• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

No Planes, No Trains, And No Automobiles As Record Smog Shuts Beijing

Tyler Durden's picture


China started re-opening roads and airports in Beijing and surrounding areas that have been shut by record high levels of smog. An estimated 430 million people were expected to travel during the holiday that ends today and with the air quality index "improving" from its highest possible level to below 200 (the line between heavy and medium pollution), some will be able to return home. The clips below are stunning (and no that is not 'fog'); summed up best by one Shanghai-based accountant that Bloomberg reports noted, "I won’t go to heavily polluted places like China’s north region as it’s either hazardous to your health or causes trouble when traveling."


Beijing Air Poluution Hits Highest


China smog shrouds Beijing and Northern China


Via Bloomberg,



“Beijing will see light rain tonight, which will make it easier for air pollutants to dissipate,” Beijing Meteorological Bureau said today in its official microblog. The bureau lifted a yellow alert on smog at 8:50 a.m., predicting that visibility will improve.


The closures yesterday of six expressways and disruption at Beijing Capital International Airport underscore the severity of pollution that has become the top cause of social unrest in China.




Police closed six expressways linking the capital city to Shanghai, Tianjin and Harbin yesterday, and 47 flights at Beijing Capital International Airport were affected.


Some parts of the expressways linking Beijing to Shanghai and Tianjin were still closed as of 9:40 a.m




The State Council, China’s cabinet, said last month it will cut coal consumption, close steel plants and control the number of cars on its roads to gradually eliminate heavily polluted days in as soon as a decade.




China will build a nationwide network within three to five years to monitor the impact of air pollution on health, the official Xinhua News Agency reported on Oct. 5, citing the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

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Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:10 | 4032313 involuntarilybirthed
involuntarilybirthed's picture

The plants seem to like it.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:17 | 4032337 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

When I'm in Beijing, I order the Sweet and Sooty Chicken and get a glass of fine Beaujolais Windex to wash it down.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:18 | 4032347 knukles
knukles's picture

See.  This is why America needs a carbon tax. 



Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:22 | 4032364 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Looks like LA in the 70s.

Yet, somehow, it's all up to the US to stauch the slow (and better yet, imaginary) bleed of global warming..... er, climate change, or whatever they're calling it this week.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:26 | 4032372 ACP
ACP's picture

Good point. Why isn't Tsar Obamba bombing China bombastically in the name of the environment?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:51 | 4032452 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

We must destroy the planet in order to save it.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 20:00 | 4032483 knukles
knukles's picture

I dunno what the big deal is...
Looks no different than Fresno on a hot midsummer's day with all the fucking pollution coming from San Francisco... and then the SF holierthanthoumotherfuckers go to Fresno and tell the Fresnoians they need to clean up their air in Fresno.

Amazing that a whole buncha SF'ers don't wind up in pink slime ground beef from Harris Farms...

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 20:20 | 4032534 Esso
Esso's picture

Egads! Can you get AIDS from a hamburger pattie?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 20:26 | 4032554 sushi
sushi's picture

It depends on which orifice is used.


Mon, 10/07/2013 - 20:49 | 4032620 donsluck
donsluck's picture

Do some research, Fresno's smog is mostly agricultural. San Francisco accounts for a small percentage.


Tue, 10/08/2013 - 01:04 | 4033089 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

So we should listen to people that can't the basic chemistry correct?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:24 | 4032691 ACP
ACP's picture

SF is more of a source of social pollution.

The inspiration for such newly passed laws that allow criminal aliens to get driver's licenses, practice law and for high school perverts to walk into female locker rooms to ogle and jerk off after saying they "identify with the female gender".

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 00:06 | 4033022 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture



"SF is more of a source of social pollution."

Yep, them turds on the sidewalk are NOT dogshit!

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 02:37 | 4033150 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

LA has gotten better when compared to the 60's but it seems like there's ALWAYS a nice brown layer in the sky driving up out of California's Central Valley - the ever present smog filling the valley.... visually tartling wwhen you see it for the first time.

However this summer, the forest fires led to astoundingly bad air quality - first with the Bishop fire and then with the Yosemite Rim fire.  Reno, Tahoe and halfway to Sacremento weree worst hit with the latter. You could drive 395 uo the eastern Sierras and not even know there were mountains on either side of you.  Couldn't see the tops of the casinos in reno from the road - noce post Apocalyptic orange and brown sky - your lungs hurt from the air - for weeks.   Bad fires down by LA and up by the Oregon line - not to mention in Arizona and Idaho.   One good wildfire does wonders for air quality - and often manages to take out a bunch of homes built by millionaires to enjoy pristine 'wilderness'.   Going to get worse with the West getting drier.

And whatever you have to say about NYC, I've never seen the air anywhere's near as bad as it can be out in Ca.   The climate and demogrsphic fundamentals aren't good to start - favoring the creation of pollution- and the geography tends to trap the pollution 

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 20:01 | 4032485 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Historic names in China are fun: Golden Swan, Peking Duck, Soaring Eagle.

The new names are quite different: Choking frog, smothered duck, boated pig.

The city neighborhoods are also new like Beijing's "Foggy Bottom" which seems a more accurate name then the American coutnerpart in DC.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 20:46 | 4032609 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

Is it called "boated pig" because they float?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:45 | 4032875 mofreedom
mofreedom's picture

cause the bomb's been stuck far beyond his rectum lo these many years.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 23:08 | 4032930 Notarocketscientist
Notarocketscientist's picture

Global warming will be stopped in its tracks as the cost of energy continues to climb.

Every $10 increase in a barrel of oil knocks 0.5% off GDP in developed countries.

Higher oil = economic collapse = permanent economic collapse.

Just wait a little longer - clear skies are on the way

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:22 | 4032360 involuntarilybirthed
involuntarilybirthed's picture

Beaujolais Windex?  That must be a French/Greek blend?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:29 | 4032383 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

What's not to like about breathing air you can see?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:44 | 4032749 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

That has got to be the best comment at Chinese expense, ever!

"Make me laugh!"

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:42 | 4032430 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

The Onion covered this ages ago:


Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:48 | 4032443 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

It's got electrolytes.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:49 | 4032449 akak
akak's picture

It's got what prants clave!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 20:49 | 4032616 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

BEIJING PM 2.5-755

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:19 | 4032687 akak
akak's picture

Let 1000 Flowers Wilt!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:37 | 4032854 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Great gasp forward!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:41 | 4032867 Jugdish
Jugdish's picture

Ha !! That's the mutha fuckin bernank with some just for men and S & M suit on.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 09:18 | 4033448 YHC-FTSE
YHC-FTSE's picture


Nice. Haven't commented for awhile, so a compliment for your efforts is a good start I reckon. Most of the headlines these days could be "presented without comments" as we say around here simply because of their WTF contents that really defy the notion that there are bottom limits to human stupidity and infantile tantrums enacted by the so called "adults" in government. 

Anyway it's odd how we're led to be "shocked" by the mundane repeats of history and growing pains of developing countries.  The 1952 "Pea Souper" London fog that lasted several days killed an estimated 12,000 people - a combination of weather and pollution, so this is nothing. I suspect they'll be sorting themselves out sharpish after a few more pollution shocks just like the rest of us, unless they want an entire generation of brain damaged morons running things in the future (Like the rest of us).

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:09 | 4032316 bjfish
bjfish's picture

Damn, I'm first & don't know what to say.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:13 | 4032326 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Maybe oops?

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:16 | 4032335 Teaser
Teaser's picture

As usual, the chinese are smarter than us.  They skipped implementing Obamacare.  Instead, the smog will guarantee no one makes it past age 70!  Brilliant!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:30 | 4032380 akak
akak's picture

Looks like somebody's supposed non-resource-consuming citizenism is blobbing-up again.

Makes you wonder how much of this smog* is actually airborne dust originating from human-generated roadside .... stuff.


*It is, of course, illegal to call it smog in China though --- it is officially "atmospheric manifestation of glorious Chinese economic double lucky advancement vigorously".

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:57 | 4032907 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Ah, ah, Chinese Citizenism Communautist Party tells very sighted of shortness. Gives no reflection on unintended consequences much the dangdang.

No cars on roads gives roadsides into center lane expansionings. Give squatting Chinese citizenism citizens additional kilometers of unspoiled road surface plentifully and, well, citizenish impulsions are incitated fantaisically.

Skidmarks abound undubiously, even the moreso when automobilings resume on road surfaces slickened extremistically.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:29 | 4032382 pods
pods's picture

Well there goes any clear videos of more epic fail boat launches.


Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:13 | 4032324 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Chinese pedestrian It Tu Tic comments: "Can't twell rickshaw from AnAnonymous stealing lumber for his road side shit shack!"

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:14 | 4032331 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

"Prease use fog rights and drive safery."

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 21:29 | 4032719 Milestones
Milestones's picture

While in Beijing several years ago I had occasion to visit a few homes and small businesses. What these people were burning was compressed coal--dust in most part. Needless to say how that stuff burns plus who knows how much of that dust goes airborne thru the flue.

I can understand the pollution problem now, which is far greater than while I was there--which was bad.         Milestones

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 22:51 | 4032893 mofreedom
mofreedom's picture

Why when i speak chinese to my son that every, and i mean every, consanent is an R.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 07:36 | 4033256 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Sum Ting Wong...Ho Li Fuk...Bing Bang Ow!

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:19 | 4032350 akak
akak's picture

Just have to bear with it.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 07:20 | 4033242 Raging Debate
Raging Debate's picture

Haha Mnewn mhake me raugh aso

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:16 | 4032325 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

It's the fault of those damned Tea Bagger radicals ... they want to starve kill your children, and they're doing it by making the Chinese pollute by making them worry too much about the value of the debt they are holding.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:53 | 4032464 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I brame Booosh.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 07:39 | 4033258 kralizec
kralizec's picture

U no likey boosh?  U likey boy?

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 01:07 | 4033095 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture


Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:16 | 4032329 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

The thoroughly modern answer to a dangerous air pollution reading of 200 is to change the scale to make 200 normal and 300 dangerous.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:34 | 4032398 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

That's my favorite thing about the modern fascist state - it's much easier to solve problems than it used to be.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 19:53 | 4032454 knukles
knukles's picture

Now that is seriously warped funny truth.

Mon, 10/07/2013 - 20:28 | 4032562 nmewn
nmewn's picture

It is isn't it...the man should be at a 100 ups by now, we are sooo fucked knukles.

Statistics & numbers don't lie, only people waving around stats & numbers lie.

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