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Sunday "Humor": Welcome To Obamaville

Tyler Durden's picture




 

"Change" indeed...

 

 

(h/t Jim Quinn's Burning Platform blog)

 

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Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:06 | 4028638 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

Don't forget the drones flying overhead!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:09 | 4028647 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

"We already know everything about you. The cavity search is just a part of job satisfaction."

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:16 | 4028671 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

I'm still trying to figure out how the lady from Connecticut managed to RAM a security gate with a car manufactured in the modern era without the front end of the car getting scratched, let alone total exploding with air bags going off?????

 

Did I mention she allegedly rammed a gate and the air bags didn't go off.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:23 | 4028692 knukles
knukles's picture

No more of that freedom of thought.
This is your last warning.

Room 101 is available anytime....

 

That's a damned good point, BTW.
Bet the dude stalking her could explain the conundrum....

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:30 | 4028705 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

They needed to let the public know they are not above killing women in the presence of their children as such need arises. Murder was clearly their only option in this instance, as we all know, they could never have tracked her down later what with it being filmed by dozens of cameras and eyewitnesses and all.......

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:43 | 4028742 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

What the four horseman of the apocalypse in the cartoon are missing are their yappy little lap-dogs formerly known as the "To Serve and Protect" local police.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:09 | 4028826 akak
akak's picture

You mean the four "heroes"?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:31 | 4028902 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

Welcome to Obamaville, where everyone gets free healthcare.

No wait, where everyone can buy some healthcare.

No, where everyone is forced to buy expensive healthcare insurance.

Oh fuck.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:25 | 4029032 macholatte
macholatte's picture

Welcome to Obamaville, where everyone gets free healthcare.

 

Where the help line phone number is 800-Fuckyo

Where the death panels are already doing God's work, reducing the debt by shooting confused citizens... mental disorders, you know.

 

Miriam Carey: A Tragedy With No Answers

Why Did A Pleasant Dental Hygienist Lead D.C. Police On A Chase? Why Did Police Shoot Her?

 

http://www.latimes.com/topic/hc-carey-sunday-1006-20131004,0,5085077.story

 

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:18 | 4029434 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

I think you got the phone # wrong, its supposed to be 1-800-328-7448

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:41 | 4028918 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

"Lt.Briggs was right...you "heroes" don't have enough experience."

"A man has got to know his limitations..."

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 07:49 | 4029752 kralizec
kralizec's picture

I'd stick with horses (ass)!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:43 | 4028747 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Those IRS douche bags audited me earlier this year. Bastards! I won the case, but they can still suck my dick!!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:38 | 4028924 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Preach it, brother!  Whatever drew their attention is NOT the only thing they ask you about in an audit, as you now well know.  They go EVERYWHERE once they got you in their clutches.  Like going to the doctor for a cold and ending up with a colonoscopy.

Guilty until you prove yourself innocent.

I know guys who used to work as auditors for the IRS.  YES, they have a quota.  YES, they are compensated on how much they bring in through fines, fees and additional revene collection.  YES, they can do pretty much anything to you they want, based only on their discrtion and that of their supervisor.

 

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:48 | 4029374 Cruel Aid
Cruel Aid's picture

audit...why? what did you do

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 07:05 | 4029717 Translational Lift
Translational Lift's picture

They needed to let the public know they are not above killing women in the presence of their children as such need arises.

Oh I get it now....It's ok for the goons to chase down and corner a mentally confused woman with a 18 month child and execute her but if a mentally confused person commits the same crime they all want GUN CONTROL against all law abiding citizens.  SO....just who is mentally confused??

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:27 | 4028698 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

I'm still trying to figure out how the lady from Connecticut managed to RAM a security gate with a car manufactured in the modern era without the front end of the car getting scratched, let alone total exploding with air bags going off?????

It's terrist magic.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:57 | 4029492 worbsid
worbsid's picture

It seems then that she didn't RAM the gate but simply touched it which was enought to start the guards shooting. 

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:09 | 4028725 Radical Marijuana
Radical Marijuana's picture

http://financearmageddon.blogspot.ca/2013/10/capital-shooting-hoax-non-s...

Capital Shooting Hoax ~ Non Stop Hoaxes!


Sorry, but the more important something is, the more that the mass media lie about that! I find that it is no longer possible to believe any "news" story that the mass media tell us. Almost everything that the government of the USA does is based on legalized lies, backed by legalized violence, in a vicious spiral! After the international bankers regained control over North America, through corrupting the political processes enough to create the Federal Reserve Board, EVERYTHING has been the runaway, exponential growth of organized crime dominating every aspect of the government. Of course, the mass media aid and abet that  ... with no end in sight!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:13 | 4028844 knukles
knukles's picture

MSM....
How long's it been since I've watched a "traditional" MSM newscast?
2 or 3 years?
More?
I seriously cannot remember sitting through any meaningful stretch of time doing so....

Take a gander at CNBS, etc., periodically to see what the Leviathan wants the line to be... but after that....  Tried to even get a flavor of MSNBC and couldn't last 3 minutes...  Less than 3 minutes.... Much less.  Same with Fox.

It's not information, it's affirmation.
People watch to have their biases reinforced on an emotional level.

Scary sad.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:25 | 4029042 HungryPorkChop
HungryPorkChop's picture

If you've ever got in a heated debate with either side (left or right) you will quickly find out that it's not a bias but instead a religion.  It's truly a belief system and neither side can believe how the other side is so incapable of understanding their views.  Whether it's gun control for the left or food stamps on the right it doesn't matter.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:56 | 4029135 RiverRoad
RiverRoad's picture

The "News"?  It's not information; it's info-tainment.....when it's not busy being the new Pravda.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:03 | 4029155 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

It's not information, it's affirmation.  well said

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:39 | 4029263 Mike in GA
Mike in GA's picture

Mass media is now the Ministry of Propaganda.  They've made themselves targets when TSHTF.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:40 | 4028737 philipat
philipat's picture

It's only Mercs in LA that are well know to spontaneously combust?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:18 | 4028857 seek
seek's picture

Air bags won't go off at low speed/accelerations. So I think we know simply by that, if she did in fact ram the gate, it was at low speed.

What I'm waiting for is video coming out -- I think it's safe to say a security gate to the WH has a camera or two trained on it. It'll probably by years before a FOIA request gets that video, if ever, if the 9/11 Pentagon video is any guide.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:01 | 4028975 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

Insanelysane.... I'm hearing you.... Micheal Hasting approve of this message

Now... back to George Thorogood..... at 11.... "Bad to the bone".... its the best i can muster as its doing my head in.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:45 | 4029085 Freddie
Freddie's picture

F the libtards who voted for their muslim.  They still love him and big Goobermint as they drool over their NY Times and TV set.  Fools. F them.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:04 | 4029169 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

don't tell me the muslims and the new york times are on the same side/run by the same people, just like the "opposing" u.s. political parties.  are no illusions to be left?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:19 | 4028679 Bad Attitude
Bad Attitude's picture

Where are the shacks and tents of those who can't find jobs because of Dear Leader's gross mismanagement of the economy?

Forward (over the cliff)!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:37 | 4028735 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

I didn't know you needed a shack or a tent when you lived in the sewers or under an interstate bridge.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 02:12 | 4029563 Parrotile
Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:18 | 4028852 Pooper Popper
Pooper Popper's picture

Lets not forget Gun control.......In boboland ,NO guns allowed

You cant have a gun,you cant look at a gun,and you better not even think about a gun!

 

Bobo,....You have been a very bad monkey!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 07:33 | 4029738 N2OJoe
N2OJoe's picture

But we MUST suspend these anti terror-aid laws so we can provide guns to Al-Qaeda because they're the good guys...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:10 | 4028643 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

No EPA? HSA? TSA? BOA? JPM? ETC?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:17 | 4028678 floyd084
floyd084's picture

We need more three letter acronyms!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:02 | 4028800 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Can FU2 count?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 02:49 | 4029585 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

ATF? DEA?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:07 | 4028644 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

More like Sunday Horror..........

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:09 | 4028645 xamax
xamax's picture

Where is the chocolate tree Obama ???

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:13 | 4028657 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

That big smiley face sun reminded me of something the late George Carlin said:

“when fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jackboots. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts. Smiley-smiley"


Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:19 | 4028681 knukles
knukles's picture

The Second Coming, the Anti-Christ....

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:45 | 4028753 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Just the second coming?

I thought it was then never ending anti-christ marathon a.k.a the Obama administration.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:58 | 4028795 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Its like Carter on meth...it'll take twenty years to sort it all out just to get back to -40 instead of the real baseline.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:06 | 4028823 knukles
knukles's picture

That's depressing.
If ever baseline is reattained.

Probably not....

 

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:51 | 4029110 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Unless there is a hard reboot there "ain't no" sorting it out.   It ended up when the USSR fel - the same MIC gang was under control.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:22 | 4028878 stopcpdotcom
stopcpdotcom's picture

Yes! Brilliant!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:17 | 4028669 Gold N Glocks
Gold N Glocks's picture

Why are the cops white?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:19 | 4028675 Squishi
Squishi's picture

and french.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:28 | 4028700 knukles
knukles's picture

French?  I don't smell any BO

(get it, BO?  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha)

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:45 | 4028757 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Cause only white people are capable of oppressing the brown minorities.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:57 | 4028787 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Don't tell that to the Hutu's, they're doin it all backwards!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:15 | 4028670 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     Where's the TSA groper?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:19 | 4028677 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Or the Park Police.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:44 | 4029274 Mike in GA
Mike in GA's picture

Furloughed for this photo shoot at least that's what they say about how come the 9 y/o was able to steal a bag, steal a meal and board a flight to Las Vegas!  Haha...Gotta keep the NSA from hiring this kid - he's smart.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:21 | 4028685 Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

You could call it Obamanation.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:25 | 4028699 nmewn
nmewn's picture

1-800-FUCKYO

(Yes, thats really the ObamaScare 800 number)

Fucking Forward!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:27 | 4028704 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Only one 'L' required - Obamavile

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:38 | 4028733 tradewithdave
tradewithdave's picture

You did build that ville.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:47 | 4028761 Geruda
Geruda's picture

 

Many stupids on ZH will be have many hating for the President who is Obama.  They are the stupids are being happy if they can be having him fail but are hating when he isn't failing.  

 

 

(CNN) -- In two operations in Africa nearly 3,000 miles apart, U.S. military forces went after two high-value targets over the weekend.

 

President Barack Obama approved the two raids, monitored them closely and was updated regularly by homeland security adviser Lisa Monaco and his national security staff, National Security Council spokeswoman Caitlin Hayden told CNN on Sunday.

 

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:54 | 4028782 nmewn
nmewn's picture

What have you done with MDB and how much is the ransom to get him back? ;-)

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:03 | 4029154 logically possible
logically possible's picture

MDB is a government worker. He is on paid vacation. He will be back to work after the shut down.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 02:21 | 4029571 Flagit
Flagit's picture

from the structure of the English, i would say MDB has been outsourced to the Philippines.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:54 | 4028785 Dadburnitpa
Dadburnitpa's picture

"Many stupids on ZH will be have many hating for the President who is Obama. They are the stupids are being happy if they can be having him fail but are hating when he isn't failing."

You are either high or your google translator is fucking up.  

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:17 | 4028849 knukles
knukles's picture

Is he/she/it doing a crap job of trying to imitate Boris?
Or just mentally deficient?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:31 | 4028903 tsx500
tsx500's picture

actually, i think he sounds like obama's public speaking coach

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:47 | 4029092 booboo
booboo's picture

The Head Teleprompter has become self aware and is posting on ZH.

"Uh, I, Me, me, I, me, I directed, my military, Uh, Uh,"

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:57 | 4028791 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

Did you ever ask yourself......why NOW?

4 USA citizens died in Benghazi, POTUS does nothing.

Time to show the people I am President, where is my Seal Team 6 stooges. Remember Seal Team 6, anything good, Obama did it; anything bad, you are on your own!!!!!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 14:20 | 4031177 Translational Lift
Translational Lift's picture

where is my Seal Team 6?

The poor fuckers were mysteriously killed off.............

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:00 | 4028798 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I'm guessing 'geruda' is 'retard' when translated into English?  Trolling in any language still makes you a troll, just sinking into another level of douche-baggery because you can't even get the translation correct.  Do the site a favor and stick your head in the ass-orifice of any animal your homeland embraces and wear it as a hat for the rest of your ignorant existence.  Better yet, just suck on an exhaust hose from any available combustion engine and make yourself a nice carbon sink in keeping with your misguided worshiping of the worst political piece of shit to inhabit the White House in history.   Go Green! You worthless piece of commenting shitbag...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:17 | 4029013 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

I now know how Krispycritta got his "Handle".   Talk about burning them in reply. Well done and for once I wish, just one wish.     That there were someone in Congress who could speak like that.... The worst and most twofaced President this country has ever seen. I have found a new respect for Richard Nixon and every following sicophant President since, that, I remind you even Hell would cast out in its latest reincarnation. 

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:03 | 4028805 Encroaching Darkness
Encroaching Darkness's picture

Geruda: Member for a little over two years, started commenting in June this year.

Should have waited a good while longer. not clued in yet.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:09 | 4028832 akak
akak's picture

Oh Geruda, fuck you a lakh of times already.

You are truly the lamest of the lame trolls here --- and we've had some who didn't even have legs.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:13 | 4029007 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Geruda is having the saying these wordings:

Many stupids on ZH will be have many hating for the President who is Obama.  They are the stupids are being happy if they can be having him fail but are hating when he isn't failing.

Something is giving me the thinking that you are having the jumping on concludes.

Yes, many peoples are having upsets with the President who is Obama who are peoples who having brains that are working to be finding words that are having substance that is worth reading the words.

The words I am reading many peoples on ZH writing are like hearing the words of speaking the grammars we are having that is coming from the mouths of talkers here.

Some few peoples here are sounding like they are speaking words that are without having many the intelligences. I am having thinkings that is what you are doing but it is not making me be having angries at you.

Your angries should be telling you having words like that in your head when it is being full of angries is something being wrong in your head. If it was many years ago I will be having an understanding of it.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:33 | 4029247 Clever Name
Clever Name's picture

Man, you are really good at this!

+1!

Lets hope this guy takes Ananonymouse's place!

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:07 | 4029165 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Obama's "NATO bombs kill Afghan children."  Did you miss that headline, you heartless, mis-educated troll?

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:46 | 4029277 Mike in GA
Mike in GA's picture

Look Geruda, if you're gonna get that intimate with your boy Obama you should get a room.  It really isn't fair to the rest of us for you to steam up the windows in here.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 12:56 | 4030779 strayaway
strayaway's picture

Al-Queda wouldn't even be operating so openly in Libya is Obama had kept his hands off Libya.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 19:48 | 4028767 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

I have an idea.

we should all pony up and have the place pimped out, the best golf courses, casinos, ect. ect.

then throw in a super elite hospital with millionaire specialists in every field, nothing but the absolute best of healthcare and then guarantee it won't cast whoever lives their a single dime. then dole out no limit snap cards that can be used in any of the stores that sell only the absolute best in food and drink.

throw in free everything else for life, even the moving expenses, all on the tax payers dime.

gate the whole thing off, surround it with the DC capitol police and the NYPD armed with drones, tanks and a billion rounds of ammunition. absolute homeland security and safety.

then invite every last member CONgress and the current administration in the white house to move on in, a gift from us to them in appreciation of all the hard work they have done representing we the people.

then when they are all settled in it's time to make the call, the one to Putin.

after all, has a couple of thousand nuclear missiles laying around and I'm sure he would have no problem sparing one or two for the betterment of humanity.

then we can all nominate him for a nobel peace prize.     

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:11 | 4028837 shankster
shankster's picture

Humor! It might be funny if it were not true. And U forgot to put Detention Camps on there too.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:23 | 4028883 The Wisp
The Wisp's picture

Dude, who threw all them Old Roofing Nails.. behind that Billboard

  welcome to the resistance  man...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 20:37 | 4028914 Law97
Law97's picture

Wastin' away again in Obamaville ...

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:13 | 4029006 Mad Muppet
Mad Muppet's picture

 

"They needed to let the public know they are not above killing women in the presence of their children as such need arises. Murder was clearly their only option in this instance, as we all know, they could never have tracked her down later what with it being filmed by dozens of cameras and eyewitnesses and all......."

 

 

 

I can see that using these paid off handsomely.

 

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/high-tide-and-turn/2...

 

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 22:09 | 4029178 RiverRoad
RiverRoad's picture

Or shot her tires out; that would've been too easy.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:19 | 4029016 GoldRetriever
GoldRetriever's picture

Bank of America

JPMorgan Chase

Wells Fargo

Goldman Sachs

Fannie/Freddie

Sallie Mae

 

Obama's "Steal Team 6

 

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 21:24 | 4029037 Crusader Rabbit
Crusader Rabbit's picture

They took an open promenade that was designed to celebrate the open function of our way of life as expressed through our interaction with Our Government and placed narrow bollards in the middle of it.

In their desire to hide the security reinforcements by making them unobtursive, in a place they really don't belong, they suceeded so well I don't think the woman saw them.

After bouncing off them I'm sure she panicked, like a rabbit stuck on a wire fence. That ignited the frenzy.

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:13 | 4029324 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

If your Prez

 

Suck banker cock

 

Make it  better

 

A smooth jock

 

Burma Shave

Sun, 10/06/2013 - 23:35 | 4029349 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Make sure you give the commander-and-thief the middle finger salute.

About the only thing Barry is capable of commanding is the gay pride parade in Chicago.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 01:22 | 4029521 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Fuck you Barry you asshole.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 02:28 | 4029574 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

It's the Truman Show.....

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 05:05 | 4029656 MickV
MickV's picture

Obama and his cronies at DHS, NSA, etc are ALL domestic enemies of the United States. Obama is an illegal President (not a natural born Citizen, since he was born British, of a British subject father), installed for the express purpose of voiding the US Constitution. When the executor of the laws is an illegal entity, then there is no law, and the law is only what evil men and women say it is.

The domestic enemy Obama is overseeing the destruction of the US by Cloward Piven strategy, i.e overloading the system. It will not stop until we the people stop it, or when the former US Citizens are on their knees praying for "government help".

The executive and legisative offices of the former "United States" must be dragged from their offices and hung in the public square.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 05:29 | 4029666 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

All aboard the crazy train.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 06:02 | 4029682 obelisks
obelisks's picture

Japan has got much, much more to worry about than fucking stock markets! Seriously

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gqz9qDyZ004&feature=player_embedded  

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