Chuck Schumer's "Bottom Line": Don't Hurt The Stocks

Tyler Durden's picture

We commend Senator Schumer for being the first Senator to openly step up and admit that the worst case scenario in the whole Congressional 3D IMAX farce is not about keeping the economy afloat, is not about preserving jobs, but merely keeping the stock market at or near its all time highs:

  • Schumer Says He Worries About Monday Stock Drop on Default Risk. "This is playing with fire," Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., tells reporters. Says he worried whether “the stock market will go down

For those confused, Schumer has merely admitted what the vast majority of the Senate, where two thirds are millionaires, and nearly half the House, think: don't you dare let the manipulated precious, which at last check was just 1% below its all time Fed-balance sheet derived highs, drop.

And speaking of Chuck Schumer's "bottom line", here it is.

What is most pathetic is not that Schumer is just another corrupt, complicit muppet doing Wall Street's bidding: everyone else in Congress is too (or would be if they had the opportunity). What is most pathetic is how cheaply he has sold himself: $514,840 in career "contributions" from Goldman is what Lloyd Blankfein calls Saturday lunch money.

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razorthin's picture

Fuck you Schmucky.

God forbid you SHORT, you son of a bitch.

DaddyO's picture

But he has a D behind his name, he's for the little guy, the very middle class the put him in office, right, RIGHT?

OMG, I'm losing all confidence in the very politicians who told me they were there to help me get my fair share.

Tell me it isn't so, please tell me it isn't so...


Arius's picture

"What is most pathetic is how cheaply he has sold himself"

Now,  let’s be serious ... they do not hold real power anyway ... the real power lies elsewhere.

just a vote (one of the most important actually) in Senate history: the creation of the Federal Express Reserve was passed by the vote of ONLY 3 brave corrupted souls on December 23 when everyone else was enjoying their well deserved break at home.


knukles's picture

Schumer thought balloon....

Those fuckers.  Boehner and Reid.  Especially the little sniveling fuck Reid.  They lied to me again, the fucks.  Led me to believe that everything was ago, all hunkie dorey, smooth as a baby's oiled ass silk, softer that Merkel's upper inner thighs, but oh fucking no.  So I still got my leveraged 500% spec longs open over the weekend.  And that's my fucking money, not some customer's or something backed by the taxpayer.  No, my fucking money. And those assholes at Goldman and Corzine told me to just let it ride, lookit all the money you're makin' Chuckie Boy.  Chuckie Boy my ass, I'll bury those fuckers, bury them...  Goldman'll pay for this shit.  Pay ME for this shit, Goddamnit...

And so it went, another day in Paradise with Chuck

economics9698's picture

Pathetic Zionist pos. I would like 5 minutes with the mother fucker.

LooseLee's picture

I'll do it in 20 seconds...

g'kar's picture

Schumer must have been distracted by all the gun control legislation he's dreaming up.

SheepleLOVEcheddarbaybiscuits's picture

Somebody needs to tell this liberal scum that markets go up and down;thats what a healthy market does. Liberal mindset=bubbles. These people should not be allowed anywhere near a policy making position when it comes to financial markets. They have absolutely no clue in hell what they are doing.

Cursive's picture


"The Market" is the new Potemkin Village.

Millivanilli's picture

Upchuck continued by saying, America needs to think about what is good for Israel.

Arius's picture

FINALLY, the voice of an adult in the room ...

Pure Evil's picture

Bear Stearns still exists.

I guess the dead can be brought back to life.

Spastica Rex's picture

The market IS the con.

falak pema's picture

default reminds me of the costa concordia wallowing belly up.

A whale of a default and JPM has nightmares about Jaws ! 

Everybodys All American's picture

Is there a more pathetic Senator. Yes. But remember the quote associated with this cocksucker and Bernanke. "Get to work." This is why we are where we are because this motherfucker did not do his work.

Pure Evil's picture

Now, don't blame poor chucky in all of this.

He's just an inverstor like every other J6P.

All he asks is that "Doing God's Work" Lloyd gives him call right before the market crashes, he just wants to get out on the top is all.

falak pema's picture

what amazes me is that the constitution allows such blatant pimping out in the open. Where is amendment N° X that says all corporate contributions to a person who stands for elected  office as a member of Congress should not exceed one cockroach turd?

Arius's picture

i am kind of confused ... are you talking about the 2300 pages version or the 2200 pages?

falak pema's picture

I'm talking about amendment X; you know the X file that is still top secret in some NSA vault, waiting to be enacted. The bill of required amendments that have never been voted by phony Boners who've lost their Skulls; at least the grey matter in it and their sense of honour. 

Waterfallsparkles's picture

Maybe the Democrats will feel the heat and negioate to keep their Millions in Stocks from going down.

andrewp111's picture

Not a chance. Old Chuck Schmucky will have to take one for the team. Obozo wants a hard default, and he will get it.

prains's picture

Huck Chuck a Fuck Duck


<I'm hungover>

Waterfallsparkles's picture

More afraid of Stocks going down than the good of the Country.

Pure Evil's picture

Now how can it be "good" for the country if it doesn't benefit Chucky Cheese first.

disabledvet's picture

You know...first off I love you wfs. Second and with crestfallen h/t to Falak above but "12 guys with box cutters did all this." I mean this really is it this time...we survived the Lusitania, Pearl Harbor, Gettysburg. But twelve guys with box cutters...twelve guys. Speaking of which isn't that against the rules in Football?

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

"The most dangerous place in Washington, DC is between Chuck Schumer and a microphone."

whoopsing's picture

I'm sure you mean cheap whore

q99x2's picture

Schumer is #1 conspirator against the United States of America in exchange for payoffs.

Recall Chuck Schumer.

One of We's picture

Here's the recall campaign slogan:


Fuck Chuck!

surf0766's picture

If the Dow and EBT both go down I am taking monday off . First day off this year.

GrinandBearit's picture

This entire fraudulent, croni-criminal ponzi system really needs to come down...


scatterbrains's picture

The faster this stock market sells off the sooner the fed can own everything/all paper and we the people can move on to a physical, reality based system... leave these scum bags alone to shuffle their worthless paper back and forth with each other

ebworthen's picture

Kill the Banks and Bankers, and Chuck Schumer along with them.

The greatest force of evil in our Republic today; the slothful mammon lusting financial sector and their treasonous political lackeys.

squid427's picture

this is the same guy sponsoring a bill for .gov to determine who a journalist is and wheather or not they are protcted under the 1st amendment

Everyman's picture

At what point in history do these stupid "elected" fucks think the populace will not rise up, revolt and shoot them in the head?

20-20 Hindsight's picture

The fact that it hasn't happened probably means that it's never going to happen.  Citizens have become too blithely ignorant, apathetic and/or a bunch of pussies.

petolo's picture

Don't forget all those drug pushers with their presciption pads: anti-depressants, tranquilisers, sedatives, mood stabilisers, man , i'm ok , our masters are ok.

thismarketisrigged's picture

if the s&p futures are not -40 pts to open sunday night, this whole thing is a joke.


40 should be the minimum

ebworthen's picture

S&P at 666 in March '09 was real valuation, the rest is FED cotton candy fluffing and bullshit.

rubearish10's picture

-40 would be a reasonable marker however, I've noticed quite frequently that -20 is when there's always a scoop ramp.

IridiumRebel's picture

EBT down.
Just an upgrade glitch surely....

Computer Upgrade Blamed For Nationwide EBT System Shutdown On Saturday

BOSTON (CBS) – A possible glitch in a computer system upgrade was causing major problems nationwide with the Electronic Benefits Transfer System on Saturday, as a countless number of shoppers found themselves stranded at the register.

Reports from around the country began pouring in around 9 a.m. on Saturday that customers’ EBT cards were not working in stores.

The glitch, however, did not appear to be part of the government shutdown. At 2 p.m., an EBT customer service representative told CBS Boston that the system was currently down for a computer system upgrade.

The representative said the glitch is affecting people nationwide. She could not say when officials expected the system to be restored.

People calling the customer service line were being told to call back later.

State officials said they were preparing a statement to further explain the issue.

The federal EBT website was unavailable due to the government shutdown.