10 Alternative Headlines For An Exuberant Equity Week

Tyler Durden's picture

Sometimes it is what is not discussed among the mainstream media that is most critical to understanding the new normal...

  1. Government's ownership of Consumer Credit rises to all-time high - so does Dow Industrials
  2. Unemployment in Peripheral Europe rises above Depression-Era's 27% - Stocks Rise
  3. FOMC Minutes cause uncertainty and market turmoil, Bernanke promptly takes a shit on them
  4. CNBC's Kudlow Report rumored to be cancelled after LaVorgna appearance
  5. Net Earnings Revisions negative over 90% of time in last two years - Market Rallies 25%
  6. Jobless Claims Rise to 360,000; prior week revised upward; LaVorgna off by only 2 sigma
  7. University of Michigan Consumer Confidence Falls (miss first time in 2013) - Stocks Rally
  8. US Job Growth over last ten years essentially zero Ex-Healthcare, Brooking says
  9. Homeland Security Chief Janet Napolitano resigns, crowd goes wild

 

(h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer)