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Now Mastercard Wants Your Fingerprints

Tyler Durden's picture


Submitted by Michael Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,

Earlier this week, USA Today reported that massive payment processor MasterCard had joined the FIDO alliance. FIDO is an acronym for Fast IDentity Online, and the group describes itself as:

The FIDO (Fast IDentity Online) Alliance is a 501(c)6 non-profit organization nominally formed in July 2012 to address the lack of interoperability among strong authentication devices as well as the problems users face with creating and remembering multiple usernames and passwords. The FIDO Alliance plans to change the nature of authentication by developing specifications that define an open, scalable, interoperable set of mechanisms that supplant reliance on passwords to securely authenticate users of online services. This new standard for security devices and browser plugins will allow any website or cloud application to interface with a broad variety of existing and future FIDO-enabled devices that the user has for online security.

USA Today reports that:

SAN FRANCISCO — MasterCard is joining the FIDO Alliance, signaling that the payment network is getting interested in using fingerprints and other biometric data to identify people for online payments.


MasterCard will be the first major payment network to join FIDO. The Alliance is developing an open industry standard for biometric data such as fingerprints to be used for identification online. The goal is to replace clunky passwords and take friction out of logging on and purchasing using mobile devices.

It’s for your own good, and it’ll probably fight terrorism too!

Apple’s new iPhone 5s smartphone has a fingerprint sensor, but the tech giant is not part of FIDO. However, Google is part of the Alliance, and devices running Google’s Android operating system will have fingerprint sensors by next year.

I’m sure the folks at the Department of Homeland Security will be more than happy that the financial giant will make mass collection under its Biometric Optical Surveillance System (BOSS) that much easier. Serfs up suckers!

Full article here.



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Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:50 | 4029100 seek
seek's picture

Fuck this, I'll use bitcoin instead.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:01 | 4029141 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Never buy anything on credit...

especially from a Big Bank!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:07 | 4029171 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Mastercard can have my scrotum print, right on their chin.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:10 | 4029182 ACP
ACP's picture

I just want to know what Pelosi's cut is for brokering this deal between the NSA and MC.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:11 | 4029190 DaddyO
Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:37 | 4029256 Ineverslice
Ineverslice's picture


Viictory Gin for all!

Drink up gents.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:56 | 4029291 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Gattaca, full speed ahead.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:42 | 4029470 maskone909
maskone909's picture

Funny you mention that. I just saw a commercial from that is marketing a do-it-yourself DNA test kit. Simply swab your dna and mail it in. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!?!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 01:26 | 4029523 wintermute
wintermute's picture

How soon before some unlucky dude gets his fingerprints matched with Al Qaeda's latest bomb-making mastermind.


Mon, 10/07/2013 - 06:44 | 4029703 negative rates
negative rates's picture

When pigs fly.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 07:59 | 4029763 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Looks like I'll be canceling my MasterCard account. 

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 08:16 | 4029783 howenlink
howenlink's picture

My thoughts exactly.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 01:26 | 4029526 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

I can already see the headline by Drudge:


Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:59 | 4029301 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

This link is for educational purposes only.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:56 | 4029397 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

Haha, I actually bought that in 2011. I knew this day would come.  o.O

My response to this move is to just steal what I want since they've compromised cash / check / debit + credit cards.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:18 | 4029435 Tom Servo
Mon, 10/07/2013 - 03:55 | 4029624 Fedaykinx
Fedaykinx's picture

nice little hawk for the money there

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:44 | 4029358 Ineverslice
Ineverslice's picture



Thanks Q!

Diamonds Are Forever, Stephanie Powers (?) gets fooled.


Mon, 10/07/2013 - 07:57 | 4029761 kralizec
kralizec's picture

They can have my ass-print on their face...especially after downing a blazing bowl of chilli!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:06 | 4029174 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Just cut to the chase already and implant the chip

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:10 | 4029180 illyia
illyia's picture

I see a business op here. Faux prints. Who's game?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 01:25 | 4029527 wintermute
wintermute's picture

Next, everyone is going to have a bar-code tattooed onto their foreheads.


Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:13 | 4029193 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

They may already be doing that in some military hospitals.......

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 06:18 | 4029688 Rusty Shorts
Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:13 | 4029195 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

I'm sure the next iPhone will be chip compatible.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:32 | 4029244 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Xibalba- Amen to that, brother.  Let's get this over with.  Put the damned chip in my head and let's 'move on'.  We all know where it's headed, so let's dispense with this childish and annoying "are we there yet, Dad?" bullshit and just get there already.  Hook me up to the Matrix or don't.  Stop fiddle-farting around.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:32 | 4029347 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

I'll give them both my bionetric middle fingers!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:59 | 4029146 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Tread with caution, the bankers and their minions in .gov are intent on debasing Bitcoin.

+1 for your efforts to fuck the system.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:47 | 4029481 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Try it. Go ahead. FUCK OFF MOTHERFUCKERS I'll cancel all cards that require this.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 06:45 | 4029705 negative rates
negative rates's picture

We take cash, greenbacks, silver and gold as payment, which way do you prefer to pay?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 06:55 | 4029711 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

That's toooo harrrrd. I need easy, I've got a full day ahead of me on the hamster treadmill.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 07:58 | 4029760 DanDaley
DanDaley's picture

Just cut up your cards, i.e.,don't use them...if you offically cancel that dings your credit rating...if it matters at all.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:51 | 4029108 DirkDiggler11
DirkDiggler11's picture

They can't have my fingerprints, but I will gladly provide MasterCard with my stool sample.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:35 | 4029252 knukles
knukles's picture

"They've" already taken my prints 3 times... working at a bank or brokerage you must give 'em the prints as part of your introductory indoctrination.  Was an olde time "security" precaution.  Just like the mandatory 2 weeks min va-ca.
I had to get very James Bond-ish to disguise myself after the print thry took of my foreskin.
Got me one of them home circumcision kits....

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:10 | 4029316 Tim_
Tim_'s picture

Even Bush's Feces & Urine Are Classified Top Secret

"The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush's personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush's security, the veil of secrecy extends over the president's bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush's feces and urine and flew the waste material back to the United States in the event some enterprising foreign intelligence agency conducted a sewage pipe operation designed to trap and examine Bush's waste material. One can only wonder why the White House is taking such extraordinary security measures for the presidential poop."

"The Israeli Mossad conducted one such operation against Syrian President Hafez Assad when he visited Amman, Jordan in Feb. 1999 for the funeral of King Hussein. The Mossad and its Jordanian counterpart installed a special toilet in Assad's hotel room that led not to a pipe but to a specimen canister. Assad suffered from diabetes and cancer and the operation was designed to discover the actual medical condition of the ailing leader."

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 07:10 | 4029722 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

I'm sure that they could learn a lot. What kinds of kids he had eaten, what kind of blood he had been drinking? Maybe what kind of drugs he had been on? Something special about his DNA? This is a bizarre world.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:48 | 4029484 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Exactly. I'll freeze a massive taco shit and hurl it through their living room window.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:54 | 4029116 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Fuck Master Fuck.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:54 | 4029121 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I'm giving them the finger right now.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:02 | 4029152 akak
akak's picture

They can have my fingerprints when they pry them from my cold dead hands.


EDIT: Oops, sorry Jumbotron!  You beat me to this line by four minutes.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:08 | 4029177 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

I'm sure they won't mind prying them from both of you.......

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:10 | 4029186 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

You should both give each other a high four.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 06:30 | 4029695 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

<Chuckle>  Why don't we raise a glass to Charlton Heston......with our four fingers.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:55 | 4029123 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Doesn't matter whether you believe or not.......but the "mark of the beast" passage in Revelation is looking more likely day by day.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:16 | 4029203 Eternal Complainer
Eternal Complainer's picture

Soon it will be the norm for everything.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:24 | 4029225 FreeMktFisherMN
FreeMktFisherMN's picture

Only those who have believed on the Lord and are eternally secure in their salvation from eternal damnation will be able to resist the mark of the beast. 

Only believing on the Lord saves a person. No works can be added. Salvation is a gift from God, as He gave Himself to die on the cross that we might be re-united with Him and not have to pay the wages of sin: death. 

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:36 | 4029254 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

The beast has all of us well and truly in his embrace through debt, wars on the innocent, sickly conumption, loss of privacy, lack of morality, godless leaders and pornography. The fingerprint is just another nail in our coffin.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:36 | 4029257 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

"Each of us has a vision of good and of evil. We have to encourage people to move towards what they think is good . . . Everyone has his own idea of good and evil and must choose to follow the good and fight evil as he conceives them. That would be enough to make the world a better place.”

 - Pope Francis

Nice to see the Church coming around.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:55 | 4029396 kito
kito's picture

Not sure I agree fully fonz. There are some whackadoodles whose idea of fighting evil arent necessarily good for mankind. Francis' words open to the door for extremists to justify their actions, especially violent ones. Judeo Christian blueprints at least provide basic 101 on how to treat others. I think the popes words are dangerous

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:58 | 4029493 Simplifiedfrisbee
Simplifiedfrisbee's picture

Kito, your comment reminded me of a conversation I had over the weekend. Hitler and Jesus Christ were compared and connected based on my use of two words: reality and truth. How that person correlated the two is dangerous. I believe inaction is a pretense to danger. Fighting evil as the government sponsors is evil. Fighting against temptation is not dangerous. Neither is it dangerous fighting against the false self known as the ego. Yet, those two are extremely evil. Evil is not living in a foreign nation waiting to invade us. It has already invaded the minds of billions and attempting to slowly deactivate the truth within.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 03:49 | 4029619 Acet
Acet's picture

There are no evil people, there are only great excuses.

In their own minds nobody is evil or does evil, they're just "defending themselves/their-family/their-country" or "getting them 'cause they're after us" or "retrieving what's rightfully ours" or even "we're saving them from themselves".

And this is nothing new. Why do you think that to make a country do evil things (as America has done) politicians will use the "they're against us" dialetics (such as "they hate us for our freedoms") or the "it's to save them" one (such as "free them from oppression")?


Mon, 10/07/2013 - 08:41 | 4029816 involuntarilybirthed
involuntarilybirthed's picture

You're right too.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 07:16 | 4029725 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

Tech and insidious evil can take away choice as far as any "mark" is concerned or any microchipping, etc. They now have mosquito drones, and as tech improves, will be able to implant most people while they're sleeping or stuck at stop lights, etc, esp if the implants get smaller and smaller.


Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:56 | 4029124 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Need this in a world where kids can't write in cursive.  Plus it makes fraud easier because there is only a computer record that shows your fingerprint was scanned.  Basically a bit field with the name FingerPrintScanned that have a value of true and a date and time stamp.  Jon Corzine wishes he had this functionality because he could have provided proof that the MFGlobal clients donated their money to the company via transactions with fingerprints.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:56 | 4029130 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Paving the road to the antichrist soon ascension to the throne is going according to plan. Don't be surprised when you find out that Bieber is the anti-christ, as that would explain a lot with the world. 

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:59 | 4029145 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

And Mrs. Anti-Christ is Miley Cyrus.


Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:13 | 4029198 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

I agree and her tongue always sticking out is indicative of some sort of demonic possession!


Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:29 | 4029237 in4mayshun
in4mayshun's picture

Here I thought it was just your run-of-the-mill case of mental retardation

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 01:36 | 4029534 seek
seek's picture

Oh no, she's a reptilian!

(/sarc. Heavy /sarc. It's shit like this that gives conspiracy theorists a bad name, and that's saying something.)

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:58 | 4029131 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

The can have my fingerprints when they rip them from my cold, dead hands !

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:44 | 4029474 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Or lift them off of any glassware or anything you just touched.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:51 | 4029485 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Like M. Jackson, I wear one glove wherever I go. Who knew the man/woman was a seer?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:57 | 4029138 erg
erg's picture

They can have my puckered sphincterprint.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:38 | 4029262 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Sooner or later they will have that too with a device fitted to the toilet.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:57 | 4029139 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Fuck MasterCard.

I'll cut up my card after I max out my limit and file for bankruptcy.

Fingerprint reader on new iPhone was hacked within 48 hours using Elmer's glue.

Fuck these statist corporate parasites and their fiat money and kleptocratic schemes.

p.s. - the spellchecker corrected me, it's "MasterCard" not "Mastercard".

So sorry, oh Gods of credit and malfeasance.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:02 | 4029151 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I can only hope since bankers are the only ones left making money that a "banker finger" black market pops up as identity theft goes to the next level.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:04 | 4029166 JohnG
JohnG's picture

:sharpens hatchet:

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:59 | 4029144 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Damn.  All of those companies just lost a customer. 

Well, to be honest, I am not a customer of Google or any credit card company.  So....

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:01 | 4029148 Whatta
Whatta's picture

I got a fecal sample waiting for them.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:03 | 4029157 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

That $1 FRN in one's wallet is already worth its face value plus the local tax in some establishments.

This just may add additional value to the physical FRN.

Just sayin'...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:54 | 4029389 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

I can't wait until "just sayin'" goes the way of "it is what it is" or "get 'er done".

I don't know anyone who isn't intellectually challenged that says "just sayin'".


Oh and Finger print smart phones scare the shit out of me.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:04 | 4029158 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

I've been telling/yelling for over half a year that the Club Fed banks are going toward BIOMETRIC units of currency.

YOU are (or will be) the walking, talking currency.  The Mark of the Beast (666) is coming:  Biometric RFIDs*. You can't lose, copy or steal them.  EVERYTHING you buy, sell or borrow will be via the Bio-Chip.  It will even track your GPS coords.

* HSBC has put up posters at airports a year ago.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:13 | 4029197 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

The late Aaron Russo concurs in his documentary:

America: Freedom to Fascism

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 09:09 | 4029899 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Can't stress enough how EVERY ONE should see this film.  Prophetic to the max.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:17 | 4029209 Big Brother
Big Brother's picture

Are you sure "it's coming?" My GF can implant one into you at her vet clinic.  They've been putting those things into cats and dogs for years.

All kidding aside, if as you've described ever comes true, I will assure you some will happily go along with it given their neomanic tendencies; but others, like myself, will find a way to transact economically by other means (e.g. vote with our feet) as I would not freely accept a Biometric RFID for obvious reasons.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 03:43 | 4029615 etresoi
etresoi's picture

I have voted with my feet, which has proven to be the best decision of my life.


Gey out while you can.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 10:03 | 4030035 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Gey out while you can.

I'm pretty sure there will be plenty of time for that in the FEMA camps...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:46 | 4029366 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Anything for the children.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:04 | 4029161 adr
adr's picture

So where do we get a copy of Bernanke's prints so we can all order anything we want online with unlimited credit?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 06:36 | 4029697 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

So where do we get a copy of Bernanke's prints so we can all order anything we want online with unlimited credit?

That my friend is brilliant !   LOL!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:18 | 4029432 monad
Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:15 | 4029200 Catullus
Catullus's picture

It's a non-profit organization created to lobby Congress to force their vendors to adopt a payment system and justify their credit card fees.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:20 | 4029216 Yenbot
Yenbot's picture

There's something just plain wrong in Elizabethan English about "Non-Profit Organization".

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:03 | 4029205 notadouche
notadouche's picture

Wake me up when they want to use my spunk as an identifier I'll be glad to give them a facial.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:24 | 4029219 XitSam
XitSam's picture

This is a cog in the cashless, fully trackable, no anonymity, total tyranny society.  Want to post an online comment? Fed law will say: Present your finger.  Buy a toaster: present your finger.  Buy a pizza: you can't you're overweight.  Want medical care: present your finger. Buy food: only when Michelle approves. Buy gold: you'll need federal approval.  Buy a gun: ha ha ha the government gives you the finger.

All you anti-government freedom loving people are going to be digging through garbage for table scraps because your bank account has been seized for anti-social tendencies. 

"And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave." Let's party, bitchez.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:25 | 4029232 in4mayshun
in4mayshun's picture

Speaking of anonymity...what happened to the new $100 dollar bills that were supposed to be forthcoming??? I'm thinking canceled due to dollar collapse imminently?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:54 | 4029292 XitSam
XitSam's picture

They're unable to print a new version of the current currency. Which leads me to think there won't be any red dollars or whatever.  When the banks re-open after the bank holiday, all you can do is deposit whatever currency is in your matress. Every purchase from then on will be by card.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:03 | 4029404 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I understood the rollout date to be Oct-18-2013.  Eleven daze from now.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 08:31 | 4029802 PaperWillBurn
PaperWillBurn's picture

They didn't have enough 0's

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:29 | 4029238 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

I got your finger right here NSA...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:25 | 4029220 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Hi! the newest product from Ronco is the Jamie Dimon Slip On Your Finger Fingerprint... never worry about being richer than Jamie again. Just slip on his fingerprint and presto-magic, buy anything you've dreamed of for only $19.99. As a super bonus, if you buy now, we'll send a second Slip On Your Finger Fingerprint of Lloyd Blankfein, absolutely free...Order now.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:22 | 4029221 Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

Of course, this will be sold as "hip & trendy" -- and many consumers will eat this shit right up...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:25 | 4029224 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

what your card company knows about you rivals Google

fingerprint is the gateway to the  embedded iChip

of course in the interim we look forward to the first news stories about some poor bastard that had his fingers chopped off

that is a given

and will usher in the age of embedded iChips, which will require a mugger with more than just rudimentary butcher skills


666 is no longer alone

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:46 | 4029281 jon dough
jon dough's picture

He's getting out the marrow in your back bone...

Love that "Apocalypse in 9/8"

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:55 | 4029490 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Back in the day, when I was reading heavily on this shit, I learned that your CC TRACKS your spending; you burning cash on marital counseling? Much time in a bar? Ooooo...they would LIMIT/DECREASE your credit shit. Spooky shit.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:24 | 4029226 in4mayshun
in4mayshun's picture

Although all this ID stuff is crap, I would probably feel more comfortable if my finger print was on my license instead of my picture.

Is that weird?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:26 | 4029234 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

The Apple fingerprint system was hacked within 48 hours of its introduction:

MarkOfTheBeast ®™ Don't leave home without it!  Or get disappeared!  And we don't mean raptured either.
Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:28 | 4029236 Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

You know, stuff like this makes me want to march over to Wall Street & light myself on fire

I'm just afraid that it will drop out of the news after a couple hours, with no follow-up whatsover, and end up being all for nought...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:36 | 4029253 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture



   They love us for our fingers...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:42 | 4029275 q99x2
q99x2's picture

BitCoin Last price:$137.90000

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 02:54 | 4029587 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Don't tell, XenoFrog will get a stroke.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:56 | 4029289 Took Red Pill
Took Red Pill's picture

knowing everything about you...Priceless

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 03:09 | 4029594 Gief Gold Plox
Gief Gold Plox's picture

They want to know everything about you, but when their customer satisfaction reps call and I proclaim I'd like some oral sex, they get offended.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:07 | 4029308 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

No credit cards here. Not a one. And this just assures that that will continue for the forseeable future.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:00 | 4029402 Geruda
Geruda's picture

That is terrible you are feeling so much bad about it.  I am thanking you for telling us what you will not be doing in the futures.  It is making me have better feeling now that I am having knowledges of this important information you are speaking.  Thank you again.  Please be coming back to ZH and telling us more if things are changing in the unforseeble futures because we will be needing to be know that thing.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:20 | 4029436 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

In your native tongue, how would one be to saying...."eat a dick, with much enthusiasm."?
That is what I am wanting to be communicate to you.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:30 | 4029450 Geruda
Geruda's picture

I have been having much wondering about why so many ZH peoples who are have speaking here are happy to be having images of the sex organs of men.  Many times the thinkings that ZH'ers are trying to be having other ZH'ers to be having are to be having thinkings about the man organs in their mouths.   You are having a sickness in your thinking to be having so much desperation to be expressing the thoughts you are having.  If that is the thinking you are always having when you are being upset you should be trying harder not to have so many angries.  It is making you seem weird.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:31 | 4029456 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Conjugate, motherfucker!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 01:16 | 4029512 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

You are very fake. You obviously speak English and are purposefully acting like you are unknowing. Your conjugations would worse and your use of verbs is as good as a native. Just throwing a fuckin S on the end of any noun to pluralize it is utter BS. Get a life.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:06 | 4029311 floyd084
floyd084's picture

WTF! I can change my paswword, I can't change my fingerprints.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 16:40 | 4031761 Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

Don't worry, there will be an app for that (or a little acid)...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:17 | 4029325 TaperProof
TaperProof's picture

If this is required I will close my mastercard...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:56 | 4029394 Geruda
Geruda's picture

Why should we be having carings about knowing what you are saying you will be doing?  Just be doing it and not be speaking it because nobody is caring because most peoples will be knowing you won't be doing what you are saying you will be doing anyway.   

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:13 | 4029425 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

You can say that again!

Whatever the fuck you tried to say, because not one person actually decoded it.

Amazing. You have completely eclipsed our # 1 troll, AnAnonymous, in complete and utter garbage.
48 words and not a single relationship can be lashed together.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:21 | 4029438 Geruda
Geruda's picture

Not one person.   How are you having knowledges of that?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:23 | 4029443 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

We will go on up votes.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 09:50 | 4029996 moonman
moonman's picture

You are going a little willy nilly with the "s"'s

Everyword in English in not a plural.

Someones with yours lacks of intelligences should be understandings these

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 08:56 | 4029861 howenlink
howenlink's picture

I will cancel my MasterCard whether or not you have carings.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:46 | 4029367 TheObsoleteMan
TheObsoleteMan's picture

Last stop before the chip. Cashless transactions have been their goal all along.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 03:34 | 4029610 etresoi
etresoi's picture

Except this may have the unintended consequence of only cash transactions

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 11:17 | 4030352 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

They will take cash away. 

Only terrorists and criminals use cash, so if you're not doing anything wrong, you have nothing to hide. 

Just make sure you keep up with the latest and greatest redefinition of what "doing something wrong" means. 

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:53 | 4029372 Geruda
Geruda's picture

I am not having understanding of why the speaking that ZH peoples are having is always the sounding of silly and stupid childrens.   We are almost never having speakings by peoples who are here that is sounding any much better than the  most stupidest talkings you can be reading anywhere on the internet where the stupidest peoples are being.  Like the stupids who are having speaking where they are having talkings about car racing, or footballs, or rock and roll musics, or girls who are nasty with their tongues hanging out when they are dancing like sexing.   Many peoples here should be ashamed of the stupid words they are saying and just not be saying the stupid words they are saying.   I am finding out by the speakings of Americans I am disappointed in the intelligences of Americans.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:05 | 4029406 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

...."dancing like sexing"
How is one to be dancing like sexing?
That's "twerking" you fucking faggot sounding foreigner retard. Speak to us in 'Merican, dammit.

Was that the intellectual touch you were looking for?
Glad to help. And welcome to fight club.


Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:10 | 4029417 donsluck
donsluck's picture

Lost in translation...

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:15 | 4029429 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Makes my head hurt. The only part I get is that I'm being preached to about something....something sexing related.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 05:10 | 4029658 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Say, are you like , 8 years old?

Does your mom know you have accessed the computer?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 05:44 | 4029672 Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

You and AnAnonymous should go on a date. A match made in Hades.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 09:47 | 4029990 moonman
moonman's picture

You making comments about sounding stupid is pretty ironic.


Mon, 10/07/2013 - 10:03 | 4030036 peter4805
peter4805's picture

@ Geruda. Would you just shut the fuck up already!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:50 | 4029375 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

All rights yous guys, we gonna meet over at Tommy's place, you got it?  Bringa your bats, knuckles, bike chains...  Joey, you got that pistol, right?  Bring dat too.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:50 | 4029377 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

fuck mastercard - nazis

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:57 | 4029390 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

MasterCard is a private company. I don't see what the big deal is.

It's not like the federal government has access to that data or could compel them to share your prints.

So fucking tinfoil! Typical ZH fear mongering. What are you guys buying that you are trying to hide anyway?

Sorry guys. I'm bored tonight. Trolls have been quiet lately so I thought I'd mix it up a bit.
(Edit: wonder if the Troll Squad at .gov got furloughed? That would really break my heart)

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 03:31 | 4029608 etresoi
etresoi's picture

MasterCard is a non-profit association  Bankers never want to pay taxes

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:04 | 4029408 monad
monad's picture

If you're too stupid to remember your password, you're too stupid to be in a contractual business relationship with MasterCard et al.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:07 | 4029413 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Stupid never stops em

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:09 | 4029412 Randoom Thought
Randoom Thought's picture

So anyone who takes a copy of your fingerprint can now gain access to your stuff. PEACHY!! Count me out. At least with my password I can change it... and they have to know the contents of my brain.

No so easy to change one's fingerprints.

A suspicious person would think that it has nothing to do with security and everything to do with being able to identify every individual on the planet and tie what they do to their physical body.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:25 | 4029445 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

No worries... the local tattoo parlor can take your fingerprints off in no time....

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:43 | 4029471 SilverMoney1
SilverMoney1's picture

Fingerprints are usernames, not passwords.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:49 | 4029483 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Such a bad idea. People can steal and copy your fingerprints much more easily than a password.  They can lift it off any piece of glassware or anything you touch.

It seems like voice recognition would be much more secure. But, then I suppose they would have to listen to all their customers say FUCK YOU! all the time.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 01:02 | 4029499 Kina
Kina's picture

what about a penis print?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 02:50 | 4029584 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Well a print of my penis may not be able to fit on a credit card,but that's besides the point - I've seen too many movies with cut off fingers used to get past fingerprint scanning devices.

Don't know about you but I have only one penis.

P.S. I use cash when possible.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 06:30 | 4029694 notadouche
notadouche's picture

If you had ever "lowered yourself" as I have many times to watch Family Guy you would know that Quagmire took care of the "Penis ID" technology.  He just wrecked it with his legendary member.  

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 01:35 | 4029536 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

I'd prefer the "raisin scan" myself

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 01:39 | 4029541 Bloodstock
Bloodstock's picture

It's high time for independent retailers to take on the facist pigs and offer a 2% discount for non-plastic transactions. Fuck 'em!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 09:02 | 4029876 howenlink
howenlink's picture

I made that suggestion recently to the Kohl's cashier after she offered me a credit card for the 25th time. She replied, "Ain't gonna happen."

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 02:02 | 4029557 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Texas has been requiring fingerprints to get drivers licenses for maby a decade.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 06:44 | 4029706 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Not rootin' tootin' freedom lovin' seccesionist Texas !!!!  Does ol secesh Rick Perry know about this.  Quick...someone tell Michelle Bachmann about this so she can use it against him for 2016.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 05:27 | 4029664 Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

No way. Clip. clip shredding the Mastercard.

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