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President Obama Unveils The Bernanke Mark II - Live Webcast
As the old Mark I Bernanke rusts and loses power, President Obama has been working on the new improved Mark II version of the Fed Chair. It's older, more female, less facial hair (from what we can see), but critically more dovish in all the places the US investing public demands... Behold, Yellenomics...
It wasn't a bad run for the Mark 1 Bernanke...
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"Call me Miss Yellen if you're nasty."
Fuck savers. ZIRP foEVA.
FUCK THE FED. If Americans had half a clue they'd call for an end to this corrupt institution by the end of the year.
Y: "Should we tell them about--."
O: "No, we still have a little time."
God I hate fat stupid people - can she just go away?
bernanke looks like a smarty weasel in comparison ...
bag holders everywhere from Kevin henry to hellen to mr. president
When compared to another weasel...
fuck you yellen.
Starting already are we?
Just like the 2008 financial crisis... I'll bet she didn't see that comment coming either!
So many "Fuck you Bernankes" over the past few years.
Shall I be the first to say it?
OK then.
Fuck you Yellen!
Looks something like Ayn Rand, only not nearly as hot.
Vote> I'd rather boink Janet Yellen
Vote> I'd rather boink Hillary Clinton
To indicate that you'd like to boink them both ASAP, simply do not cast a vote here...
either one has a much unused pussy. which is tighter? Of course, Hitlery probably has razor blades in hers.
Schumer: "Get to work ms chairman" youve gotz some printin to do!
That Yellen fellow has a tough job. I would not want to be that guy.
Meet the Fall Gal. Wonder who she pissed off. Must have been a doozy.
Yenta Yellen will be the perfect patsy. Average American, "there is some ugly, old jewish hag running the FED, no wonder the dollar collapsed."
Are you jellin'?
I'm jellin' like Yellin who's gonna be smellin' like a felon after makin' the Fed's balance sheet swellin' like a melon!
It's the start of the "Yellen FED Rap" song.
I like the grimace on whatsis's face. Like, "I am too a manly decisive leader; and not the passive faggot dope smoking commie idiot all my college friends remember"; LOL.
I can't wait until they come out with the M-5 Multitronic unit. That should be so much better than the Mark II.
Hmmm, none of you old time Star Trekkers got my reference to the episode "The Ultimate Computer". Im sure Yellen will make a good Mark II though, hopefully she won't go berserk like the M-5 did. Although, maybe we stackers would be OK with that.
“For my own part,” Ms. Yellen said, “I did not see and did not appreciate what the risks were with securitization, the credit ratings agencies, the shadow banking system, the S.I.V.’s — I didn’t see any of that coming until it happened.” Her startled interviewers noted that almost none of the officials who testified had offered a similar acknowledgment of an almost universal failure.
I noted no mention of legislative or regulatory failure in that statement.
Not according to the great re-write man of modern history; Mr. foreign exchange student, himself; the native born american Kenyan-Malay prophet. Let's face it; "Nobody knows nothin"; and reality is whatever the TV said 15 minutes ago.
Yeah! Obama is finally leading the country..............
..........to economic ruin
Why is Driving Ms. Daisy on the TV at this hour?
"In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, it was planned that way." … FDR
http://tinyurl.com/m5y3xcd
http://tinyurl.com/mtsfyvq
http://tinyurl.com/ldp9n8l
http://tinyurl.com/m2gghkr
"It is not in human nature to deceive others for any long time, without in a measure deceiving ourselves also." --John Henry Newman
This post explains it all:
"The reason Obama is worse than bush is because bush was a stupid. Obama is better at doing anything better than bush, even the bad things he is doing. When the peoples who are pulling the strings were having a new puppet they were knowing having a stupid puppet was not a good thing to be having so the puppet they were having the next was a very smarter puppet. The cheney who was president was having much angries at his stupid puppet was having the knowledges to not be using puppets who were being too stupid again."
that's awesome
I'm trying to use Google translate to decode that garbage, but unfortunately there is no Zombie language option.
OK, let me see if I can translate it for the ZH rabble:
Obama == Dumb
Bush == Dumber
Obama & Bush == Dumb & Dumber
Beavis and Butthead.
Of all the things that have ever been said, that was definately one of them.
"if you are real nasty, smell my taint"
Protip: Pick the scab and let it run clear.
Thanks for fucking ruining what I am pretty sure was me getting lucky tonight with the Mrs.
How the hell do I even begin to concentrate on doggy style with THAT image?
Just cut out a picture of Old Yellen Stain and tape it to the back of the wife's head. Should make for an entertaining evening.
Does anyone know where the reference "Old Yellow Stain" originates?
Clue: Humphrey Bogart
"The Caine Mutiny".
A great movie.
PS: The episode of the missing strawberries was always a great joke in our family, as my dad served in the navy in WWII and LOVED strawberries.
Beat me to it!
The captain, however, was way more less insane than Bath House.
They both juggled balls, however.
hahahha, you'll be going at it, look down, and mr willie will peter out.
I prefer "Ole Yellen" but that's me...
BTW -
will his Obozoness get his due over this shit?
http://dailycaller.com/2013/10/09/white-house-irs-exchanged-confidential...
I hope the sheik is haunted tonight by the ghost of Milhous!!!
Impeach.Convict.Imprison.at.Gitmo.
That's not Miss Yellen, it's a man, baby!
Pete Rose
Ole Yellen:
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
That, that dude looks like a lady
Cruise into a bar on hte shore
Her picture graced the grime on the door
She's a long lost love at first bite
Baby maybe you're wrong but you know it's all right
That's right
That, that
That, that
Backstage we're havin' the time
of our live until somebody say
Forgive me if I seem out of line
Then she whipped out her gun and tried to blow me away!
[Chorus]
Never judge a book by it's cover
or who you gonna love by your lover
Sayin' love put me wise to her love in disguise
She had the body of a Venus, Lord imagine my surprise.
[Chorus]
So baby let me follow you down (let me take a peek dear)
Baby let me follow you down (do me, do me, do me all night)
Baby let me follow you down (turn the other cheek dear)
Baby let me follow you down (do me, do me, do me, do me)
Oo, what a funky lady
Oo, she like it, like it, like it, like that.
Oo he was a lady!
[Chorus]
[Chorus]
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Make that "bernanke (weimer deutsch)-mark II".
Yellen Fuck You, Janet!
I wish you could hear it....
RIPS
Sorry to say, I called it when we asked here several weeks back.
Stupe
Dont you mean "Mach II"?
Marx II ?
Marx brothers is more like it - without the laughs.
Soon to be Ludicrous Speed
The Princess of Plaid.
(Or maybe Prince. It's unclear.)
Not sure what everybody is worried about. Time is on our side.
R. I. P. $$$
Damn market ramp...gonna encourage her even more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31g0YE61PLQ
the mark of bernanke...
sounds biblical
"Damn it, Janet"
Thems were the days. Rocky Horror party every friday night. May heaven be in the form of the early to mid 70's when i leave this earth next month.
Take out the trash when you go, m'k?
Easy Money II for the 1%.
TBTF...Winning!
Something tells me Mr Yellen won't last as long as the Bernanke.
Until the collapse, but not any longer than that.
More like Eugene Black (1933-34)
Not sure what song she will be introduced with, but the outgoing song should be "When doves cry."
pods
I would have gone with this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSUIQgEVDM4
Boys! Looks like we're officially dealing with a fuckin Samsquanch! Bubbles Fuckin Samsquanch - YouTube
+100 for Bubbles!
Mr Lehey: "There is a shit storm coming, Randy, a shitstorm with YOUR name on it. You and Julian both!"
She'll be Yellen, "It's Super QE time again !!!!"
i fucking hate this bitch so much.
i guess they needed to nominate her today so the markets finished green.
also makes lots of sense hw gold and silver are down when the bitch that is being nominated is a fucking printing press.
It's one day at a time
Sellin' and jellin' with Yellin. Oh, the horror, the hoar ore.
Introducing Ms. Debtfire, sure to burn through few trillion more...
I think I might like 'Mrs Debtfire' even better than Ole Yellen....
He - Mrs Debfire - classic.
I have to agree with you LOL
"Ms. Debtfire"
Indeed!
Bernanke's handing over a Jenga tower economy that consists of only center-blocks. "I quit. The next move is yours, Janet"
What is the appointment backed by, besides... fiat decree?
Fuck You Yellen!
how awesome would it be if she did not get confirmed. i would be so fucking happy, i dont know what i would do.
..sell the S&P, drinks lots of beers?
so I guess october is taper back on the table , which will offset news of Yellen as next Fed president . Will they taper ? its amazing how just after 4 weeks form sep taper talk we find ourselves in the exact same place !
Only now everyone who was convinced of not taper in september but changed his mind because of the massive consensus days before the meeting , is now POSITIVE they will not taper in october ... My punt for whatever its worth , they will taper . Then Yellen will take the helm and un taper in January . We have no major economic data until the fed meeting , which makes me think that if they want to taper they should wait for december so Bernanke is happy before he goes , the problem there is , the market will then not have time to recover on expectations of un tapering in January by Yellens fed . Causing major disruptions for retailers during christmas . Like I told you before , Bernanke run out of time , he will be remembered as Helicopter Ben , hardly what he expected when he first became president and thought he was going to save the world . This has all become a mix of communist central planning with a twist of hard core capitalism and a touch of nazi type state control , all served in a beautiful glass with a pink straw representing fredom Surely if someone came back from the 80s would think these people are nuts .
Rules for Bolshevik Holocaust deranged megalomaniacs wanted
Potus mounts the stand and declares :
Damn it, Janet!
so funny seeing bernanke there while this fucking douchebag president whom i wish may bad things upon, announces yellen as next fed.
she has those crazy "i am going to print till i kill them all" eyes.
Cut the deficit on half. WTF is he talking about?
Perhaps Jamie and Lloyd told him that in light of the trillion dollar deficits, that billion dollar paychecks would have to be expanded beyond senior executives of private Wall St. firms- all they have to do is increase the pay of the .0001% banksters more than they spend on the entire rest of the populations handouts- SS+SNAP+Healthcare+MIC... That and keep that algo running that just passes single shares of stock back and fourth at ever increasing prices. Or maybe Barry just smoked a bit much choom and pulled a Gov Moonbeam when he heard about the Twitter IPO.
Fuck you, Hussein!
I need to puke :(
Jesus H. Christ! Doesn't that fukker do anything other than golf and campaign? Fuck, I wish he would just give it a rest already.
How much more farcical can this get? It's like living in a cartoon. I mean can they find people that look anymore fucked up than this THING called Yelken. They should change their names like Popes. WIERD Al Yellen.
According to CIBC World Markets:
https://app.box.com/s/1hz07yh07pze8p6awmhi
Enter Yellen: What a New Fed Chair Could Mean for Policy
The nomination of Janet Yellen as Fed Chair, to be announced today according to the White House, and likely to be approved early in 2014, does not usher in a new era of more dovish policy for the Fed as some in markets may fear. Yellen’s FOMC voting record has matched Bernanke’s and her speeches have largely echoed the themes of her predecessor. Bonds may see a temporary boost on the appointment of Yellen to the helm (pending Senate confirmation), given her support of the Fed’s overall dovish stance. However, assuming an amicable passing of the current debt ceiling and budgetary deadlock, we see longer-term risks of a sell-off as the drag from fiscal policy eases in 2014, giving even a Yellen-led Fed justification to scale back bond-buying by early next year.
Profile: Vice Chair of the Federal Reserve, formerly Chair of the White House Council of Economic Advisers under Clinton and President of the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco.
No Perma-Dove: A look at Yellen’s speeches may lead some to believe that the next Fed Chair is a staunch monetary policy dove. Her emphasis on the destructive nature of long-term unemployment and the cyclical drivers of higher joblessness has highlighted the need for continued easy policy. She has also stated that the Fed’s growing balance sheet is not a roadblock to an eventual smooth exit from QE, and that there is no evidence that asset
purchases are harming financial market functioning. And as Chair the FOMC Subcommittee on Communications, she has been a driving force in formulating tools, including threshold guidance, which have been used to reinforce the Fed’s easing.
But Yellen is no easy-money ideologue. With the Fed facing the greatest downturn since the Great Depression, Yellen’s dovish views and speeches have simply hewn closely to the Fed’s overall dovish stance. A look at her voting record shows votes cast in line with the FOMC majority, including Ben Bernanke, with not a single dovish dissent since the onset of the crisis. Her lack of concern about inflation has been vindicated by the facts, with annual CPI trending below the 2% mark. And she hasn’t always been the voice for more monetary policy accommodation on the Fed. There have been episodes in her career when she has taken a more hawkish tilt, including the May 1996 FOMC meeting where she pointed to the “…need to be nervous about rising inflation”, later that year describing labour markets as “undeniably tight”.
Yellen’s Preferred Employment Indicators: One factor explaining Yellen’s support of the Fed’s easy policy is the continued stagnation in the jobs market. In a March 2013 speech, Janet Yellen identified her preferred indicators for gauging whether there has been a substantial improvement in the labour market outlook justifying a tapering in Quantitative Easing.
- Hiring as a share of employment (Chart 1, left)
- Job quits as a share of employment (Chart 1, right)
- Nonfarm payrolls (Chart 2, left)
- The pace of spending growth (Chart 2, right)
Only the quit rate, which could signal that workers are more optimistic about finding new jobs, has been trending stronger in recent months, with the remaining measures of job market health either flat-lining or softening relative to earlier in the year. So rather than a hawkish/dovish ideological slant, the cold hard fact that the US jobs market has yet to show signs of measurable improvement is likely the key factor motivating Yellen’s support for continued QE bond buying.
For now, fiscal uncertainty continues to cloud the outlook for US economic growth. But if policymakers in Washington are able to extend the debt ceiling and agree on a fiscal deal without new cuts to 2014 spending, an easing fiscal drag could see a 3%-plus pace of US growth next year. That substantial improvement in the outlook for economic activity and hiring could see the Fed begin to scale back the pace of its asset purchases by early 2014, to the surprise of many in markets who may be erroneously expecting more caution from a Yellen-led Fed.
Christ himself is weeping. Just yesterday we were treared to the jive bunny, horse faced nightmare of 'Two And A Half Foot Face' inbred cunt kerry, and now this?
This bloke is even more, if thats possible, hidious than the 'Keeries'. I mean for fucks sake I asked if they found them under bridges but please???? This one looks like its mother sat it in the ugly tree at birth and it fell out and hit every branch. Fuck, If you shaved my arse, put lip-stick on it, and teached me to walk backwards I would be less of an affront to your senses than this abomination of dispicability.
ZH, you can fuck off if you keep this up, who the fuck are you bringing out to assault my sensibilities tommorow then?? Dont tell me, them clowns that eat folk from the 80's are running as 'BO's' helpers??
I feel rightly traumatized seeing this.
;-)
After giving the world the Royal Family, you really have no room to talk.
Bit-Chez!
becasue nobodyhas said it today.
keep stackin'
keep packin'
I took bold action on the toliet today!!!!!!
Why doesn't he go all in and just start calling him "Benny"?
Can't Potus call him Chairman Bernanke? Or Ben Bernanke.
too bad Ben, we only give Nobels preemptively now
How can anyone listen to this? His voice has become "nails on the blackboard"
I mute everything when the Twerk's voice comes on.
A new name!
I may abandon Sheik Alabama for the Twerking Tweet.
"Babay, do that again, it's so much better than that Miley girl."
"Ok, Reg. How's this?"
"Ohhhh!"
oh god, he went off script and lots of uh, uh, duh, apmph, oh, uh ah ah eieio
Big shoutout for Big Ben .... He saved the western world
she sounded the alarm, didn't she say she never saw it coming?
BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS BS.
did this asshole just say yellen predicted the housing bubble and the financial crisis?
wasn't it the total opposite, she did not see it coming?
The BS just got real deep.
Hahah I was just about to type that. This also coming from the snake that in 2006 is quoted denouncing a debt ceiling to now fighting to raise it.
This was the first time I had her Mr. Yellenator speak. I wouldn't trust that lady Chucky Cheese tickets let alone tokens.
first the kagan monster now this .... shes so fugly... goood dam!
Who says, "Jane, you ignorant slut" now?
He's one helluva liar.
My what big teeth you have, grandma
"the mistakes of the reckless few". For a second I thought he was going to say George Bush.
"RELEASE THE QE-RACKEN!"
Given two other fellow tribeswomen and one psuedo-tribeswoman from San Francisco (Finestain, Boxer, Pelosi) all being instrumental in how f%cked we are, tell me again why I should feel confident about this appointment?
o my lord, i can not listen to this bitch for the next however many years. shes unbearable.
Her voice! OMG!!
With two you get egg roll.
It just goes to show how out of ideas and uncaring these self-involved beasts are.
When people don't have jobs to buy shit they don't need, nobody is going to be able to afford to be a debt-serf to these slavers.
Have ANY of these fed people every ran a business themselves and made payroll for a going concern?
That is NOT a rhetorical question.
Sorry to say we have read this script before.
Give it twenty years, it all ends in a very hot oven.
The Chinese have to be laughing so hard they are pissing their pants.
solid gold necklace, check it out
That's a "solid barbarous relic necklace".
Yeah that's how the bitch reminds herself of the company line, "it's a tradition"
And bullshit about the beard. She's got one alright, just not up top.
I did! Dammit, I wasn't close enough to do a snatch and run!
I did acquire some neat plastic capsules for my Au sovereigns today, but they fell into a sewer grate as I was admiring them in their new plastic repositories.
Maximum employment first of three goals stated by Yellen, before stable prices, before a stable financial system.
Yes, Comrade, you must work for your healthcare! Back to the mines!
I think we might take her priorties as listed in the inverse order -- it makes so much more sense that way.
It’s bad enough to have a central banker but to have a central banker that is a woman? I can’t imagine a worse scenario – a woman’s weaknesses, i.e., that instinct of nurturing added to a central banker’s power to pick winners and losers in the economy, to wipe out some and reward others, willing to split the baby in half in an unreasonable judgment, combined to work with someone who doesn’t care about the country, who just wants to reward his race and the bankers?
I can’t think of a worse combination.
A sacrosanct Zionist female at the helm of a drone swarm would be a worse combination, by a hair...
We don't think that is a woman. Or, if she is, then she certainly isn't nurturing. Nurturing implies caring. She's a FED banker. In other words, she'd eat here own children if it meant making a buck.
Let's all just face it, the country is already bankrupt (morally and financially). All that is left is the collapse.
Apparently the truth is like money - fungible.
Ah, but is it maleable, like gold?
wow...just turned it on and the lies were spewing out of it's face hole: recovery progressing, economy stronger...yadda, yadda, yadda...
wow...just wow...
We're going to have to listen to her for the next few years !!! I can't even listen for a few minutes. Can you imagine her explaining why the American financial system has collapsed.
END....THE....FED....NOW!!!
Always good to see someone looking out for the future of the country who will criss into her 70's during her term.
At least she's dressed for the occasion: In funeral-black. We mourn the passing of the American Freedom.
Info-Twerker-in-Chief rolling off the Teleprompters.
Regarding Shalom Ben... "Son of a pharmacist" is not what comes to mind, when I think of Ben bar Philip.
The Senate will confirm her, cause they will do as the Fed shareholders tell them.
She will help unemployment? What, with CTL-P!? LMAO. My Laptop can do that and... MOAR.
Right off the bat she's into PC/weasel-words: She's thanking her "spouse" George? I think the word is "husband".
Quick, somebody ask her if "Gold is Money" and "All else is Debt", as JP Morgan asserted!
"...Oh, and, Congressman, a thick letter just arrived by courier from the Fed. I placed it on your desk."
"Thank you, Smithers."
God now I have to look at that cow for years. My dick is gonna shrink into me permanently.
Bernanki used to do it for you huh... was it the beard or the sweet little lies?
Does she not have K-Hen's number in her BlackBerry?
Come on Janet, time to celebrate!
really? The fuckin Church Lady?!?
"And Mr. Brnanki was soooo brave with all his poowerful tools has made a bett.... SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
I was hoping that the audience shots afterwords would capture an accidentally candid "what a bunch of BS" remark, with a few eye rolls thrown in.
However, I really like her silver helmet. Are those available at Amazon, just in time for Halloween?
Yeah, or a nervous: "Can we stop clapping yet?"
Hirsch* heiss ich, hier scheiss ich.
* Yellen (Slavic) = Hirsch (German, Yiddish) = Stag (English)
Fed has powerful tools. Print money, and adjust interest rates. The equivalent of a jack-hammer, and explosives.
JY: "How about increasing the interest rate .000015%"
BB: "No, no, no. This is science, not guess-work. You'll crash the economy with such an outrageous sum. It needs to be increased only .0000149%"
Just a couple of retards, trying to figure out if they were punched, bored, or shot with a gun.
JR ur throwing the word woman around pretty losely arent chu?
With a rebel Yell,
She cried Moar Moar Moar
Two Jewish princesses in a row for Fed chairman?