Caption Contest: The Drone Ranger

Tyler Durden's picture

With the eponymous Johnny Depp July 4th blockbuster a total dud, now is the time to start even floppier thinking sequels. Here is one such suggestion.

h/t Lance Roberts

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MarkD's picture

Gotta love Mad Magazine

Pladizow's picture

Wonder if the "Brown" countries will go watch this?

TruthInSunshine's picture

Ben Bernanke stars in The 'Loan Danger'

Movie Soundtrack 

 

U.S. consumer borrowing up; credit card use rises - CBS News

CBS/AP/ July 8, 2013, 4:36 PM

"Total [consumer] borrowing reached a record $2.84 trillion."

*Present economic commentary on "consumers" having to swallow more debt to stay afloat will roughly sound like "[t]his just proves that the consumer is confident, alive and well!"

**Future economic commentary on next crash will roughly sound like "[n]oone could've seen it coming!"

resurger's picture

it needs to reach $15 trillion..btw can i buy a house on me credit card?

MiguelitoRaton's picture

Coming to NO media outlet ANYWHERE near you.

SMG's picture

DR:  What is it Tonto?  Someone exercising their freedom of speech, right to bear arms,  or their saying they have a constitutional right against unlawful search and seizure?

DR: HI HO MISSILES, AWAY!

FL_Conservative's picture

"High Gold and Silver, AWAY!"

Temporalist's picture

Yes!  Mad Magazine does it again!  And here is something OT but always a ZH topic:

ANIMAL HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES DEPT.

Today, the interest rate for subsidized Stafford college loans doubled from 3.4% to 6.8%, all due to (ready for it?) an inability by DC legislators to simply extend the current lower rate. The increase will add hundreds or thousands more dollars to the already crippling costs of higher education for many lower and moderate income families. It’s so chilling, this classic dorm poster may need to be updated.

http://www.madmagazine.com/blog/2013/07/01/belushi-dorm-poster-updated

 

And...

How Edward Snowden Has Passed the Time in a Moscow Airport

http://www.madmagazine.com/blog/2013/07/09/how-edward-snowden-has-passed...

 

I am more equal than others's picture

my pursed lips should tell you I am god....not thee god..just your god.  Hey Joe.....

Hey Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
Hey Joe, I said where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
Alright. I'm goin down to shoot my old lady,
you know I caught her messin' 'round with another man.
Yeah,! I'm goin' down to shoot my old lady,
you know I caught her messin' 'round with another man.
Huh! And that ain't too cool.

Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

In costume these two bozos appear more credible than normal.

ShankyS's picture

"Transformers" comes to mind.

francis_sawyer's picture

Why the hell have I got this Indian next to me?... I said I much prefer the policeman & the construction worker...

DaddyO's picture

What Now Kemo Sabe?

DaddyO

Stackers's picture

I didnt know BillBanzai7 worked for MAD Magazine.

Jumbotron's picture

Tonto:  "Fuck you Kemosabe" !

wee-weed up's picture

 

 

Tonto Biden...

"Kemosabe, why you keep telling heap-big lies?

This is the 9th crow in 9 moons I've had to put on top of my head because you keep having to eat them!"

FL_Conservative's picture

Tonto Biden, under his breath in the direction of the Drone Ranger, "Man speak with fork tongue!"

Vic Odd's picture

Tonto: "Kee Mo Sabe....Why you no talk anymore? You need 'em teleprompter?", 

 

Dr. Engali's picture

O.T

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/10168633/Former-Fuk...

Former Fukushima nuclear plant boss dies of cancer

 

Of course Tepco says his death is not related to the accident.

knukles's picture

course not... he wuz gettin treated at the plant

N57Mike's picture

“Shikata ga nai” It cannot be helped.

ZerOhead's picture

The Chernobyl event was characterised primarily by increases in thyroid and esophageal cancers...

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23683549

Cleanup worker results...

RESULTS:

Overall, 756 cancer cases were reported during 1986-2007. A higher proportion of thyroid cancers in relation to the male population was found (PIR=2.76; 95%CI 1.63-4.36), especially among those who started their mission shortly after the accident, in April-May 1986 (PIR=6.38; 95%CI 2.34-13.89). Also, an excess of oesophageal cancers was noted (PIR=1.52; 95% CI 1.06-2.11).

But if the Japanese lawyers for TEPCO say that it's unlikely then it must be unlikely...

 

AKrandy's picture

There might be a few hundred thousand more cancer deaths "not related to the accident".

El Oregonian's picture

Hey TontoBiden, when I said "Plug the Damn Hole!" I didn't mean for you to shove your FINGER up my ASS!... Although now that I think about it....

Chupacabra-322's picture

It's a Criminal system, built by Crinimals for Criminals. The business of America used to be business. Now the businesses of Amerika are war, theft, mass murder, and police state crackdown on anyone who objects.

sunaJ's picture

 

 

THE DRONE RANGER: No Laws Broken

Defender of the State's right to privacy,

Warrior against any that believes he is entitled to the same.*

 

*(corporations not included)

 

Opening in skies everywhere Summer 2014

Dr. Richard Head's picture

Hi-Yo Surveillence? Away!

sunaJ's picture

"No Country for Bold Men."

Vic Odd's picture

Tonto: "How you trick 'em white men to make 'em drones for paper notes?" 

williambanzai7's picture

FRAG THE MORON!

Great, but even they won't go where I will go ;-)

Dr. Richard Head's picture

Surveillance is what I seek, Kemosabe.

Svendblaaskaeg's picture

williambanzai7, the fastest draw in the west!

Svendblaaskaeg's picture

Craw, looking at horse: "birdy nam-nam!"

Bastiat's picture

Must be the horse talking--he's got a hard look to him.

machineh's picture

The name is Ed ... Mister Ed. 

Pleased to meetcha!

LetThemEatRand's picture

And starring John Kerry as Silver.

machineh's picture

And the bartender asks Silver, 'Why the long face?'

Bastiat's picture

The prospect of millions of kids laughing at these corrupt clowns, for the right reasons, makes my day.

Wakanda's picture

Horse - "Tell the guy with the mask that if he does not use lube next time I will kick his balls so hard they will pop out his ears."

Tonto - "Oohh"

Jonas Parker's picture

DR. "Well Tonto, it looks like we are completely surrounded by the Apaches on the warpath. This is the end, old friend."

Tonto: "What you mean 'we', half-white man?"

de3de8's picture

Mad beat W Banzi to it!

WillyGroper's picture

Classic.

ROFLMAO