Caption Contest: The Drone Ranger

Tyler Durden's picture




 

With the eponymous Johnny Depp July 4th blockbuster a total dud, now is the time to start even floppier thinking sequels. Here is one such suggestion.

h/t Lance Roberts

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Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:22 | 3734698 MarkD
MarkD's picture

Gotta love Mad Magazine

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:26 | 3734722 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

tasteful

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:31 | 3734747 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Wonder if the "Brown" countries will go watch this?

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:46 | 3734781 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Ben Bernanke stars in The 'Loan Danger'

Movie Soundtrack 

 

U.S. consumer borrowing up; credit card use rises - CBS News

CBS/AP/ July 8, 2013, 4:36 PM

"Total [consumer] borrowing reached a record $2.84 trillion."

*Present economic commentary on "consumers" having to swallow more debt to stay afloat will roughly sound like "[t]his just proves that the consumer is confident, alive and well!"

**Future economic commentary on next crash will roughly sound like "[n]oone could've seen it coming!"

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:47 | 3734819 resurger
resurger's picture

it needs to reach $15 trillion..btw can i buy a house on me credit card?

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:51 | 3734839 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

Coming to NO media outlet ANYWHERE near you.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:59 | 3734862 SMG
SMG's picture

DR:  What is it Tonto?  Someone exercising their freedom of speech, right to bear arms,  or their saying they have a constitutional right against unlawful search and seizure?

DR: HI HO MISSILES, AWAY!

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:15 | 3734885 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

"High Gold and Silver, AWAY!"

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:22 | 3734928 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Yes!  Mad Magazine does it again!  And here is something OT but always a ZH topic:

ANIMAL HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES DEPT.

Today, the interest rate for subsidized Stafford college loans doubled from 3.4% to 6.8%, all due to (ready for it?) an inability by DC legislators to simply extend the current lower rate. The increase will add hundreds or thousands more dollars to the already crippling costs of higher education for many lower and moderate income families. It’s so chilling, this classic dorm poster may need to be updated.

http://www.madmagazine.com/blog/2013/07/01/belushi-dorm-poster-updated

 

And...

How Edward Snowden Has Passed the Time in a Moscow Airport

http://www.madmagazine.com/blog/2013/07/09/how-edward-snowden-has-passed...

 

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:48 | 3735016 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

my pursed lips should tell you I am god....not thee god..just your god.  Hey Joe.....

Hey Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
Hey Joe, I said where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
Alright. I'm goin down to shoot my old lady,
you know I caught her messin' 'round with another man.
Yeah,! I'm goin' down to shoot my old lady,
you know I caught her messin' 'round with another man.
Huh! And that ain't too cool.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 18:38 | 3735519 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

In costume these two bozos appear more credible than normal.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 16:09 | 3735080 ShankyS
ShankyS's picture

"Transformers" comes to mind.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 16:21 | 3735126 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Why the hell have I got this Indian next to me?... I said I much prefer the policeman & the construction worker...

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 16:24 | 3735145 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

What Now Kemo Sabe?

DaddyO

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 17:25 | 3735342 Stackers
Stackers's picture

I didnt know BillBanzai7 worked for MAD Magazine.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 19:20 | 3735607 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Tonto:  "Fuck you Kemosabe" !

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 16:19 | 3735124 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

 

 

Tonto Biden...

"Kemosabe, why you keep telling heap-big lies?

This is the 9th crow in 9 moons I've had to put on top of my head because you keep having to eat them!"

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 17:16 | 3735317 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

Tonto Biden, under his breath in the direction of the Drone Ranger, "Man speak with fork tongue!"

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 19:25 | 3735615 Vic Odd
Vic Odd's picture

Tonto: "Kee Mo Sabe....Why you no talk anymore? You need 'em teleprompter?", 

 

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:49 | 3734828 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

O.T

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/10168633/Former-Fuk...

Former Fukushima nuclear plant boss dies of cancer

 

Of course Tepco says his death is not related to the accident.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:53 | 3734846 knukles
knukles's picture

course not... he wuz gettin treated at the plant

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:36 | 3734970 petolo
petolo's picture

Yes, Chemo-sabee.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 16:13 | 3735096 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Aaaaaaaaand rimshot.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 17:24 | 3735339 N57Mike
N57Mike's picture

“Shikata ga nai” It cannot be helped.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 16:16 | 3735098 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

The Chernobyl event was characterised primarily by increases in thyroid and esophageal cancers...

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23683549

Cleanup worker results...

RESULTS:

Overall, 756 cancer cases were reported during 1986-2007. A higher proportion of thyroid cancers in relation to the male population was found (PIR=2.76; 95%CI 1.63-4.36), especially among those who started their mission shortly after the accident, in April-May 1986 (PIR=6.38; 95%CI 2.34-13.89). Also, an excess of oesophageal cancers was noted (PIR=1.52; 95% CI 1.06-2.11).

But if the Japanese lawyers for TEPCO say that it's unlikely then it must be unlikely...

 

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 17:19 | 3735325 AKrandy
AKrandy's picture

There might be a few hundred thousand more cancer deaths "not related to the accident".

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 18:34 | 3735511 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Hey TontoBiden, when I said "Plug the Damn Hole!" I didn't mean for you to shove your FINGER up my ASS!... Although now that I think about it....

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 18:52 | 3735546 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

It's a Criminal system, built by Crinimals for Criminals. The business of America used to be business. Now the businesses of Amerika are war, theft, mass murder, and police state crackdown on anyone who objects.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:49 | 3734804 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

 

 

THE DRONE RANGER: No Laws Broken

Defender of the State's right to privacy,

Warrior against any that believes he is entitled to the same.*

 

*(corporations not included)

 

Opening in skies everywhere Summer 2014

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:49 | 3734830 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Hi-Yo Surveillence? Away!

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:52 | 3734842 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

"No Country for Bold Men."

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:10 | 3734899 TruthInSunshine
Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:47 | 3735010 cossack55
cossack55's picture

"Fist Full of Fiat"

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:49 | 3735021 cossack55
cossack55's picture

"For a Few Fiats Moar"

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 19:28 | 3735632 Vic Odd
Vic Odd's picture

Tonto: "How you trick 'em white men to make 'em drones for paper notes?" 

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:27 | 3734727 WarriorClass
Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:47 | 3734821 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

FRAG THE MORON!

Great, but even they won't go where I will go ;-)

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:53 | 3734833 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Surveillance is what I seek, Kemosabe.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:50 | 3734837 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

williambanzai7, the fastest draw in the west!

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:52 | 3734843 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

Craw, looking at horse: "birdy nam-nam!"

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:53 | 3734845 resurger
resurger's picture

lol kemosabe wb7

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:53 | 3734849 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Must be the horse talking--he's got a hard look to him.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:08 | 3734896 machineh
machineh's picture

The name is Ed ... Mister Ed. 

Pleased to meetcha!

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:55 | 3734853 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

And starring John Kerry as Silver.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:09 | 3734902 machineh
machineh's picture

And the bartender asks Silver, 'Why the long face?'

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:08 | 3734857 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

The prospect of millions of kids laughing at these corrupt clowns, for the right reasons, makes my day.

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:14 | 3734909 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Horse - "Tell the guy with the mask that if he does not use lube next time I will kick his balls so hard they will pop out his ears."

Tonto - "Oohh"

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 15:33 | 3734961 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

DR. "Well Tonto, it looks like we are completely surrounded by the Apaches on the warpath. This is the end, old friend."

Tonto: "What you mean 'we', half-white man?"

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 18:08 | 3735455 de3de8
de3de8's picture

Mad beat W Banzi to it!

Tue, 07/09/2013 - 14:22 | 3734699 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Classic.

ROFLMAO

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