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Obamacare Launches... And Breaks

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 10/01/2013 11:51 -0400

One can't help but feel like the Republicans are going to get the blame for this, but:

OBAMACARE EXCHANGES DEBUT WITH WEBSITES DOWN AND STATE DELAYS
U.S.-RUN EXCHANGE MEANT TO SERVE 36 STATES SUFFERS DELAYS
HHS SAYS WORKING TO FIX EXCHANGE ISSUES AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE

Whocouldanode?

New York Exchanges have (not) seen better days:

Oregon down... (via @SenTedCruz)

California down... (via @HarrietBaldwin)

For some Healthcare.gov process breaks at 3rd step... (via @RandyCarder)

For others, it's just not there... (via@CongHuelskamp)

Need help? Nope (via @mwbowler)

Finally, MSNBC's own coverage:

- advertisements -

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:52 | 4010051 Dollar Bill Hiccup

Hope the ambulances aren't linked into this system yet.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:58 | 4010055 hedgeless_horseman

System Down! But....Honey BooBoo needs a new pig heart!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:59 | 4010089 wee-weed up

Paging Miss Piggy...

Miss Piggy...

Please pick up the white courtesy phone in the lobby...

Miss Piggy...

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:03 | 4010109 GetZeeGold

The doctor will see you in 6 months.

The death panel will see you now.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:06 | 4010134 Sofa King Confused

OT....but, Has anyone heard anything about Panama banks that were supposed to reopen today?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:11 | 4010158 WarriorClass

It was designed to fail.

http://americandictators.blogspot.com/2013/10/despite-government-shut-do...

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:26 | 4010212 Not Too Important

What if?

Obamacare was voted on in response to the financial crisis, and the insurance companies all saw their investments fall below acceptable thresholds for payouts of their customers claims. .gov bailed out the banks, and some insurance companies (the ones that were allowed to become 'banks') but .gov couldn't risk bailing out all the insurance companies. On paper, they're all completely broke.

Now, it's possible the plan is to make Obamacare look as bad as possible, have as many companies as possible eliminate employee healthcare coverage and move everyone to (very) part-time, then pull Obamacare (delay it to infinity) and let the states pick up the tab for everyone's healthcare, now that all the unemployed and uncovered part-timers would have to go to the local ER for healthcare. It saves the corporations (campaign donors), it saves the Feds, and the states get stuck with the multi-billion dollar bill.

There is no question that .gov knows how Fukushima and the resultant multi-trillion+ medical costs are going to work out. The easist thing to do now is to screw the states.

Could this be whazzup?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 13:05 | 4010332 Joe Davola

They built that!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 13:47 | 4010560 TruthInSunshine

[Man enters standing room only ER with blood squirting laterally from his jugular & presents his ObamaCare card to attendant.]

Attendant: "Thank you. Please take a seat & we will call your personal identification number when it's your turn. Please note that we're presently understaffed and beyond capacity, so it could be a while."

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 15:49 | 4011184 mmanvil74

Reminds me of what it feels like to deal with a developing country government, only worse. At least in most developing countries today, you can walk in to a private clinic, talk to a doctor, have them run your tests, and get a prescription if needed, all for under $100 with NO insurance, and you'll be out in less time than it takes for an Obamacare agent just to answer the phone...

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 13:31 | 4010182 Cthonic

They closed for a couple of days back in 2012 to upgrade IT and ATM systems. Might be related.

https://www.banconal.com.pa/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id...

During these two days , Banconal KEY cards are disabled for use at ATMs of both the body and the rest of the country's banking network . The cards also may be used for payment at affiliated stores (supermarkets , pharmacies , restaurants , gas stations, etc. . ) Or point of sale , on the dates indicated . < / P >
<p> " This suspension is necessary to implement Phase II of the upgrade process of the technological platform of the entity that was 30 years and last year began to modernize, to provide a more optimal service to all customers and continue to increase branch network in the country, "said Dario Berbey , General Manager Banconal .

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:06 | 4010138 Stackers

All thats missing is some Flight of The BumbleBee background music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13qeX98tAS8

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:09 | 4010156 DoChenRollingBearing

Bulletin: SNAP Cards are working! Obama's base is secure.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:04 | 4010114 ACP

36 states, huh? The government is so very consistent is fucking everything up, it's amazing.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:08 | 4010145 Stackers

What do you expect when we have Pres. that's been to all 52 states ?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:09 | 4010148 pods

Well 36 states out of 57 is only 63% down, not too bad?

pods

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:37 | 4010250 Cruel Aid

That 57 state slip up was accurate in that there are 57 muslim states.

He forgot where he was

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 13:16 | 4010407 Taffy Lewis

Yes, 57 members in the Organization of Islamic Conference:

http://www.infoplease.com/spot/oicstates1.html

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 13:27 | 4010476 Cruel Aid

I find it amazing that the press missed this obvious freudian slip.

Not

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 16:51 | 4011523 Agent P

I'm going to call bullshit on this whole fucking thing. They need people to sign up for this for it to be successful, right? So, what better way to get people to do that than to make them think that demand is so overwhelming that it's crashing the servers? OMG, everyone wants this bad, so I must too...baaahhhh...follow the herd. I say the server crashes were orchestrated to generate demand buzz...no different than Apple paying people to stand in line on iPhone release dates.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:01 | 4010092 DoChenRollingBearing

Obamacare = P.O.S.

America! You got what you voted for, LOL!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:12 | 4010167 WarriorClass

At least that's what the Diebold voting machines say...

http://americandictators.blogspot.com/2013/10/despite-government-shut-do...

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:56 | 4010295 therearetoomany...

Obama = P.O.S.

There - fixed it for ya

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 13:10 | 4010359 DosZap

Do, bro you got it!.

Obamacare = P.O.S.

Wait till these poor folks find out just how cheap this AIN'T gonna be.The .Goober website qyuickly removed the FREE OscamaCare for the site, LOL.FREE?With BIG O?,stop it your killing me!!!!.

Now what Plan do you want to suffer the most with?.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:08 | 4010150 Dollar Bill Hiccup

Oh no, I'm eating lunch and almost lost it on that one ... eeeewwwww.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:29 | 4010202 El Oregonian

I think I just heard Barry say: "Hey! It's Bush's fault."

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 15:55 | 4011234 Hobbleknee

Centralization. What could possibly go wrong?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 17:05 | 4011572 lakecity55

Did you read the fine print?

There are no "ambulances" in Blowcare, unless you mean a POV or public transportation.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:54 | 4010058 CaptainObvious

Healthcare + government = 403 error

Did we really expect anything else?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:57 | 4010080 duo

you mean "Error 403, government not found"?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:39 | 4010252 The Navigator

Now THAT would be Eutopia.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:05 | 4010131 CPL

The whole contract was driven by corrupt government nepotism and connection instead of a proper bidding process. Colour everyone unsurprised at what happens when people scale to run a MMORPG blog and instead launch a web application intended to service 340 million people.

It's okay though, if anyone is concerned. CGI, Oracle, IBM and SAP Presidents will get their bonuses for their poor implimentation of a national application. Fucking embarrasing. The IT industry is built of smart people, but why is it so fucking dumb when putting a price on the table and explaining SCALE.

Oh well, 'Quality' is job number two and they got what they paid for. Fuck'em.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:15 | 4010171 malikai

There's plenty of smart people who can build fast, scalable, secure applications.

The problem is, none of them work for .gov. And those who contract for .gov know entirely too well that you don't get paid in that business by getting the job done. You get paid by dragging out requirements and bloating development costs.

Above considered, it's been a stunningly successful project, ZeroCare, for those contractors on the job. And it will obviously continue to be a smashing hit in the years that follow.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:27 | 4010208 NOTaREALmerican

Re: And it will obviously continue to be a smashing hit in the years that follow.

Shhhh!!! If you tell everybody about the scam, we'll need to get another one.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 16:30 | 4010294 CPL

Absolutely.

The CGI (cough...Anderson/Cooper) value add service of 'there's a hole in the process, get a guy'. 80% header costs in most of them is pure fluff. Turned IT contracting into a complete joke. Not consulting, contracting. Difference is I would hire a contractor to build a deck, I would hire a consultant to talk about options on the deck. And it's always best to have a contractor that is your consultant, rather than your consultant that becomes a contractor. Just making that clear as mud for everyone.

15 years ago if any project took longer than a couple of smart boffins and two months with cross training you'd question the sanity of the person on the other side of the table. It's the whole point of a contractor. Build it and leave documentation. Move to next gig. Somewhere in there the demented idea of making employee's out of us was a good thing. If someone is in contracting it's the flexibility of options to lend a hand and make some bank. Of course half the time is hustling for a gig unpaid, but that's the cost of business and nothing to change there. To get paid you have to get up and go bug people.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:11 | 4010157 Renewable Life

WTF........I thought .gov was this righteous, efficient entity, that did Gods work for the people??????

You mean this shit won't work?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:57 | 4010297 CPL

CTRL+F4 should fix the problem in any browser.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:56 | 4010065 Cdad

We should probably move quickly to plan B...JP Morgan issued healthcare plans.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:58 | 4010078 CaptainObvious

Somewhere, Jamie just cracked open a bottle of Moet & Chandon at the thought while simultaneously creaming in his pants.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:56 | 4010066 BliptoP3

Everyday I thank God I don't get the amount of government I pay for.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:28 | 4010189 NOTaREALmerican

Re: I don't get the amount of government I pay for

That's the difference between the smart-n-savvy people and the dumbasses.

The smart-n-savvy people get ALLOT more from the government than they pay for.

The government hands out 2 trillion buck each year, and guess what: some people actually GET this 2 trillion bucks. Those of us getting loot from: Big-Ag, Big-MIC, Big-Road, Big-Water, Big-Airport, Big-Energy, Big-Ed, Big-House, Big-Fin, Big-OldFart, Big-OldFartHealthcare, Big-AntiDrug, & Big-PoliceState are really really really happy with spending the loot the dumbasses give us.

The secret of life is running a scam or participating in one.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:58 | 4010304 SilverRhino

Downvoted because it SUCKS that you may in fact, be correct on this score.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:56 | 4010067 FieldingMellish

All I can say is.... lolz!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:57 | 4010072 surf0766

backward bitchezzzzs

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:59 | 4010075 Normalcy Bias

How long will it be before some Democrat shitbag blames these 'glitches' on the shutdown?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:03 | 4010116 wee-weed up

The dog ate my healthcare!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:58 | 4010083 q99x2

I met very few people or small businesses that did something, anything because they were supposed to. That whole thing is retarded.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:58 | 4010086 bnbdnb

I'm a programmer. I'll fix it I guess. That will be $1 million.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:59 | 4010096 Normalcy Bias

This is govt work. Start asking for $500m and go from there...

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:05 | 4010129 bnbdnb

Of course! When I'm through "fixing" it will be.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 13:39 | 4010535 quasimodo

Do I get to supply the basic tool set for 500 large? I won't mark it up much, I swear.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:02 | 4010104 CaptainObvious

You're thinking wayyyy too small. Government contractors charge $50 for a pencil.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:04 | 4010111 bnbdnb

I never said it would stay fixed.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:06 | 4010142 CaptainObvious

Funny, that's what the programmers who designed these exchanges said, too.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:11 | 4010159 bnbdnb

I would never! ;)

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 13:14 | 4010390 fingulas

Any competent programmer knows how to fix this mess. It's the BA's and .GOV program managers that are making a total mess of things.

Hint: It isn't going to get better any time soon.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 11:57 | 4010087 derek_vineyard

O wants to appear that he means well (he doesnt give a fuck about anything but his ego)

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:31 | 4010232 XitSam

O wants to appear that he means well which is why he always goes golfing in a time of crisis.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:00 | 4010098 Surging Chaos

Murray Rothbard is laughing in his grave.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:00 | 4010101 stant

cross bred mule and elephant , cant haul shit but sucks up money

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:07 | 4010115 Yen Cross

How can anyone sit in the Senate and listen to that hunchback cocksucker Reid? I would rather listen to a herd of cats playing on chalkboards, than his squeaky pussified voice! That POS is seriously MENTAL!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:12 | 4010162 freedogger

They don't, they just play online poker the whole time.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:14 | 4010174 redux2redux

Nuke Nevada for electing him!

Him and Pelosi are proof positive we NEED term limits!

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:30 | 4010221 NOTaREALmerican

Re: Him and Pelosi are proof positive we NEED term limits!

Yeah, term limits have worked great in KaLiFoRnIa. Our government works perfectly.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:14 | 4010176 CaptainObvious

+1 for "hunchback cocksucker". I nearly choked to death on my sandwich while reading that.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:04 | 4010117 replaceme

I swear it's got an invalid certificate, also - I wouldn't touch it, not with my PII,

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:26 | 4010207 Non Passaran

Is that crApache Web Server in the first screenshot?

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:04 | 4010120 IridiumRebel

Release the Free Shit Army! Go get your free fucking health care cuz it's affordable now....at the expense of a "penalty" and me getting half my pay shirked so you can shit out more cockroaches to ride the free train.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:05 | 4010127 q99x2

No sense in fixing the sites. No one will go to the site anyhow. Maybe they only think the sites are down because nobody will visit them. Sort of like my sites.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:04 | 4010133 One And Only

Bush's fault

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:07 | 4010137 Tsar Pointless

I'm taking the Pittsburgh Pirates over the Cincinnati Reds tonight in the play-in Wildcard Game in MLB.

Honestly, it has nothing to do with my living in the Steel Shitty. It has everything to do with guesswork.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:12 | 4010170 IridiumRebel

Go Reds.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:51 | 4010280 Meat Hammer

They have Dusty Baker who always finds a way to lose in the postseason. They're screwed.

Go Bucs.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:18 | 4010181 smlbizman

how 'bout dem steelers.....love from b-more

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:22 | 4010139 NOTaREALmerican

As long as no OldFarts are dying from these "glitches" it's perfectly ok. The OldFarts are entitled to their perfectly running socialist healthcare scam.

Get your goddamn government hands off my government motor-scooter, I'm entitled to my socialist scam because I'm an OldFart.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:10 | 4010152 Cthonic

http://imgur.com/a/Lm40k#0

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:15 | 4010178 syntaxterror

Dear Free Shit Army,

Happy Obamacare Day

Sincerely,

"The 53%"

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:20 | 4010185 rosiescenario

I had been wondering why all the republicrats had fought against obummercare....just step aside and let the public experience the Feds inaction.....

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:19 | 4010187 roadhazard

They can't handle all of the traffic of people that don't want affordable health care. Funny how they are charging for, "free shit".

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:20 | 4010191 ShrNfr

Ill. is ill. You can do a bit of medcaid I guess, but going anywhere else breaks. Security questions do not work, chat does not work, site does not work.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 16:58 | 4011550 lakecity55

It is not supposed to work.

Does anyone really think this had anything to do with health insurance?

It is part of a plan to crash the whole country.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:22 | 4010195 IndyPat

So this is what they mean when they say denial of service...
Lulz.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:24 | 4010204 Cachao

Clearly this is Bush's fault

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:27 | 4010216 Clowns on Acid

Too many hits from IP addresses in Mexico.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 12:34 | 4010242 CaptainObvious

Must be, since the USDA website has gone dark and they can't search for food stamp information.

Tue, 10/01/2013 - 13:21 | 4010427 Blano