This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Have Questions On Obamacare? Call 1-800-F U-CKYO

Tyler Durden's picture


Presented with a stunned level of WTFness... the Obamacare Help-Line - available 24/7 is 1-800-318-2596 as we have been told a number of times by the President... it seems someone did not do their due diligence on what that telephone number's mnemomic is...

1-800-F U-CKYO

Indeed, Mr. President, 1-800-318-2596 to you too.



- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:33 | 4018864 CPL
CPL's picture

What are the odds of that happening?  LOL!

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:33 | 4018874 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Cali should do what Tennessee is doing: They're now offering new, improved free ObamaSmartPhones to entice the FSA to sign up for ObamaCaress (aka frequent & brutal rectal exams):

"Say hello to Obamacare phones.

In Tennessee, those shopping on the new health insurance co-ops could end up with more than just some health insurance. They might even walk away with a free smartphone.

The Nashville Business Journal is reporting that Community Health Alliance, Tennessee’s Obamacare health insurance co-op, is using the prospect of a free phone to encourage folks to enroll:

Community Health Alliance, Tennessee’s health insurance co-op, is running a unique promotional program to drive enrollment in its plans for sale on the exchange: health insurance in exchange for a smartphone.
As part of its Community Health Connection Program, CHA is offering qualified individuals an LG Lucid 2 4G smart phone (or equivalent model), a phone plan and tech support, included as a cost of their health plan benefits. The phone plan includes unlimited talk, unlimited texting and 1.2GB of data.
The idea is to make it easier for providers and patients to stay connected, but it will also help CHA keep track of its member population, many of whom are expected to be new to the health insurance market.
“Members will have the phone number for their CHA representative pre-loaded in their phones and can quickly get answers to questions about their policies,” said CHA Chief Operating Officer Judy Slagle in a news release. “At the same time, we will be able to connect with our members by phone, by email or by text almost instantly with health tips and reminders.”
The co-op received a federal loan of more than $73 million.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:47 | 4018961 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

IDIOCRACY wasn't meant to be a documentary

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:51 | 4018973 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Unlimited minutes (for those long, nightly conversations with your doctor). Unlimited texting (just to say "waz up, doctor man, yo?").

Plus 1.2GB of porn surfing data.

All for free, yo!

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:54 | 4019001 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture




Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:00 | 4019019 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Whoever did this is a true American hero.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:01 | 4019034 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

* Wireless service provide by NSA

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:08 | 4019066 Ying-Yang
Ying-Yang's picture

Currently on


The System is down at the moment.

We're working to resolve the issue as soon as possible. Please try again later.

Please include the reference ID below if you wish to contact us at 1-800-318-2596 for support.

Error from: https%3A//
Reference ID: 0.cd27817.1380817315.4570f13

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:23 | 4019142 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

sort of liked the original version of this article

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:59 | 4019290 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Tyler was like "ahhhh, fuck! Alright, alright, I'll keep it PC."

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 15:09 | 4019663 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I disagree and think it's 10x more funny with the number.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:59 | 4019021 Patriot Eke
Patriot Eke's picture

With the way he likes to flip people off, this is certainly not a surprise!  He's a child and a puppet.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:59 | 4019028 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Phone companies are WELL aware of what certain number combinations can spell.  There is no way they didn't at least warn them that series of digits was a bad idea.  Or maybe .gov said "give us the cheapest 800 number you got."  And that's what they got.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:00 | 4019027 El Diablo Rojo
El Diablo Rojo's picture

Except the # thing is all wrong. Other than that, it's funny.

#1 no letters associated with it.

#2 ABC

#3 DEF

#4 GHI

#5 JKL

#6 MNO


#8 TUV


I stopped on the U, and realized this was a ruse. Nice source checking Tyler, or if it is an Onion-esk post, at least announce it.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:06 | 4019049 hyperfocus
hyperfocus's picture

I guess you didn't notice the space between the f and the u.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:06 | 4019053 chdwlch1
chdwlch1's picture

El Diablo Burro - Work it out again...SLOWLY (or try actually calling it). It's true.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:10 | 4019081 El Diablo Rojo
El Diablo Rojo's picture

Damn it. You’re right. My apologies to the Tyler’s. I will keep my other post up, as a reminder to myself, don’t be so smug.




Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:22 | 4019139 Blano
Blano's picture

A refreshingly honest comment.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:09 | 4019325 Mr. Magoo
Mr. Magoo's picture

I think it was intentional

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:32 | 4019174 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture


This is all real world edition of SouthPark.

In a few days ITS GONE.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:07 | 4019070 Cyclerider
Cyclerider's picture

I picked up my phone and reached the same conclusion.  Nice try.  Too bad it's not true.  The 1 in the number is a problem, since no letters are associated with it.

Is ZeroHedge this sloppy with their financial reporting as well?

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:03 | 4019299 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

the "1" is the middle finger.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:12 | 4019340 serog
serog's picture

You had to pick up your phone for this?

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 15:34 | 4019801 luckylogger
luckylogger's picture

1 translates into a space- didn't you see the space in the 3 digit number. It is reported right.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:09 | 4019073 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

Look again:



The article shows a 'space' in the '1' location

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:34 | 4019406 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

You are correct, but you are still gonna get downed a whole bunch.

The number 1 should be in there, and not just a space, even though it reads better - it is just incorrect.

So 1-800-F1UCKYO is STILL a great number!

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:01 | 4019031 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Only in AmeirKa.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:50 | 4019196 onelight
onelight's picture

Somewhere, in a realm of light and joy and mirth, George Carlin is laughing his ass off...truth is stranger than fiction, someone said.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:25 | 4019148 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture      Fool,  you sign up or you suck, everybody in Cleveland got Obamaphone  sucka...,.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:52 | 4018997 Jethro
Jethro's picture

It's like you're a mind-reader....

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:54 | 4019007 Uinta
Uinta's picture

On my phone it's 1-800 E T-aLYn. Must be the death star GDP connection.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:20 | 4019368 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

IDIOCRACY wasn't meant to be a documentary


Best damn comment on ZH since I don't know when.


Idiocracy was funny the first time I watched it. I think I'm gonna try it again.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:18 | 4019115 sunnydays
sunnydays's picture

Is it any wonder that Obama set up a 800-FUCKYO number.  He is always shooting the bird at the American people and the country.  Lots of pictures of him doing it.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:39 | 4018897 CPL
CPL's picture

It's fair, there are two policy options for the health care clients now


  • inch at a time
  • all at once.

Which is distinctly different from the private sector offering.


  • all at once
  • inch at a time.

See.  Completely different.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:40 | 4018913 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Dear NSA,

Please inform the IRS that I will be deducting a new keyboard from my tax filing for 2013 due to excessive spewage after seeing this phone number.


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:57 | 4018986 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Thats how 'they' work and communicate with each other...with symbolism.


I can understand a newbie saying, "Well thats all just a coincidence" (and it of course may be just that too). However, when the coincidences happen over and over and over again and again, start to wonder.

And then - it starts to stick out like a sore thumb.


Even in this tiny example of the words 'fuck yo' being spelt has a strong case of being on purpose.

If you type in the TTY number they have posted '889-4325' it = 'TTY - HEAL' - so, is that another coincidence that the word 'heal' is spelt out with numbers for a 'health site'?


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:01 | 4019038 CPL
CPL's picture

Well, if it gets changed to 1-800-EAT-DICK then we'll know that all the old 800 porno numbers are the only things left in the lease pool of 1-800 numbers.


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:03 | 4019046 Confused
Confused's picture

There is no doubt this was done on purpose. Hahahahahahaha.


Fuck these guys. Seriously.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:55 | 4019266 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Actually for the first time in this administration we finally have some absolute honesty. This is why I can't believe it was done on purpose.


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:54 | 4019594 Jena
Jena's picture

I think it was done on purpose.  The hubris is beginning to catch up to the administration and this is just one of the more entertaining features that most will be willing to attribute to 'accident'. 

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 15:39 | 4019838 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

The problem with this hubris is the people may not forget it when they finally have had enough. The French aristocracy and Louis XVI certainly overflowed in the hubris department. They couldn't fathom their own executions or the Reign of Terror that followed. It's amazing these assholes think history has no application to them. They walk among us with confidence and impunity for now.


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 15:16 | 4019698 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Definitely done on purpose, but not by the administration.  This is the work of someone at AT&T with a very good sense of humor, who sadly will probably be fired today. 

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 15:28 | 4019765 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Have to agree. See my comment below.


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:51 | 4018992 Jethro
Jethro's picture

Better not pout...
Better not cry...
The IRS, DOJ, TSA, DHS, Congress, White House, Supreme Court, NSA, CIA, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, BOA, etc...
are goin' in dry....

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:37 | 4018900 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

I called 1-800-FUCK-YOU; and got government pre-recorded message.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:12 | 4019090 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Want to throw the bums out? Call 1-800-Armageddon

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:37 | 4019323 Bear
Bear's picture

 I tried and got  ... "Due to network difficulties your call cannot be completed at this time call back later"

It must be the morons that can't dial 800-F-UCKYO

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:39 | 4019477 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

and how hard to people have to work to pay $100MM in taxes so the govt can syphon off $26MM and slush $73MM out in phones. 

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:35 | 4018875 Induced Coma
Induced Coma's picture

This is so awesome! This gov shutdown thing is working well on so many levels... should have been done a long time ago - and hopefully will be shut down for good.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:44 | 4018949 LedMizer
LedMizer's picture

Last one out of CONgress please throw a match.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:03 | 4019044 ratpack1968
ratpack1968's picture

No, last one in throws the match.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:51 | 4018990 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

The curtain gets pulled away doesnt it?

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:06 | 4019057 Taffy Lewis
Taffy Lewis's picture

From -> Apply Now:

The System is down at the moment.

We're working to resolve the issue as soon as possible. Please try again later.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:42 | 4019213 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Hey do they spell it out on-line ?    They might be shutdown for anti-family lanquage and baiting.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:34 | 4018877 radiotom
radiotom's picture

That ought to get the Blacks to sign up.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:35 | 4018884 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

It sure as hell wasn't an unpaid intern that did that.

Ahhh, gotta love a blatant fuck you from the gub. Why fuck you too sah, merry fucks to you!

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:36 | 4018891 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

By accident? Unlikely to occur naturally in the history of the universe type odds.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:42 | 4018921 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

There are no coincidences.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:04 | 4019045 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

That's right. No coicidences. 

This is not a coincidence either:

US Dollars Vs Monopoly Money (Pic)


They're laughing at us ... but be sure to not laugh back.

Go vote the old guy out and the new guy in. Be sure to wake up and go to work every day and pay into that SS you'll never see. Be sure to obey all the rules, even the new ones you don't understand or even know about. Say 'Yes, Sir/M'am!' when dealing with the authorities who are stronger and smarter than you. Whimper. Whimper a lot. Get some free, exorbitantly expensive health care you don't need and know that your labor d0llars are going to disease management for idiots who intentionally eat toxins all day and who couldn't make a good decision for themselves even when their life depends on it.

Obey, even tho they're laughing at you.


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:45 | 4018948 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

A monkey with a hand grenade ,and  a keyboard.

Dangerous combination,

Just don't ask for his PIN.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:47 | 4018956 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

It's as "accidental" as NSA programs being named after Civil War battles.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:52 | 4018999 Lost My Shorts
Lost My Shorts's picture

Well, at least it wasn't 800-382-5968.  That would have been a coincidence.  I wonder who has that one.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:57 | 4019280 leftcoastfool
leftcoastfool's picture

Jamie Dimon snagged that one a long time ago. When Obama asked if he could use it at their recent meeting Jamie told him to 3825-633!

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:54 | 4019005 buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

Right. The odds are 1 in 10x10x10x10x10x10x10 = 1 in 10 million. It wasn't an accident. It was a message: you tax donkeys are powerless, and you can go fuck yourselves.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:18 | 4019118 Drachma
Drachma's picture

The odds are actually quite better than that, since there are multiple letters associated with each number and certain numbers are limited, but who gives a FUCKYO. Still not coincidental.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:22 | 4019133 buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

No, it's 1 in 10 million. It's a seven digit number.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:29 | 4019163 Drachma
Drachma's picture

Wrong brother. You are assuming that no one else has a phone number already and that the digits are picked out of a hat. Your simple permutation doesn't work here.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:39 | 4019208 buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

If it's a blind draw it's 1 in 10 million. If there are X number of taken numbers it's the difference, so technically you're right. But since it's the government, we can probably assume that this number was already taken, and they usurped it.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:27 | 4019160 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Actually the odds are far, far worse than that because what we're talking about here has the letters in proper order.

If I had to take a rough ballpark guesstimate of the order of magnitude of the odds of something like this occurring by chance, it would be approximately 1x1022.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:01 | 4019267 Trampy
Trampy's picture

If I had to take a rough ballpark guesstimate of the order of magnitude of the odds of something like this occurring by chance, it would be approximately 1x1022.

Baloney.  Please show us how very smart you really are by showing how you chose 1E-22.  But, more importantly, what is the denonimator of that probability?

Probability is unitless, while frequency of ocurrence is a ratio of x per something, usually either a duration of time (e.g. /annum) or per "incident" such as the 0.50 of fair coin toss.

Who cares (or could know) how many telephone numbers of toll-free info lines are created per year by the executive branch?  Answer: only a literal handful of bean-counters, most likely.

Or who cares what are the odds of "something like this" happening per telephone number?

And what exactly are you talking about?  If it's terms considered vulgar, by what definition?  You seem to vastly underestimate the richness of the English language.

We look forward to your reply.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 15:54 | 4019955 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

"One chance in" is implied. As far as how I'm making the guess, it's roughly based off of 26 factorial with a bunch of conservative biases accounting for known limits and unknown unknowns lopped in to make it less extreme.


Your crow, sir.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:42 | 4018898 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

"Obamacare! Fuck yo(u)!" </Team America: Health Police>

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:49 | 4018970 Spigot
Spigot's picture

About the same odds as when Microsoft came out with WindDings font set in 1992, only days after the release of Windows 3.1, it was discovered that the character sequence "NYC" in Wingdings was rendered as a skull and cross bones symbol, Star of David, and Thumbs Up gesture.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:29 | 4019166 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

That's not terribly unlikely; given all the combinations of acronyms and characters in the set, something was bound to turn up that was controversial. So unless you know someone who did it on purpose, there isn't enough evidence there to give even odds that it was intentional.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 16:44 | 4020220 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Really? You did take a basic statistics course? Possibly a refresher course would be of help.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:57 | 4019015 StandardDeviant
StandardDeviant's picture

Somewhere out there is a low-level telephone company employee with one wicked sense of humour...

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:08 | 4019067 monkeyboy
monkeyboy's picture

Haha you just can't make this shit up!


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:35 | 4019188 rabbitusvomitus
rabbitusvomitus's picture

Coincidence, purely coincidence. Now continue bleating, that is all. 

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 17:16 | 4020356 PiratePiggy
PiratePiggy's picture

If it walks like a black swan

talks like a black swan

fu's ckyo like a black swan...


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:33 | 4018867 F-Tipp
F-Tipp's picture

867-53 you're screw-ew-ewd.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:34 | 4018869 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Somebody planned this...

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:00 | 4018915 Dr. Engali
Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:51 | 4018991 Cursive
Cursive's picture


The question is, do they have the balls NOT to change it?

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:36 | 4018873 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Zero is always giving the country the finger.

Of course his supporters eats this shit up.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:36 | 4018879 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture



Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:43 | 4018940 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture




Made it easier for everyone.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:57 | 4019020 kralizec
kralizec's picture


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:35 | 4018881 max2205
max2205's picture


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:37 | 4018886 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Brilliant. At least someone in the Obama administration has a sense of humor. 


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:02 | 4019036 TaperProof
TaperProof's picture

Either a sense of humor or a disdain for the public

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:39 | 4019210 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

The ACA are wise.   And we are unclean.  /sarc

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:12 | 4019341 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

I think it was just some guys behind the scenes goofing around figuring it would never be released to the public.

In the early 80s my husband was working on a software release. One command was to load the tape disk on the computer. The operator had to type HARD On. Then when the disk was loaded, he typed MOUNT. When the release was finished they just forwarded it on to the integration dept because it was their responsiblity to clean everything up for the public. Sure enough they missed it and my husbands group was spanked and told never again to have such levity. I thought it was cute. But I'm a naughty girl.


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:43 | 4018892 4 wheel drift
4 wheel drift's picture



fook mi or fook yu



Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:37 | 4018894 buzzsaw99
Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:41 | 4018919 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

you want #1 fucky?

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:47 | 4018968 RacerX
RacerX's picture

is the
I have seen
on the internets.

at least today.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:52 | 4018995 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

Or as I heard Nancy Peolis call them, "the interwebs."


My half senile, 91 year old mother in law knows about the internet.  These fucks are going to too many "Eyes Wide Shut" orgies or something. 

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:39 | 4019203 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

ACA porn...they handing out phones with cameras....working the angles and cracks...should be online in 4...3....2....1

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:38 | 4018905 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

This is getting so fucking stupid that it has to be deliberate. At some point even the MSM will have to admit that this administration was put in place to fuck things up as much as possible. Will they take it to the next logical step and find out why this is happening? Hell no.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:50 | 4018976 viahj
viahj's picture

Cloward & Piven

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:59 | 4019025 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Don't forget Alinsky...Satan's BFF.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:40 | 4018914 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture


Who said that .GOV has no sense of humor?

Bravo Potus, well done.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:42 | 4019217 buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

He's a twat.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:41 | 4018918 island
island's picture

In WA State the number to call is 855-923-4633.   Most calls are being routed to a vendor site filled with semi-literate people in some deep southern state.  The first question is some variation of "What state are you calling from?"  Then they will read to you from that state's exchange website.  Wow, could they be more helpful!?!?!   LOL

Consider this if you use the Exchange in any of the states that have their own - potentially you have the following bueaucracies to navigate: State (which doesn't believe in responding to customers), Federal HHS, Federal IRS, Federal???, and then the Insurance Carrier.   What do you think the odds are of getting good information or resolving an issue!?!?!?!?! 

All I can do is encourage people to stay as far away from these exchanges as possible, unless you enjoy tearing your hair out. 

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:42 | 4018923 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

THAT'S professional. 

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:42 | 4018924 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Must be intentional.

I mean ACA is a big F U to everyone but the medical mafia, so it's their inside joke.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:41 | 4018925 The Proletariat
The Proletariat's picture

To further add...  if you rearrange the letters of President Barack Obama you get:

An Arab Backed Imposter



Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:41 | 4018926 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:42 | 4018932 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

And the 535 should give us a call at 1-800-GILOTIN. No wait, we'll call them.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:42 | 4018935 The Carbonator
The Carbonator's picture

This is NOT the first time this administration has done this play on words.


During the "debate" on the internet SOPA law folks didn't realise that "sopa" in Greek means "Shut UP!"


These are not random occurances, this administration sticks its finger in your face without you even knowing it.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:48 | 4018966 Jethro
Jethro's picture

In light of the Obama regime, "Greek" seems all too appropriate.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:43 | 4018941 Jethro
Jethro's picture

The Obama Administration on the charm offensive I see.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:45 | 4018943 TaperProof
TaperProof's picture


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:45 | 4018944 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

just shows how surreal everything is, blantently in your face surreal

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:05 | 4019314 Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

Intentionally insinuated into the media environment to heighten suggestibility to illogical ideas.  A form of hypnagogia; this is your brain on Dalí.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:46 | 4018953 chunga
chunga's picture

Every cell, every drop of blood, every illness has already been turned into a commodity and sold on Wall Street as a financial "innovation".

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:47 | 4018955 Palladin
Palladin's picture



Hello, my name is Habib, I will be irritating you today.

Please give me the page full of information you gave to the five previous people who transferred you to me. Thanking you.

Now I will put you on hold for 30 minutes. When I return, I will either hang up on you or transfer you again.

Please to be having a nice day.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:56 | 4019009 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

I used to do call center monitoring.  When we would take over a new call center you would be stunned to hear the crap that goes on.  I cannot tell you how many times we heard the rep say, "Please hold," then hang up.  Then they would say something along the lines of, "fucking idiot."

I heard it many times.  But please note....never twice from the same person.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:46 | 4018960 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

1-800-318-2596 Bernanke!

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:48 | 4018964 thewayitis
thewayitis's picture



  No thanks. If I got fucked any MORE, it would HURT .........


But I am. Because of Private Ins. going UP. I cant afford it anymore.  Arrrg



Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:58 | 4019286 Ropingdown
Ropingdown's picture

Private insurance?  You selfish bastard!  You can afford an ACA policy.  You must afford one! /sarc.


"Affordable Healthcare Act" means "here, have some healthcare paid for by other people, 'or else.' "  Every time I hire help they scream about getting paid on-the-books because they'll lose their Medicaid.  Now they're screaming about on-the-books even though they know (I've explained it) that they'll qualify for even more coverage at about the same cost under ACA.  Of the six immigrants I come in contact with regularly, three moved to the US in their early 40's WITH diabetes, and seem to have joined the underground economy. 


The point of Obamacare is just to squeeze the middle class to subsidize the "poor" and the sick (diabetes from eating and not exercising), as a quid pro quo for setting up the mechanism through which employers can off-load their employee health insurance costs.  Not too subtle, but the voters don't seem to get it.  It is going to be great for equities though, as it rolls out.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:49 | 4018975 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

"it seems someone did not do their due diligence"

or maybe someone did ...

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:49 | 4018981 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Chaos, Barry's plan from day 1.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:51 | 4018983 thewayitis
thewayitis's picture


  Lets try this.....

Yes Obammycare UP Arrow

NO Obammee care DOWN Arrow


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:51 | 4018985 Dr. Bonzo
Dr. Bonzo's picture

I'm calm like a bomb.


                          - Rage

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:51 | 4018994 Moustache Rides
Moustache Rides's picture

"fuck yo couch nigga"

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:31 | 4019169 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

I'm Rick James bitchez.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:49 | 4019248 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

It's a celebration, bitchez!

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 14:12 | 4019336 John Wilmot
John Wilmot's picture

cocaine's a helluva drug

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:56 | 4019008 spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

Indeed, Mr. President, 1-800-318-2596 to you too.


Well put ZH.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:57 | 4019018 NIHILIST CIPHER

The answer to opressive ASSHOLES was demonstrated in Romania on DECEMBER 25,1989.  The MUPPETS had enough and took action. JUST SAYIN.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:51 | 4019254 SMG
SMG's picture

Just remember to get the right people.  Clue..BANKSTERS pulling the strings.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:59 | 4019022 F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

I just called the number and chewed my lunch into the headset and didn't answer the operator. Why? Because 800-318-2596? No, because 800-318-2596!

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 12:59 | 4019024 TXSOONER
TXSOONER's picture

This is NO ACCIDENT. Just look at the Morons Obama gave $ to set this up....Acorn, SEIU.....What would you expect?


Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:02 | 4019042 shiftless
shiftless's picture

Laughing my fucking ass off.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:36 | 4019192 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

ACA is sooo professional.   Where do we send our money ?   Which number ?  Based in the Bahamas ?

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:06 | 4019052 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

that's fuckin priceless!

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:06 | 4019054 Cornholiovanderbilt
Cornholiovanderbilt's picture

Jethro Gibbs rule #83.  "There is no such thing as a coincidence"

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:06 | 4019061 22winmag
22winmag's picture

This is the dictionary definition of a red herring.


You've been officially distracted.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:39 | 4019206 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Some of us can multi-task.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:08 | 4019063 BrotherBroGo1
BrotherBroGo1's picture

I received my letter from BC/BS informing me that I would need to convert my HSA to an ACA compliant policy.  We will now be required to purchase additional coverages that we do not want nor need (i.e. maternity care, psychiatric care, drug abuse coverage, etc.).  My premium jumped from $409/mo to $777/mo.  Apparently, the individual mandate I am subjected falls under the Unaffordable Care Act (ObummerCare). 

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:58 | 4019283 Bear
Bear's picture

You will need the new contraception coverage, because you are being screwed.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:11 | 4019089 chet
chet's picture

What are you a 10 year old?  My god, Zero Hedge has gotten so fucking lame.  


Still losing money everyone?  Lay on some more shorts, morons.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:14 | 4019095 jsmfr
jsmfr's picture

I second the first sentence of this comment.  No basis for judging the second part!

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:57 | 4019275 Bear
Bear's picture

Will do ... thanks for the tip

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:15 | 4019105 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

The GOP/TP/Libertarians are losing the PR war in the MSM.

The Dems/Liberal Message:  It’s about thee Affordable Care Act being sabotaged, using the Budget as a weapon.

The GOP/TP/Libertarian Message:  Obamacare is dangerous, and we are using the Budget as a lever.


The debate should be about the Budget, but the BHL Regime + Banks + MSM have made it about: “Extremist elements hijacking Government and Health Care that is already approved.  They are making a last stand, while denying people affordable health care”

This message is being repeated over and over in the MSM.  BHL+Dems are winning the PR War, by making it about a few ‘extremist’ guys, instead of the Budget.  The GOP is failing MISERABLY at redirecting the Argument to the DEBT-Budget. 

Even when given the chance, their Agents get suckered into a Health/Obama-care debate.  Because they are all running around as solo agents, promoting their own brand for money or re-election, they do not have a synchronized message.  The GOP are fractured and disorganized, the way the Dems used to be.  Their image, brand and agenda suffer accordingly.  Their Majority Whip needs to be replaced, and their PR consultants all need to be fired!

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:24 | 4019144 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Speaking of the Budget PR-War, here is Jay Leno from last night: 

Leno:  Do you understand this government shutdown thing?  I know it’s about Obama’s Health Care Plan,  but the Republicans are the ones making us bend over.  So I’m not sure… [laughter] Yeah, exactly!

Well, and because of this shutdown even the Smithsonian Institute is closed.  And as a result, tourists who come to Washington and who want to see historical relics, are now being sent to John McCain’s office.

You can see the effects of the shutdown all over town… President Obama is now down to just ONE teleprompter.  That’s how bad it is! 

It is so bad, that the animals at the National Zoo are being auctioned off the Hometown Buffet.  That’s how bad it is!

It is so bad, Iran will now be forced to negotiate with Dennis Rodman.

I tell you, it’s hurting everybody… In fact Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry are now being forced to use the same Botox needle.  That’s how bad it is!

At the TSA, they are making passengers fondle and grope themselves.  That’s how bad it is!

I tell you, it’s so bad, a lot of government workers are now watching reruns of Breaking Bad just to get the Meth recipes.  That’s how bad it is!

It is so bad, John Boehner can’t afford tanning cream anymore.  He’s just rubbing his face with Cheetos dust.  That’s how bad it is!

It is so bad, Harry Reid is being forced to change his own embalming fluid.  That’s how bad it is!

You know, Harry Reid held his press conference today, where he talked about his phone call with John Boehner… [chuckles] let me show you the first part:


Reid: “I just finished a telephonic conversation with Speaker Boehner…”

Leno: “A telephonic conversation?  I was surprised he didn’t go like this [gestures use of early phones with separate earpiece and mike] Hello, Gladys?  Yeah, Gimme Murray Hill 51919 now.  Hello?  [pause] Telephonic!? [laughter, applause]  I worry I also had a Twitter-phonic conversation.  You know, when two Members of Congress have a telephone conversation, it’s not telephonic.  It’s moronic. 

Leno: “How many of you think we should just fire useless politicians?  We have a sign right here.  It says “Fire Useless Politicians”.  Holds up sign that reads “FU Politicians”.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:26 | 4019150 Bobportlandor
Bobportlandor's picture

Obama just today said 318-2596 social security.

Thu, 10/03/2013 - 13:37 | 4019195 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

SS #'s are hard to remember when you have 5 of them.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!