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Friday Humor: "Breaking News"

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 10/04/2013 17:15 -0400

Just when you thought they couldn't stoop any lower...

(via @dorseyshaw)

(h/t AM)

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Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:02 | 4023392 robilla

Was it a long walk? Perhpas off a short pier?!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:04 | 4023407 insanelysane

He keeps running into those temporary fences with the signs that say this open area closed.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:09 | 4023428 James_Cole

Someone at the Onion is weeping right now that reality has caught up with them.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:11 | 4023448 pragmatic hobo

I think they are trying to drive onion out of business.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:19 | 4023484 synergize

Holy SH%&*&%! Now, I know what i'll be watching tonight on CNN - the coverage on the "Firefighter saving the cat from a burning building" can wait until Sunday evening.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:31 | 4023528 knukles

I told Mrs K and she giggled "What losers".
I'm not sure if she means CNBS, Obie or both. I'm leaning toward the latter. And frankly right now, don't give a damn.

But Listen Up You Jolly Bunch
Danger Awaits

If everybody keeps making fun of these dickwads and viewership falls to unprofitable levels, the Only Recourse Will Be Support by People Like You, NPR Funding.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:40 | 4023570 MisterMousePotato

Because ... Obama.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-sdO6pwVHQ

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:54 | 4023616 knukles

Maybe he's just as fed up with all this shit as we are?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:00 | 4023635 TruthInSunshine

***LAMESTREAM MEDIA BREAKING NEWS ALERT***

MSNBC's Chris Matthews is reporting that Teleprompter Obama has "broken wind" in the White House Rose Garden, and that "the resulting odor had such a wonderful aroma, that it put the surrounding roses to shame."

***THIS HAS BEEN A LAMESTREAM MEDIA BREAKING NEWS ALERT***

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:16 | 4023670 Cruel Aid

lol wb7 you see this?

Thanks truth, I needed that

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:29 | 4023700 The Big Ching-aso

I feel like I'm in Alice in Wonderland or maybe even Kansas.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:43 | 4023738 Pegasus Muse

Misread it. Thought it said,

"Obama the grump, lost in thought while taking a dump."

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 17:38 | 4023903 I am more equal...

Obama goes on a walk because as the leader of the free world his skill set calls him to be a field hand.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 21:27 | 4024594 mjcOH1

"Obama goes on a walk because as the leader of the free world his skill set calls him to be a field hand."

Was he chewing gum while walking? Holy shit, that is news!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:44 | 4023740 remain calm

He is going to jack off, because their is no way he fucking that ugly bitch he call his wife.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 18:39 | 4024097 TeamDepends

Shoo, Reggie Love takes care of walking the Wookie. He also plays Frisbee with Valerie the Bat-Faced Gorgon.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:15 | 4024203 buyingsterling

I'd like to see results of DNA tests on 'Obama's daughters'. I'd bet an ounce of gold that at least one is not the fruit of his rancid loins. They look like they have different fathers (from different species). You could put them in a lineup with 8 other 'youths' and no one would pick them as being sisters. But I'm sure they are lovely young ladies, and not reflective of the tyrant scum that are 'raising them'. And I'm sure we will be spared decades of news coverage of their activities as they grow and mature into pure political poison. It's enough to make you want to self-immolate on the national mall. Is self-immolation a pre-existing condition? And since the cops didn't plug the guy, have we just seen the best strategy for suicide bombing, light up first?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 17:34 | 4023881 Oquities

my favorite is when" the news" reports on the latest addition to the McDonald's menu. solid reporting.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 20:40 | 4024481 Cleveland Steamer

Speaking of Chris Matthews and "broken wind"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45JDRn47MnU

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:38 | 4023725 Kirk2NCC1701

If they report him going to the Bathroom, it's time to pull the plug. Or put one in them.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:04 | 4024160 akak

"President Obama flung his poo at hostile reporters during a press conference today, confirming suspicions about his genetic background."

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:24 | 4024235 max2205

I bet someone lights themselves on fire while he on his walk...oh wait

Sat, 10/05/2013 - 11:32 | 4025531 toady

Someone reported that a black man set someone on fire and obama was stopped & searched, but then they realized he was president and let him go.

They told him not to leave town.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:09 | 4024177 Zero Point

Media "personalities" are higher on my list for noose night, even than politicians.

I mostly feel tired disgust when I think about the political class. Media types make me genuinely furious.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:31 | 4023534 Say What Again

Did someone follow him with a little baggie to clean up the mess he left on the neighbor's lawn?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:20 | 4023489 margaris

don't you guys get it?

They "broke" the news, they "broke" the meaning of news.

That's what "breaking news" really means.

Like every sociopath they are very honest and open about it, lol

They are messing with the information they feed to the sheeple.

They "break" our news, and our spirit and body, if we let them.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:50 | 4023754 NotApplicable

I was scanning the radio dial a few minutes ago, and caught NPR discussing this same breaking news.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 17:06 | 4023804 Herd Redirectio...

0:40 seconds in. It'll cheer you right up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5IBXgxBEs8&list=PL555B78A365541612

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:48 | 4023590 debtor of last ...

You do the talk, you do the walk boy.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:28 | 4023698 Motorhead

According to Senator Diane "Rich Bitch with Rich Hubby" Feinstein, they are not journalists at the Onion anyway.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:11 | 4023452 BanksterSlayer

Ditto. I've been feeling really sorry for The Onion right now. How do they keep ahead of the incredibility curve when their Onion content makes more sense than whatever is really going on? Everytime we read a headline anywhere, we all have to stop and ask: Wait, is this real, or is it Onion?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:35 | 4023546 Jumbotron

"Wait, is this real, or is it Onion?"

Quantum reality states that it's both. And it only becomes one or the other when an observer looks at it.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:40 | 4023566 James_Cole

Don't despair too much, somewhere along the way Onion evolved from satire of current events to accurately predicting the future.

http://crasstalk.com/2011/03/the-onion-predicts-the-future/

http://boingboing.net/2013/07/31/onion-accurately-predicts-gop.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqggW08BWO0

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/26/the-onion-predicted-miley-cyrus...

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:53 | 4023617 MisterMousePotato

the last one about miley cyrus is profoundly amusing.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:58 | 4023772 ziggy59

Fiction used to be stranger than truth, now?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:02 | 4023642 Canadian Dirtlump

accredited times actually broke the story lmao.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:34 | 4023542 NaN

Hey, it's safer than driving.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:38 | 4023568 GolfHatesMe

Not safer than O driving, he is walking 3 holes to the left to find his ball

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:53 | 4023762 astroloungers

critical mass has been reached

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 21:59 | 4024671 ToNYC

Nuclear Serfing achieved in das Kapital coup d'etat.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | 4023410 smlbizman

.....and life was saved as ten thousand cops kill 14 yr old on skateboard as he does reverse 360 molly..with a fakey.. pointing towards capital..

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:26 | 4023519 Jumbotron

Tyler....what algo BLEW UP when this headline crossed?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:01 | 4023634 Money Maker

Clearly they all did....sense this is Bullish for the market.

But in all seriousness, I think this is a hidden message for the people in the "know". I bet this was signal for either ending the shutdown or the shutdown will not end. I just wish I got the memo!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:05 | 4023646 Canadian Dirtlump

nike.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:07 | 4023417 SilverRhino

A walk is breaking news? Now if he was being chased by a lion or a tyrannosaur .... that might catch my interest. Till then the little ass napkin can fuck right off.

Breaking News : Obama actually gets to fucking work

THAT's the headline I am waiting for.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | 4023469 DoChenRollingBearing

+ 1 !!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:23 | 4023494 macholatte

Till then the little ass napkin can fuck right off.

OMG! LMAOROTF!

+10

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:36 | 4023551 Jumbotron

Made me snort ! Can't stop laughing.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:45 | 4023585 Chuck Walla

"Ass Napkin", right into the lexicon. Well played, Sir! Well played!

FORWARD ASS NAPKINS!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:57 | 4023624 Sofa King

The can be found in bulk supply stores, in the catalog next to the toilet seat covers affectionately referred to as Ass Gaskets.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:13 | 4023667 Jumbotron

OMG ....ASS GASKET.....stop I can't take it. LOL !!! Sorry, just a little giggly after seeing that fucking CNBC headline and seeing Carlin's clip about magazines from his routine in 1992 on Youtube.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | 4023470 BanksterSlayer

I just spent the last hour listening to today's Pete Santilli show interviewing a well-spoken former member of the Mustlim Brotherhood describing the Obama family's strong ties to the Brotherhood in Kenya, including his Grandma ... and the best the MSM can come up with about Barack Obama is his daily walk?

Get the archive tomorrow of that show:

http://guerillamedianetwork.com/

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:20 | 4023487 john39

obama's zionist handlers and majority zionist cabinet will be utterly shocked to learn that he is a closet muslim. no really, shocked.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 18:54 | 4024134 tony wilson

a weird muslim who only kills 10s of thousands of brown muslims and just loves the jews.

kind of strange yes no turd.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:22 | 4023490 McMolotov

PRES. OBAMA GOES FOR A WALK*

_{*W.A.L.K. = Weekly Asshat Luncheon with Kleptocrats}

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:06 | 4023645 Jonas Parker

"Till then the little ass napkin can fuck right off."

Aw hell - how to I get the ice tea off of my monitor and out of my keyboard???

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:10 | 4023447 Cast Iron Skillet

a plank, you mean?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | 4023462 Normalcy Bias

He was probably just 'cruising.' Tomorrow, we might hear a story about how he's reviewed a Pickle Park (Rest Area).

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:18 | 4023480 azzhatter

Breaking- Prez Oblama gets his daily blowjob from Reggie

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:49 | 4024297 Rogue Trooper

Breaking: Unconfirmed sources have told us that Reggie does indeed take all that love juice down. Further updates will follow. We now cross over to our panel of blow job experts on what the Prez should experience and if this is in keeping with his status and his expectations.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:25 | 4023503 JuliaS

"There's actually a fucking magazine called 'Walking.' 'Look, Dan, the new 'Walking' is out! Here's a good article: Putting One Foot In Front Of The Other!'"

- George Carlin

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:52 | 4023611 SAT 800

Good thing you put the attribution on there; I wasn't sure if that was real or not. Love, Carlin; may he rest in peace.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:56 | 4023623 MisterMousePotato

Too bad he died. Were he alive, with the FCC shut down right now, he could appear live on TV and do what he's always wanted to do.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:08 | 4023660 Jumbotron

"There's actually a fucking magazine called 'Walking.' 'Look, Dan, the new 'Walking' is out! Here's a good article: Putting One Foot In Front Of The Other!'"

- George Carlin

AAnnnd.....here's the VERY clip itself thanks to Youtube. Hilarious !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2PiDtHbLOY

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:08 | 4023652 pot_and_kettle

prepare for the audit... :P

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 20:16 | 4024392 kchrisc

I think that they truncated the headline for size reasons.

It really said, "Obama Goes for a Walk, and He Isn't Wearing Any Clothes. Now the Whole World Knows that Obama is a Puppet"

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | 4023393 CunnyFunt

idem

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:03 | 4023394 JLee2027

Maybe he'll fall into a sewer or something.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:47 | 4023747 XitSam

I've heard that all the manhole covers in DC are now welded closed. That there are sensors if someone does manage to get into the sewers, the guys that 'shoot first ask questions later' all come a runnin'. If you are a utility worker with legitimate reason to go underground, there are a bunch of approvals and delays. It was in WaPo or something.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 20:27 | 4024423 kchrisc

I knew a guy in high school that managed to piss-off the entire football team. When he asked his dad to intervene, his dad told him, "Son, when you have that many people gunning for you, you are at fault and should deal with it yourself."

He took a few lumps but got things worked out and quit doing whatever it was that got him in the mess in the first place.

When you have to have manhole covers welded in place, then well, "You are at fault," and may just want to stop doing whatever it is you're doing to piss-off so many people.

IKEA should sell easy to assemble guillotines.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:03 | 4023395 RacerX

let's hope he keeps walking..

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:26 | 4023512 JuliaS

They must've seen the animated GIF here on ZH few days ago and finally decidede to run with it.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:02 | 4023396 insanelysane

POTUS took a shit.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | 4023415 Clayton Bigsby

There would be some symmetry there - I took a POTUS earlier...

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | 4023468 kralizec

Leaving one is a relief...stepping in one really sucks though!

These shoes were new, damnit! All covered in Obama!!!

Gahhhhh!!!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:02 | 4023399 superflex

What's next.

"President Obama drops a load in Reggie's caboose"?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:23 | 4023496 Bawneee Fwank

ReggieBama love balm flows out and is rushed to market. Lather it upon self and feel lazy, lifeless, and worthless within minutes...Yet you'll feel intellectually superior to all others.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:02 | 4023400 OldE_Ant

Coming up next OBama takes a dump.

And for real thriller TV. Obama goes golfing.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:08 | 4023426 Anusocracy

It certainly won't ever say: Obama has an original thought.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:02 | 4023403 surf0766

I cannot believe they did this

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:04 | 4023404 The worst trader

In one word, pathetic!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:50 | 4023599 NotApplicable

I for one, find it hilarious.

It's as if they've secretly admitted that the whole thing is merely a farce.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | 4023408 logicalman

Well, there's no other news, Right???!!!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | 4023409 Clowns on Acid

Competing with Twitter ?

Cloward Piven loves Twitter, watch it fly.....

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:04 | 4023412 earnyermoney

gonna check out the blood stains from yesterday's shootout.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:51 | 4023602 NotApplicable

Well, he was allegedly stalking her, after all.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | 4023413 insanelysane

Would have been breaking news if FDR was still president.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:09 | 4023441 Bawneee Fwank

lol...Nice!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:50 | 4023604 NotApplicable

AAAAAA+++++ Would LOL again!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:00 | 4023636 knukles

LOL

So inclusive and diverse to include the weak, lame, crippled, insane and mentally handicapped in the day's humor.

The Democratic National Committee would be Proud.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:36 | 4023720 shovelhead

Fuck.

Even Nancy Pelosi would laugh at that one...

If she could.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:50 | 4023751 ziggy59

Shes had so many facelifts, She would crack up if she laughed...

Sat, 10/05/2013 - 09:11 | 4025351 grekko

Wasn't Pelosi in that movie Escape from LA? In the room with Bruce Campbell as the Surgeon General of Hollywood?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | 4023414 sansnobel

Hopefully it was off the spire of the Sears tower

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:08 | 4024174 sansnobel

Oh God you statist cocksucking idiots have no sense of fucking humor....I hope I get first dibbs on you motherfuckers when it comes time to canabalize your sorry asses and turn you fuckers into wormfood.....

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:13 | 4024193 akak

Talk about misdirected rage!

What's the matter, did the pigeons and squirrels in the park stop listening to your tirades?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 20:05 | 4024353 sansnobel

how bout on your fucking Jew head you dipshit would that be a good place? When you free ??? name the time and place?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:07 | 4023420 Mister Ed

I just vomited a bunch of carrots.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:09 | 4024181 sansnobel

Why don't you do us all a favor now that your stomach is empty and swallow your own fucking head followed by the first Lady's Hemoroid?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:07 | 4023423 slaughterer

Breaking news: First Lady Michelle Obama eats 3 lobster tails, and drinks two bottles of Krug.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | 4023466 denverdolomte

Good to hear someone is willingly putting their lips around the TIP of some Krug. /sarc

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:07 | 4023427 sansnobel

Why suicide for the good of the world a sickening thought to you?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:09 | 4023430 slaughterer

Breaking news: Presidential dog gets a bath.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:01 | 4023639 knukles

Presidental Dog dry humps Jesse Jackson's leg.

_{^{(didn't know any better due to the matching hair doos)}}

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:08 | 4023433 Tracerfan

Will they let us know when he takes a dump?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:43 | 4023548 Tall Tom

The News Media does that all the time...That is everytime he opens his mouth. Don't you know that Obama suffers from Orifice-Anus Confusion Disorder..like all politicians? .The symptoms are talking out or your ass and spewing shit out of you mouth. It is evidential. He has been afflicted for quite awhile. I have read that there is no cure and the prognosis is poor...THat means POOR FOR YOU as he was elected and will just cost you money.

You are swimming in it.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 18:05 | 4024003 Parrotile

How long before Obama decides that his position necessitates one of these - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool

After all he is Royalty (of sorts)!! _{(or at least he thinks he is!)}

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:10 | 4023435 slaughterer

Breaking news: Obama decides to upgrade golf clubs to platinum plated.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:09 | 4023440 John McCloy

This must be one of those walks he took before he "changed" his mind on attacking Syria and after Putin put him in the corner.
Now he'll come back ready to deal lol

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:11 | 4023444 beaker

Gee, I see him in a different light now. He must be one of us. He must really care about all of us out here if he's talking a walk.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:35 | 4023550 Blano

If he rolled up his sleeves during the walk, then he's a real man of the people.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:10 | 4023445 Yen Cross

He probably fell of the wagon and needed a smoke or 12, and didn't want the Wookie to piledrive him for it.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:17 | 4023477 DoChenRollingBearing

Nicely put. Humor, fishez!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:34 | 4023538 Winston Churchill

Not enough circumference for a pile.No friction.

Now the piles around the first asshole is a different matter.

Sat, 10/05/2013 - 09:08 | 4025348 grekko

Come on guys, stop denigrating wookies, they do tear peoples arms out of their sockets you know.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:11 | 4023449 0b1knob

I think the point is that he is taking a walk rather than playing golf as he usually does....

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:11 | 4023454 asscannon101

Is it even possible for the media to lick this guy's taint any more aggressively than they do now? Talk about a fucking Cult of Personality. Shit.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:25 | 4023460 Dr. Engali

Why don't the prestitutes just get down on their knees and start sucking this asshole off right on teevee. Im sure the ignorant fucking masses would love it. Pathetic.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:14 | 4023463 QQQBall

Where is Mooshie? She could use a walk.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:16 | 4023472 kralizec

Wookie must be in the yard somewhere chasing balls...

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:17 | 4023473 Pure Evil

So did Moochelle-O need to be let outside?

I hope Obama knows about the Districts leash laws.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:17 | 4023474 jpc578

The last time Obama went for a walk he caved to Putin. Does this mean he is about to cave to the Republicans?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:19 | 4023483 DoChenRollingBearing

That would be acceptable.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 17:47 | 4023937 HardlyZero

Walk Barrie, walk !

Sat, 10/05/2013 - 09:05 | 4025342 grekko

yes sir, and don't come back.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:16 | 4023475 alien-IQ

was he walking on water? fire? in mid air?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:17 | 4023476 omantrader

Where the fuck is bartiromo? preparing for the deposition in the Citbank guy's divorce? she has been taking a pummeling recently.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:21 | 4023485 chdwlch1

Let me know when he takes a bullet...

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:25 | 4023488 halfawake

i feel for the tyler(s) that has to watch cnbc for these purposes. do they rotate so as to not become dumber? or is the big joke on us b/c the cnbcers know they're a farce and zh is their outlet?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:22 | 4023495 robnume

Maybe he walked over to sign up for Blobama-care. Or to pick up that big bag o' money from lobbyists.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:25 | 4023505 ToNYC

Golf is a good walk, ruined in meaningless pursuits. Is this any different?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:25 | 4023506 hangemhigh77

Holy shit!!!! No shit? Crazy shit. Who gives a shit?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:27 | 4023516 hangemhigh77

He's trying to score a bag of weed.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:05 | 4023648 Wakanda

It's called "strolling for choom".

Sat, 10/05/2013 - 11:55 | 4025559 Village-idiot

Just going out to buy some Skittles.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:28 | 4023523 Dewey Cheatum Howe

news flash I am not wearing any pants. News at 11.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:33 | 4023524 yogibear

It makes the algos go crazy bullish. Their tied to CNBS. Something to give the Bots a woody.

It would be nice for hackers get into the HFT bots and make them very trade insanely.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:34 | 4023539 Non Passaran

Hero (1992), starring Barrack Hoffman Obama.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:37 | 4023554 RougeUnderwriter

More Breaking News: http://www.today.com/entertainment/breaking-bad-fans-mourn-walter-white-...

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:44 | 4023743 shovelhead

Oh Fuck,

I was hoping he'd run for President in '16 on the Blue Meth ticket.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:39 | 4023564 Blano

If it was Bush the media would have painted him as being mean spirited and insensitive to the concrete and/or grass.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:48 | 4023594 Atomizer

Obama takes a walk down the yellow brick road. Eyewitness say, East Witch Nancy was caught pitted between affordable Home Housing Act fantasy and throwing free EBT cards to seek assistance to lift the house away. Story still developing..

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:49 | 4023596 Itch

Imagine the front pages if he picked his nose.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 17:41 | 4023899 HardlyZero

so then...he walked to the Temple of Mammon and made his weekly tithing.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:49 | 4023600 adr

So when does Cramer start taking Ben Bernanke stool samples on his show and go through them on air to find out what Ben ate to help predict the market?

Looks like Ben ate steak and lobster, must be confident in the economy, BUY BUY BUY!

Uh oh, Ben looks to have shit out Subway, bullish for half ounce meat sandwiches, but for everything else, SELL SELL SELL!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:52 | 4023610 Vuke

Come on guys, lay off Barky.

If they lie to you what do you think they're telling him?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:59 | 4023625 Bunga Bunga

At least news based on real facts and not hopes, ignorance, lies or phantasy. Congratulations to the media, that's a breakthrough for them towards realism.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:58 | 4023632 darteaus

Was Reggie holding the leash?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:14 | 4023637 NuYawkFrankie

Did he take teleprompter with him?

"Raise left foot, place in front of right foot... Okaaay.... now raise right foot and place in front of left... "

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:11 | 4023661 are we there yet

Obama was well protected from dental hygienists armed with assault babies on wis walk.

Friday Humor: "Breaking News"

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