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NYPD Searching For Parachutists Who Landed Near Goldman's New York Headquarters

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 09/30/2013 22:23 -0400

Just in case you thought the surreality of the US political debacle we are witnessing was too much, the NYPD releases a statement that stokes the fire of confusion. The New York Police Department is looking for two unidentified people who may (or may not) have parachuted on to a lower Manhattan Street. Private security guards reported seeing the skydivers land in front of the Goldman Sachs HQ at around 3am (which we could not help but note was the highs of the European session for Gold). The police noted it was unclear if they jumped from a plane or from a high-rise building (or from Bernanke's helicopter).

Via AP,

New York City police are looking for two unidentified people who may have parachuted onto a lower Manhattan street.

NYPD Commissioner Raymond Kelly said private security guards reported seeing parachutists land in front of the Goldman Sachs headquarters at about 3 a.m. Monday. The building is near the World Trade Center site.

Investigators are studying security videotape from the area. Kelly says footage shows two people with parachutes walking away from the spot.

Kelly says it's unclear whether the pair possibly jumped from an aircraft or from a high-rise building.

In June, police in Chicago said three men climbed to the top of the Trump International Hotel & Tower, North America's second-tallest building, and parachuted to the ground. They got away.

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Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:26 | 4008116 mjorden

Chinese 'Dark Knight' seeks revenge ...

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:28 | 4008123 flacon

Gene Burnett - Jump You F*#kers (A Song For Wall Street)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yge311sFhC8

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 23:08 | 4008219 Central Bankster

Shouldn't they be arresting the "golden parachutes"?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 07:03 | 4008974 Lost My Shorts

Why should they arrest anyone? Is it illegal to parachute in NYC? Or were they smoking and carrying large quantities of high fructose corn syrup?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 07:24 | 4009007 SWRichmond

they were doing a test of the escape plan for higher management at Goldman.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 08:05 | 4009115 Lost My Shorts

I always figured higher management would leave by space ship. Maybe the jumpers were practicing to be decoys.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 04:11 | 4008886 Testudo321

LOL!

Even when the f*#kers jump they have an parachute ready. Real one or even an golden one.........

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:27 | 4008119 Dareconomics

They're probably just base jumpers, but ZeroHedge makes it sound much more intriguing.

http://dareconomics.wordpress.com/2013/09/30/around-the-globe-09-30-2013/

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 23:09 | 4008234 Central Bankster

I'm channeling Sam Flynn.

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:30 | 4008126 Tinky

A new twist on Golden Parachutes?

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 23:07 | 4008224 Central Bankster

Damn you beat me to this joke. ;/

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 04:12 | 4008888 zhandax

Golden Parachutes?

No, those touch down in front of Marriner Eccles, and are immediately redacted.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 04:29 | 4008903 Sandmann

They were't parchutists but women in chadoor

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:31 | 4008127 Mae Kadoodie

Lloyd returning to earth after a meeting with God.

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:56 | 4008195 citrine

Plus 1: that is really funny!

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:32 | 4008131 TaperProof

Parachutes is exactly what goldman execs will get when the shit hits the fan. Golden parachutes

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:33 | 4008135 stant

squid squad

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:34 | 4008140 Stuck on Zero

Bernanke's helicopter developed engine trouble and the crew bailed out.

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:41 | 4008143 Constitutional ...

Someone's rather nervous. That's you, Goldman Sacks. Very amusing. I blame the parents ;-)

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:40 | 4008145 Downtoolong

parachutists land "in front" of the Goldman Sachs headquarters

As Maxwell Smart used to say, “Missed it by that much”. Oh well, maybe next time.

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:40 | 4008147 NoDebt

"(or from Bernanke's helicopter)."

Very funny. Well played.

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:44 | 4008150 Blazed

They have nothing on this fellow.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2436489/Daredevil-Jeb-Corliss-plans-wingsuit-jump-20ft-crack-Chinese-mountain.html

Or this pair.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFmvMHPQ1k8

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:43 | 4008164 knowshitsurelock

At the same time the Senate is voting on whether to shut the goverment down? The country is in peril and these guys are clowning around? How blaphemous!

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:49 | 4008175 Constitutional ...

The sky is falling! What shall we do if CONgress shuts down? Live happily ever after...in our own communities, and Goldman Sacks can go get a proper job as honest highway robbers ;-)

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:42 | 4008165 WillyGroper

The 2 generals that got sacked today.

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:49 | 4008176 Yen Cross

The 'Trump Tower' is several hundred feet shorter than 'Willis Tower' (formerly Sears Tower)

http://tallest-buildings.findthedata.org/compare/1-60/Willis-Tower-vs-Tr...

The new WTC is 46 Feet higher than Willis Tower (1776 Ft.) That would make trump Tower #3 in North America at best.

It's too bad Blankfein wasn't out on the roof barking at the moon. They could have given him a "Golden Shower" on their way down.

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 22:54 | 4008189 Tabarnaque

If they were banksters then it is too bad that they had parachutes.

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 23:03 | 4008208 Everyman

Hopefully the parachutists have hammers, and are going to beat the quid to bloddy pulp!

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 23:46 | 4008345 22winmag

Big deal... they demolished WTC 1, 2, and 7 in broad daylight, killing nearly 3,000 Americans... and thanks to the government-media complex spewing bullshit on the magnitude of the JFK magic bullet sham, very few people even give it a second thought.

Mon, 09/30/2013 - 23:59 | 4008423 EndTheIllusion

Oh no, Ray Kelly will never stand for these "terrorists" landing so close to his overlords.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 00:09 | 4008489 ToNYC

The only way to get there without a limo; way off the beaten path at 200 West Street by design.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 00:10 | 4008528 XitSam

Typical police. They're wasting resources looking for people that did not kill themselves and apparently did not disrupt anything more than the security guards' poker game. "Hey, look! Guys in the street with paracuhutes!"

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 01:21 | 4008748 sansnobel

Bernanke was dropping in On Lloyd and Tribe to make a Midnight deposit, to be shipped out the next morning of course to those starving children in Palestine..............Doing God's work and all

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 02:17 | 4008808 Dr. Bonzo