:03 | 3730748 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Noticed that, too. Creepy blue sweater guy with big head. Power money guys find that sexy?? Guess us bearded clam lovers must toil, due to our tastes, alas.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:16 | 3730967 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

as do we smooth shaven clam lovers

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:46 | 3730680 Gmpx
Gmpx's picture

Why to live in NY or any mega city? I would not buy such an apartment even if I could. It is small, the air is poluted and the view on that square forest thing...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:47 | 3730682 Bohm Squad
Bohm Squad's picture

Yeah...but what's the "zestimate" on that place?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:38 | 3731450 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

I bet Stevie would have a shit fit, if the tax assessor had it valued at $115 million.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:48 | 3730687 puntme
puntme's picture

thats a lot of excedrin

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:45 | 3731070 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

"thats a lot of excedrin"   That's cause Cohen is a big headache ...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:48 | 3730689 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

You lot are taking the piss, 125 big ones to live in an office block, with that view??????

Piss off and talk sense, I've seen nicer looking fucking council houses.

With a far better view, hell I look out on a country park behind my house.

You can give a man money, but you cannot give him sense is an old saying I once told.  It more than adequetly applies here.

In my opinion like.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:53 | 3730712 Racer
Racer's picture

I agree with you completely!

Pay that amount of money for those views, yeuchkkkkk

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:17 | 3730795 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

John Muir built a cabin in Yosemite and a stream ran through it. These clowns can keep their bigConcrete boxes full of bigPharma treats.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:17 | 3730975 CloseToTheEdge
CloseToTheEdge's picture

From a letter by Muir:

"I am operating this same mill that I made last winter. I like the piney fragrance of the fresh-sawn boards, and I am in constant view of the grandest of all the falls. I sleep in the mill for the sake of hearing the murmuring hush of the water beneath me, and I have a small box-like home fastened beneath the gable of the mill, looking westward down the Valley, where I keep my notes, etc. People call it the hang-nest, because it seems unsupported"

money can't buy orginality

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:49 | 3730692 Bahamas
Bahamas's picture

Is it only me or the furniture sucks...Looks like Ikea quality stuff.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:31 | 3731026 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

My thoughts exactly.  I guess Sears was too expensive for him.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:40 | 3731455 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

I was thinking Copenhagen. 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:49 | 3730693 oddjob
oddjob's picture

Don't see any fire sprinklers...coffin in the sky.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:06 | 3730764 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Maybe the place is full of asbestos. No sprinklers needed. And when it comes time for a remodel, just call Larry Siverstein.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:42 | 3731237 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Larry "pull it" Silverstein

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:49 | 3730694 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I like that we call him Stevie. Makes me feel like we are buds.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:51 | 3730704 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I'll take two of them.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 10:53 | 3730710 Stuart
Stuart's picture

I've seen ALOT nicer.  He should ask for his money back. 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:00 | 3730731 Haole
Haole's picture

Wow, what a gorgeous place.

 

Maybe in the next life...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:01 | 3730740 Lmo Mutton
Lmo Mutton's picture

meh, not big enough nor high enough.  I could still see the scraggly sefs below.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:03 | 3730743 BadDog
BadDog's picture

I guess you have to be there.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:05 | 3730744 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I don't see Stevie's industrial sized  drum of K-Y jelly for all the people he's screwed.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:12 | 3730783 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Lube is only for friends, otherwise fugedaboutit.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:03 | 3730745 Nero Tulip
Nero Tulip's picture

Def not worth $115M, but he only paid $24M in 2005. That's probably a better return than all his funds.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:16 | 3730792 StandardDeviant
StandardDeviant's picture

$115M, bah.  In London that's what we call a starter home.  Now this is a proper flat.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:35 | 3730846 falak pema
falak pema's picture

I won't show you mine in Versailles it occupies the floor above the gallery of mirrors. 

Once invited a chinese plutocrat there and he dived off the balcony into this :

http://fr.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fichier:Versailles_Fontaine_Apollon_Char_...

Hard landing for an oligarch.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:00 | 3731304 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

"$115M, bah.  In London that's what we call a starter home.  Now this is a proper flat."  Yeah sure Standard Deviant, but have you read what those wankers at One Hyde Park are paying for?

http://www.vanityfair.com/society/2013/04/mysterious-residents-one-hyde-...

 

 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:16 | 3730760 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

cut the hate

i have met stevie he is a cool guy

looks like don draper the girls and young boys are all over him.

many the time i have heard the kinders say please mr can we go home now.

he is a stud.

he has never been done for insider trading the fbi said they made a mistake.

he is a human

he is not jewish 

he creates

he keeps us strong so we can win in the endless wars.

he is a leader of men

he is a king

he represents power

he attends masonic functions for childrens charities.

his friends are helping syria and are sorting out gadaffis mess in libya.

if he was english he would be a knight a baron or a lord.

unlike dutch and belgian arristocrats he does not kidnap chiuldren and keep them 

in castle cellars for later torture.

 

surely that is a plus in his favour.

 

 

 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 16:25 | 3731013 prains
prains's picture

he creates nothing, he makes nothing, he is nothing but part of the sham con game that is financialization. when things go dark and money means NOTHING he will not last the week. His kind that have lived off the backs of others their entire life cannot survive in a world where you will need to feed and clothe no only yourself but also those dependent on you. Where we're going there will be NO room service.

Greece, Egypt, Syria this is just the beginning of the decline, a ripple in the matrix. wait for the tear and guys like cohen will be sucking life through a straw trying to make it through one day.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:08 | 3730776 ironmace
ironmace's picture

In the Bloomberg building.

Go figure.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:14 | 3730787 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Just another offshore pussy who never contributed a real good or service to the US economy. 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:15 | 3730790 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

You see? Crime does pay.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:19 | 3730799 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

Yawn...who cares.  Are we supposed to be jealous?  I sure am not.  Especially since these people choose to waste money in NYC and live in and/or around such a cesspool.  But to each their own.  I wonder if he owns even one physical ounce of silver? 

Bets I gots more than he does bitchez! lol

Just keep stackin' folks...we can't be bothered with what these people are doing.  Take care of yourselves and keep stacking and preparing and we'll be in a much better position than a lot of these people will be after the reset and we'll have the best chance of surviving it. 

And oh yeah...Guns and Ammo too! 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:00 | 3730921 optimator
optimator's picture

Looks great -- but he has to step outside like everyone else even if it is into a limo everything smells the same.  Time for Stevie to cash out and hide the ill gotten gains..

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:22 | 3730806 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Stevie's lawyers are very glad.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:24 | 3730810 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

$115M....hahahahaha!  Good luck with that.  I don't understand why he feels the need to leave NYC as the Governments case against him is going no where fast.  Statutes of Limitations bitches!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:39 | 3730824 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

 

"Martin Zweig wants $125 million for his triplex at the Pierre"

 

Did Marty send that number down from "Hedge Fund Heaven"? He's been dead for almost six months.

 

 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:46 | 3731472 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

It might have been written in his will "to ask $10mil. more than any other place on the market"?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:37 | 3730850 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

This place needs a fountain with a statue in it that says "The World is Yours".

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:45 | 3730871 KashNCarry
KashNCarry's picture

No accounting for home decor taste!  The furniture is cold and stark.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:05 | 3731130 edifice
edifice's picture

It looks like a corporate board room...

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:48 | 3730877 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

No outside space, he is living in a dream world.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:50 | 3730886 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Obnoxious.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:51 | 3730889 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

Wasn't that DSK's penthouse?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:04 | 3731126 knukles
knukles's picture

Well, I understand the confusion because his was similar but decorated with inflatable penises and had nymphomaniac maids from Burka-Butholio in attendance 24/7/365.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:00 | 3730911 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Where is the vegetable garden? Will be fun during the coming black outs. Carry always some water with you, the faucets will be dry either.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:01 | 3730923 lemarche
lemarche's picture

ONLY REAL QUESTION HERE IS :

 

WHAT IS THE POINT OF HAVING SUCH A BACHELOR PAD ONCE YOU RE MARRIED WITH KIDS???

 

DUUUUHHHHH !!!!!

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:07 | 3730937 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Ahh,  a sure sign of the top....

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:09 | 3730943 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

It will have a fantastic view to watch the food riots when they start.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:14 | 3730958 laomei
laomei's picture

Ok... 51st floor?  Good for him I guess.  I just imagine what it's like when there's a power outage.  It just becomes a high-rise prison cell then.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:14 | 3730961 stinkhammer
stinkhammer's picture

dead space  looks dead

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:18 | 3730979 laomei
laomei's picture

Also, the whole "design" thing is horribly overrated, a nice, pristine, untouched concrete shell is better, the furnishing, if anything, detracts from the value... just gonna have to rip it all out anyways.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:21 | 3730991 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

When I look at the opulent structures of these criminals I can't help but see ground bones and lives of those they looted.  Fuck these mother fucking cannibals.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:04 | 3731124 edifice
edifice's picture

They probably mixed bone dust in the concrete, during construction. Modern day Great Wall.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:37 | 3731045 lynnybee
lynnybee's picture

i'd like one of those apartments !!  gee, i could really live nicely there & house all my grown kids & dear grandkids ... u know the ones who can only find jobs now that pay approx $9.00/hr for 30-35 hrs a week!    help me calculate this :   how many years would i have to work at a REAL JOB earning approx $10/hr minus taxes, minus health care insurance, minus the gasoline to get to that low-wage job =  ?   how many years would it take me to accumulate that kind of money to pay for that apartment ?   HOW DID HE MANAGE TO EARN THAT MONEY TO BUY THAT COOL APARTMENT ?   or, was it grifted, scammed, looted from bail-outs, wealth transferred via the corrupt money printing ?    (we all pass away from this life anyway, thank god i have a little frame house paid for & can life cheap.)

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:09 | 3731343 phyuckyiu
phyuckyiu's picture

You silly Goy, tell your grandson my water glass is getting low.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:45 | 3731069 Monedas
Monedas's picture

My Jew Boy from Jew York .... lives well .... what's the story here .... l'chaim !    Monedas   1929   Self Anointed Ombudsman For The Jewish Ether 

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:17 | 3731378 phyuckyiu
phyuckyiu's picture

And the non sequitur award goes to Monedas as always. Phyuckyiu ! 1966 Self Annointed Counter-Hasbara Office Director

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:47 | 3731080 dropdeadfed
dropdeadfed's picture

Looks like a great place to shoot porn vids, just sayin....

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:59 | 3731111 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

I'll gladly settle for the small coins dropped behind his couch cushions.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:04 | 3731125 edifice
edifice's picture

Yes, but did it come with 10 Peruvian slaves?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:14 | 3731153 exodus11
exodus11's picture

Looks like $5 mil to me. Cold, impersonal, like an office. And a solid wall blocking the view. Ridiculous.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 13:18 | 3731158 Aegelis
Aegelis's picture

I'm surpised how unimpressive it is.  I believe I could spend $90 million in much more fun and creative ways.  Wait, is that Jim Cramer's book on the coffee table?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:04 | 3731324 dolph9
dolph9's picture

Still think your grandfather was right to bomb Germany to smithereens for these people?

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:08 | 3731339 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

I'll buy it for 115 million but the Sears dining table has to be included.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:23 | 3731399 whoopsing
whoopsing's picture

Only thirteen thousand a sq. ft. what a bargain . < sarc> Really Steve, no private elevator? WTF. So the design required major floor removal and curtain wall reinforcement, yada, yada,...only in NYC do you REMOVE floor space and increase the price fivefold, good luck with that. Funny thing is, whoever buys the place WILL gut the joint to make it more personal to the new owners, and I bet the curtain wall leaks. Anyway, I'm glad I don't devote my life to building these kinda spaces anymore

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:32 | 3731432 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

For that price there should be at least one stripper dance pole for my hedge fund friends.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 14:59 | 3731514 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

Duplex?  You'd think at this price that you'd at least get a stand alone with small yard.

 

On the other hand, I guess it means the top floor is worth $230m together.

Mon, 07/08/2013 - 15:35 | 3731634 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

It is good for the little people to see how the valueable people live....  It instills the proper respect for their betters....

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