This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
The Onion's Guide To Understanding The Debt Ceiling Crisis
The Treasury Department has warned that the continued failure by Congress to raise the debt ceiling would leave the United States unable to pay all of its bills and may force the country to default on its government bonds. Here are some helpful answers to the most common questions about the debt ceiling crisis:
What is the debt ceiling?
The debt ceiling is a specifically defined yet changeable clause in official federal legislation that ensures that our country becomes embroiled in maddening, childish theatrics every few months or years.
How high is the debt ceiling now?
Just like normal ceiling height.
When will we hit the debt ceiling?
On Thursday, Oct. 17 at precisely 5 p.m. Eastern time, when the nation’s $46 billion cable bill comes due.
What happens if the government defaults on its debt?
The United States will lose the credibility and respect we incorrectly assume other nations still hold toward us.
How would a government default affect the economy?
Picture a cake, small crumbs of which fall off during each slice, or transaction, whenever money is lent to institutions from the Federal Reserve. It is a thick, rich sponge cake with icing. The icing is the American people.
How would a government default affect me?
It’s always about you, isn’t it? Prick.
Has the government ever defaulted on its debt before?
No, although it came close in 1877 when Rutherford B. Hayes installed the White House’s first telephone, then ordered 900,000 pizzas.
What do Republicans want in exchange for raising the debt ceiling?
Reasonable solutions to create an affordable, private, cost-effective health care system, a renewed emphasis on the entrepreneurial spirit that makes this country so great, long-term investments in our economy and infrastructure to build a stable and sustainable middle class, and a return to constructive political discourse.
How can I explain this crisis to my children?
You have kids? Uh-oh.
Are the debt ceiling crisis and government shutdown connected?
Technically no, but in many Eastern veins of thought it is believed that all things in the universe are connected. The cherry blossom and earthworm do not know the other exists, but is it not the fallen petal that provides nourishment to the earthworm, and is it not the earthworm that enriches the soil for the blossom’s mother tree? Perhaps there is more truth in seeing the world and everything in it as one than in believing that things are separate.
Why do we need Congress to raise the debt ceiling?
You know what, you’re absolutely right. We don’t need Congress. Let’s just do it ourselves! Come on, everyone!
- 33192 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -


"We don't need congress."
If you went home today and found the main line had burst and had filled your house with sewage all the way to the ceiling - would you raise the ceiling or remove the shit?!?!?!
Guillotine for the Plumbers...
IMF saying "how about robbing 10% of everyone's bank accounts?" in plain sight. (p.49)
http://www.imf.org/external/pubs/ft/fm/2013/02/pdf/fm1302.pdf
Nah, let's just QE the money supply to infinity - that'll take an even larger percent and no one, including Know-Bell bearded economists, will be the wiser.
Why would anyone take a Monopoly Game so serious? I would if I lived in Iran or Syria...
The lunatics running the asylum have found the paymasters (the fed and foreign governments ) are more than happy to pay whatever it takes to keep the American serfs in perpetual debt slavery, seeing as they for the most part make their payments on time and the serfs for the most part remain unaware.
Repudiate the debt to the Fed.
It's a private bank and a den of thieves.. screw'em.
Issue US currency, replace all FRN's.. totally sovereign checkmate.
Nationalize the largest half dozen "investment banks", fire everybody, arrest some, execute some., spin'em off after you clean them up.
Repududiate all non-US/domestic CDO's. Take town the synthetic market and shadow banking system. Let the foreigners figure out how to clean their own act up.
Shutter the IMF and the ESF.
Repeal the 17th Amendment.
Fire the whole IRS and replace them with two guys, Bernie Maddoff's old AS-400 and a 10 % flat tax like in Russia.
WTF, it's Friday and it's happy hour.
"Picture a cake, small crumbs of which fall off during each slice, or transaction, whenever money is lent to institutions from the Federal Reserve. It is a thick, rich sponge cake with icing. The icing is the American people."
please mister onion.
teach me how to write like that.
holy shit mister onion.
that was beautiful.
smoke some pot...amen...not me...i don't write anymore.
@ Manthong
"Nationalize the largest half dozen "investment banks", fire everybody, arrest some, execute some., spin'em off after you clean them up."
PROSECUTE UNDER CURRENT LAW the largest half dozen "investment banks", fire everybody, arrest some, execute some., spin'em off after you clean them up.
"Repeal the 17th Amendment."
Repeal the 16th Amendment. THe Federal Reserve Act. Soc Sec. Medicare. etc, etc.
"Fire the whole IRS and replace them with two guys, Bernie Maddoff's old AS-400 and a 10 % flat tax like in Russia."
Fire the whole IRS and replace them with NOTHING.
Institute a fee based system to fund the absolute minimum and only those specified by The Constitution.
Then go about dismantling the rest of it.
There fixed it for ya.
OK.. I'll give that one to you.
maybe I was not aggressive enough in my prescriptions...
and the AS-400 has long since passed the update stage.
Edmund Burke, in a speech to Parliament during the Revolutionary War made comments to the effect that the colonies, except for fighting the British, were getting along quite well without a central government.
Well worth the 22 minutes:
http://mises.org/media/3120/American-Revolution-and-the-Spectre-of-Anarchy-The-HamiltonSeabury-and-PriceLind-Debates
think of the debt like a fat aunt you don't want to kiss
she only comes around once a year but she gets larger every year and while you hate her and ignore her, she's still yours
"seeing as they for the most part make their payments on time" How much longer will that happen?
That report was illuminating.
If trickle-down doesn't work, why does the IMF advocate confiscating money and using their hyper-efficient bureaucracy to distribute it?
B-b-but the debt-ceiling was passed by both houses of Congress, signed by the President, and upheld by the Supreme Court.
How could we possibly change it now?
I'm sure at least one person in that loop had their fingers crossed behind their back.
Prick.
2 plumbers was all it took to organize the recall of 2 rat shit anti gun nazi democrats from Colorados Clowngress.
Raising the ceiling would create more jobs. Part-time, of course.
29.5 hours of load-bearing per week. Sounds fun.
No, no, and no. That's 59 hours! Think that 29.5 hours will pay for your childrens cat food? Back to work!
@Pladizow , you owe me a keyboard... LMAO +100
***would you raise the ceiling or remove the shit?***
I'd return the house keys to the bank and walk away. It's bad enough the the house is under water financially. But being under shit as well is more than I could take.
Lets eat shit.
I wouldn't do it with the house.
And, I assume this may not be a popular post, but . . .
The scary part to me, would seem to be that I'm pretty sure they wouldn't even have to "cut spending" to really help out our economy here in the US -- they could most likely really help the growth of our economy by merely slowing the rate of growth of government to where the very meager economic growth could catch up with it a little, if not hopefully surpass it. They need to just stop growing spending so fast. This would be like raising the ceiling but by somewhat less.
And they can't even just agree to that.
Look at these charts and remember how much better the economy was back during the Clinton / early-Bush days when costs of doing biz in the US were lower, back when employees were less expensive and more plentiful, back when spending and deficits as a percent of GDP were much lower. They could just cut everything about 1 or 2%. Come on, I'm sure we could do it.
http://www.usgovernmentspending.com/spending_chart_1970_2013USp_14s1li11...
http://www.usgovernmentrevenue.com/revenue_chart_1970_2013USp_14s1li111l...
http://www.usgovernmentspending.com/spending_chart_1970_2013USp_14s1li11...
http://www.usgovernmentspending.com/spending_chart_1970_2012USp_14s1li11...
Ah, the good old days.
(And, I wonder why the tax revenues collected by the govt as a portion of the economy are so much lower now that we have the higher tax rates under Obama? /sarcasm off)
.gov types consider modest reductions in the rate of growth to be draconian cuts in critical services that will kill the elderly and starve children.
When the leg is black from gangrene, you don’t need a pen knife.
.. you need a machete and a bone saw or a Sawsall.
'But they can't even agree to the pen knife, let alone what might be more logical. Doesn't Medicare estimate that something like 10 or 20% of their payouts are thought to likely be fraudulent -- I think I read something like that somewhere, at a somewhat legit sounding dot gov type address. Imagine that.
I personally believe you're being way too kind when you say that .gov types consider modest reductions in the rate of growth to be draconian cuts. They (I'm referring to the top tier here, not the obedient grunts) certainly claim that such is the case, but do they really believe it? More likely is that such claims are simply a smokescreen for their true feelings, as they have no qualms about killing children (both before birth and in certain cases after birth) as well as inventing those IPABs, aka death panels, to 'care' for those elderly you mention.
Debt is just another word for counterfeiting.
+1
Excellent Definition!!
DaddyO
We're all playing Monopoly. Unfortunately for us, the Banker has a copy machine and a loaded Uzi...
The Onion has some classics.
The Money Hole
http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-should-the-government-stop-dum...
indeed, a classic.
..maybe only rivaled by..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thSTpGnWEAs
counterfucking
"We don't need congress."
Just what Obama wants."We don't need congress."
Hold on there F-Tipp. That would leave us with Obama and the Supremes.
Would there really be any difference?
Soon to be Obama and ... Bo? Michelle? Bye bye SCOTUS at that point.
Sending these assholes money every year is just encouraging their bad behavior. Time to cut them all off...
We would like to publicly thank the Onion for many years of top-notch satire. Bravo!!
Yeah...wait, but our gubmint...ahh..umm...who is providing the satire for whom again?
Only those who get the joke?
"We would like to publicly thank the Onion for many years of top-notch satire. Bravo!!" but sadly, their services are no longer needed. the farce is now reality.
viahj--I gave you a reddie, not at all because your point is incorrect, but because the Onion is one of the few organizations with the balls to make things more readily apparent.
the court jester's services were/are always necessary, no matter the source.
But the farce has not propagated into the so-called "minds" of the so-called "low-information-voters", so the farce remains necessary.
- Ned
Onion having to dig very deep to imagine up satire that is over the top of the satire from Wash DC...very difficult.
Where is the satire? Oh you mean the part about what the Republicans want...gotcha'.
Yeah, that part really teared me up of laughter
Ummm..
Buy some gold, bitchez.
http://www.fofoa.blogspot.com/
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
US Federal Debt – Problem Solved
The American government has been spending trillions of dollars on programs it had no Constitutional authority to create, and such unconstitutional expenditures exceed the amount of the federal debt. Therefore,
Not only are most government programs themselves unconstitutional, but the debt used to pay for these unconstitutional programs, which were created by previous taxpayers, is paid for by future taxpayers. Therefore,
Taxation without representation is also unconstitutional. In fact, it is the reason America seceded from the British empire.
Given that the US Constitution is pretty simple, then anyone who loaned money to the US government should have known that they were loaning money to a fraudulent and illegitimate enterprise and thus should not expect repayment.
Of course, there would be a huge consequence – no one would be willing to loan money to the US government again until it started obeying the Constitution, which would be ...
Good!
+1 Exactly. We are not talking about a private debt between two individuals who pledge a trade of goods or property for other goods or property. This out of control and unconstitutional government looted their money and are pledging the property and livlihood of our children for their personal gain.
Repudiate the National Debt -Murry Rothbard.
I so would've loved to have met that man.
Instead, I merely toast him in the evenings when I fill my Rothbard "Enemy of the State" glass with a fine ale from my beer fountain.
Cheers to that N/A..
I thought Rothbard was a Mary...learn something every day. Wait, wait, down arrows...kablooie.
It's getting hard to tell Onion stories from "real" news stories.
Nothing's shocking any more.
The Onion knows it's funny. MSM doesn't, that's what makes it more funny.
Onion news source is actually much more honest than any other News source by far.
True, especially this new report:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqggW08BWO0
The Onion - now the best source of real news and insightful reporting.
Jesters have long been the source of political enlightenment.
+1 Succinct and to the point... and very funny.
"Cherry Blossom...fallen petal..." How did we get Abenomics and the carry trade linked in here? I think lampreys and sharks are better metaphors.
Unfortunately, the frequently subtle sarcasm of The Onion has been overtaken and far exceeded by the 'full speed ahead' insanity of our present political and economic reality.
What do Republicans want in exchange for raising the debt ceiling?
"Reasonable solutions to create an affordable, private, cost-effective health care system, a renewed emphasis on the entrepreneurial spirit that makes this country so great, long-term investments in our economy and infrastructure to build a stable and sustainable middle class, and a return to constructive political discourse."
Isn't this what the DEMs want as well ? ... oh wait....
"What do Republicans want in exchange for raising the debt ceiling?
Reasonable solutions to create an affordable, private, cost-effective health care system, a renewed emphasis on the entrepreneurial spirit that makes this country so great, long-term investments in our economy and infrastructure to build a stable and sustainable middle class, and a return to constructive political discourse."
My question is...is this really the Onions view of Republicans?
/s
"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?" - Will Rogers
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
Albert E. stone
The guys at the FED and in WS have never heard of Albert E-stone
We don't need no stinking Congress.
El Guapo: "Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?"
Jefe: "Oh, yes. You have a plethora."
El Guapo: "Jefe, what is a plethora?"
Jefe: [pause] "Why, El Guapo?"
The United States will lose the credibility and respect we incorrectly assume other nations still hold toward us
That was funny.
ok once on the onion site, I found this nugget
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-pumpkin-spice-channel-to-offer-fallthemed-hard,34175/
Gobble Gobble. One of the best Onion artciles ever. With an awesome picture to boot. Clicking on the picture is NSFW but very tempting
We can still pay the interest on the "loan" so there will be no default.
Bullets are less expensive. Why would you give your money to a Banker?
'cos thats how the wheel turns; you give money to the banker who then asks for eternal rent and exorbitent interest; loan sharks are like that; and when you fall breathless and helpless and run to Costa Rica he buys the bullets and forecloses your assets and then sends the liquidator to make sure you do not file a court action by cleaning you out. As he has gone beyond the pale of duty in regulatory capture along with LAW n ORDER guys.
Those who enter the circle of power say : our economic interests are being compromised by these sad sacks and entitlement asses. So we are justified to be the eyes and ears, nay the heart and soul of capitalism, and that means we get "carte blanche"; right Jamie, Ben, Larry, Robert R and all those others who made banking this fantastic machine it has become, all pervasive and all tentacular like the NSA is. Twin prongs, horns of Hattin, thats when payback comes; at Hattin as of old.
Blank checks like gulf of Tonkin and WMD Irak are the fabricated lies of power cabals; made immortal in the Three Musketeers when the phrase was invented : Its by my order and in the interests of the State that the bearer of this document has done what he has done. (good ole milady, femme fatale). That created the precedence of what would be known in hubristic parlese as "reason of state"; like NSA spying etc. and TBTF bail outs; all reasons of state baby. Drill baby drill for "reasons of state".
I just read several articles here and elsewhere in rapid succession, and this one didn't stand out as being especially ridiculous. I think the Onion is well on its way to becoming obsolete.
The Onion did a better job with this Halloween guide:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/tips-for-decorating-your-home-for-hallo...
Really hits "Home" as far as the American consumer goes. Just a couple examples:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/psychiatrists-deeply-concerned-for-5-of...
ZH did a good service for the Onion today by getting more than few of us to read some of it's articles and snoop around it's site.
I feel so much better now that I read this greatly informative article. Honey, get the credit cards - we're headed to the mall!
Kids = future tax cows.....
Not a single person of the 535 plus the executive has honestly discussed the real size of this nations real debt. They cannot because that would be an admission of the futility of even trying to fix anything.
An honest politician would tell people to buy gold and then would leave DC and do something else useful with his/her life.
As long as they play the game around the 17$ trillion figure they are just playing politics.
Only when they are far removed, physically and temporally can they tell the truth..that .there are no problems in Washington that can be solved in this currency regime.
"An honest politician would tell people to buy gold and then would leave DC and do something else useful with his/her life."
Hey, that's what Ron Paul did! Any doubts about his honesty should be well resolved.
Sadly, the majority of them are too stupid to realize what's really going on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NKB3oFl2vw
Hubbard predicted all of this back in 1967 with remarkable accuracy. Listen to link beginning at 9:04
Source of the front page picture?
Maybe a link to it, or publish it.
I'm bored of this present 'crisis' already....just raise the debt ceiling to eleventy billion trillion dollars and let's move on to next weeks new crisis!
http://unitedcpm.com if you click that link, maybe my boss will think i am working. Maybe.
http://unitedcpm.com if you click that link, maybe my boss will think i am working. Maybe.
New Zealand considers introducing Cyprus style levy, "expropriation tax" on deposits.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/03/19/not-again-is-new-zealand-real...
"It's always about you, isn't it? Prick." HA! what a gem
Apart from the bit about "What the republicans want in exchange" which seems dripping with irony, that just about sums it up. All this theatre to continue with the new normal - the rapid descent into banana republic status with the peeling veneer of developed world facade.
I would not be surprised if I woke up tomorrow to see Generalissimo Ombongo has taken over the US and decreed:
All whistleblowers must be imprisoned/killed (While expressing his country to be a beacon of freedom and transparent democracy).
Thousands of children in third world countries too poor to sue or protect themselves must be droned/bombed in the name of terror. (While expressing noble notions of protecting civilians around the world).
We must fight terrorism everywhere (While funding, training and supporting human organ eating terrorists in countries of geopolitical and economic interest to Israel, Saudi Arabia and the MIC)
His administration does not do torture and kidnapping. (While continuing the torture and kidnapping of suspects)
He rules in peace (While bringing the world to the brink of war with false flags, and destabilisation programs in every continent)
He rules in accordance to the rule of law and the Constitution (While breaking them at every opportunity and presiding over the biggest transfer of wealth from the poor and middle class to the wealthy)
His people never had it so good (While food stamps, unemployment, people with no savings are at record highs)
....Wait a minute. I think I've seen this nightmare already. Thanks to the exported inflation of the reserve currency, the whole world is living the American Dream, choking on the green dysentery cascading out of Bernanke's arse, soon to be pissed on by Yellen's diseased golden cunt, being priced out of staple foods when they're not being shot/bombed/droned/kidnapped/tortured/spied on/poisoned/robbed by the whole panoply of corporations and agencies from the lovely land of the free.
I needed some good Friday humor. I'm laughing my assof atsome of these comments. I'm on my mobil until Monday. I appologize for any mispelled "fat finger" comments over the W/E.
banking scum. look at this piece of trash propaganda on MSN
http://www.today.com/money/paying-cash-costs-americans-200-billion-year-...
title shoud say "debt slaves using cash: banks losing out in Billions of $ in fees"
I wonder what ol Herb thinks about the likes of Bitcoin.
That's electronic and easy to use.
All you need to know about that today.com article:
"CNBC's Herb Weisbaum digs deep into the study to find where all the money is going and how you can save."
Right...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqrF_9AceT4&list=RD02h6FnMKx5crs
Miriam Carey Story is Staged
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKucdX7fvjI
For Canadians: Government of Canada says Harkat is an Al Qaeda sleeper agent, even thought Federal Court of Canada says he is not and multiple experts agree that AQ never had a sleeper agent program. One wonders how a government can argue both sides of the same agrument at the same time. SEe Ottawa Citizen article at: http://tinyurl.com/n7z58p2
Only problem is the US technically defaulted back in 1979 under Jimmy Carter. Lest everyone forget since this stuff as far as the MSM is concerned is ancient history like the building of the pyramids in Egypt or unprecedented according to Jack Lew. There was also a fight over raising the debt ceiling in 1979 to $830bn going on at the time when it happened. They did raise it at the last second but the Treasury missed payments totaling about $120m on April 26, May 3 and May 10 that year. What was the excuse for missed payments. They blamed the missed checks on printer problems specifically word processing equipment used to print the checks along with large amount of small investors involved for the amount checks needed to be cut.
To be fair the investors all did eventually get their checks including back interest even though they were paid late and all Treasuries maturing on May 17 and later that year were paid on time.
They spun it as a delay not a default since everyone ultimately got paid and payments after the 17th were all paid on time.
The penalty was that 120m in late payments cost them 0.6 percentage point increase on interest rates the US government had to pay on debt. The other consequence was the rise in interest rates in the early 80s being at least partially due to this and not purely the FED's doing through monetary policy alone. So if history is any guide for every 120m in late payments will affect interest rates by about 0.6% in the up direction. Adjusted for inflation in 2012 dollars that is for every $373,629,301.90 in late payments interest rates will be affected in an upward direction by about 0.6% and an end to ZIRP in general whether the next FED chair she's a man baby wants to continue the policy or not.
Libertarians teach they don't preach. History is your guide for a baseline scenario because it tends to rhyme.
Wasn't it a default when FEDGOV ceased to redeem gold certificates on their stated terms in 1933?
Wasn't it a default when they ceased to redeem silver certificates on their stated terms in 1964?
No and no based on the official definition. Changing the deal but still paying at payment time is not a default as long as the both parties agree to the change in the contract terms. It is bad business in general but when you are big dog you can do these sort of things and force counter parties to accept it whether they like it or not.
http://www.investopedia.com/terms/d/default2.asp
1. The failure to promptly pay interest or principal when due. Default occurs when a debtor is unable to meet the legal obligation of debt repayment. Borrowers may default when they are unable to make the required payment or are unwilling to honor the debt.
2. The failure to perform on a futures contract as required by an exchange.
...
Shows Obama is a liar also about not wanting to be the first. Carter beat him to the punch in 1979 since late payments whatever the reason was is textbook definition #1 for default.
When Gbmt takes in 250 Billion...
And Debt Service is 20 billion...
Why do we need to raise the debt limit?
(Hint: It ain't about default, it's about moar SPENDING!)
Shame on conservatives for not teaching this....
"DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS COCK RING?"
The Onion is like a sore cock, you cant beat it. Never disappoints.
Fuck off junkster. I'm in the Northern Territory of Australia you assclown.
You have a better chance of understanding why South Dakota got 5 feet of snow last week and no one covered it
This is from the Onion? What, no snarky comments about bigoted conservatives' homophobia, racism, and islamophobia?
I'm building a fire. Crocs don't discriminate... They might spit Harry Reid out though. ( he's a tooth pick)
"Picture a cake, small crumbs of which fall off during each slice, or transaction"
Same analogy used in the movie, Bonfire of the Vanities.
perhaps there are millions of people, or billions,
who do not comprehend that the future trillions of debt
is required to sustain the previous trillions of
fraudulently induced debt money fraud foundation and
serviceability?
"..when things get weird, the weird turn pro." h.t.
.
just sleep well and recognize it for what it is
i guess.
How would a government default affect me?
It’s always about you, isn’t it? Prick.
Damme, i blew half a beer out my nose. Incredible when the Onion becomes less of a propaganda piece than our "news" organizations.