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Mr.Ben S. Bernanke Would Like To Wire You Some Money (From Nigeria)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

With Chairsatan Ben's days at the Fed officially numbered, it seems some enterprising Nigerian businessmen have already found a new (and far more reputable many would say) position for the man who never once in his Chairman tenure initiated a tightening cycle, and single-handedly exploded the Fed's balance sheet over threefold.

From: BEN S. BERNANKE <mr.ben_sb.nyfrb1232@hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, Oct 8, 2013 at 12:24 PM
Subject: From Chairman Federal Reserve Bank New York.

 

NOTIFICATION OF CREDIT FROM BANK FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD.

 

Attn: Beneficiary,

 

We have this 8th day of Oct. 2013 received a payment credit instruction from the Federal Government of Nigeria to credit your account with your full Inheritance fund of USD 10.5 Million Dollars from the Nigerian reserve account with our bank,Federal Reserve Bank.

 

However, you shall required to provide the followings datas below:

 

{1}. Your Full Name and Address.:
{2}. Your Confidential Tel, Cell and Fax.
{3). Your Bank name and address.:
{4). Your A/c Name and A/c Numbers.:
(5). Your Swift Code / Routing Numbers.:
(6). Your Current Occupation And Your Working ID.

 

Thanks for banking with Federal Reserve Bank while we looking forward to serving you with the best of our service.

 

Regards,

 

Mr.Ben S. Bernanke
Chairman Federal Reserve Bank New York.

Aside for the glaring inaccuracy in the Chairman's title, one which will be wrong on more counts than one come January, perhaps the Nigerian scammers have accidentally stumbled on the next "strategy" to be unleashed by the Fed: not NGDP targeting, not forward guidance, but direct bank wires of "inheritances" and other sundry reserve transfers from the Federal Reserve, in real currency, preferably in the millions, to any and every US citizen with an email account.

Because with ever louder laments that the Fed has failed to stimulate every economist's so much beloved inflation (in everything but asset, energy, food, education and medical prices), has failed to generate the wealth effect except for the wealthiest 0.01%, has failed to disintermediate the banks from the inflationary and monetary pipeline, is there really any better way to provide fiat injections to everyone than by unsolicited email, with scammy intent or otherwise?

h/t @LongShortTrader

 

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Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:05 | 4036318 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

mr.ben_sb.nyfrb1232@hotmail.com

hotmail.com?

LOL...

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:12 | 4036349 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Beats Yahoo, that identity-less web "portal".  WTF is yahoo anyway?  What do they make? How do they contribute to GDP?

 

 

 

Thought so.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:18 | 4036376 remain calm
remain calm's picture

Dear Ben

You don't have the nuts to print like Smellen Yellen, sit back and watch the bitch print. Adios Motherfucker.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:30 | 4036414 XenoFrog
XenoFrog's picture

Looks legit. :D

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:58 | 4036471 old naughty
old naughty's picture

so, we'll see Ben heading to darker pastures...

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 21:55 | 4036691 Arius
Arius's picture

does this mean i wont get the money? i thought this was a new stimulus package ... was this a joke?

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 23:28 | 4036923 JayQuePublic
JayQuePublic's picture

Wait....what? I actually received this AND one from Christine Lagarde @ IMF on the same day - Quit my job, left the old battle-ax and bought a Saweeet 1957 Corvette convertible.  Now you're tellin' me it ain't so?  WTF am I gonna do?

Wed, 10/09/2013 - 00:15 | 4037003 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Carry on--you're three for three so far.  If some little scam letter set you on the better course in life, so be it.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:21 | 4036386 WelfareFTW
WelfareFTW's picture

imagine how low on the intellectual scale one would have to be to fall for this type of email. but then again in the land of the free, there are probably millions that fall into that category.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 22:59 | 4036851 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Unfortunately for the Nigerians many of those who might fall for this store their wealth on EBT cards which are harder to transfer.

Wed, 10/09/2013 - 09:03 | 4037522 DblAjent
DblAjent's picture

For an extra mil, I'll throw in my mom's maiden name, the name of my first pet, and the street I grew up on.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:07 | 4036331 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

sign me up!

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:10 | 4036341 logicalman
logicalman's picture

There ain't no Sanity Clause

 

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:13 | 4036345 y3maxx
y3maxx's picture

...Until proven otherwise, It's all Kabuki Theatre friends.

Two Parties?, not a chance.

Bernanke becomes the next USSA Ambassador to Israel.

Obama retires to Saudi Arabia to sell Camels

Boehner remains the Shabbos Goy

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:12 | 4036350 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

This looks identical to the Obamacare application.......

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:19 | 4036357 sixsigma cygnus...
sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

MDB, where are you?  This is the perfect fix.  Everyone gets a check for $1 million and the fiscal/monetary/economic  problems are over.  Instant fix, so easy! 

 

Somewhere out there, Krugman is reading this and scratching his beard and thinking...hmmmm.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:33 | 4036423 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Yeah, and overnight the price of everything goes up 1 million dollars.

 

Me so horney, me love you long time, one millin dolla pleese!

Wed, 10/09/2013 - 05:07 | 4037231 auric1234
auric1234's picture

Yes, but not because of excess of dollars. The serfs would use the helicopter drops to pay down their debts, thereby causing deflation but at the same time, supressing the demand for dollars down to zero.

They might even become wothless paper instantly.

 

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:19 | 4036372 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Ben S Bernanke wants to ease you, quantitatively.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 21:43 | 4036654 LawyerScum
LawyerScum's picture

Lucky for the Bernank that the anti-sodomy laws have been struck down by the SCOTUS.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:18 | 4036379 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Nigeria... Zimbabwe...whatever....close enough for French bank work....

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:21 | 4036390 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'll take my digital currency in large bills please.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:58 | 4036491 onelight
onelight's picture

Good times and riches and sonovabitches, I've seen more than I can re-call...(thanks Jimmy Buffett).

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:25 | 4036403 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

You can be sure it's a scam because the FED only gives free money to bankers.

Wed, 10/09/2013 - 05:00 | 4037227 auric1234
auric1234's picture

Don't fall for the trick. It's not money!! They just exchange monopoly paper among themselves.

All the money the FED had is long gone already. Ask the Germans.

 

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:42 | 4036450 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

The scammers are getting their info from the ACA application forms.....so don't worry, not a lot of people will get scammed.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 20:43 | 4036453 Quantum Darwinism
Quantum Darwinism's picture

I saw that email too this morning in my junk folder haha it cracked me up!! Those Nigerian what a great sense of humour!

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 21:09 | 4036520 DOGGONE
DOGGONE's picture

The Public Be Suckered, here:
http://patrick.net/forum/?p=1223928

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 21:18 | 4036550 El Crusty
El Crusty's picture

you know, Mexico isnt looking so bad these days. just have to make good with the local cartel and you're fairly safe and will have a pretty reasonable chance to prosper. not so different than up here except down there you have the advantage of knowing who actually runs the show.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 21:21 | 4036572 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Who woulda guessed that Ben was actually a Nigerian princess? I guess the facial hair should have given it away. But nice job on getting rid of the scars.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 21:33 | 4036617 Zombie_Economics
Zombie_Economics's picture

LoL, you have to admit, this is hilarious!

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 23:45 | 4036956 Money Squid
Money Squid's picture

10.5 million? pffffttttt they can keep that. Call me when Ben wants to send me some real money.

Wed, 10/09/2013 - 02:39 | 4037145 venzen
venzen's picture

Love Nigeria! love Nigerians! more of this, please!

 

This is exactly what the bank manager, local politician, senator and every other fucking suited scammer is doing day in and day out. But when a Nigerian does it descent folks get their knickers in a knot and the Financial Crimes unit gets a collective hard-on.

 

Think about that when you next pay bank service charges

Wed, 10/09/2013 - 03:46 | 4037184 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Greetings Fair and All Nice One,

Please, if it please you, let me have your deposits at the banks to loan out to others. I so promise to pay you 1% interest for my use of the money of yours.

if loan other no pay, i so promise to take his stuff and make mine. I still give you the 1% anyways.

if lot no pay, i will have your friend and uncle, i think he called Sam, pay me back with something called taxes. I still give you the 1% anyways.

If many lot no pay, Sam still pay me and we change your deposits to stocks in bank. You own part of bank and still get the 1%.

See, you can't loose.

No need to send info of personal, I already have. I just wanted to know you what I do for you.

Sincerely,

Ben Berstake

Main President and Helicopter Pilot

Republic of Goldman Sachs

P.S. I have $12,678,905 US in account here in Nigeria stuck. I give you 15% if you help. Let know.

Wed, 10/09/2013 - 05:51 | 4037251 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

How about we 'wire' Berstanke and Yellen and then ship the pine boxes to Nigeria?

Yeah I know, who's this "we" I speak of kemosabe...

Wed, 10/09/2013 - 20:03 | 4039753 Polymarkos
Polymarkos's picture

I really really really wish I had Bernanke's personal info...I could sign him up for Theft by Nigerians just like he's been stealing all our wealth for those behind the Fed Reserve.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!