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Shut Day (Number 2) Humor: A Nation Laughs At Itself
For a "sick" nation, it seems laughter may just be the best medicine... especially as they say "a day without laughter is a furlough day wasted."
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Laugh or cry: The .gov shutdown began the same day as BammyCare. Just sayin'.
What are the odds?...like 365:1.
Almost like Benghazi ;-)
fuck u john stewart ....insider pos
Approaching the 48-hour mark on federal shutdown.
Three questions:
1) Has anybody (other than federal employees) been inconvenienced?
2) Do any of you feel less safe?
3) Do any of you feel less free?
As for me: no, no, no.
My sister is (allegedly) going to lose her mil disability (Iraq war injury), pension and GI Bill at the end of the month....
She was a stupid-enough sheeple to go warmongering on behalf of an absolutely corrupt state; she deserves the injury, and all the suffering, and none of the payouts. Everyone else who fits the same bill deserves the same. Die, you war-loving statist motherfuckers.
This comment is dispicable. You should be ashamed of yourself.
And as Mark Twain once said, "There is no laughter in heaven". So just where are these funnies comming from now?
THE BS on the govt shut downs continue. Check out bonds, after the fed released they are going to keep buying BONDS KEEP GOING UP. Very telling.
the bonds looking like a bullish flag here on daily => http://bit.ly/170Xmdq
Where is Heisenberg? I need some blue meth to get through this.
If you don't mind me asking, why the hell would you want to be so damned awake and alert through this anyway?
Blue V's with a chaser of Jack Daniels to wash 'em down might work better in this situation.
Or... you could just skip the chemical enhancements, get a good night's rest and stop tuning in to this shit. It's way worse for your than any drug.
'A Nation Laughs At It's JOKE Of A Government,' is more like it.
What if there were no tomorrow? Question congress should ask itself. All we need is uncle sugar
does whiskey count as sugar, cause i sure gettin the diabetis.
Nothing really seems all that funny right now. I know we should be able to laugh, especially at ourselves, but the only thing I see as funny is that most didn't see it coming.
What? This is hillarious. If you are taking this joke seriously then you have drank the Kool-Aid (TM).
Government is a scam. If they were to remain closed life would change dramatically...for the betterment of all. Liberty and Freedom from a Tyrannical bunch in Washington is a dream come true.
I told my neighbor that they furloughed 92% of the Internal Revenue Service (Of course that was a stroke of Government brilliance. Lay off those that actually PRODUCE REVENUE??? Of course nothing is really brilliant when it concerns Government...THANK GOD. I am pleased when they are inefficient so that they cannot screw you over.) But I digressed. He, and I am certain that he represents a vast majority, laughed and responded that he hopes that they are furloughed FOREVER.
It is great. Keep it closed forever. That will be something to which I can take the ultimate joy.
If you think what is coming is a joke, I need to know what YOU are drinking. We all do.
You are seriously on the wrong blog.
If, by some slim chance, you mean that this will all not end well then sure few would disagree. But, no matter what, the longer this insane global charade of creating and spending Trilions that do not fucking exist continues the worse that day of reckoning will be.
The idiots that drfit onto this site astounds me. I liked the earlier days when a few hundred 'reads' was a good day :/
The IRS does not produce revenue. That is a stupid comment.
No, it's not funny at all.
Nothing sick about wanting to get rid of shitty policy and get debt under control.
god, dont save the queen...queen obama that is.
Shut the bitch down and make all those
government employees get a real job where they actually have to produce to get paid.
I hear Amazon is looking for 70,000 PhDs ... with previous experience.
Ummmm....it's a nice notion, but the work done by the now on holiday government employees has made it so that...there are none of those real jobs around to be had.
no pay for goobermint workers - now let's see who defaults/loses their house first
Put them to work tearing up the beltway and demolishing all the corporate buildings there, staring with he banks and insurance companies.
my butt needs scratching, like, all day long, and i will only pay them with excrement samiches.
Unfortunately this isn't a joke! Soon enough the joke will be on us...Prepare accordingly
It isn't a joke?
What is a joke, pal?
A joke is just a funny way of telling an uncomfortable TRUTH.
A LAUGH is a physiological nervous response to the acceptance of the TRUTH. It crosses all cultures and is UNIVERSAL to the Human Experience.
Ahh...I am just joking, right?
BTW...I have already prepared. Have you? If not your time is running out.
OK Johnny come lately, I'll take your abuse even though you have on your profile a statement that reads as such "The only clue that I have is that I do not have a clue." Tall Tom I thought the NSA was closed today? Why are you still working?
I have not ever been paid for what I publish.
I have boudht Gold and Silver and have been prepared for this eventuality.
Furthermore I resent being called a PEDOPHILE.
THIS IS WHAT THE NSA, as they are the MILITARY, ALLOWS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXtLSMauefg
TAKE NOTE THAT THE TITLE IS SPANISH. I am certain those Latinos will give you a welcome that you deserve.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKb5NXWi_B4&list=FL8QcbSiNx5aG21vlMz8A9wQ
Pay attention to what he says after two minutes.
http://www.asiantribune.com/news/2009/10/03/rape-iraqi-women-us-forces-weapon-war-photos-and-data-emerge
A house divided against itself falls, pal.
NSA means No Sex with Adults after all.
I am trying to SAVE YOUR LIFE, PAL.
You're a fucking idiot! Hows that bitch. You can't even spell words correctly. I know all the Fascist Companies and Banks farmed out their customer service centers abroad but I can't believe the NSA did too? They got too many trolls out here today to even have a good thread..
Dude, you just lost the f'n plot.
No, that is not the definition of a joke. And that is not the definition of a laugh. You can try to make up your own reality, but it's only in your head.
Are you fuckin kidding me. Its despite government that my life still bears a resemblance of normalcy - not because of it. Answer me this - name one thing this parasitical institution provides society that it does not use resources taken from others ?
God I envy you. To my generation, a parental government system is normalcy :(
I feel very uncomfortable right now. Please help.
yeah its afooking hoot , except when i tell my kids to be thinking about getting the hell outa the usa, taking a trip soon to scope out a place down south
Yeah. I want to be in a Foreign Country where I do not speak the language and STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB.
Those Foreigners will be more than understanding when they find out that THIER CENTRAL BANK RESERVES, the US DOLLAR, is worthless because we DEFAULTED. Of course thier Banks collapse as a result and will wipe out the Savings of those foreigners.
Yeah...being an American...they will not take out thier anger upon me because I am EXCEPTIONAL. They will be so understanding after all. They will not be angry. Yeah. Right.
In the United States you will be able to blend in and maybe keep something if not profit from the collapse.
Tom, I wanted to thank you for the links above. Now I also want to say that you are completely wrong about being an ex-pat. There are two hundred countries, bro--plenty to choose from, and variety like you, and I, cannot imagine. Besides, traveling is the fastest education in the world, perhaps tied with ZH. And languages can be learned, dude, even without much effort: immersion works. Staying in the USuckAss, you are a morally complicit serf to the government, and you will be a victim of the zombie apocalypse because the inevitable social meltdown will affect everyone, most of all the people who are physically there. I have warned some people here where I live to prepare for America's collapse, and those closest to me are stacking gold and silver too. That's not a tough sell in Taiwan. When all dominoes fall, they all fall, but the people here have a generally greater respect for each other and humans in general than I have witnessed from American society.
Taiwan enjoys independence because of America.
America's capitulation to China is why Taiwan is not a member of the UN.
I'm an american in a foreign country, and despite having lived in several where I did not speak the language, I did not "STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB". Rather, when people found out I was an american, they were a lot more friendly to me, especially after hearing why I left
Of course, a baboon's red ass sticks out wherever it goes, but most americans I know who live in other countries seem to get on quite well... those who wouldn't tend to not even get passports, and often line up to be the first in the new walmart that's opening up.
And when the dollar collapses, and the paradigm is forever changed, they will know ME, and I will help them to profit on the situation on the ground in the US. You aren't going to be able to profit, and the blown bubbles will decimate ANY illusion of "equity" you ever had... you'll be waiting to sell your business, home and daughter to the Chinese, Russians, Arabs, or anyone seeking to get out of the same hole they've been in for centuries...
Oh, wait... that's happening NOW.
Just an observation, but has anyone noticed how flawlessly
ZH is to navigate today? Is it just a coincidence that the NSA has been furloughed as of yesterday and now I have actually gone 2 hours of continuous Zero Hedgery and not been kicked off?
Lucky you. I have had to switch from Internet Explorer to Opera and back. I have had to close down Opera and Internet Explorer twice. I have had to hard reboot once. Opera sent me to Google upon a reboot and every time I type in zerohedge.com I ended up right back to Google.com
So it is not just me??? Thanks for the confirmation.
Tom, there's also so-called PORTABLE <browser>... just fill in, almost any flavor has its own portable version. If you don't like the native portable version, try the 3rd party one, just look for "portableapps" or just swap the last.s.for.z :-)
hint: try portable one of pale moon; srware iron; waterfox and so on.
btw how the world becomes more peaceful even though just a tick of time when the bogeyman is taking up a siesta for a while... :-)
Just a great day in the land of the free.
take away obama, chef, chauffer, secutiry, driver!
Obama, Boehner and Reid need to just go Choom a spliff and everything will be fine.
What a circus - with highly paid clowns pretending to do useful stuff. I've been LMAO at how seriously they take themselves and how important they imagine themselves to be. All three rings of this clusterfuck could disappear and only the sub 60 IQs would blink. The private sector would swoop in and provide several different choices of the same services at half of the price - or less.
Look at the bright side FiSHeS - this is world class "Egos Gone Wild" entertainment for next to nuttin' - as long as you got PMs for the long haul
MuCHoS GRaCiaS to the Tylers for the front row seats : - O
Gotta make more popcorn...
Nothing Jimmy Fallon can ever say can ever be construed as funny.
This cannot go on. Without government who will feed the zombies?
The zombie's SNAP is prefunded for a year yet. After that, you get to feed the zombies directly. Sorry.
..But not so shut down as to keep .gov's armed enforcers home. I was filling up water jugs today at my favorite roadside spring when a green and white, pimped out SUV adorned with K-9 stickers and a USFS logo slows down to check me out. Oh yeah, keeping the ole homeland safe from those water jug slinging terrarists. As the costumed ass clown looked me up and down all I could think was how ,not even sequester can get rid of this countries virulent police state.
Damn, I applied online for the position of Congressional Barber ($80K/yr) under my true name, Robespierre Jones, but lost out to Edward Scissorhands. Guess he's a cut above.
Change your name to Sweeney Todd and many will support you.
I find Wall Street coming to town to demand Big Government be reopened funny actually. my first thought was "is this a trick?" then I thought..."maybe this is a sick joke." then the President came out demanded Government be re-opened or Wall Street wouldn't like...so then I thought "I get it! sarcasm!" but then I thought...from who's point of view? is the joke on us? on them? on the entire Planet and whoever holds our debt? I disagree with pretty much everything the Pub's be doing here...but at least they're consistent: "they want Government Jubilee." the whole enchilada. the "no deal is our deal deal." putting not just the Diss...but the Fun...and viSION...in DisFUNction. they could add a sister network to CSPAN...DissFUNctionvision. or maybe "C-Section." it would be like a far more entertaining version of The Office...only with power to launch nukes and move battle fleets. "I'm sorry Damascus but we have to shut you down today." or the more regular occurrence "Helloooo Tokyo!" I have been following Billionaires Battle for Launch Pad Space all summer actually. (this is actually true in case anyone was wondering out there.) oh and of course a perennial fan favorite "a day in the life of the Energy Department." I'm telling folks...Government is too complicated for one guy and a few Department heads to run. I think it's time People Power chimed...with all comment controls disabled. forget "to heck with you!" it's time to take this game to the next level...to "we like you but here's what you should be doing." nagging, pestering...being an otherwise pain in the ass. forget shutting the Governmet...let us run the place!
All Pantomime like Bernanke passing a clean bill of health on the Banksta stress tests!
I still don't understand why the FED doesn't just send every adult taxpayer $3 million.
Stimulus and money for Chili's, Target, WalMart, liquor, hookers, blow, a GM, some granite countertops, and condoms.
"a GM"
That turned my smirk into a laugh. They'd better be sending that 3 mil in vouchers.
25,000,000 federal and state employees...for what?
2 days of partial freedom is not enough. We want more.
"Obamacare vs. Canada: Five key differences" - Globe and Mail
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/commentary/obamacare-vs-canada-five-key-differences/article14657740/
'Officials say that about 70 percent of all intelligence personnel have been forced to take unpaid leave, including 4,000 computer specialists. '
and
"This is a dreamland for foreign intelligence services to recruit, particularly as our employees, already many of whom subject to furloughs driven by sequestration, are going to have, I believe, even greater financial challenges,” said Clapper.
www.rt.com
the world is laughing. lol