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91% Of The IRS Has Been Furloughed: Here Is Who Else Got The Government Shut Down Axe

Tyler Durden's picture


For all the drama surrounding today's political drama (which came and went largely unnoticed by a stock market hypnotized by the Federal Reserve), the bottom line is that the key impact of last night's historic government shutdown has been nothing more (or less) than the temporary unpaid leave of absence, i.e. furloughs (with all accrued, owed payments promptly being remitted once the government is unhalted) of some 815,932 civilian government workers, out of a total of 2 million, or a 41% furlough rate.

As the WSJ tabulates "some agencies, such as the Bureau of Labor Statistics, are seeing all but a handful of their employees go home without pay. Others, such as the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Department of Homeland Security, kept the vast majority of their workers on the job. Certain divisions of government, such as the U.S. Postal Service and the Federal Reserve, don’t operate under the normal appropriations process and their staffing remained unaffected." Then again one wonders: with 91% of the IRS' total 94,516 workers stuck at home, downloading porn, is the government shutdown really such an evil outcome?

The table below shows the total number of furloughed workers by government agency, as well as the furlough percentage. For a sortable, interactive version of the table, visit the WSJ.

Of note: with 98% of the FCC's 1754 employees stuck at home, there has never been a better time to show a live Janet Jackson dance show, or swear like a sailor on live TV.


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Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:16 | 4012215 Hughing
Hughing's picture

no. but they'll fix that, buncha asswipes

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:18 | 4012221 90's Child
90's Child's picture


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:37 | 4012294 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

If this shutdown continues, we might have a fiscal surplus???  What do we do then??? I've never seen that??? 

How do you plan around that???  I'm all confused!!!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:42 | 4012319 CH1
CH1's picture


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:09 | 4012432 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

If all the IRS workers are sitting at home paying for their own porn then who's left to crack the whip on all the tax slaves?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:18 | 4012457 ACP
ACP's picture

They only use taxpayer money to download porn, so the ones left at the office will have to pick up the slack.

This will drive their productivity from 5% to 0% (compared to a private sector employee).

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:37 | 4012475 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Special ALERT!! The SSI division of the Free Shit Army on the move.  Friend who works at the local Post Office said the SSI checks didn't come in today.  The "crazies" were going nuts.  "Where is my check?  It has never been late!!!" One guy was screaming and dropping f-bombs.  Wait until his meds don't come.   It has begun.  

For me this is a true glimpse into the future.  Lock and load.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:44 | 4012536 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

"F bombs"
wtf this is Fightclub man the fuck up

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:43 | 4012537 patience...
patience...'s picture

So what is Air Forces Retirement home?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:50 | 4012552 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Fuck him, fuck you and definatly fuck Obama.  I like the term "f-bombs" and will continue to use it whenever I like, so shut the fuck up. BTW what's with the "wtf"?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:58 | 4012788 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

Quick ... someone email George Carlin. It's now or never, baby.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 23:08 | 4012818 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



The Republicans in the House need to point out just how good this is for the environment: think of the reduction in greenhouse gasses from all those federal employees who aren't commuting.

It will also allow the feds to put off highway expansion projects due to the decrease in traffic...



Wed, 10/02/2013 - 00:20 | 4012959 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Wonder what the new unemployment numbers will be like with all the .gov workers filing for first time benefits this week?

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 09:38 | 4013451 Keyser
Keyser's picture

I guess this means Obamacare is on hold since the IRS are set to administer the program. Looks like the GOP got their wish, just leave the Federal government shut down as they can do no more harm this way. 


Wed, 10/02/2013 - 15:37 | 4015124 BellyBrain
BellyBrain's picture

This is a good start.  Now we just need to shut down the rest of the government, and strip away the "corporate shield" so that EVERYONE who works for a scumbag corporation can be held accountable for their crimes. 


HIERARCHY is the problem in our world, both corporate and governmental, along with the insulation from consequences that hierarchy provides for those near the top.  It's time to go UNILEVEL, BITCHES!

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 07:25 | 4013207 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

What the fuck is up with "wtf"?

There, I fucking fixed it.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:40 | 4012721 newdoobie
newdoobie's picture

March AFB

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 23:54 | 4012919 olto
olto's picture

That's right!!!!!

Where IS my check????

On the street, guys----this is serious!

I want my check, now!!!!!


Wed, 10/02/2013 - 00:33 | 4012972 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

No, no, no. It won't get serious until Popeye's runs out of chicken again:

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 00:26 | 4012966 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


If all the IRS workers are sitting at home paying for their own porn then who's left to crack the whip on all the tax slaves?

And who's left to audit and harass Obama's political foes?

(Ah, that seems like such a distant many scandals ago.)

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:40 | 4012321 cifo
cifo's picture

I am surprised that the internet is still working :)

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:45 | 4012328 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

The NSA must not be part of the furlough, they need to keep tabs on the furloughees, don't ya know...


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:34 | 4012516 stant
stant's picture

yeah might turn into mr stack

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 01:42 | 4013032 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

True that, they are not on the list.

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 09:12 | 4013395 ndotken
ndotken's picture

I don't see Congress on the list either.  I guess they exempted themselves from furlough.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:34 | 4012512 mofreedom
mofreedom's picture

Al Gore built that dont ya know...the spying musy go on.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:47 | 4012547 Fake_nation
Fake_nation's picture

Shutdown's not turning out so bad. This is the way the world ends: not with a bang, but with a whimper:

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 09:39 | 4013453 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Just like the sequester that was supposed to be the end of the world. I guess only for Demotards as the rest of us are doing just fine. 


Wed, 10/02/2013 - 00:11 | 4012945 Pandorable
Pandorable's picture

A cyber "attack" conveniently timed right now is the least of our worries. The govt shutdown is the cover story to keep everyone distracted. Chew on this piece of nastiness:

"FEMA & CDC Activate Emergency Alert System" - This, after many months of preparing for martial law to be effective Oct 1, 2013.

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 09:41 | 4013458 Keyser
Keyser's picture

The plebs need something to occupy their minds. Last year it was the Maya calendar catastrophe, this year it's FEMA, Niburu (sic), etc... There is always some disaster right around the corner. The trick is to profit from the sheeple when they all herd one direction or another. 


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:59 | 4012387 max2205
max2205's picture

Moar O Phones for everyone

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:02 | 4012400 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

O Phones are part of the USAC program, which is funded by the Universal Access Fee on your phone/cable/Internet bill. I had to call them about a program called E-Rate today, and they are still open. Why? A "tariff" isn't a "tax."

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:07 | 4012423 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

As a note, the "Obamafone" program started under Reagan, and expanded with the Tracfone under Carlos Slim. See if you qualify!

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 06:18 | 4013157 KidHorn
KidHorn's picture

The furloughs will save the gov't $8.5 billion in salaries and benefits every year. About 3 days of FED printing. The net number is even smaller since much of it is paid back in taxes.


Seriously, employee salaries are not the problem. it's entitlements.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:48 | 4012343 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

What doesnt kill you, makes you broker...

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:18 | 4012456 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Sounds like a good slogan for ObamaCare.........

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:28 | 4012496 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

I think they'll have to change it to:

  "If our medical services don't kill you, then you'll definitely be broker"

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:35 | 4012519 mofreedom
mofreedom's picture

nein...if our meds services dont kill you, our dhs bullets will.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:46 | 4012546 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Sumptin gonna kill yew ana it probs be us

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 00:13 | 4012952 Pandorable
Pandorable's picture

Or the pandemic released intentionally, or fill in the __________.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:30 | 4012504 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

I tried to give you a 100 more up arrows but ZH wouldn't let me do it

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:50 | 4012364 Croesus
Croesus's picture

OH MY GOD....please tell me the IRS didn't get shut down...anybody but them, please! What will America do?

Cheer? Hold a parade? Cigars all around?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:05 | 4012410 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

The irony is that any time I've had trouble with the IRS, the local office was at least helpful. Being closed is like getting assfucked, but the employees had the lube. Get gruntin bitchez!


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:39 | 4012528 mofreedom
mofreedom's picture

The mexican IRS?  US IRS stinks like obamas dildo.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:21 | 4012478 miro1a
miro1a's picture

They only furloughed the ones that work on the returns.  The one's that take the money out of the paychecks are still there, working overtime.

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 07:47 | 4013239 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Drink and shoot guns in the air?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:52 | 4012365 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Layoff or fire 70% of these f**ks.  332,000 work in veterans afrairs?  WTF is that?  Homeland Security?  The borders are wide open - how is this homeland security?  BS created by false flags. 

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:04 | 4012409 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

The borders are wide open, but god forbid that they shut down the border inspection stations 80 miles inland in the CFZ(Constitution Free Zones).


Wed, 10/02/2013 - 04:04 | 4013017 zhandax
zhandax's picture

Layoff or fire 70% of these f**ks.

Yup!  If they can live without them for two weeks, they can live without them for two decades.  In fact, that is true of most of the ones still on the 'job'.

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 11:09 | 4013800 zanez
zanez's picture

"National Archies" ? What about Veronica and Jughead?

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 11:10 | 4013806 zanez
zanez's picture

"National Archies" ? What about Veronica and Jughead?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:17 | 4012227 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Now that's Change that gives me Hope.  I guess 91% of the SEC will have to surf porn from home for awhile.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:34 | 4012297 wombats
wombats's picture

Furlough Obama too.  Lock him out of the oval office.  He will do less harm sitting at home watching porn than actually "working".

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 03:59 | 4013092 zhandax
zhandax's picture

He has a 'home' some tax donkeys aren't indebted for?  Never mind.

Didn't his 'working' trip to Africa eat about 100 grants to National Endowment for the Humanities? 

Don't bother with the math; worthless=worthless.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:43 | 4012326 Renewable Life
Renewable Life's picture

Now that gives ME a tingly feeling up my leg!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:06 | 4012413 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Chris is that you?

Hey everybody, Chris Mathews is a ZH'er...


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:17 | 4012228 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Thank you Jesus. 

Fuck Reid, let's make this last forevuh!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:19 | 4012229 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

CFTC at 96% with days off.  

Party on, Banksterz!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:22 | 4012252 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Green light for PM evening raid. Now under $1280.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:27 | 4012268 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Fight back and BTFD!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:29 | 4012279 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

skynet is functional. GS said gold will go down, so it shall be. It will continue like this until the day the price of gold is so much higher in the black market that no one will even pay attention to the price quoted on the TV. That day may be a long time away though.

You gotta give the bernak credit though. He is running on all cylinders right now. The U.S could default and facefart would probably stay above $50 and gold could go under a thousand.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:56 | 4012379 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Gold is being raided, and maybe all week, since China is having a week holiday...supposedly PBOC though is open to extract more shiney from the fools in the West to send to the East

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:42 | 4012735 capitallosses
capitallosses's picture

WTF does CFTC need 680 employees for in the first place?? 680 of them couldn't find the donkey in the JPM haystack??!!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:19 | 4012230 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

These numbers look about right. Can this be made permanent?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:36 | 4012278 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Sure, & why not go deeper. These Facist Criminals are eliminating, picking & selecting which parts of the dysfunctional Criminal Government to get rid of all while keeping their gaurdian Fascist Totalitrian Authoritarian Police State to protect their Crime Sydicate in tact.

Little do the Criminals know that their not going to get away with it. Their political grandstanding, political theater, lies, deception & illusion is going to come crashing down quickly around them.

The Gas Lighting ends, PsyOp over.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:17 | 4012231 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

The IRS is cumming for you. 

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:12 | 4012443 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Until they get workman's comp for carpal tunnel, from all the "typing"......

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:19 | 4012232 ComeAndTakeIt
ComeAndTakeIt's picture

I hope they never go back to work. 


Fuckin' cunts.



Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:20 | 4012234 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Non-essential personnel obviously, outside of controlling a populations behavior & aspirations.

Print Ben, you bitch.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:24 | 4012266 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

"Print Ben, you bitch."


"An extended government shutdown could bring about added monetary easing, said imbecile of imbecile Capital, Tuesday.

"The longer the shutdown goes, the more economic data is done, the more the Federal Reserve will print money," imbecile said on the first day of the government shutdown, which took effect as Congress failed to pass a funding bill.

On CNBC's "cokehead retards" imbecile said that the Fed could ramp up its $85 billion-per-month stimulus program — the opposite of tapering.

"Whether it's effective or not doesn't really matter to the market, and it doesn't really matter to the Federal Reserve," imbecile said. "I mean, they've shown already if they can get a half a percent of GDP, that's fantastic. I actually think if you get a three- or four-week shutdown, you end up with a Fed flare."

He then added "I am a giant waste of a human existence".

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:41 | 4012310 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

FYI...took the Jap of the table for a small gain. That fucker is all over Christy Brown staking bricks. 

Added to the Taco short. If petro tanks...they are more than fucked.  

The ole North of the border is looking fine if you have patience. 





Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:43 | 4012325 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Nice job man. It's interesting how this has played out so far. All the best to you with your moves.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:02 | 4012396 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Like with Bear Stearns and the following fiasco in the fall of 2008, it seems we are being played again with the "deeflayshun" argument. First, hammer commodities into the ground, then crater stocks and then turn the spigots on again full bore as people freak out and demand action.

Let various asset classes rise (like oil, gold and silver) inflate the bond bubble and debase the currency some moar. Then then people say, "Thank God the FED was there to save us again".

Did I miss anything or is this really the "End Game" this time?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:09 | 4012429 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

As far as the story goes, I think this time it's different. They have knocked gold down long enough to say "it seems to be a failure as an inflation hedge, and a failure as a deflation hedge. It has been a shitty risk off asset, and a shitty risk on asset. Basically, it no longer serves a purpose in the financial system".

I don't think stocks are going to crater BOP. Not for a lot longer time than many of the equity shorts and PM longs would like to admit. As for the "obvious credit bubble" in  the other article...take a look at the 10yr JGB, then ask yourself how long this can go on for.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:18 | 4012459 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Yeah, and what happens to gold and silver prices when the miners crash and burn (many are toast in a qtr or two at these levels). They are bleeding out right now to the tune of billions of dollars.

After that, there is no physical available to deliver to anyone, anywhere, at any price. Game over?


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:25 | 4012483 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

The banks will throw the miners a lifeline after they delcare bankruptcy. The miners will stay operational. equity holders will be wiped out. This will put further downward pressure on the price of gold. The banks will secure the assets of the miners, and obviously what comes out of the ground, in return for keeping them operational. So once again the banks will have gotten free printed up money from the fed and used it to buy all the real assets.

This is why LOP ends every post with "roll the guillotines". Because if they don't...this may get really unpleasant.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:27 | 4012495 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Unfortunately, you and LOP could be spot on with that very depressing scenario.

The Banksters might as well put big Bullseye targets on their chests at that time.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:36 | 4012518 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

what concerns me is the idea that as the rest of us fall down the economic ladder we take our anger and depression out on each other instead of where it should be directed.

gold is an insurance policy, we all know it. But being in the business, i can tell you that everyone plans for their heirs with life insurance. But it's usually disability insurance that people don't own, and ends up wrecking them. You need to plan on sticking it out, and fighting your way through. However necessary.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:42 | 4012730 PlausibleDenial
PlausibleDenial's picture

I am also in the business and what I see wiping people out is ltc.  While it may synonymous with disability, ltc care will wipe out a ton of people.  And, for those unaware the filial laws in 29 states are making children responsible for parents long term care costs.  See

Luckily I am in Florida where there are no filiial laws on the books. However, I feel it is coming to theater near us all as the States run out of money. BTW, read "Winning the losers game" by Charlie Ellis particularly the last chapters. 

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 23:10 | 4012790 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

All of you guys do not know how it works. Believe it of not did you know that the Miners actually MAKE MONEY when the price of Gold DECLINES??? Did you know that they make even more money when the price declines below the cost of production as they do not have to spend resources to get it.


It is the TRUTH. The Miners take on massive short positions in the Gold Market. The Banks REQUIRE THIS as INSURANCE on the LOANS for exploration and production. 


Think about it. If I am a miner and I produce Gold then I add to the available SUPPLY. If DEMAND remains constant (or DEMAND grows at a slower rate that the growth of Supply) then the Price will DECLINE as a consequence.


If I know the Future Price is looking forward to a decline (due to increased supply) then it just makes sense to sell it short. That is why the Banks require the Short position.


This, of course, is cancerous in the long term, but, it is all short term as everyone is playing out the "End Game"  


The prevailing attitude in all of the business is, "You need to realize the profits today and to hell with the future because there is no future. I want it all NOW."


Barrick Gold did the same strategy back in the middle 1990s.


Oh I believe in Gold Ownership. I will not sell unless I have to. I am a long time Gold Bug and have been since the 1960s when I was Seven Years Old. (I started to understand it then as I started to collect my coins.)


But I keep reading the same regurgitated nonsense repeatedly. I hope that you find some enlightenment through this.

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 00:39 | 4012981 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Enlightenment? LOL. The miners stopped hedging years ago. They are bleeding huge amounts of cash right now as the cost of production has skyrocketed (mainly energy costs). I have no idea where you are getting this kind of info. I haven't seen anything like that anywhere and I've been following and reading about them for the last 15-20 years. The balance sheets of the miners have been horrendous the last couple of quarters. You are sadly mistaken.

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 12:20 | 4014153 Thisson
Thisson's picture

Yep, miners like Pan American reported a loss last quarter.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:21 | 4012476 seek
seek's picture

We may see a steep, short term sell-off, but no, stocks are never going to crater. Ever. Until they don't trade in USD anymore.

It's pretty clear the stock market has been bolted onto the Fed, just like the Treasury has. They will print/QE/fake taper until the bitter end.

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 00:09 | 4012943 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

They will allow a significant stock market drop, then government will offer guaranteed govt return investment accounts for 401k holders etc...The govt will even offer to replace some of the losses if you flip your stocks over to them for a govt guarantee!!!!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:16 | 4012455 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Hey Fonz - how about a translation?  He was trading the yen and Taco(?) - peso?  Then also trading oil? 

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:24 | 4012488 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

yes he is trading currencies.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 23:16 | 4012830 F-Tipp
F-Tipp's picture

"In related news, non-essential employee was quoted as saying, 'How I be payin for my rent?' This, indeed, was the question."

"We now go live to our news anchor who has never had an actual job and has zero expierience in digging for the truth, which today is a novel idea. Asshole McPantssuit, what have you found out about what the government shutdown is, what it means, and how it affects people?"

"Well overpaid anchor with journalism degree that was taxpayer funded, no one really knows what any of these people do - but we DO know that they are suffering. I tried using a computer for the first time today, but failed to login to an email account that wasn't set up for me. We also believe that the Obamacare exchanges, programmed by the lowest most well connected to a congressman bidder, will be working fine with absolutely no problems or security failures later today."

"We asked this lower income family man how it was affecting him, and this was his response: 'Shit I don't really know what the congress court does, but as long as my credit card is still working, I get my EBT refilled, and McNuggets are still here, I'm good.'"

"As you can see back at the station which is fading into irrelavancy, we are all looking to congress like helpless sheep to save us from this fake crisis. Back to you, sligtly ethnic quota filling hire."

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:18 | 4012235 Just Observing
Just Observing's picture

Only 9% to go...........

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:19 | 4012236 90's Child
90's Child's picture

That's 91% out of 100% that's still a fucking waste, bunch of crony fucks.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:19 | 4012242 Racer
Racer's picture

That is the real reason the market SOARED...

because the gobblegobblemint shut down

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:22 | 4012246 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Oh lawd. Feels like I'm on vacation.

Keep it shut.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:20 | 4012247 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

The Fed is NOT a division of the government.  Typical MSM brainwashing...

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:36 | 4012300 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



U.S. Postal Service and the Federal Reserve are unaffected.


All of your paper belong to us.


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:04 | 4012406 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Still waiting for my package to arrive 13 days after being sent "priority" from Maui (cost me $40 for around 5lbs).

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:21 | 4012250 Jethro
Jethro's picture

So, 91% of the IRS is non-essential. Interesting.....

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:49 | 4012356 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

Hmm, does this mean that there will be 91% less enforcement, so we can therefore pay 91% less taxes?  No?  Damn, that was a fun fantasy for 2.7 seconds.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:24 | 4012251 grunk
grunk's picture

Most of the BLS stayed home?

Who's going to provide bullshit stats?

91% of the SEC furloughed?

You gotta know porn is being downloaded at home.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:24 | 4012261 wombats
wombats's picture

Too bad its not 99% furloughed.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:26 | 4012267 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Government "workers" are no longer "drawing checks" - working is a huge stretch of the imagination....

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:26 | 4012270 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Gotta be a lie. No way they are going to shut down the one entity sucking us all dry.


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:26 | 4012271 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Typical government decision: you're broke so shut down your revenue source -- not that I mind, just a business observation.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:20 | 4012473 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Just shows how unimportant revenue sources are when you have a Federal Reserve Bank!


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:31 | 4012275 chump666
chump666's picture

Like i said, not so bad.  A test for the great reset.  As for Ben printing filling stock gaps, like i said, it's all for Wall Street.  The Reverse Repo NY Fed hustle (not to tighten liquidity lol) was to keep the cronies funded for the shutdown.

Keep the market bid, sell back at the high ask etc etc etc.  We all know that stocks should be down over 5% on a shutdown. 

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:33 | 4012288 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Ben is going to jump to 100 billion next month just for shits and giggles as gold goes sub $1,200. The two highest viewed youtube's will be "Peter Schiff wss right, part 2" and "Peter Schiff was wrong, part 1".

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:19 | 4012465 chump666
chump666's picture

lol re: Peter Schiff

It's just crazy, but then again when has it not being crazy.  The market is so distorted and out of whack it's kinda scary.  The Fed can go nuts printing, but we could get that total loss of confidence in USTs and the USD.  Could be close to Faber's endgame.

If gold goes sub 1200, imo it would mean all central banks (Asia and Russia) are trying everything they got to keep the virtual money markets bid.  rule of thumb when the markets mattered =  gold smashed, deflation coming.

but gold bugs could have the last laugh, again, Faber is right about gold and confiscation if we are close to a breakdown of all markets.  I dunno about Asia though, they may also confiscate gold.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:27 | 4012493 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

"all central banks (Asia and Russia) are trying everything they got to keep the virtual money markets bid."

This seems to be the big plan.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:28 | 4012277 ledzep213
ledzep213's picture

There is a National Archie's?!?!?!  I bet they have great pork sausage.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:46 | 4012336 grunk
grunk's picture

Only Jugheads are deemed essential employees in the Federal system.

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 09:40 | 4013459 Reader1
Reader1's picture

You beat me to the punch sir.  I want to know where I can find the National Archies, too.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:31 | 4012282 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



 Hell, thats pretty good! Only missed it by 9%.


I'm with the Government, spare a dime?


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:30 | 4012283 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

I'm not even sure why some of those are even government isntitutions. Endowment for the humanities and Art? You mean I've been paying for dipshits with useless time wasting things to run around wasting money on fingerpainting?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:51 | 4012367 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

Heh heh, they don't use mudane mediums like paint these days.  Art is now a "performance" with lights and sounds that you have to experience.  But yeah, we're paying for it.  And yes, they are dipshits.  Pretentious dipshits.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:59 | 4012390 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

" Endowment for the humanities"

That's code for porn......they are checking on how well endowed the humanities are.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:00 | 4012393 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

That's not even the most exhaustive list of agencies or sub-bastard nested hell spawn.
I saw shit on on list like the Udall Foundation. Total bullshit.
The list also had breakouts for 15 divisions of USDA.

Here it is...

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:53 | 4012772 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Oh lord, there goes my blood pressure....

I think it's time to load my rifles and get ready for the moron stampede if this shit is the swan of negro flavor.


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:32 | 4012284 NOZZLE
NOZZLE's picture

Anyone here ever keep working for someone who could temporarily not make payroll.   

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:56 | 4012780 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

I don't work without someone putting money down for me even spending time to consider their proposal. They are paying me for my time, not me paying them for their consideration of employment.


I think this is a distinction that many people have never been taught and why so many people do not understand the value of their labor.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:31 | 4012285 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Couldnt happen to a better bunch of assholes.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:32 | 4012286 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

All tax audits are being rescheduled for the next election day.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:32 | 4012290 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Maybe CONgress can hold a bake sale - Cmon, Nancy P., start baking....

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:41 | 4012323 One And Only
One And Only's picture

I don't want someone who looks like that near my food or in my immediate atmosphere.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:33 | 4012293 chart_gazer
chart_gazer's picture

Just remember, as soon as they stop the theatre and end up funding everything they said they weren't going to fund, all these dudes will get paid retroactively.  This is just for show folks.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:53 | 4012369 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

...Not this time, but people have to call. 

For all you cynics, calls stopped the missle attack on Syria. 

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:57 | 4012783 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

I'm pretty sure there was a bear wrestling ruskie involved in that.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:41 | 4012315 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

91% of IRS. THAT'S RAYCISM. (If you ever had to call these scumbags you know what I mean.)

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:14 | 4012316 moonstears
moonstears's picture

IRS works for the banking cartel, ultimately...Show down between DC and Wall ST? DC finally realize their honorable predecessors "took they powah an give it to tha bankah gangstaz??" Mr Soros please advise(you skum-shit fucker)

TARP....rememeber that? Bernanke gave $700 bil to save "us" then gave $700bil+ for "swaps". Remember when Congress approved that other $700bil plus, for the swaps? No? Right, they didn't. Question is...who controls US currency, then?  DC's been had(for almost a century, now).

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:40 | 4012322 ArisAron
ArisAron's picture

Boehner + Reid = Boereing.


Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:01 | 4012333 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Export Import Bank?

Niggah what is that?


haha. No shit.

"The Export-Import Bank recognizes the importance of minority and woman-owned businesses and has created a business development team that works solely with these businesses. “They provide hands-on guidance to small businesses, woman and minority-owned companies that wish to export and/or learn how to qualify for and access Ex-Im Bank assistance."

Why is it that there are no programs for White Men?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:16 | 4012649 hoos bin pharteen
hoos bin pharteen's picture

Export Obama!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:48 | 4012348 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Implement a consumption tax  with no more than three categories. (i.e. food, electricity, water = 2%, durable goods = 5%, captital goods = 3%)

Require that any and all other provisions in the taxcode, ostenibly to address TEMPORARY market conditions, can not exceed 1 page of form and one page of explanation, For every person. Including those corporate persons.

Pay the IRS agents a full wage and benes for the rest of their lives to NOT fight against the american people. Kinda like how the USA pays nations around the world Billions to not fight each other.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:18 | 4012656 sosoome
sosoome's picture

I prefer the Constitutional way. Tax the States per the census, and restore State representation in the Senate. Most of the bullshit would cease.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:44 | 4012742 geekgrrl
geekgrrl's picture

I might differ a bit in the details, but I definitely think consumption taxes are the way to go.

People shouldn't be taxed on their labor, and businesses shouldn't be taxed for facilitating trade and filling human needs. Nobody should have their property taxed, and nobody should be coerced to buy a defective product from a private entity (a la Obamacare) under the guise of a "tax."

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 12:55 | 4014316 Thisson
Thisson's picture

Nor should taxes subsidize one form of production over another, or one form of good over another, because that distorts markets and intereferes with the most efficient allocation of goods.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:49 | 4012349 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Yes the bankers will be pissed because if you look at the back of any check made payable to the IRS you will see that it has been endorsed as "Pay Any F.R.B. Branch or Gen. Depository for Credit U.S. Treas. This is in Payment of U.S. Oblig." Yes, that's right, every dime you pay in income taxes is given to those private banking families, commonly known as the FED, tax free......Hey, HEY, HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, we're not getting our money!!!!.........

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:06 | 4012414 UncleFurker
UncleFurker's picture


I google-image'd that phrase expecting to find photos of endorsed cheques but couldn't find any. It might be a hoax?



Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:49 | 4012350 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

If the .gov works so well without the extras, why have the workers come back?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:50 | 4012354 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Excellent. Now lay them off.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:51 | 4012357 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

Essential oBUMMERcare Euthanaisianist working overtime.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:51 | 4012366 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Bittersweet...I have tax stamps for five surpressors and two short barreled rifles pending that are now going to be further into BATFE limbo land. This will add lots more time to the clock. I'm sure rubberstamp joe whatshisname isn't considered "essential" in the shutdown scheme, by any stretch.
Guess I'll have to be rowdy until then. If she goes completely tits up, I suppose the stamps won't matter and the law won't either not that it should in this case, but that would be 1500 FRNs down the drain...along with the rest of it.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:00 | 4012589 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

Don't feel bad I'm waiting on a new Stag Arms model 8 right now with all the trimmings.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:03 | 4012590 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

I'm an idiot

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:52 | 4012370 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

Actually we don't need the IRS. I wrote a letter telling the Cheespope to just go ahead and print the 4500 bucks I'm gonna owe this year. Saves us all a lot of hassle.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:53 | 4012373 UncleFurker
UncleFurker's picture


332000 employees for veteran affairs? WTF?



Wed, 10/02/2013 - 09:20 | 4013416 WarPony
WarPony's picture

VA operates the nation's largest integrated health care system, with more than 1,700 hospitals, clinics, community living centers, domiciliaries, readjustment counseling centers, and other facilities.

Plus two unfunded bull-shit wars and "peace-keeping" (read: puppet master bullshit) operations around the globe.  Mongo but pawn ...

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 20:58 | 4012381 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

332000 Employess for veteran affairs?  Yeah, and that's only the day shift......

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:00 | 4012394 Heroic Couplet
Heroic Couplet's picture

Elizabeth Warren: "GOP can't win elections, can't win in Congress, and can't win in the courts, so they resort to taking hostages."

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 21:17 | 4012454 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Hate to hear it 'cause Warren is(was) actually quite an economist IMO. Some of the best alive are ladies.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 22:05 | 4012603 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Look at Brooksley Born, she wasn't an economist but figured out Alan Greedscam and Larry Summer's game.

She of course was blackballed by them for it.

Wed, 10/02/2013 - 06:11 | 4013154 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

Watch out for the senators and con-gresscritters being blown up as heroes. Warren, for example, wanted to make GMO labeling "voluntary." Uh-huh. Now why would anyone do that?

Ted Cruz's wife is a Goldman Suckenstein VP.

Look it up.


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