This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Friday Humor: "Breaking News"

Tyler Durden's picture





 

Just when you thought they couldn't stoop any lower...

 

(via @dorseyshaw)

 

 

(h/t AM)

 


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:02 | Link to Comment robilla
robilla's picture

Was it a long walk? Perhpas off a short pier?!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:04 | Link to Comment insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

He keeps running into those temporary fences with the signs that say this open area closed.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:09 | Link to Comment James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Someone at the Onion is weeping right now that reality has caught up with them. 

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:11 | Link to Comment pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

I think they are trying to drive onion out of business.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:19 | Link to Comment synergize
synergize's picture

Holy SH%&*&%!  Now, I know what i'll be watching tonight on CNN - the coverage on the "Firefighter saving the cat from a burning building" can wait until Sunday evening.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:31 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

I told Mrs K and she giggled "What losers".
I'm not sure if she means CNBS, Obie or both.  I'm leaning toward the latter.  And frankly right now, don't give a damn.

But Listen Up You Jolly Bunch
Danger Awaits

If everybody keeps making fun of these dickwads and viewership falls to unprofitable levels, the Only Recourse Will Be Support by People Like You, NPR Funding.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:40 | Link to Comment MisterMousePotato
Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:54 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Maybe he's just as fed up with all this shit as we are?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:00 | Link to Comment TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

***LAMESTREAM MEDIA BREAKING NEWS ALERT***

MSNBC's Chris Matthews is reporting that Teleprompter Obama has "broken wind" in the White House Rose Garden, and that "the resulting odor had such a wonderful aroma, that it put the surrounding roses to shame."

***THIS HAS BEEN A LAMESTREAM MEDIA BREAKING NEWS ALERT***

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:16 | Link to Comment Cruel Aid
Cruel Aid's picture

lol wb7  you see this?

Thanks truth, I needed that

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:29 | Link to Comment The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

I feel like I'm in Alice in Wonderland or maybe even Kansas.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:43 | Link to Comment Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

Misread it.  Thought it said,

 

"Obama the grump, lost in thought while taking a dump."

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 17:38 | Link to Comment I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

 

 

 

Obama goes on a walk because as the leader of the free world his skill set calls him to be a field hand.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 21:27 | Link to Comment mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Obama goes on a walk because as the leader of the free world his skill set calls him to be a field hand."

 

Was he chewing gum while walking?   Holy shit, that is news!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:44 | Link to Comment remain calm
remain calm's picture

He is going to jack off, because their is no way he fucking that ugly bitch he call his wife.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 18:39 | Link to Comment TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Shoo, Reggie Love takes care of walking the Wookie.  He also plays Frisbee with Valerie the Bat-Faced Gorgon.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:15 | Link to Comment buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

I'd like to see results of DNA tests on 'Obama's daughters'. I'd bet an ounce of gold that at least one is not the fruit of his rancid loins. They look like they have different fathers (from different species). You could put them in a lineup with 8 other 'youths' and no one would pick them as being sisters. But I'm sure they are lovely young ladies, and not reflective of the tyrant scum that are 'raising them'. And I'm sure we will be spared decades of news coverage of their activities as they grow and mature into pure political poison. It's enough to make you want to self-immolate on the national mall. Is self-immolation a pre-existing condition? And since the cops didn't plug the guy, have we just seen the best strategy for suicide bombing, light up first?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 17:34 | Link to Comment Oquities
Oquities's picture

my favorite is when" the news" reports on the latest addition to the McDonald's menu.  solid reporting.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 20:40 | Link to Comment Cleveland Steamer
Cleveland Steamer's picture

Speaking of Chris Matthews and "broken wind"...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45JDRn47MnU

 

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:38 | Link to Comment Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

If they report him going to the Bathroom, it's time to pull the plug.  Or put one in them.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:04 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

"President Obama flung his poo at hostile reporters during a press conference today, confirming suspicions about his genetic background."

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:24 | Link to Comment max2205
max2205's picture

I bet someone lights themselves on fire while he on his walk...oh wait

Sat, 10/05/2013 - 11:32 | Link to Comment toady
toady's picture

Someone reported that a black man set someone on fire and obama was stopped & searched, but then they realized he was president and let him go.

They told him not to leave town.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:09 | Link to Comment Zero Point
Zero Point's picture

Media "personalities" are higher on my list for noose night, even than politicians.

I mostly feel tired disgust when I think about the political class. Media types make me genuinely furious.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:31 | Link to Comment Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Did someone follow him with a little baggie to clean up the mess he left on the neighbor's lawn?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:20 | Link to Comment margaris
margaris's picture

don't you guys get it?

They "broke" the news, they "broke" the meaning of news.

That's what "breaking news" really means.

Like every sociopath they are very honest and open about it, lol

They are messing with the information they feed to the sheeple.

They "break" our news, and our spirit and body, if we let them.

 

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:50 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I was scanning the radio dial a few minutes ago, and caught NPR discussing this same breaking news.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 17:06 | Link to Comment Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

0:40 seconds in. It'll cheer you right up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5IBXgxBEs8&list=PL555B78A365541612

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:48 | Link to Comment debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

You do the talk, you do the walk boy.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:28 | Link to Comment Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

According to Senator Diane "Rich Bitch with Rich Hubby" Feinstein, they are not journalists at the Onion anyway.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:11 | Link to Comment BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

Ditto. I've been feeling really sorry for The Onion right now. How do they keep ahead of the incredibility curve when their Onion content makes more sense than whatever is really going on? Everytime we read a headline anywhere, we all have to stop and ask: Wait, is this real, or is it Onion?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:35 | Link to Comment Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

"Wait, is this real, or is it Onion?"

Quantum reality states that it's both.  And it only becomes one or the other when an observer looks at it.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:53 | Link to Comment MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

the last one about miley cyrus is profoundly amusing.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:58 | Link to Comment ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Fiction used to be stranger than truth, now?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:02 | Link to Comment Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

accredited times actually broke the story lmao.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:34 | Link to Comment NaN
NaN's picture

Hey, it's safer than driving.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:38 | Link to Comment GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Not safer than O driving, he is walking 3 holes to the left to find his ball

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:53 | Link to Comment astroloungers
astroloungers's picture

critical mass has been reached

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 21:59 | Link to Comment ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Nuclear Serfing achieved in das Kapital coup d'etat.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | Link to Comment smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

.....and life was saved as ten thousand cops kill 14 yr old on skateboard as he does reverse 360 molly..with a fakey.. pointing towards capital..

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:26 | Link to Comment Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Tyler....what algo BLEW UP when this headline crossed?

 

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:01 | Link to Comment Money Maker
Money Maker's picture

Clearly they all did....sense this is Bullish for the market.

But in all seriousness, I think this is a hidden message for the people in the "know". I bet this was  signal for either ending the shutdown or the shutdown will not end. I just wish I got the memo!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:05 | Link to Comment Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

nike.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:07 | Link to Comment SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

A walk is breaking news?   Now if he was being chased by a lion or a tyrannosaur .... that might catch my interest.  Till then the little ass napkin can fuck right off.  

 

Breaking News : Obama actually gets to fucking work 

THAT's the headline I am waiting for.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 1   !!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:23 | Link to Comment macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

 Till then the little ass napkin can fuck right off. 

 

OMG!   LMAOROTF!

+10

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:36 | Link to Comment Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Made me snort !  Can't stop laughing.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:45 | Link to Comment Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

"Ass Napkin", right into the lexicon.  Well played, Sir! Well played!

FORWARD ASS NAPKINS!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:57 | Link to Comment Sofa King
Sofa King's picture

The can be found in bulk supply stores, in the catalog next to the toilet seat covers affectionately referred to as Ass Gaskets.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:13 | Link to Comment Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

OMG ....ASS GASKET.....stop I can't take it.  LOL !!!  Sorry, just a little giggly after seeing that fucking CNBC headline and seeing Carlin's clip about  magazines from his routine in 1992 on Youtube.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | Link to Comment BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

I just spent the last hour listening to today's Pete Santilli show interviewing a well-spoken former member of the Mustlim Brotherhood describing the Obama family's strong ties to the Brotherhood in Kenya, including his Grandma ... and the best the MSM can come up with about Barack Obama is his daily walk? 

 

Get the archive tomorrow of that show:

http://guerillamedianetwork.com/

 

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:20 | Link to Comment john39
john39's picture

obama's zionist handlers and majority zionist cabinet will be utterly shocked to learn that he is a closet muslim.  no really, shocked.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 18:54 | Link to Comment tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

a weird muslim who only kills 10s of thousands of brown muslims and just loves the jews.

kind of strange yes no turd.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:22 | Link to Comment McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

PRES. OBAMA GOES FOR A WALK*

*W.A.L.K. = Weekly Asshat Luncheon with Kleptocrats

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:06 | Link to Comment Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

"Till then the little ass napkin can fuck right off."

 

Aw hell - how to I get the ice tea off of my monitor and out of my keyboard???

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:10 | Link to Comment Cast Iron Skillet
Cast Iron Skillet's picture

a plank, you mean?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | Link to Comment Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

He was probably just 'cruising.' Tomorrow, we might hear a story about how he's reviewed a Pickle Park (Rest Area).

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:18 | Link to Comment azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Breaking- Prez Oblama gets his daily blowjob from Reggie

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:49 | Link to Comment Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

Breaking: Unconfirmed sources have told us that Reggie does indeed take all that love juice down. Further updates will follow. We now cross over to our panel of blow job experts on what the Prez should experience and if this is in keeping with his status and his expectations.

 

 

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:25 | Link to Comment JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

"There's actually a fucking magazine called 'Walking.' 'Look, Dan, the new 'Walking' is out! Here's a good article: Putting One Foot In Front Of The Other!'"

- George Carlin

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:52 | Link to Comment SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Good thing you put the attribution on there; I wasn't sure if that was real or not. Love, Carlin; may he rest in peace.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:56 | Link to Comment MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

Too bad he died. Were he alive, with the FCC shut down right now, he could appear live on TV and do what he's always wanted to do.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:08 | Link to Comment Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

"There's actually a fucking magazine called 'Walking.' 'Look, Dan, the new 'Walking' is out! Here's a good article: Putting One Foot In Front Of The Other!'"

- George Carlin 

 

AAnnnd.....here's the VERY clip itself thanks to Youtube.  Hilarious !

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2PiDtHbLOY

 

 

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:08 | Link to Comment pot_and_kettle
pot_and_kettle's picture

prepare for the audit... :P

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 20:16 | Link to Comment kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

I think that they truncated the headline for size reasons.

It really said, "Obama Goes for a Walk, and He Isn't Wearing Any Clothes. Now the Whole World Knows that Obama is a Puppet"

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | Link to Comment CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

idem

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:03 | Link to Comment JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Maybe he'll fall into a sewer or something.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:47 | Link to Comment XitSam
XitSam's picture

I've heard that all the manhole covers in DC are now welded closed. That there are sensors if someone does manage to get into the sewers, the guys that 'shoot first ask questions later' all come a runnin'.  If you are a utility worker with legitimate reason to go underground, there are a bunch of approvals and delays.  It was in WaPo or something.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 20:27 | Link to Comment kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

I knew a guy in high school that managed to piss-off the entire football team. When he asked his dad to intervene, his dad told him, "Son, when you have that many people gunning for you, you are at fault and should deal with it yourself."

He took a few lumps but got things worked out and quit doing whatever it was that got him in the mess in the first place.

When you have to have manhole covers welded in place, then well, "You are at fault," and may just want to stop doing whatever it is you're doing to piss-off so many people.

 

IKEA should sell easy to assemble guillotines.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:03 | Link to Comment RacerX
RacerX's picture

let's hope he keeps walking..

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:26 | Link to Comment JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

They must've seen the animated GIF here on ZH few days ago and finally decidede to run with it.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:02 | Link to Comment insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

POTUS took a shit.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | Link to Comment Clayton Bigsby
Clayton Bigsby's picture

There would be some symmetry there - I took a POTUS earlier...

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | Link to Comment kralizec
kralizec's picture

Leaving one is a relief...stepping in one really sucks though!

These shoes were new, damnit!  All covered in Obama!!!

Gahhhhh!!!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:02 | Link to Comment superflex
superflex's picture

What's next.

"President Obama drops a load in Reggie's caboose"?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:23 | Link to Comment Bawneee Fwank
Bawneee Fwank's picture

ReggieBama love balm flows out and is rushed to market.  Lather it upon self and feel lazy, lifeless, and worthless within minutes...Yet you'll feel intellectually superior to all others. 

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:02 | Link to Comment OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

Coming up next OBama takes a dump.

And for real thriller TV.  Obama goes golfing.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:08 | Link to Comment Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

It certainly won't ever say: Obama has an original thought.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:02 | Link to Comment surf0766
surf0766's picture

I cannot believe they did this

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:04 | Link to Comment The worst trader
The worst trader's picture

In one word, pathetic!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:50 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I for one, find it hilarious.

It's as if they've secretly admitted that the whole thing is merely a farce.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | Link to Comment logicalman
logicalman's picture

Well, there's no other news, Right???!!!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Competing with Twitter ?

Cloward Piven loves Twitter, watch it fly.....

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:04 | Link to Comment earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

gonna check out the blood stains from yesterday's shootout.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:51 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Well, he was allegedly stalking her, after all.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | Link to Comment insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Would have been breaking news if FDR was still president.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:09 | Link to Comment Bawneee Fwank
Bawneee Fwank's picture

lol...Nice!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:50 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

AAAAAA+++++ Would LOL again!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:00 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

LOL

So inclusive and diverse to include the weak, lame, crippled, insane and mentally handicapped in the day's humor.

The Democratic National Committee would be Proud.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:36 | Link to Comment shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Fuck.

Even Nancy Pelosi would laugh at that one...

If she could.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:50 | Link to Comment ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Shes had so many facelifts, She would crack up if she laughed...

Sat, 10/05/2013 - 09:11 | Link to Comment grekko
grekko's picture

Wasn't Pelosi in that movie Escape from LA?  In the room with Bruce Campbell as the Surgeon General of Hollywood?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:05 | Link to Comment sansnobel
sansnobel's picture

Hopefully it was off the spire of the Sears tower

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:08 | Link to Comment sansnobel
sansnobel's picture

Oh God you statist cocksucking idiots have no sense of fucking humor....I hope I get first dibbs on you motherfuckers when it comes time to canabalize your sorry asses and turn you fuckers into wormfood.....

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:13 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

Talk about misdirected rage!

What's the matter, did the pigeons and squirrels in the park stop listening to your tirades?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 20:05 | Link to Comment sansnobel
sansnobel's picture

how bout on your fucking Jew head you dipshit would that be a good place?  When you free ??? name the time and place?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:07 | Link to Comment Mister Ed
Mister Ed's picture

I just vomited a bunch of carrots.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 19:09 | Link to Comment sansnobel
sansnobel's picture

Why don't you do us all a favor now that your stomach is empty and swallow your own fucking head followed by the first Lady's Hemoroid?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:07 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Breaking news: First Lady Michelle Obama eats 3 lobster tails, and drinks two bottles of Krug.  

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:15 | Link to Comment denverdolomte
denverdolomte's picture

Good to hear someone is willingly putting their lips around the TIP of some Krug.  /sarc

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:07 | Link to Comment sansnobel
sansnobel's picture

Why suicide for the good of the world a sickening thought to you?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:09 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Breaking news: Presidential dog gets a bath.  

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:01 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Presidental Dog dry humps Jesse Jackson's leg.

 

(didn't know any better due to the matching hair doos)

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:08 | Link to Comment Tracerfan
Tracerfan's picture

Will they let us know when he takes a dump?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:43 | Link to Comment Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

The News Media does that all the time...That is everytime he opens his mouth. Don't you know that Obama suffers from  Orifice-Anus Confusion Disorder..like all politicians? .The symptoms are talking out or your ass and spewing shit out of you mouth. It is evidential. He has been afflicted for quite awhile. I have read that there is no cure and the prognosis is poor...THat means POOR FOR YOU as he was elected and will just cost you money.

 

You are swimming in it.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 18:05 | Link to Comment Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

How long before Obama decides that his position necessitates one of these - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool

After all he is Royalty (of sorts)!! (or at least he thinks he is!)

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:10 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Breaking news: Obama decides to upgrade golf clubs to platinum plated.  

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:09 | Link to Comment John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

This must be one of those walks he took before he "changed" his mind on attacking Syria and after Putin put him in the corner.
Now he'll come back ready to deal lol

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:11 | Link to Comment beaker
beaker's picture

Gee, I see him in a different light now.  He must be one of us.  He must really care about all of us out here if he's talking a walk.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:35 | Link to Comment Blano
Blano's picture

If he rolled up his sleeves during the walk, then he's a real man of the people.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:10 | Link to Comment Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   He probably fell of the wagon and needed a smoke or 12, and didn't want the Wookie to piledrive him for it.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:17 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Nicely put.  Humor, fishez!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:34 | Link to Comment Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Not enough circumference for a pile.No friction.

Now the piles around the first asshole is a different matter.

Sat, 10/05/2013 - 09:08 | Link to Comment grekko
grekko's picture

Come on guys, stop denigrating wookies, they do tear peoples arms out of their sockets you know.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:11 | Link to Comment 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

I think the point is that he is taking a walk rather than playing golf as he usually does....

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:11 | Link to Comment asscannon101
asscannon101's picture

Is it even possible for the media to lick this guy's taint any more aggressively than they do now? Talk about a fucking Cult of Personality. Shit.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:25 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Why don't the prestitutes just get down on their knees and start sucking this asshole off right on teevee. Im sure the ignorant fucking masses would love it. Pathetic.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:14 | Link to Comment QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Where is Mooshie? She could use a walk. 

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:16 | Link to Comment kralizec
kralizec's picture

Wookie must be in the yard somewhere chasing balls...

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:17 | Link to Comment Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

So did Moochelle-O need to be let outside?

I hope Obama knows about the Districts leash laws.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:17 | Link to Comment jpc578
jpc578's picture

The last time Obama went for a walk he caved to Putin. Does this mean he is about to cave to the Republicans?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:19 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

That would be acceptable.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 17:47 | Link to Comment HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Walk Barrie, walk !

Sat, 10/05/2013 - 09:05 | Link to Comment grekko
grekko's picture

yes sir, and don't come back.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:16 | Link to Comment alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

was he walking on water? fire? in mid air?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:17 | Link to Comment omantrader
omantrader's picture

Where the fuck is bartiromo? preparing for the deposition in the Citbank guy's divorce? she has been taking a pummeling recently.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:21 | Link to Comment chdwlch1
chdwlch1's picture

Let me know when he takes a bullet...

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:25 | Link to Comment halfawake
halfawake's picture

i feel for the tyler(s) that has to watch cnbc for these purposes. do they rotate so as to not become dumber? or is the big joke on us b/c the cnbcers know they're a farce and zh is their outlet?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:22 | Link to Comment robnume
robnume's picture

Maybe he walked over to sign up for Blobama-care. Or to pick up that big bag o' money from lobbyists.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:25 | Link to Comment ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Golf is a good walk, ruined in meaningless pursuits. Is this any different?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:25 | Link to Comment hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Holy shit!!!! No shit? Crazy shit. Who gives a shit?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:27 | Link to Comment hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

He's trying to score a bag of weed.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:05 | Link to Comment Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

It's called "strolling for choom".

Sat, 10/05/2013 - 11:55 | Link to Comment Village-idiot
Village-idiot's picture

Just going out to buy some Skittles.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:28 | Link to Comment Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

news flash I am not wearing any pants. News at 11.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:33 | Link to Comment yogibear
yogibear's picture

It makes the algos go crazy bullish. Their tied to CNBS. Something to give the Bots a woody.

It would be nice for hackers get into the HFT bots and make them very trade insanely.

 

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:34 | Link to Comment Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Hero (1992), starring Barrack Hoffman Obama.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:44 | Link to Comment shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Oh Fuck,

I was hoping he'd run for President in '16 on the Blue Meth ticket.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:39 | Link to Comment Blano
Blano's picture

If it was Bush the media would have painted him as being mean spirited and insensitive to the concrete and/or grass.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:48 | Link to Comment Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Obama takes a walk down the yellow brick road. Eyewitness say, East Witch Nancy was caught pitted between affordable Home Housing Act fantasy and throwing free EBT cards to seek assistance to lift the house away.  Story still developing..

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:49 | Link to Comment Itch
Itch's picture

Imagine the front pages if he picked his nose.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 17:41 | Link to Comment HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

so then...he walked to the Temple of Mammon and made his weekly tithing.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:49 | Link to Comment adr
adr's picture

So when does Cramer start taking Ben Bernanke stool samples on his show and go through them on air to find out what Ben ate to help predict the market?

Looks like Ben ate steak and lobster, must be confident in the economy, BUY BUY BUY!

Uh oh, Ben looks to have shit out Subway, bullish for half ounce meat sandwiches, but for everything else, SELL SELL SELL!

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:52 | Link to Comment Vuke
Vuke's picture

Come on guys, lay off Barky.

If they lie to you what do you think they're telling him?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:59 | Link to Comment Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

At least news based on real facts and not hopes, ignorance, lies or phantasy. Congratulations to the media, that's a breakthrough for them towards realism.

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 15:58 | Link to Comment darteaus
darteaus's picture

Was Reggie holding the leash?

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:14 | Link to Comment NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Did he take teleprompter with him?

 

"Raise left foot, place in front of right foot... Okaaay.... now raise right foot and place in front of left...  "

Fri, 10/04/2013 - 16:11 | Link to Comment are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Obama was well protected from dental hygienists armed with assault babies on wis walk.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!