Buffett's Bailout Bonanza

Tyler Durden's picture


In the past we have tried to show the growing divide between the haves and the have-nots in the US. Whether through this morning's "aggregate" Main Street vs Wall Street chart or various anecdotal indicators of diverging confidence. However, no one signifies the beneficiaries of the status-quo-sustaining government bailouts and stimulus better than Warren Buffett (who now, like Obama, sees stocks are full valued). The following chart shows just how well one can do with a few billion in your pocket and an ear for what the Government will do.


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Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:22 | 4032693 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

But how is his secretary doing ?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:33 | 4032703 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Buffett is leaving his fortune to his secretary (the portion that he's not donating to the "Bill & Melinda Gates We Are God & Decided That 500,000,000 Million Humans Is Max Capacity" fund) because he said it was it was it was unfair that she had to pay a higher tax rate on a % basis than he did.

His partner in robbing-the-taxpayers-blind-because-I-heart-bailouts crime, Charlie "Suck It Up Taxpayers!" Munger wants to be buried in his ill-gotten fiat, because that's how he rolls.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:43 | 4032744 ndotken
ndotken's picture

Buffett has done so well only because his buddy and fellow fucktard Ben Bernanke has been printing money hand over fist.  I'm sure I'd do just as well if The Beard took me behind closed doors and told me "I'll keep printing money until you and your Wall Street buddies tell me to stop."

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:07 | 4032799 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Buffett made a play on the golden rule, don't bet against city hall!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:15 | 4032818 knukles
knukles's picture

An "ear for what the government will do"
Humorous hyperbolic understatement, no?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:28 | 4032840 mofreedom
mofreedom's picture

double-mint & M&Ms...i should have quit drinking 50 years ago...oiy.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 02:16 | 4033138 wintermute
wintermute's picture

Max Keiser says Buffet is an intestinal parasite in the financial system. ZH shows us how fat this tapeworm has become!

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 09:08 | 4033421 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

And just who are the heirs, er trustees, of these charitable foundations benefitting from the largesse?  Gotta be a nice gig to land.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 05:15 | 4033197 Snoopy the Economist
Snoopy the Economist's picture

What's up with the math? 500,000,000 Million = 500 Trillion.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:27 | 4032708 cifo
cifo's picture

That's just below 40% in 5 years. Not too shabby, but not stellar either. His 30-year average was, at some point, if I remember correctly, above 20% per year.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:24 | 4032835 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

dividend income

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:33 | 4032848 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

She's lonely, Becky replaced her.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 00:28 | 4033055 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

WTF ever happened to Lauren Lyster?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:39 | 4032865 Rathmullan
Rathmullan's picture

I'm guessing the whoracle curmudgeon has greenlighted his lackies over at moodys to issue a downgrade the U.S. I'm guessing this weekend or Monday (he probably just needs a few more days to get his put positions built).  

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:20 | 4032694 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Mmm, yum, yum.  Wish my investments had gone that well!  Oh, but I have no connections!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:22 | 4032695 km4
km4's picture

Buffett the fattest pig at the government bailout trough and loves to get free fries with his burgers and cokes

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:29 | 4032713 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Dont tell flakmeister that. Uncle Warren is his hero and role model.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:27 | 4032696 One And Only
One And Only's picture

He should donate all of his money to the Treasury while he's still alive so we don't breach the debt ceiling.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:23 | 4032699 brewing
brewing's picture


Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:55 | 4032779 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture


Not to be confused with Edifice.

(Fixed it for you)

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:28 | 4032700 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Well no kidding he's making great deal... he has lot of insider trading info... and he's making backdoor deals with the feds. How the hell do you think he became a billionaire in the first place? Ethics? Lulz.

I mean the guy owns MOODYS for fuck sake. Just with Moody's rating's bullshit, just trading on insider trading from that, he can make billions. Any dumbass could.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:29 | 4032717 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Fuck you. He bought shares of coke asshole. That's how he got rich.

Any dumbshit knows Buffet is pure as a wind driven snow.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:57 | 4032781 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

I believe that's wind driven slush.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:22 | 4032834 knukles
knukles's picture

I saw that... coke and snow.... cute

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 13:22 | 4034419 TheRedScourge
TheRedScourge's picture

Actually what happened is these companies came to him and said "please lend us some money so our shareholders don't freak out and cause a run on our stock, since everyone's scared of the financial system toppling over!", he looked at their finances, and said "okay, but I want a nice dividend", and they said "deal".

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:26 | 4032707 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

You forgot to mention Barry gave him the Medal of Freedom.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:28 | 4032712 beavertails
beavertails's picture

Don't forget his rail interest.  All he had to supply was free crappy veggie burgers at DQ and voila, no Keystone XL Pipeline and higher pump prices for all.  F**KIN BEAUTIFUL.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:37 | 4032729 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

We saw BNSF trains on our recent trip to Wyoming and Montana.  He got a really nice asset there, the best-run of the Big Four railroads.  And a cozy deal with .gov to increase his fortune even MOAR!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:04 | 4032797 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

Do not forget how many mineral, oil, and water rights come with a railroad, and the various real estate it owns.


(Hint, scroll down the contact list and pay special attention to the first listing under Corporate Facilities Management Contacts)

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:32 | 4032722 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Yes, it's very nice to have "the winning seat" at the Casino de Fed.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:34 | 4032723 tchaser5858
tchaser5858's picture

This has to make his mistress Becky Quick happy.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:35 | 4032726 Esso
Esso's picture

Where's the pics of Becky Quick kissing his punky?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:38 | 4032731 Intelligence_In...
Intelligence_Insulter's picture

Ol buffet bailed out all the local papers around here.  The savy capitalist swooped in and managed to find profit in a dying business model.

Apparently there is profit in spewing propaganda, not add revenue.  Go figure.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:08 | 4032803 Hang Em High
Hang Em High's picture

Ayone around remember the Feshbach Brothers "FUCK WARREN BUFFETT" t-shirts?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:11 | 4032808 Mutatto
Mutatto's picture

never mind

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:24 | 4032838 Wilcox1
Wilcox1's picture

Heh, I guess ya win some and ya lose some

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 23:15 | 4032941 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I am going to pop a bottle of champagne and get laid when that useless old crony captialist fuck becomes worm food.

Couldn't happen soon enough.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 02:47 | 4033156 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Used to respect Buffett....but that was before 2000...since then (and likely much before it), he has been a fuck-myer and douchebag of the worst sort....


Tue, 10/08/2013 - 03:26 | 4033175 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

he bought when Wall Street declared "the end." he didn't just buy willy nilly either. He made Wall Street pay for his largesse and common sense. And Wall Street paid for that. the solution is the next bubble? He'll be ready for that next time too. Wall Street ain't out of the woods yet. There's no recovery here to start monetizing into. That's their business model...and blaming the Government or "regulations" ain't gonna change that fer shit. His best investment by far was M&T bank...which took the TARP funds and did the totally irresponsible thing with them and took out all their competitors with it. "thanks taxpayers!" we'll see how BNSF does going war...irony of ironies that the big winner from the collapse has been railroads. they are a proxy for the State however and they do make fortunes as a consequence. in my opinion if we'd gone all in on Syria that would have been what ran the effort. they still might actually. in the meantime let's see how big this bubble gets this time around. "The President wants surpluses." that's the plan. move along...

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 05:23 | 4033184 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Buffart - The Orifice of O-mah-ass.



...the Blowhard of Bailouts, the Pharoah of Phoney, the Honcho of Hypocrisy,  the Swami Of Sleaze, the Purveyor of Pablum, the King of Cronys, the Gereralissimo of Glib...

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 05:53 | 4033211 Disenchanted
Tue, 10/08/2013 - 08:42 | 4033223 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

hey old man...

you had your time

you had your fun.

you fuck

you crossed the line

many the times.

sodomised the earth and man.

hey old man

just die

wonte ya.

die but die nice painful and slowww

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 06:52 | 4033231 GoldIsMoney
GoldIsMoney's picture

I'm simply impressed. That's quite a record....

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 08:46 | 4033368 BigSpruce
BigSpruce's picture

...Ring Ring Ring.."Warren here" .."Hey baby , its Becky - oohh I am so proud of you - When can we meet"...

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 08:54 | 4033388 ComputerNerd
ComputerNerd's picture

Remember Mr Potter in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life"?  Well, there you have it. When everyone else was selling he was buying and being bailed out at the same time.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 13:55 | 4034493 ZH11
ZH11's picture


"Capitalism deproletarianizes the "common man" and elevates him to the rank of a "bourgeois." 



"The entrepreneurs and capitalists owe their wealth to the people who patronize their businesses."


"If you want to acquire wealth, then try to satisfy the public by offering them something that is cheaper or which they like better. Try to supersede Pinkapinka by mixing another beverage. Equality under the law gives you the power to challenge every millionaire. It is-in a market not sabotaged by government-imposed restrictions-exclusively your fault if you do not outstrip the chocolate king, the movie star and the boxing champion."


 "The much talked about sternness of capitalism consists in the fact that it handles everybody according to his contri- bution to the well-being of his fellow men."


The market is always right you're just envious and jealous bastards Von Mises said so. Buffet is rewarded because he is smarter and works harder than you and you know it!



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