This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Fact Or Fiction: Goldman Sachs Is Blowing Up A Nursing Home (And No One Can Stop Them)

Tyler Durden's picture





 

While none other than Meredith Whitney warned this morning (mere weeks after her most-bullish-on-banks-ever call) that big US banks' revenue model is unsustainable, we discover that the NYSE Amex Options exchange has decided to DK all of Goldman's "erroneous" trades from Tuesday morning's debacle. As The WSJ reports, this is quite a boon to the venerable Goldman Sachs who faced hundreds of million in losses had the trades stood. The fact that no one can ever touch the bank-that-shall-not-be-named should come as no surprise (unsustainable business model or not) and as the following 'story' suggests, perhaps they truly are 'untouchable'.

 

Goldman Sachs Announces They’re Blowing Up A Nursing Home And There’s Nothing Anyone Can Do About It

NEW YORK - Executive board members of Goldman Sachs called an afternoon press conference today to announce they will be exploding a local intermediate care facility, adding that “we’re doing it, and there’s basically nothing anyone can do about it.”

 

“We decided today we really want to blow up a nursing home, so we’re going to do that and, honestly, I can’t think of a single thing that any one of you could possibly do to stop us—in fact, I’d like to see you try,” said company chairman and CEO Lloyd Blankfein, who later added that residents of the Ocean Trail Care Center in Jamaica, Queens “can leave the facility if they want, or stay right there for all we care, but either way that whole damn nursing home is going up in smoke at 6 p.m.”

 

“So, anyway, that’s what’s going on. We’re placing the explosive charges now and, again, you are all completely powerless to stop us. Have a good day and fuck all of you.” At press time, well, they did it.

Source: The Onion

 


- advertisements -

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!