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Chuck Schumer's "Bottom Line": Don't Hurt The Stocks

Tyler Durden's picture


We commend Senator Schumer for being the first Senator to openly step up and admit that the worst case scenario in the whole Congressional 3D IMAX farce is not about keeping the economy afloat, is not about preserving jobs, but merely keeping the stock market at or near its all time highs:

  • Schumer Says He Worries About Monday Stock Drop on Default Risk. "This is playing with fire," Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., tells reporters. Says he worried whether “the stock market will go down

For those confused, Schumer has merely admitted what the vast majority of the Senate, where two thirds are millionaires, and nearly half the House, think: don't you dare let the manipulated precious, which at last check was just 1% below its all time Fed-balance sheet derived highs, drop.

And speaking of Chuck Schumer's "bottom line", here it is.

What is most pathetic is not that Schumer is just another corrupt, complicit muppet doing Wall Street's bidding: everyone else in Congress is too (or would be if they had the opportunity). What is most pathetic is how cheaply he has sold himself: $514,840 in career "contributions" from Goldman is what Lloyd Blankfein calls Saturday lunch money.


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Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:34 | Link to Comment razorthin
razorthin's picture

Fuck you Schmucky.

God forbid you SHORT, you son of a bitch.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:38 | Link to Comment DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

But he has a D behind his name, he's for the little guy, the very middle class the put him in office, right, RIGHT?

OMG, I'm losing all confidence in the very politicians who told me they were there to help me get my fair share.

Tell me it isn't so, please tell me it isn't so...


Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:41 | Link to Comment Arius
Arius's picture

"What is most pathetic is how cheaply he has sold himself"

Now,  let’s be serious ... they do not hold real power anyway ... the real power lies elsewhere.

just a vote (one of the most important actually) in Senate history: the creation of the Federal Express Reserve was passed by the vote of ONLY 3 brave corrupted souls on December 23 when everyone else was enjoying their well deserved break at home.


Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:07 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Schumer thought balloon....

Those fuckers.  Boehner and Reid.  Especially the little sniveling fuck Reid.  They lied to me again, the fucks.  Led me to believe that everything was ago, all hunkie dorey, smooth as a baby's oiled ass silk, softer that Merkel's upper inner thighs, but oh fucking no.  So I still got my leveraged 500% spec longs open over the weekend.  And that's my fucking money, not some customer's or something backed by the taxpayer.  No, my fucking money. And those assholes at Goldman and Corzine told me to just let it ride, lookit all the money you're makin' Chuckie Boy.  Chuckie Boy my ass, I'll bury those fuckers, bury them...  Goldman'll pay for this shit.  Pay ME for this shit, Goddamnit...

And so it went, another day in Paradise with Chuck

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:30 | Link to Comment economics9698
economics9698's picture

Pathetic Zionist pos. I would like 5 minutes with the mother fucker.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 19:00 | Link to Comment LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

I'll do it in 20 seconds...

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:46 | Link to Comment g'kar
g'kar's picture

Schumer must have been distracted by all the gun control legislation he's dreaming up.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:27 | Link to Comment Dadburnitpa
Dadburnitpa's picture

Fuck Chuck.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:40 | Link to Comment SheepleLOVEched...
SheepleLOVEcheddarbaybiscuits's picture

Somebody needs to tell this liberal scum that markets go up and down;thats what a healthy market does. Liberal mindset=bubbles. These people should not be allowed anywhere near a policy making position when it comes to financial markets. They have absolutely no clue in hell what they are doing.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:17 | Link to Comment Cursive
Cursive's picture


"The Market" is the new Potemkin Village.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:43 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Beat me to it!

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:46 | Link to Comment Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Upchuck continued by saying, America needs to think about what is good for Israel.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:29 | Link to Comment Arius
Arius's picture

FINALLY, the voice of an adult in the room ...

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:38 | Link to Comment Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Bear Stearns still exists.

I guess the dead can be brought back to life.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:31 | Link to Comment Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

The market IS the con.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:34 | Link to Comment prains
prains's picture


Sat, 10/12/2013 - 17:33 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

default reminds me of the costa concordia wallowing belly up.

A whale of a default and JPM has nightmares about Jaws ! 

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:40 | Link to Comment Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Is there a more pathetic Senator. Yes. But remember the quote associated with this cocksucker and Bernanke. "Get to work." This is why we are where we are because this motherfucker did not do his work.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:46 | Link to Comment Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Now, don't blame poor chucky in all of this.

He's just an inverstor like every other J6P.

All he asks is that "Doing God's Work" Lloyd gives him call right before the market crashes, he just wants to get out on the top is all.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:39 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

what amazes me is that the constitution allows such blatant pimping out in the open. Where is amendment N° X that says all corporate contributions to a person who stands for elected  office as a member of Congress should not exceed one cockroach turd?

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:06 | Link to Comment Arius
Arius's picture

i am kind of confused ... are you talking about the 2300 pages version or the 2200 pages?

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:52 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

I'm talking about amendment X; you know the X file that is still top secret in some NSA vault, waiting to be enacted. The bill of required amendments that have never been voted by phony Boners who've lost their Skulls; at least the grey matter in it and their sense of honour. 

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:41 | Link to Comment Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Maybe the Democrats will feel the heat and negioate to keep their Millions in Stocks from going down.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 19:34 | Link to Comment andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

Not a chance. Old Chuck Schmucky will have to take one for the team. Obozo wants a hard default, and he will get it.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:42 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Fuck Chuck!

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:44 | Link to Comment prains
prains's picture

Huck Chuck a Fuck Duck


<I'm hungover>

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 17:10 | Link to Comment monad
monad's picture

Try valium.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:40 | Link to Comment Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

More afraid of Stocks going down than the good of the Country.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:47 | Link to Comment Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Now how can it be "good" for the country if it doesn't benefit Chucky Cheese first.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 17:09 | Link to Comment disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

You know...first off I love you wfs. Second and with crestfallen h/t to Falak above but "12 guys with box cutters did all this." I mean this really is it this time...we survived the Lusitania, Pearl Harbor, Gettysburg. But twelve guys with box cutters...twelve guys. Speaking of which isn't that against the rules in Football?

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:44 | Link to Comment NoelConfidence
NoelConfidence's picture

Schumer = Whore

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:58 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

"The most dangerous place in Washington, DC is between Chuck Schumer and a microphone."

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 17:09 | Link to Comment monad
monad's picture

Schumer = Katsa

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 18:06 | Link to Comment whoopsing
whoopsing's picture

I'm sure you mean cheap whore

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 18:22 | Link to Comment Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Schumer = smegma

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:48 | Link to Comment q99x2
q99x2's picture

Schumer is #1 conspirator against the United States of America in exchange for payoffs.

Recall Chuck Schumer.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:41 | Link to Comment One of We
One of We's picture

Here's the recall campaign slogan:


Fuck Chuck!

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:52 | Link to Comment surf0766
surf0766's picture

If the Dow and EBT both go down I am taking monday off . First day off this year.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:54 | Link to Comment GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

This entire fraudulent, croni-criminal ponzi system really needs to come down...


Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:03 | Link to Comment scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

The faster this stock market sells off the sooner the fed can own everything/all paper and we the people can move on to a physical, reality based system... leave these scum bags alone to shuffle their worthless paper back and forth with each other

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:58 | Link to Comment ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Kill the Banks and Bankers, and Chuck Schumer along with them.

The greatest force of evil in our Republic today; the slothful mammon lusting financial sector and their treasonous political lackeys.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:59 | Link to Comment squid427
squid427's picture

this is the same guy sponsoring a bill for .gov to determine who a journalist is and wheather or not they are protcted under the 1st amendment

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 15:59 | Link to Comment Everyman
Everyman's picture

At what point in history do these stupid "elected" fucks think the populace will not rise up, revolt and shoot them in the head?

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:28 | Link to Comment 20-20 Hindsight
20-20 Hindsight's picture

The fact that it hasn't happened probably means that it's never going to happen.  Citizens have become too blithely ignorant, apathetic and/or a bunch of pussies.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:49 | Link to Comment petolo
petolo's picture

Don't forget all those drug pushers with their presciption pads: anti-depressants, tranquilisers, sedatives, mood stabilisers, man , i'm ok , our masters are ok.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:04 | Link to Comment Blazed
Blazed's picture

Ok Shoo-muh!

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:12 | Link to Comment thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

if the s&p futures are not -40 pts to open sunday night, this whole thing is a joke.


40 should be the minimum

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:12 | Link to Comment ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

S&P at 666 in March '09 was real valuation, the rest is FED cotton candy fluffing and bullshit.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:21 | Link to Comment rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

-40 would be a reasonable marker however, I've noticed quite frequently that -20 is when there's always a scoop ramp.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:14 | Link to Comment IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

EBT down.
Just an upgrade glitch surely....

Computer Upgrade Blamed For Nationwide EBT System Shutdown On Saturday

BOSTON (CBS) – A possible glitch in a computer system upgrade was causing major problems nationwide with the Electronic Benefits Transfer System on Saturday, as a countless number of shoppers found themselves stranded at the register.

Reports from around the country began pouring in around 9 a.m. on Saturday that customers’ EBT cards were not working in stores.

The glitch, however, did not appear to be part of the government shutdown. At 2 p.m., an EBT customer service representative told CBS Boston that the system was currently down for a computer system upgrade.

The representative said the glitch is affecting people nationwide. She could not say when officials expected the system to be restored.

People calling the customer service line were being told to call back later.

State officials said they were preparing a statement to further explain the issue.

The federal EBT website was unavailable due to the government shutdown.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:24 | Link to Comment rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

If this happned on the 1st of the month we'd be guaranteed panic in the streets! But no, this is an isolated non event, unfortunately, unless these are people who answer to Polls, ha ha!

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:26 | Link to Comment IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Yep, just testing the waters.....

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:35 | Link to Comment DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Their just plugging everything into the matrix.

The rise of the machine, SkyNet has become self aware and now the drones have become autonomous...

Pretty soon you're gonna have a chip in your body somewhere that ensures no fraudulent transactions and all taxes paid and accounted for, eh?


Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:17 | Link to Comment Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

Chuck I hope you fall out a window and land ass end first on rusty piece of rebar...

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 17:12 | Link to Comment Cosmicserpent
Cosmicserpent's picture

I think he'd probably like that. May we live to see the day where these traitorous heads adorn lamp posts along the national mall.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:23 | Link to Comment 401K of Dooom
401K of Dooom's picture

Excuse me Sen. Schumer but to paraphrase the great Wendy's advertisement from the 80's "Where's the consistency?".

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:19 | Link to Comment surf0766
surf0766's picture

All we need now is Kramer say the Fed knows nothing and talking the market down

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:31 | Link to Comment Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

It is easy to commit Treason, when you are a dual citizen......just look at the list of names. 

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:49 | Link to Comment Atomizer
Atomizer's picture



Just on the whim that a deal is stuck, Wall Street hits 300 +. Wall Street is the parasites killing the US. What happens when Wall Street sucks the last blood from host? Sure, the new international currency will continue the monster under humanitarian intensions. Blow me fuck off..


Not one protective service will take the bullet for you. In the meantime, care on.. blows a kiss to a puckered government asshole servant.  

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:48 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Schumer's sheepish statement ... "Well I hope that the stock market doesn't fall"....... essentially translates into...".I am short the S&P going into the weekend."...



Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:51 | Link to Comment tchaser5858
tchaser5858's picture

I want to be a congressman.  Where else can you earn a 6 figure income and come away a multi-millionaire?

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 16:55 | Link to Comment therover
therover's picture

His statement validates Wall Street DOES NOT equal Mainstreet nor the economy (yet these cocksukers seem to think so),

Sooner (hopefully) or later main street slaughters wall street and burns the Hamptons. 

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 17:23 | Link to Comment John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

Vote the incumbent bums out.


Sun, 10/13/2013 - 11:34 | Link to Comment Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Is that Janet Yellen on his right?

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 17:35 | Link to Comment brettd
brettd's picture

Obama is either mentally ill or an untrustworthy back-stabber.

Perhaps both. 

I don't envy Boehner.  He ought to walk away.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 17:46 | Link to Comment Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Obama is text book narcissist and border line psychopath

Boehner is just a pathetic little orange man

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 17:47 | Link to Comment I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Chucky you snivelling POS> You have raped all. May u and your family go to hell. 

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 17:48 | Link to Comment I am Jobe
Sat, 10/12/2013 - 17:59 | Link to Comment Gmoneyjr
Gmoneyjr's picture

When will America figure out we have been played.
Congress must just sit back and laugh.
America is bankrupt and they are filthy rich fat old pieces of shit.
We should have the balls to try them for treason.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 19:17 | Link to Comment rwe2late
rwe2late's picture

 Schumer and most long-term members of Congress have profitably invested in the stock market,

many thanks due to the fact that they were exempt from insider trading laws.

Until most recently that is, when insider trading was ostensibly made illegal for them, though also made near impossible to prove or enforce.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 18:38 | Link to Comment LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

I don't remember 'financial markets' being any part of the oath he took to the people of the United States....Off with his POS worthless HEAD and all of them who think like him! The time to take back our country is here! Who's with me?

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 19:01 | Link to Comment BullyBearish
BullyBearish's picture

there is a very special place in HELL waiting for Schumer, Bernanke, Finestain, etc.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 20:46 | Link to Comment khakuda
khakuda's picture

Schumer and Obama are trying to get the stock market to go down to get negotiating leverage.  Absolutely shameful and doesn't look like it's working dudes.  Maybe you shouldn't have put that grinning frog in charge of the Fed if you wanted the markets to drop.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 20:46 | Link to Comment max2205
max2205's picture


Sat, 10/12/2013 - 20:48 | Link to Comment Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

How much of a schmuck is two buck Chuck, stuck in the muck of being Goldman's cuck?

Now get to work Chuck!

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 21:00 | Link to Comment aztrader
aztrader's picture

Today, the market is all they have.   They can manipulate it at will and skim billions from the small guy within hours.    This corrupt Congress just ignores it and counts their winnings every day.   Everything is about saving the markets and keeping the status quo going.  Comments from the big banksters that the economy will collapse if they don't raise the debt ceiling.   So What!  90% of the country wouldn't feel it unless they cut their handouts.   Wallstreet is the biggest beneficiary of QE, while the zero rates haven't done crap for the little guy.

I remember in 2009 when Bernanke starting his pumping and a congress woman from CA, walked up to him and thanked him for saving her 401k.   I couldn't believe it.  Now it's an every day theme in Congress.  Save the markets at any cost and Schumer is at the top of the crap pile. 

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 21:51 | Link to Comment goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

'Get to work Mrs. Yellen' 

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 22:16 | Link to Comment exartizo
exartizo's picture

Schumer is Simply a Wart On The Ass of America.

He is the Symptom of the Greed that is prevalent in our business and government leadership throughout.

This whole government Scenario is So Surreal.

This is/was the United States Of America.

Who from our previous generation could have even conceived of the idea that this Once Great Nation

could default on it's debt?

Who even ten short years ago could have thought of it?

Who would have believed that this Once Mightiest Nation On The Planet

could have fallen into decay and corruption in so short a time?

America's descent into The Abyss Of Ignominy because of our leaders has come breathtakingly quickly

and taken so many unawares.


Even to this day.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 23:48 | Link to Comment Reaper
Reaper's picture

Schumer has controlled appointments to federal second ciruit (NY, VT and CT) courts at the appellate and district court level and pay to play.   Kagan and Sotomayer are from Schumer's federal second circuit.  Schumer's former lawyer, Bharara, is US attorney for Southern District of NY (Manhattan).  Bribery is different from fund raising according to Schumer's boy, Bharara.

Schumer's Baharara won't prosecute.

Schumer raised funds for other Senate candidates.  Need protection in federal court in Manhattan? 




Sun, 10/13/2013 - 00:16 | Link to Comment I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

Schumer's precious, lol.

Sun, 10/13/2013 - 09:09 | Link to Comment d edwards
d edwards's picture

He, just like 0bozo a week or so ago are trying to rattle the markets on purpose.

Sun, 10/13/2013 - 12:27 | Link to Comment boh knows
boh knows's picture

I wonder how many public officials went short weeks ago?

Sun, 10/13/2013 - 16:51 | Link to Comment sbenard
sbenard's picture

The stock market is NOT a barometer of the US economy. It's a barometer of the size, cost, and intrusiveness of government!

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