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Bill Gross' Advice On Why You Should "Run For The Hills"
Gross: Don’t run for the hills b/c of the #shutdown or the debt ceiling – Run b/c the economy is slowing by itself.
— PIMCO (@PIMCO) October 3, 2013
And of course buy some 5 Year bonds while you are running preferably.
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Obligatory, bitchezzz!!!
with 2 Minutes to Midnight as an encore!
I think "Run for the hills" and "There's gold in them thar hills" require and insist on one another (in this case anyway). There's just something about hills.
And by hills I mean gold.
They destroyed the world.
The entire Los Angeles area, already hospital facilities have begun to crack under the strain and civil defense authorities think the situation is much the same across the entire country.
Martial law is now nationwide.
Major cities in all parts of the country, New York, Los Angeles, report plague victims falling dead in the streets, in their homes, at their work. The first symptom appears to be severe choking, followed by immediate unconsciousness.
Death occurs within minutes…..
We've had decades of predictive programming, we're ready for anything now!
Reporting from our friends at Sultan Knish:
The United States of America (1787-2013) came to a swift and sudden end last night as the government shut down. The nation which had survived Pearl Harbor, the War of 1812 and Jimmy Carter ceased to exist.
The savage population, which had only been kept in line through a policy of rigorous gun confiscations, food stamps and Green Energy programs unleashed its pent up rage in a spree of riots, looting and mass murder that had only previously been encountered in Somalia.
"The government shut down! We can do anything we like," shouted Sam Hasbley of Grassley, Iowa, while tearing the tag off a mattress despite an explicit warning label forbidding such a dangerous course of action. "Tear yours off. The government is shut down. It can't stop you."
Eyewitnesses spoke of further horrors. On a quiet street in suburban Massachusetts, a man brought out a set of highly illegal lawn darts. In Maryland, there were allegations that an entire family had begun digging ditches to collect rainwater runoff.
With the fall of the government, citizen activists took it upon themselves to chronicle the culture of lawlessness. Men played Gibson guitars made of wood imported from India, but not finished by Indian workers. Women bought cold medicine without a photo ID. Children went hours without hearing lectures about the environment.
The victims were many. In Chuckolod County, Colorado, a transgender person was denied access to the Ladies Room. Frantic calls to the Justice Department were forwarded to an answering service in Depar, India, instead of Doneparre City, Indiana. In Brooklyn, New York, an overweight Senegalese woman was unable to obtain a sign language interpreter while waiting on line to collect her free Obamaphone. In Olegon Falls, Florida, the National Museum of Native American Yarn was forced to shut down depriving schoolchildren of an educational experience and three hours throwing bits of yarn at each other.
And there was worse to come.
The entire city of Detroit was seized by the Michigan Militia backed by Canadian air power. The village of Frankfurt, Illinois passed several ordinances in explicit violation of Title MXVIII of the Federal Charter of Approved Fruit Naming Ordinances. North Dakota seceded and declared that it was now the nation of Bismarckia, elected a Kaiser and petitioned to join OPEC.
An army of Mongols or possibly local residents dressed in Samurai helmets raided the Federal Dried Peach Reserve in Georgia hauling away thousands of tons of dried fruit and tossed them to waiting crowds. The end of food stamps in Martho, New Jersey led to an outbreak of cannibalism despite efforts by ACORN volunteers to bring order to the proceedings by soliciting volunteers to give up their privilege and be fed to the people.
In Massey Hills, Virginia, a gang of politically incorrect sports mascots entered a workplace and implicitly hurt the feelings of several minorities. Their calls to the Justice Department were forwarded to Eric Holder's private voicemail along with frequent messages from his coke dealer demanding to be paid, like right now, and requests for weapons manuals from several Mexican cartel bosses.
In Madison, Wisconsin, the entire United Organized Educators and Librarians Union attempted to commit mass suicide on the front lawn of the Madison Center of Union History to protest budget cuts and school closings. Their efforts proved in vain when the gasoline they poured on themselves in a failed attempt at self-immolation turned out to be apple juice.
In Caplow City, Maine, President Gerald Ford, long thought dead and believed to have been buried in Michigan, appeared and declared himself to be the nation's new leader. While some suspect him to be an impostor based on the plastic texture of his mask which has a hastily erased message reading "Impeach Nixon" on the side, the city fathers have chosen to embrace the possibilities offered by Emperor Ford and have set him up in style in a presidential palace on the eight floor of the Caplow Arms Hotel.
In the midst of all this chaos, a weary nation's eyes turn to Washington D.C. But since the shutdown, which also shut off all power, water and press releases to the embattled city, no word has reached the outside world of what is taking place there. The last message was a smoke signal dispatched by Elizabeth Warren from the roof of a burning Capitol Building. An expert in Native American smoke signals decoded it to read, "I told you so. Now we're all doomed."
The only surviving member of the national government outside the dead zone is believed to be Vice President Joseph Biden who showed up on a beach in Waddiddi, Florida, where he has spent hours entertaining himself by building an elaborate 1/100 scale model of the White House out of sand. Attempts to inform him that the tide was coming in have fallen on deaf ears.
As the nation descends into chaos, one thing is clear. The government shutdown has once again doomed us all. Just like the last 17 times.
It's so hard to find a bad Maiden song - man they're great.
Maybe so but with the Fed's finger on the scale..
finger temporary lifted...and placed on the other side for a few...till o'shithead saves the day...
didn't bill just say we would NOT have zirp 4evah. incredible idiot on board.
If you run up this hill, you are liable to limp back down.
If I run up the hills in my area I would pass out from lack of oxygen.
It's not slowing, it's accelerating in reverse.
It's not flying, it's falling with style.
Its a Lead Zeppelin crashing into the Levee...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEKkJHSO8A0
It's not falling, its fucking you in the ass.
And an accelerating economy is double-plus good! Happy dayz are here.
Why the concern?
Oh I forgot, it's because they've used every option in the book and now that rates are at zero, and have been for what seems like forever, they'll have to go negative on rates.
Its like a boat running its diesel engine soley on the oil / lubrication after running out of actual fuel. It may work for a short little while but then the engine is toast and one will likely need to find a fire extinguisher pretty soon. It's an option that always ends in destruction.
Or better yet- you know that moment when Wiley Coyote runs off the cliff and levitates for a brief moment while flapping his arms in a vein attempt to stay aloft?
That's where we are now.
Well said!
LOLZ! Better to stay away from any instruments back by the "full faith and credit" of the US Gov't. Looking at the $ index, I would not want to hold any of this toxic shit.
Making my pounds look good right now.
Especially the pound price for PM's.
Lock ,and load up time soon./
Oh Bill you putz. The centrally planned markets have nothing to do with the economy.
He's just be say'n that to yank yer chain.
http://connect.history.org/it-worth-shutting-down-federal-government-uphold-principle#comment-1819
Vote shutdown good, shutdown bad...just for fun...no economies will be harmed in the making of this poll.
http://www.safehaven.com/article/31295/ready-for-qe-five-its-already-here
Ready for QE Five? - It's Already Here
The sad truth is that the primary function of the Fed and Treasury has now become the sustention and expansion of disastrous asset bubbles. In fact, while Mr. Bernanke officially acknowledges QEs one through three, the truth is he has embarked on QE V. What's QE five all about? Putting a lid on U.S. Treasury yields.
The reason for this is our anemic economic recovery has been predicated upon artificially boosting consumption, which is 70% of US GDP. That consumption is, in turn, predicated on borrowing; because we don't have any real income growth on the part of the consumer. The borrowing has been predicated on government's ability to build upon the asset bubbles in stocks, bonds and real estate. And the creator of all these bubbles is our central bank, which is the progenitor of this deadly-addictive cycle. The Fed does this by providing ultra-low interest rates and through the massive monetization of government debt.
To prove we have learned nothing from the previous Great Recession; we now have a situation where the FHA will most likely need a $1 billion bailout for the first time in its 79 year history. But why do taxpayers have to bail out the FHA, which provides insurance to lenders such as banks and other financial institutions? The reason is because our government has once again compelled lenders to make loans with next to nothing for a down payment, to individuals who can not afford to purchase a home--doesn't this all sound chillingly familiar? Therefore, we have subjected ourselves to yet another bubble in housing, where home prices are once again rising at double-digit rates and marginal home owners are just a few points higher in interest rates from foreclosure.
It's not just house prices which are in back in a bubble. Stock prices are also growing at double-digit annual rates. These double-digit gains in stocks are taking place in an environment of little earnings and revenue growth. Meanwhile, Treasury bonds offer only half of their average yields going back over 40 years. So, for the first time in our lives we have three bubbles that exist together -- equities, bonds and real estate. But the real catastrophe this time is that these bubbles will become exponentially larger than previous episodes. Therefore, when they burst the devastation will be many times worse.
Re: Therefore, when they burst the devastation will be many times worse.
You had it right, up until that last sentence. Because of the experience gained at creating bubbles, when the current bubble does burst another can be created.
So, in actual fact, there's absolutly no problem that can't be solved by the Fed and the automatic bubble machine.
The hills are full of crazed pot growers around where I live.
Might have to run for the ... beach? Oops it's readioactive.
Nothing left but to run for the pub. $3 pints and free buffalo wings after 4.
Work Seaweed into your diet.....
Maybe your chicken wings?
Pretty sure the seaweed has plenty of radiation in it, too.
Why would you want to irradiate this fine cougar?
No Meant that really. Read somewhere that Seaweed helps the body remove radiation. Now if we could just keep the seaweed from getting irradiated before we eat it....
At least the crazed pot growers are contributing somewhat to the local economy to help offset the increased medical bills from the radioactive seawater lapping at your shores.
All kidding aside my heart goes out to those of you on the west coast. It ain't fun being an involuntary subject in a mass radiation experiment.
It's a slow-motion train wreck here. We'll be off the rails and half way down the ravine before anyone notices.
The local media are utterly useless. Total disgrace. Not like they can change what's happening in Japan but the lack of any interest or concern is illustrative; nobody wants to be the first to point out the 800 pound gorilla sitting in the middle of the room. They can play that what-me-worry Alfred E. Neuman act for a long time around here in La La Land.
read a story of an actual Cougar attacking a jogger out your way once so take care in running anywhere as well. "the forest has eyes" and it could be predatory felinus maximus.
Maybe that explains Bill Maher
What,, no nautical war stories?
Now I am really concerned
Start to be tired of this muppet of Bernanke called BILL GROSS
And of course buy some 5 Year bonds while you are running preferably.
Yes, actually. BONDZ BITCHEZ!!
You'd almost think he wasn't trying to sell you something.
So when does the Fed decide it's time to double down on QE?
i think that was last year actually. i know it's hard to keep up.
Market needs to crater first and get the sheep into a lathered panic. Then we'll get a FED announcement of "temporary" measures which will send the Dow up 500-750 points. Gold will shoot straight up from just above $1,300 to $1,365 and then it will get dumped on again to finish the day even. Paper gold that is.
How could we end up in such a mess with so many geniuses out there?
It was the financial geniuses like Rubin & Summers that got us to where we are now.
And security geniuses like Clapper & Alexander will lead us safely into the future.
Right now, K-HEN is being pumped full of a double Mocha 5 Shot Latte, and is listening to this ...
Bill Gross for FED CHAIRMAN...heck he can do the job while running PIMCO!
New Federal Loan Program announced by the Treasury Department.
A new Federally sponsored loan program is being announced today to help
spur consumer spending. The new loan program will be called the Federal
Consumer Lending Program (FECOLP). Interest rates will be fixed
every year by the Treasure Department, with an initial rate of 0.05%.
The new loan program calls for interest payments to be deferred. On selected
items, initially purchases over $10,000, principle payments
can also be deferred for up to 10 years. This is expected to jump-start
the ailing US economy.
FECOLP authorizes banks and other lending institutions to sell the loans
directly to consumers. The loans are then immediately purchased by
Fecol-Mae - a new Government Sponsored Enterprise (GSE) - which packages
the loans into government guaranteed AAA rated securities, selling them on
the open market. The Treasury Department expects FECOLP Loans - known as
- Fecal Loans by the Consumer Lending Industry - will help spur economic
growth, create jobs, and end the economic malaise the country is currently
experiencing.
Part of the Fecal Authorization Act also provides for State Fecal
Guarantee Agencies which - modeled on the widely successful Student
Lending Guarantee Agencies - would help guarantee the Fecal Loan's AAA
bond rating.
Classic!
you joke now....
How can the economy slow on its own - while the Fed has its foot on the gas pedal? Next thing you know, someone will tell us that QEternity does not help the economy!
When the Fed runs out of even crap to buy will it then decide to push the reserves held at the fed out the door? They could do this by eliminating the interest paid on reserves.
This could increase money velocity, even if only briefly, at a time when the government isn't doing its part (ie borrowing and spending).
I assume this would be inflationary but maybe they'll try since they can't get any motion with their other efforts.
Looks like it's time to plan Your Escape to Ecuador...
http://yourescapetoecuador.com/relocation/visas-and-immigration/